


Ride that wind back home

by Letzi



Series: Ride that Wind 'Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Barebacking, D/s relationship, Dom Gabriel, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light Bondage, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Sex Toys, Sub Dean, Suicidal Thoughts, Voyeurism, graphic depiction of violence, slave!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-02-07 04:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 213,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1885842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letzi/pseuds/Letzi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was a free man. But he fucked up and he ended up being sentenced to slavery. Now a fucking Archangel bought him. Can you believe that? Because he has trouble believing it himself. He doesn't know where Sam is, or if he's even alive. So he just tries to survive and find a way out of here. Some things happen along the way that will maybe change his mind, though...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All the little things

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write a slave!fic for a while now so here goes!
> 
> A few things to consider before you start reading : I'm not part of the bdsm community, so I did some research and I wrote thing as best as i could. This is my first time writing a D/s relationship, I hope i didn't get too many things wrong. i tried to make is as safe as I could, don't hesitate to tell me if you think some things are wrong (i don't want to go all 50 shades on you peeps!)
> 
> Please check the tags before reading. Lots of triggering content in this one!
> 
> First chapter is from the POV of an OC but Dean is coming though, don't worry!  
> Okay i'll shut up now, enjoy :D
> 
> Title taken from the song "Bad Devil" by Devin Townsend
> 
> UPDATE : After a few comments I received I feel like I need to warn the new readers about an issue that's been pointed to me : The start of Dean and Gabriel relationship can be read as dub-con, and it does not follow the rules of bdsm safety as properly as it should. This is something that will evolve as their relationship evolve. I hope you'll bear with me as I try to make things as right as I can. Thank you :)

My name is Jordan.

All the boys at school say it’s a guy’s name but I know it’s not. I like my name. And anyway the boys at school always make fun of me, so I don’t always believe what they say. The Master likes my name too, he told me so. He told me I’m a very bright little girl, and so I told the boys he said that. They just laughed at me, saying he was only telling me this so I would be ‘nice to him’. I know what they meant by that, but I don’t want to even think about it. I mean, I’m twelve, so I’m old enough to know. Mama explained it to me. But the Master is not like that. And he’s an angel. Mama reads the bible to me every night so I know angels are not like that. I know he has pleasure slaves and everything, but Mama says it’s normal, it’s what every Master do, and I know he’s nice to them.

Mama explained to me what pleasure slaves were because the Master likes men. And the truth is, I have boy bits, but I know I’m not a boy. I don’t really know how to explain this but I know I’m not. And it’s difficult to make people understand. I think Mama understands now, but she wanted to make sure I knew what could happen in the future. But the Master knows, and he understands.

I remember the first time he called me a girl, in front of Mama and even Old Mrs. Herbert who’s always mean to me. It was the best feeling in the world. That’s why I like the Master, I know not a lot of people do. He doesn’t talk much and sometimes he’s rude but I think it’s because he doesn’t know how to react to people.

That day, Mama was trying to get me to cut my hair, and I really didn’t want to. I was crying because I was scared. I was just starting to feel real again, and she wanted to take it away. I know it’s silly, it’s just hair. Slaves don’t have a say in it though. There’s a standard length for boys, and a standard length for girls. But some Masters have long hair. The Master has longer hair than most men. And some of the ladies have short hair and I think it’s pretty. But I like having long hair. My face looks prettier with longer hair, and it makes me feel real. But it was starting to get really long and Mama didn’t want any problem with the Master.

So she was dragging me by an arm, with the help of Mrs. Herbert, trying to get me down to our quarters so she could cut my hair. They had managed to drag me all the way from the garden to the entrance hall but as we passed the stairs that led to the Master’s quarters I grabbed the banister and I held on to it as if my life depended on it. I was crying so hard I was shaking and I was trying to explain but Mrs. Herbert wasn’t letting me speak and after a few minutes of trying to get me downstairs she slapped me. It hurt so bad I couldn’t help but let go of the banister and I fell to the floor. She took advantage of that and picked me up, holding me above ground and pinning my arms with hers so that I couldn’t hold on to anything else. I started crying harder then, screaming for her to let me go.

“What’s happening?!”

The Master was standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at us, a frown on his face. Mrs. Herbert let go of me and I fell on the floor.

“Master!” Mama whispered, and she tugged at my shirt so that I would stood up and stand properly like she taught me too. I did, but I couldn’t help sobbing, even if I tried my hardest not to make any sound. I kept looking at the ground and I heard the Master walking toward us. I saw his shoes appear in the place I was looking and I heard him clear his throat. A sob escaped me and I pressed my hand against my mouth.

“Master Gabriel, we are so, so sorry…” Mrs. Herbert croaked. “Marissa’s boy is just being silly. We didn’t mean to trouble you. He’ll get a good beating and I’m sure he’ll behave.”

I felt some more tears running down my cheeks as I heard the word ‘beating’, and my heart started hammering in my chest. I hated Mrs. Herbert. I hated her so much. It wasn’t even my fault. It was her that told Mama I needed a haircut when I could have waited a few more weeks. Another sob escaped me and it rang even louder in the heavy silence of the empty hall.

The Master crouched in front of me so I lowered my gaze even more. I felt his hand push mine away and take a grip of my chin, pushing it up so that I would look at him. I couldn’t even see his face because my eyes were full of tears. I blinked a few times, trying to get rid of them, but they just kept pouring.

“Alright, Kiddo, what’s happening?” He repeated.

I didn’t know if he was angry or not. He sounded calm, at least. I opened my mouth to answer but I couldn’t speak. I sobbed again and I closed my mouth. I realized I was shaking really hard. I felt the tears run down again.

“Hey.” He whispered gently, brushing the tears away with his thumbs. “Stop crying.”

“Please Master, d-don’t beat m-me.” I uttered.

“I’m not-“ He sighed, giving Mrs. Herbert a disapproving look. “Nobody’s going to beat you.”

I felt some tears running down my cheeks but the lump in my throat slowly disappeared as I tried to understand. I couldn’t help but stare at him, wondering if he was telling the truth or if he was just trying to shut me up. I sniffled and wiped the tears away with my sleeve.

“It’s Jordan, right? Your name?”

I looked at Mama for reassurance. I had never talked to the Master before, I was scared. Mama just nodded at me so I looked at the Master again.

“Yes Master.”

“Okay, Jordan, what’s wrong? You can tell me, I’m not going to get mad, but see I have the biggest hangover right now and I’d really like it if everybody could be real quiet today.”

I didn’t know what ‘hangover’ meant but he looked tired so I assumed it must have been some kind of sickness.

“I’m sorry Master. I just- I-“ I was trying to find my words because I didn’t want to say it out loud. I know it would sound ridiculous and he wouldn’t understand. Only Mama understood how I felt.

“It’s nothing important, Master Gabriel. He’s making a fuss because he doesn’t want to have his hair cut.” Mrs. Herbert said.

She sounded angry and annoyed, just like she always did when she talked about me. The Master rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I’m not talking to you.” He snapped.

I couldn’t help the smile that appeared on my face at that but I quickly forced it away. But the Master smiled too and I felt myself relax.

“Is that true?” He asked.

I couldn’t hold his gaze anymore and I looked down. I just nodded.

He pushed my chin up again and I saw that he was frowning.

“I’ve never even heard your voice before. You seem to be a nice child. Why would you wake up the whole mansion for a haircut?”

“I’m sorry, Master.” I whispered.

I felt the tears coming again. I couldn’t explain. I didn’t want him to laugh at me like everyone else did.

“Don’t apologize, kid, just answer me.”

I took a big breath, forcing the tears away. I felt Mama’s hand squeezing my shoulder and it gave me a bit of courage.

“It makes me look like a boy. I don’t like it.” I said.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Why? Aren’t you a boy?”

And so here it was. My whole body started shaking again. “I know I am outside. But I don’t feel like it.”

“So what do you feel like?”

He looked like he really wanted to know. I have been ask that question before but it always sounded like the people asking were making fun of me. But he wasn’t. It surprised me but then I remembered angels don’t think like us humans do. Mama taught me that we see them like they are because they have taken human vessels, or else we wouldn’t be able to even look at them. So they are neither girls nor boys. I think about that a lot.

“A girl.” I said, low enough so that only he could hear me.

He blinked at me a few times and his face relaxed.

“I see.” He stood up. “Mrs. Herbert, leave this little girl be. As far as I know I haven’t named you governess yet so just keep to your chores. Understood?”

“Yes, Master.” Mrs. Herbert said.

He waved her away. She gave me an angry look before she left but I barely noticed because I couldn’t take my eyes off the Master. Maybe he was going to yell at me once Mrs. Herbert would be gone. I didn’t know what to expect but I wasn’t scared because he had called me a girl and it wasn’t to make fun of me. It was real. I didn’t know how to react. It was strange and wonderful at the same time.

The Master looked at Mrs. Herbert go and ran a hand through his hair. His sighed as he looked at me again.

“No more crying, okay? I need my beauty sleep.”

I nodded. “Yes Master.”

He winked at me and went back upstairs. I was still staring at the empty stairway when I felt Mama shaking my shoulder.

From that day on the Master kept on smiling at me, sometimes asking me how I was, if I was doing good work and if I was good at school. Few Masters send their slaves to school, but in general angels do. Especially those of higher rank, Mama said. She often tells me I’m lucky we’re part of Master Gabriel’s household, and that she’s happy I’m able to get an education. It stops when we’re sixteen, and they mostly teach us how to write, read and we do mathematics. We also have a lot of sport so that we grow up to be strong adults later in life. At least it’s what it’s like for boys. I like sport but I don’t want to be a strong man. I don’t know what girls learn instead of sport. Some of them come to train with us, so maybe they can choose what they want to do. I think they learn a lot more things, and I’m a little jealous. I wish I could learn some more myself. I told Mama once so sometimes when we can she teaches me how to sew or knit or bake things. She says it’s what the female slaves are taught for the most part. I learned there was a boys and girls school somewhere, and that people who go there are taught the same things. I wish I could go there but Mama says that’s not where the Master sent me, and that I should be happy that I can learn anything at all.

Today Mama is hanging out some laundry behind the house and I’m sitting on the floor not far away, under a big willow tree that keeps me from the sun. It’s really hot today and I’m really happy about that since there’s no school. I’m working on my math homework, but I’m not really good at it. I wish I were, though. Slaves who are good at many stuff often help their Masters in their affairs and sometimes they even become friends. I would love to be Master Gabriel’s friend.

The wind makes my hair fly in front of my face and I smile. I never had hair that long before. They go all the way to my shoulders, almost touching them now, and as they grow they keep getting lighter and lighter. I used to have dark ginger hair and now I can sometimes see little blond strands in it. Mrs. Herbert doesn’t like it one bit but I don’t care because I’m allowed now. The Master said so and there’s nothing she can do about it.

I look at the house again, like I did every five minutes ever since I got here, but nothing moves. I’m looking because sometimes on no school days like this the Master comes and he talks to me. I don’t know why he cares so much because I’m not that special, but it make me feel happy. And it reminds me of how lucky I am. Mama hasn’t been that lucky all her life. She had another Master before but he was a demon. Most slaves have demon Masters because there’s a lot more of them. There are a lot of angels too but they mostly work in Heaven. And demons are not good Masters. They’re mean and they beat you all the time. They only keep the minimum number of slaves they need and they make them work and work and work until they die and they buy some more. Mama’s old Master was like that. When he found out she was pregnant with me he got really mad and he almost killed her. He killed my daddy and he sold Mama. Master Gabriel bought her after that with another woman, her little boy and two men. I see them around sometimes, the men.

Mama told me everything about all the slaves in the house, but they’re my favorites because they’re the ones who took care of Mama when she first got here, at the Mansion. Victor and Bobby, they’re called. The woman’s name is Lisa, and her son’s name is Ben. Ben is like my brother because we grew up together and we’re the youngest slaves in the house. Everyone is nice to us, except for Mrs. Herbert. Ben and I used to prank her all the time, and that’s why she hates him as much as she hates me but he doesn’t care. Now we don’t see each other that often because he’s been done with school since the beginning of the year and he works with all the other men. I miss him a lot but he still comes and spends some time with me whenever he can.

Mrs. Herbert suddenly burst out the door and she half-runs toward Mama.

“Are you done yet? They’re waiting for you!”

Mama sighs and finishes hanging up the sheets she is holding.

“I’m coming.” She says quietly.

Mama is always quiet, she never yells or raises her voice. She doesn’t like conflicts. I think it’s because of what happened to daddy.

“Take your boy with you, I’m tired of seeing him slacking around.”

She doesn’t even look at me and she leaves as quickly as she arrived. Mama looks at me and smile.

“Do you want to come with me to the city?” She asks.

She knows I’ll say yes. I love to go out of the house. I nod frantically as I get up and run up to her. She picks up her empty laundry basket and we walk back to the house.

“Why are we going?” I ask.

“To buy everything we need for the party, silly. You remember the Master is having a party tomorrow?”

I nod again. “What’s the party for?”

“I’m not sure, I think it has something to do with the Master’s brother.”

I think about it for a while. The Master has three brothers. I don’t like Master Lucifer and Master Michael, I don’t really have a reason why. They make me uncomfortable. Master Castiel is nice enough but he doesn’t talk much.

“Which one?”

“I don’t know, baby. I just know I need to make the food, that’s enough for me.”

I hold the door for her and we get into the house. It’s cool inside and there’s not much noise. There’s never a lot of noise in the house. Master Gabriel doesn’t have many friends. Sometimes he has other angels coming over but it’s mostly for business. They always end up drinking a bit though, and sometimes their conversations get agitated.

At least the house feels alive when Master Gabriel throws a party. I follow Mama with a smile on my face.

Five minutes later we’re both outside, and we join Jody, Ellen and Arthur outside. Jody and Ellen are good friends, but they fight a lot because they both like Bobby. I’m pretty sure Bobby avoids talking about it because it makes him uncomfortable. He likes them too but I don’t think he wants to break them apart by choosing. They’re really close because they both lost their children. Ellen had a daughter named Jo who and Jody had a little boy. I never knew them because I wasn’t even born when it happened, and Mama doesn’t talk about it. So I don’t really know how they died, I just know they did. Arthur doesn’t speak because his former Mistress cut his tongue out one day, but he’s very big and strong.

Mrs. Herbert often says she’s tired of all our problems. She’s not happy that there’s so many of us because she’s the one responsible for us all, and when we’re not okay or something happens she has to take care of it before reporting to the Master. She’s kind of like an under-Master or something. But I thought about it a lot and I think I know why we’re all here. I think the Master takes in people who are in trouble, and I like him even more for that. I heard Master Lucifer make fun of him for that once. He said he should have had us killed a long time ago because we’re useless and he has to have too many slave because of that. But Master Gabriel doesn’t care I think.

We all get into the car and I can’t help but sigh happily. Arthur’s is driving, so I feel safe. He’s the only one who can drive, so he takes us and sometimes the Master to places. The Master made him learn how to drive because he’s mean looking and he’s strong, so he can protect him against other humans. Some of them are free men and they don’t like the angels. I mean, they don’t like the demons too, but nobody likes demons.

And I think the Master likes Arthur. Not like he likes me, though. More like Jody and Ellen like Bobby. I don’t know if Arthur is the Master’s pleasure slave because Mama won’t answer me when I ask. I’m pretty sure he is anyway.

The drive to town isn’t that long and soon we’re walking in the busy streets toward the market and I start to feel more and more excited with each step. I love the noises, the smells and the sight of all the people there. Nobody knows me and they don’t see me as a boy. I can be real when I’m here. Mama, Ellen and Jody buy a lot of things, and Arthur and I we just follow. I chat to him a lot, because I know he likes it. Oftentimes people just don’t talk to him, or they do it real slow, like they’re talking to a baby. But he just can’t speak. That doesn’t mean he’s stupid or he can’t understand us.

When we have all the food we need we turn back and we pick up some flowers on the other side of the street. Arthur is holding six bags at once and he’s making funny faces at me and I laugh. Mama, Ellen and Jody get everything in the car and we’re about to get in ourselves when we hear mean laughter behind us and we turn around.

Three demons are coming toward us, looking drunk and dragging a woman – a slave, I notice – by her hair behind them. Mama rolls back my sleeve so that the Master’s tattoo will show. All slaves have tattoos. They’re not actually made of ink, but they’re marks who let people know who we belong to so that no one will try anything against us when we go out, or we don’t get kidnapped and sell again.

“Look at what we have here…” The tallest one says.

He seems to be their leader, I think. I don’t know what they want with us but I’m really scared. I hate demons. I hide behind Arthur and take a hold of Mama’s dress. Their slave whimpers and one of them force her on her knees.

“We don’t want any trouble.” Ellen says. She looks angry but I can see she’s trying to stay calm. “We’ve been sent here by our Master. We can show you our papers if you’d li-“

The tall one grabs her by the throat with a devious smile on his face and he stares at her tattoo. He snorts and his smile widen.

I look around. We’re not the only ones in the parking lot. The people who just parked stay in their car. Those who are walking either hurry toward their own or turn around. They all pretend they haven’t seen us. No one is going to help us, I realize. Mama puts her hand on my shoulder and comes to stand in front of me.

“I don’t give a shit about your papers, slave. I just want to have some fun. So you’re going to follow me in that street over there and you’re going to get on your knees and do what you’re fucking told, understood?”

Ellen doesn’t nod, she doesn’t try to speak. She doesn’t seem to be able to. Her face is getting blue.

“You can’t force us to do anything without our Master’s approval. Let her go.” Jody comes in.

She’s angry too, but she looks determined. The demon shrugs and sigh.

“Right.” He says.

All I hear is a big, crunchy noise and Mama gasps. I look at her and I see she’s covering her mouth with her hand and there are tears in her eyes. Something falls on the floor and I try to see what it is. It’s Ellen. Her head is all wrong. She’s lying on her belly but her head is facing us. There’s blood on the floor.

I don’t know what to think.

The demon grabs Mama by an arm and pulls her against him with his arm on her throat. She lets go of me.

“MAMA!!” I scream.

I try to take a hold of her again but Arthur pushes me back behind him and raises his fist to punch one of the other demon in the face. The other demon just raises his hand and Arthur is lifted from the floor and thrown back on it. Jody is screaming too. I just stare. I don’t know what to do. My heart is beating so fast I feel like it’s punching my guts and I want to throw up. The demon keeps smashing Arthur on the floor, lifting him up again and smashing him against the hard concrete floor. It makes weird noises and Arthur stops trying to fight it. He just bounces on the floor.

“STOP IT! STOP IT! SOMEONE HELP US!” Jody yells, trying to get people’s attention.

But the third demon slaps her so hard she falls. I think she fainted. I don’t know. I feel something splashing on me, like water but thicker. I touch my face and look at my fingers. It’s blood. I realize my hands are shaking and I look around. It’s Arthur’s blood, I’m sure of it. He has no face anymore. I think something exploded. I look at Mama. I don’t feel like crying. I don’t feel like I’m scared. I just don’t know. She’s mouthing something at me, but my brain isn’t working anymore. I’m just looking at her, mouth open in disbelief, wide eyed.

“Don’t worry little girl, I’ll take care of your mommy here, and then it’ll be your turn!” The tall one says.

The other ones all laugh. I can’t stop looking at Mama. ‘Run’, she’s saying. ‘Run’, again and again and again. The tall one put his hand on my cheek and pinches it but I turn my head all of a sudden and bit him. He wasn’t expecting it and he takes a step back, surprised.

“You little bitch!”

I feel like I’m paralyzed. My brain isn’t working. Or it’s working too fast. I look at Mama again. ‘Run’ she tries again. She’s crying and she’s struggling for breath.

And suddenly my legs start moving, I’m not even sure I’m doing it. It’s like my brain and my body are two different things. I run and run and I hear one of the demon laugh, I don’t turn around to see which one. I run so fast I can’t breathe anymore and my legs are on fire but I keep going. When I feel like I’m about to faint I hide between two building, in a very narrow passage way, and I wait. My heart hammers in my chest, the only things I can hear are my heavy breathing and my blood pumping in my body, the sound of it ringing loud in my hears.

I finally find the courage to have a look around. I only take a peek at the streets behind me, but nobody’s looking for me. There are some people in the street of course, but no signs of the demons. I feel panic coming now, it’s like something is stuck in my throat and it blocks the air. I slide on the floor, my back against the wall. I don’t know what to do. I try to breathe but I can’t. I don’t want to die. I need to save Mama.

I look at the wall in front of me. Something is written on it. I can’t read it. I don’t think my brain is working anymore. I know I can read but I can’t tell what it says. The alley is cool because the sun doesn’t reach in between the buildings here. It’s kind of dirty though. There’s an empty pack of cigarettes in front of me. I stare at it and I try to breathe.

I need to tell the Master. I think that’s why Mama told me to run. He’s an angel, he has powers. He’s strong because he’s high ranked and he likes me so I’m sure he’ll save Mama. He likes Arthur too. But I think Arthur’s dead. I hope the Master won’t get too mad.

It takes me three tries to finally get up and I start to run again. I know the road by heart because I love to come to the market. I know where I’m going. I run and I run and I run and I promise myself I won’t stop until I find the Master.

~*~

I probably fainted. It’s the first thing I think about when I open my eyes again. I don’t remember what happened between the moment I started to run again and now. Someone is here with me.

“OVER HERE!” The person yells.

I try to see who it is but it’s night, so I can’t see his face properly. I only know it’s a man. I feel like I should recognize the voice, but I can’t. I hear some footsteps and two other people appear above me. I try to speak but my throat is really dry and I can only cough. Nothing comes out. I feel like I’m choking again and I panic.

“Hey! Hey, Jordan, it’s me. It’s Ben, it’s me. I’m here, it’s okay, just breathe.”

He pulls me up until I’m half sitting and he holds me in his arms. He rocks me in his arms, back and forth, until I cough again and I feel the air coming back into my lungs.

It’s night. We were supposed to organize the party. I’m pretty sure the Master is mad at us now.

“What happened? Where are the others?” Another man asks.

I look up and I see it’s Bobby. Ellen is dead. I don’t know about Jody. Lord. Ellen is dead. And Arthur too. I’ll never see them again. I don’t know how to feel, and all of a sudden my head starts to spin.

I just have the time to push Ben away before I throw up. It burns my throat. I haven’t eaten since this morning. My stomach spasms and it hurts. I want it to stop doing that but it doesn’t. Something tries to get out of my stomach but there’s no food anymore. It’s just bile, and it burns.

I feel my eyes roll into the back of my head and then everything goes black.

~*~

I blink a few times. At first everything is blurry but as I wake up again I start to see shapes and shadows.

“Hey Kiddo.” Someone whispers.

I blink again because I can’t see the face that’s staring at me. I feel two fingers on my forehead. A shiver runs down my body and suddenly my head is clear. I can see everything, I can think. My throat isn’t dry anymore, the dizziness is gone. And I remember.

The Master is looking at me and he’s frowning. We’re in his study and I’m lying on his couch. He’s Kneeling in front of it.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Automatically I nod right away. But the truth is, I don’t really know. I don’t think I am. I change my mind and shake my head ‘no’. I think about the noise Ellen’s neck made when it broke and I feel like throwing up again. I can’t look at him. I turn my head and see a little statue on his desk. From where I lie it looks like a man holding a woman in his arms. I stare at it. There’s no noise in the house. Everything is dark in here because the Master doesn’t like ceiling lights so he has lots of little lamps scattered around the mansion. I’m grateful for that right now. I feel comfortable in the near darkness.

“Can you tell me what happened? Where are the others?”

He sounds concerned. I don’t want to look at his face. He’s probably mad that we ruined the food. I’m just thinking about that now. We’ll have to go get some again. The party is tomorrow. There’s just Lisa now. She won’t be able to cook everything.

“Look at me.” He orders.

I do because I don’t want to get a beating. I just can’t make my face react. I just look. I’m so tired.

“What happened?” He says again, this time more forcefully.

I stare into his eyes for a few seconds. They’re kind of hypnotizing. They have bits of gold in them. I think it’s the Master’s grace showing through his vessel’s eyes.

“Ellen and Arthur are dead.” I say.

I feel a lump forming in my throat. Saying it makes it real. His eyes widen and he suddenly looks distressed.

“What? How?”

“Demons attacked us. Ellen told them they couldn’t touch us but they did anyway, even when they saw our marks. They broke Ellen’s neck and they smashed Arthur on the floor until he stopped moving.”

I’m still looking at him and the words come out of my mouth but I can’t find the strength to put fear or sadness into my voice. I just say it, as fast as I can. I can see everything again as if it’s happening in front of my eyes so I just hurry. If I go fast enough maybe I won’t remember.

He frowns harder and runs a hand through his hair.

“One of them slapped Jody and she fell.” I go on. “They took Mama. They said they were going to take care of her and then it would be my turn. That’s what he said. The demon.”

The lump in my throat grows. They have Mama. I hope she’s okay.

“They took Mama.” I repeat.

And I feel a tear run down my cheek. It’s funny because I didn’t move my face. It just fell. I don’t feel sad or scared. I don’t feel anything. It’s weird. He looks around, as if he’s looking for something, but I’m not sure he knows what. Then his eyes find mine again and he covers his mouth with one hand, rubbing at his chin.

“Do you know who they were? The demons? Did you see something, or heard something?”

I shake my head ‘no’. I don’t know anything. I want to tell him to leave me alone but I can’t do that. He’s my Master.

He looks at all the dry blood on my shirt and doesn’t say anything. He sighs.

There’s a knock at the door and it makes him jump a little. He goes to open it but he keeps it half-closed so I can’t see who’s talking to him. He doesn’t answer, he doesn’t move for a while. I can only see his back. Am I allowed to sleep? I would love to just close my eyes. I’m tired. I just want them to find Mama.

When he turns around there’s no expression on his face. He comes back next to me but he stays standing this time. I look up to him and I wait. He sighs again and finally he looks at me. It makes me uncomfortable so I try to look away. The door is still open and I see Bobby has come in too but he’s staying away. His eyes are red. I look at the Master again.

He’s still silent so I push myself up until I’m sitting, my legs tucked at my side. He crouches down then and put a hand on my knee. This is what people do when they’re about to tell you something bad happened, isn’t it? My heart starts beating faster.

I shook my head ‘no’ again and again but he still opens his mouth. I don’t want to know.

“They found them…” He starts. I feel the panic coming back.

“No.” I say.

Because I’m scared I know what he’s going to say. I don’t want to hear it. Hearing it makes it real. He furrows his brows in sadness and he strokes my knee.

“Jody, Ellen, Arthur and your Mom.” I feel a whimper coming out of my throat. “I’m sorry, Jordan.”

The lump in my throat is back, it’s so big I feel like I’m going to throw up.

“Please…” I beg. And it comes out as half a sob.

“They’re all dead.”

He says it with pity in his voice. And it’s real. They’re dead. Mama too. She’s on the list. Mama’s dead. I close my eyes and my face breaks. I can’t hold it in anymore so I just cover my eyes with my hands.

He sounded sad when he said it and it makes me angry. Mama told me everything. She told me he said he would protect her after he bought her. He said no demon would harm her ever again. But now she’s gone. I’ll never see her again. I don’t know what I want to do. I feel like crying, screaming. I want it to go away, I want to forget everything. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

He’s still stroking my knee. I want to take his hand and break it in half.

I look up. He cocks his head on the side as if he’s trying to figure out what I’m thinking. I feel the tears running down my cheeks, my nose is running too but I don’t care. I can’t help sobbing but I try to show him how angry I am.

“You s-said she wou-would be safe!”

He closes his eyes, looking pained, and opens them again.

“I know.” He just says.

He’s so quiet. Why is he so quiet? I hate him. I thought he liked me. If he did he would have done something.

“Bring them back.” I say.

He has to. He can, he’s an angel. I know he can.

“I can’t, I’m sorry.”

I get up and try to stand as far away from him as I can but he turns and just walks up to me. I don’t want him to. I keep walking backward until I feel my back hit the desk. I close my fists and I squeeze until my palms hurt so much I almost can’t feel them anymore.

“You’re ly-lying” I try.

I’m so furious. Why isn’t he doing anything? He said she would be safe from demons!

He looks like the Master again now. No expression on his face, standing taller than he was a few seconds before. Maybe he’s going to beat me. I don’t care. I don’t care I just want everything to go away. I want him to beat me so I won’t wake up. When he’s really close to me I can’t look into his eyes anymore. I look at his chest.

I hit him once with the flat side of my fist. It hurts but I don’t care. I raise my other hand and I hit again.

“You’re lying!” I say, louder.

And I hit him again and again with both my fists and it feels good and I can’t stop. I can’t see anything anymore because there are too many tears in my eyes. I feel a scream coming out of my mouth, I don’t feel like it’s my body anymore.

Suddenly he grabs my arms and pushes them behind me so I can’t move. This is it, he’s going to hit me now. I let go of everything and I go limp in his arms. I’m panting really hard and I’m starting to choke again because I’m crying too much. I’m struggling to breathe and my throat is making a weird noise. I see little black sparkles fly everywhere I look. I can’t breathe.

I look up, and I know I look scared because I have no air and that’s not how I want to die. He’s staring at me and the only sounds in the room are those I’m making while trying to take a breath. I can’t, and I’m dizzy now.

He lets go of one of my arm and I almost fall but he holds me up. I see him raise his arm and he holds out two fingers. Slowly he gets them close to my forehead. I keep looking at him. When he touches me everything goes black again.

~*~

I’m in my bed. Someone must have carried me there. I turn on my back and I look at the ceiling. I don’t know what day it is, and I don’t think I want to know. I blink a few times and I turn my head towards Mama’s bed. She’s not in it. Must be Sunday then. She usually lets me sleep on Sunday. She’s probably making breakfast.

Except I know she’s not. I frown. And it hits me.

She’s not here anymore because she’s dead.

I feel the tears coming again but I’m so tired. I don’t want to cry but I do. I try to keep as silent as I can and I push myself up and I climb on Mama’s bed. Nobody’s here, so I can do what I want. The women have their room, and the men have theirs. Only Mrs. Herbert has her own room. I guess it’s because she’s been here for a long while and she helps the Master a lot. I can stay into the women’s room because I’m still a child.

The pillow smells like Mama. It smells of laundry detergent and cinnamon. The Master loves everything sugary and especially Mama’s special apple pie. She puts a lot of cinnamon in it and she bakes one every day so she always smells like it. Or she did. She’s not here anymore, so she won’t make it again.

I hide my face into the pillow and I let it all out. I don’t care if I’m loud. Mama’s dead. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to be with her. I’m all alone now and I’m scared. What am I going to do? Mrs. Herbert doesn’t like me, she’ll probably tell the Master he ought to sell me. I don’t do much here. I have chores but I’m pretty sure someone else could do them better and do a lot more than I do. And if he sells me he won’t have to pay for school anymore.

I cry and cry until I’m too tired to even move and there’s no tears in me anymore. I just lie there, surrounded by Mama’s smell, turning my back on the door, my knees up against my chest, looking straight at the wall.

I’m about to fall asleep when someone knocks at the door. I don’t turn around. I don’t want to see anybody. But then I remember what I did before I fell asleep and I’m suddenly scared. I hit Master Gabriel. I hit him. I was so angry at him but now I’m just scared. I don’t want to see him.

There’s a knock again but I don’t answer. He wouldn’t come here, at least. He never did. But maybe he sent someone to fetch me and punish me. I hear the door open and I try to stay as still as I can.

“Jordan? Are you awake?”

It’s Mrs. Herbert’s voice. I’m so surprised I turn around right away. She never comes here either. And she’s never called me by my name before. I just look at her and I wait. I don’t have the strength to hear her yell at me today. I hope she’ll leave me alone.

She comes close to me and sits on the bed.

“Are you okay?” She asks.

And she looks concerned. This is really weird. I nod anyway. If she sees I don’t need help she’ll leave. She’s probably here because she has no other choice anyway. After all part of her job is to take care of us and make sure we’re not being difficult. She sighs.

“Master Gabriel wants to see you.” She starts. I feel my hands are starting to shake. “But if you don’t feel like it it can wait.”

She’s being so nice. She’s not mocking me. It’s so weird it’s feels like I’m dreaming and I don’t really like it.

“Why are you so nice to me?” I try.

It comes out as a whisper. My throat is dry. I’m thirsty all of a sudden. She looks surprised.

“I know we don’t always get along but…” She trails off.

But Mama’s dead, that’s what she wants to say.

“You hate me.” I say.

She looks pained at that. “No, child. I don’t… I know I’m a bit harsh sometimes but I don’t hate you, what makes you think that? You know it’s my job to keep all of you in line so I have to be firm sometimes but… I don’t hate anyone. You understand that?”

I don’t. She sure looked like she was doing everything she could to make my life difficult all these years. I frown.

“I have to be respected, that’s all.” She adds. “I’m responsible for you all. All of you, I’ve been here for a long time now and you’re all like my own children. I’ve seen you grow up. I took care of you when your Mom was sick. I can’t hate you. Especially now that they’re…”

I see tears coming up in her eyes and she looks away.

“But you’re mean all the time and you call me ‘boy’ even now that the Master said it was okay for me to be a girl.”

I want it to come out as angry but I don’t have the strength anymore. Seeing her near to tears, I think I’m starting to believe her.

“But you _are_ a boy, Jordan. And it’s all nice here, and you’re still young so nobody cares but what will happen when you’ll grow up? You’ll look like a man, whether you like it or not. You’ll have to do a man’s job. Do you think the Master will be so nice to you once you’re all grown up? What do you think he’ll do? You’ll get beat up every time you’ll try to get out there in the street, people will call you a freak and they’ll make your life a living hell. I know you’ll grow up to be a nice looking young man, and I’ve been serving the Master since I’m a little girl, I know him. I know what will likely happen once you’re old enough to…”

She stops herself, putting her hand in front of her mouth. She looks frustrated and sad and there’s a tear slowly running down her cheek.

“I won’t be a pleasure slave, the Master likes me but not like that.” I say.

I’m a bit shocked. I can’t believe what she’s implying.

“I’ve been living with him for fifty years, honey. Why do you think he talks to you so much?”

I don’t answer. I don’t want to believe her. And this is kind of a gross thing to think about.

“I don’t care.” I say after a while. “He’s going to sell me anyway.”

I try to sound like it’s not a big deal but I’m not sure I succeed. She pats my shoulder.

“He has no reason to. I only saw him sell someone once, and it was to his brother. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“But I hit him. I yelled at him. I’m a bad slave. And now that Mama’s gone I’m useless.”

I don’t want her to see that I’m scared but I can’t help it. I start shaking again and my throat suddenly feels really dry.

She just sighs and pulled me up until I’m sitting properly.

“Don’t be daft. Now will you come with me or not?”

She’s using her mean tone again but oddly it doesn’t sound like she’s mocking me anymore. I think she just wants me to behave properly so that everything comes back to normal. I’m not sure I can, though. Mama’s dead, so what’s the point? But I nod anyway. I don’t want to be sold. I don’t want to end up with a demon Master. I shiver at the thought.

“Come on.” She urges.

She stands up and I follow.

~*~

The Master hasn’t sold me. He just stood behind his desk the whole time I was there. He didn’t make me look into his eyes like he usually does. So I looked at the floor the whole time, like a proper slave, and I listened to him. He gave me a lecture about proper behaviors, and by the end of it he told me he understood my grief but that I should remember my place next time. He said I was free to mourn Mama for a few days, at least until the funeral.

I asked Mrs. Herbert about it. She said Master Gabriel was one of the rare Masters who held funeral for his deceased slaves. I know every human as to be cremated because of all the demons that could possess them, but he still holds a sort of ceremony, and that’s nice of him.

We did it at night, behind the house. Not far away from the mansion, but far enough that it wouldn’t burn it down or allow the smell of burnt flesh inside. The Master didn’t come but I’m pretty sure he watched from his bedroom window. Mama looked like she was asleep. I think someone healed her. I heard some of Master Castiel’s slaves who helped look for her say that she was so bruised that even Bobby had a hard time recognizing her. I tried to picture it but I couldn’t. Mama’s always been the prettiest woman I know. I can’t imagine her face without the smile she always bear. I can’t see her beautiful blond hair with blood in it. Her eyes were really blue and I can’t picture them any other way.

When they set fire to her I cried. I felt like it was all wrong. I felt like it was erasing her somehow. But I know her soul is going to heaven, so I didn’t move. I didn’t want to make a fuss. I didn’t want to be sold.

A week after that Mrs. Herbert tells us the Master has bought new slaves. Not a lot, just enough to replace Mama, Jody, Ellen and Arthur. So there are three women and a man. The Master has gathered us all outside, behind the house next to the big willow tree and we’re facing the four strangers.

I can’t help but hate them. I don’t want anyone to replace Mama or the others. Nobody will be as funny as Arthur. Nobody will be as strong as Ellen. Nobody will be as smart as Jody. Nobody will be as beautiful and thoughtful as Mama. They all look so dull. I hate them.

I don’t even notice I’m staring angrily at them until the Master opens his mouth.

“What’s the death glare for, Kiddo?”

I blink and I look up. He’s right next to me. We haven’t spoken since he lectured me. I don’t have time to apologize though. He puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me close to him.

He smells like laundry detergent and cinnamon.

I relax a little and I try to look like I don’t even care. The women all look at the floor, hands behind their back, like we’re taught to stand in front of our Master. The man stands all wrong. He’s not holding his back as straight as he should. His hands are at his side with his fist tightened so hard his knuckles have turned white. He looks pretty angry. And he’s staring right into the Master’s eyes.

Master Gabriel keeps his hand on my shoulder and he sighs. He turns his head to look at me so I look up again.

“This one is a bit wild, don’t you think?” He asks, pointing at the man.

I look at the slave and I nod. He looks angrier and grit his teeth. The Master let’s go of me and walks toward the new slaves. He stops in front of the first woman on the right and turns around.

“Come on. They’re not going to bite!” He tells me, a playful smile on his face.

I don’t know why he’s talking to me again all of a sudden. Maybe he forgave me. Maybe he’s just nice because of Mama. I don’t mind right now, I like it when he talks to me.

I run toward him and stop at his side.

“Okay, Kiddo, we’re conducting an interview here. So you’re going to ask them a few questions, and they’ll answer you, and we’ll see if you’re satisfied. Is that okay with you?”

I give him a questioning look. “Me?”

He nods. “I don’t want you to throw a fit again.” He says, and he winks.

He doesn’t look angry but I still feel panic rise up again and my throat tighten. 

“Don’t look so scared. Go on!”

I nod. “Yes Master.”

I look at the first woman but I can’t think of a single thing to ask. She has red hair like mine and she’s pretty. Her face is friendly and open, it makes me feel safer to be close to her.

“Here, I’ll help you.” Master Gabriel says when he sees I’m not going to open my mouth. “What’s your name?” He asks the woman.

“Charlie, Master.” She says.

I like that name. It could be a boy’s name or a girl’s name. Just like mine.

“That’s a beautiful name.” He goes on and turns to me. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s pretty too.”

He smiles.

“Alright then, ask something. Anything. What would you want to know about her?”

I try to think about it but I don’t really know. She’s really pretty and she smiles at me. I’m sure that if the Master liked girls he would like her. She probably has had lots of men in her life.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I ask.

That’s the only thing that comes to my mind. I try to give the Master a side way look to see if it’s okay. He smiles again so I assume it is.

She looks uncomfortable all of a sudden and looks at the woman next to her. She’s beautiful too. Her skin is really tanned and it makes her look like she glows. She has very long black hair that she tied into a braid.

“Answer the girl.” The Master tells Charlie gently.

She looks back at me with a small smile.

“No, I don’t.” She just says.

“Why?”

She looked at the other woman again then back at me.

“Because I have a girlfriend.” She says.

She avoids the Master’s eyes. Maybe she thinks he won’t be happy about it. But I don’t see why not. She keeps glancing at the other woman.

“Are you together?” I ask, looking at them both.

It’s like I can’t stop asking now. She’s interesting. And it’s fun. Charlie nods. So I turn to the other woman.

“What’s your name?”

“Gilda.” She whispers.

She looks very shy and scared all of a sudden. Their former Master probably didn’t like that they were together. I turn to the Master.

“Master, you don’t mind, do you?”

I ask because I want her to know it’s okay. I don’t want her to be scared. Master Gabriel is good.

He laughs and pats me on the head.

“You know I don’t, kiddo. And don’t you think I do my research properly before buying my slaves?”

Charlie looks at him, looking like she wants to ask a question. She’s probably wondering if he’s serious. He smiles at her before turning away.

“What’s your name?” He asks the third woman.

She’s blond and she kind of looks like Mama a bit. It hurts to think about that. I don’t want Mama to look at me from heaven and think I’m replacing her. I try to get the thought out of my head and I get closer to the Master.

“Jessica, Master.” She says.

Her voice is clear and loud. She’s standing really straight, but it doesn’t look like she’s angry or anything. She seems interesting. And she’s beautiful too. I wonder if the Master chose them for their looks. Maybe he likes having beautiful slaves, even if they’re not pleasure slaves. Maybe the Master also likes women sometimes? I don’t really know what to think about that, it’s kind of something a grown up would know. I don’t want to think about it anyway. Thinking about sex grosses me out a bit.

I can’t think of something to ask. I’m thinking about Mama now and I can’t stop. I want to touch her hair, see if it feels as soft as Mama’s hair did.

The Master puts his hand on my shoulder again and squeezes.

“She kinda looks like your Mom, don’t you think?” He half whispers.

I nod and I feel like crying again. But I won’t. I promised myself I won’t cry anymore because I don’t want the Master to think I’m a baby.

“It’s okay, kiddo. Come on, ask something.”

She looks at me and she smiles. Her smile is nice, reassuring and it warms my heart even if it makes me sad at the same time.

“Do you read?” I ask her.

She nods.

“What are your favorite books about?”

Her smile widen.

“I like books about medicine.”

I frown. “They’re complicated.”

“Doesn’t mean they’re not interesting.” She replies.

She seems very smart. I wouldn’t be able to read books about science I think. I’ve seen one once and they were lots of numbers and letters that didn’t make any sense. I smile back because I don’t know what else to say. The Master notices and he pushes me toward the man.

He’s still looking at the Master with an angry look but I think now there’s a bit of disgust in his eyes. He’s intriguing. I wonder why he looks so angry.

“What’s your name?” I ask.

I want him to look away from the Master. I don’t like the way he looks at him, like he’s going to hurt him. But he keeps staring at Master Gabriel.

“Dean.” He says, and he doesn’t even look at me.

I look up to the Master and give him an interrogating look. I don’t feel like talking to this Dean. He’s rude. The Master smiles at me.

“He’s not happy because he hasn’t been a slave for long.” He tells me like Dean isn’t even here.

He makes it look like he’s telling me a big secret but I know everyone can hear him. I look back at Dean.

“Really? You’re a free man?” I ask.

And I’m really impressed because I never met one before. Now I want to ask a ton of questions.

“Was, kiddo. He was a free man. He’s done some bad things but he thinks he should have gotten away with them.”

Now the Master sounds like he’s mocking him. Dean looks really unhappy and mad.

“What did you do?” I ask Dean.

I wonder what free men have to do to become slaves again. He finally looks at me but it feels like he doesn’t really want to talk to me.

“I killed some demons.” He says with a smile. But I can see it’s a fake smile. It’s like he’s laughing at me.

“And some angels too.” The Master adds.

“Oh.” I say.

I take a step back. I want the Master to stay away from that man. I don’t want him to die too. Dean isn’t smiling anymore and he’s looking at Master Gabriel again. The Master just holds me close to him and strokes my arm gently.

“And now he’s not happy about his punishment. I guess we’ll have to teach him how to behave like a proper slave.”

I nod. His stance is all wrong. I want to take his hands and push them behind his back. If Mama saw this she would probably think the same. I don’t know what it’s like to be a free human and I’m a little mad at him for having ruined his freedom. I’m not jealous or anything because the Master is really good to us and I heard that most free men are poor and are struggling to live a good life because nobody likes them.

Dean lower his gaze slowly and his eyes find the Master’s hand on my shoulder. He smirks.

“Didn’t know they could start whoring that young.” He says, matter-of-factly.

I hear Mrs. Herbert gasp behind us and the Master raises his hand to silently tell her to stay where she is. I don’t want to let him know I know what Dean means but I can’t help but blush really hard.

Why is everyone thinking the Master would want me to be his pleasure slave?

The Master lets go of me and takes a step forward, putting himself between Dean and me. He’s smiling dangerously now. Dean holds his gaze and suddenly the Master’s hand shoots up in the hair and grabs him by the throat. Dean is on his knees before I have the time to realize what happened.

The Master is still smiling in that weird, scary way. I can see that Dean is struggling to breathe. His eyes are opened wide and his face goes a little red. His hands are desperately clutching the Master’s forearm as he tries to pull himself away. It’s not working. The Master is strong.

“Listen to me, you little piece of shit. You’re here for a reason. You can deem yourself lucky I’m the one who bought you. I’m willing to forget that you killed some of my kind before, and hell, I can even pretend I forgot everything you did to Ana. But don’t you try to spread those kind of bullshit ever again, you hear me? Don’t you try hurting the kid to get through me because A) it won’t make me get rid of you, and B) it’ll just piss me off real bad, and you don’t want to see me pissed, I guarantee it. Is that understood?”

Dean just keeps staring at him the whole time the Master speaks but now he looks more scared than angry. He doesn’t try to answer, though.

“Is. That. Understood?” The Master says again.

Finally, very slowly, Dean opens his mouth.

“Y-yes.” He manages.

The Master lets go of him and Dean takes a huge breath.

“Yes who?” The Master goes on, bending over him in a menacing way.

Dean looks up from where he’s kneeling. He pants really hard and the anger is back in his eyes. His mouth tightens in a thin line and he seems to hesitate for a second.

“Yes _Master_.” He spits.

“That right, your Master. That’s what I am. You’re a slave. And it’s your fault. Get used to it because you’re here for life.”

Master Gabriel straightens up then, gives Dean one last look and walks away. He extends his arm behind him, inviting me to come with him so I do. I keep watching Dean until we are safely inside the house though.

I don’t like it. I’ve never seen the Master so angry before. I hope Dean won’t be too bad.

 

 


	2. Learn your lessons

Dean spends his first morning with the little girl. She doesn’t talk to him. She seems rather angry but it’s not like he gives a shit. He hates being here. He hates the mansion, he hates the other slaves, and he’s not particularly fond of her too. She seems to think all that shit is natural. Like she belongs here, and doing everything that smartass Archangel says is perfectly normal and everything is right in the world.

She doesn’t know what it’s like to have your freedom taken from you. She probably never knew what freedom feels like in the first place.

They’re making him do everything she does. The Archangel probably thought it would be funny. She’s the one who has to tell him what he has to do and Dean hates it. Being taught how to peel potatoes from a fucking twelve years old. Fucking perfect.

He’s angrily filling his second bucket of peeled potatoes when she suddenly stops and stares at him. He pretends he doesn’t see and stands up to fetch an empty bucket.

When he comes back into the kitchen she’s still staring and she keeps looking as he sits back on his chair.

“What?” He asks.

It’s making him nervous. He hates when people stare. He doesn’t like being the center of attention.

“Why don’t you like Master Gabriel?”

He blinks at her. She probably thinks the Archangel is the best in the whole word because he’s doing all sorts of inappropriate touching on her and he told her it was okay or something. God, Dean hates those kind of assholes.

“Why do you like him so much?” He answers.

He doesn’t want to talk about it, especially to a child. He doesn’t want to tell her Sammy’s probably dead because he failed to protect him and now he’s here and he can’t do anything about it.

She grabs a potatoe and starts working on it again.

“Because he’s a nice Master and he helps me feel real.” She just says.

She seems convinced the sun shines out of the Archangel’s ass. Like any of those angels SOBs could be good people.

“He helps you feel real? What does that even mean?”

As soon as he asks he gets the feeling it’s not something he particularly wants to hear. It probably has to do with the guy’s pedophiliac tendencies. She hesitates and he starts to feel sick in anticipation.

“I don’t like to talk about it but you’re here now so you’ll probably hear stuff about me anyway…” She says. He braces himself. “I’m not a real girl. I have boy bits. But I don’t feel like one.” She’s avoiding his eyes now. “But the Master doesn’t care, he allows me to be a girl and I’m happy now.”

Oh. Okay. He’s never met a transgender person that young before. He doesn’t say anything and just nods.

“You think I’m a freak now…” She goes on.

Her words echo in his head. It sounds like his brother’s voice.

“No! Of course not!”

She gives him a sideway look for a second and keeps on working.

“Everybody thinks I’m weird. I know I’m not normal so you don’t have to pretend.”

“I’m not pretending. I’ve met people like you before.” He says, casually.

She looks like it’s Christmas all of a sudden. He can see she wants to say something but they’re interrupted but the old hag who’s like the slaves’ chief of staff or something. He’s never been interested in slave houses hierarchy before. Sam is the one with the brain, not him.

She looks at the two big buckets filled with peeled potatoes and she sighs.

“Don’t you think it’s enough already?” She looks at Dean like he’s retarded and she turns to the kid. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

The girl shrugs. Right. Now he feels stupid.

“Alright then…” The old slave says. He doesn’t like her. She looks so full of herself. He wonders if the Archangel fucked her too when she was young. “Jordan, you go to school. You, follow me!”

The little girl saunters happily out of the room and so he has no choice but to do what he’s told. He walks behind the old slave as they exit the house and he’s suddenly blinded by the bright morning sun. When he can see something again she’s already a few feet away and he has to run to catch up with her.

“There.” She says, pointing at a basket full of laundry. “You hang them here. When you’re done with this one there’s two others waiting for you in the laundry room.”

He raises an eyebrow at her.

“Uh, Lady, I’m not a maid. You hang your own laundry.”

“I’m Mrs. Herbert to you, boy. And no, you’re not a maid. You’re a house slave for now, so you do what I tell you to do and you shut your mouth about it.” She snaps at him, hands on her hips.

She’s really something, he thinks.

“Or what? Master’s going to punish me, is that it? Or is he too busy screwing little girls?”

She looks angry but she doesn’t yell.

“Stop talking about what you don’t know and start working.”

He doesn’t feel like fighting right now so he doesn’t reply. He looks at the laundry basket and sigh.

“Here, I’ll show you.” She says.

She takes a damp shirt and she hangs it on the wire in front of them. All he can think about is that they should really buy a clothes dryer or two.

They hang up the laundry together in silence for a while. He wants to know more about that Archangel guy. Anything is useful when you’re a Hunter. Dean could use this to his advantage later if he manages to escape. The angel’s mark on his arm will probably be a pain to take off though.

“So… No disrespect or anything but, what? Is the little girl and the Big Boss… You know…” He starts.

That’s the kind of crunchy information that could get even the most powerful of angels down. So he needs to be sure, just in case.

She gives him an annoyed look but she seems to acknowledge that he’s not being a dick anymore.

“No, Master Gabriel isn’t using Jordan that way. He might when he’ll be a grown man, though.”

“A grown woman you mean.”

She looks straight ahead. “Don’t encourage Jordan, Dean. He’s never going to be what he wants to be and we need him to get used to it or else he’s going to live a very miserable life.”

“I’ve known plenty of people who live like she does. Didn’t look miserable to me.”

He’s going faster now. Hanging laundry is okay. It’s not too tiring and at least he’s outside.

“Well, he’s a slave so he won’t have the chances the free men get. He’ll probably end up being a pleasure slave anyway. The sooner he gets used to his body, the better.”

She grits her teeth like it’s painful to say all this and he can see her shoulders tense. She doesn’t like talking about it.

“So the Master is into dudes, uh?”

She rolls her eyes. She probably doesn’t like his language. But he doesn’t care. It’s the only thing he got for himself, and he sure as hell won’t pretend he’s got a stick up his ass for the benefit of some asshole angel.

“Yes.” She starts.

And a little smile appears on her face. He doesn’t like it one bit.

“What?” He asks.

“Well, he sure seems to like you. I’ve never seen him get physical that quick with someone. He likes it when they’re wild.”

He opens his eyes in surprise and a sharp laugh leaves his mouth.

“What? No. No way. I’m not into that kind of stuff.”

She lets go of the sheets she just hang and let her hands fall at her side. She turns to him with a big mocking smile on her face.

“You’re a slave, boy. Nobody’s going to ask if you’re into it or not.”

She pats his shoulder as she walks away and she leaves him here. He shakes what she just told him with a laugh. He hates the Archangel and the Archangel hates him back so nothing like that’s gonna happen. Dean Winchester is not into dicks, thank you very much.

~*~

The first week is okay. But it’s unbearable at the same time. The days are long and tiring and nobody talks to him except for the little girl. She seems to be the only one who forgave him for what he said on the first day. From what Dean understands she’s used to people making that comment at her.

The “Master” is not here often and apparently it’s not common. Jordan says it’s because he’s trying to find who the demons who killed his slaves were but she doesn’t know why and she just assumes it’s because they’re like expensive, precious objects and he’s not happy that someone broke them. Dean rather thinks it’s because there’s something more to it, and that the blow was aimed specifically at the Archangel instead of being just another random incident.

Gabriel is one of those angels who’s very secretive about his work and his place in the hierarchy of Heaven so Dean doesn’t know much about him but he’s pretty sure he’s one of the big player and the demons are probably trying to take him down. He made a mental note to look into it further but so far he hasn’t gotten much. Nobody will let him near the angel’s private quarter (including his study) and he needs to show a bit of faithfulness and servitude, make them believe he accepted his fate so that he can be trusted at least by the slaves.

Gaining the angel’s trust will be more difficult, but he’s thinking about it. He thought a lot about what old Mrs. Herbert said to him and he’s willing to consider if it means getting one step closer to freedom. But so far he’s just considering. He’s not really ready to ‘take one for the team’ just yet.

He gets out of his mind suddenly and realizes he stopped moping the entry hall for a while now and he’s staring blankly at a wall. He blinks a few times and get back to it. They keep giving him house chores. He would love to do something outside other than hanging a shit ton of laundry every day. He saw the other guys work in the fields behind the house or tend to the animals (the angel has chickens, goats and even horses he doesn’t even know why because Dean knows for a fact he goes around by flying or sometimes by car when he feels like it. He doesn’t know what the horses are for. Maybe the angel just thinks they’re nice things to have?), and he would love to do the same. They’re the ones who go into town too now, after what happened to the last slaves.

Obviously they won’t trust him to go into town for a long while. He tested the house’s boundaries on the second day. The mark on his arm is linked with a powerful spell that surrounds the house and he can’t go through it. Like an angelic force field. He asked Jordan about it, she said he has to be allowed to go out. She probably meant the angel has full control over the mark and he can alter it to give people a free pass.

God he hates it that Sammy isn’t here. Dean always lets him do the research when they hunt but now he regrets it. Sam has read so many books about angels and demons and supernatural creatures so many times that sometimes he doesn’t even need to check them out anymore. You just ask him a question and he knows. Dean would have love to know more about that force field spell and angel mark.

But right now there’s nothing he can do about it.

He stops moping when he thinks he’s finished, straightens up and sweep the sweat out of his brow with the back of his hand. He looks around to see if he missed any spot and he realizes he’s stuck into a corner of the room. The floor around him is wet and he can’t walk on it or else he’s gonna have to start again.

He sighs. He’s really not good at this.

The old Herbert harpy chooses this moment to walk in and she looks at him like he’s a dog who just pissed on the floor again.

“What are you doing?” She asks.

She looks so fed up he wonders how she can still sound that patient.

“I… uh. I’m stuck.” He says.

She rolls her eyes.

“Then get out of your corner and mop the stains you make as you go!”

Dean is a bit pissed too. Does she really think he’s that stupid?

“Gee, lady, calm down. Don’t you think I didn’t thought about that?”

“Then don’t stand there looking like an idiot! I don’t want to see you slacking around like that!”

Holy fuck she is annoying.

“I’m not slacking around!”

He decides she’s not worth the argument and he starts walking backward towards her, moping away his foot prints as he goes. He’s half way there when the front door opens and the angel walks in and Dean freezes. The angel stops, startled, and look at them both in turn before a sly smile appears on his face.

Dean just has the time to notice his boots are cover in mud (or is that horse shit?) before the angel starts walking again. He stares at Dean, still smiling, as he moves towards the stairs, and Dean could swear he’s making his steps heavier on purpose so that there’ll be more mud left. He finally looks away when he reaches the stairs and he goes up as If everything was fine.

When he’s gone, Dean turns to Mrs. Herbert.

“Is he serious?”

She’s smiling too and she just shrugs before she leaves. Dean looks around. There’s mud everywhere. He’s gonna have to start all over again and mop the stairs as well.

Seriously. Slavery sucks.

~*~

Dean has to admit the angel is pretty chill with his slaves. Living here, it’s not at all like what he heard slavery was like. It still sucks, and it’s still crap, but at least it’s easier than what Dean had pictured. The other slaves are starting to talk to him more too, now that they saw him talk with old Herbert and little Jordan.

Bobby is his favorite. He’s gruff and he swears a lot but that’s probably why Dean likes him best. He’s one of the oldest slave here too. Not as old as Herbert though. He doesn’t even know how old she is, but she looks like she shouldn’t be walking anymore so he thinks maybe the Archangel helps her a little because even if she’s patronizing she does a lot of work and she’s probably the most useful slave he got.

It’s been two weeks now and he kept doing good work and being nice to everyone and he hopes they’re less suspicious about him now. The angel is around more now too, and that’s a good thing. Dean thinks he’s starting to believe the repentant act he’s pulling. He’s happy about that. The sooner he gets the angel’s trust, the sooner he can be gone.

He’s hanging the laundry (again!!) when he notices something in his peripheral vision and he turns around. His heart almost jumps out of his throat when he sees the angel standing here, hands behind his back, half a feet away from him and he barely holds back a scream.

“Holy hell! Shit! I mean… Sorry! You scared me!” The angel raises an eyebrow at him in that commanding way of his and Dean remembers himself. “…Master.” He adds.

He doesn’t like saying it. He feels a blush coming to his face and he hates it. It’s the most demeaning thing he thinks, in all that slavery shit. Having to call someone else your master, he’ll never get used to it.

The angel finally smiles and Dean allows himself to relax. He needs to pretend he’s getting used to this. It’s survival. There’s nothing shameful about that.

“I hear you’re back on the path of reason.” The angel says.

Dean just nods. The more he can avoid speaking, the less he’ll have to use the M word. He doesn’t know if he should look at him or stare at the floor but he doesn’t feel _that_ obedient yet so he just eyes the angel with a questioning look on his face like he would do with any other person if someone interrupted him in the middle of a task. The angel doesn’t move though, he just stares.

He’s checking him out, Dean realizes. Granted, he said he wasn’t there yet, but at least he tries not to show discomfort just in case he decides to go on this path.

“Is there something you want?” He asks after a while, because it starts to feel awkward.

The angel keeps smiling but raises his chin like he’s waiting for something else. He doesn’t answer. And Dean remembers.

He can’t help but roll his eyes.

“Is there something you want, _Master_?” He sighs.

Really, this is ridiculous. How can you maintain a regular conversation when you have to add a specific word at the end of every sentence? How is that even convenient?

The bastard angel seems to enjoy himself very much.

“I heard you know your way around cars, is that correct?” He asks.

Dean nods.

“Can you work on them, fix them?”

He nods again. He doesn’t where this is going but it sounds like something he would like.

“Use words, Dean. What’s your background? Did you do that often before? I can’t read minds, you know.”

Dean shifts his weight, uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to use the word again.

“I uh… That’s actually what I did for a living before… You know. I worked in a garage.”

“Good.” The angel smiles, and he straightens up. “Come with me then.”

He turns around and doesn’t leave Dean anytime to protest.

“But I’m not done with the-“

The angel waves his concerns away and so he shuts up and follow him up a little trails in the middle of the corn fields. They’re walking toward the barn, or so Dean thinks. He never went there before. He tried but the barn is off limits. There’s a force field a few feet away from it that prevents Dean from going. When they reach the point that Dean can’t cross he stops walking. He doesn’t want to touch it again, thank you very much. The first time was enough. He still has the half-scarred burn on his hand to show for it.

The angel turns around, raising an eyebrow at him.

“What are you waiting for?” He asks, a bit of impatience in his voice.

Dean looks around. He knows the barrier is invisible but he hopes to show what he means.

“I can’t.” He just says.

“Do you think I would let you walk into a repelling spell? This things are dangerous, they could kill you! You really think I want to take another trip to the slave market?”

Dean stares at him for a while, he doesn’t trust the guy but what he says is believable at least. To be honest, he doesn’t know how much slaves cost. He doesn’t even know the price he’s been bought, but he’s ready to bet it’s not cheap. So the angel probably has reasons to keep him safe.

He takes a step forward. Then a second. And a third. He’s past the force field limit and he’s still alive. Nothing burned him to a crisp. He finally looks back at the angel but the guy is already moving on, and Dean has to run again to follow him.

They walk around the barn and Dean sees a little shack there, not too high but rather long and he has to say he’s intrigued. It’s made of wood but it looks resistant. Curious, he stands a few feet away and he waits for the angel to open the door. When he does, he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

“Is that-“

“A 67 Chevrolet Impala, yes. But it doesn’t work. Hasn’t worked for a long time.”

The angel gives him a look that Dean can’t really decipher because he’s too stunned to be able to think clearly.

“You want me to… Fix it?”

He wants it. He wants it so bad. She’s beautiful and even if she needs a lot of work from what he can see he’s sure that he can make her shine like someone had just bought it. The angel clasps his hands behind his back and looks at the car with a self-satisfied smile.

“Hmmm maybe. If you behave. For real.”

He gives Dean a side way glance, and it forces Dean out of his stupor.

“What do you mean?”

The angel looks away and starts walking again, going back to where they came from. He raises his hand and the door closes by itself. He doesn’t say anything until Dean and him have walked past the force field again.

“Don’t try to cross again, you might hurt yourself.” He finally says.

He keeps walking so Dean follows, and he tries to stay behind the guy, even if his pace is a bit slow for Dean’s taste.

“I know what you’re doing, Dean.”

He’s not looking at him as he speaks, but Dean stares. He wants to see what the guy knows.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He answers.

The angel stops, sighs and gives him a thoughtful look, hands still behind his back. He’s trying to look less menacing, Dean supposes. They’re surrounded by corn and nobody can see them, either from the house or the barn. It’s understandable that he wants Dean to be sure he won’t be attacked this time, especially considering what they’re talking about.

“Sure you do. I don’t buy people I don’t know anything about. I do my homework, I know what you did, and I know how you work. You won’t escape, Dean, and the sooner you get that into that thick skull of yours, the easier it’ll be.”

Dean wants to protest, he really does but he can recognize when he’s been uncovered. The guy knows the truth so he has to choose another strategy. Honesty is usually his second best option.

He laughs and looks away, running a hand through his hair.

“You got me.” He keeps smiling smugly as he looks back at the angel. “I’m sorry but I’m not a slave. I’ll never be. I just don’t believe in all that crap.”

The angel smiles at that. He’s not angry. He’s probably glad Dean didn’t try to pretend any further. Dean is counting on that.

“I won’t lick your ass like the others do. I can keep pretending I’m the nice, obedient guy I’ve been for the past two weeks though. Or I can just be myself and be a big pain in your ass. Either way I’ll find something. I won’t stay here forever. Get used to the idea.”

The angel raises his eyebrows.

“Yeah, you will. And I was only warning you. I’m trying to be nice here but I won’t have this argument again.” He smiles at Dean like Dean is just a difficult pet he’s trying to teach a lesson to. “Now get back to work.” He adds.

With that he disappears and Dean is alone and now he’s annoyed. It’s been only two weeks and it felt like years. He really thought he had the guy. And now he has to start all over again. He needs to think of something because he knows he’s not gonna be able to bear this for long. He needs books, for starters. The bastard probably has everything Dean needs in his study.

Fuck that, he thinks. He’s too tired to think about this now. He gets back to his laundry.

He spends the rest of the day thinking about the beautiful car waiting in the shack behind the barn. Fuck that asshole angel if he thinks he’s going to win Dean with this. Fuck him. He won’t bulge.

~*~

Turns out he’s too exhausted to think about anything. His mind keeps wandering, daydreaming about all the things he did with Sammy. All the evenings he came back from the garage, covered in grease but happy and contented, Sam waiting for him with sometimes a hunt or sometimes an old TV show or movie he’d just discovered and that he wanted to show him, always two beers in hands to cheer him up and get him to relax and sometimes he thinks about it so much it feels almost real. But it’s not and it’s unbearable. It hurts in a way he didn’t think was possible until now. Truth is, he doesn’t remember what happened the night he got caught. His last memory of that night is of Sam calling his name, and maybe there was blood, but he’s not sure.

So he tries to think about something else but the only other thing his brain comes up with is the Impala. It reminds him of his old job and he longs for it. He wants to put his hand in it, be covered in grease again and feel that quiet, lazy happiness he’s filled with when he’s working on a car.

But he’s so tired all the time. They finally let him do harder, more masculine jobs and it’s tougher than he thought it would be. They’re doing it on purpose, they keep giving him task after task after task until it’s night and he has no choice but to go to bed because it’s either that or dying on the spot and then the next day he barely has time to get up that they give him another urgent thing to do and really he’s not sure he’s going to hold on for long.

He knows the angel is doing it on purpose so that he’ll give up on his freedom already. But he can’t. He really can’t, and he thinks it’s going to kill him.

But whatever, he won’t bulge. He promised himself he wouldn’t and so he keeps going. Today is Sunday and oddly enough he slept in. Nobody came to wake him up, which is weird. He doesn’t like it.

So he gets up and the first thing he does is find his way to the kitchen, see if he can find some coffee because it’s been a while since he had some and he really misses it. Jordan is here, she’s alone and she’s drinking what looks like hot milk. She smiles at him as he enters but her smile is sad.

“What’s the long face for?” He asks as he opens one of the cupboard door.

He hears her sigh before she answers.

“I was thinking about Mama.” She says, her voice low and sad.

He turns around to give her a sympathetic look or try to come up with something nice but she’s staring straight into her bowl of milk. He goes back to his search for coffee and opens another door.

“You want to talk about it?”

She’s not saying anything but he hears her shift on her chair. He turns again to look at her and wait. She finally looks up and sees the open cupboard doors. She frowns.

“Coffee is right here.”

She indicates a small coffee pot that stands behind her on a counter.

“How do you know I’m looking for coffee? Maybe I’m a tea kind of guy.” He smiles.

“Grown-ups always drink coffee.” She shrugs.

He walks to the coffee pot and pours himself a drink. He hears her stand up and when he goes back to the table she brings him a box with sugar cubes in it and sits back. He sits in front of her.

“Thanks.”

She goes back to staring at her bowl and he leaves her be. She lost her mother not even a month ago, and he knows the feeling. Hell, he stopped talking for a long while when his mother died. She’s tougher than he was.

“Mama baked a pie every day when she was alive. Her clothes always smelled like cinnamon but now I think it’s been too long and the smell is gone.” She whispers.

Her lips tremble a little like she wants to cry but she’s stopping herself. He doesn’t like it when people cry in front of him, especially children. 

“You know that pie is the only thing I can make?”

She raises her head and cork an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not kidding. I can’t even make pastas or eggs but when it comes to pie I’m the expert. What kind of pie did your mom make?”

She hesitates but finally open her mouth.

“Apple pies, mostly.”

“Hey! They’re my favorites! Maybe I can try to bake you one if I find the time.”

“Really?”

She looks hopeful and he’s happy about that.

“Sure. I work a lot these days though. But if I get some free time someday, like maybe an hour or two I’ll do it. I promise.”

She bolts from her chair and almost runs around the table to hug him.

“You’re the best!” She says.

He pats her head and she lets go.

“I can’t wait!” She smiles.

And she sprints away. He laughs at that and shakes his head. He can’t believe how happy she is about this, as if he had offered her the moon. Maybe she is truly content of her life. She only asks for the most simples things and that’s enough to make her happy. Dean briefly wonders if he could get enough from this life before he remembers what he’s told himself countless times.

He can’t stay here. He needs to escape. He needs to find Sammy and he needs his freedom back.

He’ll think about a plan, obviously. Just… Not right now. Right now he drinks his coffee in silence and in peace and it’s the most perfect morning he’s had in a long while.

~*~

That night when he comes back to the house he takes a little detour and goes to knock on Mrs. Herbert’s door. He asks her to wake him up earlier in the morning, and when she asks why he just shrugs and tells her it’s none of her business. She agrees anyway, giving him that exasperate look she always carries around him and he leaves, feeling good about himself.

The next day he curses himself for having the shittiest ideas ever but he still gets up. He hates it that he has a soft spot for children, but at least he has time to drink a coffee or two.

He bakes the apple pie very carefully, sprinkling it with cinnamon before putting it into the oven and he sips at his coffee until the smell of it spreads around and it’s ready. When it is, he leaves it in the middle of the table, covers it with a kitchen cloth and goes to work.

The entire house smells of cinnamon.

~*~

Dean doesn’t see Jordan before the next day. He’s chopping wood (the ‘Master’ wants them to restore the gazebo in the garden that’s on the other side of the house, or something like that. Dean just does as he’s told now, he doesn’t even try to understand anymore) and he’s so focused he doesn’t see she’s here until she gets a couple of feet away from him and starts yelling : “Dean!!”

He almost jumps out of his skin and his grip tightens on the axe he’s holding.

“Shhhhhi- Don’t… Don’t do that when I’m holding something that could chop your head off!!”

She just smiles and rocks on her heels until he puts the axe away.

“What do want?”

She doesn’t answer and hugs him instead. He freezes for a few seconds, arms half-raised, unsure of what to do. She keeps holding him so he hugs back.

“Thank you!” She says.

He can’t find something to say to that so he just pats her head, looking down on her. When it starts to feel awkward he looks up and he takes a breath, ready to tell her to let him work now but he can’t get a word out when he sees that the angel is here, standing a few feet away, hands behind his back and smiling.

“Okay, kid, just… Just… I, uh…”

He’s feeling a blush coming to his cheeks and he pushes her away gently. He can’t look away from _him_.

Jordan lets go of him but she stays close and she sits on the floor, legs cross and she looks up at him. When he see she won’t move and she’s far enough that he won’t accidentally cut off any part of her with his axe he starts working again.

He hears the angel walking to them but he doesn’t acknowledge him. He sits on a small log next to Jordan and they both watch him as he tries to turn the small tree trunk in front of him into something that would look like a pillar. Or something. Victor and Ben showed him but he’s not sure he’s doing things properly.

His back is killing him and it’s hot as fuck out there. He straightens up and pops a button of his shirt open. He would kill to be able to just take it off but once again the angel is here, and he doesn’t want him to think he’s throwing himself at him. The shirt only opens half-way to his torso and it’s clinging to his skin because he’s sweating too much so he pulls it open as far as it’ll go and he starts hitting the tree trunk with his axe again.

“What’s that?” Jordan asks suddenly.

He looks at her and sees she’s pointing at the tattoo on his chest.

“That’s a…” He glances at the angel to see if it’s okay to talk about this. But he just smiles so Dean goes on. “It’s an anti-possession tattoo.”

“You mean you can fight demons with it?”

She looks impressed. He laughs.

“No. Nothing like that. It just keeps any demon from jumping my meat. They can’t possess me, that’s all.”

She gets up and takes a step toward him.

“Can I touch it?”

The angel is still sitting and now he’s looking at them both, chin resting on his hands, looking like he’s watching a very interesting animal documentary.

Dean puts his axe down and tries to wipe the sweat away from his chest.

“Uh, sure.”

She very carefully lifts her arm, her fingers barely graze his skin and she puts her hand away.

“It’s a real tattoo? Like, with ink and everything?”

He nods. She giggles like it’s the most daring thing she’s ever seen.

“That’s so cool!”

“Can _I_ touch it?” the angel says, a smug smile on his face.

Dean tries really hard not to show how embarrassed he is. He almost forgot the guy was sitting here.

“Uh, no offense but-“

“Yeah, not giving you a choice here, Dean-o.” He interrupts as he gets up.

Jordan giggles again and steps away but Dean doesn’t feel like laughing anymore. Damn, the Old Hag was right. The angel truly wants to get in his pants and he doesn’t know how to react to that. He’s thought about it, yeah, but now it feels all too real. And he can’t do anything if the angel decides to order him. He has powers great enough that he could have Dean right here, right now without even lifting a finger.

Dean swallows hard and he waits.

“Take off your shirt.” The angel just says.

Dean eyes widen a bit and he pointedly look at Jordan then back at the angel. Does the guy realize there’s a child here?

“She’s seen worse. Come on!”

He crosses his arms on his chest impatiently and stares at Dean. Dean has no choice but to obey. He lifts his shirt over his head in one swift motion and stands there, not knowing what to do with his arms, letting them hang at his side. He tries not to close his fists and he wills his body to relax.

The angel touches his tattoo like it’s the most fragile thing he’s encountered. He lets his fingers rest here for a while (they’re warm, they’re so warm) and he slowly maps out the outline before flattening his palm against it. Dean is aware of his heart beating slightly faster than usual. The angel probably feels it. He keeps his hand here and he looks into Dean’s eyes. The angel’s hand is burning hot against his chest.

Dean briefly wonders if the rest of his body is as hot as his hands.

“It’s beautiful… But I’ve never seen one like this before. Someone designed this for you.”

It’s not a question, so Dean doesn’t say anything and he just grits his teeth. The angel cocks his head on the side.

“You don’t want me to know who did.” He states.

He removes his hand then and takes a step back.

“Fine then.”

He gestures to Jordan to come with him and he waits for her to take his hand before he walks away. Jordan looks back and winks at Dean and he feels sick. He wonders what just happened. He didn’t feel as gross out as he thought he would be. He doesn’t like it.

He decides to put if off his mind and he gets back to chopping wood.

~*~

“Do you like the Master?” Jordan asks suddenly.

She has a way of asking things like that out of the blue, Dean finds it wonderful and annoying at the same time. They’re both sitting on Dean’s bed. He has his back against a wall and she’s resting her head on his shoulder. He’s trying to read the last week’s papers but she keeps talking and it’s kind of unnerving.

The other guys aren’t here yet, they had special permission to go to town this evening, and so they’re probably having a beer somewhere, which is nice of the angel to let them go out like this but it sucks for Dean. Jordan is sleeping in the guys’ quarters for the first time tonight, like the angel said she had to at least one night a week from now on. Dean asked Mrs. Herbert about it and she said it was because Jordan was going to turn thirteen soon. They’re probably trying to get her used to it because they want her to stop sleeping in the women’s quarter after her birthday. Dean gets it. He’s been a teenage boy and he knows that anything can wake your hormones up at that age. Seeing as how much she doesn’t like her own body, it’s better for her if she gets awkward unwanted boners when surrounded by guys who won’t say anything about it and pretend they don’t see. Teenage years are tough and it’s probably going to be tougher on Jordan.

So yeah, he gets it, but it also means he’s the only one here with her and he has to babysit.

“What do you mean?” He says, absent-mindedly.

There’s an article about a fire that occurred at a demon base he knew well. He thinks maybe it’s good news, maybe it’s Sam. He can’t be sure though, they’re not the only hunters out there.

“Like, do you think he’s cute? Do you want to… You know?”

He opens his eyes wide and stares at her.

“You’re not supposed to know about those… Birds and bees kind of shit.” He answers.

She snorts. “Dean, I’m twelve. I’m not stupid.” And she says it like he’s the stupid one.

He huffs a laugh and tries to focus on the paper he’s holding again.

“Answer me, Dean!”

Dean raises an eyebrow at her.

“No, I don’t want to have sex with the Master. Happy?”

She pouts. The book she was pretending to read lays abandoned on a side of the bed. He won’t get out of that conversation now.

“Why?” She asks. “Don’t you think he’s a nice man?”

“Maybe he is but I’m not into guys.”

He keeps his eyes on the paper hoping she’ll take a clue but he can’t read anymore. That conversation is disturbing.

She pushes herself away and crosses her legs.

“But what if he wants to have sex with you?”

“What’s with all the sex talk tonight?”

“Dean…”

He sighs. This is extremely embarrassing. He never thought he would have to go through another of those ‘talks’ with a teenager ever again after Sammy.

“Well I can’t exactly say no to him now, can I?” He snaps.

He doesn’t want to be mad at her but the possibility that it can happen, that it’s probably going to happen soon, it’s daunting. The angel is going to call him to his quarter someday, and he doesn’t want to think about it because he knows if he steps foot in the guy’s chamber it’ll happen and he won’t be able to do anything about it.

 “Sorry…” She whispers.

She’s looking at him with concern in her eyes and he feels bad.

“Don’t be, I’m just… I just need some time to get use to the idea, that’s all.”

She stares for a while, like she’s thinking about it.

“I don’t think he’ll ask you anyway… Everybody says he’s going to take me as his pleasure slave. I think he’s making me sleep here because he wants me to be a boy again.”

She’s scratches her leg as she talks, like she wants to look like she doesn’t care but he can see she’s as scared as he is about this.

“I don’t think so.” Dean says.

She gives him an interrogative look.

“Has he ever touched you like he touched me the other day?”

She shakes her head no.

“See. I don’t think you need to worry about that. He likes you but not in that way.”

He sees she’s relaxing a bit but she doesn’t smile. She doesn’t move. She looks down, clearly lost in her thoughts.

“Okay, time for bed now, kid.”

He puts the papers on the floor and nudges at her. She sighs.

“Can I sleep in your bed?”

“You have a bed. Right there.” He points at it but it’s no use.

She’s trying to puppy-eye him. He gives her his best bitch face but it doesn’t work. And he’s so tired anyway, he doesn’t have the strength to resist.

“Okay, fine…” He finally says.

She smiles bright and goes to fetch her pillow. He lays down and she crawls close to him.

~*~

Dean is back to hanging laundry. He doesn’t know why, maybe Jessica had some better things to do today. Sometimes she disappears and nobody knows where. He doesn’t think about it much, though, because usually he doesn’t have time and he’s so exhausted he can barely function.

But laundry is cool. They have washing machines, at least, so you just have to put your laundry in it and push a button. Hanging it is relaxing too, he finds. Especially now that the days are less hot, when there’s a little breeze it’s just perfect.

He’s thinking about the Impala again, and he might have been slightly daydreaming for five minutes when he hears the Old Herbert call his name.

He turns around.

“Dean Winchester! Come here!” She yells from the house.

He doesn’t even bother to ask her what she wants, he just lets everything where it is and goes inside. Charlie, Gilda and Jessica are all gathered in the entry hall, like they’re waiting for him.

Mrs. Herbert is here too, at the top of the stairs, and she’s waiting with a hand on her hip.

“Come on, move it! The Master wants to see you. The four of you!”

Dean gives a curious look at the girls and they look at him and each other the same way. No one knows what’s happening, except for Mrs. Herbert apparently. He strolls up the stairs and the girls follow. Mrs. Herbert starts walking too, she takes another flight of stairs, one Dean has never taken before, and leads them in front of a small wooden door.

She knocks and pushes the door open. She waves at them to go in and so they do.

So that’s the angel’s study? It’s bigger than he thought and, luckily for him, there’s an awful lot of books in there. The walls are made of shelves filled with hundreds and hundreds of books. He glances around quickly, trying not to look like he’s mapping the place in his head.

The four of them stand in front of the desk, and the girls take the typical slave stance. Dean doesn’t know how they manage to stand that straight while still looking at the floor so he just puts his hands behind his back and tries to look anywhere but into the angel’s eyes.

The angel is sitting on the other side of the desk and he’s looking at them with a small, tired smile on his face. He stands up and walks around his desk, hands behind his back.

“So… You’re probably wondering why I gathered you all here…” He starts.

Dean can’t help but roll his eyes and he barely suppresses a sigh. That guys is always so theatrical. The angel smiles at him like they’re sharing a very important secret.

Nobody should be that proud of themselves for a reference that lame. The girls don’t seem to notice though, so the angel leans on his desk once he’s in front of them.

“My brothers are coming tonight, and they want to meet you.” He finally says.

Well, that’s a bit weird, isn’t it? Why would angels want to meet some random slaves?

“Especially you.” He says to Dean.

Dean raises an eyebrow in surprise. “Me?” The angel doesn’t reply right away and he seems to be waiting for something. Oh. Yeah. Right. He hasn’t bothered Dean with this for a long while. “Me, Master?” He says.

He tries not to make it sound exasperated but he fails.

“Yeah, you. _Dean_. You’re kind of famous amongst our kind, you know.”

Dean knows this, obviously. He’s not too eager to meet the other angels. Gabriel is nice enough but he wonders what the others will want to do to him.

They’re not really related by blood, but they give each other the title of Brother or Sister when they did something for each other that made them feel like they have a special bond. He doesn’t know who Gabriel considers his brothers. He only knows Ana was his only sister. And Dean killed her.

He wonders how Gabriel can be so calm around him.

“So I just wanted to let you know we’re going to call you after dinner so that they can see you. They’ll probably ask you some questions so I want you to answer them as you would answer me, is that clear?”

“Yes, Master.” The three women answer.

Dean missed the cue apparently but the angel pretends he hasn’t noticed.

“Alright, you can go now. Try to behave, okay?”

They all nod and starts to leave so Dean is about to follow but the angel grabs his arm and pulls him back.

“Not you.” He says.

Dean’s stomach tightens suddenly and he feels like his heart is trying to get out of his throat. He hopes it’s not what he thinks it is. He’s not ready yet. He can’t just… No, it can’t happen, here of all places. There’s nothing comfortable here and he thought at least if the angel made him do this he’d be nice enough to-

“Don’t look so scared, Dean. I’m not going to… eat you.” His smile turns devious and Dean swallows hard.

“Look at you.” He goes on. “Do you think I’d let you stand in front of my brothers like this? Especially Michael and Lucifer… I know you weren’t trained but… Seriously?”

He waves in Dean’s general direction, as if it would explain what he means. Dean looks down on himself then back to the angel.

“What?” He asks. Because truly, he doesn’t know what the guy is talking about.

The angel sighs and walk close to Dean. Very close. A bit too close for Dean’s taste.

“Okay stand straighter… Straighter than this, come on!”

He slides a hand behind Dean and pushes his fist into his lower back, his other hand pushing at Dean’s chest. His hands are fucking hot. Dean starts to sweat a bit.

“Now, arms behind your back, hold your left hand into your right hand.”

Dean does and his fingers brush the angel’s.

“Right, now look down. With your whole head.”

“I can’t-“

“Of course you can. If a twelve year old can do it, I don’t see why you couldn’t!”

Dean tries but it pulls on his spine and it hurts. He does it anyway, and when he finally looks down the angel’s face is so close to him that their noses are almost touching. The angel is smaller than him, he realizes. He wonders why he never noticed before.  

“Good.” The angel whispers.

Dean feels his breath on his mouth. He smells like sugar.

After a few seconds he takes a step back and Dean tries not to move. His arms are shaking a bit and the top of his spine right under his neck is killing him but he holds on.

“How long do I have to stand like this?” He asks.

He can’t help it. It really _hurts_!

“As long as I need you to.” The angel replies. “I might make you stand here all day long. Look at you! You’re so beautiful like this!”

Dean can’t see his face like this and he doesn’t dare look up but he hears the smugness in the guy’s voice. The angel walks around him and Dean feels his hand running up his spine.

“You have no idea what I would do to see you like this without your clothes on.” He whispers.

A shiver runs up Dean’s body. He doesn’t know if it’s out of disgust or something else.

The angel’s body appears again in his line of vision. His fingers brush Dean’s chin and he forces his head up. Dean stares into his eyes and he sees the bastard is smiling wide like he’s really proud of himself.

“Alright, you can stop.”

Dean almost sigh out of relief and relaxes a bit.

“Now get your pretty ass out of here. Get back to work!”

Dean does as he’s told and as soon as he’s out in the sun he takes a minute to shake the uneasiness out. That was weird. That was really weird. He’s shaking now, and he doesn’t even know why. He’s taken monsters, demons, all sorts of craps. But this guy is scarier than anything else. For starters, Dean has nothing to defend himself here. And the angel is so fucking calm all the time. Dean doesn’t know how to prepare himself because he never knows how the guy will react or what he’s going to do next.

He’s sure of one thing though: he’s really not eager to find out what’s going to happen tonight.

~*~

Gilda looks like she’s about to throw up. Dean kinda feels the same way but he tries not to show it. It’s happening. He’s going to meet the angel’s brothers. He doesn’t want to. He really doesn’t but it’s not like he has a choice.

Charlie gently places a strand of hair behind Gilda’s ear and they stare into each other’s eyes for a second.

“Breathe.” Charlie whispers.

Gilda nods, closes her yes and takes slow breaths. Jessica is looking straight ahead of her. She looks focused. And deadly.

“You okay?” He asks her.

She keeps staring at the dining room door but she nods.

“I’ve met Master Castiel already, he’s a nice man.” She says, but she doesn’t expend on it.

Mrs. Herbert makes them stand in line then and it’s time.

“They’re all pretty drunk already…” She whispers to them. “Be good slaves, behave and do what they tell you, no matter what and everything should be fine.” She eyes Dean and he thinks he sees pity in her eyes. “Be good, boy.” She says. It almost sounds like a plea.

Jordan said she doesn’t like Lucifer and Michael. She wouldn’t wanna say why. Seeing the look Mrs. Herbert gives them Dean thinks he’s starting to get an idea. He’s heard about them but hearing rumors and meeting the guys in person, it’s something else. He’s never heard of Castiel before, though, and since he doesn’t know what to expect it makes him feel even more anxious.

Mrs. Herbert opens the door and let them walk in, Dean first, and as soon as he steps inside he feels like he’s left his body. He’s never been so nervous in his life. He takes the stance the angel taught him this morning and he doesn’t even feel the pain in his neck anymore. He knows it’s there, his brain just doesn’t register it. He can’t see their faces, he can’t hear their voices. He needs to calm down.

He tries to slow his breathing, and he focuses on the patterns of the rug under his feet.

That’s it. He’s coming back, he can feel it. Him and the girls are standing in front of a couch. There’s a coffee table with an impressive amount of alcohol on it and around it. Gabriel’s voice is coming from the left.

Dean tries to give a look around, as discreetly as he can, without moving his head. The one in the middle of the couch has short blond hair. He’s tall and he looks arrogant. Gabriel sits a good feet away from him. On the right is a shorter man with black hair. He looks very young. Or at least his vessel looks young.

Oddly the third one doesn’t sit with them. He’s sitting very straight on a different, smaller couch on the right, and he’s staring at them with piercing blue eyes. He looks intrigued, almost like he’s studying them from the inside out.

Dean’s eyes come back to Gabriel; he’s smiling lazily, like he doesn’t care, but he looks tenser than usual.

Finally he looks down again and tries to clear his mind. The blond angel whistles loudly.

“Gabriel, I’m impressed. I always thought you had absolutely no taste in women.”

Jess is standing next to Dean, she shifts her weight a bit like she’s uncomfortable.

“Shuddup” Gabriel answers.

Dean sees he’s drinking directly from a bottle of… whisky? He’s not sure, he can’t really see anything.

“Are any of those cunts good, though?” The blond one goes on.

“Lucifer…” The one on the right says. “You’re being rude.”

The blond one – Lucifer, apparently – Ignores him and turn to the other one with the big blue eyes.

“What do you think, Castiel?”

Castiel eyes him but doesn’t answer.

“Leave him alone, Luci.” Gabriel comes in.

“Ah but it always breaks my heart every time he tells me he’s still a virgin. Seriously.”

He gets up smoothly, elegantly, even if he looks more than tipsy and he takes a step toward Charlie.

“What do you think, ladies?” He asks.

The other one – the one Dean assumes is Michael – rolls his eyes.

“Who cares about some slave girls? Send them away! I want a word with this one.”

And Dean feels all eyes turning to him. He tries not to panic again. He breathes slowly by his nose and he keeps looking at the floor. It’s weird but having Gabriel in his peripheral vision calms him a bit. He knows the angel is not hostile. He wouldn’t let them do anything to him, right?

“Alright girls, get back to work!” Gabriel says.

And he waves at them to make them leave. Dean stays where he is and his heart beats faster with every step the girls take away from him. Soon he’s alone with the angels and he doesn’t like the way Lucifer is smirking at him. But he hates the glint in Michael’s eyes even more. Gabriel’s face is closed, and Castiel is still staring like Dean is the most curious thing in the world.

“Sooo!” Lucifer starts. He walks closer and Dean has to fight the urge to run away. “You’re the one who killed Ana…”

Dean doesn’t nod, doesn’t answer, he keeps staring straight at the floor. He sees Michael stand up as well and walk to him. Dean can’t see Gabriel anymore. His breathing is getting quicker.

“Look at me.” Michael orders.

His voice is ice cold. He looks up into the angel’s eyes and he feels like his whole body is made of lead. Lucifer shifts and Dean can get a glimpse of Gabriel. He’s not moving. He’s looking at the scene with no expression on his face. And Dean realizes something. He’s not the one who has the power here. It’s his house, yes, but Lucifer and Michael are the ones in charge in the little group. And Castiel… Well, Dean doesn’t know what to make of him. He seems harmless enough.

“You killed her.”

“Yes.” Dean whispers.

He can’t deny it. He did. He remembers her screams and the way her blood trickled on his wrist when he finally gave her the final blow.

Lucifer strikes him and he finds himself on his knees before he can realize what happened. He can’t feel his nose anymore and there’s blood on the rug. He pushes himself up, slowly, and stands straight again, hands behind his back. What Mrs. Herbert said to him keeps running through his mind like a mantra. _Be good, boy. Be good, boy. Be good, boy. Be good, boy._

“Dean…” Gabriel says.

His voice is low, barely audible, but Dean understands. He forgot. It’s not his fault. He’s not used to this life.

“Yes, Master.” He says.

He doesn’t blush. He doesn’t feel the shame because right now he’s not really here. He’s not Dean anymore. He’s half-outside of his body. Everything feels surreal.

Everything is fine because nothing is real.

“I’m curious as to why.” Michael goes on. “Why did you have to _torture_ her like you did?”

Dean doesn’t even blink.

“I thought she was corrupted. I was trying to get names. Some angels were murdered and there were reports of weird explosions made out of pure white light. They made a lot of human casualties.” The words pour out, he doesn’t try to stop them. He doesn’t look into the angel’s eyes, he stares at a random spot on the wall behind him. “I put two and two together and I realized it was angel on angel violence so I tried to stop it. I thought she was a part of it.”

Someone lends another blow, he’s not sure who. He’s on the floor again and this time when he tries to get up the world starts to spin and he has to close his eyes. There’s a foot kicking at his ribs and for a minute the pain is so great he thinks maybe he’s gonna faint but he doesn’t. One of his rib is probably broken. He coughs once, twice. There’s more blood on the rug. He pushes himself up anyway and after a while he manages to stand and he tries as best as he can to keep straight but half of his torso hurts and it’s difficult. His nose is bleeding and he can see it’s swollen. Maybe a broken nose too, then.

“You’re lying.” Michael says.

He’s still holding his glass, Dean sees. So Lucifer is the one hitting him then. Castiel hasn’t moved but he looks concerned.

“I swear I’m not, Master.” He answers.

What else can he say? He doesn’t know how to get out of this situation. He’s not scared anymore because now he knows Gabriel isn’t going to help and he feels oddly calm. He doesn’t have his weapons anyway, and nobody is going to barge in and save his ass so he just has to accept that either he’s going to get out of here with a few broken bones, or not. And it’s easy. It’s not his choice. It’s theirs.

Michael is shaking with rage and he’s probably about to say something else but Lucifer beats him to it.

“Have you tested him?” He asked, turning to Gabriel.

The Archangel blinks and he looks up to his brother, surprised by the change of topic.

“No. They took care of that at the market. Why would I?”

Lucifer turns to Dean again. Dean fears what’s going to happen. He’s been through one of the market’s ‘testings’. That’s just a nice name for a very thorough body search. He doesn’t like the sound of that. Especially not with the corky smile Lucifer is giving him. Michael still looks pissed but he just goes back to sitting on the couch and he pours himself another drink. Dean still stays very still, eyes straight up. He barely dares to blink. He feels dizzy and his whole body is starting to hurt.

“I don’t know, I thought you’d bought this one to replace what’s-his-name. The big one with no tongue.”

Gabriel sighs. His gaze is unfocused. Dean gets the feeling he got started on the booze way before his brothers got here. And it doesn’t feel like it’s the first time he does that either.

“Well, yeah. But I’m not going to…” He trails off, gesturing to Dean. “I don’t do that.”

“Did you get a look at least?”

Gabriel shrugs. “No.”

Lucifer’s smile widens. “Come on, Gabe! I can’t believe you didn’t…”

He turns to Dean and eyes him head to toe.

“Take off your clothes.” He orders. “We’re going to have a bit of fun…” His eyes are dark and he gives Dean a predatory look. Dean doesn’t feel anything except fear.

Gabriel’s whole body tense and he tightens his mouth in a thin line but he doesn’t say anything. Castiel straightens up in his seat and he seems a bit uncomfortable.

“Lucifer, I’m not sure it’s the right time for-“

“I SAID WE’RE GOING TO HAVE SOME FUN!” Lucifer yells suddenly, body tense with furry for a second.

Castiel sits back and shuts his mouth. Michael is the only one who looks relaxed now. Lucifer turns back to Dean. He grabs Dean’s chin forcefully and make him look into his eyes.

“Take. Off. Your clothes.”

Slowly, Dean takes off his shirt and lets it fall on the floor. He tries to give Gabriel a look, to silently ask for help, but as soon as he does Gabriel turns his head away and takes another sip of his drink.

“All of them.” Lucifer goes on.

He looks dangerous and his smile is turning mad. Dean unbutton his pants and steps out of it. He’s only wearing his underwear now. He can see there’s a big, ugly bruise on his left side where he’s been kicked. It’s gonna hurt like a bitch in the morning.

He tugs at his boxer shorts and hesitate for a second. He tries to pretend it’s nothing. He needs to convince himself it’s nothing. He needs everything to feel unreal again. The beating brought him back but he needs to find that place in his mind again.

He pushes the shorts down and straightens up. He tries to ignore the chill that runs up his body. It’s nothing. It’s just flesh. It’s nothing. It’s nothing.

“My! You are a big boy!” Lucifer exclaims, eyeing him.

It’s not working. It’s not working at all, he can’t get out of his body anymore and he’s starting to panic again. Lucifer is getting closer and closer and he feels like he’s going to throw up. He’s _naked_ in front of people. He’s a thing, he doesn’t know what they’re going to do to him and he’s scared.

Lucifer is so close now Dean can feel his breath on his cheek. The angel’s cold. So cold it almost burns.

Suddenly he grabs Dean between his legs and Dean can’t help but stare straight at Gabriel. He knows his eyes must be wild with panic and probably disgust but he doesn’t move. Gabriel finally looks back at him but his face is blank.

Lucifer’s other hand slowly runs up Dean’s chest and he lets his hand rest on Dean’s throat. He tightens his grip until Dean can barely breathe. Dean keeps staring at Gabriel. His brain freezes. There’s only one thing he can think about _. He’s going to help me. He can’t let it happen. He’s going to help me. He’s going to help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me_. Like a broken record.

He feels Lucifer’s hand sliding between his legs, forcing them open, and he braces himself for what is about to come.

“That’s enough!”

Gabriel’s voice resonates in the silent room. Lucifer freezes and he turns to look at his brother, his tongue playfully stuck between his teeth.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to break your toy. I’m merely getting him ready for you.”

“I said enough. Luci, let go of him.” His voice is cold and he looks sober for the first time since Dean entered the room.

Lucifer lets go of Dean and raises his arms in the air in mock defeat.

“Fine! You don’t need to get all upset about it.”

“Dean, get dressed… I…” Gabriel sigh.

He avoids Dean’s eyes and slump back on the couch. Dean grabs his clothes and tries to put them on as fast as he can.

“Are you sure you want to keep him? You’re not even using him. I could buy him from you. Whatever the price I double it!” Lucifer says as he sits back.

“No.”

When Dean’s finally dressed again, he puts his hands behind his back and he stares at the wall in front of him. He sees Castiel is still looking at him from the corner of his eye, but the others are behaving like he’s not even here anymore.

“Then lend him to us. I promise we won’t kill him.”

“I said no. Dean, get out of here and go wait for me in my study.”

Dean nods. “Yes Master.” He says. He tries to make it sound like a heart-felt ‘thank you’.

As he walks out he feels his knees shake and he thinks they’re going to fail him for a second but he keeps walking. Finally he’s out of the door. He takes three steps and he falls.

 


	3. Why the hell not?

He’s on the floor and he’s dizzy and everything is spinning. There’s a voice and suddenly the spinning stops. He wants to throw up. For a moment he feels lost.

When he looks up Mrs. Herbert is here with Bobby.

“God in Heaven, what did they do to you?” She whispers.

Bobby tries to lift him up but he’s touching Dean’s bad side and Dean winces and takes a hurt breath between his teeth. Bobby takes a look under his shirt and Mrs. Herbert gasps.

“Come on, take it easy.” Bobby says as he pulls him up by an arm.

It takes Dean a few seconds to find his balance but he’s on his feet again and he feels better already. They start dragging him down the stairs to get him back to their quarters but he starts to panic again.

“No, no no he said… No, not here I have… I have to wait in his study, don’t- “

“Okay, calm down boy.”

They stop and turn around and Dean feels relief wash over him. It’s so weird. It’s like half of himself is going bat shit crazy and the other half can do nothing but watch. He knows he shouldn’t panic like this, he knows it’s ridiculous but the mere idea of disobeying the angel right now is so frightening he can’t think of anything else. He has to get into the study and everything will be okay.

They help him walk all the way and when they’re finally in the room Dean starts to feel like his brain is getting back on track. They sit him in the small couch facing the desk and it makes him feel uncomfortable because he’s not sure he’s allowed but he knows he’s not going to be able to stay standing for long so he just goes with it. Mrs. Herbert disappears for a while and she comes back with a small towel and a bucket filled with warm water.

She wipes the blood out of his face, gently, and he lets her do it. The warm water helps with the pain a little, and it calms him down. When she’s done she gets up, grabs the bucket and the blood soaked towel and she leaves. Bobby doesn’t say anything, he just waits for her to finish and he squeezes Dean’s shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay, boy. The night’s almost over.”

He looks uncomfortable like he’s not used to all this and when the silence gets too heavy and awkward he just nods at Dean and he leaves, closing the door behind him.

Finally, Dean is alone. And as he looks around, he realizes : he’s alone. In the study. He had almost forgotten that’s what he had been trying to do for all those weeks. And now it’s happening. He stands up carefully and moves to the closest wall.

There are so many, many books. He reads the edge of some of them, tries to see what they’re about. They don’t seem to have a specific order. Or at least it’s not alphabetical. There’s a book about interior design next to a book about early demonology. Three books about plants (gardening?), one about cupcakes baking, a very old bible, one that looks like a novel – or at least the title seems familiar to Dean – and a book about binding spells.

He stops reading. Too many things, and there’s no order to it, it’s no use. He needs more time. He doesn’t know when the angel is coming back, and the truth is, he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. He feels hopeless.

For the hundredth time, he wishes Sammy was here.

He’s so tired and his nose is starting to hurt really bad. He feels a headache coming and when he closes his eyes for a second he feels like he’s starting to spin so he opens them again. He needs to lie down, he’s too tired for this.

Reluctantly, he walks away from the books and comes back to sit on the couch. It may be his only chance to be here alone but he can’t do anything right now. He’s too tired, he’s in pain, and he’s scared. He feels so lonely it’s unbearable.

Everything had started to feel better but now after his encounter with Lucifer and Michael reality hit him right in the face. He is a slave now, and he can’t bear it. He’d almost forgotten about it. Gabriel is so nice all the time, it lured him into a false sense of security. He tries to be pissed at the angel for a while but he can’t.

He’s tired. Too damn tired.

~*~

He wakes up to the sound of loud laughter on the other side of the door. His heart hammers in his chest and he bolts up. It makes his blood pulse harder and suddenly his nose feels like it’s about to explode. He tries to touch it but it worsens the pain and so he just stands there, head down, hissing and he shakes his hands like it’s going to expel the pain away.

After a few seconds the pain recedes. It’s still here but he’s been punched before, he can bear it for a little while longer until he can finally put some ice on it. He glances at the clock on the desk and sees it’s almost three in the morning.

He can hear them in the corridor and so he doesn’t move. He hopes they’re not all gonna come in here. He’s not sure he can take another one of those meeting ever again. He hears Lucifer laugh again. Gabriel says something to him but he can’t quite work out the words.

He tries to straighten up but his side hurts. Slowly, he stretches his left arm out, trying to get the muscle moving. It helps a bit and he lowers his arm. Gabriel’s voice is close now, the doorknob starts to turn. Dean is starting to sweat again. He’s scared, and he doesn’t like it. But he’s used to it. Before fear was good. It filled him with adrenaline and it helped him focus on his job. But now he just feels helpless.

He finally manages to get his arms behind his back and catch his left wrist with his right hand like the angel taught him. It hurts more than anything but he does it because he can’t take any more tonight.

Finally the laughter dies away and the door opens. Gabriel stands in the doorway for a while, blinking at Dean like he forgot he was going to be here. He probably did. He looks wasted.

“Dean.” He states.

Dean stares and says nothing. He probably could have gone to his room and be asleep right now in the comfort of his own bed (He can’t believe he’s thinking of it as his own bed). He’s so stupid to have come here. He should have gone to bed.

The angel comes in and closes the door. He’s still walking straight as he comes close to Dean but his eyes are watery and his gaze unfocused. When he’s only a couple of feet away he notices Dean’s swollen nose and he frowns.

He sighs.

“Sorry about that.”

He raises his hand slowly and carefully grazes Dean’s nose with the tip of his fingers. Dean feels like billions of little sparkles of energy are dancing on his face for a second and the pain is suddenly gone and his mind is clearer. Then the angel looks down at Dean’s chest.

“Let me have a look at that…” He whispers.

Dean feels so empty after everything that he doesn’t have the strength to feel embarrassed. He takes off his shirt and let it fall on the floor. Moving his arms sends a spike of pain in his ribs but he ignores it.

Gabriel looks sad as he contemplates the dark blue bruise on Dean’s side. He let his whole hand rest on it and Dean hisses a bit but soon the same sparkling sensation happens and the bruise disappears as well as the pain.

“I didn’t thought…” The angel starts.

But he doesn’t finish his sentence. He looks frustrated and for the first time since Dean arrived at the mansion he’s looking at him like he’s just some other regular guy, and not his slave. Like an equal.

So dean stares back like one, too.

“I’m not- Luci he… I shouldn’t have let him go that far. Obviously I knew how he is I just…”

He looks lost. And a little bit scared. He’s scared of Lucifer, Dean realizes. Well, Dean can understand that, at least. The guy scares him too.

Suddenly the angel seems to remember who he’s trying to talk to and he straightens up.

“Sorry.” He says again, and this time it feels more controlled. “Hopefully it won’t happen again.”

Dean nods. He’s so tired. He just wants this night to end. But Gabriel is still standing close and his gaze wanders on Dean’s body. He laughs to himself, shakes his head like he just had the most stupid idea and takes a small step back. He’s still only a foot away and he seems to hesitate.

“Dean.” He breathes. Like he doesn’t dare say what’s on his mind.

His hand shakes a little as he brings it close to Dean’s chest again. He traces the outline of the tattoo with reverence and he looks up to Dean. Dean doesn’t want to think about what it means. He’s too tired for this. He feels so empty.

Gabriel’s hand runs up and cups Dean’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, I just-“He licks his lips. “Seeing you like this, with no clothes on I… You were so beautiful.”

Dean sees he’s trying to shut himself up. He’s not sure he wants to hear the rest of it.

“You’re fascinating.” Gabriel goes on.

He chews on his lip and open his mouth to say something else, his pupils are almost completely dilated and his eyes glistens. But he shuts his mouth again and closes his eyes. His hand is still on Dean’s cheek. It’s warm, and oddly comforting. It’s not hostile. It’s just there, it reminds Dean that somehow this particular angel cares about humans, even if he pretends he doesn’t.

Somewhere, in some deep part of his mind, there’s a little voice that tells him he should feel something. Fear, disgust maybe? He doesn’t want to imagine what Lucifer would have done if Gabriel hadn’t stopped him, and he doesn’t want to think about Gabriel as being the same kind of angel Lucifer is. After all, he put an end to things when they went a little bit too far. Dean wants to trust him. The Archangel is his only protection against everything now.

When Gabriel opens his eyes he looks determined even if a bit unsure of himself.

“Dean… Can I… Can I touch you, please?” He whispers, like he’s afraid of what he’s asking. “I don’t usually… I don’t force anyone, never, but I want to touch you so bad, and tonight it’s… It made it worse. Please. Please let me…”

He stares at Dean with such intensity Dean can almost physically feel his need. Dean swallows hard, and he knows it’s his turn to say or do something, and he knows that if he says no, if he puts an end to this incredible load of crap, he’ll be able to walk away and go to bed and forget about it without a scratch. Gabriel looks too vulnerable right now to do anything violent.

The reasonable part of his brain tells him he should be revolted by the question. Archangels are a bunch of selfish bastards. Dean’s just been groped by Gabriel’s brother and now he wants to have a go at him? That’s just rich.

He doesn’t know why, but he nods. Maybe it’s because he’s too tired and he just wants to please the guy so he’ll leave him alone. Maybe it’s something else. Maybe for a second there when he heard Gabriel beg he felt a twitch of excitement going through his lower belly.

He wants to slap himself.

The angel’s eyes open wide in surprise like he was expecting Dean to tell him to fuck off and he takes a sharp breathe. He lets go of Dean’s cheek and closes the gap between them. He doesn’t try to kiss Dean, which is a relief. He just tentatively nuzzle his face in Dean’s neck and takes another breath. He puts his left hand on Dean’s lower back, and his right hand slide down Dean’s torso.

Dean feels his heart flutter but he’s not scared anymore. He hates to admit it, even if it’s only to himself, but the fatigue is fading away and all he feels is excitement. He’s even half hard now.

God, this night is the weirdest night he’s ever experienced. He wants to be disgusted but he’s not.

He feels Gabriel’s breath on his neck and it sends a shiver of anticipation down his body. He keeps his hands behind his back to keep a bit of control over himself. He doesn’t feel repulsed, but he feels ashamed of himself. He shouldn’t be enjoying this. Not after everything.

He promises himself he won’t enjoy it. He’ll let the guy have his fun, and then he’ll go to bed.

Hopefully things will go back to normal after that.

The angel’s right hand has reached the edge of his pants and he stops. He pulls his left hand away from Dean’s back and strokes his arm instead until he reaches Dean’s shoulder and he lets it rest there.

“Last chance to-“

“It’s okay.” Dean cuts him.

He’s surprised when his voice doesn’t come out and he can barely hear himself, but he knows the angel heard him. His throat is so tight with a mixt of anxiety and excitement that it’s the only thing he manages to say. He can’t believe how quick it came out of his mouth.

Gabriel lets out a nervous laugh in his neck and suddenly he’s the Master again, sure of himself, taking what he wants without thinking about it it seems and he almost tears Dean’s pants in half as he opens them.

His hand is on Dean’s dick and it’s overwhelming. The angel’s thumb slides on the tip, spreading pre-come all over and it sends little sparks of pleasure along Dean’s flesh. His breathing gets quicker but he tries to keep his mouth closed. Gabriel’s grip on his shoulder tightens and he slowly starts to run his hand up and down Dean’s shaft.

Gabriel is nothing like his brother. His touch is firm but gentle and his hands are so, so hot.  

“You’re incredible…” Gabriel breathe in his hear. “You’re so good…”

The hand on Dean’s shoulder relaxes and pulls away until it’s on his neck, Gabriel’s fingers sliding through his hair. It makes Dean realize he’s sweating slightly. He tries to concentrate on that so that he won’t enjoy this too much. But he can’t help it, the angel really knows what he’s doing and the more he runs his hand up and down Dean’s dick the wetter it feels, like Gabriel is producing his own kind of angelic lube with his hand. Gabriel’s hands are so hot it’s almost unbearable but it makes everything even better. He feels the familiar ball of pleasure forming low in his guts and he feels a moan coming up. He tries to hold it but he can’t.

The angel grabs a fistful of his hair suddenly and pulls his head away. He gives Dean a look of pure lust and he smiles.

“That’s beautiful. Dean, you’re so beautiful…”

He quickens his pace now and Dean’s mouth open without his consent. The angel looks so hot like this, all powerful and commanding and Dean basks in his praises. He never thought he would enjoy this as much as he does. He can barely think now. It’s too good, too hot, too much, and he feels his orgasm building up full force. He can’t help the little helpless sounds that come out of his throat now.

It’s coming back, the feeling of being out of his body, as if he’s watching himself from a place atop of his brain. But it’s different now. It’s… Good.

The angel lets go of his hair and his left hand slowly stroke his back, going down and down and down. He pushes Dean’s pants down.

“Spread your legs.”

Dean does and his sack hangs heavy between his legs. It sends a fresh wave of pleasure up his spine and he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back.

“Look at me.” The angel orders.

It’s hard to keep his eyes open but he tries and he looks back at Gabriel. The angel is smiling in such a self-satisfied, perverted way that Dean can’t help but smirk back. The hand on his lower back goes further down and he has a moment of panic but he doesn’t have time to protest that there’s already a slick finger rubbing his hole, and his whole body becomes pleasure.

He lets his head fall onto the angel’s shoulder and can’t help but moan loudly.

“You’re about to come, aren’t you?” The angel asks, voice low and rough.

“Yes. Yes.” He gasps. “Please. Yes!”

“Well you can’t. I haven’t said you could.”

Dean doesn’t understands at first and then he feels overwhelmed by what he’s asked to do. He can’t hold it. It’s too strong and it’s almost here, he feels it growing in his lower belly, tightening his balls, running up his body and growing in his guts.

“I can’t, I can’t, please, I can’t hold it.” He almost sobs at the thought.

“Yes you can. That’s an order Dean. Don’t come until I tell you.”

Dean shakes his head no.

“Dean. Answer me.”

It’s unbearable, he feels like his balls are going to explode and he tries to hold it, he really tries and incredibly he doesn’t come. He’s shaking all over with the effort and he feels that his legs are about to give out. It pushes his ass onto Gabriel’s finger and he feels a first knuckle go in.

“I-“ God, he sounds like such a needy little bitch.

“Dean, you’re not allowed to come.”

He pushes another knuckle in, and it burns but it’s so good at the same time he feel like the orgasm is just right here and he wants to cry because oddly enough he doesn’t want to disobey. It’s so good he doesn’t want it to stop but at the same time it’s scary because it’s too intense and he’s not sure he’ll survive this.

“Are you going to be a good boy, Dean?”

If he was in his right mind he would just punch the guy in the face. But right now it’s just fucking hot.

“Yes.” He breathe in the angel’s neck.

“Yes who?”

“Yes Master!”

He almost growls the last word. It’s too much. The hand running up and down his dick, the finger pushing in and out of his ass. It’s so good, so good.

He whimpers against the angel’s neck now but he doesn’t care. He holds it as good as he can, it’s the only thing he can think about now. He’s not Dean, he’s just a warm, great ball of pleasure. Seconds feel like hours but he holds it and he feels the sweat dripping on his back, rolling down until it reaches the crack of his ass.

“Now Dean. Come for me, now.”

And he does and he feels his body give out under the force of his orgasm. His dick pulses hard and his hole clenches around Gabriel’s finger. It’s so good it hurts now. The finger slid away and his ass clenches around nothing and everything get bearable again and he realizes he’s moaning and he’s almost drooling on Gabriel’s shoulder.

The angel’s hand slows down on his shaft and Dean’s stomach spasms again twice before it’s over and Gabriel lets go of everything. Dean keeps still for a few seconds until what just happened dawns on him and he feels like his whole head is on fire.

This is by far the most shameful thing he did. He can’t move now. He doesn’t know what to do because he’s naked and he just got jerked off by an angel and he loved it so much his dick is still twitching with lazy interest.

The angel pulls him close, one hand on the back of his head and the other on his back.

“Thank you.” He whispers in Dean’s ear as he strokes his hair.

Dean has to close his eyes because he doesn’t know how to feel. He keeps his arms behind his back because he doesn’t know what to do with them. He wants to cry. He’s exhausted again now.

They stay like this for a while and Dean barely registers he’s actually being hugged and pampered because the angel keeps whispering praises in his ear and it fills his mind and it prevents him from thinking about anything else.

Slowly, it’s like he’s getting out of a dream. He opens his eyes again, blink a few time, and the shame is still here but at least it’s not overwhelming like before and he thinks he can face the angel again without blushing furiously now so he lets his arms fall at his sides and he straightens up.

He can’t look into the angel’s eyes though.

The angel lets go of him and sighs. He bends down, pull Dean’s pants up and when he’s done he takes a step back and hands him his shirt. Dean takes it and quickly puts it back on again but he still avoids Gabriel’s eyes.

“I won’t force you into anything but know that I’d very much like to do this again properly. I… You can think about it as long as you want, and I won’t pressure you.” The angel says.

Dean doesn’t know if he should nod or say something. He doesn’t want to give his consent without realizing it. A part of him wants to tell the guy to go to hell. But he’s still basking in the afterglow and he can’t really lie to himself and say it wasn’t good. It was more than that. He can’t imagine what it’s going to- What it would feel like if they did this ‘properly’ like Gabriel said.

“As a thank you I’ll let you work on the car, if that’s what you want. Don’t think about it as a payment for what we just did though. It doesn’t mean I’m trying to buy you. You can always say no and I won’t take it from you, I want you to have this and… When you’re ready, you can give me you answer. Whether it’s positive or not I won’t try to change your mind or force you into anything.”

Dean shift his weight a bit. The fabric of his pants brushes his sensitive flesh and it sends a spark of pleasure-pain between his legs. He can’t think about this now. It’s too soon.

“Look at me, Dean. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Dean does because it’s easier to follow orders than to think about all this.

“Will you think about it?” The angel asks.

He’s so hopeful, Dean can do nothing but nod. The angel smiles.

“Good. Now go. Take the morning off tomorrow, sleep it off. You’ll be able to start on the car in the afternoon.”

Dean nods again. He wants to speak but he’s not sure he can utter the word ‘Master’ ever again after this. The conversation is over so he turns to the door and he walks away.

He doesn’t think about anything as he reaches the slaves’ quarters. He tries not to remember what just happened when he washes himself as silently as he can. He tries to dismiss the image of the angel’s smile from his brain as he goes to bed.

When he falls asleep he dreams about golden eyes and smooth, hot hands.

~*~

The Impala is a beauty. There’s so much work on it though. The first thing he does is giving her a very thorough check out. He spends the afternoon on it, making a list of all the things he’s gonna need to do and all the parts he’ll have to replace.

Bobby comes to check on him a few times and so when he’s done he handles him the list and asks him if he can pass it on to the angel. He can’t face the guy anymore.

Spending time with a car helps a lot. He doesn’t think about the night before much as long as he’s occupied. But when he’s done with the list it’s already late in the afternoon and Jessica is gone again today so he decides it’s enough for the day and he goes back to the house to do her chores like he said he would.

Truth is, he feels a bit guilty that he gets to indulge in all this when the others are still working their ass off. If he doesn’t work on his chores a bit today, he feels like they’re going to know somehow. He doesn’t want anybody to know. They all had their suspicion before and he doesn’t want people to understand what happened between him and the angel.

But as soon as he’s in the laundry room and he’s getting the damp clothes out of the washing machine his brain goes back to the night before and he can’t help but blush. He feels like he’s broadcasting his thoughts all around. He tries to forbid himself from thinking about the angel (especially his hands) but it only makes things worse.

He walks outside with a basket full of laundry and he tries to sing all the Led Zeppelin songs he can think of in his head until he stops thinking about it.

He’s half-way through _When the levee breaks_ , humming as he sings the lyrics in his head, when he hears some footsteps behind him. He doesn’t turn around because if it’s Gabriel then he really doesn’t want to talk to him right now.

_Cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ will do you no good_ , he silently sings.

“Hello, Dean.” A voice says, so close to his ear it makes him jump.

It’s not Gabriel. He turns around, biting his tongue so he won’t start swearing at the other angel who’s looking at him with curious eyes.

“Master Castiel.” He utters.

What’s wrong with angels and personal space? This one is even worse than Gabriel.

“I don’t want to keep you from your chores, Dean, but I wondered If I could have a word with you? It won’t take long.”

Dean feels uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his big, incredibly blue gaze, but he nods. He takes a look around to see if he’s alone. If Michael and Lucifer are here too, he’s fucked this time. And not in a good way.

“I’m alone.” Castiel says, answering his silent question.

Dean turns to the angel and waits.

“What you said last night about angels attacking other angels… Was that the truth?”

Dean’s heart start pumping faster. Castiel seems nice but he knows from experience that the nicest ones are also the ones you want to avoid pissing off the most.

“Yes, Master. If I wanted to lie I would’ve denied the whole thing.”

Castiel looks away at some random spot behind Dean’s head and he squints his eyes, as if he’s trying to think really hard about all this.

“Tell me more about Ana. About Uriel. Tell me what happened.” He orders.

Dean takes a big breath. He has no reason not to tell the guy. He’s scared about his reaction, though. He wonders why Gabriel never asked him the same question.

“I had Uriel but he wouldn’t talk. Ana was following him so we took her too. We…” Shit. Not we. Don’t involve Sam in this. “I thought she was trying to rescue him. Since Uriel wasn’t saying anything I thought… I thought I’d use her to get to him.”

He can’t help but look away at that, he’s not proud of this.

“So I… did what I had to do until… She… Until it was almost over for her. Uriel never spoke the whole time and he just… When he thought she was dead he told us she had nothing to do with this and she was trying to stop him too. He gave me a speech about how humans were just scums who didn’t even deserved the mercy of slavery. He confessed he was responsible for some of the murders but he didn’t say much. I killed him because I couldn’t let him go and that’s when… She woke up. She…” He sighs because he’s never told anyone what he’s about to tell Castiel. It’s difficult and he’s not sure he can get it out. Castiel is staring back at him now and he just waits. “She begged me to let her go but… The spells we- I used it was… It ripped her grace from her and she wouldn’t have survived and the only thing I could do for her was…” He feels a lump forming in his throat and her screams echoes in his head. “I made it quick. It was over fast I… I’m sorry.”

He looks down because he can’t bear the way the angel’s is looking at him, almost like he understands. Castiel doesn’t say anything though, so he looks up again, unsure of what to do next. The angel is looking away thoughtfully.

Dean eyes his trenchcoat and he’s very well aware that angels don’t feel the heat but it makes him sweat just to see him wear it. The trivial thought makes the lump in his throat slowly go away.

“You deserve your punishment, Dean.” Castiel finally says, still looking away like maybe if he stares at the corn field long enough it’ll spill the secrets of the universe. “But I’m willing to admit that Michael and Lucifer were a bit too harsh on you.” He turns to look at Dean again. “Michael was very attached to Ana. In a way than not a lot of angels experience… He’s filled with grief and I hope you’ll get to see a better side of him in the future, he’s not his usual self these days. And Lucifer… Well, that’s another story that I can’t share with you. If you can avoid him that’ll be better for everyone.”

_Thanks, Captain Obvious_ , Dean thinks. He tries not to gives Castiel a bitch face and he just nods.

“You think the angels murders are linked to what happened to the slaves?” He asks. He can’t help it, he had been working on those murders for so long, if there’s a new lead he wants to know. “Master?” He adds quickly.

He’s not sure if Castiel cares about the title but he doesn’t want to take any chances.

“I can’t tell you that.” Castiel says. But the sad smile he’s wearing is answer enough. “I know your kind Dean, I’ve worked with hunters before. I know you want to find out about this but I wouldn’t ask those kind of things to anyone else if I were you.”

Dean understands what he means but really? Now his curiosity his picked, the angel can’t leave him hanging like this.

“I could help.” He offers. “I know the case. And I’m good at it. ‘Been doing the job since I can walk.”

Castiel turns his back on him.

“Like I said. Don’t talk about this with anyone else.”

Dean is about to protest but the angel is gone in a blink.

~*~

The conversation with Castiel occupies his mind for a little while but it is soon replaced by images of Gabriel, always Gabriel and what he asked Dean to do. Even the Impala isn’t enough to distract him.

He tries not to work on it too much, first because he doesn’t know how long it’ll last and the times he can work on her are the best of his days so he tries to make it last. He only works on her in the early hours of the morning, no more than two or three hours at a time. He’s removing all the bad and broken parts for now. It takes times and he doesn’t need to think for this. Then he usually goes to work with the men, on the gazebo or in the fields. The harvest is almost done though, so he’s started working on the garden. There are some very delicate flowers there, some they have to take good care of if they don’t want them to die, plants of all sorts that even grow during the winter so that the garden will keep its appearance all year long, just changing colors as the seasons change.

But it’s not enough, it’s never enough and after a few days he’s starts to think about the angel more and more. About his hands mostly. About all the things he said while he was touching Dean and Dean is really glad that so far he’s always worked either on his own or in not to confined spaces when he’s with others because he’s caught himself with inappropriate boners once or twice ever since that night.

He doesn’t want to think about it, really, but it’s always there, in the back of his mind. He’s even tried masturbating once or twice, but it’s not the same. The shower time isn’t long enough, for one thing (because he can’t really do that in his bed at night, he’s surrounded by others guys, that would be weird). If he stays too long he gets yelled at and there’s a good chance someone will come barging in and tell him to get his ass out and he can’t risk getting caught in the act. And playing with himself on his own, with only his fingers… It’s difficult, he’s not the most bendy guy there is.

He can’t take it anymore because he wants it and at the same time he can’t believe he’s actually thinking about saying yes. What would Sammy say to that? He would probably be grossed out at first and then he would yell at Dean until Dean remembered himself.

Truth is, he doesn’t know how to fight anymore. He can’t get out of the property, the angel’s study is a mess and it would take him weeks to find some useful information and then what? He’s alone and he’s never been the most clever of the two of them and he knows that without Sam he’s lost. He can’t get out of here.

He really hopes his brother is looking for him and will find something.

But in the meantime if he can have a nice little life and be happy for a while, then why not take advantage of it, uh?

Another week passes then, before he finally runs into Gabriel again. He’s painting the now fully restored gazebo when he sees the angel appear from afar. He’s getting out of the little woods behind the house and Jordan is with him, chatting happily at him. He smiles at her and looks up, nodding to her when he notices Dean.

Dean thought he would be over it by now but the smirk that spread on the angel’s face when he sees him sends him straight back to that night and he has to turn around really quickly and think about old Mrs. Herbert naked to prevent his blood from going all down.

No, no, that’s not cool. That’s really not cool. He starts painting again but he’s distracted. He follows their voices, and he hears they’re coming to him.

“Dean!!” Jordan yells.

He hears her run to him. He closes his eyes for a brief second and curses her mentally. He loves the child but sometimes he just wishes she was a little bit less social. When she’s close he opens his eyes again and turns to her, a fake happy smile plastered on his face.

He doesn’t look at the angel. He can’t.

She hugs him, not caring that’s his clothes are covered in paint.

“Wow, okay. Careful there, I, uh-“

“I missed you!” She interrupts.

She looks up to him and she looks genuinely happy.  

“I missed you too.” He sighs.

And it’s true, but he had other things on his mind and they’re not things he can talk about with her.

“Are you sick?” She asks.

He doesn’t know why she would think that. The angel doesn’t say anything, he stands behind her and he just looks at them.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, Ben says you’re not as rude as before so we figured something happened. He was concerned.”

_Concerned, my ass_. Dean feels himself blush. Ben can be such a little bastard sometimes. He knows, the little jerk, and he has nothing better to do than to talk about it and probably throw innuendos at a twelve year old. Gabriel chuckles. Dean blushes harder.

“Yeah well you can tell him he can shove his concerns where the sun doesn’t shine. I’m fine.”

Great, is in a bad mood now. He turns around and starts painting again.

“There’s actually something Jordan is trying to ask here.” The angel says after a beat of silence.

Dean can’t ignore that so he stops painting and faces them again. He makes sure to only stare at Jordan.

“What?” He asks, a bit exasperated.

He just want the angel to go away already. He can feel the heat radiate from Gabriel’s body and it makes his gut twitch with desire. He doesn’t like it. He’s not into guys but this one… He’s something else.

“Can you make me a pie on Tuesday?” 

She looks very serious all of a sudden.

“What’s on Tuesday?”

“My birthday.”

And he sees a flash of sadness in her eyes but she doesn’t look away. He forgot about it. He feels bad he ignored her all these days. He smiles at her, trying to hide the annoyance he still feels because of the angel.

“Sure. I’ll make a few so everyone can get some.”

“That’s very nice of you, Dean.” Gabriel says.

Dean’s eyes shot up to the angel’s face as he speaks and he blushes again. He looks away but not quick enough apparently. Jordan looks between them both, frowning.

“Did you kiss?” She asks.

Dean almost chokes on his own saliva. The angels laughs.

“Is that a question a slave asks her Master?” He answers.

“Sorry, Master.” She quickly replies.

But Dean can see she’s curious about all this and she really wants to know.

“Why do you ask?” The angel goes on.

“When Ben first kissed a girl he wouldn’t look at her for a whole week after it.” She just says.

Dean is pretty sure his whole face must be bright red by now. He really hopes she won’t learn about her Master’s kinks for a long while.

Gabriel ruffles her hair and she turns to him.

“No, we didn’t kiss. Now let Dean work, alright?”

She looks like she wants to ask a thousand questions but she just nods and she follows him as he pulls her away. Dean dares take a peek at them when he thinks they’re far enough but the angel is still looking at him.

He licks his lips, unconsciously it seems, as he smiles at Dean one last time before he disappears into the house.

God, Dean is not going to hold on for long.

~*~

He’s standing in front of the guy’s study and he doesn’t know what he’s doing here. It’s rather late, he’s still covered in paint from working on the gazebo all afternoon, but he had to come here right away. He’s been thinking about Gabriel all day ever since he saw him earlier. Hopefully Jordan didn’t come back to Dean to ask inappropriate questions and so he had all the time in the world to think about this.

He’s still not sure what he’s going to say to the angel. He needs the wait to end. He just can’t take it anymore, and it’s getting ridiculous.

Finally he knocks. If he doesn’t do this now he won’t ever. Might as well end things as soon as possible.

“Come in…” He hears.

The angel sounds distracted. Dean pushes the door open and sheepishly lets himself in. Gabriel is scribbling something, absorbed by what he’s doing, and he doesn’t look up. Dean closes the door and stays there, waiting to be noticed.

It takes the angel a few minutes before he’s done and he finally looks in Dean’s direction. When he sees him he blinks a few times and he puts his pen down very carefully.

“Dean. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”

Dean shakes his head ‘no’.

“No it’s… Can I talk to you?”

He feels more and more nervous, especially since he still has no idea if he’s going to say yes or no. He’s scared that either way it’ll make things uncomfortable for him forever. He fiddles with his hands and he feels he’s sweating already. He should probably see a doctor for this, it’s amazing how much he sweats around the angel.

“Sure. Come here.” Gabriel says, gesturing for him to come closer.

Dean does, and the angel stays sited, looking at him with interest and a bit of concern maybe. When he’s as close to the desk as he dares be, Dean takes the Stance but doesn’t look down. He doesn’t opens his mouth though.

He just doesn’t know.

“What’s happening?” The angel asks.

It’s always so dark in here. It’s weird. The little lamps scattered around give an eerie orange glow to the room. This time there’s a candle on the desk and it makes Gabriel’s eyes glisten. They look like they’re made of molten gold like this.

Dean takes a breath. “I’m here to give you my answer.”

The angels face lights up with understanding and suddenly he doesn’t seem so sure of himself anymore.

“I’m listening.”

Just being in here at night it brings back the memories as if what they did had just happened a minute ago and Dean suddenly feels like he’s full of energy. His whole body tingles with need.

“Yes.” He says.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’ll do it. I’ll uh… I’ll be… I mean…” He huffs. “Don’t make me say it.”

The angel doesn’t move, he seems frozen on his chair like a flesh colored marble statue.

“Are you sure? You’ve had a glimpse of what I like, and I know not a lot of people think it’s-“

“Please don’t. I said yes. I understand, okay? It’s hard enough for me to even… consider something like this, so please don’t try to change my mind.”

Gabriel shifts in his chair.

“You understand it wouldn’t be a one-occurrence thing, right? You’ll need to be available at any time, and there are a number of rules I’d want you to follow.”

Dean nods. “Fine with me.”

He tries not to wriggle too much but now that he said yes he knows it’s what he wants. He wants it so bad he wonders what the angel is going to do to him tonight. He hopes they can get to it fast.

“Are we okay?” He asks when the angel doesn’t say anything else. He looks stunned.

“Y-Yes. Thank you Dean. You’re…” He takes a breath. “Incredible!” He sighs. “I didn’t thought you would-... But here you are.”

But he doesn’t move. He doesn’t do anything and Dean just wants him to puts his hand on him already. They look at each other, and Dean waits for Gabriel to do something. Or say something at least. The weird thing is that the angel is looking back at him like he’s the one waiting for Dean to move. After a while the angels lean back on his chair.

“You can… Go, Dean. Thanks.”

_What?_ Dean gives him an interrogative look.

“O-Okay.”

“What?”

“Nothing, I thought… Sorry.”

Gabriel looks surprised but a playful smile finally graces his face.

“Ah, nah. Not in the mood tonight, sorry. I know I don’t look like it but sometimes I do actual work.”

He looks so smug. Dean feels a blush coming to his face. Damn. He hates being so needy.

“Sorry, Master. I’ll just uh-“

“Yeah, you should go to bed. I’ll call you when I need you.”

“Okay. Uh.” He walks to the door. “Good night.” He utters as he opens it.

Great. Just great. He almost runs down the stairs and he feels like the shame is written all over his face and he hopes he won’t run into anybody because he’s sure they would know. And the bastard angel, he had to rub it in his face. He could have- He should have-

Dean is so frustrated he can’t think straight. Soon he reaches his room and he tip-toes inside. Ben is the only one still up, reading a book. He gives Dean a curious look but nothing else. The others are asleep, apparently. And Jordan is in his bed.

Awesome. He sits on the edge of the bed and tries to take a few slow breaths. Once he feels calm enough, he slides next to Jordan and lie down as carefully as possible. She opens one sleepy eye and when she sees it’s him she nuzzles close and drapes an arm and a leg around him. She’s so innocent. And lost. She reminds him of Sam. But at least she’s happy. She’s always so happy. It can only means the angel really is a good guy, and so Dean has nothing to fear. He only has things to expect.

He plants a kiss on her head and hugs back. It’s gonna be okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.

~*~

It’s happening. He was working on the Impala this morning when Bobby brought him a note. A sealed note. Great way to show the whole house he’s now the angel’s bitch. But even when Bobby quirked a curious eyebrow at him he was too excited to feel shame again. It was happening.

**11pm. Tonight. Go to my chambers. Don’t be late.**

That’s what the note said.

And now there he is and he feels like his insides are throwing a party. He knocks at the door and it’s really hard to keep a straight face when he hears the angel’s voice on the other side of it, telling him to come in.

He does, not too fast so that he won’t look like he’s been waiting for this all day long and closes the door behind him, but nobody’s here. The room is huge. There’s a giant four-poster bed on his left, covered in red silk. Dean raises an eyebrow at it. It looks like something from a bad porno but he kinda likes it. He tries not to smile and keeps looking around. There’s an empty space in the middle of the room, and the floor there is covered in thick rugs. It looks really comfy. On the right there’s a fireplace in the wall and a small grey couch is facing it. Dean can see some blankets are laid around it with lots of pillows.

Great. Three playgrounds in sight so far, and they all look promising. The room is dark as Gabriel likes them, it’s only lit by some small lamps hanged all around the walls. It makes it all look like a really friendly sex dungeon. Add some chains to it and it’d be perfect.

“Stay where you are.” Gabriel says.

Dean turns to his left where the voice came from. The angel is getting out of a hidden room on the left of the bed. Suddenly he’s nervous again. It’s starting.

The angel walks slowly to him, hands behind his back but this time he’s standing straighter and he looks more commanding than ever. He’s smirking but it looks more predatory than anything else. Dean swallows hard and he waits. He forgot to take the Stance and now he’s not sure he should move.

“When you come in here the first thing I want you to do is take off your clothes and put them in that box.” He indicate a small wooden box on the floor next to Dean. “Go on.”

Oh, okay. So yeah, it’s really starting then. He takes off his shirt, folds it as best as he can and puts it in the box. He does the same with his pants and straightens up. He hasn’t bothered to put on underwear so he stands naked and he feels a chill run up his body.

“Good. Now the second thing you have to do before I come in is go in there…” He points at the door he just came from. “That’s the bathroom. Sometimes we’ll stay for more than a night. A couple of days, maybe more when you’ll be used to it, so you can use it as much as you want, provided I give you permission. I want you to wash yourself. You’ll find some instruction papers on how to do that. There’s everything you need, and I want everything in its right place when you leave the room. Today you can take your time but I want it over under ten minutes after that. I’m not a very patient man…”

Dean eyes him anxiously. It all seems very complicated. He’s never done anything like this before. And he’s done some pretty kinky shit in his time.

“Go. I’ll explain the rest when you’re done.”

Dean goes and it feels like he forgot how to walk. When he’s finally inside he closes the door and he lets out a big breath. This is so, so fucked up. But he’s already enjoying it. God.

He looks around and sees two sheets of paper covered in plastic hanged on the wall in front of the door. There’s a shower cabin on the right, a big bath on the left, a toilet next to the shower and a sink. There’s also a little drawer on his immediate right and he bends down to examine it. There are some towels in it, and some accessories he’s not sure he can identify. He takes a little plastic round thing with a long sort of pipe on top. He squeezes it a few times and it makes a funny sound. He turns to look at the instruction papers and he sees there’s a drawing of the thing he’s holding.

 “Enema…” Oh. Oooh. Awesome. He looks at it and he sighs. Right, he doesn’t have all night. Might as well get to work.

~*~

When he goes out of the bathroom he feels clean from the inside out (pun intended. Might as well get a laugh out of it, even if it’s a mental one) and it’s really weird. Walking around someone else naked is also weird. 

Gabriel is standing at the foot of the bed and he smiles reassuringly at Dean.

“Took you less time than I thought; I hope you did it properly.”

Dean shrugs. “I hope so. I tried.”

The angel nods approvingly. “Come here. Kneel here, facing me.”

He obeys and kneels, sitting on his heels.

“Good. Part your knees a little more. Right. Just like this.” The angels pushes Dean’s knees apart with his bare feet. “You can put your hands on your thighs or in your back, whatever feels right, except if I tell you otherwise.”

Dean let his hands fall on his thighs and takes a few second to look at the angel. He’s wearing a plain black t-shirt, not very tight but not large either, it just highlights the contour of his body in a nice way. His pants are black too, they kinda look like tuxedo pants. He looks more relax than Dean‘s ever seen him be. Maybe it’s because he usually wears a lot more clothes. It’s odd to see him barefoot and without long sleeves.

“Now I know you don’t like calling me by my title so outside of here I let it slip but when we’re here together, I’m your Master. Whatever you do, if you need to answer me, you need to use the word. Is that understood?”

Dean keeps staring at him. He’s a bit in awe of all this, even if still a little anxious and scared. He’s mostly excited.

“Yes Master.”

It doesn’t feel like any other time. Here it fits him, Dean thinks. He starts to get the familiar feeling that he’s floating, slowly going out of his body. Calling a guy his Master in this context it’s a lot less demeaning than he thought it would be and it feels right. He feels desire run along his body.

“Good boy.” The angel smiles.

His heart flutters.

“When you’re ready to start, you come and kneel here, and you wait for me. Sometimes things come up and I can’t come right away. Or sometimes I’ll just feel like making you wait. In any case you’re not allowed to move from that spot until I say so. You don’t even get up to pee, you take care of that before you come in. I suggest you stop drinking anything but water a few hours before we meet. I also want you to start eating a bit healthier from now on or you won’t make it till the end of the year.”

Dean opens his eyes wide at that. What is the angel planning to do with him, seriously? Gabriel smirk back at him.

“I know, it’s scary when I say it like that but I promise you’ll enjoy every second of it.”

Oh, he’s so ready to believe that. He licks his lips and it makes Gabriel laugh.

“You’re not very patient too, are you?” He teases.

“No Master.” He whispers.

He can’t get his voice out. His throat is too dry.

“Okay, get up.”

He’s not touching Dean, he keeps his hand behind his back as Dean struggles to stand up and he walks to a spot in the middle of the room, right in the middle of all the rugs there. Dean follows. The angel waves his hand and Holy Shit! Actual chains with handcuffs hanging at the end of them come down from the ceiling. Oh.

“Do you trust me?”

He nods. Oddly, here, he does.

“Give me your hands.”

Dean lifts his arm, and he sees he’s shaking.

“It’s going to be okay, Dean. I’ll take good care of you. I do this for fun, you understand?”

Dean nods again. He can’t talk anymore, it’s overwhelming. He’s almost gone now. Dean is flying away, being replaced by desire and excitement. Gabriel – the Master, he thinks. It sounds so right – helps him raise his arms above his head and binds his wrist with the cuffs. The chains lower a bit, letting Dean stand flat on his feet, giving his arms some slack. He feels silly, but he goes with it.

“Heavens, look at you!” Gabriel whispers, almost reverent. “You have no idea what you’re giving me, Dean. You’re so beautiful like this…”

Dean tries to keep looking into his eyes but it’s difficult. He feels almost drunk. The angel puts his hand on Dean’s cheek and stroke the bottom of his face with his thumb.

“You’re feeling a bit out of it, right?”

Dean nods.

“Good. That’s good. What you’re experiencing it’s perfectly normal. It’s called head space. It means you’re responsive, it’ll help you relax and enjoy things, okay? But you need to keep focusing a little, alright? Can you focus for me?”

Dean blinks a few times, he tries to come back as much as he can.

“Yes Master.”

The words roll pleasantly on his tongue.

“Good. Good, now, are you comfortable?”

Dean looks up and tugs in the cuffs a bit. The inside is padded so it doesn’t cut his wrist. He nods.

“If you feel like it’s hurting just hold on to the chains. See here? There’re handles around it so it won’t hurt your hands.”

Dean looks again. He tries it, but it easier to let his weight be carried by the cuff instead of holding himself. He looks back at Gabriel, not doing anything to show his impatience. Usually he would have made a snarky comment in that situation. But this is different. He still feels a bit ridiculous standing like this, and he knows if they keep talking instead of doing something he’s going to get out of the state of mind he’s in and he’s going to back off.

The angel seems to understand and he steps closer. He bends over until they’re noses are almost touching.

“I’ve been wanting this since the first time I laid eyes on you at the Market.” He whispers against Dean’s mouth.

He stays there and Dean waits but it’s unbearable. He just wants something to happen. He feels like his skin is on fire. Just hanging here in the middle of the room, naked and so close to the angel he can feel the heat radiating from him, it’s killing him.

“Tell me what you want, Dean.”

He feels like his lips are glued together but he still forces himself to open his mouth.

“Touch me. I want you to touch me… Master.” He manages.

He feels the blush come back to his face but it’s less strong somehow. It only lasts a second and he tries to relax. Slowly, the angel moves his head away and puts his lips on Dean’s collarbone, but he keeps his hands behind his back. He sucks at Dean’s skin here for a while and it feels like heaven to Dean. The angel’s mouth is so, so hot. It’s amazing.

He moves then and plants a few kisses down Dean’s chest until he reaches his left nipple and he starts licking the flesh here. Dean keeps looking at him because truly he can’t look away. It’s fascinating. He feels his blood pumping in his veins, he hears it in his ears, and his breath quickens. He’s so focused on the angel’s mouth that he doesn’t notice his hands are on Dean until they slip on each side of him, tickling his ribs and it makes his body jerk a little.

Gabriel looks up, a devious smile on his face.

“Ticklish?”

Dean tries to shrugs but the position he’s in prevents him. The angel chuckles in response and get back to kissing Dean’s chest, down his torso until he has to kneel to plant small kisses right under Dean’s belly button.

He’s kneeling in front of Dean. The absurdity of the scene makes Dean feel dizzy.

Suddenly, with the angel’s mouth so close to his dick he realizes he’s hard. Must have been for a little while because it’s starting to hurt a bit. He can’t believe he hasn’t noticed until now. Everything feels so intense it’s like his brain can’t catch up with everything and has to focus on one thing at once.

Gabriel keeps kissing his way down and he’s taking care of Dean’s inner thigh now. Dean’s dick gives an interested twitch.

“I’m going to tie your ankles now.” The angel says, looking up at Dean.

He seems to be looking for a sign that it’s okay so Dean nods.

“With this.” Gabriel adds.

And there’s a long bar of metal in his hand that definitely wasn’t here a second before. There’s a cuff on each side of it.

“Is this okay?” He asks.

He looks up to Dean like he’s waiting for a sign of approval. Dean doesn’t know why he’s asking for his permission but he finds it reassuring and it makes things easier. It makes him feel less anxious about all this somehow. 

“Ye- Yes Master.” Dean says.

Gabriel smiles at him and puts a small kiss on his thigh.

“It’s called a spreader bar.” He says as he sits back on his heels and hold the bar up. “You can guess what it’s for, I think.” He winks and Dean can’t help but huff a laugh.

Yes. Yes he can guess, and he can imagine all the things people can do with it.

“Spread your legs, as far as you can. But don’t let it pull on your muscles, okay? You’re going to stay in that position for a while and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Dean parts his legs like he’s told. He doesn’t really know if it’s enough, he doesn’t feel any pain like this for now. The angel slides the bar behind his legs and cuffs one of his ankle. When he’s done he pushes Dean’s other leg a little, making them spread a bit farther from one another. He cuffs Dean’s other ankle and sits back, looking at Dean like he is a beautiful Christmas tree he’s just done decorating.

“Beautiful.” He says with a smile.

Hanging like this, his body spread wide, he feels a bit exposed. But he’s starting to get used to being naked and he still feels like he’s half-here so the embarrassment is easy to ignore.

“We’re not going to do a lot with it today, I just want you to get used to the feeling of being tied up, okay?”

He nods. No crazy stuff tonight. Good.

When the angel start kissing him again and sliding his hands up his body though he starts getting anxious again. He’s never done it with a guy before. He said yes to this so obviously he prepared himself mentally and he knows at some point there might be some things involving his butt that he never thought would happen but now it’s all real, so real and he’s kind of scared. He knows he wants it, he’s not so sure he wants it right away anymore.

The angel seems to feel he’s getting agitated and he gently strokes Dean’s side, kissing his way up again slowly until he’s standing again and he’s kissing Dean’s neck.

“It’s okay Dean, there’s nothing to be scared of.”

He keeps kissing Dean right on that perfect spot just below his ear and Dean feels himself melt.

“I know I- uh… Sorry. Master. I’m just nervous.”

The angel steps closer and his keep stroking Dean’s side and back.

“Don’t overthink it.” He whispers.

Dean tries. He tries to empty his mind and only focus on the angel’s mouth, on his hands. He’s so hot all over, Dean wishes he could at least remove his shirt so that he could feel the same heat against his whole body. The fabric of the angel’s pants brushes his dick and he almost moan at the contact.

Gabriel keeps kissing his way around Dean, purposefully ignoring Dean’s lower body, on his chest again, then on his ribs, until he’s on Dean’s back and Dean can’t see him anymore.

“Close your eyes.” It’s said as an order, and so he does. “I’m the only one you need to worry about. I’m your Master. You need to please me, that’s your only purpose here. I want you to focus on me. It would please me very much. Can you do that for me, Dean?”

Dean listens very carefully and really he gets it. Yes, he does. He really wants to please his Master right now. He knows if he does it’s going to be so good for him too.

“Yes Master.” He whispers.

He’s overwhelmed but that out-of-body feeling again. With his eyes closed, he can only hear Gabriel’s commanding voice. It makes his blood boil and his gut twist in a pleasant, exciting way.

“Good. You’ve been a very good boy so far, Dean. I’m so happy with you tonight… I can’t wait to show you how much.”

Dean can almost feel the excitement radiating from the angel and he can’t wait either. He feels like he’s flying.

Slowly, almost intimately, the angel covers his back in kisses, giving a lick here and there, making Dean shiver when his tongue runs on a ticklish spot. Soon his mouth is on the back of Dean’s thigh and he sucks at the skin here until it hurts a bit and Dean knows there’ll be a mark in the morning.

He seems to pull back for a second but suddenly his hands are on Dean’s butt cheeks and he spreads them out. The simple action sends a burst of pleasure up Dean’s body and he almost moans. His heart is beating really fast he realizes, and he can almost feel his blood pumping all the way to his dick. It hurts a little but it's so, so good at the same time.

Suddenly, Gabriel’s tongue his on his hole, wet and hot and perfect and the spark of pleasure he gets from it makes his knees jerk but he can’t move his legs because of the spreader and he can’t bend them either because the chains are holding his body upright.

He’s stuck like this and it’s both amazing and painful. The angel gives another lick, slowly, but this time he’s ready and he does his best to keep still. It’s better that way, he realizes. If he moves too much it pulls on his arms. The angel keeps pulling on his cheeks as he’s eating him out. Dean feels his pleasure building in his whole body, but it’s nothing he’s ever experienced before. His dick is painfully hard now, and he’s dying to touch it, or to have the angel touch it, but at the same time there’s an incredibly hot tongue on his ass and he feels his balls tighten under the pleasure.

He’s panting hard now, and he so wants to let it all out, to be able to curse aloud like he’s used to but he can’t. He knows he can’t because the Master hasn’t said he could.

The angel hums against his hole and he can’t hold the little yelp that comes out of his mouth.

“Heavens, I could eat you out all night long.” He says. He pushes his tongue inside. “Your ass is so good, Dean. You’re so good. Will you hold on a bit longer for me? I don’t want to stop tasting you yet…” He pushes his tongue in again and this time it slides in a bit more easily. He twirls it around a bit and he pushes his mouth against Dean’s hole, letting his tongue run up and down at a steady pace.

Dean can’t take it anymore. It’s too good. His ass feels like it’s on fire, it burns but at the same time there’s so much pleasure gathering there he doesn’t want it to stop, ever. He wants to spread his legs further but he can’t. It’s almost torture.

“Dean… Answer me.”

“I don’t think I can- ah!”

As he speaks the angels starts going faster.

“Don’t come right away, I’m not done. Can you promise me you won’t come?”

Dean’s whole body feels too hot. He’s shaking and there’s so much pleasure he’s not sure he’s going to survive it.

“I don’t know, Master, I don’t know, I don’t kn- God!”

The angel goes even faster and Dean feels dizzy with pleasure.

“I’ll let you enjoy it a little while longer if you promise me you won’t come. You have to promise and I’ll help you.”

He flattens his tongue against Dean’s ass and he picks up his rhythm again.

“Yes, yes I’ll hold on, Master, please, I’ll try, please, please-“

It’s so not like last time. Last time he thought his orgasm was too strong but this time it’s even worse. He can feel it coming and he’s so close, it’s shooting up from the depth of his gut, ready to explode any second now and he knows he won’t be able to hold it.

But Gabriel’s hand slid between his thighs and he takes a hold of Dean’s dick, right at the base, and he squeezes hard. Miraculously it stops the orgasm from coming without holding the pleasure back with it and Dean starts letting out little helpless whines because it’s too good. It’s too good, and he’s so relieved he hasn’t come like the Master told him he’s almost sobbing.

The angel slows the pace of his tongue and the pleasure isn’t as strong, but it’s just as blissful. Then the tongue disappears again and Dean is almost tempted to open his eyes and look over his shoulder but he doesn’t. Soon a thumb starts rubbing at his hole, and it’s still good, but it takes the orgasmic feeling at a more reasonable level.

“Bend over.” The angel says.

Dean wants to, he really does but he’s tied up really good, his whole body is already spread upright and he knows he can’t. He doesn’t know what to do.

The hand on his dick squeezes harder.

“Dean. Bend over.”

“I can’t, Master.” He tries.

He doesn’t want to displease the Master but he can’t. He knows he can’t.

“Of course you can. Do you think I would ask you if you couldn’t? You just have to take a step back and get on your toes.”

He _just_ has to…? God, does he think it’s that easy? He really wants the angel to let him come though, so he takes a breath and takes a step back, one leg at a time. It makes him pull on his arms a bit, he feels his shoulder tense so he tries to relax them. Then he gets on his toes and pushes his butt out as much as he can.

“See? You’re perfect Dean… I wish you could see yourself…”

Dean feels it’s putting a strain on his thighs but so far it doesn’t hurt. The angel starts rubbing a finger against his hole again, and this time it feels cold and a bit slick. He pushes a first knuckle in, and Dean tries to get use to the intrusion. It’s a lot weirder than a tongue.

“Relax, Dean. Focus on me, remember? Forget about you, focus on what I’m doing.”

Yes. Yes, he can do that. He can focus on the finger slowly pushing inside of him, twisting its way in. He takes deep breaths through his nose, willing his muscles to relax. There’s sweat trickling on his temples, he wishes he could sweep it away but he doesn’t dare move.

“That’s it, Dean. Just like this.” The angel says as he let his finger slide out, then pushes in again, as carefully as the first time.

He keeps doing it and Dean can feel the pleasure coiling tightly inside of him. His thighs are starting to hurt a bit and he can’t really feel the tip of his toes anymore but he doesn’t really care. Suddenly there’s a second finger with the first one trying to get inside and he feels himself tense again for a second or two. But it doesn’t last long when the fingers push all the way in and stay there for a while, just spreading the muscles inside, getting them used to the intrusion.

“Ah, Dean…” Gabriel whispers. Dean can hear he’s a bit out of breath. “That’s so beautiful. I wish you could see this. It’s like you were made for me. I can’t wait to see how much you can take…”

To be honest, Dean can’t wait either. He never thought it would be that good. And he surely never thought he would take that much pleasure in pleasing someone. Gabriel’s words feel like a physical caress, sending little burst of pleasure along his body every time he praises Dean.

“Do you want to find out how much your ass can take, Dean?”

He starts pushing his fingers up and down, keeping a steady rhythm, but it’s so, so good and Dean already reached a near climax before and he feels it coming back.

“Yes Master.” He almost whines.

The angel keeps his grip on the base of Dean’s cock and quicken the pace of his fingers. Dean is panting now, and he’s keeping his eyes shut so tight he’s starting to see stars.

“Have you ever played with yourself, Dean?”

He’s so gone, it takes a few seconds for the words to reach his brain. He forces himself to focus. He realizes the angel is not asking if he’s already jerked off, because that would be absurd to assume he hasn’t.  

“N-No Master, not before- ah! Not before I came here.”

“Tell me what you did.”

This is so hard, trying to get out coherent sentences while the angel’s fingers are probing at his ass. He opens his mouth but only a moan comes out.

“Answer me.” The angel orders as he crooks his fingers.

He hits a spot Dean didn’t know he had and the pleasure is too much for a second and it makes him cry out.

“I- god… I tried-“He can’t, he just can’t talk and he certainly can’t say those things aloud. “Master, please…” He begs. He doesn’t even know what he’s begging for.

“Did you finger yourself?”

He keeps pushing his fingers in and out and in and out, and Dean wonders if he’s avoiding the special Spot on purpose or not.

“Y-yes Master. Yes.”

“Did you think about me?”

Of course he did. He thought about the possibilities and about that moment, right now, about the sweet pleasure coursing through his veins like little bursts of orgasmic electricity.

“Yes Master!”

“Good.” He hits the Spot again and Dean almost sobs. “I’m so pleased with you Dean. You have no idea how that makes me feel…”

Suddenly he slows down, pulls out and a third finger tries to push in with the other two. It’s not going to fit. He knows it’s not. But he can’t help pushing back on them anyway and the fingers slowly slide in.

And it fits and it’s too much but too little at the same time. He’s never felt that stretched out before and he feels his ass clenching around the fingers once and he tries to relax again. His thighs are starting to shake, and he doesn’t dare move. Gabriel doesn’t move his hand, he just twists his fingers around until it doesn’t burn so much anymore and Dean gets used to it.

“I love watching you opening up for me like this… You’re so tight, I can’t wait to see you all loose when I’ll be done with you…”

The words go straight to the pit of his stomach. That’s a kind of dirty talk he never thought he would enjoy but oddly he does. He does, so much!

He hears he’s whining now, trying to ask for more without words, and he’s kind of amazed at himself. He feels like he’s not the one controlling his throat anymore, like he’s feeling himself from the outside. It’s so good. He pushes on the fingers, trying to get the angel to move, even if it pulls on his shoulders, he doesn’t care. It hurts but it’s good, and he just wants the angel to do something.

“There’s still a few toys I want to try on you, but you’ve been so good so far, I think I’ll let you come this time. Would you like that?”

Dean feels a tear roll down his cheek, he doesn’t know where it’s coming from. He’s so relieved…

“Yes!” He says, louder this time. “Yes, please, Master!”

“Alright then…” He starts moving his fingers again and Dean let his head fall on his chest. “You can come whenever you like, Dean.”

He wants to say thank you but the hand on his dick starts moving too, pulling his shaft back between his legs. It puts pressure on his balls too and the pleasure is nothing like he’s ever experienced. It’s like his whole body is on fire, a delicious kind of fire that takes roots under his balls, in his ass, in the pit of his stomach every time the angel touches that sweet spot inside of him and he can’t hold it back. He lets himself go, lets his voice come out and the more he does, the faster the angel goes.

The orgasm is coming back full force, even stronger than before. Dean feels it grow inside of him, and his first instinct is to hold it back but he remembers he can come this time and he lets it grow and grow and grow, and focuses on the fingers in his ass and the hand on his cock stroking him at an almost punishing pace and that’s all it takes.

He comes, hard, keeping his eyes shut, he cries out as he does and he feels his dick pulse and his ass clench around the angel’s fingers but this time the angel isn’t taking them away and he keeps applying pressure on his prostate and he can’t, it hurts, it hurts and he starts whimpering.

“Please, please Master, please…” He hears.

It’s his voice, he knows, but it doesn’t register as being him, not really. He’s too far gone. The fingers disappear from his ass and he let out a sigh, letting his weight rest on his wrists. The hand on his dick keeps stroking, slowly, only brushing the sensitive skin there, and it makes him jump a little every time it grazes the tip. He’s dizzy and suddenly he feels exhausted.

“You’re opening up, look at this!” The angel exclaims.

Dean feels his tongue slide slowly from his sack to his sensitive hole and he half moans, too tired to protest.

“I know it was a lot, Dean, but we’re not done yet. You understand?”

His skin is so hot and he’s sweaty and he just can’t do it anymore. He needs a bit of time at least to gather some strength.

“Dean.”

The angel’s keeps stroking his dick and he starts to lick his way inside Dean again.

“Yes Master.” He says, automatically.

He doesn’t even know what the question is. The tongue on his ass is incredibly hot and it burns. He wants to get away from the angel, from the cuffs, from everything. He can’t, he just can’t he needs some time. His arms and legs hurt, but it’s not pleasant anymore.

“You’ve been so good, Dean, you’re not going to give up on me now, are you? You’re doing so great. I’m so proud of you.”

He keeps teasing Dean with his tongue and Dean feels his dick starting to fill with blood again. No, no, he can’t, it hurts, he can’t do it again. Another time maybe but tonight he can’t do it anymore. He never thought he could have orgasms that powerful and right now he just can’t. He feels tears of exhaustion sliding down his cheeks.

“Please…” He sobs. “Please, Master, I can’t…”

“I told you it would be hard the first few times but I know you can do it, Dean. I’m not done, can you go through another round for me? Please, Dean.”

He said please and it sends another weak spark of desire along Dean’s body. Physically, he can’t. Maybe he would want it any other time but now… He doesn’t know, he doesn’t think he can because right now he just want to rest for a bit.

“P-Please, I need a minute, Master, please. I’ll tr-try I swear, I need a minute.” He manages.

“No, Dean.” The angel answers, his voice all commanding now. He pushes two fingers inside Dean again. Dean lets out a groan. It hurts but it’s starting to be good again. “Just one more round. Dean, you said yes to this, don’t give up on me now.”

His dick is half-hard by now, and the angel keeps stroking lightly and it sends little sparks of painful pleasure up Dean’s spine.

“Dean, talk to me.”

He nods frantically. He doesn’t dare open his eyes yet.

“O-okay, Master, yes, I’ll try, please…” He doesn’t know what he’s pleading for but it feels like it’s what he should say.

“Thank you, Dean.” The angel says. Dean can hear the smile in his voice. “You’re so good for me, I love it.”

He keeps pushing his fingers in and out, slowly, almost lovingly and he whispers encouragements and praises and he kisses Dean’s lower back, until Dean feels his body relax a little and his shoulder and legs doesn’t hurt as much. The pain recedes and he can only feel it if the angel goes too fast.

“I’m going to use a toy now.” Gabriel says after a few minutes of silence. “You’re not allowed to come until I say so, you understand?”

Dean feels calm now, his skin has cooled down a bit and his heartbeat is back to normal. The hands on his body are just pleasant now, and the angel is not going too fast and he’s not putting too much weight onto his thighs and arms so it doesn’t hurt anymore. He wishes they could stay like this for a little while longer, it’s really nice. The pleasure is here but it’s steady and bearable.

“Yes Master.” He whispers.

He doesn’t think he can come again anyway.

The angel pulls his fingers out and he lets go of Dean’s cock and Dean can’t help but sigh a little in relief. Soon there’s a cold, seemingly huge object against his ass and he tenses again.

“Relax, Dean, I’m not going to hurt you.”

He wants to believe him, he really does but the thing seems scary big and he can’t help but tense even more as the angel pushes the object a bit. It’s not going to get in, it’s too big. He tries to get away from the thing.

“Dean, focus. Focus on me.”

He can’t. It’s too big, it’s not going to fit or if it does it’s going to hurt, he knows it. The angel’s hand soothingly strokes his upper thigh.

“Dean. Relax for me, will you?”

“I can’t, it’s too big.” He says. There’s panic in his voice and he pushes his hips up front to get away from the thing again.

The angel slaps his ass all of a sudden and he feels the sting spread along his cheek. He gasps.

“Dean, bend over.”

He shakes his head ‘no’.

“Dean, I’m not going to say it twice.”

He doesn’t want to anger the angel and judging from the cold tone of his voice he’s not happy. Dean huffs and, reluctantly, he pushes his butt out again.

“Now, I want you to focus on my voice.” The angel says as he places the object against Dean’s hole again. He doesn’t push it, he just turns it around, letting Dean get use to the feel of plastic against his skin. “It’s going to take a little while but it’s going in, and I promise you you’ll like it.” He pushes a bit and Dean feels his ass clench to prevent the intrusion. “You have to let go and relax. It’s just muscles, it’s going to adjust to anything, you know it’s true. Relax.”

The angel’s voice is nice again, and Dean tries to focus on it. He tries to stay as open as he can, and he takes slow breaths through his nose.

“Good. You’re doing great, Dean.” The angel says as he pushes again. It’s just pushing the skin inside, but it’s not going in. Dean tries not to panic again and he takes another breath. “That’s so beautiful, you have no idea how much. One day we’ll try having you watch too, would you like that?”

Dean can’t imagine how they could do that. The toy keeps pushing against his skin but it’s still not going in. He feels the angel’s hand pulling one of his cheek apart and it makes the toy slip better in.

“I… I uh… I don’t know, Master.” He says.

He’s trying to control his breathing but it’s difficult.

“I’m sure you’d like it. You’re so good, I know you’d do it for me, am I right?”

He pushes again and suddenly Dean feels the tip sliding in, get past the ring of muscles at his entrance in one swift move and he lets out a surprised muffled cry.

“There we go!” The angel says cheerfully.

The thing feels so huge, Dean doesn’t think it’ll go very far. But he doesn’t say anything because the sensation is surprising but not unpleasant. His ass clenches involuntarily around it and he feels his skin swallow the toy, almost pulling it in.

“See? You’re hungry for it, Dean, You barely need my help.”

He sounds really satisfied and it makes Dean’s guts twist in a pleasant way.

He pushes again and it takes a few minutes of Gabriel telling Dean how good he is and how beautiful he looks and how perfect the angel finds him but eventually he gets almost the whole thing in. When he’s done Dean hears him stand up and he lets go of the toy.

“Hold it in, okay? Don’t drop it or I’ll have to punish you.”

Dean nods and he focuses on the task. He’s so focus he hasn’t noticed the angel has stepped in front of him until he speaks again and his voice is coming from another direction.

“Open your eyes, Dean.” He says gently.

Dean does, and it takes him a few second because he had been holding them closed so tightly it feels like his eyelids are glued together. When he finally opens them, he can’t see shit. There are tears in his eyes and he blinks them away until he can see the angel’s face. He’s smiling at him.        He reaches for Dean’s face and sweeps the tears away with his thumb.

“How does it feel?” He asks.

Dean is taken aback by the question. He’s been focusing on getting the thing to fit inside of him so much he’s forgotten to actually take the time to feel it. Which is weird. It’s not how a human body is supposed to work, right? He tightens his ass around the toy a few times, trying to see if it makes him feel anything. It’s really big, so at first it had felt like he was numb from the inside but now he can actually feel the cold plastic inside. There are little bumps on the things, it’s not unpleasant. It doesn’t hurt at least.

“Uh… Okay, I guess?” The angel is still smiling but he’s giving him that look that means he’s forgotten something. “Master.” He adds.

“Good.”

The angel takes a step toward him and they’re really close again. He presses his body against Dean’s and one of his hand reaches behind to hold the toy again. Dean can feel he’s hard too. Must have been for a while now. He can’t imagine how painful it must be. But he doesn’t rub against Dean, he just slips his other hand in between them and take a hold of Dean’s dick again.

“You’re ready?” He asks.

Dean nods and he swallows hard. The angel starts stroking his cock first, slowly, and he keeps staring into Dean’s eyes.

“Don’t close your eyes. Whatever you’re feeling I want you to look at me, got it?” His breathing is a bit hard, Dean can feel he’s rubbing himself against his own hand while stroking Dean.

Dean nods. Pleasure is coming fast now. He’s fully hard in record time and he can’t really believe it because ten minutes ago he really thought he would never be able to have sex again.

The angel starts pulling the toy out, carefully, and at first it feels like he’s pulling Dean’s insides with it and it’s really weird. But he doesn’t pull on it too much and he pushes it inside and this, right here, it’s pure bliss. Dean can feel every little bump caressing his inner muscles, setting his nerves on fire. The angel keeps stroking his dick at the same pace and he pulls the toy out, and in again, sometimes he pulls out almost the whole thing, sometimes just a few inches, and he keeps going until Dean has to hold on to the chains to keep himself up straight. He’s panting and moaning with abandon now, he doesn’t even care, it’s too good and somehow it’s lazier than the first time and the orgasm isn’t coming as fast. It’s good because he’s not sure he can hold that one. He doesn’t want to risk anything so he starts holding it back right away, as soon as he feels it gathering in the pit of his stomach.

He’s still staring into the angel’s eyes, and it’s beautiful. It almost feels like seeing the angel like this, frowning with the effort, his face glistening with sweat is adding to Dean’s own pleasure.

“I’m going to let go of the toy now, Dean.” He says, panting. He pushes the toy until it’s almost fully inside and careful pulls his hand away, letting it rest on the small of Dean’s back. “Don’t drop it or I won’t allow you to come.”

Dean can’t help the look of despair that appears on his face. It makes the angel chuckle.

“I’m sorry but that’s the rule.” He goes on.

He starts stroking Dean faster and he keeps very close. Dean can’t help but look at his lips. They’re right here. He’s had some one night stands who didn’t want to be kissed, so it’s not his first time but right now he just wants to kiss the guy. He can’t help it. His lips look soft and he can smell chocolate in his breath.

He forces himself to look up into the angel’s eyes again. It only lasted a second, but the angel probably noticed where he was looking. He doesn’t say anything at that, but Dean sees his eyes darting toward his own mouth for a second too before he looks back up.

The toy is sliding out. He feels it, it’s sliding out so, so slowly. Dean tries to hold it but tightening his ass around it just makes pleasure greater and he can’t do it for too long or he knows he’ll come soon. He tries to pull it up by clenching and unclenching his muscles but it makes stars burst in his vision and he just stops. He can’t help but breath harder, scared it’s going to fall out before the angel tells him he can come. He wants to come, he really wants to, he doesn’t feel the pain anymore and really, it would be so cruel to take that away from him now. He’s so close, so, so close, but the toy is still sliding out, he can feel the little bumps brushing the ring of muscles as they get out and he gives a panicked look at the angel.

“Don’t- don’t drop it.” The angel breathes.

He’s close too, Dean can tell. Surely he’s going to tell Dean he can come soon, right?

The toy is more than half way out now and Dean tries clenching his ass again to pull it up. It just pushes it out a little bit more. He can’t drop it, he can’t, he needs to come.

“Please, Master…” He whimpers.

He doesn’t want to lose it, he doesn’t want the toy to get out. He tightens his muscles around it as hard as he can and it sends a fresh wave of pleasure along his body. He feels goose bumps covering his skin as another inch slides out of his ass, setting his nerves on fire.

“Please, let me come, please, I can’t hold it.”

He shakes with the effort and he’s holding on to the chains so tightly he can’t feel his hands anymore. The angel is looking back at him with a smirk, sweat glistening on his face as he keeps stroking Dean, dragging his orgasm closer with every thrust.

“Don’t drop it Dean.”

Dean wants to cry. But he doesn’t. He’s openly moaning now, even if it goes against everything he is. He’s never been very vocal because it would have been showing some of his real self to his lovers and it’s not something he usually likes to do. But seeing desire burning in the angel’s eye is amazing. It intensifies every little sensation, every little shiver of pleasure, and so he keeps moaning because he can see it sends fire roaming inside the angel.

The toy slips out a little bit more, and Dean feels a little bit closer to his climax. It gets stronger with every passing second and Dean can barely believe it. He wants to come with the thing in his ass. He can only imagine how it would feel. He very much wants to find out.

“Please, Master, please, I can’t hold it, I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry please, let me-”

“Not yet, Dean.”

He can’t, he can’t hold it, it’s too much. His whole body feels like it’s on fire, he feels too hot, the angel is too hot and too close and he feels too many things at once. His arms and thighs are burning too, he feels sweat trickling down his body, and the toy keeps sliding out and it’s too much, too good, he can’t hold the orgasm and focus on the toy at the same time. He can’t.

“I’m going to… Count to ten.” The angel says, still smirking. But his breathing is too harsh and he’s having trouble speaking. He seems to hold his orgasms better than Dean, though. “When I reach ten, you c-can come, a’right?”

Dean only nods. He can’t do anything else.

“If you drop it b-before I reach ten, I’ll stop.”

But he’s going to punish himself too if he stops, isn’t he? It takes Dean’s mind of the pain of holding the pleasure in for a second but it comes back full force now. Ten seconds. He only has to hold on for ten seconds. He wants the angel to come too.

“One.”

The orgasm is right here. He feels it. He tightens his abs, his lower stomach, everything he can to prevent himself from coming.

“Two.”

The toy is still sliding out, he can’t feel the tip is close to the edge of his ass.

“Three.”

It’s heavy, too. The rest of the toy is too heavy, and it’s gonna drop before the angel reach ten and he won’t be able to

“Four.”

Hold it, and he wants to cry at the thought. He doesn’t want to loose it. He clenches his inner muscles as hard as he can. So much pleasure, so, so much

“Five”

Pleasure and he can’t hold it but he has to, and he has to think about the toy and he feels so

“Six.”

Dizzy with the need to come, he doesn’t think anymore, he can’t. He just feels, and he looks at the angel and he knows

“Seven”

That the look on his face must tell a lot right now because the way the angel is looking back, it’s almost like Dean can hear him think, hear him tell Dean that

“Eight.”

He’s a good boy and he can do it. And it’s the most intimate moment Dean has ever been through because he’s just looking into this guy’s eyes and he can’t look away but at the same time everything feels so ridiculous because he’s got

“Nine.”

A dildo up his ass and this guy, his _Master_ , he’s jerking him off and he’s never done something so dirty with someone before but right now it’s just perfect, perfect, right there, right-

“Ten.”

As the word leaves the angel’s mouth he pushes the toy inside, and Dean comes, feeling his muscles spasm around it as it slowly slides in one last time and he barely feels the pulses of his dick because everything is too much. He closes his eyes as white, hot pleasure comes crashing in his entire body in waves and he stops breathing for a second. He’s flying, there’s no other word for it. He’s not here anymore. He’s pleasure, and pain, and sensation and he doesn’t know where he is anymore.

 His stomach spasms again for a few seconds and he’s open his eyes when the pleasure starts slipping away. The angel let his head fall back and closes his eyes as he comes too and it’s the most beautiful thing Dean has seen in a while. He’s always found people’s O’faces were ugly and he concluded that it was how sex worked. It was messy and ugly sometimes and it was the price to pay for a good orgasm or two. But Gabriel doesn’t make a sound, he just closes his eyes, mouth open, almost in disbelief, and Dean forget he’s just came to the height of his pleasure too.

He keeps stroking Dean though, and when he finally looks down and opens his eyes again he stops. Dean looks down and see there’s come everywhere on the bottom of the angel’s shirt. He can’t open his mouth to apologize, though. He’s too tired, and too amazed at what happened tonight. He carefully lets his weight be carried by his wrist again and let out a huge sigh.

Now that it’s over it feels like the world comes crashing down around him and it’s dizzying.

The angel runs a hand through his hair, looking everywhere but at Dean. Dean feels like he got out of the Donjon Master Mood and he’s feeling a bit like Dean is feeling. Not that Dean would know about that, because the angel is very hard to read. He’s smiling, looking as contented as Dean’s ever seen him be so he assumes he did a good job. He doesn’t know what to think, to be honest. He doesn’t want to think. He just had the two most awesome orgasms of his life, and now he feels like he’s floating in a sea of pleasure. He feels… Blissful? But then he feels shame creeping back.

He’s not sure of anything. Except that he’s tired.

The angel bends down and picks up something on the floor from behind him and Dean realizes the toy must have fallen. He can’t feel it anymore.

“It wasn’t that hard, was it?” The angel asks, holding the toy up in front of Dean.

It’s covered in… oil? Lube?... it’s made of transparent plastic and… it’s not as big as Dean would have thought. Roughly the size of a regular penis he’d say. Uh.

“It felt bigger than that.” He breathes, still unsure of how to feel.

The angel grins.

“Ah but that’s why I didn’t show it to you beforehand. Where would have been the fun in that?”

Dean tries to smile, but really, he’s so tired and confused he can’t make his face react.

“Okay, time to get you off that thing.”

Gabriel unchains his wrists and bends down at his feet to do the same with his ankles. Dean looks down at him and once again it strikes him that the angel is half kneeling at his feet. It’s so weird.

Once he’s free he tries to step forward but his legs are too weak and he trips. Gabriel is up in a second and he hold him up until the room stops spinning. Wow.

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.”

He only nods. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to go back in his bed on his own, he already feels shame at the idea of the angel bringing him back to his quarters but he really can’t walk right now. He needs to put on some clothes at least…

But the angel just drags him to his own bed and drops him on it.

“Don’t settle in right away, I don’t want bodily fluids all over my sheets.”

Dean is surprised but doesn’t say anything. He just looks at Gabriel as he goes into the bathroom. He hears the drawer’s door opening, then water flowing. It stops and the angel comes back in the room with a wet towel in hand. He gestures at Dean to push himself up the bed and settle himself against a pillow, which Dean does. The angel then climbs on the bed and starts removing the come from Dean’s stomach. The towel is soft and it feels really good after everything. Dean blushes a bit when the towel disappears between his legs and the angel washes the lube away from his ass.

Gabriel smiles at that.

“You blush too much.” He smirks.

Dean blushes harder.

“Sorry, Master.” He says.

And he realizes he just added the ‘master’ out of reflex, and he’s not really sure how to feel about that. He’s tired and he still feels like his body is on fire. The angel looks like he does any other given time though. He’s not even sweating anymore.

Must be a magical angel thing, Dean thinks.

Gabriel throws the towel on the floor and nuzzles close to Dean until Dean’s head in on his chest and they’re kind of… hugging.

“Hm… Master?”

“Shut up, Dean, enjoy the moment.”

He shuts up as he’s told and, really, it feels nice. He’s too sleepy and still too out of it to protest. It still feels weird, though.

“You went into headspace for the first time, even if you probably haven’t noticed. You need to get down properly. Do you really think I would let you walk away after something like this?”

Dean doesn’t answer. He’s never done anything like this before, so he wouldn’t know. He decides it’s better to trust the angel for now. He shrugs.

“Tell me how you feel.”

He tries to think about it, but it’s like his brain has been scrambled.

“I don’t know.” He answers.

“See. That’s why you need me right now. So I’m going to hold you, and tell you how happy I am right now. And you’re going to listen and you’ll fall asleep in my arms and when you’ll wake up tomorrow you’ll be as good as new, alright?”

Dean nods. Okay, sounds good.

“Good.”

Dean hears the contented smile more than he sees it. His vision his blurry, and he can’t really hold his eyes open anymore. He closes them as Gabriel starts listing all the things he liked about their evening, telling Dean how good he was and how proud the angel is. He blushes a few times, but the more the angel speaks, the easier he feels about what they did.

He falls asleep to the sounds of Gabriel whispering praises in his ear. The last thought that comes to his mind before he does is that he’s never been happier in his life.

 

 


	4. What's done is done

When Dean wakes up the next morning the only thing he feels is confusion. The sheets are too soft, too cool. It doesn’t feel right. He opens one eye and all he sees is red all around.

He opens the other eye, blinks a few times, and he’s greeted by Gabriel’s smirk. The angel is sitting on the other side of the bed, his back against one of the post, an open notebook in his lap. He’s wearing his regular clothes again. Soft brown pants, long sleeve shirt. Like he’s himself again, Dean thinks.

“Morning, Sunshine.” He says, cheerful.

So yeah he slept in the Master’s bed. Awesome. Images, sensations from last night come back to him and he feels a blush coming up but he tries to push it away.

“Uh, hi.” He croaks.

His throat is so dry it feels like it’s made of sandpaper. The angel leans toward him, extending his arm and a glass of waters appears in his hand. Dean takes it, too grateful to say anything about Gabriel’s tendency to make things appear out of thin air. It’s getting kind of annoying to be honest. Dean wonders why he bothers with slaves if he can conjure anything he wants at will. He drinks the whole glass in one go and puts it on the nightstand next to the bed.

“You’ve slept past noon.” Gabriel says.

Dean can’t believe it, but at least if the angel doesn’t say anything it means he’s allowed. But if the others have seen his empty bed and haven’t seen him all morning they probably have a pretty good idea of where he’s been by now. Great.

“Uh, sorry.”

“No need to be. I actually thought you’d be sleeping a lot more. But I guess you hunters don’t need much sleep, uh?”

Dean shrugs as he tries to sit himself up. He’s not a morning person. But Gabriel is his Master and he needs to put some effort into this.

“I guess not.”

His eyelids are still heavy and he has trouble shaking the sleep away. The angel must have seen it because he closes his notebook and gets up.

“Go take a shower. There’s some fresh clothes on the sink. Eat something before you go back to work, I don’t want you fainting in the middle of my fields.”

Dean nods. He crawls toward the end of the bed and tries to get up as the angel walks to the door. But his thighs are really sore and he feels a cramp coming. He hisses a bit, trying to massage his thigh so it won’t hurt that much. He should have stretched before or something. He’ll think about it for next time. The angel stops walking and openly laughs at him.

“Maybe you could, you know…” Dean starts, a bit annoyed. “Use your angel mojo on this while you’re at it, or something?”

The angel quirks an eyebrow at him.

“Please Master?” He adds, but he keeps his tone cocky.

He knows the angel likes it when he’s like that too. And he knows when he’s not mistaken when the angel smiles coyly in response.

“No. That way you’ll think about me for a while.”

Dean sighs.

“Fine.”

He gets up again and carefully walks to the bathroom door.

“And Dean?”

He turns around again; The angel is opening the door, not looking at him.

“Don’t forget about tonight!”

Dean frowns. The angel looks at him like he’s expecting some kind of reaction.

“What’s tonight?”

“Jordan’s birthday, the pies?”

Oh. Yeah, that. He feels guilt coming back. He forgot about Jordan again. But really nobody could blame him after a night like this.

“Of course, yeah. I’ll do it. I promised.”

“Good.” Gabriel smile.

And he lets himself out. Dean sighs again, thinking about what is waiting for him today. At least his butt doesn’t hurt like he thought it would, he won’t have to limp around all day because of a literal pain in his ass. So maybe the others won’t notice anything. He can dream, right?

~*~

He doesn’t hope for long because as soon as he walks down the stairs that lead to the entry hall, four pairs of eyes land on him and he stops.

Mrs. Herbert, Bobby and Charlie are standing in a closed circle, as if they were debating something. Jordan is here too, clinging to Charlie’s pants. She seems to be very happy.

She runs to him as soon as he gets close to them.

“Dean!!”

She jumps into his arms and he has to bite on his lower lips to prevent himself from cursing as he catches her. His thighs hurts so much. _Shit_. _Fuck_. _Son of a bitch!!_

“Hey!” He manages, weakly.

The three adults stare at him. Charlie looks amused. Bobby is frowning and Mrs. Herbert looks as annoyed as usual. He feel his cheeks get hot. Yeah, he really does blush too much.

“Good afternoon?” He tries.

Charlie just smiles, the others don’t react and they all turn around and leave without a word. He looks down at Jordan in his arms. She’s looking up at him expectantly.

“Happy birthday.” He whispers.

She beams when she hears the words.

“You haven’t forgotten!”

“No, I’d never forget something that important!”

She wriggles her feet and he lets her go.

“I wasn’t sure you’d remember now that you’re occupied.” She just says, matter-of-factly as she starts walking toward the kitchen.

He follows her.

“I’m occupied? What do you mean?”

When they enter the kitchen she walks to the coffee pot and pours some in an empty mug. He can’t help but smile at that. She’s making him coffee and he finds it’s kind of cute. He sits in front of the table and wait for her to bring him the mug.

“Well, you’re having sex with the Master, right?” She says as she turns around, her gaze focused on the mug as she walks to the table.

He opens his eyes wide.

“Wow, who told you that?”

“Everyone.” She says as she puts the mug in front of him and goes to fetch the sugar. 

Great. Awesome. He blushes again. She sits in front of him and smiles.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Dean, I’m a teenager now, so I can understand. I’m not a baby anymore.”

“It’s not- It’s not that, Jordan it’s… It’s not something I like to talk about with people, that’s all. You just don’t- You uh… You don’t talk about sex with people like that, that’s not… You can’t, okay?”

He buries his face in the mug.

“Why not?”

She really looks confused.

“Because! It’s just… It’s intimate, okay?”

She frowns a bit but she seems to understand.

“Do you think that’s why Arthur never talked about it and Mama didn’t want to answer when I asked if he was the Master’s pleasure slave?”

He doesn’t know where to look anymore. He wishes he could disappear under the table. Hearing the name of the former Master’s pleasure slave makes something twist unpleasantly in him. No, Dean. You’re not getting jealous of a dead guy.

“I uh… Probably, yeah.”

She looks thoughtful for a moment but then her smile comes back.

“So you like the Master now?”

He’s not going to get away from her. He knows how she is when she wants to know something.

“Yeah, I guess.” He just says.

He keeps sipping at his coffee instead of looking at her.

“I’m happy then! Do you think you’ll fall in love with him?”

He almost spits some of his coffee out.

“What?! No!”

“Why not?”

“Jordan… Seriously?”

She pouts. She’s doing the puppy-eyes thing again. He doesn’t know how everyone around him has the ability to do that. He falls for it every time. And she knows it.

“There’s a hundred reasons why not. I don’t like men. I’ve never fallen in love before. He’s our master, in case you haven’t notice. No slave would be crazy enough to fall in love with his master. And he’s a guy. He’s an _angel_! I can’t- I don’t even know why I’m talking about it with you.”

She shrugs.

“Okay.”

She gets up then.

“See you tonight!”

And she leaves. Dean doesn’t understand kids sometimes; they can be so blunt, like nothing is ever a bother. He envies that kind of innocence. He knows that tonight he’ll have to face everyone and he knows they’re not gonna talk as freely as her but they’re going to judge him and it’s going to be uncomfortable.

But there’s nothing he can do about it now. What’s done is done, right? He quickly finishes his coffee, grabs an apple – even though someone made waffles, they look fresh from this morning and he really, really wants to eat some, but he remembers what Gabriel said – and he goes back to his daily chores.

~*~

He takes two hours in between his work to make three pies. He lets them cool down in the kitchen and he goes back to work after that. And now everybody is inside and he knows Jordan is waiting for him. He hasn’t eaten yet, but he’s not hungry. He feels kind of down, actually. They were just starting to warm up to him and now he’s gonna get the silent treatment again. He feels so lonely here, it only goes away when he’s with the angel. Just thinking about it he knows his father would probably be horrified by all this if he was still alive. Sammy too.

What if Sammy finds him somehow and finds out? He doesn’t want to even consider it. And anyway, the chances that his brother will find him are getting thinner and thinner as the weeks go by.

When he enters the kitchen, the conversations slowly die away, and everyone turns to look at him. He avoids looking back, and he feels himself blush. Even Jordan is silent. She’s sitting on Jessica’s lap and she looks at everyone in turn with curious eyes.

Dean takes a breath. Might as well get everything out of the way know, it’ll at least help them get over it faster he hopes.

“I know what you’re all probably thinking so if we could just-“

“Shuddup and come sit down, we were waiting for you.” Bobby interrupts.

He looks as gruff as usual but when Dean’s stares at him he doesn’t see any judgment in his eyes.

“What?”

“You don’t need to explain yourself, Dean.” Mrs. Herbert comes in. “You’re not the first, probably won’t be the last.”

He dares a look at all of them. Jessica, Charlie, Gilda, Lisa, Victor and even Ben. They all look like they couldn’t care less.

“Oh. Okay.” He rubs at his neck, suddenly feeling silly. He should have expected that, really. “Well… Thanks… I uh… I got all worked up for nothing, uh?” He tries to laugh but he still feels awkward.

“Come and sit down, you idjit! We’re starving here!”

“Your pies look delicious!” Gilda says, changing the subject.

Dean smiles at her as he steps in and takes a sit. He doesn’t hear her voice often, and he’s pleasantly surprised.

“They smell delicious. Doesn’t mean they are.” Ben says, looking smug.

Dean huffs a laugh.

“Well, dig in and you’ll find out!”

“I know they’re good ‘cause he already made me one!” Jordan says proudly.

Everyone start chatting happily again. Bobby and Victor ask Dean questions about the Impala. They even seem a bit jealous that he gets to work on her. The girls are all gathered around Jessica, but Dean can’t hear what they say. Mrs. Herbert just look at them with a small, tired smile while Ben cuts the pie and hands slices around.

For the first time in weeks, Dean feels like he has a family again. It’s really weird, but he can’t help but smile. He keeps smiling as they finish the first pie, then the second. His cheeks start to hurt from smiling and laughing so much but he doesn’t care. He feels warm and contented like he’s never felt before.

For the first time in weeks he doesn’t think about Sam’s fate, about his freedom, or about anything that has kept his mood in the lows all this time. Things are simple here, hard, sure, but at the end of the day he’s happy like he’s rarely been when he was out there in the real world. Here there’s no monster, no demon, he’s free to let himself go a little, get to actually know people, live in a community for more than a few days, and it feels great.

When he realizes what he’s been thinking he feels guilt again. He knows he should try to find a way out but the truth is, he’s not sure he wants to anymore. But he doesn’t have time to get all grumpy and sad again because suddenly someone knocks on the kitchen’s wall and everybody turns around.

The angel stands there, a small smile on his face.

“Hi! Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to drop by and see the birthday girl!”

Dean sees Victor and Bobby exchange dubious looks, and Mrs. Herbert suddenly straightens up. A heavy silence settles in.

“Come here.” Gabriel whispers to Jordan.

Jordan jumps from Jessica’s lap and slowly walks to the angel. She looks unsure of herself for once. The angel puts his hands in his back.

“Okay, choose a hand. Right or left?” He asks with a smile.

She gives him a curious look but Dean sees she takes him very seriously and she frowns as she thinks about it, as if she’s about to make the most important decision of her day. Finally, she points to his right hand.

“Ah! Good choice!”

He takes his hand from behind his back and there’s a box with a bow on it in his hand. He hands it to Jordan who’s looking at him with big, incredulous eyes.

“Come on, take it. It’s a gift. It’s for you.” The angel insists.

She reaches out, her hands trembling. When he’s sure she’s holding the box properly, Gabriel let’s go of it. She just looks at it like it’s some sort of trap that’s going to explode if she moves.

“You know you’re supposed to open it and be all surprised and everything.” The angel deadpans.

But the sarcasms flies over the little girl’s head and she starts breathing harder like she has just done something very wrong.

“No, no, don’t take it like that I’m kidding.” The angel panics a little. “Sh-out, sorry, Jordan, It’s okay. You can open it if you want or you can wait, it’s fine with me. It’s your birthday gift, you do whatever you want with it.”

“Oh.” Jordan just says.

And just like that she calms down. Dean finds it odd that the angel can inspire such fear in her and yet be the only one who can calm her down that fast.

She seems to hesitate but then she crouches down, puts the box on the floor and takes the bow off it. Slowly, like she’s scared of what she’s going to find out, she removes the top. She freezes when she sees what’s inside.

Nobody moves for a while, and finally she looks up at the angel like she can’t believe he’s real.

“It’s mine? For real?”

Gabriel nods. She looks down again and takes her gift out. It’s a dress. A very simple dress, white, with little flowers sewed on the bottom with golden threads. Dean sees Mrs. Herbert take a step toward the angel. She doesn’t look happy.

“Master-“ She starts.

But the angel raises a finger at her.

“Don’t, Camilla. Just don’t, okay? It’s the kid’s birthday, give her a break.”

Mrs. Herbert still looks pissed, Dean can imagine why, but she nods and steps back. He knows she doesn’t want people to indulge Jordan, but how can they not? She looks so happy right now, Dean didn’t thought she could look happier than how she usually was. He sees tears in her eyes but she’s smiling brightly.

She bolts up and run to the angel. He huffs when she throws herself in his arm, hugging him tight, even if Dean knows he probably hasn’t felt a thing. It’s... Thoughtful. He’s never seen any other angel do that. Not that he took the time to get to know an angel before. But Gabriel… He’s special. Dean feels something tug at his heart when he sees the angel ruffle Jordan’s hair and smile almost shyly. He’s kind of contradictory like that. He can be very strong, so commanding one moment, and withdrawn the next and Dean doesn’t know if it’s an act or not, but he likes to think it’s the real deal.

“Okay, okay, Jordan, now there’s some rules that go with that dress, okay?”

Jordan pulls away and looks up to him. She nods.

“You only wear it here, when there’s no guest, and only when you’re not working. You understand?”

She nods frantically again.

“Yes Master! Thank you Master!”

She hugs him again and he chuckles.

“Can I try it on?” She asks.

“Sure. Go!”

She runs to the women’s quarters and Dean can hear her laugh drawing away until she closes the door.

“I still don’t think-“ Mrs. Herbert tries again.

“I said not now!” Gabriel says, his tone cold suddenly.

That’s his ‘fed-up’ tone, Dean recognizes it. She shuts her mouth right away.

“Sorry Master.” Mrs. Herbert finally whispers after a few seconds.

Gabriel runs a hand through his hair and sighs, and all anger disappear from his face.

“She just lost her mother. Can’t you give it up for a few weeks? It makes her happy, it takes her mind of things.”

Mrs. Herbert nods. “I understand.”

“Good. I’m leaving you alone now, you can go back to your party.”

He looks drained all of a sudden.

“Maybe you can… Have a slice of pie with us, if you’d like?” Jessica says, softly.

Gabriel looks surprised, but then he shakes the offer with a laugh.

“Nah. I know it would be awkward for you all. And even if I would love to taste that pie, I have things to tend to. Thank you though, Jessica, that’s very nice of you.”

There’s a bit of awkward silence before the angel opens his mouth again.

“Uh, I need to borrow Dean for a moment, though. There’s a few things I need you for.” He says, addressing the last bit of his sentence directly to Dean.

Bobby quirks an eyebrow at Gabriel. Dean feels himself blush. He knows everyone can see it spread on his face. Gabriel just rolls his eyes.

“Not those kinds of things.”

“Oh.” Dean breathes.

“If you really wanna know, the Mighty Castiel is here, and he’s asked for you.”

Dean straightens up almost unconsciously. That either means Castiel has news about the murders or he wants Dean’s help. Either way Dean’s interested. He gets up and joins the angel in the doorway.

“Have a good evening.” Gabriel says to the other.

They leave then and Dean can hear the other quietly murmur a ‘thank you Master’ as they go. When they enter the study, Castiel is sitting at Gabriel’s desk and he’s reading something in a little notebook. He looks up when they come in and he smiles, looking satisfied.

Dean walks to the desk and takes the Stance. He hears Gabriel walk to the couch and throw himself on it.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel just says.

Dean looks up and nods politely.

“Master Castiel.” He just says.

He’s not sure how he should great the angel, especially in front of his own Master.

“Please, take a sit.” Castiel says as he raises his hand.

Dean looks around and there’s a chair behind him that wasn’t here when he came in. Seriously, those angels…

He sits, very carefully, but he can’t help but wince when his thighs touch the wooden seat. Castiel raises his eyebrows at that and give Gabriel an annoyed look. Dean blushes. Again.

“This is not going to make things easier…” Castiel says to his brother.

Dean hears Gabriel huff a laugh.

“If you were home more often maybe you could have called dibs.”

Castiel doesn’t bother to answer and turns to Dean. Home? So the guy is supposed to live here, uh?

“I asked you here because I’m having some… Difficulties, with the case you’re familiar with. You offered to help so if you are still up to it-“

“Absolutely!” Dean exclaims.

He can’t help it. He hasn’t been on a case for so long, he just itches for it.

“Don’t interrupt.” Gabriel says from behind him.

Dean curls on himself. Yeah. Still not used to all that crap, and those two angels are too nice for his own good.

“Sorry.”

“I need to explain a few things before we start.” Castiel continues as if nothing happened. “You may be aware that the country is divided in four parts. Other countries have the same system. Small countries like the ones you can find in Europe aren’t divided, some of them have been united, but they’re all ruled by an archangel.”

Dean knew about the districts, of course. He didn’t know about the archangels ruling said districts. That explains a lot actually. The only thing that everybody knows is that there’s a ‘High Council’. And people – including Dean- usually assume it means ‘God’. Dean is not the religious type of guy though, so knowing that a bunch of Archangels actually rule the world makes more sense, and in a way it’s reassuring. It’s tangible. He’s not sure a lot of people would agree with him though. If the word gets out then there would be a bunch of demons and probably some free humans who would try and take the power for themselves.

“Here the ruling angels are Gabriel, Michael, Lucifer and Raphael. You can imagine why demons attacking an archangel’s properties is worrisome. Especially one as powerful as Gabriel here.”

That’s a piece of information Dean would have been ready to kill for in his old life. Wasn’t it supposed to be all secret and everything?

“And uh… Isn’t that… I mean, I’m not supposed to know that, am I?”

“No, you’re really not.” Gabriel snorts. “But Cas here insisted. He’s the one enforcing justice so I can’t really say anything once he’s decided something.”

Wow, really? Dean can’t believe what he’s hearing. He can’t believe he has access to that kind of intel and he didn’t have to do anything to get it.

“Dean has proven himself an excellent hunter. I think we can trust him. I hope I’m not wrong.” Castiel says, staring at Dean with a terrifying sort of intensity.

Dean swallows and nods.

“Now, I haven’t been able to contact Raphael. I tried going to him but he was nowhere to be found. We believe he may be in danger, but we don’t know what kind. I thought that maybe you and I could share our knowledge and clear things out maybe. You’ve followed the murders from the beginning so you probably know things I don’t. Do you have notes somewhere, something we could use? I’ll send someone to fetch them if you do.”

Dean doesn’t answer and he tries not to show what he thinks about that. He eyes Gabriel, trying not to turn around too much, but the truth is the request makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t want them to have his notes fetch because that would mean giving Sammy’s home away.

“Speak your mind, Dean.” Gabriel orders.

Dean clears his throat.

“I uh… I have notes but… I don’t think it’s a good idea to have someone get them I just… I remember enough, I’ll just help you with what I can remember okay? I just need a map and-“

“We know you have a partner, Dean. If you’re worried about him we can promise you he won’t be hurt.” Gabriel interrupts.

Dean stares straight at Castiel and doesn’t answer. He hears Gabriel stand up and walk to him.

“You’re trying to protect him. Or them maybe?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

“You’re part of a community, is that it?”

Okay so they know things. They don’t know Sam is family though. That’s good. It’s better if they think he’s part or something bigger. If they assume there are a bunch of hunters waiting for them if they try something maybe they’ll back off.

“Please, Master. They have nothing to do with this.”

“Dean.” Castiel says, slowly and deadly serious. “If they helped you-“

“They didn’t, okay? I did it! I killed Ana, and Uriel and that’s it. Nobody helped me.”

He’s full of anger suddenly but he can’t help it. He can’t let them get to Sam. He just can’t. Castiel blinks at him.

“I believe you.”

“Thank you.”

“But we still need everything you gathered on the case.”

Dean sighs and he can’t help but show a bit of exasperation. He won’t tell them, even if they torture him to get the info. He just won’t, can’t they see this?

“I have a good memory.” He answers.

“Dean. Just tell us where we can find your notes.” Gabriel says again.

That’s an order but Dean can’t. He looks up to the angel defiantly, making sure to maintain eye contact as he speaks. He need to make himself very clear.

“I’m sorry but no.”

Gabriel looks pissed, but Dean doesn’t give a shit. They stare at each other, and Dean feels like his heart is going to explode but he keeps staring. He’s so angry with the angel right now.

Castiel clears his throat.

“We won’t hurt anybody.” He says, his voice gentler.

Dean turns to him.

“That’s what you say. I know what most angels think. What’s one more dead human to them? You can’t guarantee they’ll do what you tell them to do.”

Castiel sighs and he finally looks down impatiently. Dean sees his hand disappear in one of his coat pocket and for a second he’s scared they’re going to torture him. Castiel looks so fed up Dean can’t reject the possibility.

“Write down everything you can remember.” He hands Dean a very small notebook. “Hide it from the others, nobody must know what you’re doing. I’ll come back in a week to collect it.”

It gets easier to breathe suddenly.

“Got it. Thank you.”

“I can’t stay.” Castiel says, standing up.

Gabriel sighs.

“I love it when you make social calls, Cas. Always a pleasure to spend some time with you.”

Castiel gives his brother a deadly look.

“This is no laughing matter, Gabriel.”

“I know, I know… Try to spend some more time here when you can though, alright? You realize the new slaves don’t even know you live here?”

They’re talking like Dean isn’t even here. So he just stays still and he waits.

“I’ll do what I can.” Castiel concedes.

And he’s gone. Gabriel sighs, looking at the spot where his brother was standing a second before. Then he turns to Dean.

“What was that all about?” He asks.

He’s all serious again, Dean doesn’t like it when he can’t hear the playfulness in his voice. He looks down. He doesn’t know what to answer. He can’t give Sam away. He just can’t.

“You know what? I don’t care.” Gabriel goes on. “Just… Get out of here. We’ll talk another time.”

Dean gets up, careful to avoid looking at the angel. He leaves the room as fast as he can.

~*~

Dean has a very good memory, but the task is enormous. He’s tried to write down everything he could for two days but now he’s stuck. He needs some maps of the country. He can’t remember every name of every city angel murders have been committed. On the third day he finds the courage to walk up to the angel’s study. They haven’t talk since that day, and Dean thinks it’s because Gabriel is still a bit mad at him.

He doesn’t hear any noise coming from the study but there’s light coming from underneath it. He knocks but nobody answers. He wait a minute and knocks again. He hears footstep coming toward the door. It only half opens and Gabriel looks out.

“What?” He asks, looking slightly exasperated.

He looks like shit. Not that Dean is going to tell him that. Dean can smell alcohol on his breath and his hair is sticking up on one side of his head, like he was just taking a nap. His eyes are slightly red but Dean can’t tell if it’s because he cried (which doesn’t sound like him, really) or if it’s something else. Maybe he’s just having a big hangover.

“Uh, I… I’m sorry Master, I was wondering… I need some maps. For what Master Castiel asked me to do I uh… I need to check out a few things. If you have a Demon Glossary too, that would be perfect. I won’t bother you much I just need to…” He trails off.

The angel is already going back inside, leaving the door open. He gestures at Dean to come in.

“Close the door.” He says.

Dean does and walks to the center of the room. The angel goes straight to his books, and he looks around for a few minutes and removes one book from the shelves. He goes to another wall and grabs two other books, smaller this time, and he settles them on his desk.

“Make yourself at home.” He tells Dean as he goes back to the couch.

He throws himself on it, lies down and turns his back on Dean, crossing his arms on his chest. There’s a letter and a half emptied bottle of scotch on the floor next to him.

Dean is not sure of what he should do. Did the angel just told him to use his desk? Careful, he walks around it and sits on the huge chair in front of it. It’s a really comfortable chair. When the angel doesn’t turn around and doesn’t say anything Dean grabs a first book and opens it. Maps. Awesome. He gets the little notebook out of his pocket and starts working.

He missed this. Sam always does the big part of the research but Dean helps from time to time. He doesn’t really like it, it’s kind of boring usually, but it has been so long since he was able to work on a case that he enjoys even this. He wishes he had the glasses Sam had found for him though. Not that he’d admit it, but those things were pretty great. When he reads too much he gets headaches and texts get fuzzy after a while, especially when they’re written in really small characters.

He doesn’t look at the time, but soon he’s checked all the maps in the first book and he feels like his eyes are stinging. He blinks a few times and looks up.

Gabriel is sitting up, legs crossed, and he’s looking at him with interest.

“Welcome back.” He says.

Dean thinks he hears a bit of sadness in his voice.

“Wh-  What?”

“I tried asking you what you were looking for but I don’t think you heard me.”

Yeah, that tends to happen when he’s really into something. He feels awkward and he looks away.

“Sorry Master I was… uh, focused.”

“I could see that, yeah. You’re fascinating to look at when you’re working, Dean.”

He smiles a little but it feels like it’s forced. Dean doesn’t what to answer that. He stands up and stretches a little.

“Uh I… I’m gonna leave you alone then… Can I come back tomorrow night? I’m not exactly done and I don’t want to miss anything.”

Gabriel let himself fall back against the couch.

“Sure.”

But he doesn’t say anything else and he keeps staring at Dean like he wants something else. Dean can’t really read him, he doesn’t like it. He’s usually very good at reading people. Gabriel is a bit of an enigma. The only thing Dean is sure of right now is that something is out of place. He notices Gabriel’s shirt is open, when it’s usually buttoned up to the top of his chest at least. He’s wearing a white t-shirt underneath. There’s a stain – probably scotch- on it.

“I’m sorry Master maybe I’m crossing a line here or something but… Are you okay?”

The angel looks surprised for a second then bursts out laughing.

“Why would you ask that?” He straightens again. His laugh sounds hysterical. “D’you even care or are you just asking to get some favors?”

Dean doesn’t move. He feels his inner alarms go off.

“No, I care I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t thought-“

“I’m fine, Dean, peachy, really!” He opens his arms wide and he keeps the fake smile plastered on his face.

“Okay, if you say so Master. I’ll just… Leave.”

He walks to the door, trying not to run.

“Raphael is dead.” Gabriel says to Dean’s back.

Dean freezes but doesn’t turn around, he doesn’t know how to react to that.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers.

He hears the angel let out a breath.

“Yeah.” The laughter is gone from his voice. “Thanks. Now go. Don’t tell anyone.”

Dean hears the distinctive clinking noise of a bottle hitting a glass and alcohol being poured as he gets out and closes the door on the angel.

Things are getting more serious than he thought. He wonders if it’s a case he should really be working on. If archangels start getting killed...

He very aware suddenly that he doesn’t want Gabriel to die. He tries not to think about what that means. He just goes to bed and he tries to forget about everything.

~*~

A week later, Dean is working on the Impala when he hears footsteps and he stops what he’s doing, trying to see from underneath the car who it is.

“Dean? You here?” He hears Gabriel call.

He gets out from under the car, brushing away a few strands of hair stuck to his forehead with the back of his hand. He’s sweating a lot and he’s covered in grease, so he tries to stay as far from the angel as he can.

“Master?”

He was deep in the middle of something and he doesn’t really like being interrupted like this. Especially since they haven’t really talked since Dean finished his research for Castiel. They exchanged a few words when Gabriel’s brother came back to take the notebook from Dean but that’s about it.

Dean has to admit he was starting to miss the angel. And the sex. He wants more of those orgasms, please. Bu the angel didn’t really seem in the mood after Raphael’s death.

“I looked for you everywhere!” The angel exclaims.

Dean thinks he’s probably exaggerating. He only had to ask Bobby to know where Dean was.

“Well, I’m here. What can I do for you?”

The angel smirks at him. It’s the first time Dean’s seen him smile for real in days.

“Would you like to come to my chambers tonight?”

Dean blinks, but he feels a smile coming to his face too. Finally!

“Sure.” He tries to sounds nonchalant.

“Great! You know you’ve been really rude the night of Jordan’s birthday party. I kind of put off the punishment so far but I think it’s long overdue.”

He says it as if he’s giving Dean the weather and he turns around, ready to leave.

“Wait, what?” He doesn’t feel so excited anymore.

The angel turns to him again, sighing dramatically.

“Well, yeah. You need to be punished, Dean. Maybe if you take it well I’ll reward you afterwards.”

He lets his word hang in the air for a few second. Dean doesn’t know what to think.

“You mean… Uh… What kind of punishment?”

Gabriel’s smirk grows.

“If I told you there would be no surprise.”

“I don’t like surprises.”

“Too bad.” He almost sings, wriggling his eyebrows.

He winks at Dean and in a blink he’s gone.

~*~

Dean is so anxious. He’s been working himself up all day. They should have discussed those things before, no? Like what kind of things Dean really doesn’t want to do at all and shit like this? He’s under the impression that Gabriel sometimes ignores the basic safety rules that apply to what they do just because he thinks it’s a waste of time. Dean really needs to talk to him about this some time. But right now he’s just standing in front Gabriel’s room, staring at the door like it’s going to give him some clue about what’s going to happen to him tonight.

He takes a big breath and opens the door anyway because he knows that if he’s late it’ll probably get worse. He closes the door carefully and starts taking his shirt off when he hears Gabriel on his right.

“Don’t take off your clothes. We’re going out!”

What? Oh God. Oh God, is he going to lend him to someone? He tries to compose himself and puts his shirt back on.

The angel is fully dressed, as usual, except he’s wearing the black pants and a dark red shirt. He’s smiling at Dean in a way that promises things Dean is not sure he wants to try. The angel chuckles a bit like he’s proud of himself.

“Look at you, you’re all nervous.”

Dean tries not to give him a bitch face but he probably fails because Gabriel laughs whole-heartedly.

“Yeah I’m laughing at you, Dean-o. I’m having a lot of fun.”

Dean huffs but he doesn’t say anything. The angel opens the door and goes out so Dean follows. They walk outside and there’s a car waiting for them. It’s black and elegant, not too conspicuous, and it has a chauffeur. The windows look black from where Dean’s stand. He supposes they’re made in a way that you can see the outside when you’re inside but not the other way around.

Okay. It’s weird. He’s not sure he wants to play anymore.

“Trust me, Dean.” Gabriel just whispers in his ear as he pushes him toward the car.

They get in, Gabriel makes Dean sit facing the road and he settles on the seats in front of him. The car starts and Dean feels like he’s going to throw up. They’re both silent for the first five minutes but then Dean can’t hold it anymore.

“Shouldn’t we… I don’t know, talk about safewords or… or something?”

“Why? Do you think we need one?”

“Don’t you think we do?”

Gabriel shifts in his seat and straightens up.

“Not everyone agrees on that. I mean, everybody has a different opinion on it. If one day it’s really too much for you and I don’t notice I’d prefer if you just tell me to stop. If I still go on because I mistake something you said as part of the play you can tell me ‘stop, I mean it.’ And I’ll understand. It’s as simple as that.”

Dean is kind of taken aback by the way the angel thinks but it makes sense. Doesn’t mean he fully agrees though.

“So you’ve never used one?”

“Uh yeah, at first I did. It’s better when you don’t know the person you’re playing with. And it’s absolutely necessary if you’re into edge play of course. But when you have a regular partner I think you can learn other ways to keep everything fun and prevent the bad things from happening.”

It’s kind of reassuring to be talking about it that freely. Dean relaxes against the back of his seat.

“What’s edge play?”

Gabriel smiles like he knows Dean is not going to like what he’s going to say.

“It’s when people play with knives, asphyxia, and all the things that could be a danger to someone’s life basically. But don’t worry I’m not really into it. I don’t like pain Dean. I try to stay as far away from it as I can. Even in my duty as an Archangel.”

Dean nods. That’s good to know.

“Or the bad kind of pain at least. The good kind… I’m not against it. You’ll find out soon about that.”

He looks outside and smiles like he’s hiding something. So he’s into spanking maybe? Shit, Dean’s never thought about it. He’s not sure he’s okay with that.

The ride is really long. Dean is starting to see the outskirt of the city from afar. He clears his throat.

“So… No safeword then?”

“You really feel like you need one?”

Dean doesn’t want to say it but, yeah, kinda. He just shrugs though. He doesn’t know a lot about what they do but he always heard people talk about that at least.

“What would you use? Do you have ideas?”

“Uh… I don’t know… Can I choose any word I like?”

“As long as it’s not something too complicated… Because the thing is, you have to remember it.” He quirck an eyebrow at Dean. “Do you really think if I ever do something bad to you one day – and I really hope I won’t – you’ll remember a random word like that? Wouldn’t your first instinct rather be to yell “stop!” or “no!” or something similar?”

Dean tries to think about it. He knows what being in danger feels like, he’s use to it so he knows how to keep his thoughts in check when something bad happen. But having sex is a lot different than fighting monster.

“I don’t know… I guess?”

Gabriel smiles reassuringly at him.

“We’ll talk about it later if you really need it to feel safer. But you won’t need one tonight, I promise.”

Okay… That doesn’t tell him what’s going to happen. He doesn’t like surprises. He hates them. God, he can’t wait to find out what the angel is going to do to him.

They don’t talk much the rest of the way. Dean is too anxious anyway. He likes the silence best. The more time passes, the more he feels like his whole body is tingling with anticipation. He’s kind of turned on by now because he’s been trying to imagine all the things the angel could come up with to punish him and he has to admit he may have more kinks than he first thought.

Finally, they’re into town and the car stops in front of a building. It’s simple, Dean can’t really see what color it is from here because it’s dark outside and there’s not that many street lamps around. Gabriel gets out of the car and Dean follows. They take the elevator and Dean doesn’t even notice what floor they’re on when they actually get there because he’s too nervous to pay attention. He’s starting to get lost in his head and he tries to focus more, but it’s difficult.

He feels frantic.

They arrive in front of a door like any other door on that floor. It has the number “709” on it. Seventh floor then. He doesn’t know why but he doesn’t like it that they’re so high up. Gabriel knocks and he winks at Dean as he steps back. Dean can only fidget with his hands. He’s so nervous he can feel his heart beating in his throat.

The guy that opens the door is nothing like what Dean expected. He’s as tall as Gabriel, with sandy blond hair, grey-blue eyes and a smile that probably gets him laid a lot. He’s dressed like an overgrown teenager. His baggy pants let show his batman boxers a little, and his shirt is a little too large, it falls on his body in a weird way. It’s not unappealing though. It seems to fit him.

“My Lord.” He says, addressing Gabriel as he bows his head a little. “Please, come in.”

He gets back inside, leading them through a small corridor into an open space apartment. It’s small, but it looks comfortable. Dean notices there’s two doors on the right, probably the bathroom and… the guy’s bedroom? But there’s a bed in sight, so maybe not.

“Dean, this is Gregory.” Gabriel says. “We’ve known each other for a few years.”

Gregory stops in the middle of the room and turns to Dean.

“Hey!” He just says, hands in his pockets.

He’s rocking on his heels, looking at Gabriel like he’s waiting for something.

“Payment up front, if you don’t mind, my Lord.” He says.

Gabriel laughs a little but takes a few bills from his pockets and hands them to Gregory. He puts them in a box, on the shelves behind him and claps his hands together.

“Right, shall we proceed then?”

He walks to the right, and opens one of the door. Dean heart sink low into his stomach when he takes a look and sees what’s inside. Holy shit. What the fuck?

Gabriel pushes him inside, smiling at Dean smugly.

“Don’t worry it’s not for you.” He says.

What? Then what are they doing here? He eyes the installation inside the room with curiosity, and a bit of fear. It looks like a small square table but there’s a sort of cushion on it, cuffs on each leg, and it looks to be made of leather.

Gregory closes the door and takes off his shirt, throwing it on the floor. Dean tries to look for a mark but he doesn’t see one. A free man then? He has to admit the guy looks more than nice. He’s not big but Dean can see he probably works out a lot, even if he still looks pretty lean. He nicely tanned too, not too much, just what’s needed to make his skin shine. He looks healthy, so he probably does that regularly and has good incomes from it. Dean’s never met a male prostitute before. He doesn’t know what to think about that guy.

He almost forgets he’s here to be punished until Gabriel snaps his finger at his face.

“You’re with us, Dean-o?”

Dean blinks and nods. His stomachs starts twisting again.

“Go kneel there.” He says, indicating the wall facing the door.

Dean does, but he can’t really look away from Gregory who’s now taking off his pants.

“You cleaned everything out in there?” Gabriel asks him.

He looks around like he’s missing something.

“Yeah, you said it was his first time, I didn’t want to scare him.” Gregory answers, taking his underwear off.

And wow, that’s a nice ass if Dean’s ever seen one. He quickly kneels and sits back on his heels, hands on his thighs before the angel sees him actually checking out another guy.

“Hands behind your back this time, Dean.”

He puts his hand behind his back. It forces him to straighten up. He looks around, but there’s really not much to see. The walls are painted a kind of blackish grey color. The floor is made of grey carpet too. There’s a small window on Dean’s right but all he can see is the sky and some building from far away. He can even see some stars if he squints a bit. The only other thing in the room is the weird table, and Gregory’s clothes on the floor.

He’s not very tidy for a prostitute, Dean thinks. He looks like he’s a pretty expensive one at that.

He focuses on Gabriel again, because if he keeps looking at Gregory he knows he’s going to miss a few things. The angel is unbuttoning his shirt. He wears his black T-shirt underneath, Dean sees. He takes it off and folds it carefully. He walks to Dean and puts the shirt on his lap.

“Keep that for me, will you?”

Dean nods. Gabriel walks back to Gregory and they both stand side by side, looking down at Dean. Dean tries to avoid looking at Gregory’s dick but he can’t help his eyes from going down once or twice.

“So Dean. Since you need a punishment but I don’t want you to enjoy it just yet because I don’t think you deserved that, I’m going to have a bit of fun with Gregory instead.” The angel starts. “Because when you do things that deserve to be punished, I hope you realize you’re also punishing me. Since I also have needs of my own, I don’t see why I should wait for you to enjoy myself, you understand?”

Dean thinks it’s a bit unfair, but he gets it. He nods. He feels a bit pissed though. He doesn’t see why they have to come to that guy. Not that he’s jealous or anything but… Yeah. Gregory seems nice and all but Dean could have pleased his Master while being punished, he doesn’t see why they had to seek someone else’s help.

“He doesn’t look too happy about that…” Gregory says.

Dean doesn’t know if he should hate the guy or not. He doesn’t think he can because the guy is smiling brightly at him and really, how can someone have a smile that beautiful?

“He’s not supposed to be.” Gabriel answers. He’s smiling too, though. “I’m going to play with Gregory, and you’re going to watch us. And I want you to focus on what I’m doing and imagine it’s being done to you.”

“And you’re lucky because I don’t usually sub.” Gregory comes in. “But my Lord Gabriel is my favorite client so I can’t refuse him anything.” He looks maliciously at Gabriel who huffs a laugh.

“Don’t try and flatter me, you’ll get what you want anyway, you know that. And you’re hardly a sub. A decent bottom at best.”

Gregory laughs. “Uh, true.”

Okay, yeah. Dean is jealous. At least he can admit that to himself. He’s jealous of the way their bodies brush like they’re used to standing that close, and he’s jealous of how easily they talk to each other. He’s jealous the guy doesn’t have to call Gabriel his Master. He jealous they look more like friends (with a bit of benefit) than like a slave and his Master going at it because the Master decided so.

Gabriel turns to Dean again.

“Oh and obviously you’re not allowed to come, nor are you allowed to touch yourself or relieve yourself in anyway. You don’t try to get friction with your clothes or touch yourself from behind. Just because your hands are behind your back doesn’t mean I can’t see what you’re doing, are we clear?”

Dean nods. He’s never been much into voyeurism anyway. He doesn’t see how watching two guys – two guys, for fuck’s sake! - going at it is going to turn him on.

They both turn their back on Dean and Gregory spreads his body on the table, belly first, head on the cushion, his ass up in the air right in front of Dean, his feet barely touching the floor. Gabriel walks around the table, cuffing his wrist to the top on the table, then his ankles to the bottom of the table’s legs, next to the floor. Gregory tests the restrains and turns his head to look at Gabriel behind him.

“I’m good to go, boss.” He says. He settles his head on the pillow, turning it to look at the window.

Dean can’t stop staring at him. His dick is hanging heavily between his legs, touching the edge of the table a little and Dean can see the underside of his balls and his ass. It’s kind of an… hypnotizing view. The guy is already fully hard.

“Amazing!” Gabriel whispers, running his hand lightly up Gregory’s body.

He never called Dean amazing. They haven’t done much, but now Dean wishes he had. Gabriel walks back to the guy’s ass, he lets his hand wander on the guy’s balls, caressing them gently. Gregory closes his eyes and hums.

And Dean feels it. He really does. Like a phantom touch on his own balls, he feels it, and he feels his blood starting to go down. The angel’s hand goes up, and suddenly his fingers are glistening. Dean hasn’t even seen it happen. Slowly, he rubs at Gregory’s hole and pushes two fingers inside.

Dean is a bit impressed because he’s not sure he could take that much without a bit of preparation first, but Gregory’s ass just opens on its own like it’s no big deal and Dean’s hears him hum again.

“I love that part. It’s like a massage.” He says, amused.

He looks like he’s relaxing minutely, and Dean would love to be that confident in those kinds of situations. Gabriel chuckles as he pushes on his hand until his knuckles almost disappear.

“I know you like it.” He answers, his voice low and rough.

He seems to be pushing his hand up and Gregory gasps then laughs a bit. Dean knows the angel must have hit his prostate and he feels on fire suddenly. He wants to feel it too, but only thinking about it isn’t the same has having it done to you. He tries, though. He tries to focus more. He’s half hard now just seeing the angel’s fingers in the guy’s ass, this is pretty easy to imagine. He feels the ghost touch of it.

Gabriel just keeps his hand where it is, not moving, and Dean sees he’s only moving his fingers by the way the muscles of his forearm jump regularly. Dean feels his pulse beat right under his stomach. He imagines how it must feel, to be stimulated like that from the get go. Gregory starts moaning, his perfect smile still in place. He even lets out a laugh from time to time, but other than that the room is almost silent.

It makes everything look surreal again, and Dean gets caught in what he sees. He truly starts to feel everything now, and every moan sends another burst of _want!_ And _need!_ Through his body.

“Oh, God! I’m gonna come!” Gregory shouts.

And surely Dean sees a spurt of come shoot out of his dick. He sees the veins on it, the red, glistening tip pulsing so hard Dean thinks it’s probably painful at that point, and he realizes he’s painfully hard himself. He wants to rub at his own dick but he knows he’s not allowed and he starts to understand how this can be a very cruel punishment.

“That’s one.” Gabriel says, pulling his fingers out.

“A good one.” Gregory adds, out of breath.

It makes Gabriel laughs, and Dean feels a touch of jealousy coming back to ruin his mood again. He tries to shake it off and he tightens his grip on his wrist behind his back. He wants to come now. That’s so fucking cruel. And why is Gabriel counting anyway? How many will Dean have to watch until he’s allowed a bit of release at least?

He doesn’t notice Gabriel is looking at him until he whistles to get Dean’s attention. Dean tears his eyes from Gregory’s ass and looks up. The angel looks amused.

“Got you lost there for a second?”

“No Master, I’m… I uh…”

“My ass is hypnotizing, I know.” Gregory says.

He’s trying to look at Dean as best as he can.

“Yeah, kinda.” Dean admits.

He feels like he’s losing his voice, and his throat is really dry. He doesn’t know how long he’s going to hold on for.

“It’s a very beautiful ass.” Gabriel says, squeezing Gregory’s butt cheeks like he’s kneading a piece of bread. “You should see Dean’s ass, though.” He adds.

And Dean feels a bit of pride for a second before he blushes at what the angel’s implying.

“Is it better than mine?”

“I’m sorry but I have to say yes to that.” Gabriel says playfully as a black dildo appears in his hand.

 He looks at it, thoughtful, holding it up in the air. He runs his hand up and down the thing until it’s covered in lube.

Dean thinks he’s doing that so Dean will be able to evaluate the size of it. So that he can imagine things better. He feels his ass clench at the thought of something that big inside of him.

Gregory laughs.

“I hope we’ll get to switch position someday then.” He tells Dean.

Oddly, it sends another spark of desire going through Dean. He doesn’t want to show it though, so he shrugs when he sees that Gregory his twisting his neck to look at him again. The guy talks a lot. It doesn’t ruin the mood though. It kind of adds something special to it, and Dean almost forgets how anxious he was about all of this.

“Would you like that, Dean?” The angel asks.

“I… I don’t know, Master. Maybe…”

He can’t look away from the toy as Gabriel positions the tip in front of Gregory’s ass. Yeah, yeah, maybe he’d like it. Gregory apparently knows how to make people comfortable. Dean doesn’t think he would like being exposed like this but then again two months ago he didn’t thought he liked people putting things in his ass so he can’t truly say no to anything now.

The toy looks gigantic next to Gregory’s hole. Dean doesn’t know how it’s going to fit in there. The only sensation he can imagine when he sees this is pain. But despite that he still feel his dick pulse at the thought of seeing the toy going all the way inside. He can’t wait to see it.

“Which one did you choose?” Gregory asks.

“The black one.” Gabriel answers, still staring at the toy.

He looks so intensely focused, Dean wonders if he looks like this when he’s taking care of him.

“My favorite! You’re really spoiling me today!”

Gabriel smiles, a bit distracted, as he starts pushing the toy inside. He turns to check on Dean as he answers Gregory.

“You know me, I aim to please.”

Dean sees Gregory is holding to the edge of the table as he tries to relax to let the toy in.

“God, I always forget how much of a pain it is to get that one in.” He comments.

Gabriel huffs. “If you’d shut up and focused it would be easier.”

He’s still looking at Dean as he twists the toy around, trying to get Gregory’s muscle to accept the intrusion. Dean briefly looks up, and what he sees in Gabriel’s eyes makes his blood boil. He feels the furious need for the angel to touch him. He wants his incredibly hot hands on him, right now. He’s not sure he can take that punishment after all.

Gabriel turns his head back toward Gregory’s ass, smiling in a satisfied way.

“I don’t think Dean here is going to hold on for long.”

Gregory twists his head to look at him again.

“Sorry, Dean. He paid for five.”

It’s too much. Dean knows it right away. He can’t watch a guy having five fucking orgasms in front of him while he’s not allowed to move. That’s not possible.

“Do you think you can wait that long, Dean?” Gabriel ask.

Dean lets out a shaky breath.

“No Master.”

He knows he just can’t, he need the angel to touch him right away. He feels he’s starting to sweat and shake with the intensity of his desire. His dick pulses between his legs and he’s so tempted to move, just a little, just for a second, to get at least a little spark of pleasure. But he can’t because if he does he’ll probably have to go to bed with the worst boner in the history of boners.

“Ah. Should’ve thought about it before you talked to me like you did the other day.”

Dean wants to tell him that whatever happens and whatever the punishment would be he’d never give away the location of his family and that, really, that day he was in a very particular situation that he’d try to avoid getting himself into in the future, but it makes him think about Sammy and truly, thinking about his brother when there’s a guy getting fucked by a giant dildo in front of him is not the greatest of ideas. He tries to focus again, chasing the thoughts of his brother away.

It works after a while, and he sees that the dildo is already half in. Gee, thanks Sammy. Now he missed half the fun. The sight is incredibly hot. Seeing Gregory spread wide by the giant toy, Dean tries to imagine what it must feel like but he can’t. Gregory is whining loud now, and Dean feels pleasure buzzing all around is body, making his skin feel tight. He can’t sit still anymore. He can’t. He tries shifting his thighs a little. The weight of Gabriel’s shirt is enough to send little spark of pleasure up his shaft. He bites on his lower lip to prevent any sound from coming out of his mouth.

“Dean…” Gabriel almost growls.

He’s not looking at Dean but somehow he _knows_. Dean stops right away.

“Oh shit! Shit I think I’m going to come again!” Gregory says, half laughing.

It makes his ass wriggle a bit and he moans. He nuzzles his head in the cushion and Dean can hear him panting.

“Suit yourself.” Gabriel just says.

Dean is a bit jealous that the guy gets to come whenever he wants. He hopes someday he’ll be able to do the same.

_Wow, dude, listen to yourself. As if you’re going to stick with the guy forever._

The thought takes him out of the mood he’s in right away. He was starting to float again but he crashes right back on planet earth. The voice sounded like Sam’s.

“Shiiiit!” Gregory shouts into the cushion.

And Dean sees his dick pulse again as he comes. He feels his own dick pulse too, and he feels a lump forming in his throat. He’s not into it anymore, he needs to focus a little more. His body still feels the need but his mind is somewhere else. If he doesn’t try to focus again he knows he’ll start freaking out.

“Two.” Gabriel says. “You’re quick tonight.”

He keeps pushing on the toy slowly but Gregory yelps.

“Ah! Ah! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait a minute!” He pants.

Gabriel lets go of the toy and runs his hand along Gregory’s back.

“We’re almost there.” He whispers. “You’re not going to give up on me now, are you?”

Gregory shakes his head no, still smiling. He lets out a little laugh.

“Okay, that’s okay, I’m good. Go on.”

Dean keeps watching and it’s still good in a weird, twisted way, but he feels sick now. Actually sick. He wants Gabriel to take care of him now. Make his brother’s voice go away. He forgot how it was like to feel responsible for another person, to feel the weight that comes with having to take care of someone. With Gabriel he doesn’t have to think, he just has to do what he’s told, and he wants to find that again. He doesn’t want to think about what Sam would say if he ever learns what Dean is doing. He can’t right now, he just needs this, just a little more of this until he feels ready again.

He takes a breath and focuses on Gabriel’s hand again. He knows what they feel like when they’re running on his skin. He tries to imagine that Gregory’s back is his back.

The angel comes back to the toy and pushes on it again, faster this time. Gregory let’s out a long, contented moan, until the toy is buried deep in his ass.

He sighs. “Oh, god, I love that one. Please turn it on!” He breathes.

Gabriel laughs. He pushes on the bottom of the dildo and Dean can hear the distinctive noise of a vibrator going full power.

“Shit, shit! Not going to last long with that one! Shhh-“

Dean is fascinated for a while, by the noise it’s making, the way Gregory’s thighs shake under the strain, or maybe the pleasure-pain he must be feeling – because no way he’s not feeling a bit of pain with something that big this deep in him – and he starts to get into the action again.

Gabriel walks on the other side of Gregory, his back to the window. There’s a riding crop in his hand. He caresses Gregory’s ass almost lovingly before he removes his hand and gives one quick blow with the crop.

Gregory yelps again, and he laughs. Dean see a red, very straight mark appear immediately on Gregory’s butt cheek. Gabriel looks focused again, but Dean can see from where he’s kneeling that the angel is fully hard. Suddenly he thinks he would love to put his mouth on the angel’s cock. Or give it a lick. Just once. Just to taste him.

_Dude, that’s just sick._

He blinks a few times. He’s crashing again. He just can’t do it, he doesn’t know why he can’t focus like this and he feels like a huge failure all of a sudden. He feels like crying. His body is still responsive, though. He wishes the boner could go away because he’s absolutely not in the mood anymore.

Gabriel gives two quick blows again, and Gregory comes for the third time.

“Holy-“

Dean sees his body tense as his dick pulses again, white, thick come shooting out of it.

“Three.” Gabriel says.

He looks pleased and he turns to Dean.

“I hope you’re enjoying yourself because we’re almost done!” He smirks.

But his smile fades when he sees Dean and Dean tries his best to swallow back the tears he feels coming to his eyes. He doesn’t want to disappoint the angel, he said yes to this, he knows if his brother finds out he’s going to disown Dean or something so really, he can’t stand the thought of the angel refusing him too because he’s being a big pussy.

“Dean, are you okay?”

Dean nods right away. “Yes Master.”

The angel frowns. Gregory whimpers again and he bites into the cushion to prevent any noise from coming out of his mouth. The only noise in the room is the noise the vibrator is still making.

Gabriel turns the thing off and Gregory lets out a disappointed hum.

“I think that’s enough for today.” Gabriel says gently.

Dean doesn’t want Gregory to see him. He doesn’t want them to stop. If they stop now Gregory will know it’s because Dean can’t take it. Dean shakes his head ‘no’ at Gabriel.

“I’m okay.” He whispers.

He wants Gabriel to believe him so much but he feels a tear roll down his cheek, betraying him. Fuck. Gabriel doesn’t answer and turns to Gregory.

“If I untie you, you’ll manage to get the thing out on your own?”

“Sure!” Gregory says, half of his face still buried in the cushion. “You’re sure you don’t want to finish? You know I don’t do refunds. You paid for five.”

Gabriel smiles at him like nothing wrong is happening.

“Yeah I’m sure. Keep the rest, let’s just say it’s a bonus for the quality of your services.” He says as he waves at nothing. The cuffs opens by themselves.

Gregory smiles as he pushes himself up. He just stands on his toes though, arms extended and palms flat on the table. Dean imagines it’s kind of hard, walking around with something that big in your ass. Any other given time he would have laughed but right now he’s starting to panic a bit.

They’re stopping because of him. He failed. He can’t even be a good fuck toy. What are they going to do with him?

“Come on, Dean, get up.” Gabriel says, keeping his voice low and gentle. He grabs his shirt from Dean’s lap and puts it on.

Dean feels like he’s being treated like a kid and he hates it. He let his arms fall at his side and pushes himself up, furiously wiping the tears from his face with the back of his hand. He can’t look anyone in the eyes right now.

“Well, I hope you won’t be mad if I don’t walk you to the door but… I’m a bit stuck right now.” Gregory jokes.

Gabriel laughs. “Thanks Gregory.”

“You’re welcome, my Lord. S’always a pleasure to do business with you! And Dean…”

Dean looks up. He tries to keep the tears at bay as best as he can.

“You’re very pretty and I hope we’ll get to see each other again.” He smiles brightly again and Dean can’t help but smile back, even if he doesn’t really feel it.

“Yeah, same, I guess…” He manages.

He’s been called pretty by girls before, but he’s not sure how he feels about it right now. He just wants to get out of here. He feels Gabriel’s hot hand on his back and he realizes he needed this a lot more than he thought. The contact, and the warmth. The angel pushes him outside, and he keeps his hands on Dean until they’re sitting in the car again, facing each other.

Dean hears the engine start and he feels they’re moving but he still feels like he’s going to cry if he looks at the angel’s face and so he keeps his eyes on the road. He’s still half hard, he doesn’t even know how it’s possible.

“Dean.” Gabriel says.

Dean reluctantly turns his head in his direction because it sounds like an order.

“What’s happening?” The angel asks, concern in his eyes.

Dean can’t take it anymore. He can’t hold the tears that start spilling again.

“It’s nothing, Master, it’s nothing, I’m sorry.” He sniffs, trying to stop himself and a desperate laugh leaves his mouth. “I’m sorry I ruined everything.”

“You haven’t. Don’t ever think things like this. If you’re not enjoying something I don’t want you to keep it in until I’m done. That’s not how it works. I can’t enjoy things if you’re not enjoying them too, you know.”

Dean avoids his eyes again.

“It’s not that, it’s not… It has nothing to do with… All this. I’m sorry.”

The angel leans forward and lets himself fall on the floor of the car. He kneel in between Dean’s knees and squeezes Dean’s thighs gently.

“Tell me.”

Dean can’t. He can’t talk about Sam with Gabriel. He can’t give his brother away, he just can’t. He shakes his head ‘no’.

“Come on. What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

Dean bites on his lower lip. Tears are still falling and he hates being so weak. _Winchesters don’t fucking cry, Dean. You’re such a fucking baby!_

“It’s just… When you said… When you talked about the night of Jordan’s birthday and… What made you want to punish me… It made me think about my brother, okay? That’s why I didn’t want to tell you where my notes were, I can’t give my brother away. He’s the only one I…”

He can’t go on. He said it. He doesn’t even know why but it’s too late now. He told Gabriel about Sam. He’ll never stop hating himself for this.

But he feels relieved at the same time. He doesn’t know how to feel anymore. He looks away again. The tears have stopped.

“My brother he would kill me if-if he knew what I’m… What we’re doing.” He looks at Gabriel again. The angel doesn’t look particularly angry. Dean can’t really read the expression on his face. “What _I_ _am_ doing, with an angel. He’s very passionate about human rights and… And freedom and… If he knows I’m kept somewhere and I’m not even trying to get away anymore… He’s…”

Gabriel squeezes his thighs again reassuringly.

“Well he’s not here, is he? You don’t know what he’d say.”

Dean snorts.

“But that’s not just him, it’s me I… I shouldn’t like this, I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place, I shouldn’t enjoy-“ He cuts himself before he can say something hurtful or stupid.

He shouldn’t enjoy playing at being the angel’s little bitch. But he does. Gabriel sighs and opens his mouth again.

“You know, Castiel is like that a bit. He’s so righteous about everything. Sometimes I do things I’m not very proud of and I get all worked up because I know Cas is going to know about it and he’s going to come lecture me. And really, I make myself sick just imagining the different things he could tell me, but you know what? He never tells me what I thought he would. He usually surprises me a lot. Maybe you should stop trying to think about what your brother would say, because he wouldn’t say those things anyway, you see what I mean?”

Dean gives him a curious look because yeah, that makes sense. It happened with Sam before too. Dean nods and sniffles again. Gabriel takes Dean’s hand in his and slowly rubs his thumb on Dean’s palm. It sends a little burst of desire through Dean again.

“And anyway, you shouldn’t be ashamed of taking pleasure in something, whatever that thing is.”

Dean shakes his head.

“Yeah well I shouldn’t enjoy myself when I can’t even please you the only time you’re not expecting anything of me.”

“Don’t say that. Something got you out of head space too quickly, it’s not your fault, it happens. Especially when you’re beginning. I’m pretty sure you haven’t even noticed but you were already half-gone by the time we got into Gregory’s play room.”

“I don’t know why you don’t take Gregory as a regular or something…”

“Dean…” The angel forces him to look at him. “First, Gregory is expensive. And even if I was willing to spend half of my fortune on a prostitute, I wouldn’t choose him. Seriously, have you heard how much he talks?” Dean laughs without wanting to. “It’s fun once in a while and I like him, I do but really I couldn’t handle it on a regular basis.”

“Yeah, I can understand that…” Dean says.

He doesn’t want to smile but he does. The angel looks pleased.

“Now, you know what I want to do?”

He waits for Dean to answer so Dean shakes his head ‘no’.

“I want to take care of that painful looking erection of yours…” Dean looks down. Oh yeah, still here, and he’s fully hard now. It’s probably because the angel has been fondling his thighs for five minutes. “I think I’m going to use my mouth if you don’t mind. I’d very much like to see how you taste like.” Dean swallows hard. Yes, that sounds like an excellent idea. “Then when we’ll get home you’ll come to my room with me. I don’t want any protest. You’re going to sleep tonight off with me and we’ll forget about everything. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes Master.” He whispers.

He can’t wait to feel Gabriel’s tongue on his skin. The angel lets go of Dean’s thighs and he raises his hands, and Dean can see he’s holding a length of rope. The rope looks like the climbing ropes they used with Sam that time they had to lower themselves into a dark, damp cave to kill a particularly vicious wendigo. It’s black and thick but it looks comfortable enough.

Dean knows that the angel is silently asking if he’s up for this so he nods. Yes. Anything as long as Gabriel is focusing on him, and just him. As long as it takes his mind off things for a while. Anything the angel wants, Dean’s game for it.

Gabriel pulls Dean toward him until Dean’s head rests on his shoulder and he takes Dean’s arm and hold them behind his back. He ties them very delicately, from his wrist up to the first half of his forearms. Dean has to pull his shoulder back but it’s not too painful so far. The angel pushes him back against the seat and he slips another length of rope under Dean’s thighs. He ties it good right above Dean’s knees, effectively pinning Dean’s thighs together.

He goes to unbutton Dean’s pants then and he takes his cock out, cupping his hands under Dean’s sack to make it come out a little. Dean lets out a breath at the feeling of hot hands on his flesh. Tied up like this he can’t move, he can’t part his legs to give the angel better access, he can’t do anything, just take what Gabriel is giving him. He feels his blood rushing down and he’s dizzy for a second or two. The elastic of his underwear is pushing tight against the underside of his balls and it makes the pleasure grow instantly.

“Tell me what to do.” The angel says, looking up at Dean.

Dean feels himself blush again and the angel smirks at that.

“Come on, we haven’t got all night…”

Dean swallows and opens his mouth, the words getting stuck on his tongue.

“L-lick it. Please. Master.”

Gabriel lets his tongue pock out and slowly, too slowly, he bends his head over until his tongue is on Dean’s cock and he drags it from the base to the tip. He keeps his eyes on Dean the whole time, and it’s the hottest thing Dean has seen in a long while. With everything that has happen tonight and now this, he feels like he’s going to come in three seconds.

“Again. Please.” He whispers.

He doesn’t dare speak aloud, in case the chauffeur can hear him or something. And he’s scared that if he lets his voice come out it’ll break the atmosphere and the angel will just stop. But he doesn’t. He gives another lick, then a second, and a third, and he pulls away again, waiting. Dean can’t close his mouth anymore. He’s breathing too hard and he feels the familiar ball of pleasure in the pit of his belly growing faster than ever before. He’s shaking all over with need.

“Suck me. Please. Just… Just do someth-ah!”

He can’t hold the yelp that comes out of his mouth when Gabriel takes him in mouth and starts sucking, letting his tongue roll around the tip lazily. One of his hand holds Dean at the base while the other one grazes the sensitive skin of his sack in a seemingly random pattern. He bobs his head up and down and Dean loses it. He doesn’t think about the chauffeur anymore. He lets out little cries of pleasure as he feels like his whole body is pulsing with electric bliss.

“Ah! I’m going to… Please Ma-ah!-ster I’m going to come, son of a-“

Gabriel is still staring and he lets go of Dean’s dick for a second, keeping the pleasure flowing by running his hand up and down Dean’s shaft as he follow the rhythm he had set with his mouth.

“You can come, Dean.” He says.

He takes Dean in mouth again and Dean tries to hold it back despite the permission he just got because he doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of coming in the angel’s mouth just yet but he can’t. He just can’t because the angel starts sucking harder and he’s gone.

He wants to keep his eyes open, to keep looking at Gabriel as he swallows Dean up but he barely has the time to think about it that his eyes close by themselves and he feels like he’s turning into a great pool of white pleasure as his orgasm hits him. His knees try to open because the pressure on his balls is too much but he can’t move and it sends another wave of pleasure-pain up his spine before it slowly fades away.

When he comes to, he feels the angel licking lazily at his flesh again, and he opens his eyes to see him wash away every little spot of come he can find until Dean is all cleaned up, cleared of every drop. He tucks Dean back in and buttons his pants.

He removes the rope holding Dean’s legs together and when he’s done Dean lets his body slip down a bit as he parts them, relieving the tension on his sack. Gabriel sits next to him and takes the same position.

“You’ll be glad to know you’re delicious.” He says.

Dean laughs tiredly and he looks outside. They’re passing by the mansion’s entry gates. He didn’t think they were there yet, it makes him feel a bit disoriented but he tries to ignore the feeling.

He’s just glad they’re home.

 


	5. Say 'thank you' to baby Jesus

He didn’t have another episode after the Gregory Fiasco, as he liked to call it. Gabriel called him into his room once a week ever since, and he took their game up a notch. They didn’t talk about safe words again though, but Gabriel explained the Red light/Green light system to him once so at least he has that. So far he’s never used it. Granted, sometimes he feels like he’s not going to make it but he doesn’t want Gabriel to think he can’t do it. He doesn’t want the angel to stop wanting him. They experimented with toys of all sorts – lots of them – and with bondage mostly, and really Dean doesn’t mind. He’s starting to miss the vanilla kind of sex a bit though, especially since Gabriel avoids the area of his mouth like the plague even though Dean tried to make him understand he would love to try and kiss him once or twice. Dean guesses it’s because it’s not part of the game, maybe it would break the dynamic. Or maybe it would go against the unspoken Master/slave rules, he doesn’t know.

He likes what they have, though. The sex is awesome but it’s not what he likes the most in all this. The after part is really nice. He got used to it now, the cuddles and shit. True, at first he had felt uncomfortable because it was kind of awkward, being spooned or hugged by the angel, but now he just looks forward to it. He knows it’s a bit girly, or that’s what it felt like at first, but now he just enjoys it and stop trying to find excuses for himself. He likes the guy, he truly does. So why trying to hide it, uh? He tried telling Gabriel that a few times, but the words got stuck in his throat. It’s not love, per say, but it’s something. He knows it, and at first it scared him, but it’s the only thing he’s got now, so he slowly accepted it. He thinks maybe the angel feels the same too, but he can’t be sure. He noticed the hugging sessions became more and more intimate. Sometimes they just lie down next to each other, and stare into each other’s eyes, and really, if that’s not a clue there’s something there then Dean doesn’t know what it is. So, yeah, finally, after more than 3 months here, he thinks he found some sort of balance, and he feels really happy about that.

And now Christmas is close by, everything is frozen outside, and Dean is flying deep above his head and he’s forgotten everything about the nervousness he’s always feeling around that time of year. He’s on the Master’s bed, ass up in the air, completely naked. He’s holding himself on his knees, his legs held far apart by the spreader tied to his ankles, and he’s currently drooling into the red sheets because he can’t hold himself up more than this. His hand are tied to the middle of the spreader thanks to another pair of cuffs Gabriel took out of nowhere (again) and the angel is gently prepping him for what’s coming.

He lets out a moan as a third finger enters him. Gregory was right. It’s exactly like a massage. He loves that part too. They should really get together again soon.

“Open your eyes, Dean.”

He does, not without difficulty, and tries to focus on the Master’s face behind him.

“What do you think about _this_?” The angel asks malicious, pulling out a weird looking dildo out of thin air, holding it up so that Dean can see it.

The thing is silver and it’s shining weirdly in the dim light of the room. Its base isn’t flat, it kinda looks like a door handle from here. But it’s rather long, not too thick either, and the tip is bigger than the main body. Almost as if someone thought it would be a good idea to put a plug on top a dildo and created this. It’s not completely straight either. It’s clearly curving in a way that makes Dean’s ass tingle with phantom pain.

_You’re kidding me?!_

He raises an eyebrow at the angel. He can’t speak. If he opens his mouth he’s fifty percent sure he’s going to curse at him.

“I know, I know, it looks big but I’m pretty sure it’ll fit and you’re going to be very happy about it. And so far I’ve never been wrong. What do you say?”

His fingers are still in Dean’s ass and he brushes Dean’s sweet spot lightly. Dean lets out a groan and closes his eyes again.

“Look at me Dean!”

He opens them again and he tries to think about it, but Gabriel brushes his prostate and he yelps.

“Uh- Yes, Yes Master!”

Yes, anything. Anything as long as he can come as soon as possible.

“You want it?” The angel asks again.

“Yes! Yes, please!”

The fingers in his ass keep moving in and out in a slow, delicious rhythm, idly stroking the sweet spot inside from time to time, and holding the pleasure is proving more and more difficult. He feels his thighs shake with the strain.

“I don’t believe you. You need to say it.”

He groans again. Gabriel knows he doesn’t like to say those kind of shit out loud. It’s incredibly hot, yes, but it’s also embarrassing. And they’ve been going at it for two days now. First time they try keeping things up for more than a few hours, and Dean is exhausted. They had to take breaks to eat – Gabriel was very adamant about him finishing every meal he would conjure up – he slept a bit, and the angel had to heal him twice already because he couldn’t feel his ass anymore after a while or he felt it too much and it was impossible to touch him anymore, and now he knows they’re close to the end of the game because the angel is being a bit nicer about everything. He likes it, he truly does, but he just wants to sleep now. He knows he won’t be able to until he comes one last time though. His body is tingling with need and if he doesn’t get some release he won’t be able to close his eyes.

“Please, Master. I want it.”

“You want what?”

He brushes Dean’s prostate again and Dean lets out a weak moan.

“I-I… I want…” He can’t he just can’t. He feels warmth coming to his face in waves. “I… Please!”

He’s starting to get a bit angry. Will the angel put the fucking thing in his ass already?! He’s about to come if he keeps touching Dean like this.

“Don’t come or I’ll have to start again.”

Dean feels tears coming to his eyes and he hides his face in the sheet. No, he can’t do it again. He really can’t. He feels pleasure run all over his body and he can’t hold it back anymore because it’s getting out of control. He feels a trickle of sweat sliding slowly down his neck and he tries to focus on that.

“You want me to shove that big dildo up your ass, don’t you?”

“Yes! Please, I can’t hold i-it anymore. Please!”

“Then say it.”

He lets out a sob as the fingers graze his prostate again.

“I w-want you to shove that b-big… dildo up my ass. Please, Master!”

He’s pretty sure his whole face is bright red, but he couldn’t care less. Finally – Finally! – the angel pulls his fingers out and he feels the cold, slick head of the toy pushing at his entrance.

“Look at you…” The angel says, his voice shaking. He pushes on the toy and the head slips inside steadily. “You’re so open. That’s so beautiful, Dean. You’re so beautiful…”

Dean moans in response as he feels his hole stretching out to accommodate the egg shaped head. His ass swallow the whole thing and he can’t help but clench around it. His inner muscles pull the body inside, and he feels it go deeper and deeper and it burns a little but it’s a good kind of burn and he can’t help but push his ass up a little more to make it slide in faster. The toy is smooth, and deliciously cold and he knows if he lets go now he can come with just this but he still holds it back because he wants to know, he _needs_ to know what it’s going to feel like when it’ll be fully in.

He doesn’t have to wait for long. Soon he feels the tip brush at his prostate and he cries out. It’s too much, too much pleasure and he sees stars dancing behind his eyelids.

“Heavens, you’re so good, Dean. You’re doing so great! You just have to hold on for a little while longer, alright? Can you do that for me?”

Dean nods. He can’t open his mouth. He’ll lose his focus if he does. The orgasm is here, right here, buried deep in the pit of his stomach and he knows that if he moves it’s going to explode and he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to disobey and he doesn’t want to have to start all over again.

He hears the angel move and he suddenly feels the warmth of his body next to his face. He opens his eyes and Gabriel is here, looking at him with a contented smile. He’s sweating too and his cheeks are red. He looks like he’s just ran a marathon. Dean must be looking ten times worse then.

“I want you to come without me touching you. I want to see you. Don’t close your eyes, okay?”

Dean tries to nod, he’s not sure he succeeds.

“Come on, it’s the last one. Make it count.”

He wants to laugh but he just huffs. He doesn’t dare move. Anything can set him off. The angel lets the lower half of his body slip on the floor and he crosses his arms on the bed, making himself comfortable to look Dean in the eyes.

“Whenever you’re ready, Dean.” He says.

Dean feels relief wash over him. He doesn’t need to move, not really. He just tightens his inner muscles around the toy once, it pushes the tip against the sweet spot inside and the ball of pleasure he was holding back just expands, explodes, sending millions of little needles of pleasure all over his body. He feels it run through him in waves and he can’t see anything besides the twinkle of happiness in Gabriel’s eyes. He feels like his visions blackens but he can still see the angel. He can’t scream, his voice stays stuck in his throat and he stops breathing for a second. He doesn’t even feel his dick anymore, he can only feel the toy moving inside, following the rhythm of his muscles as they spasm, and it’s so good, so good he has to let out the breath he was holding in one go, until there’s almost no air in his lungs anymore.

The toy keeps pushing inside though and it starts getting painful. He wants to close his eyes but he remembers he’s not allowed and he struggles to find his voice.

“T-take it out, take it out, please, please, take it ou- oh my god!”

It pushes again and the pleasure is too much. It hurts and he can’t take it anymore. He shuts his eyes so tightly it makes his head spin.

He doesn’t hear Gabriel move, he can’t move, he can’t think, he can only feel and take it and finally he feels the toy sliding out swiftly, he hears it makes an obscene sound as it comes out but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t blush because he’s so relieved, so, so relieved and he can only hum in contentment as his ass clenches around nothing one last time.

He hears his blood pump like crazy in his ear and he tries to catch his breath again before opening his eyes slowly.

Gabriel is closer now, he’s running his hand up and down Dean’s back soothingly while he smiles at him. He lifts his other hand lazily and snaps his fingers and the spreader and cuffs disappear. Dean spreads himself on the sheets and stretches as best as he can without punching the angel in the face by accident. He knows it’s entirely possible this could happen. He learned that when you’re tied up for so long you kind of lose the ability to estimate the length of your limbs for a little while after being freed.

They stare at each other for a few minutes while Dean tries to calm down a little and enjoy a bit of afterglow. It’s feel a bit too intimate though, but Dean can’t look away and can’t help but smile back at the angel.

Gabriel pushes himself up on the bed again, crawling up until his head hits one of the pillow and he drags Dean along with him. Dean settles in the angel’s arm, head on his chest and he closes his eyes. After a while his breathing slows down, following the rhythm of the angel’s heart as his mind slowly starts to clear.

He let his hand wander on Gabriel’s chest, playing with the fabric of his shirt. He wonders why the angel never takes his clothes off. He wishes he could touch him, really touch him and feel the warmth of his entire body. Just once would be enough. He’s never seen the angel take his own pleasure that often either. Hell, he hasn’t even seen the guy’s dick. Gabriel never tried to use his own body to fuck Dean, and it’s kind of odd. Well, he uses his hands often or his mouth but it’s not the same.

He wants to ask but he’s not sure the angel is going to answer. But at least he can try. He can take advantage of the mood they’re in to ask the question. He takes a small breath before opening his mouth.

“Master, can I ask you something?”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Sure. What is it?”

“I was wondering… Uh… Why you never…” He trails off, trying to come up with the right words. Saying it out loud seems kind of rude now that he thinks about it. “I, uh… I hope you won’t take that the wrong way but you’ve never uh…”

How can he say it without using words that’ll make him blush? He tries to find his words but he can’t. There’s no other way to say it.

“I’ve never what?” He sounds smug now.

Dean feels a blush coming to his face.

“Well you… You’ve never uh… Fucked me.” There. He said it.

“I certainly thought I had.” The angel answers playfully.

Dean pushes himself up to look at him. He knows he must be bright red by now but he forces himself to look at the angel anyway.

“You know what I mean. Like… Yourself, you know? You’ve never… Uh.”

Gabriel chuckles but he seems a bit embarrassed.

“I get it, Dean. Yeah, I know. I just… I just don’t think it’s necessary for me to be happy about what we do. Why? Do you want me to?”

Dean looks down and he nods.

“Well, yeah…” He looks up again sheepishly. “I would like that. A lot.”

Gabriel smiles and pulls Dean’s head toward his chest again. He runs his hand through Dean’s hair and sighs.

“I haven’t found that satisfying in a long while but… I’ll think about it. Maybe I’ll give it another try for you.”

Dean feels like it’s Christmas already. Nobody has ever told him they’d try something they don’t really like for him. It’s new, and it’s a great feeling.

“You don’t have to if you don’t like it.” He says, because he would still feel bad if it was the case.

He doesn’t think he’d appreciate it as much if the angel isn’t really into it.

“Like I said, I’ll think about it. Don’t worry for me, Dean.”

Dean huffs. “You worry for me all the time, the least I can do is do the same for you.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Sure it is. I just…” He’s not sure what he’s about to say is really right for pillow talk but he feels like he needs to. “After everything I’ve done I… I just don’t know why you’re so nice to me. I want to… I want to give something back, you know?”

The hand in his hair stops moving, and the angel clears his throat.

“You’re talking about Ana.”

“Yes.”

He’s going to get kicked out of the room. He knew he should have waited to say something like this.

“I uh… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for that.” The angels starts. And Dean feels his heart miss a beat. “But… You’re a good man, Dean. I know you are. And Cas told me what happened that night. It doesn’t excuse what you did but… I can understand you believed it was the right thing to do.”

And here’s the guilt. He hadn’t felt it that strongly in a long while.

“Would you believe me if I say I’m sorry?” He manages. “Really, truly sorry?”

Gabriel start playing with his hair again.

“Yes, Dean. I do.”

He feels his throat tightens but he opens his mouth anyway.

“Thanks.” He whispers.

Gabriel clears his throat again like he’s trying to shake the awkward feeling that fell onto them away.

“So anyways, we were talking aboutmy dick going into your ass. Maybe we should get back to this topic.”

Dean laughs. He feels better already, even if he’s still tired. A chill runs along his body and he slides under the sheets. He rolls on his belly and props himself on his elbows.

“Maybe you can make that my Christmas gift.” He says, a malicious smile tugging at his lips.

The angel leans back on his pillow.

“We don’t do Christmas here.”

“What?! Why?”

Dean is a bit scandalized by the news. The guy is an angel, isn’t it mandatory for him to celebrate all the religious stuff?

“I don’t know. We just don’t. It’s like an unspoken rule in the house. Nobody’s ever asked me for a Christmas party anyway. Not even for an evening off.”

“Well maybe it’s time to change the rule then.”

“Don’t you think I’m breaking enough rules with you already? Like how you’re supposed to use my title at all time in here for example. I’ve changed so many things because of you, Dean. I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I’m not sure the others will want to anyway.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah, sorry, _Master_ , but I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas. There’s eggnog and candy canes and gifts. You watch Christmas movies and you get drunk and tell embarrassing stories. How could anybody say no to that?”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him.

“Right. I’ll ask them. But I’m pretty sure they don’t really care.”

~*~

Jordan shrieks.

“That would be the best ever!!” She almost yells.

Everybody’s smiling. Gabriel looks surprised.

“Told ya…” Dean whispers.

He’s standing next to him so hopefully none of the others heard him. Gabriel called them all in the living room and they’re all standing in front of Dean and the angel.

“So… You all want to celebrate Christmas?” Gabriel asks again.

They all nod. Charlie has the same look on her face as Jordan. Bobby and Victor aren’t smiling but they look… less tense. Mrs. Herbert is smiling though, and it’s weird. Dean hasn’t seen her smile that often. Jessica and Gilda both look kind of relieved. Lisa is holding Ben tight.

“Why didn’t anybody asked for it before?” The angel asks again.

He looks taken aback.

“We didn’t thought you’d be okay with it.” Bobby says, looking at the others around him. “You never said anything about it.”

Gabriel turns to Dean and Dean smiles smugly at him.

“I guess we’re having a Christmas party then.” The angel says.

“We? So that means you’re coming too? ... Master?”

Gabriel clasps his hands behind his back and straightens up. Dean noticed he does that every time he wants to get back into the role of the Master. Most of the time that means he’s uncomfortable. Dean finds that cute.

“I wouldn’t want to make your party awkward. I’ll manage on my own.”

“Come ooon!” Dean turns to the others. “Guys!”

He tries to make them understand he wants them to say something. He still thinks slave owners are assholes, but Gabriel is better than most. If they celebrate Christmas, they can’t leave him on his own. Dean knows the guy feels lonely sometimes. Especially since Castiel isn’t around much. He noticed the angel looked a bit down recently after everything that happened. He’s pretty sure he would enjoy spending a bit of time with people, even if those people are his slaves.

“We’d be happy to have you.” Mrs. Herbert tries.

“Yes Master!” Jordan adds, her cheeks getting a bit red. “That’s be great if you came with us.”

“We, uh… We wouldn’t mind.” Bobby says more bluntly.

Dean rolls his eyes at him. The others nod.

“Nah, I wouldn’t want to impose on you.” Gabriel says again.

Dean lets out a frustrated sigh. “Well we’re inviting you. That’d be rude to refuse.” He gives the angel his best bitch face. “ _Master_.” He adds, half sarcastic.

Gabriel lets his arms fall at his side, his face unreadable. Then he crosses them on his chest and his mouth tightens in a thin line. After a few seconds of looking at them, he lets a huff out of his nose.

“Fine. Dean’s right. I can’t say no if you insist…”

Dean smiles. It’s gonna be one hell of a Christmas, he can feel it.

~*~

“That’s a lot of food.” Dean says, staring at the plates the girls are bringing in the living room.

They’ve brought some chairs and cushions in, a little table is set against one of the wall and Bobby is lighting a fire in the big fireplace next to it.

“We made the same amount as usual…” Lisa answers, walking to Dean and stopping there to stare at the table too.

“We’re usually serving angels though.” Jessica says.

She’s bringing in the smallest Christmas tree Dean has ever seen. Jordan is following her carrying an old cardboard box covered in dust. There’s ‘Chr. Deco.’ Written in big black letters on it. Dean keeps staring at the table, wondering how they’ll eat all that before it spoils.

There’s a shit ton of roast turkey bits cut and put on a giant plate (He hasn’t eaten meat in a while though, he feels his mouth watering at the sight), an apple pie he made as per Jordan’s request, mash potatoes, pees, rice, a pumpkin pie, fruitcake, gingerbread, a little bowl of cranberry sauce and a giant pot of eggnog. Gilda is bringing a basket full of candies too.

“I’m guessing we’ll have a lot of left-overs at least…”

“Don’t worry about that!” He hears Gabriel say.

He turns around and see that the angel is coming in. There’s a beat of silence as everyone turns around but Jessica nudges at Jordan and they start decorating the little tree and chatting happily again, and everyone relaxes.

Gabriel walks to Dean, hands behind his back.

“So. I looked around and… You’ll never guess what I found in the attic.”

Dean raises an eyebrow at him.

“What?”

The angel lifts both his hands, palms up, and suddenly he’s holding an old projector. The kind you can plug to a DVD player or a VCR.

“Haven’t seen those in a while.” He smiles.

He remembers having seen one when he was very little. They had spent an entire day watching cartoons on one of these with Sam. He doesn’t remember who owned it. Probably one of John’s friend who took care of them when their dad went on a hunt and they were too little to go along.

“Yeah, I know… I’m not sure it works well too but… We can try plugging it in, at least.”

“Here, I’ll do it.” Dean says, taking the thing carefully in his hands.

Gabriel follows him as he walks to the closest plug socket and hands him the wires that go with it. Dean kneels down to install everything and for a second he feels the need to part his knees, stand straighter and put his hands on his thighs since the angel is standing so close to him and it makes him blush a little. He doesn’t though. He bends down instead, plugs the thing and settles it on a little table that’s standing next to the plug.

“I only found one movie, though.” The angel says.

Dean looks up and he sees Gabriel is rubbing the back of his neck.

“Which one?”

Gabriel clears his throat and he holds out a tape. Dean almost chokes on his saliva.

“Oh my god! Uhm…” He tries not to laugh as he stares at the jacket. “Uh… Grease. That’s nice.”

“It’s not a Christmas movie.”

Dean feels the laugh bubble up his throat but he holds it in as best as he can.

“Uh, no, not really but… uh… It’ll do, I guess?”

Gabriel sighs. He looks so comically defeated Dean can’t help but laugh.

“If you don’t like this one, why don’t you just zap another out of thin air like you usually do?”

“I don’t zap things out of thin air. I need to know where they are first. And there’s no way I’m going to steal a movie from a random shop, even if it’s Christmas.”

Well it explains the need for slaves, at least. Can’t create what isn’t there, uh. Makes sense.

“Okay, well. If you can find a VCR somewhere we’ll watch it while eating, right?”

“Yeah. While I do that you’ll try and remember what it’s like to be a proper slave, alright?”

He gives Dean his most serious look, but there’s an edge of playfulness to his voice.

“Sorry Master. Yes Master. I’ll do the thing Master.” Dean says in a fake, supplicant voice.

“Shut up and go help the girls. Don’t make me punish you again.”

Dean just smile smugly at that.

“Uh, maybe I’m doing it on purpose. I kind of miss Gregory already.” He whispers.

Gabriel crosses his arms on his chest and raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, well maybe you’re not giving enough credit to my imagination. Maybe I could use the things we discussed when we talked about you soft limits and have you go through all of them until you learn to enjoy them properly. We don’t need Gregory for that.”

Dean feels his blood rush down all of a sudden. Gabriel’s voice went down an octave as he spoke and it does all sort of weird things to him. He tries to reason himself. _Come on_. _There’s a kid in the room, Dean!_

Someone clears their throat behind them and they turn around. Charlie is looking at them, she seems a bit embarrassed but she’s smiling like she thinks they’re cute. Dean realizes it looks like they were flirting. Uh.

“Everything’s ready, Master.” She says.

“Right. Thank you Charlie. I need to fetch something and we’ll be good.”

She nods and goes back to the other who are starting to sit down wherever they can. Dean joins them and they start chatting happily together. He notices there are gifts next to the little tree. He gets up quickly and takes a small, poorly wrapped gift from his pocket and put it down with the others. He gets back to sit on the couch between Jess and Charlie.

They decided to do a secret Santa thing. They don’t have money so they can’t buy anything, but they’re all more or less good with their hands so they thought it would be more thoughtful anyway to make something themselves. Gabriel was very adamant about not participating though. He said it would be weird, which Dean kind of agrees with. He doesn’t mind. Giving them Christmas is enough, he thinks. He hasn’t celebrated it in a couple of years. They always had something coming up that time of year. And to be honest he’s usually pretty nervous about it. Sam doesn’t like it anymore ever since their Dad died, and Dean always fears Christmas mornings. This year though, it’s different. It’s good.

It feels like home and family.

Gabriel comes back with a VCR in hands and Dean is about to get up again to help but Charlie puts her hand on his shoulder and gets up to do it herself. A couple of minutes later everything is set and they turn on the projector. The wall are painted red and it’s difficult to see anything on it. Gabriel just waves at it and a white sheet falls from the ceiling to the floor, covering the entirety of the wall. Yeah, that’s better.

So they all settle and Dean can’t help laughing at Gabriel’s face when they start the movie but soon everyone gets caught in it and it turns out Jess and Charlie have seen it before so Dean doesn’t feel too alone in this. They start on the eggnog right away as they eat and half-way through the movie Dean already feels pleasantly warm. He can feel the buzz of alcohol running through his veins and he catches himself mouthing the lyrics once or twice as the movie goes on.

Jordan is fascinated by Sandy. She blushes when Charlie asks her what she thinks of Danny, and she just says he has a nice voice. As the end of the movie draws close, Charlie starts singing, so Dean feels like he has to follow as well and they starts having duets until Jess joins them too. Gabriel is sitting a bit away from them, like he’s trying to make them forget about him, and he just smiles as he watches them.

“Oh! Oh! Favorite song!” Charlie exclaims as Sandy appears all cladded in leather.

Dean just quirks an eyebrow at her as the music start and he gets up, his half-full glass of eggnog in hand.

“ _I got chiiills! They’re multiplyiiin’!_ ” He sings, holding his hand down to Charlie. “ _And I’m loosing controo-oh-l! ‘Coz the poweeer you’re supplyin’, it’s electrifyin’!!”_

Charlie burst out laughing as she takes his hand and get up too. Mimicking Sandy’s dance moves she pushes Dean backward as she starts singing too.

“ _You better shape up! ‘cause I need a man!”_

“Oh, really, do you now?” Dean answers.

Jessica snorts into her glass as she tries not to spill what she just drank.

“ _And my heart is set on you!_ ” Charlie goes on.

Dean turns to Gilda and shrugs. Gilda laughs. They try to keep singing but they’re laughing too hard and by the end of it they’re just curling up together on the floor as Dean tries to catch his breath.

“Idjits…” Bobby says, filling his glass again.

Gabriel looks like he doesn’t know whether he should laugh or cry and it sends Dean in another fit of giggles. Jordan looks at the screen in awe and Dean sees she’s struggling to keep her eyes open to see what’s going to happen next. Soon the credits roll out and they manage to stop laughing as Mrs. Herbert gets up.

“Alright, time to open the gifts. I see some here who really need to go to bed.” She stares at Jordan with an authoritative look and Jordan just stares back and pouts.

But the puppy-eyes thing doesn’t work on Mrs. Herbert apparently and Jordan just sighs and looks away. She turns to Dean instead.

“Are there really places where people don’t have Masters like in the movie?”

He’s taken aback by the question and he glances at Gabriel before he answers. The angel looks as surprised as he is and he just shrugs at Dean. Dean looks at Jordan again.

“Uh… Sure. That’s how they make the movies in the first place, you know. They, uh… That’s their job. Some make movies, others write books or make music.”

Jordan frowns.

“Why?”

“Uh. They like it I guess? They get money from it too. That’s their job. That’s how they live.”

“You had a job too?”

_Bad timing for those kind of question, Jordan_ , he thinks. He rubs at his neck. He hasn’t thought about the garage in a long while and it makes something twist unpleasantly in his guts.

“Yeah, I did.”

“In a movie?”

He laughs, trying to shake the feeling away.

“No, I fixed cars. Not everybody has talent for those kinds of things.”

Jordan looks like she wants to ask a lot more but Mrs. Herbert clears her throat and hands her a gift.

“That’s yours. Merry Christmas.” She says to the girl.

It’s Dean’s gift. He really should learn how to wrap them, he thinks as he looks at the thing. She opens it eagerly, tearing the wrapping apart. Well, at least she doesn’t mind that it looks like shit. When she sees the small frame and the picture inside she slowly freezes and she blinks a few times.

“I uh… Just made the frame.” He says.

It’s a picture of her mother when she first got here. He asked Gabriel for something like this without really hoping it would exist, because who would take pictures of some random slaves, right? But Gabriel had one, taken a few days after he took the girl’s mother in. She’s pregnant on the picture, and she’s smiling shyly. Bobby and Victor are standing next to her, straight as poles like they don’t really know how to behave in front of a camera. She doesn’t look tense though, she’s just resting her hand on her belly gently. Her other arm is in a cast and it looks like she’s trying to hide it for the picture.

Dean made a wooden frame to put it in, so that Jordan would be able to hang it somewhere, above her bed maybe. He tried to make it look nice, he even engraved some flowers around it and painted it as best as he could. The end result is… Well he doesn’t have a word for it, he still thinks it’s pretty shitty, but Jordan looks up with tears in her eyes and she takes a breath like she’s holding back a sob.

“Thanks.” She whispers.

And she looks back down on it and she smiles.

_Okay, Dean, don’t fucking cry._

“Uh, okay, who’s next?” He says, because he really wants things to get all drunk-happy again.

He doesn’t like getting emotional. They start moving again and exchange their gifts one after the other until it’s Dean’s turn to open his own. Gabriel, who’s sitting next to the tree, grabs the last gift and hands it to him.

Dean knows Lisa made it for him. He’s pretty sure it’s something she knitted since he saw her work on something a few days ago. He unwraps it and opens the box. It’s a pair of socks. They’re thick and they look really comfortable, but he can’t help but laugh uncontrollably at the first thought that come to his mind when he sees them. It’s not Lisa’s fault, really, he can’t help it.

“What?” Gabriel asks.

He blinks at Dean while he waits for him to stop laughing enough to be able to answer.

“Master gave Dobby a sock!” Dean says, taking a high-pitched voice. “Dobby is free!”

Charlie burst out laughing and she almost fall from the couch. Jessica clasps her hand in front of her mouth to prevent herself from doing the same. Gabriel rolls his eyes and Dean can see he’s trying not to laugh too. The others look at Dean like he just spoke in a foreign language.

“Harry Potter?” He says, looking at them when the laughter dies away.

They all look at each other, obviously not knowing what he’s talking about.

“Nevermind. Thanks Lisa!”

He leans toward her and give her a small hug.

“Right!” Mrs. Hebert exclaims. “Bed time now!”

Jordan tries to protest but she’s half sitting, half lying at Jessica’s feet and she can’t really fight as Mrs. Herbert pulls her up.

“You too, Ben.” Lisa says, standing up.

“What? No! I- I can…” He tries to get up but he misses a step.

So yeah maybe eggnog wasn’t really a good idea. Dean realizes he probably never drank alcohol before. Lisa sighs and helps him up. She drags him toward the exit, following Mrs. Herbert and Jordan.

“Good night!” She says as she exit the room.

Dean just waves at her and turns to the others.

“Right. So, next Christmas tradition: embarrassing stories sharing time!”

He lets himself slid on the floor and gestures for them to do the same.

“I’m too old for this!” Bobby says, and he stands up and walks to the door.

Victor does too. “Uh, same.”

He empties his glass in one go and follows Bobby out as well. Jessica sits on the floor too, next to Dean. Charlie follows and drags Gilda along with her until Gilda is sitting between her legs. Gilda seems a bit embarrassed to be behaving like this in front of Gabriel but the angel just winks at them and she smiles shyly, looking away.

Dean stares at Gabriel and raises an eyebrow at him.

“We’re waiting.” He says.

Gabriel huffs. “No way I’m sitting on the floor.”

“Don’t act all precious now.”

The angel shakes his head like he can’t believe what he’s about to do but he stand up and walks closer to sit next to Dean.

“I’m going to need something stronger for this…” He mutters, pulling a bottle of scotch out of thin air. “Who wants some?”

They empty half the bottle while they listen to Charlie. Gilda blushes a lot the whole time, and Dean can’t believe Charlie has so many embarrassing stuff to tell about herself. Jessica says a thing or two too that makes Dean rethink the way he sees her. Gabriel refuses to tell anything about himself but he comments on everything they say and even starts giving imaginary stars to their stories. The more stars, the more he liked it. They laugh a lot, until Charlie turns to Dean.

“What about you? Come on, say something!”

“Uh, I don’t have much to say, I don’t do… crazy stuff.”

Gabriel laughs at that but Dean ignores him.

“I’ll help!” Charlie beams. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you did to get laid?”

He feels himself blush and he avoids Gabriel’s eyes as best as he can. He’s not gonna tell any story involving the angel, that’s for sure. He knows what story he can talk about. The heat in his cheeks intensify.

“Oooh look at that. That’s an eight, at least.” Jessica says, looking intensely at his face.

“What?” He croaks.

“We rate your blushes.” Charlie answers, matter-of-factly.

“Yeah. From one to ten. We can almost tell what you’re thinking about thanks to that.”

“Uhuh. Like you’re always a ten every time you come back from… You know. All day long.”

Dean let his head fall on his chest to hide his face. He groans. Gabriel laughs happily.

“It’s true you blush a lot. That’s cute.” He says, smirking.

“Come on, tell your story!” Charlie insists.

He raises his head again.

“Okay, okay. Uhm.” He takes a sip of scotch before he goes on. Charlie leans forward like she’s watching a very interesting movie. “I was nineteen. There was this girl, uh, she had those really… really pink, kind of satiny underwear you know. She… uh… Made me put them on.”

Charlie opens her mouth, looking perfectly delighted. Jessica is holding back a laugh. Dean doesn’t look to see what face Gabriel is making.

“How was it?” Jess asks.

“Uh, comfortable? I actually liked the feeling.” He tries to make it sound like a joke.

“I’ll keep that in mind…” Gabriel says, emptying his drink.

Dean feels heat coming to his face again and he tries to hide it but Charlie just points at him and laugh.

“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a ten.”

“Was it worth it, though? Did you get some after that?” Jess goes on.

Dean lifts his knees up and hold them in front of his chest.

“Yeah I did. And anything works when you’re nineteen, you know.”

He has to admit he’s having fun, even if he usually doesn’t like talking about himself. The alcohol helps too. He’s pretty smashed by now.

Gilda yawns suddenly and Charlie stretches.

“Well, that was a beautiful story, but I think it’s time for us to go to bed, too.”

Jessica nods and they all stand up.

“Okay kids, sleep it off tomorrow and do what you can to avoid the hangover.” Gabriel tells the girls.

They nod. Charlie takes Gilda’s hand and walks out. Jessica follows them. Dean blinks a few times at the door. He feels a bit dizzy but he’s warm and he’s not too tired yet. He turns to Gabriel.

“So, Dean. Ready for your Christmas gift?”

“What?”

“You forgot.”

Dean tries to think about it, the alcohol makes everything feel fuzzy. And then it hits him. He remembers the conversation they had a week before and his eyes widen.

“Oh. Oh. Really?”

Gabriel just wriggles his eyebrows at him.

“Come with me.”

Curious, Dean follows. They usually require a bit of preparation before they get at it so he wonders where they’re going. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to go through the ritual right now. Taking off his clothes, washing himself, waiting for Gabriel to be ready, waiting to be tied up properly, and then waiting for Gabriel to stop teasing and really get at it, really he can’t do that tonight.

But they stop in front of the angel’s study and Gabriel pushes him inside. He closes the door behind him and goes straight to his desk.

“Come here.” He instructs.

Dean goes to stand next to him. He doesn’t know what to expect, but he’s starting to get an idea. Desk sex seems like a nice way to end the night. Gabriel eyes him for a second, sigh, and suddenly moves so fast Dean doesn’t know what’s happening until he’s facing the desk, hands pinned to it by the angel’s own.

“Wow. Okay.” He breathes.

Gabriel drapes his body over Dean’s and pushes his hands close together until he can hold Dean like this with just one of his hand. He lets the other slide under Dean’s shirt and slowly runs it along Dean’s stomach. Dean feels his whole body tingle with want. He’s getting hard faster than he would have thought he could, with the alcohol and all. He can feel the angel’s breath on his neck and it sends his blood straight to his dick.

“I’m going to do something, but I don’t want you to panic, alright?” The angel whispers in his ear.

He feels his heart beating faster at that but he nods obediently.

“Yes Master.” He whispers back.

He feel like millions of little insects are running through his body, starting from the point where Gabriel’s hands touch his skin, all the way up to his neck and he holds his breath for a second. Then the angel lets go of him and he tries to straighten up a little bit but he can’t.

He’s paralyzed from the waist up.

“What did you do?” He asks, feeling a bit of panic rising inside his chest.

Gabriel runs a hand up his arm soothingly.

“Don’t worry it’s not permanent. It’s just Grace, Dean, it won’t hurt you. I don’t have the patience to tie you up, that’s all.”

Okay. Okay, well, that’s weird but he thinks he can deal. He tries to slow the rhythm of his heart by taking deep breaths. The angel pushes his legs apart with his knees and he settles in between them, rubbing his erection against Dean’s ass.

“I’m just trying to make things easier for me, you understand?”

Dean doesn’t really, but he nods anyway. He doesn’t know why the angel needs to tie people up to be able to get off, he hopes that way it’ll be good for Gabriel too at least.

The angel doesn’t lose time. He yanks Dean’s pants and underwear down and rubs at Dean’s hole with slick fingers. He pushes one finger in, rather harshly, and Dean hisses.

“Sorry…” The angel whispers. “I uh… The scotch takes all patience away from me.”

Dean chuckles and he tries to relax. Yeah, he still feels the buzz of alcohol too, and it helps. He pushes his ass onto Gabriel’s finger to show him it’s fine. He needs to go faster. Dean wants it, he wants it so bad.

Another finger joins the first and Dean bites on his lower lips. Yes, yes, just like this, it’s just perfect and he starts feeling the pleasure coiling tightly inside of him at the thought of what’s coming next. Judging by how hard the angel is breathing he thinks maybe he’s feeling the same.

“Dean I- Is it okay if I just-“

“Yes! Yes, please!”

Dean hears the distinctive noise of a zipper being pulled down before he feels the hot, hot head of Gabriel’s cock at his entrance. He can’t help but let a shaky breath out in anticipation. He stands very still and he waits. He can feel desire pumping through his veins, following the rhythm of his blood and he thinks if the angel doesn’t do something soon he’s going to go crazy.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” Gabriel whispers.

And he pushes in.

It’s everything Dean imagined and more. It’s warm, and soft, and alive, really alive, and Dean pushes back to get all of it inside of him as fast as possible because he needs it, he needs everything Gabriel has to give him right now.

Finally, the angel is all the way in and he stops for a second, propping himself up with one hand on the desk, pulling his body close to Dean’s with the other on Dean’s belly.

“Heavens, Dean I-“ He let his head gently rest on Dean’s back and he waits.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks, a bit out of breath.

Because it feels perfect and hot and he needs the angel to move but he doesn’t want to go through with it if Gabriel can’t take it.

“Yes, yes, I am I just… This is… More than I remembered…”

Dean huffs a little laugh and it makes his ass jump a bit. He hears Gabriel gasp. They stay like this for a little while and Dean tries to be patient.

Finally, very carefully, Gabriel pulls out until Dean can only feel the tip of his cock and he pushes in again.

“Ah! Dean… You’re so tight. So perfect…” He breathes.

The words sends goose bumps running up his arms. He can’t believe it’s real. He feels Gabriel’s skin, actual skin against his ass and it’s wonderful. He wishes he could reach behind him and hold the angel’s tight against himself but he can’t, he can’t move and so he pushes his ass back as much as he can and he spreads his legs more.

Gabriel picks up a rhythm and he keeps going and going and going and Dean feels like he’s going to burst.

“D-Don’t come until I- I Tell you…”

Dean nods. Right, yes, he can do that. He can wait for the angel. He tries to focus on that, to focus on pleasing the angel but he’s been waiting for this for so long he’s not sure he’s going to hold.

Gabriel lets out a pained moan as he goes faster and Dean can feel he’s shaking. All he can hear is the sound of the angel’s hips slapping against his ass and his ragged breathing in his ear and it’s so hot, it’s so perfect he can’t help but moan too.

It’s the first time Gabriel seem to be losing his control and it’s amazing.

“Dean… Dean, I-“ He doesn’t seem to know what he wants to say next, he just moans louder and Dean knows he’s close.

He thinks maybe he’s going to get punished for what he’s about to do, but right now he doesn’t care. He just lets go of the pleasure. He lets it explode and he comes, so hard he’s seeing stars. He feels his ass clench around Gabriel’s length and the angel cries out and his whole body tenses.

Dean feels his dick pulse inside of him, he feels the hot, wet spurt of come shoot inside of him as Gabriel freezes, his hand holding on so tightly to Dean’s stomach it feels like the angel is going to rip him apart.

Then he lets out a huge breath and his grip on Dean releases. He’s breathing so hard Dean is worried for a second. The feeling of being paralyzed disappears slowly and lets his arm spread on the desk.

“I told you not to come until I said so…” Gabriel manages in between ragged breaths.

Dean can’t help but smile at that.

“Sorry.”

There’s a beat of silence. Gabriel brushes his lips against Dean’s neck as he pulls his length out of Dean’s ass.

“Don’t be. I’m not even mad. That was amazing.”

Dean chuckles. He can feel the come leaking out of his hole slowly. He feel oddly sad about that. He wants to keep everything inside. As if everything that came from Gabriel was too precious to waste.

And then he realizes that’s kind of creepy and gross. Yeah, he’s still pretty wasted.

“I’m gonna puke.” He says, matter-of-factly.

Orgasms don’t mix well with scotch apparently.

“Avoid the area of my shoes then. I can’t move right now.”

“Damn, I’m good!”

Gabriel laughs at that and pushes himself away. “Shut your cake hole and put up your pants!”

Dean can’t help the goofy grin that spreads on his face as he pulls his pants up and button himself. When he turns around Gabriel is fully clothed, he’s not sweating anymore, even if Dean is pretty sure he must have been looking deliciously debauched not a second ago, and he’s smiling gently back at Dean.

“We should do that more often.” Dean says, using his flirtiest tone.

The angel is still standing very close to Dean and Dean can’t help but look at his mouth. He licks his lips and let his hand run over the angel’s chest. Gabriel takes a step back, puts his hands behind his back and straightens up. Uh.

“I don’t know. It’s… Different from what I’m used to.”

Dean doesn’t understand why he looks so cautious all of a sudden. He’s still basking in post-orgasm bliss and he can feel the pleasant buzz of alcohol running through his veins.

“You said it was amazing.”

“It was, I just… Maybe we should talk about it another time.” Dean frowns. “It’s late, Dean. And you’re drunk. You should go to bed.”

Gabriel is looking away, avoiding his eyes at all cost. Suddenly Dean feels cold. The mood changed so quickly he doesn’t know what happened. Okay so maybe the flirting was a bit too much.

He feels something tug at his heart, and it’s not a good feeling. He feels the grin slowly slip from his lips. He bends his head in what he hopes looks like a respectful gesture. He shouldn’t have said that. It was just old reflexes coming back. He forgot for a second that Gabriel isn’t just a one-night stand,  he’s not a girl he just had a good time with, he’s his Master. And even if they got pretty close the last couple months he shouldn’t have let himself feel safe enough to joke around like that. He should have just shut his mouth.

“Yes Master.”

He wanted to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal but somehow his voice has trouble coming out, and it sounds more sad than anything.

“Don’t… It’s okay, Dean, I’m not mad, don’t-”

“Don’t What?”

He looks up and he’s a bit pissed now he doesn’t even know why. It’s not his fault that the angel told him he was doing it to make him happy, and it’s certainly not his fault that Dean took that as a sign that Gabriel liked him a little bit more than he should and that Dean was maybe more than a fuck toy to him. He’s just human, he can’t help it if he sometimes assumes things, especially things like this, he can’t help it that he’s just so lonely he looks forward to every minute he gets to spend in the angel’s bed and he thought maybe Gabriel felt the same way too.

And yeah, maybe he thought that he made it good, so good the angel wouldn’t want to stop fucking him after that. Maybe he thought they could start having a relationship that would feel more like those Dean was used to. The guy never even takes his clothes off, it drives Dean mad. Mad that he always get to be obedient and take it until the angel is satisfied.

Suddenly he doesn’t like it anymore. For the first time in months he just wants to get out of here, of the room, of the mansion, and he wants to find Sam again and go home and leave all of that shit behind him. He wants to tell Gabriel to fuck off.

“Watch your tone, Dean.”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Or what? You’re going to punish me again?!”

He’s so mad, so, so mad he can’t help it. He knows he’s going to regret it in the morning. He knows it’s just the alcohol talking but he can’t stop himself. Gabriel grits his jaws and he lets his arms fall at his side. Dean sees he’s tightening his fist, probably trying to not punch Dean in the face or something. He’s angry too, then. Good.

“Dean. I’m not warning you twice.”

“I’m sure you’re waiting for it anyway…” Dean goes on. It’s like his mouth is on auto-pilot. “You can’t get it up if you can’t control me so when something doesn’t go as planned I have to go back to being a good little boy, is that it?” He’s so shocked by what he’s daring to say he’s half laughing by now. “I know it’s just me! I’m stupid to think I’m more than a toy to you, I’m pretty sure you don’t even give a sh-“

He can’t get to finish because Gabriel took a step up to him, grabbed one of his arm and turned him back, pulling his arm high behind him until he feels a whimper coming out of his throat. It fucking hurts and he can’t help it. He’s pushed against the desk and Gabriel keeps pulling on his arm until he stops trying to escape the angel’s grip.

“Are you done?” Gabriel asks in his ear.

The cold anger in his voice startles Dean. It sobers him up right away. He nods. But Gabriel doesn’t let go.

“I don’t ever want to hear anything like that again, you understand?”

Dean nods again. He feels tears coming to his eyes and the anger slips away. He probably ruined everything. He’s already not a very good slave, he thinks he’s an okay sub now that he knows a thing or two and they got to practice but he’s still not there yet. He tried his best to please Gabriel because, God! Does he like it when the angel is proud of him, he doesn’t know why, it just awakens something inside of him he didn’t know he could feel every time and now he ruined everything by opening his fucking mouth. It’s just the alcohol. He doesn’t even think half of the things he just said.

“I’m sorry.” He tries.

It comes out as a whisper, he’s not sure Gabriel heard him. He feels his body go limp in the angel’s arms. His own arm hurts but he barely registers the pain.

“I think it’s time for you to go now.” Gabriel says again.

“I’m sorry.” He repeats.

The angel lets go of him and he turns around sheepishly. But Gabriel is turning his back on him, he walks away toward the couch.

“Go to bed, Dean.”

But Dean can’t move, he can just stare at Gabriel’s back hoping the angel will say something that’ll show he’s not that mad because he’s not sure he can go to sleep without knowing things are okay between them. It was just the alcohol. He hadn’t drank in a long time. Surely the angel understands.

“I-I didn’t mean that, okay? I don’t know why I said that, please, I’m so-“

“I said get out!”

Gabriel didn’t raise his voice, but somehow it cuts Dean off and when the angel turns around and looks at him it makes his blood run cold. There’s nothing there. Not even the anger Dean can hear in his voice.

He has to look away because it’s unbearable. He forces himself to move, and he feels the last remnants of the angel’s come sliding slowly down his thigh and it makes him feel sick. He rushes out of the room and he locks himself in the slaves’ bathroom.

He lets the hot water run over him until he’s not feeling so dizzy and nauseous anymore, and he scrubs himself clean until his skin burns.

He can fix this. He can try to fix this. He can’t live here for the rest of his life without this. He needs Gabriel and his crazy kinky sex because it’s the only thing that helps him go through his days.

He can fix this. He knows he can.

~*~

Gabriel hasn’t called him that week. The New Year is here and Dean feels like shit. The angel hasn’t even talked to him since Christmas. The others are starting to notice something’s wrong because Dean can’t keep pretending he’s fine. He’s not. He can’t do anything without being reminded of Gabriel, of his hands, of his eyes, of the special smile Dean is pretty sure is just for him, and it drives him crazy. He has even stopped working on the Impala. He thinks maybe the angel will notice he’s punishing himself, and he’ll reconsider.

Dean wants to show him he’ll be good from now on, he just doesn’t know how. The Impala is a first step, but he’s not sure it’s working.

He’s in the little woods behind the garden, chopping logs to re-fill the supplies for the end of the winter when he hears a flutter of wings behind him and for a second he feels his heart skip a beat. When he turns around he has trouble hiding his disappointment. It’s Castiel, and he’s squinting at him like he doesn’t understand what Dean is doing.

“Hello, Dean.” He says.

Dean shivers a bit. He’s been caught in the work so he wasn’t feeling that cold, but seeing the angel and the little clouds puffing out of his mouth as he spoke reminds him he’s standing outside, in the snow, with nothing but a long sleeve shirt on.

“Hi.” He answers.

After a few encounters he knows Castiel doesn’t care much about the title. So he stopped using it with him when Gabriel or any other angel isn’t around. Castiel never said anything about it and never shown any discomfort.

“You look… I believe my brother would say you ‘look like crap’.”

Dean glares at him.

“Thanks.”

He turns his back on Castiel with the firm intention to keep on working until he goes away. He doesn’t want to talk. He’s just not in the mood.

“What’s happening, Dean?”

He’s startled by the question. He turns to Castiel again.

“What do you mean?”

Castiel sighs and look away like he can see something that Dean cannot. It’s kind of annoying, that habits he has of not looking at you while he talks to you. Dean doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to it.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this but this is getting annoying…” He looks at Dean again. “Gabriel has been really moody these last few days. I’m guessing it has something to do with you. What did you do?”

Dean feels a surge of indignation before he remembers that, yeah, he actually did something wrong. Even he feels like Gabriel did too somehow, he’s still the one who yelled and got angry over nothing.

“I don’t… I… This is none of your business…”

Really, who does the guy think he is? Dean is not going to blab about any of this to anyone.

“Actually it is. Angels keep getting murdered. We have no clue who is behind this. I really need Gabriel’s full attention on this and he acts like he doesn’t even care anymore. He can’t behave like this, he has responsibilities. And he’s avoiding them because of you. I strongly suggest you go and talk to him.”

Dean lets the head of the axe he’s holding rest on the floor and he rubs at his neck, looking away.

“I don’t think I can do much about it… He doesn’t care that much about me, there must be something else. No disrespect but I think you’re wrong.”

Castiel doesn’t move, he doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

“How long have you been here, Dean?”

Dean looks up again. He clears his throat. Yeah, he can feel a lecture coming.

“Uh, a little over four months, give or take.”

“I’ve known Gabriel for millennia. Don’t you think I know my brother better than you do?”

“Uh… Of course, I didn’t mean-“

“So when I tell you you’re the cause of this, believe me. You _are_ the cause of this. I’m ordering you to fix it, and quick. Do I need to remind you I’m partly your Master too?”

Dean looks at the floor. Uh, he angered Castiel a bit. This is not good. He’s never seen Castiel angry, he really doesn’t want to. Gabriel told him enough about that one time they went to Greece and a local God pissed Castiel off for Dean to know it’s not a good idea. He’s still shivering at the thought of what the angel did to the God. Even Gabriel can’t stop talking about it. It makes him laugh. Dean thinks it’s the most terrifying story he’s ever heard.

“Sorry, Master.” He says.

“You’ll go talk to Gabriel?”

“Yeah. Yes. I will.”

“Good.”

Dean dares looking up and sees that Castiel is staring into nothing again. He said the angel murders were going on. He’s so curious, but he thinks maybe now is not the right time. On the other hand, he knows if Castiel leaves now he doesn’t know when he’ll see him again. Last time he left for an entire month.

“Uh, Master Castiel? Can I… uh… Ask you something?”

Castiel squints at him. He takes that as a yes.

“You said… You had troubles with the case?”

He raises his eyebrows, giving Castiel a curious look. Castiel stares at him a little more until finally he lets out a breath and opens his mouth.

“Lucifer has been attacked as well. You probably know about Raphael, too…”

Dean nods. Yeah, but Gabriel hasn’t talked about it though.

“Two of Lucifer’s slaves were killed. Raphael’s house has been destroyed. His slaves slaughtered. We didn’t found his body, just the imprint of it… We found some of the demons responsible for the other killings but we can’t get our hands on the one who’s pulling the strings. We have absolutely no clue about who it could be. We tried many things with the demons we found but… They wouldn’t tell us anything. I’m afraid we’ve reached a dead end… That’s why I need Gabriel to focus, you understand?”

Dean nods again. He tries to think about what it could mean, his hunter instinct coming back full force. It doesn’t make any sense.

“You don’t know what their motive is?”

Castiel shakes his head ‘no’.

“Unfortunately, no. None of them spoke. Like I said, we tried everything. Even torture doesn’t work on them. I think they fear death less than they fear whoever it is that’s ordering them to do what they’re doing. It’s nothing I’ve ever seen before…”

Yeah, demons being loyal to someone other than themselves? All kinds of creepy and weird.

“I haven’t told you any of this. Do you understand? You don’t know anything about this if anyone asks…”

“Of course, Master.”

He shifts his weight, balancing from one foot to the other and he waits. The angel is still looking at him in that contemplative way of his.

“I think I’ll… let you get back to work now.”

“Uh. Okay.”

There’s the familiar sound of wings and he’s gone. Dean blinks, getting rid of the image of Castiel still imprinted on his retina. That guy’s really weird. And Dean really doesn’t want to get on his bad side.

So he guesses he has to go talk to Gabriel now, uh?


	6. Happy Birthday, Dean

He waits another week, just in case, but Gabriel doesn’t call him. So yeah, he really has to take things in his own hands. It’s not just because Castiel asked him to though. He really wants to make up with Gabriel. He doesn’t know how, but he knows he needs to. He misses the bastard, for one thing. He never thought he would, but he really does.

And it’s totally not because he feels too bad to masturbate too. Okay, yeah, maybe it is a bit. More than two weeks without release is really hard. He’s not used to it anymore. But he just can’t. He thought about it once and he felt like he was betraying the angel somehow. He hates it, but he can’t help it.

But he genuinely misses all the other things too, the little things that makes everything feel special. And Gabriel is just plain ignoring him, even when Dean is working with the others and Gabriel comes to check on them (which he does a lot usually, but less since Christmas). The others noticed. Charlie won’t stop asking Dean what’s wrong. He loves her, really, like a sister but he just can’t talk about it. He knows she’s going to lecture him too and he’s so not ready for that. He knows he fucked up. He doesn’t need other people telling him he did. Jessica doesn’t say anything but she glares a lot and Dean thinks she would be even worse than Charlie if she knew. He just doesn’t want to imagine if they came at him both at once.

Castiel came by again once and he squinted at Dean until Dean couldn’t take it anymore and had to go hide some place the angel wouldn’t come and find him. So, basically, he really needs to grow a pair and go talk to Gabriel, he just doesn’t know what he’s going to say and he really doesn’t feel like being rejected these days.

He can’t go find Gabriel in his study, that’s for sure. He doesn’t want to. Other places in the house would be too awkward, and he doesn’t think the angel would take it gracefully if Dean cornered him without warning in the living room or the middle of a corridor. So that leaves Gabriel’s room. Dean briefly thought about surprising him, waiting naked and kneeling in front of the bed but he’s also not sure how Gabriel would take that so he quickly shove the idea away.

He settles for the simplest solution in the end. He waits until everyone is in their bed, on a day he knows Gabriel won’t be working too late. When he silently walks up the stairs that leads up to Gabriel’s chambers and walk past his study, he sees there’s no light on. So he knows Gabriel is probably in his room. He knows angels don’t sleep if they don’t want to, but when Gabriel doesn’t feel good Dean knows he does, just to pass the time or forget about everything for a few hours. So he just hopes really hard the angel isn’t asleep and he goes to knock at the door.

He hears heavy footsteps behind the door and he takes a breath, bracing himself for what’s coming.

“Cas, I already told you I don’t want to talk about it, I swear, if you try to-“

The angel stops talking as he opens the door and realizes it’s Dean. He blinks at him, more surprised than anything, until he schools his face to a neutral expression.

“What do you want?”

Dean feels like his heart is going to explode because yes, Gabriel is actually talking to him, and he didn’t realize he missed his voice so much.

“Can we talk?” He just says.

Because he doesn’t know how to present things and he doesn’t think doing this in the hallway would be appropriate. Gabriel sighs.

“Did Cas threaten you?”

Dean huffs a little awkward laugh.

“Uh… Not threatened, per say but… He kinda ordered me to come talk to you actually.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes and put one hand on his hip, looking more annoyed than anything else.

“He’s not going to let go until we do, so… Come in. Make yourself at home or whatever…”

He turns around and goes to sit on the couch. A fire is lit, and it’s comfortably warm inside. There’s not light except from the one coming from the fireplace, and it makes everything look cozy. They haven’t done anything on the couch, so Dean supposes it’s something more of a personal corner where Gabriel spends his time when he wants to relax or something.

He shuts the door behind him and follows the angel. There’s an open book and a glass of wine set on the little round table next to the couch. Gabriel picks up the glass as he spreads himself in the middle of all the cushions there. Dean doesn’t know where to go, to be honest. He doesn’t feel like standing and stare down at Gabriel though, so he walks closer and kneels in front of the couch. At least they’ll be more or less face to face like this, without Dean having to sit next to the angel and feel uncomfortable.

Gabriel looks at him curiously, but he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Okay, talk.” He says.

Dean clears his throat and he looks up to the angel.

“I uh… Need to apologize for the other night.” But he can’t stare for long and he has to look down at his hands. “I… Overreacted. With the alcohol and all, you know, I hadn’t had a drink in a while and uh… I know it’s no excuse though, I just… I feel really bad about that and… I didn’t mean the things I said, okay?” He can’t help but fidget with his hands, he doesn’t know where to look. He doesn’t want to see Gabriel’s reaction. “I was just… I guess, frustrated? But I know I was out of place… It’s just that the relationship we have, it’s new for me and I, uh… I assumed things about us- I mean, about you, ‘cause I know I’m just here to do whatever you ask so there’s no ‘us’ in all of this, I know that but I don’t know why I thought we- I mean you… I don’t know.” He feels a blush coming to his face. He knows he’s rambling, he can’t help it. “I uh… What I’m trying to say here is: I’m sorry.” He looks up again. He has to look at the angel when he says this. It’s only polite. “And I hope you’ll forgive me and we can start again because I… uh… I miss you. I mean, I miss…” He waves around. “This. Everything. So. Yeah. Sorry.”

Slowly, like he’s trying to prevent himself but can’t, Gabriel smiles, almost shyly. Dean doesn’t know how to react to that.

“That’s, uh… Thanks, Dean. But… You don’t need to apologize, I overreacted too, actually, I think…” He runs a hand through his hair. “I think we should stop drinking scotch?” He half laughs, and Dean feels a relieved smile appear on his face. “I felt too awkward to come talk to you or call you, and I’m sorry if it made you think I was done with you. Really.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that so he just waits. Gabriel takes a sip of wine before he opens his mouth again.

“I missed you too, I think…” He’s twisting his mouth, playing with his lower lip, looking like he doesn’t really know if he should have said that or not. “I mean, it’s been two weeks.”

“I know!” Dean says, more forcefully than he intended too.

Gabriel grins at him.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t…” He trails off.

Dean has to look away because he’s blushing again.

“Heavens! Dean, why would you not? Must have been real hard on you!”

Yeah, _hard_ , that’s the word, Dean thinks.

“I just… uh… Couldn’t.”

Gabriel just raises an eyebrow at him. Obviously he’s going to make him say it.

“You... didn’t say I could, so…” He tries to lower his voice as best as he can but his words still ring louder than he’d like and he feels like his face is on fire.

Gabriel just laughs at him.

“Oh… Dean… I’m... I’m sorry!” He has to put his glass down because he’s laughing too hard. The bastard.

Dean glares at him until the angel stops. He’s still grinning wide though.

“Actually, no I’m not sorry. But I’m impressed. And I’m very proud of you.” Okay, that felt nice. Dean tries not to show how happy he is to hear this. “Come here.” Gabriel adds, patting the space next to him.

Dean climbs on the couch, albeit a bit awkwardly, and he tries to settle against the angel. It’s difficult because Gabriel is half lying, half sitting, so he has to take the same position, pressed hard against the angel’s back, his head on Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel’s arm come to rest on his back and really, it makes him feel silly.

“Want some wine?” Gabriel asks.

He eyes the glass but shake his head.

“Uh, no thanks. I think I’ll stop drinking for a while…”

Gabriel chuckles and take another sip, finishing his glass, then puts it down again. Dean can’t help but try to shift his position, trying to get rid of the awkwardness he’s feeling.

“Dean.”

“Hm?”

“What is it?”

He stops moving. “Uh… I don’t know. I Uh… This is weird.”

Gabriel sighs. “Don’t tell me it’s because we’re hugging and you feel like a girl because I thought we were over this.”

One of his arm is pinned to his side and he doesn’t know what to do with the other. Finally, he lets it rest on the angel’s chest. There. Still awkward.

“No. It’s not that.”

Something’s not right, he thinks. Something’s missing. Or… Not actually.

“Then what is it?”

Dean blushes because yeah, he realizes what’s wrong.

“I uh… I got my clothes on. It’s just…I’m not used to it. In here I mean.”

He looks up and see Gabriel’s mouth twist again, this time because he’s trying not to laugh. Dean had missed this, the playfulness, the spark of happiness in his eyes.

“Do you want to take them off?”

“No! I mean… No, it would be even weirder. I don’t know. No. I’m good.”

“Okay.”

There’s a moment of silence, and finally Dean relaxes. Gabriel’s body is warm against him, and after a while he feels comfortable enough to start playing with the buttons of his shirt. This is nice. And being able to rest in the angel’s arms without having to go through half a dozen orgasms before it is a nice change. That’s his favorite part, the cuddling. If Sammy knew that he would totally laugh at his face. Provided he didn’t get mad about the pleasure slave thing first, obviously.

Gabriel starts playing with his hair and Dean lets out a contented sigh.

“I don’t even know why we fought…” Gabriel says suddenly.

Dean tenses a little.

“We fought because I’m a dumbass, that’s why.”

“No, it wasn’t just you Dean I just… I kind of shut you out and you didn’t know why so I should have expected your reaction actually.”

Gabriel thinks it’s his fault and Dean can’t bear it. He knows it’s him. He never thought Gabriel would beat himself up for this. He doesn’t want him to.

“Well, maybe I had a right to feel a little bit upset about it but it didn’t mean I had to say the things I said. I’m sorry.”

“You said that already. And now I realize I haven’t so, I’m sorry too, Dean. I feel like I need to explain myself, though. Or I’ll still feel bad about it.”

Dean raises his head again and looks at the angel. Okay, now he’s curious. Because, yeah, he asked himself again and again why Gabriel had been so cold all of a sudden. He figured it was because he hadn’t given that much of himself in a long while and felt uncomfortable about it, which Dean can understand. Gabriel looks down at him.

“I’m not used to… You know. What we did that night.”

And Dean can’t believe it but Gabriel is actually blushing slightly. Dean feels a smug smile coming to his face. He can’t help it.

“You can shove your entire hand up someone’s ass without batting an eyelash but you can’t talk about having regular sex?”

Gabriel gently slaps the back of his head.

“Shut up, I’m trying to explain, okay?”

Dean laughs. “Okay, okay. Sorry. I’m listening.”

“So… I’m not used to it, and it was amazing and… a bit overwhelming and if I hadn’t shut you off like I did I know you would have kissed me and that’s just-“

“What? No! I wouldn’t- I mean, I- No, I’d never-“

“Dean I’m not stupid and I’ve been on earth long enough to know how to read humans, you know. You were going to do it. And I just… I can’t, Dean, okay? It’s not proper.”

Okay, he would have. He totally wanted to. And now he’s a bit disappointed that Gabriel is still adamant about this.

“Not proper?”

“I’m your Master, Dean. Not your boyfriend. I don’t… You don’t kiss your slaves, okay? You just don’t.”

Dean stares at him and maybe it’s just wishful thinking but he thinks he sees a bit of hesitation? Regrets?

“So you can’t kiss me.”

Gabriel shakes his head ‘no’.

“Nope.”

“‘Cause it’s protocol or something?”

“Or something, yeah.”

He pushes himself up a bit so that their faces are leveled.

“Do you want to?”

“Dean.”

“I won’t do anything, I promise. Just asking.”

Gabriel stares back and he quickly licks his lips. Dean smiles. So yeah, that’s what he thought… He feels really happy about himself all of a sudden.

“So, if you could, would you want to? Say, you would have met me when I was a free man. You’d have kissed me then?”

Gabriel huffs and Dean sees he wants to pretend he’s annoyed but he’s half lying on top of him now and he can feel the angel’s heart is starting to beat faster.

“I wouldn’t have, no. Because I wouldn’t have known you.” Is all he says.

 “Okay then, what about now? If you could? Would you?”

Gabriel looks so conflicted. Dean is having so much fun.

“It’s just a question.” He adds, playful.

Gabriel bits on his lower lip and closes his eyes.

“Yes.” He half whispers.

And Dean feels like he just won the lottery, he doesn’t even know why he’s so happy about that because it’s not like they can actually kiss or anything. Gabriel opens his eyes again, and he looks kind of defeated.

Dean takes a secretive tone.

“You know nobody will know if we try.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes but he doesn’t try to push Dean away, which is a victory in itself.

“Don’t give me that look, you’re the one who started talking about kissing in the first place!”

“Is that how you speak to your Master, Dean?”

He tries to look authoritative but his tone is light and he still looks so conflicted it ruins the effect.

“Sorry Master.” Dean says automatically.

He smiles as he does, and he pushes himself up again until Gabriel has to move too so that he’s lying on his back and Dean is lying on top of him. He bends his head a little until their noses are almost touching.

“Dean. No.”

“Not doing anything.”

He knows Gabriel has the strength to push him away. He could even throw Dean across the room by lifting only his little finger if he wanted to. So, really, Dean feels like he can try something. Like he won’t be punished for it. He raises his head a little bit until he can look Gabriel in the eyes without his eyes crossing.

“Can I kiss you? Please? Just once and I’ll leave you alone.”

Gabriel’s hands are on Dean’s back but he’s not moving them. He’s just holding onto Dean a bit more tightly than he should, but Dean doesn’t mind.

“It’s okay because I’ll be the one kissing you so we’re not breaking any rule.” Dean goes on.

Gabriel doesn’t answer, he just stares at him like he can’t believe him. His heart is beating fast, and when he licks his lips again Dean knows he won.

He bends his head, slowly, until their foreheads touch and he stops for a second, just to give Gabriel the time to back off if he changes his mind. But he doesn’t. Dean feel his breath on his mouth. He smells like red wine and peppermint. It’s an odd combination but it’s not unpleasant. The angel’s heart is beating like crazy now, so Dean closes the distance between them and gently put his lips on Gabriel’s.

He waits a bit before he starts moving. Gabriel doesn’t kiss back right away but after a couple of seconds he does, and he holds onto to Dean tighter. Dean doesn’t use his tongue, he doesn’t want to scare the guy, and besides it’s already wonderful as it is, he doesn’t want to push his luck too far. He’s content to just be tasting the angel for now, slowly, nibbling at his lower lip until Gabriel lets out a heavy breath, like he’s trying to expel the nervousness out of himself. He kisses back more passionately after that, and they keep going until Dean feels like his lips are burning.

He chuckles and he pushes himself away a little. He’s a bit hard now, but he tries to ignore it.

“There. Not so bad, uh?”

Gabriel’s lips look beautifully red and swollen and Dean has to use all his will power not to kiss him again and again. The angel looks a bit lost, and maybe a bit confused, but at least he doesn’t seem disappointed, which Dean think is good.

“I… Yes.” Gabriel just says.

He licks his lips and looks up to Dean again. He really looks surprised. Almost like it’s the first kiss of his life. But it can’t be… The guy is a bazillion years old.

“Don’t tell me nobody asked you for a kiss before.”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him. He’s looking a bit more like himself again.

“How old do you think I am? Of course I’ve been asked before. Just… Not in a while.”

He turns his head to look at the fire.

“But… None of the slaves before me ever… uh, tried?”

The angel gives him a sideway look.

“No, Dean. Because they knew how to behave like proper slaves.” He deadpans. “They did what they were told, and they didn’t coerced me into throwing a Christmas party and we never fought, so I never had to go through make up cuddle sessions with them.”

Dean snorts. “I didn’t _coerce_ you into anything. And you’re the one who bought me, you knew who I was. I can’t help it if I don’t know anything about proper slave behavior. It’s the price you have to pay to get a piece of that sweet ass.”

Gabriel finally smiles again.

“You’re rude, you know that?”

“You like it.”

“Yeah, I do. A bit. Don’t let it get to your head, though.”

“Nah, don’t worry.”

They stare into each other’s eyes for a little while, until it feels a bit too intimate for comfort. Dean pushes himself down a little then, and he lets his head rest on Gabriel’s chest. He feels so happy he’s not sure he’s actually awake. Granted, it wouldn’t be the best of dreams, because he’s still a slave, he tries really hard not to forget that, and he’s still far from his brother, but he knows he has it easy compared to other humans. Gabriel is a good Master, he feeds them well, takes care of them, he doesn’t beat on them and he actually cares about a lot of little things no other would even think about.

So yeah, Dean is happy. Sue him. He thinks he deserves it. He wants to keep things going as long as he can. He’ll do whatever he needs to.

~*~

A few days later Gabriel calls him. So that evening he tries to have a healthy and substantial meal, he drinks a lot of water and when it’s time he saunters up the stairs because he can’t wait. It’s been more than three weeks now, and all he got was a kiss, so he’s really glad he’s getting a bit of action tonight.

When he gets in the room nobody’s here, so he takes off his clothes, folds them carefully and puts them in the box next to the door. He goes into the bathroom, washes himself and when he’s done he goes to kneel at the foot of the bed, facing the door. Usually, Gabriel doesn’t make him wait for too long. Maybe five, ten minutes top. He doesn’t even know actually because there’s no clock in the room but that’s what it feels like. But today it seems really long. It’s longer than usual, that’s for sure. He’s so excited he feels like he’s going to explode if the angel doesn’t show up soon.

“Come on…” He mutters, staring at the door, focusing on Gabriel as if it could make him come faster.

His knees are starting to hurt. He’s pretty sure Gabriel is making him wait on purpose, the bastard. Dean hopes he’s suffering as much as he is right now.

“Come on, come on, come on…”

But nobody comes for what seems like hours, and Dean almost gives up. He’s weighting the pros and cons of getting up, putting on his pants and go get the angel when the door finally opens. He barely suppresses a sigh. Finally!

Gabriel just smirks at him as he closes the door and he walks closer slowly, hands behind his back.

“Getting a bit impatient, are we?” He asks, playfully.

Dean raises his eyebrows, hoping the angel will understand that, yeah, of course! It’s been fucking hours already, what the fuck was he doing?

“It’s only been half an hour Dean, don’t give me that look.”

Oh, okay. Well, it’s been more than three weeks since the last they did anything together. That’s a long time. He thinks he’s allowed to be a bit on edge about this. He looks up to the angel, and he takes a breath to calm down a little. His dick is already hard and leaking, just at the sight of the angel’s black clothing. He came to associate them with sex now, since that’s what Gabriel is always wearing when they’re sharing bodily fluids. It’s not Dean’s fault though. Black suits the angel.

“Do you know what day it is today?” Gabriel asks.

Dean is startled by the question. What does it have to do with anything?

“Uh… Wednesday, Master?”

Gabriel laughs a little and shakes his head.

“I mean the date, Dean.”

He thinks about it, but truth is his dick hurts and his mind is elsewhere.

“No Master.”

“The 24th? Of January? Rings any bell?”

Oh. Right. It’s his birthday already, uh? He didn’t even think about it. They stopped celebrating birthdays a while back with Sammy. They had other more important things to think about.

Gabriel smiles like he can’t believe Dean. “You remember how old you are at least, right?”

Dean blushes. It’s not his fault if he had other things on his mind. Birthdays aren’t that important anyway. He nods.

“So I was thinking, 30, it’s an important number. I thought about it all day and I told myself, what could I possibly do to celebrate, you know?”

Interesting. Dean straightens up a little bit more. Birthday sex, yes, please.

“But I didn’t find anything really special I hadn’t tried already, so I’m going to do something I’ve never done with anybody else. I hope you’ll appreciate the gesture at least.”

Dean is dying to know what it is. This is good. This is so good. He tries not to move too much, but he feels like he’s going to burst out of his skin.

“I’m just going to let you choose. Whatever you want to do, just ask, and I’ll see what I can do. It’s your day today.”

Dean blinks.

“Anything?”

Gabriel nods. “I’ll consider anything. And I’ll tell you if I think it’s too much for me. Shoot!”

He’s disappointed for a second because he thought Gabriel would find something really, really dirty to mark the occasion and really, he didn’t have to take any decision in so long he doesn’t know what to ask for. He thinks about it for a while, trying to see what he liked doing the best with the angel. He feels a bit stupid when the only thing that comes to his mind is the kiss. Definitely his best idea so far. But maybe…

“I’m not sure you’ll like it.” He finally says.

Gabriel is still smiling, looking confident. “Try me.”

Dean clears his throat.

“Uhm. Could we… Maybe, go vanilla for a round or two?”

He misses the regular kind of sex. He’s thought about it a few times. He’d really love to fuck Gabriel senseless into the mattress, even though he’s not going to ask for that today. But maybe if they can at least do the thing with both of them naked, without any kind of ropes or cuffs or toys involved, then the angel will consider it? Dean has to make it real good, he knows. He’s going to try at least.  

“Define ‘vanilla’.” Gabriel just says.

But he looks less confident all of a sudden.

“Uh, okay. Well, first there would be some kissing involved.”

The angel doesn’t make a face, so that’s a good sign.

“Okay.” He says.

“I wouldn’t call you ‘Master’ obviously…”

Gabriel nods. Dean smiles. Okay, good, at least he’ll have that.

“And uh… No toys, no bindings. Just… You and me.”

He sees Gabriel grit his teeth at that, but he nods anyway. “Fine.”

“And maybe… We could take your clothes off at some point. That would be nice.”

The angel takes a breath. “I don’t know, Dean.”

“Why? Do you have something to hide?”

“No. Is it necessary?”

Dean shrugs. “I want to touch you, I want to taste you. Not just… I you’re not okay with me putting my mouth anywhere near your nether region then fine, I just… Want to touch a bit of skin. That’s all. And it makes things easier if I can at least take off your pants, you know.”

Gabriel sighs and crosses his arms against his chest. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and then let his arms fall at his side again. He looks really uncomfortable.

“Okay, fine. Fine. It’s your birthday. What the hell, right?”

“Awesome!”

Dean is really happy about everything suddenly. He’s been wanting that for a long while but he never dared ask.

“I don’t know what else to add so… If I think about something else I’ll say it. Does that work?”

Gabriel nods. He claps his hands behind his back.

“Right. Right.”

Dean tries not to laugh at how embarrassed the angel looks. He stands up. And takes a step closer to Gabriel. He just looks at him for a moment, a small smile on his face. Gabriel looks like he’s about to shit himself.

“How do we do this then?” He asks, avoiding Dean’s eyes.

“You trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Then let me take the wheel for this round. Okay?”

Gabriel lets out a sigh and he gives Dean a sideway look.

“Okay.”

Dean feels his heart miss a beat because this is so good and yet it feels so surreal he doesn’t know what to do. He decides to start with the basics and he leans forward, planting a small kiss on Gabriel’s neck. He thinks he felt the angel shaking slightly.

“Are you nervous?” He asks.

“No.”

“Yeah, right.”

He carefully puts his hands on Gabriel’s hips, letting his finger graze the skin here. Gabriel huffs.

“Relax.”

“I am relaxed.”

Dean snorts.

“Sure. I haven’t done anything yet, I’m just taking your shirt off.”

Gabriel looks away. “I don’t like being naked in front of people, okay?”

“Well I didn’t either. You’ll get used to it.”

“I highly doubt i-“

Dean kisses him to shut him up. And also just because he can. Gabriel lets out a surprised noise but Dean feels his shoulder relax. He reaches behind the angel and pulls his hands away from each other, until Gabriel complies and he lets them rest on the small of Dean’s back. Dean keeps slowly moving his lips against Gabriel’s, until he feels he’s pliant enough and he carefully lifts his shirt up. He pulls away, takes it off and throws it on the floor, then promptly goes back to kissing Gabriel again before the angel decides he can’t go through with it. He’ll take a look after everything is off, he decides.

“It’s weird…” Gabriel whispers against his mouth. “And cold.”

Dean doesn’t answer and pushes him on the bed. He crawls onto it, following Gabriel who’s pulling himself up until his head reaches the pillows. Dean gives him another kiss and starts his way down, on the side of his neck, on his collarbone, on the top of his chest, until he reaches a nipple. He gives it a quick lick and Gabriel gasps, so he stops. He kisses his way around it and comes back to the little bump of flesh and let his teeth brush the sensitive skin there.

“Dean…” Gabriel breathes.

It doesn’t sound like a ‘no’, so Dean slowly closes his teeth on the angel’s nipple until he hears Gabriel hiss in pain. He lets go then, giving it one last soothing kiss and he keeps going down. His hands start working the buttons of Gabriel’s pants, and he feels Gabriel tense again. He pushes himself away, pulling the pants down with him as he does, and he’s surprised to see that Gabriel isn’t wearing anything else underneath.

He raises an eyebrow at the angel. Gabriel’s cheeks are getting a bit red.

“Underwear are restraining.” He just says.

Dean wants to shake it off with a smart comment to help him feel better but he has to sit back on his heels for a minute, pants in his hands, mouth half open because damn! Gabriel is hot. Not the typical, all muscle-y kind of hot, but still… He’s not too muscled, he even has little love handles on the side of his hips, but in the dim light of the room his skin looks almost golden, and it makes Dean want to touch him all over. There’s so much skin all of a sudden that Dean doesn’t know what to do anymore.

“What?”

Dean blinks a few time before he smiles wolfishly and covers the angel’s body with his own.

“Nothin’. Just admiring the view.”

He bends down and kisses him again, still amazed at the fact that tonight, he can. Gabriel’s lips are soft and small compared to his but it feels like they both fit perfectly, like they were meant for this. He pushes his tongue inside the angel’s mouth slowly until he feels Gabriel’s tongue reacting to his own, chasing it, caressing it gently. He aligns their hips and stars grinding against Gabriel and the angel gasps in his mouth. There’s just enough pre-come there to make their cocks slide against each other nicely. It’s amazing. He’s never done this before, and he wonders why.

Gabriel’s hands start to move on his body impatiently now, lower and lower until Dean feels a lubed finger push at his hole. Dean has to push his butt up a bit if he wants Gabriel’s finger to go all the way in, and he starts moving at the rhythm Gabriel is setting while he keeps rubbing their dicks together.

He tears his mouth away from Gabriel for a minute, trying to catch his breath.

“I want you to come like this, Dean.” Gabriel whispers.

And, yeah, Dean was only feeling a pleasant buzz building up slowly in his belly so far but the words sends his nerves on fire.

“Yes.” He says. “Please.” Because that’s what he’s used to.

Gabriel pushes another finger in and starts opening him. It’s good, even if it’s less intense than what they’re used to. But it’s fine with Dean. It’s better, in a way. That way he can see Gabriel, really see him, and since the angel is getting his pleasure too it feels stronger somehow.

He definitely doesn’t want to come on his own. He slides his hand between the both of them and takes both of their cocks in hand. It makes Gabriel stop moving for a second, and he closes his eyes like everything is a bit too much. When Dean starts stroking his mouth falls open and he looks up at Dean again. He’s panting hard and Dean is so engrossed in what he sees he almost forgets his own pleasure for a second, until he feels his orgasm draw near and he loses his rhythm. Gabriel stopped moving his hand and now Dean is just pushing on his fingers, stroking them both at the same time, and he has to work really hard not to come right away because everything just feels magical and surreal and he doesn’t know how to feel anymore. He wants to see Gabriel come, that’s the only thing he knows.

“Come on…” He whispers in the angel’s ear, bending down a little. “I want you to come too. I’m waiting for you.”

It draws a moan out of Gabriel and Dean has to hide his face in the angel’s neck because he can’t hold himself up anymore. He’s not thinking anymore. He just wants.

“Gabriel.” He breathes.

Gabriel let’s out another half-moan and he tenses. Dean feels his dick pulses in his hand, and he lets go too. He’s pretty sure he made a noise he’s going to be ashamed of later but right now he doesn’t care, he keeps stroking them both as he feels the familiar waves of pleasure invading his body, his ass clenching around Gabriel’s fingers. He feels Gabriel’s stomach spasm against his hand and he feels it, he feels Gabriel’s pleasure as if it was his own, running through his body and leaving goose bumps in its wake.

When it’s over, he let’s go of their shafts, and he lets out a huge breath. God, that was… He has no word for it. He feels Gabriel’s fingers slip out of him and he lets his weight rest on the angel. One of Gabriel hand is stroking his back and he closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling. His whole body is buzzing with contentment. He doesn’t think he can move right now.

Did he… Did he just call Gabriel by his name? He feels a blush coming to his face. Shit. Shit!

“I uh…” He starts. “I didn’t mean to- I… Sorry!”

He pushes himself away and looks at the angel, wide eyed. Gabriel has his eyes closed. He groans and opens them, looking at Dean with an eyebrow raised.

“What are you mumbling about?”

“I didn’t notice, I’m sorry I… I called you…”

“What?”

“Gabriel.”

“Yes, that’s my name.”

Dean blinks.

“You’re not mad?”

Gabriel huffs a laugh. He still looks a bit out of it.

“Well, no. We said no ‘Master’, what else do you want to call me?”

Dean shrugs. Gabriel looks very happy, so he doesn’t think he’s going to be punished for what he’s about to say. He hopes so at least.

“I don’t know. Short Stuff?”

Gabriel stops moving his hand, startled, and he burst out laughing.

“Please, don’t call me that.”

He keeps laughing and Dean feels a smile tugging at his lips. Gabriel’s laugh is contagious.

“Why not, you’re short.”

He can feel laughter bubbling up his throat.

“I’m not short. You’re the tall one.”

“Sure.”

“Shut up. I’m trying to enjoy the afterglow here.”

They keep laughing as they talk and Dean feel his heart beat in rhythm with Gabriel’s and it occurs to him that he’s never felt so alive in his life. It’s strange, but it’s wonderful at the same time.

“Sorry.” He breathes after a while.

He looks down on Gabriel’s mouth, all red and swollen, then up into the angel’s eyes again. He sees bits of gold twirling in there, it’s fascinating. The laughter dies away and he bends down again, planting a small kiss on Gabriel’s cheek, then the corner of his mouth.

Gabriel sighs and pulls him toward himself so that they can kiss properly. Dean chuckles in his mouth.

“Do you mind?” He says, playful. “I’m trying to enjoy my present here.”

“Go ahead.” Gabriel answers, letting his arms rest on both sides of his head, spreading his body on the red sheets.

“Not so shy anymore, uh?”

Gabriel smiles.

“Nah. It’s okay if it’s you.” Dean blushes slightly at that. It makes his heart flutter. “I’ve seen you literally from every angle, in every position possible, I think it’s only fair that I let you see me sometimes.”

Dean hides his embarrassment by kissing the angel’s neck again, going down until he reaches his nipples.

“Only sometimes?” He asks, looking up from under his eyelashes.

“I’m… There’s a reason I keep my distance, Dean. Clothes help. It’s a rule I set for myself.”

“Really? Why?” He keeps planting small kisses around the little bump of flesh.

Gabriel sighs. Dean’s not sure if it’s because he’s annoyed or because of what Dean is doing with his tongue.

“I don’t want to beco-“ He hisses when Dean starts sucking on his nipple. “I don’t want to become too familiar with my slaves. If I keep my clothes on they act like a sort of barrier between you and me so we don’t get too close. Sex is one thing, intimacy is another, you know? I like to… Keep things separate.” 

Dean snorts. “How’s that working for you so far?”

Gabriel just raises an eyebrow at him and doesn’t answer, so Dean bites at the flesh on the side of the angel’s chest. Not too hard, just enough to sting.

“Ow! Dean!”

“Come on, now, I’m barely touching you.” He says, echoing the words he heard the angel say to him countless times.

Gabriel scoffs. “You’re terribly cocky tonight. I need to fuck that smile off your face.”

“Maybe later. I’m busy right now.”

As Dean reaches Gabriel’s belly, he starts to feel the salty taste of come on his tongue. Oh yeah. He almost forgot. The angel is covered in it. He feels his own stomach is a bit sticky too. He keeps licking his way down anyway. It’s not like he hasn’t tasted himself already. Gabriel made sure he had a bit of his own taste. He looks down and see that Gabriel is already back to full hardness. He feels his mouth go dry, but this time it’s not because of the stress. He pushes himself a little bit down the bed until he’s facing Gabriel’s dick.

“Well, happy birthday to me!” He exclaims before bending down.

Gabriel starts to laugh but he gasps and stops when Dean’s tongue touch his skin and when Dean takes a peek he sees he closed his eyes and he’s holding on to the pillow under his head as if his life depended on it.

He takes that as a good sign and he wraps his lips around Gabriel’s length.

“Dean!”

His smile widens and he starts sucking.

“Hm?” He hums against Gabriel’s flesh.

“Shit, Dean, I- Heavens!”

He’s never given any blowjob to a guy before but he knows what’s good and what’s not so he just does what he thinks will be well received. And it seems to work, judging by the noises Gabriel is making. He never thought oral could be that fun. Sure, he enjoyed going down on girls before but this is different. He kinda knows Gabriel by now, he knows the little things that makes him happy, he knows his favorite kind of food, his favorite books, his favorite clothes, all those trivial little things that make a person special and not just some random stranger he’s fucking because he’s half drunk and he felt like it. Now he’s learning all the little things that make Gabriel tick, and it adds another layer. There’s no word to express how happy that makes him feel.

He kind of feels like making Gabriel wait a bit, like he did so many times with Dean. Dean has the upper hand right now, it would be a shame to not take advantage of it. He’s not sure he’s going to hold on for long himself because, again, it’s been three weeks, and he really wants to feel the angel inside him again because he doesn’t know if he’ll get the opportunity after that. He doesn’t know if Gabriel will just stick with plastic dicks instead of his own, because Dean is still a bit confused about what the angel enjoys or not.

So he pulls away and starts kissing Gabriel’s inner thigh instead. He looks up as he does, and he sees Gabriel open one eye and pout at him.

“Who said you could stop?”

Dean smiles smugly. “I did.”

He keeps kissing Gabriel, going all the way around his dick without actually touching it until he feels Gabriel wriggle impatiently under him. He sucks at the skin under his mouth until he tastes blood and he pulls away, looking proudly at his work. Gabriel is staring at him and Dean finds himself staring back. He sees many things in the angel’s eyes, he’s not really sure what it means but it makes his heart beat faster and he has to push himself up to kiss him again because suddenly he needs to. He needs to get close to him and cover him in kisses and make him understand that Gabriel is all he has right now and he doesn’t want this to end, ever.

Gabriel is oddly silent compared to the other times and Dean thinks maybe he’s feeling the same thing. He can only hope he does. When he feels he needs a bit of air he pulls away, only slightly, letting their forehead rest against each other and he keeps his eyes closed.

He clears his throat.

“I… You know I kinda… Like you.” He whispers.

He doesn’t know why he feels the urge to say this right now.

“I don’t expect an answer or anything I just… Just felt like saying it.”

He almost adds a ‘sorry’ there, but he doesn’t. He feels Gabriel’s hand in his hair, stroking it gently.

“I like you too, Dean.” He says.

And Dean’s heart feels like it’s going to explode with joy.

“I hope you’ll never get tired of me.” Dean half-laughs. Because the guy’s an angel, he’s basically immortal and Dean’s not the only decent looking guy on the planet.

“Dean, look at me.”

Dean raises his head and opens his eyes. Gabriel is frowning. He takes Dean’s face in his both his hands and stares into Dean’s eyes.

“I won’t, okay? If there’s anyone who should be worried it’s me. You’re content with what we do for now but nothing tells me you’re not going to get fed up with everything and try escaping again. And knowing you, I’m often scared you might succeed if you ever try.”

He looks pained and Dean can’t help it, he knows Gabriel is probably right because the angel is one of the pros of being enslaved but there’s a lot of cons to it too and yeah, Dean is a hunter and a free man and this life is so far away from everything he stands for it’s a miracle he hasn’t tried anything to get out of here yet.

But he can’t stand the look in the angel’s eyes.

“I’ll never leave you.”

And he’s not lying. He really thinks he couldn’t. It would take something really special to take him away from Gabriel. This is totally not a love thing, though. He just likes the guy. A little bit more than he ever liked anybody, besides his brother. And it’s different too. He doesn’t think it’s love though it’s just… Something else. Totally not falling in love with an archangel here. Nope. Not a chance.

“Never say never, Dean-o.”

He’s trying to shake it off with a laugh and attitude but Dean wants him to believe him. He needs him to believe him.

“I won’t. I… Just won’t. I swear, Gabriel.”

Gabriel starts stroking the bottom of his face with his thumbs. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares some more.

“You don’t believe me?” Dean asks, a bit more desperately than he intended.

“I believe you believe what you just said. But that doesn’t mean you’ll believe it forever. People always leave. One way or another they always do. They escape, they get killed. Or they just get bored of everything. It happens.”

“Well I’m not like that.”

Gabriel sighs. He pulls Dean close, kisses him lightly and pushes him away again.

“Okay.”

“Okay? What does that even mean?”

Gabriel smiles gently at him. “Means I believe you, for now. Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t. Winchesters always keep their promises.” He smirks.

Gabriel huffs a laugh. “Right. Now do something before I decide to tie you up and fuck you until you forget your name, _Winchester_.”

“Yes Master!” He says enthusiastically, a goofy smile spreading on his face.

He bends down to kiss Gabriel again and he reaches behind him. He takes Gabriel’s dick in hand, aligns himself with it and slowly pushes it all the way in. He can’t help but let out a small breath of contentment because it’s so good and so hot, he almost forgot what it felt like. He straightens up and puts his hand on Gabriel’s chest, ready to ride the angel until he begs for mercy.

“First one to come loses.” He says.

Gabriel eyes widen like he thinks Dean is a little bit crazy but he soon smiles back at Dean as he grips his hips tightly. He raises an eyebrow at him.

“Do your best.” He just replies.

He’s already a bit out of breath so Dean thinks he has the advantage here but he forgot how well inform Gabriel is about human anatomy. He starts to move, slowly at first, until Gabriel starts following his rhythm and moves his hips up in sync with Dean. At first it’s just good, bearable, and Dean feels the little sparks of pleasure bursting in his body. Nothing he can’t handle, he thinks. But Gabriel starts grinning and suddenly he changes his angle and hits Dean’s prostate. He manages to do it again, and again, and again until Dean realizes that yes, he’s doing it on purpose. He tries to hold back the moans that want to come out of his throat but it just draws his climax closer and he finally opens his mouth, throwing his head back because if he keeps looking at Gabriel he knows he’ll lose. That was a stupid idea.

“You really thought you c-could… beat me at that little game, D-Dean?” Gabriel asks smugly as he keeps hitting Dean’ sweet spot harder every time.

Dean is openly moaning and he doesn’t even try to answer.

“I said it’s been… A while but I never s-said I haven’t… done this before.” The angel goes on.

It’s like someone lit a bunch of fireworks inside of Dean. It’s so hot, and so good he barely remembers where he is anymore, he just knows Gabriel is fucking him and it’s amazing and warm and he doesn’t want it to stop.

“Ah! Fuck!” Dean yelps.

He can’t say anything else. He can’t find his words anymore. The orgasm is right here and it’s expanding with each thrust of Gabriel’s hips and he tries to hold it back but he can’t. God help him, he really can’t this time.

“Don’t come, Dean. I haven’t punished you in a-a while. You know I’d love to… I’d love to do it again.”

Ah, yes, he knows. He knows but he can’t help it. He doesn’t even need to touch his dick, he knows he can come like this, he’s trying to hold it but the pleasure is everywhere. It’s like someone broke a dam inside and now it’s flowing all over and Dean can’t hold that much on his own.

And suddenly he feels a hand on his dick and he’s gone.

“Shit, Gabriel, Shit, shit-“

He has to take a deep breath and hold it in. His orgasm hits him so hard he can’t see anything for a second, and he closes his eyes, lost in the wave of pleasure that runs through his body. He says ‘wave’ but it’s more like a tsunami, really. It feels like it’s never going to stop. After a few seconds it’s finally getting lighter, more bearable again, even if he still feels his ass clench around Gabriel’s length and he keeps moving as best as he can because he doesn’t want to be the only one who can’t hold it. He doesn’t have to worry about that for long because he feels Gabriel come as well. The angel stops moving and he feels his dick pulsing inside of him and it sends another fresh wave of blissful pleasure up Dean’s spine.

When he opens his eyes again he feels dizzy for a second and he has to hold on to Gabriel’s chest in order not to fall.

“You okay, Dean?” The angel asks, panting.

Dean nods. He can’t move or he feels like his whole body is going to break apart. He bends down slowly and let himself fall on the side. Gabriel rolls onto his belly and looks at him, holding his hand up in the air. There’s a dice sitting on his palm.

“What’s that for?” Dean asks weakly.

Gabriel wriggles his eyebrows

“You disobeyed.” He just says, matter-of-factly.

And he throws the dice on the bed. It doesn’t roll much and it lands on six.

“That’s the number of orgasms I need to give you.” He says, picking the dice and throwing it again.

It lands on two.

“And that’s the number of hours I have to do it.”

Dean groans.

“Come on Big Boy, roll over.” Gabriel says.

Two hours for six orgasms? Gabriel is good, but not _that_ good. It’s gonna be a long night.

~*~

“Come on, Dean…” Gabriel whispers in his ear. “We have ten minutes left. It’s the last one. You can do it for me, can’t you?”

Dean is lying on his belly, pinned to the mattress by Gabriel’s body. The angel his holding one of his arm behind his back, and Dean is clutching the sheets next to his head with his other hand. Gabriel is slowly pushing in, then carefully out of him. In, and then out, keeping the same impossibly slow rhythm. Dean is sweating like crazy. He feels sticky all over, he’s not sure it’s all him though. Gabriel has been working him very thoroughly too.

He kept his word. He gave Dean five earth-shattering orgasms, and they’re getting close to the sixth one. All this under two hours. Gabriel hasn’t come yet. Dean thinks he’s waiting for the last one.

He just groans in response because he can’t talk anymore. His butt hurts a little, but he’s so glad to be feeling real flesh inside of him he doesn’t want to say anything. Gabriel pulls on his arm and it sends little jolts of pain along his shoulder. He lets out a moan as Gabriel’s length fills him again and hits his sweet spot.

He feels the orgasm is there, it just doesn’t want to just burst already. He tries, he tries really hard to draw it nearer but he can’t. He hides his face in the mattress as he feels a tear roll down his cheek.

“You made it until now, Dean. I know it’s hard but you can give me this, just one last time, okay? I’m so proud of you Dean. Come on, you can do it.”

No he can’t, he can’t. The words float in his mind, he hears them, but they don’t mean anything anymore. He can’t he’s just too far gone and he can’t focus anymore. Gabriel pulls on his arm again and it brings him back.

“Dean!”

“I can’t…” He groans.

He just can’t, it’s stuck, the orgasm just won’t come and he can’t do it anymore. It’s good, yes, but it’s too much.

He feels Gabriel’s free hand run through his sweaty hair gently.

“Of course you can. I know you can, Dean.”

He lets go of Dean’s hair and Dean feels his hand slide down his body until it pushes just under his hips to get to his dick. No, he doesn’t want Gabriel to touch him again, he just can’t take it anymore, he can’t he can’t he can’t he-

“No!” He tries.

It comes out so weak he’s not even sure he heard himself. Gabriel’s hand is on Dean’s dick, stroking slowly up and down. It hurts, but it’s so good at the same time Dean can’t help but lift his hips up a little to give the angel better access.

But suddenly the angel slows down the pace of his hand, until he’s only moving his fingers lightly on Dean’s skin and he stops moving his hips.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks.

Dean has trouble understanding at first. He frowns. He’s not sure Gabriel can see his face but he really can’t speak.

“Dean, do you…” He sounds a bit hesitant. “Do you want to stop? If you’re not okay we can stop. You just have to say it.”

And Dean finally understands he’s serious, he’s seriously asking him if it’s too much. Dean is surprised, really. He takes a breath and forces his mouth open before Gabriel stops touching him completely.

“No!” He manages. And it comes out angrier than he would have liked. “No, I’m okay…” He adds, more gently.

Gabriel keeps the same slow rhythm.

“Are you sure?”

Come on, it’s a bit late to have doubts. Dean is a bit mad right now. Granted, five seconds ago he thought he couldn’t make it but that’s part of the game, isn’t it? He thinks he can’t and Gabriel pushes him until he comes and the next time they do it again except they take things a bit further, why would he ask now? It’s not like he cared before.

“Yes, yes, I’m okay. I’m good. I’m, uh…” Thinking is too hard right now, everything feels fuzzy. What’s the code again? “ I’m- I’m Green, okay? Green, please, just-”

He’s not making a lot of sense but he thinks Gabriel understands because he starts stroking Dean a little bit faster and he moves his hips again. He keeps going until Dean feels like the angel is back on track again. And it feels good.

He’s half sobbing now but finally, finally he feels the pleasure growing in the pit of his belly and he pulls at it as hard as he can. He’s holding on the sheets so tightly he can barely feel his fingers anymore.

“Please…” He begs.

Speaking is difficult. His mouth feels like it’s full of cotton.

“What do you want?”

Gabriel’s voice is as sure as it always is now, he’s back being the Master again.

“I…” Dean takes a breath. “Faster!” He exhales.

“Hm, I’m not sure I want to indulge you.”

He feels a long whine making its way out of his throat. It’s not enough, he needs _more_.

“You’re going to come like this. I won’t go any faster, and you’ll come anyway because I’m telling you to, do you understand?”

The pleasure is still building steadily but he wants it to hit its highest point already. He can’t take it anymore. But at the same time he knows he can. He has to stop thinking he can’t or else Gabriel is going to stop for good this time.

“Dean, answer me.”

He hits Dean’s sweet spot slowly and stays there, just rolling his hips lazily around. He keeps stroking Dean’s dick with his incredibly hot hand and Dean feels like his genitals are on fire. He can’t tell if it’s pleasant or not though.

“Yes!” Dean almost yells.

“Five minutes left. Come on, Dean. We’re almost there.”

Yeah well, he’s trying! He’s doing what he can and he feels the pleasure-pain building up inside but really, he’s never going to come again. He wants to though, he wants to feel it one last time and it’s so frustrating he feels angry at himself.

Gabriel moves again then and he feels his release coming. The hand on his dick keeps moving, squeezing harder and that was all he needed, really, and he starts rutting into it to get things going faster.

He’s letting out little whimpers of pain now as he feels he’s getting closer and closer to his climax.

Finally he stops moving and there it is.

When he comes it’s not strong, it doesn’t explode like it usually does, it’s just good and painful and it fills him with relief. The familiar wave of pleasure runs along his body, once, twice, and he feels Gabriel’s orgasm too, and oddly he enjoys it more than his own. It’s over, it’s finally over and he feels like his body is melting. He hadn’t noticed he was so tense until he came one last time and now all his muscles are slowly relaxing as he feels the last spark of pleasure going up his spine.

Gabriel lets go of his arm and his shaft and lets his weight slowly rest on Dean’s back and they stay like this for a while, listening to each other’s ragged breathing. The angel drops little kisses on his neck and it makes him shiver a little. It’s good, though. Everything is quiet and he just want to sleep. He’s already dozing off a bit. Gabriel just keeps kissing him, he moves up to his cheek, then the corner of his mouth.

But something tugs at Dean’s mind and he really need to say something about it.

“Why…” Dean starts. His throat is so dry he has to force his voice out. “Why did you ask if I wanted to stop?”

He needs to ask because that was kinda weird.

“I don’t know, it was pretty intense and you looked like you couldn’t go on. We haven’t talked about safewords since last time so I wanted to make sure you… uh, were okay with everything.”

Dean forces his eyes open and tries to look at Gabriel behind him.

“You never asked before.”

Gabriel shrugs and plants a small kiss on Dean’s back again.

“It was a lot, even for me so I wanted to make sure you were enjoying yourself… And… Uh, Today is about you, you know… I’ve been doing a bit of thinking lately and I realized that maybe I think about myself a little bit too much, and not enough about you.”

Dean blinks at that. That’s… Considerate.

“The first few times were tough but you warned me about it… I mean it’s better now so you don’t need to worry, I’m used to it.”

“But that’s the thing, Dean. I don’t want you to get used to it because I’m telling you to, you know? I never thought about it that way before but since you’re less obedient than most sometimes you say things that made me think and I…” He sighs. “I never considered the fact that maybe sometimes you and the others before you were only saying yes to certain things because I’m your Master and you felt like you had to. I don’t want that with you, you understand?”

Dean hesitates a bit before he opens his mouth again. He looks away from Gabriel’s face.

“Yeah but… Wouldn’t that go against what you like? I mean… I don’t want you to get tired of me because I tell you to stop every five minutes...”

There’s a beat of silence. Gabriel stops moving.

“Dean, are you telling me there were times when you felt like we had to stop but you didn’t say anything?”

Dean shrugs.

“It’s better now.”

“Did I hurt you?”

Dean keeps looking at a random spot on the sheets.

“Not really. It just… Sometimes it’s pretty intense and… I just need a bit of time you know. I like it but it’s not something I would have done on my own if I was still out there in the real world.”

“You’re the one who asked for a safeword. Why didn’t you use the code we talked about?”

Dean lets out an annoyed breath.

“Because you looked like you were enjoying yourself and you said… You could see it if it was too much for me. I just… I figured it wasn’t that much and I was just being sensitive or I don’t know… I didn’t want you to think I was delicate or something… I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t worth it.”

There’s another moment of uncomfortable silence and Dean feels Gabriel’s lips on his back.

“You’re worth it, Dean. No matter what, you hear me? Don’t let me do things you don’t like just for my sake I… I know I’m always talking about how I want to keep things fun and safe but truth is… I’m only thinking about my own fun most of the time, and you helped me realize I should probably pay more attention to yours I… I’m sorry Dean. I feel really bad about that. Please, promise me you’ll tell me next time you feel like it’s too much, okay?”

It’s a bit late to grow a conscience, Dean thinks. But he doesn’t want Gabriel to feel worse than he already does so he nods. He can’t be the only one who made Gabriel reconsider the way he treats his slaves though. He’s pretty sure there’s someone else involved.

“Did Castiel lecture you or something?”

Gabriel huffs a laugh and Dean feels his breath on his back.

“A little, yes.”

“Why didn’t he say anything before?”

Dean is surprised it would take someone like him to make the angels realize that sometimes humans have feelings too.

“Cas is very observant but he’s a bit…. Uh, oblivious to things most of the time, except when something picks his curiosity. I think he finds you fascinating so he probably studied you for a while. I think he’s curious about you.”

Gabriel starts running his hand through Dean’s hair. Dean hums in contentment.

“When he gets passionate about something he can spend hours on it.” The angel goes on. “Like the time he discovered digital cameras. That’s why I have a picture of Jordan’s mother. I mean I have a picture of all the slaves that were here at the time, several pictures of Castiel’s nose too. And flowers. I don’t know what was so interesting about them but Cas took a lot of pictures of the garden. And then he got over it and he found something else. I think now you’re his new hobby.”

Dean hides his face into the sheets because he feels a little bit embarrassed by that.

“I’m not that interesting…” He mumbles.

“Of course you are. You have no idea how much…” Gabriel whispers in his ear.

He pulls away then, and Dean blushes a little at the sound it makes when he takes his length out of his ass, but Gabriel ignores it and rolls him on his back forcefully. Dean grunts, but he doesn’t have time to protest. Gabriel lies down on him again and nibbles at his mouth gently. He pulls the sheets on them both as he does so.

“I thought kissing was forbidden.” Dean whispers against his mouth, changing the subject.

He doesn’t like when he has to talk about himself. And he still feels a bit embarrassed after their little chat.

Gabriel scoffs. “Nah. It’s like an ancient unspoken rule or something. I don’t really care anymore.”

Dean can’t help but smile at that. He’s really happy he managed to convince the angel to try it because he tastes really good and Dean doesn’t want to stop kissing him. Ever. His lips are really soft and they fit perfectly with his own.

He’s exhausted and it’s easy to get lost in the taste and smell of Gabriel, in the feeling of his tongue pushing in his mouth and he barely registers that somehow he hears the sound of wings at the foot of the bed. He doesn’t think much of it until Gabriel pulls away.

He opens his eyes, looking at the angel who’s staring at a random spot on the sheets next to Dean’s head. He’s frowning and he looks annoyed. He turns around slightly, holding himself on one elbow, looking over his shoulder. Dean raises his head a little to see what he’s looking at and he almost chokes on his own saliva when he sees Castiel standing there, wearing his usual suit and trenchcoat, looking at them like nothing is wrong.

Well, speak of the Devil…

“What the-!” He barks.

He fumbles with the sheets until he manages to pulls them up and cover himself up to his chin. Gabriel is still half-lying on top of him so it’s difficult. What the fuck is Castiel doing here? Doesn’t the guy know how to knock?

“Cas, I thought I explained to you what doors were for. Maybe you forgot about it but when they’re closed that generally means you can’t come in.” Gabriel deadpans.

Castiel blinks at him.

“I waited until you were done, but this is urgent.” He turns to Dean like he just noticed he was here. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean doesn’t answer. He feels like his face is on fire. He doesn’t dare open his mouth. Castiel turns to Gabriel again.

“You’re naked.” He states. “That’s new.”

Gabriel just sighs. “What do you want?”

Castiel straightens and walks closer to the bed.

“The Slaves Rights Movement is sending someone to check on us. Apparently they’re sending emissaries all over the country. I met with the young man who’s supposed to come here. He’s been asking for a visit for weeks now but I didn’t think it was the right time. He was… very insistent about this.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “And I’m supposed to care because…?”

“I told him we were busy with… Something. But he was very adamant that he should come here and I couldn’t hold him for too long… He’ll be here first thing in the morning.”

Gabriel scoffs. He turns to Dean and his mouth twist in displeasure. He looks at Castiel again.

“The SRM is such a pain… Seriously. They’re not going to find anything incriminating here. And even if they do it’s not like they have any kind of power over it.”

“That’s what I told him, but he said every slave owner were going to be visited. Including Demons.”

Gabriel laughs unhappily. “Right. They’re sure to get a nice welcome party.”

Castiel shifts his weight. “I don’t really have time for this so I just wanted to let you know what’s coming. I need to go back. Don’t do anything bad, Gabriel.”

“You know me.”

“Yes. I do. That’s why I had to come warn you as soon as possible.”

“I’ll behave, Cas. Don’t worry.”

Castiel squints at him like he’s trying to see if he’s lying or not. Then he relaxes a little and steps back.

“Fine. I’ll let you get back to your sexual activities now. Good night.”

Dean doesn’t have time to protest or blush even more. There’s the sound of wings again and Castiel’s gone. Gabriel is laughing as he settles on top of Dean. He pushes the sheets away from Dean’s face and starts kissing him again.

“There’s a Slaves Rights Movement?” Dean asks.

He’s really curious about this. He knows there’s a Free Men’s Party or whatever their name is, he didn’t know there are actually people who are trying to defend slaves. But he figures, some of the free men out there are former slaves or had parents who were so it makes sense.

Gabriel keeps kissing him as he answers. “Yeah…” He kisses the corner of his mouth. “They’re good people. They’re just a bit pushy, is all.” He kisses the side of Dean’s jaw.

“Do they do that often? Coming to check on slave owners?”

“Hm nah. First time I hear about something like that.” He comes back to Dean’s mouth. “But that’s good, I guess? I don’t really know how that works, as long as they don’t start attacking me or the house, I’m fine with it. Some activists are a bit crazy.”

Dean can only agree with that. But he can’t really blame those people for wanting to help their fellow men. It’s more than he ever did. He’s just a hunter. He protects people from monsters but that’s about it. He’s not really good with politics.

Finally he lets out a sigh and starts kissing back. He doesn’t know how he’ll react to seeing a free man for the first time in month. He doesn’t really care right now. There’s a really hot Archangel lying on top of him and that’s all he needs to think about for now.

~*~

When he wakes up the next day he feels a bit cold, and he realizes no one’s in bed with him. He blinks a few times, looking around to make sure Gabriel isn’t here. He’s alone then, uh.

And then he remembers they’re supposed to have a visitor. That would explain the angel’s absence. He’s a bit sad about it, but he’s a grown man after all. He can deal.

He stretches his arms, letting out a long moan of satisfaction. He’s sore all over, but it feels awesome. He hasn’t felt like that in a while. He hasn’t slept that well in a while too. He gets up carefully because his whole body hurts like he just ran a marathon, and he goes to check the bathroom. It’s empty, but there are fresh clothes waiting for him.

He hops into the shower and just stands under the warm water, enjoying the feeling of it. The water pressure in there is amazing. And today he feels like it’s okay if he takes his time. He knows Gabriel won’t mind much.

When he feels he’s about to get all wrinkly if he doesn’t move, he comes out of the shower and takes his time to put his clothes on. Truth is, he’s a little bit nervous about the SRM guy. He hopes he won’t bump into him unexpectedly. He’ll probably ask to see them all together though, so Dean tries to prepare himself for it.

He gets out of the room, ready to go work on the Impala again. He’s really eager to see her again. It’s been weeks after all. He’s happily bouncing down the stairs that lead to the hallway when he hears Gabriel’s voice. He looks up, a smile on his face, and sees the angel getting out of the slaves’ quarters.

He’s explaining something to Sam and Dean misses a step and he barely manages to catch the railing before he falls head first the rest of the way.

_What??_

“Dean, are you okay?” He hears Gabriel ask.

His heart his beating like crazy in his chest. _Okay, Dean, chill. You don’t know him. Don’t look at him. Don’t do anything stupid_.

He looks up and his eyes lock onto Sam. And yes, that’s him, that’s his brother and he looks back at Dean with tears in his eyes and Dean has trouble finding Gabriel’s gaze again.

“Dean?”

“Uh, yeah I uh… I slipped.” He utters.

The angel corks an eyebrow at him and smiles smugly. Dean tries to slow his heart down. He doesn’t know what to do. His brother found him. He can’t believe it. He found him. And he’s here.

Dean is in really deep shit.

 


	7. Curiosity killed the cat

Dean can’t stop staring at Sam but he knows he has to because Gabriel doesn’t look suspicious at all, which means he doesn’t know who Sam is, and Dean doesn’t want to be the one who gives him all the clues he needs to figure it out. Sam’s already walking away from the stairs, looking around as if he’s just here to inspect things, and Dean has to say he’s really convincing. He doesn’t know how the kid does it. It’s probably because he was prepared to find Dean here. Dean wasn’t prepared to see him, that’s for sure. He’s a bit ashamed to be thinking this but he had given up on the hope that Sam would find him a while ago.

And now he’s acting like he couldn’t care less about Dean so Dean decides it’s better to just go with it and do the same.

“Well don’t just stand there. Don’t you have things to do?” Gabriel asks.

He’s frowning at Dean now so Dean straightens up and walks down the stairs slowly. He doesn’t want to look like he’s trying to escape the situation (which he totally is. He needs a bit of time to process things).

“Sorry Master, I uh… I need some coffee, I think.”

He’s avoiding Sam’s gaze at all cost.

“Right. But hurry up, Camilla is looking for you.”

He nods as he passes them by and he really has to restrain himself in order not to run. When he reaches the kitchen he stops, and he realizes his hands are shaking. He takes a few breaths.

“Okay, calm down…” He whispers to himself.

Sammy’s here. He can’t believe it. Sammy found him. What is he gonna say to him? Are they gonna be able to talk? He needs to find a way to communicate with him at least. He doesn’t want his brother to raid the mansion. Gabriel doesn’t deserve to have his house destroyed. The other slaves don’t either. They live here too. Sam wouldn’t be stupid enough to just set fire to the mansion without thinking about it first. Dean knows that. And anyway Sam cares too much about people to do something violent. But he still wants to talk to him before he tries anything.

Damn. He was here, staring at Dean, with his impossibly long hair falling in front of his eyes, and Dean can’t wrap his head around this. He’s alive. He’s here.

He’s probably going to take Dean away from here. Away from Gabriel.

Shit. Dean doesn’t know what to do. He’s so conflicted all of a sudden he can’t move under the weight of everything.

He can’t think about it much longer though.

“Dean? Come back here!” He hears Gabriel yell.

What now? He can’t do this, he needs a bit more time, for Christ’s sake, he needs at least a couple of coffees for this. He takes another big breath and gets out of the kitchen. He joins them in the entrance hall again and he stop a few steps away from Gabriel, taking the Stance. He notices Sam is wearing his too-short suit, the one he uses when they’re trying to fake something official.

“Dean, this is Theodore Nugent.”

Dean snorts. He can’t help it. _Seriously, Sam?_ Gabriel blinks at him.

“Sorry.” He says.

He tries not to laugh. He can’t help it. That’s too much stress and Sam really sucks at aliases.

“What’s wrong with you today?” Gabriel asks.

“Nothing, I’m sorry Master.” He turns to Sam. “Sorry, sir.”

“It’s okay…” Sam says.

Dean can see he’s trying to hide a bitch face. He straightens up and looks at Gabriel again.

“So… Mister Nugent here is the SRM’s representative who came to check on the house and on all of you, but Cas is waiting for me up there and apparently it’s urgent so can you show him around?”

Dean is surprised. But it’s a great opportunity to talk to Sam at least.

“Uh… Yeah, sure. But didn’t you say Mrs. Herbe-“

“Don’t worry about her. Just… Show Mister Nugent the property and I’ll be back with you as soon as I’m done, okay?”

Dean nods. Gabriel turns to Sam. “You don’t mind, do you?”

Sam looks annoyed, and he twists his mouth like it’s not what he expected. He lets out a sigh.

“That’ll do, I guess.”

“Sorry but I really have to go.” Gabriel adds.

He pats Sam on the shoulder and in a blink he’s gone. Dean doesn’t waste a second and he starts walking toward the exit. He waits until they’re outside, a good distance from the house before he starts talking. He doesn’t look at Sam yet. He doesn’t turn around.

“You found me.”

He still can’t believe it.

“Took me a while, but yeah. Did you think I gave up on you?”

Dean wants to hug the kid. But he can’t. He’s so glad to finally hear is voice again he feels like he’s about to burst out crying.

“I thought you were dead.” He admits.

He hears Sam scoff behind him. “You won’t get rid of me that easily.” He jokes.

Dean keeps walking. He sees the barn from afar and he thinks it’ll be safe enough. It’s too far away. He feels like they’re never going to reach it. He can’t wait. He wants to look Sam in the eyes and make sure it’s really him and he’s really here.

He keeps walking, as fast as he can and finally they’re both behind the barn, hidden from the house. He stops, and he hears Sam do the same behind him. He turns around slowly.

“Hey.” Sam whispers.

He’s looking at Dean with a small, shy smile, like he’s not sure of what he should do next. There are tears in his eyes and he’s hiding his hands in his pockets, like he’s trying to take less space, make himself look smaller.

Dean can’t hold it anymore. He pulls his brother into a bone-crushing hug, holding him as tight as he can. He’s here, he’s really here, Dean can smell he’s still washing his hair with that horrible shampoo of his that kinda smells like patchouli and he can’t help but laugh at that. He’s crying at the same time. It’s ridiculous.

“God, Sammy, I thought you were dead.” He says again.

Because yeah, he actually did. He never thought Sam would find him after all those months, he figured if he hadn’t that meant he was gone.

He lets go, keeping his hands on Sam’s shoulders just to make sure he’s not going anywhere.

“We don’t have much time, I think…” Sam says.

He looks serious all of a sudden so Dean wipes the tears away with the back on his hand. It occurs to him that Sam is here right under the nose of the angels and he feels a surge of anger coming up. He punches Sam on the shoulder, as hard as he can.

“Ow! Dean!”

“Are you out of your mind?! They know things about you, what if they knew what you look like? What were you thinking coming here?”

Sam huffs. “I was thinking about saving your ass. And you don’t need to worry, I had Ash remove every little piece of info about us from every database possible. It’s like we don’t even exist anymore. The only things the angels have is the file they made about you when they took you.”

Okay well, Dean knows Ash is good. He’s really good. The guy is a bit weird, and his hair always makes Dean want to grab a pair of scissors and cut that awful mullet out of his head but he’s one of the cleverest people they know. And he’s particularly good with computers.

He tries to calm down and he feels the anger slowly slip away. He can’t help it, he’s tried to protect Sam for months and the kid just shows up here like it’s no big deal. He shake it off with a laugh.

“Okay, what’s the plan? I can’t get out, I tried.” He asks.

Gabriel is important, but less important than Sam. His brother came all this way, spent all this time to find him, he can’t show any doubt about his willingness to get away from here.

“I’m guessing you have a mark?”

Dean hold up his arm.

“Yeah. It’s linked to a… a repelling spell? If I try to cross the limits I get fried.”

Sam sighs. “That’s what I feared… I need some time to think about it then…”

He looks away toward the house, like he’s scared someone will show up. He looks back to Dean and he smiles like he can’t help it.

“I’m so glad to see you, Dean… Are you okay? I mean, really?”

Dean nods. “Yeah, don’t worry. Gabriel is fine. Better than most I’d say. He actually takes good care of his slaves. He doesn’t even need that much actually, he just… He rescues people, I think? Most of the others had demon Masters before.”

He sees Sam’s mouth tighten in a thin line.

“He hasn’t… hurt you?”

“No.”

“Does he know you’re the one who…” He trails off.

The one who killed Ana, he wants to say.

“Yeah, yeah he knows but… He hasn’t done anything about it. Maybe he thinks me being here is enough? I’ve met Lucifer and Michael, though. They’re not that nice…”

Dean shifts his weight and briefly looks away, thinking about that night. He hopes he’ll never meet the two Archangels again.

“And who’s that… Cas guy? I haven’t even seen him, suddenly the Archangel told me he had to go, that someone was waiting for him.”

Dean straightens up. He remembers what Castiel told him the night of Jordan’s birthday. He needs to tell his brother about this. He feels excited all of a sudden.

“He’s… Sam, they told me things… His name is Castiel, he’s the one enforcing justice, only in this district I think… I don’t really know but the High Council? It’s actually Archangels. There’s one of them for each district. And they’re getting attacked. The angels’ murders, I think it’s about them.”

Sam looks surprise. He runs a hand through his hair.

“That explains a lot… How… Why would they tell you that?”

“They know we’ve been working on the murders… I mean, they don’t know about you but they know I did, so they asked for help. Since they’re not letting me out they probably think the news won’t get out of here. This is what we were missing, Sam! One of them is already dead, we need to-”

“Dean, Dean! I get it, okay, I know this case is important to you but the priority is to get you out of here. We’ll talk about it later.”

He looks in the direction of the Mansion again. Yeah, right. Priorities, Dean. He’s not used to that feeling of urgency anymore. He needs to get out. Sam is going to bust him out.

“Right, sorry. So, what? I just wait while you look for something?”

Sam nods. “Yeah, I’ll try to find an excuse to come back as soon as I find what we need. My best guess is we’ll have to erase the mark. But it’s an Archangel’s sigil so… It’s either going to take a while or hurt like a bitch.”

“I don’t care. Just… Take all the time you need, okay? That spell is really powerful, I don’t want to end up toasted because you rushed things.”

Sam half laughs. “Yeah, okay. Should we… go back inside? If they find us…”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. Whatever you say, _Theodore_ …”

He starts walking away, laughing.

“I… Don’t laugh, okay! I’ve been using that name for a while, it works!” He hears Sam says behind him.

He smiles to himself. He didn’t know how much he missed his little brother until that day.

He’ll think about Gabriel later. He’ll figure something out.

~*~

“Did you see the SRM guy? He’s cute!” Charlie beams.

They’re in the kitchen, and the girls, Charlie, Jess and Lisa are cooking because Castiel is still here, and Gabriel asked Sam to stay for lunch.

Dean rolls his eyes at her.

“Jess thinks he’s cute, right Jess?” Charlie goes on. Jess blushes slightly but she keeps her eyes on the pans in front of her. Lisa just plain ignores her. She’s probably used to it by now. Dean isn’t doing anything, just looking at them, because Gabriel told him to stay somewhere close to take care of Sam when they’ll be done eating. Apparently he doesn’t want to spend too much time with him.

“It doesn’t matter what I think.” Jess finally says. “I’m a slave, he’s a free man. After today he’ll be gone. End of story.”

It breaks Dean’s heart to hear her say it. She’s probably right, even if he thinks Sam would probably like her too. They’d make a cute couple.

Charlie keeps throwing innuendos at Jess anyway while they cook and clean the dishes. Jess starts relaxing a bit after a while, Dean even sees she’s smiling when she comes back from the dining room where she brought them dessert.

He helps them wash everything – because he feels bad when he’s not doing anything – and when they’re done they sit together, the four of them, and they chat a bit while waiting for Mrs Herbert to come get them. Gabriel insisted they had to all come see Sam. Dean thinks it’s because he wants Sam out of here as quickly as possible and he wants to show him everything and everyone is fine.

Finally Mrs. Hebert gathers them all in front of the dining room and pushes them inside one by one. They all take the Stance and Dean tries to avoid looking at Sam.

“So this is everyone. Go ahead if you want to ask questions.” Gabriel says.

He sits back on his chair and gives Sam a pointed look. Sam looks awkward, sitting next to the Archangel. It’s a weird sight. Castiel is sitting on the other side of Gabriel and he’s not saying anything. Sam clears his throat and looks at them all in turn. Dean can see he’s trying to come up with something. He wasn’t expecting this.

“I… Uh, you’re not supposed to… I mean… I usually interview people one by one if they’re available and-“

“Well, they are now. I can’t let you hold them all day long though. So go ahead, ask your questions.”

Sam opens his mouth and closes it again. He doesn’t know what to say. Dean starts to sweat. Really, he needs to ask something, anything.

“You’re new at this, aren’t you?” Gabriel asks.

Dean sees he’s smiling like he’s mocking Sam a bit. Sam shrugs and smiles apologetically.

“Okay then, I’ll help you, because I don’t have all day. Shouldn’t you ask about… I don’t know, the way they sleep, if I feed them well, if I beat on them or not, who’s the pleasure slave and is he okay with everything…“

Sam blinks. “You have pleasure slaves?”

“Doesn’t everyone?”

Sam half-laughs, his cheeks look a little bit red as he eyes the girls.

“Sure, I just… I mean… You’re an Archangel so I thought…” He trails off.

Gabriel just smile at him, apparently pleased that he made Sam so uncomfortable. Sam turns to the girls.

“You’re looking in the wrong direction.” Gabriel adds.

Sam frowns and he turns back to him.

“I don’t-“

“We’re not really his type.” Charlie says.

Dean holds back a groan. She feels a little bit too comfortable around Gabriel ever since Christmas. He doesn’t want Sam to know who is pleasing the Master here. He doesn’t want her to spill everything. Really, this is a dangerous topic. He tries not to blush or move.

Sam keeps frowning at her until she pointedly looks toward the men, then back to Sam, and back to the men again. And Dean can pinpoint the exact moment Sam gets it. His eyes go wide and his eyebrows almost disappear into his hairline.

“Oh.” He just says.

He looks at Dean, then at Bobby but he skips him quickly, and his gaze suddenly stops on Ben. Ben looks around and makes a face.

“Ew! No!” He just says.

Gabriel is still smiling, he’s apparently enjoying himself. Dean tries to make him understand that he doesn’t want Sam to know. Come on, this is private! Nobody outside the house needs to know! But Gabriel keeps smiling smugly and he winks at Dean. Sam hasn’t seen anything because he’s looking at Victor like he doesn’t understand anything anymore.

And finally he looks at Dean. He’s still frowning, and he looks back to Charlie who’s smiling too. She nods at him. He looks back at Dean. Dean feels the heat coming to his face in one big wave. He’s pretty sure he’s bright red. He looks down.

“Oh.” Sam whispers.

And now he knows and Dean feels dizzy all of a sudden because he’s doesn’t know how his brother will react but he’s sure it’s going to be bad. He’ll probably leave him here and never come back.

“So, Dean. Are you happy with our arrangement?” Gabriel asks again.

Dean can’t look up. He can’t lie either. Of course he’s happy with it. Gabriel knows it. Why would he insist like this? Dean knows he’s not really glad about this because he thinks Sam is actually from the Slave Rights Movement and he doesn’t like unexpected visitors but still. Dean is so mad at him right now.

“Can we not talk about this?” He says in between gritted teeth.

“Why? You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It’s private.”

“It’s not for you to decide.”

Dean can’t believe him. He can’t help but look up at the angel and he doesn’t make any effort to hide the anger in his eyes. Gabriel seems surprised by it. He’s still smiling though.

“Do you like it or not? The gentleman here wants to know if I treat you well.”

Sam is looking at Gabriel, gritting his teeth. When he hears what the angel is asking he quickly glances in Dean’s direction.

“I don’t think this is necess-“ Sam tries.

“Dean.” The angel interrupts.

“Yes, I’m fine with it, okay?”

He doesn’t look at Sam as he says it. He tries to look anywhere but at his brother. Castiel watches them all with curious interest.

“See? Everybody’s peachy.” Gabriel says, turning to Sam again. “Now if you don’t mind we have things to attend to. If you’ve seen everything you had to see I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Dean can’t help it. He glances at Sam and sees that he’s a bit taken aback. He also looks a little angry and it makes Dean’s heart tighten in his chest. Finally Sam sighs.

“Alright.” He gets up. “I’m sorry, this was a bad time. I’ll come back when it’ll be more convenient. I still have to interview your personnel.”

He smiles, but he doesn’t do anything to hide the fact that it’s fake.

“Right. You do that.” Gabriel says, the same pretend smile plastered on his face. “Dean, please show Mister Nugent out. All the way out.”

Dean was so focused on Sam it takes him a couple of second to realize Gabriel is talking to him. He blinks at the angel.  

“All the way… You mean…”

“To the road, Dean.”

There’s a force field before that that Dean can’t cross.

“But I can’t-“

“Now you can. Just go.”

He eyes Gabriel one last time.

“Yes Master.” He finally says.

He doesn’t want to look at the angel anymore, anyway. He’s so furious that Gabriel had to say something about what they were doing. Of all the things he could have said to show Sam his slaves were okay he chose this. Dean thinks he did it on purpose because he knew it would make Dean uncomfortable but he has no idea just how much he fucked things up.

Dean turns around and he doesn’t even wait to see if Sam is following him. When they’re outside, he hears his footsteps behind him and suddenly he’s scared. He doesn’t know what to say to Sam, he doesn’t know if he’ll even want to talk to him. He’s cold because, again, he’s only wearing the long sleeve shirt, and it occurs to him he should have taken a jacket at least, but really he can’t bring himself to care. Everything’s ruined.

They keep walking in silence until they reach the straight path bordered by trees that leads to the entry gates. Dean needs to say something, anything. He needs to try at least.

“Sam, I-“

“Don’t sweat it.” Sam says.

His voice seems hard to Dean’s ears. He’s not sure what to make of it. He slows down his pace and waits until Sam is walking next to him. He sees Sam run a hand through his hair.

“I…” Sam starts again. He finally looks at Dean. “I always knew you were a little gay, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He looks a bit exasperated, and Dean sees he’s trying to hide his anger.

“What?” This is not what he expected. “I’m not… I wasn’t… How could you know? I didn’t even know until I came here.”

Sam snorts. “Right. We grew up together, Dean. You know all the episodes of Knight Rider by heart. And don’t tell me it’s because of the car…”

“I-“

“I still remember your Swayze period, too.”

“Everybody has a Swayze period.”

“You were obsessed with the guy, Dean. You even tried to learn how to surf. You’ve seen Ghost so many times you broke the tape. And there was that one time I found a magazine under your bed that definitely wasn’t a Playboy.”

Dean feels himself blush again.

“I found that in the trash. I was just curious.”

“Sure.”

Okay. Well. Dean doesn’t know if he should be feeling embarrassed or relieved. Probably both.

“So you’re not mad at me?”

Sam stops walking and turns to him.

“Of course I’m mad. The guy’s an archangel! He’s everything we stand up against! I’ve looked for you everywhere thinking I would probably find you dead because you’d never just lay down and take it and I come here and I find out you actually did. Literally! I just…”

He lets out a frustrated breath and starts walking again. Dean runs after him.

“I can’t believe you let him talk you into this!”

“I thought you were dead, Sam, I… I don’t remember what happened the night they got me but I thought they killed you and… Of course I fought him at first but after a while I thought, what’s the point, you know? If you were dead and if I couldn’t get out of here on my own then I could at least make my life seem a little less miserable…”

They finally reach the gates and so they stop walking. Sam turns to look at him again and he sighs.

“Do you really like it?” He asks.

Dean sees he’s a bit embarrassed.

“Yeah. I uh… He’s actually really nice to me.” He smiles fondly.

Sam is eyeing him all serious-face now. He crosses his arms on his chest.

“What?”

“Dean, don’t tell me you actually like him.”

Dean doesn’t answer.

“Dean…”

“It doesn’t mean anything, okay? It’s just… Nice. I don’t mind it. I mean, I… I like it, yeah. And he asked for my permission before we started anything. He waited until I said yes and I’m sure he wouldn’t have cared if I said no. He gave me the choice, Sam. I chose this.”

He feels a bit exasperated now.

“Really? Because I’ve seen how you behave here and I don’t really recognize you anymore. It’s like the guy brain-washed you. How do you know he didn’t forced you into this too?”

Dean can’t believe what he’s hearing. Why is everybody against him today?!

“I’m an adult Sam, I can make my own decision.”

Sam looks like he doesn’t believe him.

“You call him ‘Master’ without batting an eyelash, you do everything he asks you, you don’t even look like you mind, it’s like you actually like it when he gives you orders. Dean, this is not you. How can you be sure you really like him? You’re not yourself anymore because he conditioned you, and he manipulated you into doing what he wanted. And he made you like it.”

Dean has to look away. The anger is coming back. First Gabriel and now Sam. It’s like nobody trusts him to make his own choices anymore. He runs a hand through his hair and let out a breath to try and calm himself down. He looks at Sam again.

“It’s not like that. You don’t know him like I do, okay?”

Sam let out an unhappy laugh.

“Listen to yourself, Dean! He’s an Archangel, remember? He’s way older than we can imagine, don’t you think he learned how to put on a mask and make you believe he’s the perfect guy for you just so you’ll do whatever he likes?”

Dean doesn’t want to believe Sam. He knows it makes sense, but he can’t believe Gabriel would do something like that. Sam doesn’t know him. Dean is very good at reading people. And he lived with the angel for months, nobody can act for that long without betraying themselves. No, really, he doesn’t believe Gabriel would do that. He’s different.

But he doesn’t want to explain all of this right now. They don’t have time. If he’s gone from the house for too long they’ll get suspicious. And he’d rather not talk about all this anymore.

“You know what Sammy? Maybe you’re right, maybe you’re not, but we don’t have time to sit down and talk about it right now, okay? I can’t be gone for too long. Please. We’ll talk about it when I’ll be out, alright?”

He tries to steady his breathing, get his heartbeat back to normal. He pushes the anger away and he gives Sam a pleading look.

Sam keeps staring at him for a few seconds until he lets his arm fall at his side and sigh.

“Okay, well… I’d better go. I’ll try to come back, I’ll probably need to map the place, test the spell maybe so… Try not to do anything stupid, okay?”

Dean huffs a laugh.

“Don’t worry. Just be careful okay? It was a really crazy idea you had here. Coming in like this I mean… Just be careful, Sam. They’re angels. They’re dangerous.”

“I know, Dean.”

Dean can’t stop staring at Sam. He wishes he could hug him again but he doesn’t dare. Sam smiles and he turns around. Dean keeps watching him as he walks away. Everything is fine. He’s about to get his freedom back. Everything will be back to normal, finally.

He won’t see Gabriel ever again after this, he knows that. And it hurts. It’s odd, he thinks. He’s never felt that kind of pain before and he’s not sure what it means. But Sam is important, his freedom is important. The job is important, too. And now thanks to this he knows things not a lot of other hunters know. So maybe he’ll be able to put an end to the murders. Maybe if he does Gabriel will forgive him for leaving.

He knows he promised him he wouldn’t leave but… That was before. Before he knew Sam was alive. Gabriel will manage. Dean isn’t even sure he means that much to the angel. He’ll probably be pissed for a few months and then he’ll move on, find another guy to play with and he’ll forget all about Dean.

Dean tries not to acknowledge the way his heart starts beating faster at the thought. Gabriel will forget him. Dean doesn’t think he’ll be able to forget all of this, ever. So he just has to make the most of it now, take advantage while he still can.

He’s going to be okay. Sam is back. Everything will be okay.

~*~

He has troubles getting back into the work the next day. It just feels so weird to know that Sam’s out there, and he can’t go to him. But he manages to do what he has to. He’s distracted though. He decides maybe it would be a good idea to stop and take a small break to have a little mid-morning coffee, or else he’s not going to last all day. He’s still sore from all the birthday sex too, that doesn’t help.

When he finally finds the time to stop by the kitchen Mrs. Herbert is already here.

“Ah, Dean! You’re here! Master Gabriel wants to see you.” She tells him as he enters the room.

His heart skips a beat.

“Why?” he asks.

What if Gabriel realized who Sam was? What if he knew from the start? Maybe that’s why he told Sam about Dean and him?

Mrs. Herbert shrugs. “How would I know?”

Dean doesn’t react. He needs to know what Gabriel knows. He steps out of the kitchen and climbs up the stairs. He saw Castiel earlier today so he doesn’t even need to ask where Gabriel is. They always spend all their time in his study. When he gets to the door he knocks, a bit too forcefully maybe, and he waits. It’s unbearable. He needs to know what they know. Maybe he can find a way to find Sam and warn him before he comes back.

“Come in!”

Gabriel sounds cheerful. Dean pushes the door and almost runs in.

Castiel isn’t here like he expected, and Gabriel is lying on the couch. He sits up and gestures at Dean to come closer. Dean does, and he can’t help but notice that Gabriel doesn’t look like someone who’s just learned he was about to lose a slave or anything. So that’s good. He was mistaken then, right?

Gabriel looks up to him.

“You’re angry with me.” He says.

Dean is a bit surprised that he would even care.

“No Master.” He lies.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. If Gabriel doesn’t know anything about Sam then he doesn’t want to talk to him. Sam was okay with him being a pleasure slave (sort of), it doesn’t mean he wants Gabriel to tell everyone about them every time someone visits the house. He’s still thinking about what Sam said about Gabriel. He doesn’t want to believe it but he can’t keep the thought away.

Gabriel pats the empty space next to him.

“Sit.” He orders.

Dean does. He doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s a bit exasperated.

“You’re angry because I told the SRM guy you were my pleasure slave.”

Dean doesn’t nod. He just sigh loudly.

“Yes. I am. But I guess I can’t do anything about it. It’s not for me to decide what you wanna talk about or not, right?”

Gabriel smiles knowingly.

“I see. You’re not angry because I told him. Maybe you were a bit embarrassed about it but that’s it. You’re angry because I treated you like a slave in front of a free man. Am I right?”

Dean looks away. Well, no, it’s not exactly that. He can’t say Gabriel’s wrong but… It’s not that.

“Yeah.” He just says.

“Don’t lie.”

Dean huffs. He turns to Gabriel again and eyes him for a second before he decides to open his mouth.

“Fine. I know I’m a slave, okay? It’s just… I thought…” _Okay, don’t blush, Winchester._ “I thought that… our relationship was evolving a little and… You know… Even if you’re still my Master I thought we were reaching a point where I mattered a bit… I mean… Not mattered like, to you but my… my input. You know? And if I can’t even have a say in who’s supposed to know what we do or not it’s just… Yeah it reminds me I’m your slave, and I don’t like it. Okay?”

He feels like he’s a little out of breath and he’s probably slightly red in the face but there, he said it. Gabriel is smiling smugly.

“You like that word.”

“What word?”

“’Relationship’. Not the first time you’re using it to describe what we do.”

Dean looks away. “Yeah well, that’s how it’s called when you’re not a slave, you know.”

Gabriel crawls up the couch and pushes Dean down until he’s lying down on his back, the angel on top of him. Dean has no choice but to look up at him. Gabriel’s hair is falling in front of his eyes and it makes him look ten years younger. Okay, this is cute maybe. A little.

“Is that what you want? A relationship?”

Dean can’t stop staring into his eyes. They’re… Kind of glassy today?

“You’re my Master.” He replies weakly.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t know.” He’s not staying. He has to remind himself of this. In a few weeks, maybe a couple of months he’ll be gone. “No.” He can’t let the angel hope for nothing.

“Really?”

“Yeah. That’s not…” He’s about to say ‘possible’, but he stops himself. “Proper. I mean, if you can’t even kiss your slaves in peace I can’t imagine what they’d do to you if you dated one, right?”

Gabriel shrugs. “It happens. It’s rare but… Some Masters marry their slaves. And then nobody can say anything about it anymore. Most don’t like it but they can’t forbid you.”

Dean frowns at him. He’s a bit confused. Nobody ever said anything about marriage. Did Gabriel just asked him-

He doesn’t finish that thought, first because he doesn’t even want to think about it, but also because Gabriel bent down and kissed him and… Wait. He tastes different. Stronger than usual. Is that vodka?

Dean pushes him away a little.

“You’ve been drinking.”

Gabriel huffs a laugh. “And?”

“And it’s ten thirty in the morning.”

“What are you? My mother? I drink when I want to. I’m the Master here, remember?”

He leans down again and starts kissing Dean’s neck. Dean tries to wriggle away but he can’t. Gabriel is holding him firmly in place.

“You never drink during the day.”

“Maybe I do.” The angel answers, his face still buried in his neck. “You don’t spend all your days with me.”  

Okay, what’s happening? This is weird. This all situation is heading toward quick couch sex and Dean’s pretty sure it’s not the angel style.

“Master? Please, I-“

Gabriel kisses him again, almost like he wants him to shut up. Dean tries to get away again but it doesn’t work. Not that he doesn’t like kissing him, obviously he does, a lot, but he needs to know if something’s wrong first. The angel goes back to his neck and Dean feels one of his hand pushing under his shirt. He feels a shiver of desire run up his spine but he tries to ignore it.

“Gabriel!” He says, louder this time.

Gabriel huffs in his neck and pulls himself away, almost reluctantly. The angel looks at him impatiently.

“Not that I don’t like… uh, all of this but, what’s happening?”

Gabriel sighs.

“Obviously I’m distracting you so you won’t ask.”

Okay? Really then if there’s something important he’s trying to hide, especially from Dean, Dean wants to know. He really wants to know right now.

“Yeah well, it’s not working.”

“Can’t you wait until tonight? I can keep you occupied until tonight if you want. Just, give me a few hours okay?”

He kisses Dean again and Dean just sighs in his mouth.

“No. Tell me now!”

Gabriel pulls away again and this time he looks defeated. He stays where he is and he lets one of his hand on Dean’s hip. He starts touching Dean’s hair with the other.

“I have some bad news.” He says.

Dean doesn’t know what it has to do with him. He tries to think about what could possibly be bad news for him from the angel’s point of view but really, he doesn’t come up with anything.

“What is it?”

“Lucifer is coming tonight.”

Dean feels like his heart stopped for a second at the mention of the name. He forgot how scared of the guy he was. It’s probably showing on his face judging by the look Gabriel is giving him.

“I won’t let him do anything to you.”

Dean scoffs. “Right. Like you didn’t last time.”

Okay, he didn’t mean to say that. Or at least he didn’t mean to make it sound that harsh but he can’t help it. He’s still a little bit mad at Gabriel about this, especially now that he knows him better.

“Watch your tone, Dean.”

“I’m sorry but that’s true! I’ve seen how you act around him. You’re scared of him. If he decides to do something to me-“

“He won’t.” Gabriel has lost his smile. He cups Dean’s cheek with his hand. “I won’t let him, okay?”

Dean stares back, and he can’t hide the fact that he doesn’t really believe him.

“What if he doesn’t listen to you? I’m just a slave, he can do whatever he likes with me and you won’t risk a fight with your brother for a slave.”

“Don’t say that.” Gabriel whispers. “You’re not ‘just a slave’ to me, okay?”

He runs his hand through Dean’s hair, looking at a random spot above his head. Dean doesn’t know what to say or what to do. He doesn’t have a choice in all this anyway. And maybe Gabriel thinks he’ll be able to stand up to his brother but Dean doesn’t think he can. He doesn’t think he’ll have the guts. Gabriel is against pain and violence and everything Lucifer seems to enjoy.

“Why is he coming? Can’t you go to his place instead?”

Gabriel looks down at him.

“I… Don’t really like it there it’s… He’s a traditionalist.”

Meaning he treats his slaves like animals who are just here to do his biddings. Okay, Dean can get he doesn’t want to set foot in a place like this. But still.

“Why is he coming?” He repeats.

He wants to know if it’s important. If something happens to him at least he wants to know it’s for a good reason. Maybe Lucifer just wants to have another go at him?

Gabriel seems to hesitate before he answers.

“Raphael is not the only Archangel who’s been killed. There were a few other murders. It’s happening all over the world, not just here. There’s a reasonable number of Archangels out there, but if one is killed then he’s never replaced. So the High Council has to be reunited. We’re going to meet soon to decide what to do with the orphan districts now. And Luci wants to talk about it before we go. That’s what we usually do before a Council anyway.”

He looks like he doesn’t like the idea at all.

“You don’t like those Council meetings, do you?” He settles himself against the couch and let his hand run on Gabriel’s chest. “Is it because you have like a mortal ennemy there or…?” He trails off, trying to make the mood lighter.

Gabriel scoffs. “I’m not discussing that with you. You know enough as it is.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Dean.”

“Okay.”

It’s getting serious then. The angels murders were already worrying but this is something else. Dean knows that you can’t kill angels with any weapons. It took him and Sam a while before finding out about angels’ blades. Those are easy to find if you know how. Just make the angel drop his weapon and take it for yourself. After that you’re all set to go and kill as many angels as you want. But Archangels have their own blades. You can’t kill them with a regular angel’s blade. Dean wonders who’s powerful enough to either kill an Archangel without one or steal it from one of them.

He’s never seen anything like it before.

“Don’t get killed, is all I’m asking.” He just says.

Because now that’s a possibility.

Gabriel kisses him lightly on the lips. “Don’t worry for me. I’m not that important. I’m not even that high ranked. I’m nothing compared to some others.”

Dean smiles. “You realize you’re spilling all of your heavenly secrets to me.”

“Yeah. But I trust you.”

Dean doesn’t know what to answer to that. Gabriel kisses him again and Dean lets him do it.

“Now…” The angel says. “Can I bend you over this couch or is it too early for that?”

He’s smiling smugly again so Dean smirks back.

“It’s never too early for that.”

~*~

The distraction worked for a while. For the rest of the morning, and a small part of the afternoon. But then Castiel came back and Dean had to leave him and Gabriel alone. Slowly, as the evening came, he started to feel like his intestines were trying to crawl out of his body. Now Lucifer is here, in the living room with Gabriel, Castiel and even Michael (another douchebag who hates Dean’s guts, awesome) and Dean is fucking scared.

He’s sitting in the kitchen because Gabriel told him to stay locked inside the slaves’ quarters, but he just can’t stay there on his own. Jordan helped a little, but she went off to bed half an hour ago. So he joined the others who are cleaning everything now that dinner is over, and he’s just staring at them. Being surrounded by people helps a little, but not that much. Bobby and Victor are sitting with him. Victor is reading yesterday’s papers aloud, and Bobby comments on the news. Charlie and Gilda went to bed a little while ago, Mrs. Hebert is in her room too and now Jess and Lisa are the only one still working. After they get the angels their dose of alcohol they’ll be able to go to bed. Ben is nowhere in sight. He’s probably in their quarters reading one of his comic book. Dean doesn’t know where he finds them, he just saw that they were very old. The kid just keeps reading them over and over again.

Dean glances at the clock for the hundredth time and he sighs nervously. He’s scared but at the same time he wants to know what the angels are talking about. Gabriel said it was something they were doing before each Council but the circumstances are special this time. He wants to know more about those murders. He knows this case is particular for him because he feels guilty about Ana. But he can’t help it. He needs to find out who’s doing this, he knows he’s going to go right back onto it once Sam bails him out and he doesn’t have much time left to find out more about it. About the Archangels especially.

He needs to find out what they’re talking about.

Jessica is gathering glasses and bottles of various types of alcohol on a tray in front of him. He stares at it for a while, until he gets an idea. A very dangerous, stupid, amazingly awful idea, but an idea nonetheless. When she’s done she starts pushing the tray to bring everything to the angel and he stands up, blocking her way.

“I’ll do it!” He says, pushing her on the side and taking her place.

“Wha-“

“Idjit!” Bobby almost yells.

He pulls Dean back by his shirt. Dean tries to wriggle away but Bobby just slaps the back of his head.

“Ow!”

“What do you think you’re doin’?” Bobby asks.

“Nothing! I’m just helping!”

Bobby snorts. “Right. D’you think I’m stupid? Let go of the tray, Kid.”

Reluctantly, Dean sighs and he lets Jess take the tray out of the kitchen. He turns to Bobby and give him an annoyed look. Who does the guy thinks he is?

“You wanna die, is that it?”

Dean scoffs. “I was just trying to help…” He mumbles.

“Because if you go out there,” Bobby goes on, not listening to him. “And if Lucifer doesn’t end you right there then Master Gabriel will. And then he’ll end us for letting you out of our sight! Is that really what you want?!”

Well, Bobby is pissed now. Dean is too. The guy doesn’t understand. He can’t understand, really.

“I can’t explain why but I need to go out there!” Dean finally answers. There’s no point in trying to explain anyway. “I’ll deal with Gabriel later, I’ll tell him you tried to hold me here if it makes you feel better.”

He starts to turn around to get out of the kitchen but Bobby grabs his arm, holding him back.

“I get it, okay? I’ve hunted before. I know you want to know about stuff you shouldn’t know about, and you think you’re all clever and you can go and listen to them without them noticing. Well I got news for you : you can’t. They’re archangels! You’re just human. You’re a slave. Get over it. It’s over. You’re not a hunter anymore.”

Dean glances at him. He tries to ignore the last part of his little speech.

“You’ve hunted before? What does that even mean? I thought you’ve been here almost all your life?”

“I’ve helped Master Castiel’s slaves for a few years. Master Gabriel asked me to stop when I broke my neck and almost died. But I’ve probably done the job longer than you have, so trust me when I tell you it’s not worth it.”

“Castiel has slaves? I thought he lived here.”

Bobby sighs and gives Dean a look that makes him feel like he’s five again. “They’re more like mercenaries. They’re not the same folks I worked with now, Castiel frees them when they get too old. They help him with cases that involve humans in exchange for their own house and a bit more freedom than us regular slaves. That’s why you never saw them before.”

Dean is surprised by this piece of info and he’s momentarily distracted as he thinks about it. But it doesn’t last long.

“If you were a hunter then you know I have to try at least. Let go of me, Bobby.”

Victor and Lisa are staring at them but they’re not moving. Bobby grits his teeth and his grip on Dean’s arm tightens.

“I can’t let you do that. If you get out of this room something bad’s going to happen. Do yourself a favor and forget about this.”

Dean keeps staring at him. He just stares into Bobby’s eyes and he tries really hard not to punch him in the face and run.

“Let go of me.” He says, as quietly as he can.

It’s like everything is frozen for a few seconds. Dean can almost physically feel the tension that invaded the room. He wonders if Bobby is pissed enough to just hit him until he gives up. He can try anyway. He can beat Dean bloody, it won’t make him stop.

After a while Bobby sighs and he lets go of Dean’s arm.

“Fine!” He says. “If you wanna get killed that’s your problem, not ours.”

He goes back to his chair and sits down again, turning his back to Dean. Dean doesn’t waste any time. He turns around and almost run to the first floor and he stops in front of the living room door, trying to hear what’s happening inside.

Problem is, he can’t hear shit. The door is too thick. Obviously he can’t open it, not even a little.

Suddenly the door opens and he jumps on the side, his heart hammering in his chest. But it’s just Jess getting out of the room. She’s not carrying the tray anymore. Surprised, she stops for a second and she turns to look inside the room, her eyes wide. She closes the door but Dean holds it just before she can close it for good, leaving just a little opening that the angels can’t see but that allows Dean to hear what they say. Jess gives him a panicked look.

“Go!” He mouths.

She doesn’t move for a few seconds, so he waves toward the other side of the corridor. She needs to go, he doesn’t want her to get in trouble because of him. Finally she blinks at him and starts walking away, but she keeps glancing back until she’s out of sight.

He tries to focus on the voices. They still sound like they’re really far away but he can make out words now.

“… Can’t let them take over Raphael’s territory. You know that Gabriel!” Lucifer says. He sounds angry. “And I’m sorry but I still don’t understand what Cas is doing here.”

“I’ve been working on those murders, I don’t see why I couldn’t be here.” Castiel answers.

“This doesn’t concern you!” Lucifer answers. “Or maybe Gabe indulges you so much you forgot your rank, boy?”

There’s a silence, then the noise of someone filling a glass.

“You can talk in front of Cas, Luci.” Gabriel says. He sounds like he’s tired. “I trust him.”

“I don’t! And there’s something I need to talk to you about. In private.”

Gabriel sighs. “Cas is staying.”

Dean wishes he could see what’s happening. But he doesn’t dare pushing the door. He’s scared enough as it is. He can hear his blood pumping in his body and he’s slightly shaking, but this is worth it.

Nobody speaks for a while, Dean imagines they’re having a staring contest. Then Lucifer speaks again.

“Right then. I want to take over Raphael’s land. We can’t let a stranger get a hold of it. And it’s adjacent to my own district, it’ll be easier to keep an eye on it that way.”

Another beat of silence.

“Why would you take over it? I mean I get that you don’t want someone we don’t really know taking over but… Why you, specifically? If someone should rule the district it’s Michael. He’s the oldest.”

“I don’t want it.” Michael says, a bit too fast.

Dean almost forgot he was here too.

 “Maybe Gabriel wants to claim it too. Did you think about that?” Castiel asks.

Oh, he sounds pissed too. Dean likes the guy. He’s a bit out of it sometimes but he’s fair. That a rare trait to find in an angel.

“You know I don’t…” Gabriel says. “But I’m not sure… Lucifer, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

Lucifer laughs.

“Listen to Lucifer, Gabriel.” Michael says, quietly. “He can do it. He can offer us-“

“shhh!” Lucifer interrupts him.

There’s no noise anymore. They stopped talking and Dean tries to lean as close to the door as he can, when suddenly he’s pulled by an invisible force and he lands violently on all fours in the middle of the living room.

He’s staring at the rug under his hands and he doesn’t dare look up. Shit. He’s so fucked. Shit!!

“Look at what we have here!” Lucifer exclaims.

Dean feels the angel’s hand take a fistful of his hair and pull his head back. Michael and Gabriel are sitting on the couch and Castiel is on the big armchair on the right. Gabriel is staring at Dean like he’s not sure what he’s seeing is real. Then his eyes widen and he only looks scared. Dean doesn’t feel anything though. He can’t. His brain can’t catch up with the enormity of the situation.

“It’s not what it looks like!” He tries.

Gabriel looks up at Lucifer and then back at Dean before he opens his mouth.

“Dean, just-“

“No!” Lucifer interrupts.

Dean can’t see his face but he sounds mad.

“You were spying on us.”

“No. No, I wasn’t I-“ He yelps when Lucifer pulls on his hair again.

He’s strong. So strong Dean feels like he’s going to scalp him if he keeps pulling like that.

“Don’t you dare lie to me!”

Okay then, wrong strategy. Dean is half standing on his knees now and he feels like his head in on fire because Lucifer keeps pulling on his hair.

“I’m sorry, Master!” He answers.

Because that’s the thing a good slave would say, right? He doesn’t know how to behave with that guy. He doesn’t know how to behave in that situation actually. He knows it’s his fault and Bobby was right. But it would have only been Gabriel or Castiel or both maybe he would have gotten punished, locked up in the basements possibly or something like that. Nothing too bad though. He’s not even sure they would have punished him at all, and he’s pretty sure the little cells in the basements haven’t been used in decades anyway. With Lucifer he knows it’s probably going to end up bloody. He’s so stupid. He should have just asked Gabriel afterwards.

But who is he kidding, really? Even if he had known if would end up in this situation he would have done the same thing. It occurs to him that if he gets killed now, Sam is gonna be real pissed. He almost wants to laugh at the thought. He realizes he’s shaking and reality slowly dawns on him. Lucifer is going to hurt him and Gabriel is too much of a coward to do anything about it. He’s fucked because he couldn’t resist a bit of gossip. Well done, Winchester!

“You’re sorry? Is that it? What are you trying to do, uh? You’re not a hunter anymore, you scum! You can’t get out of here!” Lucifer goes on.

Nobody says anything. They let him talk and do as he pleases. Gabriel looks like he’s frozen in his seat. He’s looking up at Lucifer like he doesn’t really understand what’s happening.

“You thought you were going to spy on us and spill everything you learn to your little hunter friends? I don’t know what Gabriel tells you once he’s done fucking you but you’re never getting out of here, you hear me?”

“Lucifer-“ Gabriel starts.

His voice sounds a little bit more menacing than before but it’s still shaking. He’s sitting on the very edge of the couch like he wants to stand up but he’s not sure he can.

“No! How many of our secrets did you told him about that he feels the need to hear some more? It’s your fault too, you don’t know how to treat your slaves, I think it’s time I teach you both how it’s done!”

He lets go of Dean’s hair and Dean loses his balance and he almost falls, holding himself up with one hand.

“Get up!” Lucifer orders.

It’s better if he goes with everything the angel says, Dean thinks. Maybe he’ll hurt him just enough to make him regret it but he’ll let him go after all and Dean will just have to wait for Gabriel to heal him and everything will be fine.

Yeah, he can dream.

He stands up promptly and in the panic he almost trips on his feet. He takes the Stance and he waits. His stomach feels like it’s full of lead and his heart is beating so hard it hurts.

Lucifer walks around him, eyeing him like he’s a wild animal circling his prey. Dean doesn’t know where to look. He doesn’t want to see the expression on Michael’s face, and he doesn’t think he can look Castiel in the eyes after the other morning when he barged in on Gabriel and him so he looks at Gabriel and he keeps his eyes locked on him and it helps. It really does. Even if Gabriel doesn’t do anything – and Dean knows he’s going to be angry with the angel for that, but he’ll think about it later – it’s still reassuring to know he’ll be here to patch him up afterwards.

“Luci, don’t-“ Gabriel tries again.

But Lucifer turns to him and apparently a look is all he needs to silence his brother.

“Don’t you try to stop me, Gabriel, I’m warning you. Enough is enough. You know what he did, he deserves this. He deserve much worse.”

He turns to Dean again and stops, a sick smile on his face.

“And the first thing I’m going to teach you both is that a slave’s place…” He grabs a fistful of Dean’s hair again. “Is at his Master’s feet!” And he kicks him hard in the knee.

Dean can’t help but yell. The pain is sharp and it feels like it resonates in Dean’s entire body and his legs give up under the weight of it. He’s only aware of the softness of the rug under his hand and under his cheek and the pain in his knee. He thinks his kneecap moved somehow, it doesn’t feel like it is where it should be. He wants to look up, to find Gabriel’s eyes again but he can’t move. If he tries the pain gets worse. He can only look at the floor and whimper in pain.

“Stop it!” He hears Gabriel shout.

And there, he sounds angry. Dean doesn’t believe it can end well for either of them. If he had known he’d get Gabriel hurt too then maybe he wouldn’t have tried spying on them.

“Or what?” Lucifer answers, playful.

He steps on the back of Dean’s knee and stays there. Dean can’t help but cry out. It hurts too much, it hurts and he tries to get away but he can’t. He feels like his legs is on fire, being torn apart, it spreads to his thigh and his shin and he tries to get away from the angel because he can’t bear it, it’s too much, too much pain he just can’t take it anymore.

“Wow, Gabe, really?” Dean hears Lucifer say.

He sounds like he’s mocking Gabriel.

The weight of his foot lift off Dean’s knee. Dean let his forehead rest on the rug and he tries to catch his breath. His throat is on fire because he yelled too much and his cheeks are damp from the tears. He tries to look up, though. He wants to know what stopped Lucifer.

Gabriel is standing tall in front of his older Brother, his angel’s sword in hand. He looks pissed. Dean sees Castiel stand up slowly, almost carefully before he tries to approach the two.

“Gabriel, make sure you don’t do anything you might regret.” He just says.

Michael isn’t saying anything, he just looks at his brothers in turn like he’s not sure he wants to be here for this.

“Are you going to attack me, little brother?”

“Back off!” Gabriel just answers. “Dean’s mine, you don’t get to touch him.”

Lucifer blinks at him. He gives Dean a dubious look and then eyes his brother. Then he starts smiling like Gabriel just told him the best joke ever. Like he just understood something.

“I can’t believe it! Gabriel… Are you…” He starts laughing. “Are you in love? With a human? Really? Come on, you can’t be serious.”

Gabriel grits his teeth and he glances at Dean quickly, licking his lips.

“I mean, love is… Useless, in itself. But being in love with a human that’s just… disgraceful. At least Michael had the decency to fall in love with another angel. You disappoint me Gabe.”

Michael curls on himself and gives Dean a hurt look. So that’s what Castiel meant when he said Michael was ‘very attached to Ana’, uh… Dean keeps staring at them all. He can’t believe what’s happening. Gabriel is threatening Lucifer. That’s kind of crazy. Not crazier than Lucifer believing Gabriel is in love with Dean though. Dean doesn’t think it’s true. Gabriel just likes spending time with him. He just doesn’t get why he would defend him like this, against his own brother.

He would reflect on it a bit more if his knee wasn’t killing him. It’s getting unbearable, worse and worse as the minutes pass. He’s breathing hard now, trying to keep himself from crying. He wants to ask for help but he doesn’t want Lucifer to remember he’s here.

“You should go.” Gabriel says.

Dean sees he’s shaking, but the hand holding the blade is steady.

“You’re really choosing your slave over you own brother?” Lucifer asks.

The smile disappeared from his face and he looks disgusted now.

“I’m not choosing anything,” Gabriel answers. “I’m just tired of the way you act like everything belongs to you. Now you should leave. We can talk about the Council another time. I’ll come to your place.”

He’s trying to keep things together, but Dean sees Lucifer is having none of it. He simply doesn’t believe him. He smiles again.

“You know, someday you’ll come to regret this, Gabriel. I’ll forgive you, if you learn how to beg properly, of course. But it’s going to be very unpleasant for you. And then I’ll take care of your little spy.”

He glances at Dean and winks at him. Dean thinks he’s going to be sick.

“Come on Michael.” He says.

Michael stands up, looking exhausted. They both disappear at the same time, followed by the furious sound of wings.

Dean lets his head rest on the rug again. He can’t stand it anymore, he lets the tears flow because it hurts too much. He just wants it to stop, to faint, anything that would take the pain away. He closes his eyes.

He hears Gabriel footsteps hurrying toward him.

“Dean! For fuck’s sake, What were you thinking?! I can’t believe it, Heavens, you really want to die that much?!”

He’s probably kneeling close, Dean can hear it by the sound of his voice. He can’t answer. He hears Castiel coming closer too.

“You can chastise him later, Gabriel. He needs to be healed right now.”

“Sorry…” Dean manages in between sobs. “I’m sorry…”

It was a shitty idea, he knows it, everyone knows it because everyone warned him. He’s aware he should have stayed as far away from Lucifer as he could but he still doesn’t regret it. Now he knows what kind of douchebag Lucifer is. The kind that’s hungry for power. Dean knows those people are usually the more dangerous ones. It still didn’t help with the murders though. He was hoping he could have heard some things that Castiel hasn’t told him. He’s pretty sure the angel doesn’t tell him everything.

But right now he’s hurting and he regrets the way he did it. He should have gone with the tray thing. Would have been way easier and less painful.

“Alright, well…” Gabriel sounds a bit overwhelmed by everything. Dean feels the angel’s hand on his back. “It’s going to be okay, Dean, we’ll fix you right up, alright?”

Dean tries to nod but he feels dizzy and just trying to move his head make him want to throw up.

“We need to turn you over, Dean.” Castiel says.

“No! No! Don’t touch me, don’t-“

He can’t move, don’t they understand? But he feels strong hands slipping under his belly and he doesn’t have time to panic because Castiel is already turning him delicately but firmly on his back. A cry escapes his lips when his leg turns on its own as well, and it’s worse than everything he’s ever felt before.

He forces his eyes open and stare at the ceiling, letting the tears fall until he can see something again. Gabriel is kneeling next to his legs and he looks really pale. He’s staring at Dean’s legs, looking a bit stunned, until he finally grabs the fabric of Dean’s pants right under his injury and tears it apart.

Dean hears the sound of a belt being removed and he looks up at Castiel who’s standing over him. The angel crouches down and hands him the belt, pushing it in between Dean’s teeth.

“You’re going to need this. This is the unpleasant part.”

Dean has no choice but to bite on the belt, and he looks down at Gabriel again, eyes wide. What does he mean, ‘the unpleasant part’? Like everything wasn’t unpleasant enough already. Gabriel is staring at him, looking a bit lost. He lets out a shaky breath before he speaks again.

“I need to push everything back together, Dean, it’s going to hurt.”

Dean looks at the ceiling again. He’s a bit angry with himself. Why does he always have to be so curious? He’s sure the pain is some sort of punishment. It’s the universe trying to tell him he should quit snooping around.

“You’re ready?” Gabriel asks.

Dean is about to nod and he’s already bracing himself for the usual countdown but Gabriel’s hands are on him before he has time to say anything. It hurts so much he feels his teeth dig a hole in the leather of the belt. Something snaps, he feels it, he hears a big ‘clack!’ sound and his vision blackens. The pain is still here but it gets more bearable, even if he can feel his blood pumping under his knee, sending tides of pain along his leg.

“Dean?”

Gabriel’s voice sounds like it’s miles away. Or like Dean is hearing it form under water. He lets go of the belt and it falls on his chest.

“I don’t think he’s feeling very well.” Castiel says.

“I…” Dean tries. “I’m okay. I’m…“

His eyes feel so heavy. He’s going to puke. Gabriel is saying something but he can’t hear it. Everything goes black.

 


	8. Everything ends

He doesn’t know where he is at first. His knee hurts, that’s all he knows. It receded to a dull ache, and he doesn’t dare move. His eyes feel like they’re glued together, but he tries to force them open. He can’t see anything and they just close on their own.

“Dean?” He hears someone whisper on his right.

There’s a hand in his hair. He’s on a bed. The voice is familiar.

“Dean are you okay?”

It’s Gabriel. Gabriel’s here. Dean has a second of panic before he remembers Lucifer’s gone. Everything feels fuzzy. He thinks he’s going to throw up if he doesn’t open his eyes.

“Here…” Gabriel says.

He feels something against his lips and his first instinct is to get away from it.

“It’s just water Dean. Come on.”

Dean complies and drinks. The water is fresh and it makes the dizziness disappear slowly. Finally, he tries to open his eyes again and this time it works. Everything is just a little bit blurry. He’s lying on Gabriel’s bed. A fire is lit and there’s no light on. He pushes himself up as best as he can. His knee still hurts and he hisses in pain as his leg slides on the sheets.

“You’re so frustrating, Dean…” Gabriel mumbles as he makes him drink again. “I can ignore the fact that you disobeyed a direct order but trying to spy on us? I can’t believe you sometimes...”

He shakes his head and Dean sees he’s trying to be angry, maybe the little speech is more for him than for Dean but he doesn’t quite manages. When he looks up at Dean he can’t keep scowling for long. He looks more worried than anything else.

“What happened?” Dean breathes.

He can’t find his voice. He reaches for the water bottle again and Gabriel helps him drink.

“You fainted.” The angel says, forcing a frown.

Right. Awesome. Gabriel starts mumbling again.

“Cas says I should lock you up for a few days to teach you obedience. I’m not sure anything would work on you though. You don’t care about anybody but yourself. I should’ve known you’d pull something like that someday…”

Dean only half-listen to him. He looks down and sees his pants are missing. Someone bandaged his knee.

“You didn’t heal me?” He asks.

It doesn’t hurt as much, but he still feels pain throbbing lightly in his leg. Gabriel looks down on his knee, a defeated expression on his face.

“Luci put a bit of Grace in that kick… I did what I could but he’s stronger than me. I’m sorry Dean.”

He looks up into Dean’s eyes. Dean thinks he can detect a glint of shame there. He doesn’t answer though. He knows he shouldn’t have tried to spy on them but he’s still angry at Gabriel for letting his brother break his knee before trying to save his ass.

“You’re mad at me.” Gabriel states.

 _No shit, Sherlock_. Of course he’s mad. Maybe irrationally so, but he thinks he’s taken enough of Gabriel’s shit without saying anything, and this time he can’t just shrug it off.

“Well, that’s good because I’m mad at you too.” The angel grumbles.

Dean lies down again, turning his back to him. He doesn’t answer.

Gabriel sighs.

“Dean…” He trails off, probably not knowing what to say next.

Which proves Dean’s point, really. He doesn’t know what to say because he knows he can’t say anything that would make things better. Dean hears him move and he feels the angel lie down behind him, holding his body tight against Dean’s back. He lets his arm rest on Dean’s stomach, stroking him lightly with the tip of his fingers.

Dean lets him do it, because it feels reassuring, but he doesn’t move. They stay like this in silence for a while, until Dean can’t take it anymore.

“Why did you have to come here?” He asks, his voice barely a whisper. “The angels I mean. Why didn’t you just leave us alone?”

He’s so fed up with everything. Even the case just pisses him off now. If it wasn’t for all the angels, none of this would have happened. He’s tired, he just wants Sam to find something already so he can go back to his old life, gank a few monsters from time to time, and never set eyes on an angel ever again.

Gabriel doesn’t answer right away. He keeps stroking Dean’s stomach for a while before he lets out a breath.

“Some stuff happened.” He starts. “First there was the Jesus thing. You all think he’s that great loving guy, God personify and all that. But he wasn’t. He was a nephilim. A very powerful one.”

Dean frowns. He wasn’t actually expecting Gabriel to go into full story mode.

“A what?”

“A nephilim. A child born of the union between an angel and a human. They’re very powerful beings. And they usually get killed at birth because they’re dangerous. And Jesus, well… His mother knew that and she hid him well. Up until he turned thirty and decided he was going to use his mojo to fight the power in place in his country at the time. Overall it sounds good, but I can tell you it wasn’t. He actually went on a killing spree, decimating every person he didn’t deem worthy of living in his territory. They got him once, managed to bind his powers and they killed him. Or they thought they did anyway. But you know that part of the story, right?”

Dean nods.

“Anyways after a while we couldn’t just ignore him anymore because he was gaining followers and some of them were powerful witches too so we had to intervene. When he was dead we backed off, and we just kept watch. But the wars, Dean… If you had seen them you…”

His hand stops moving and he just holds Dean tight.

“I mean we couldn’t believe what humans were doing, and most of them were using the name of our Father to justify their actions and we couldn’t bear it. We tried to ask our Father, to pray to him because we didn’t know where he was. We still don’t actually. And the Archangels… We’re the oldest, you know? When Dad isn’t here we have to take over. And at some point… We decided we had to do something. So we came, we took over, cause you lot were just breaking the toy Dad gave you, and we couldn’t let you do that. We divided the world between us, giving each other parts, not equal in size but equal in power, and we started managing things. At first we didn’t enslave you. Slavery was reserved for criminals. I mean, prisons are useful for a while but then you start again, you always start again after your punishment is over. Taking freedom away from a human, that’s hard, yes, but that’s the only thing that works.”

Dean shifts a bit under Gabriel, he starts turning around a little, so he can see Gabriel’s face at least. The angel is not looking at him. He staring at his hand on Dean’s stomach.

“And then that little Hitler guy came along, telling people how unfair it was, how humans should take over because it was your land, and a lot of people fell for that. And you probably know the story, how he chose which humans were worth a spot in his perfect angel-free world, all the horrible things he did to the others… And that was it for us. It was too much.”

He finally looks up to Dean.

“He managed to kill thousands of people before one of us even heard of it and was able to do something about him and when we saw that, when we saw those camps we knew we just couldn’t let you walk around freely like this anymore. So we turned you into slaves, we hid the fact that we were the ones with the power, we just let you think it was God because nobody would think to rebel against him, we erased everything you knew about us from your history so it wouldn’t happen again and that was it. We freed some of you, still do, when we can see that your soul is pure and you deserve it. And you surprised us, actually. Because despite everything, this little part of humanity that’s free still managed to make great things, invent technologies we didn’t even think about, movies and music and lots of beautiful things too. That’s why we try to give the free men as much space as we can. But that’s it. You can’t function properly without us. When you’re all free you just fight against each other for petty things. And now you’re a criminal, so you’re a slave too. We kept the tradition. You’re lucky we don’t kill criminals like humans used to do. You can be very cruel toward each other.”

Dean turns around completely, one hand under his pillow and he stares at Gabriel for a while, trying to digest what he just told him.

“You really believe that.” He says. Gabriel looks confused. “You really believe we can’t function if you’re not around?”

“Yes, Dean. Of course I do. I was there, I’ve seen it. And what you tried to do today is another proof of that.”

Dean ignores the last part.

“You didn’t even give us a chance.”

“You had billions of years to figure things out on your own. Obviously we gave you too much. Don’t you see that?”

Dean sighs.

“Are you happy as a Master?” He asks instead of answering Gabriel’s question.

The angel is a bit taken aback. He blinks at Dean and Dean sees he tries to think about it.

“Yeah. Yes, I am. I don’t see why I wouldn’t be.”

Dean can’t help but run his hand on Gabriel’s chest, playing with the buttons of his shirt. He so used to it when they’re in bed like this.

“Don’t you feel a bit lonely sometimes? Isn’t it what I’m here for?”

Gabriel doesn’t answer. He stares back, surprised.

“I mean you spend an awful lot of time with us, even though we don’t speak with you that much. The others, they’re scared of you. Hell, even I am scared of you sometimes. When you’re with us we’re careful of everything we do or say. Doesn’t it bother you? You’re really happy being surrounded by people who fear you and just do things to please you?”

The angel stares at him like he just realized what Dean is telling him.

“You’re not like them.” He just says. “You say you’re scared but you still talk back to me like we’re BFFs.”

He smiles smugly, trying to make things lighter but Dean doesn’t smile back, he doesn’t move.

“You still order me around. You call me here, most of the time I have no idea what’s going to happen to me but I have to do what you tell me anyway, and I have to enjoy it or you’re not happy. It’s still the same thing. It’s not because I have a big mouth that I’m your friend. I’m your slave. I do what you tell me because I’m scared of what you’d do if someday I’d just say no.”

Gabriel’s smile falters.

“You…” He tries. “If you don’t like it of course you can tell me and I’d… I’d stop calling you. I wouldn’t hurt you. I’d find someone else, I-“

“It’s not that!” Dean interrupts, a bit angry. “I like it. I mean I like most of it. And I like _you_. It’s just that I’m always anxious before we start, and I never know when you’re going to want me, and it’s always about you. Can’t you see? You told me the other day you wanted to think about me a bit more, but it’s still all about you because you’re my Master and I’m your slave. Don’t you think it’d be better if humans were your equals? Just try to imagine for a second how it would be like if people around you talked to you like I’m talking to you now. We’re having a conversation. With the other, you’re not having conversations, you’re giving orders, you ask things, they answer stuff they think would please you. Imagine how it would be like if sometimes I’d just burst into your study because I’d feel like getting laid and I wouldn’t be scared of you sending me away because _you_ aren’t in the mood. Just try to imagine that. Don’t you think you’d be happier?”

Gabriel looks lost for a second before his expression hardens and he pushes himself away a little.

“Be careful how you speak to me, Dean.” He orders.

Dean just laughs unhappily. He’s so fed up with everything, he doesn’t even know why he bothers trying to make Gabriel understand that what he’s doing is wrong.

Dean sits himself up and turns his back on Gabriel again, slowly letting his legs slide on the sheets until he can put his feet on the floor.

“Alright.” He says. “Suit yourself.” He turns his head to look at Gabriel again. “I’m gonna go back to my quarters, with the other slaves, and I’ll leave you be, _Master_.” He spits the last word.

He can’t believe Gabriel. After everything, he still believes in all that bullshit. Even after he saw what was happening at Lucifer’s house. Dean can only imagine it, but Gabriel has seen it. And it’s so hard he doesn’t want to go back there. But he still goes with the slavery shit. Well, good for him.

Dean pushes himself up slowly, trying to hold his weight on his uninjured leg.

“Dean, wait.”

Dean starts limping toward the door. He keeps going as Gabriel calls his name again. He’s just a couple of feet away from the door when Gabriel appears out of nowhere in front of him.

“Don’t leave.” He says.

They’re uncomfortably close. Dean tries to step away. He doesn’t want to be that close to the angel because it just makes him want to touch him, put his arms around him and kiss him until they both forget what they were arguing about. But he can’t afford that right now. He can’t just let that slip. He needs to get away to make the angel understand he’s serious about this.

“Please!” Gabriel says again, grabbing his arm.

Dean looks up to him and he grits his jaws.

“Please, don’t go I…” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, okay? You’re right, Dean. I don’t… I mean, I can’t change things. I’m just one guy, I can’t…”

He huffs in frustration and he bends down toward Dean. He kisses him, almost furiously, and at first Dean doesn’t move because he wants it but he can’t let Gabriel think he won. But he just can’t help it. His own lips starts moving against Gabriel’s, almost on their own, and he really has to fight his own body to be able to push the angel away.

He looks down before he opens his mouth.

“Unless you’re planning to force yourself on me, please let me leave.”

“Dean I’m not… Just stay here tonight, I won’t do anything but you’re hurt, I wouldn’t feel good if you left. “

“Well I wouldn’t feel good sleeping here tonight, alright?!” He snaps, looking up again. “I’m just… I’m tired of all that shit. I can’t stand that bullshit slavery thing anymore, you get that? I’m tired of being scared all the time, I’m tired of being stuck here and I’m tired of having to do everything you tell me, okay? I don’t wanna be here right now so please, please let me have this, just this once because otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to respect you ever again. Just give me that one little bit of freedom and I’ll get back to being a good little boy for you tomorrow. I just need to be alone right now. Please, I need…” He trails off when he feels a tear slowly run down his cheek. “I’m just tired.”

He looks away. His hands are shaking and he feels like he’s too hot one second and too cold the next. The meeting with Lucifer hit him harder than he thought it would. He just wants some time alone. He needs to be away from everything angelic for a while.

Gabriel doesn’t say anything. He just lets go of Dean’s arm and steps aside. And Dean leaves, and he doesn’t look back. He can’t. He can’t take it anymore. He hopes Sam will come back soon.

~*~

 Dean keeps working, despite his injury. It’s harder, but he does it anyway. He knows if he stops, even for a second, he’ll have time to think about all this, and he’ll have time to wonder what Sam is doing and he can’t. It’s been two weeks since Lucifer broke his knee, and he feels a bit better now. It’s still a bit hard to walk, but the pain is reasonable since Gabriel fixed the broken part at least. He’s pretty sure that in another week or so it’ll be gone.

Gabriel hasn’t called him, and he’s glad about that. He thinks if he has to go back into the guy’s chambers he wouldn’t enjoy it anyway. He would do it, sure, but it would be forced. He’s pretty sure Gabriel knows that too. The angel even stopped trying to have little chats with everyone. Except for Jordan of course. She genuinely likes him, even if she’s still scared of him, she likes it when he’s around.

Today he spent his morning on the Impala. Maybe he shouldn’t have. He had to bend down and stand up and bend down again so many times his knee feels like it’s on fire. He limps back to the kitchen and sits heavily on a chair. Mrs. Herbert and Lisa are here. They’re cooking. Or at least they were and now Mrs. Herbert is setting a meal on a tray. Gabriel must be working in his study again then. She’s going to bring it to him instead of serving in the dining room.  

She turns to Dean, raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything and goes back to what she was doing. Lisa excuses herself, smiles at Dean and leaves. Mrs. Herbert doesn’t pay attention to him. And it’s fine with him, really. He knows she has stuff to do and he’s not in the mood to talk to anybody today.

Suddenly she starts coughing and Dean can hear by the noise her throat is making she must be really sick. She looks like she’s not able to stop so Dean gets up and grabs a glass, filling it with water and handing it to her.

He keeps his hand on her back until she calms down. She gives him an annoyed look.

“You okay there?” He asks.

She steps away. “I’m fine, don’t you have things to do?”

She turns his back on him and starts working again. Dean doesn’t know if he should call someone, Bobby maybe? She really looks pale, now that he’s really looking at her, and she’s slower than usual.

She starts coughing again and Dean can see she’s trying to hold it back.

“Okay, that’s enough.” He says, as commanding as he can.

He walks to her and pulls her by an arm.

“You’re going to bed.”

“I have work to do Dean, I need to bring that to-“

“I’ll do it, okay?” Dean interrupts her, taking the tray away from her. “I’ll tell him you’re too sick to work and if he says something I’ll tell him it’s all on me, alright?”

He stares at her, giving her his most serious look until she finally sighs and relent.

“Fine. But if I’m in trouble because of you, trust me boy, I’ll be on your back for the rest of your time here!”

She walks out furiously, and he can’t help but smile at that. She manages to look scary even in the state she’s in. She’s really something, he thinks.

But he realizes he told her he was going to bring Gabriel his food, and now he’s angry with himself. He’s so stupid. He’s been successfully avoiding the angel for two weeks and now he’s going to find himself face to face with him because of all this.

He stares at the tray full of food in front of him for a few seconds. Might as well do it as fast as he can. He takes the tray and carefully walks up to the study. When he arrives in front of the door he clear his throat and he knocks.

“Come in…” He hears.

Gabriel sounds distracted. Good. Maybe he won’t even notice it’s Dean bringing him food. Dean opens the door and walks in. He walks straight to the desk and puts the tray down on it.

“What are you doing here?” Gabriel asks to his back.

Dean sighs and turns around. Gabriel is sitting on the ground, surrounded by maps and books and he’s looking up at Dean, puzzled.

“Mrs. Herbert is sick, I told her to go lie down.”

Gabriel blinks at him.

“You… Told her? And she listened to you?”

Dean shrugs. “I didn’t give her a choice. You should maybe go check on her. I mean… At her age even a cold can be dangerous.”

Gabriel seems amazed and surprised and he lets out a little laugh.

“Yeah, I’ll do that.”

He keeps staring at Dean, looking a bit unsure of himself, and he runs a hand through his hair. Well, Dean has things to do so he should really get going. He starts limping back to the door when Gabriel speaks again.

“Eat with me.” He blurts out.

Dean stops and looks at him again.

“I mean, if you want to, you can… I’d be glad to… Share this with you.”

Dean doesn’t know what to say. It’s unexpected, to say the least. That would feel really weird, after what happened last time they spent some time with each other, but… He misses Gabriel. He knows he does. He’s just not ready to forgive him yet. So he doesn’t know if spending some non-sexy time with him would be a very good idea. He wants to say yes though.

“Nevermind…” The angel says after a while when he sees that Dean isn’t answering. “I just-“

“No, it’s okay. Okay, I’ll… I’ll stay.”

Gabriel smiles, relieved. “Good! Bring everything here then.”

He mentally curses himself. He shouldn’t have said yes. He’s so stupid sometimes… He walks back to the desk, grabs the tray and get as close to the angel as he can, but the maps are everywhere around him, taking all the space.

“What’s that all about?” He asks.

Gabriel seems to notice his things are in the way so he folds one of the biggest map, pushes some book aside and makes a bit of space until Dean can come closer and sit down in front of him, setting the tray in between them.

“I’m trying to help Cas but… I’m not too lucky so far. I tried going over everything, to see if we haven’t missed anything but I just can’t see any pattern to all those murders.” He looks down at a map of the country on his right and sighs. “I’ve spent all night on this and I just can’t see anything… Good news is, I think I can recite all the name of all the cities in the district by heart now.”

He looks up and smiles like he just made the best joke ever. Dean just glares at him.

“Anyway… Let’s eat. I’m starving. Just… I don’t know, dig in. They always make too much anyway.”

Dean crosses his legs and looks at the food. He’s not that hungry. His knee hurts, and he feels uncomfortable. He doesn’t know what to say.

“I think… We need to talk?” Gabriel says after a while.

Dean shrugs. He doesn’t want to talk, he knows there’s no use. He wishes he wasn’t attached to the angel so much. They’re so close to each other, he just wants to reached out and take him in his arms.

“If you think it’s necessary Master.” He answers.

Gabriel cocks his head on the side, looking a bit sad.

“Don’t call me that.”

Dean raises an eyebrow at him.

“What? Master? That’s what you are, ain’t it?”

He knows he sounds angry, because he is, he feels anger coming back suddenly, and he tries to hide it as best as he can. He’s in pain and he doesn’t want to argue today.

Gabriel sighs in frustration.

“I know you don’t like it, so… When we’re alone, just don’t, alright?”

“Okay.”

“I just… I had a chat with Cas again and… I want you to know that it doesn’t mean I’ll let you get away with what you did the other night but… I realize… Maybe if I want to keep you interested… I mean if I want us to be a thing then I need to make an effort and… Adapt to you, the way you adapted to me, you know?” The angel goes on.

Dean was about to try some ham but he freezes and he stares into Gabriel’s eyes, trying to see if he’s serious.

“You… Want us to be a thing? What does that mean?”

“It means you’re frustrating and wild and sometimes you just ignore what I tell you to do and I, uh… I like that about you. I’ve never had someone like you before, you know, and that’s weird. I don’t understand it but I want to… to build something with you. I don’t even know why. I know I got the sex part wrong, I know that, I’m working on that I just… It’s just that most of the time you piss me off but I like it? And I’m happy when I’m with you and I was so scared the other night when I saw… I… I don’t know how to say this, Dean, please say something, help me here.”

Dean just blinks a few times. He’s not sure he heard right. Gabriel is looking at him expectantly and he just can’t believe what he heard.

“You want us to… like, be together?”

“Right.”

“Not just… the sex part, but the whole relationship thing?”

Gabriel nods. “Yes.”

Dean scoffs. He can’t hold back the little smile that appears on his face.

“But you’re my Mas-“

“Please don’t say that again. I know. I know but it doesn’t have to be like this. Nobody would have to know about it if it doesn’t leave the house. We could just… Be ourselves here, and ask the others not to tell anyone and nobody would know.”

Dean really doesn’t know what to think about that.

“But I’d have to play the slave whenever somebody else comes here. And I’d still be locked here.”

_And anyway, Dean, you’re getting out of here soon._

“I mean, no offense but I don’t think it would work. I don’t want you to hope for nothing…” He adds.

It doesn’t seem to discourage Gabriel.

“I knew you’d be hard to convince so… It’s okay, you can take your time to think about it. I won’t pressure you. And I mean it. But maybe we could spend some time together. Like this. No sex, just… Talking you know? Like… Dates. If you want.”

This is just surreal. Dean just wants to kiss him to shut him up.

“I’d… Okay, I’ll think about it.”

Gabriel smiles. Dean doesn’t say anything as they eat. Gabriel speaks for them both, filling the silence with small talk and dumb jokes, and it starts feeling right again after a while. It’s so cruel of him to tell Dean this now. Now that he knows Sam is working to get him out. If it wasn’t for Sam… He would have been so happy about this. And he is now too, oddly, but he keeps repeating to himself that’s it’s not real, it’s not real and it’ll never be. Gabriel is a slave owner, his owner, and when Dean will escape from here Gabriel will hate him for it. They don’t have any future together.

He knows he can’t let it get to his head, but at the same time he’s thinking that if he’s about to leave and if Gabriel is going to hate him then maybe he should take advantage before he loses everything.

After about an hour, the tray is empty, so Gabriel makes it disappear with a wave of his hand, sending it back to the kitchen, and he sighs in contentment. He looks up at Dean and Dean stares back at him and he can’t hold it anymore. He crawls up to Gabriel, and he feels a sharp pain when his knee first touch the floor but he doesn’t pay it attention, and he plants a small, delicate kiss on the angel’s lips.

Gabriel huffs in surprise but he stays where he is, leaning back on his hands, and Dean keeps moving forward until he’s straddling Gabriel’s thighs and he kisses him again more passionately. Gabriel hums in his mouth, half laughing.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He whispers.

Dean cups his cheeks with both his hands and he keeps their mouths close together as he answers. He missed this. So much. He needs to touch him, he needs to be close.

“I missed you.”

He feels one of Gabriel’s hand on the back of his neck as he closes his eyes and kisses the angel again.

“Maybe we should take things slow.” Gabriel answers.

“Sorry, can’t help it.” He kisses him again and pulls back. “Sorry.” He can’t look into Gabriel’s eyes, there’s too much he can see there. He hides his face in Gabriel’s neck. “Sorry.” He whispers again.

Gabriel’s hand starts playing with his hair, and he feels some tension leaking out of his shoulders. He doesn’t know why he’s so tense. He just want to stay here in the angel’s arms forever. It’s warm and safe. He doesn’t want to leave.

He doesn’t want to leave.

He lets out a frustrated breath and he tries to calm down. He can feel tears coming and it’s stupid, really. He hasn’t heard about Sam in a while, he doesn’t know when he’ll leave so he shouldn’t react like this. It’s stupid.

“You okay?” The angel asks.

Dean nods. He’s good here. If he doesn’t move everything will be okay.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to… to do anything today, okay? We can wait a bit… And the SRM guy is coming back on Tuesday so maybe we could wait until that whole business is over to really get into that… uh, that relationship thing, okay? You don’t have to rush things to make me happy. I want us to be happy together. Not just me.”

Dean nods again. He’s not really listening because he feels a bit overwhelmed by everything. But something catches his attention. He straightens up.

“What did you say about the SRM guy?”

Gabriel is smiling reassuringly, his hand is still in Dean’s hair.

“He’s coming on Tuesday. At least this time he announced himself, and he took a proper appointment. I’ll ask one of the girls to take care of him if you don’t want to.”

Dean shakes his head no.

“No, it’s okay I can do it.”

“I don’t know. He looked like he liked Jessica a lot. I think she’d be happy to distract him. That guy is a bit of a pain.”

He can’t say no to that. He can’t tell him why he wants to spend some time with Sam.

“Okay.” He just says.

He’ll find some time to speak to his brother. He’s not worried about that. All of a sudden he feels dizzy. He can’t wait to be on Tuesday. He just needs to know what his brother found out, but at the same time if he really found a way out for Dean then that’s it.

“You’re okay, Dean?”

Dean tries to come back to the present, and he pushes himself away. He tries to sit as far as he can without looking like he’s trying to escape the angel. He feels so confused right now.

“Yes, yes I… Sorry. I just… I don’t think I can do this yet I…”

He stands up, careful of his knee. Gabriel is just frowning at him, looking a bit puzzled.

“Oookay?” He tries.

Dean huffs in frustration.

“I’m sorry but I’m still angry at you and I can’t- When I’m near you I can’t control myself so I should leave… I’ll just…”

“Alright, take your time.” Gabriel’s voice is careful, gentle. “We have all the time in the world, I can wait.”

Dean can’t help but laugh unhappily at that. The angel doesn’t know what he’s saying. How could he? Dean really needs to get out of the room. He was just starting to feel a bit better but he had to go and kiss the angel, and now he ruined everything. He just feels the anger coming back and he hates it, he hates the way it weighs heavily on his chest.

In three strides he’s at the door. He can’t turn back to see the angel’s face. He just can’t.

“I’m sorry I’ll… Just tell me when you want me to come see you.”

And he leaves.

~*~

He feels stupid about this for several days. He sees now that Gabriel is very careful around him, and he doesn’t know how to fix this. He wishes things were different, because he’s been thinking about the angel’s offer, and he thinks he would have liked that. After all, he knows he likes Gabriel, a lot more than he should. It’s not just the sex, he knows that, and he would have been so happy to get to know him a bit more, actually talk to him, spend some time with him outside the playroom, but he knows he can’t.

Today is Tuesday and Sam is coming back, he can’t allow himself to want something like this, because he knows that soon he’s going to leave. And it breaks his heart.

He forgets about it for a little while when he finally sees his brother an hour after he woke up. They ignore each other, Dean just nods politely when he sees him walk by him with Jessica, and he goes straight to the Impala after that. He can’t do anything else. At least the car will help him takes his mind off things. He knows by now, after more than 5 months, that he’s mostly here as a sex slave, that’s why Gabriel bought him, and if sometimes he takes a bit of time for himself nobody will blame him because he’s more like an extra pair of hands. They’re all enough for the tasks in the house. He’s basically a whore here, and he got used to it. Not that he likes it, but it doesn’t feel as shameful as it did when he first realized.

And so he works on his Baby and he waits. He’s a bit sad he’ll have to leave the car here. She’s probably never going to be repaired properly if he leaves. It’s a shame, she’s a beauty. He thought about bailing with it but it wouldn’t be really discreet, so he quickly abandoned the idea.

After what seems like a couple of hours, he hears a knock on the hood of the car and he gets out from inside of it where he was working on the back seats.

Jess is here, smiling at him, Sam behind her.

“Hey Dean!” She beams. “Sorry to interrupt but Mister Nugent here wants to talk to you. He’s seen everyone else so… You’re the last one.”

Dean puts on his best ‘i-was-in-the-middle-of-something-I’m-so-annoyed’ expression and sighs dramatically.

“Alright.”

“I’ll be in the house, probably in the dining room or the kitchen. Come to me when you’re done!”

“Thanks, Jess.” He says, smiling to her.

She winks at him, smiles shyly at Sam and leaves. Sam keeps staring at her until she disappears from view. Then he seems to remember himself and he turns to Dean, looking relieved. He puts on his serious face and Dean straightens up.

“I only took ten minutes to talk to the others so I have to make this quick.” He says.

Dean nods.

“Go ahead.”

“We have to do it tomorrow night.”

Dean freezes. Tomorrow night? He feels his heart suddenly beat faster. It’s too soon, he won’t have time to do anything, to… say goodbye? He needs more time he can’t-

“Dean?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, fine. Tomorrow. Why so soon? Didn’t you say you needed to check things out?”

Sam shakes his head ‘no’.

“I already did. At night mostly. It’s not as complicated as I feared and I found something to take the mark off your arm. It’s going to hurt a lot but…”

“Yeah, I get it, it’s okay.”

Dean sighs. He glances around, even if he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. He’s panicking a bit, he doesn’t even know why. But it’s real. He’s leaving. It’s happening.

“How are we doing this?” He asks when his eyes find Sammy again.

“You see the road at the very far end of the corn field. Right behind me?” Dean nods again. “You know where the force field is?”

“I think so… I’ve only been there once and I got burned.”

“There’s a… an old giant stump there, have you seen it before?”

“No, but I guess I’ll find it anyway. You want me to meet you there?”

“Yes. You need to be there around three. I noticed lights go out around one? Except for the light coming from the last floor, I’m guessing it’s the archangel’s room or something?”

“Yeah.” Dean answers.

Obviously, Gabriel doesn’t sleep on most nights. But he keeps himself occupied. Dean’s pretty sure he wouldn’t notice anything if Dean went out in the middle of the night.

“He won’t be a problem. I can be there at three, don’t worry. So what happens next?”

Sam sighs. “That’s the complicated part. I need to… basically I need to take the mark off your arm by… It’s hard to explain but I need to remove the archangel’s Grace he puts into your body with the mark. That’s why it’s painful. And then we leave.”

Okay, well. That’s a good plan. And he trusts Sam. He just can’t believe it’s going to happen so soon.

“Dean, you’re with me?”

Dean blinks and looks at his brother again.

“Yeah… Yes. I just… I can’t believe it’s happening.”

Sam laughs. “I know. I’m scared too, but we have to do it as fast as we can. And I know a guy who can help us with some papers for you and a new license plate for the car, and he’s only available tomorrow so… Once we’re out we go straight to him, we take the papers from him and we leave the state. The district too if we have to.”

Dean just looks at him, he doesn’t nod, he doesn’t say anything because really, what can he say? He feels tears coming to his eyes and he looks away.

“We should go back inside.” Sam says quietly.

“Right.”

They walk side by side, and Dean let himself be comforted by Sam’s presence for a moment, until he has to leave him with Jess again.

After Sam’s gone, every minute, every hours that passes feels like an eternity. He feels really anxious. He knows he shouldn’t, they’ve done some pretty dangerous things in their time, and this is not by far the worst they’ve attempted. Everyone will be asleep, the spell part is a bit hazardous but he trusts Sam, so really, he doesn’t have any reason to be nervous. Maybe it’s just because he’s rusty. He’s not used to danger anymore.

He tries to convince himself it’s just that, just stage fright, because the big night is coming and they only got one shot at this, but when everybody goes to sleep and he’s finally the only one still wide awake, he knows he can’t lie to himself anymore. He doesn’t want Gabriel to hate him. He knows the angel is going to. He promised he wouldn’t leave. He knows what they have isn’t perfect, after what Sam told him about Gabriel he became aware of all the little things Gabriel didn’t do right but he’s trying. That’s why he asked Dean for something more serious. Because Dean means something to him and knowing that hurts more than anything.

He feels tears coming to his eyes again and his breath quickens. He can’t help it. He’s still mad at Gabriel but knowing that he’s going to leave soon, he can almost forget it. He doesn’t want to leave with a grudge. He needs to see Gabriel now. Castiel is coming tomorrow and he’s going to take all of Gabriel’s time and Dean won’t have time to say goodbye. He needs to say goodbye, he needs to touch him one last time so he won’t regret anything. He needs to see Gabriel. Now.

He gets out of bed as discreetly as he can and as he makes his way through the mansion he feels the tears trying to come out, the lump in his throat getting bigger as he keeps repeating to himself that he needs to say goodbye properly or else he’s going to regret it for the rest of his life.

He knocks frantically on the playroom’s door, the feeling of urgency only expending inside his chest with every passing second. When Gabriel opens the door Dean can’t hold it anymore. A tear escapes him and slides slowly down his cheek. First Gabriel looks surprised, then he looks alarmed.

“Dean, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Dean doesn’t answer, he almost throws himself in Gabriel’s arms and kisses him with everything he’s got. Gabriel pushes him away, taken aback. He pulls Dean into the room and closes the door.

“What’s happening?” He asks again, his eyebrows furrowing in worry.

Dean lets out a shaky breath. Fuck, he needs an excuse. He just came here without thinking about it, he’s so stupid.

“I…” Speaking is difficult. He just want to curl into a ball and cry. “I had a nightmare I just…” He trails off.

Gabriel holds on to his arms and tries to find his eyes so Dean will look at him.

“Dean. Talk to me.”

Dean knows he needs to find an excuse because he needs Gabriel to fuck him right now so he can store every little detail of that evening in his mind. He needs to feel it one last time.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… I… I had to leave, in my dream I mean I had to leave this place because I had no choice, I had to, I really had to and you… You hated me for it. I know you wi- did. Please don’t hate me. I couldn’t stand it if you hated me I couldn’t…” He trails off again.

It’s like he can’t think straight, can’t finish a sentence because everything is too much. He can’t believe he’s actually crying like a baby over this, it’s so not his style, but he can’t help it. Gabriel is frowning and he pulls him close until he’s holding Dean tight against him.

“I wouldn’t never hate you, Dean.”

Dean can hear in his voice that he’s a bit puzzled about this. Dean can’t really blame him. Nobody just burst out crying like this because of a nightmare.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s stupid it’s just a dream I just…” He tries to calm down, tries to swallow back the tears. He takes a breath to calm himself down. “I’m sorry, I just needed to see you…” He whispers.

Gabriel pushes him away again and cups Dean’s cheeks with both his hands.

“Well I’m here. Tell me what you need.”

Dean swallows hard, and he stares into Gabriel’s eyes to see if it’s okay, to see if he can really ask for this because he really needs it, but he’s not sure Gabriel will give it to him after everything that happened between them.

“Make me forget.” He breathes. “Please.”

Gabriel doesn’t seem to understand at first but slowly his eyes widen and Dean sees he gets it.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea, Dean. I mean, the state of mind you’re in is not ideal for-“

“Please. I need it. Just… Just give me an hour or two and I’ll leave you alone. Please. I just wanna be with you for a while and forget about it. Please.”

Gabriel doesn’t answer. He stares at Dean like he’s looking for something that would explain all this. Dean takes a step forward and let their forehead touch. He closes his eyes.

“Please, Master.”

His whole body is shaking and he feels the tears coming back. He doesn’t want to cry, he really doesn’t. So he leans forward and puts his lips on Gabriel’s.

“Please Gabriel.” He tries.

The angel stands very still for a second, like he’s trying to hold back. Then he sighs against Dean’s mouth and he kisses back. Suddenly he grabs Dean’s neck and pulls him toward the bed, keeping their mouths locked together until he can push Dean on the mattress. When Dean lands he’s completely naked. He doesn’t have time to ask where his clothes disappeared to, because Gabriel is back on him, his mouth hot against Dean’s neck and Dean has to close his eyes for a second because it’s so good and he missed this so much, he wants to really focus and feel everything before it’s too late.

He opens his eyes again and he reaches above him to find the buttons of Gabriel’s shirt and he starts undoing them as fast as he can. Gabriel helps him, not using his mojo this time, pulling away quickly to take his shirt and t-shirt off and finally Dean can run his hand on his bare skin and he doesn’t lose one second more. He sits up and licks at Gabriel’s collarbone, going down until he finds his nipple and he sucks on it hard. He only pulls away when Gabriel hisses and he kisses his way up again, finding Gabriel’s mouth.

The angel stops moving suddenly and he pulls away, looking at Dean, concern still visible on his face. He licks his lips before he opens his mouth.

“Dean, are you sure you want this?”

He really has no idea how much Dean _needs_ this.

“Yes. Please.” He sounds so desperate, he almost wants to laugh at himself.

Gabriel huffs and his hands find the back of Dean’s neck and strokes it lightly.

“You’re so confusing sometimes, you now that?”

He smiles sweetly and Dean kisses him again.

“I’m sorry… I try to be what you want me to be but I can’t…” His voice breaks and he shuts up.

He doesn’t want to cry again. Gabriel cups his chin with his free hand and runs his thumb on Dean’s cheek.

“Hey. It’s okay, I don’t mind it. That’s what I like about you, remember?”

Dean nods. Yes, he knows and it hurts.

“Please…” He says again.

If they keep talking he’s going to cry and really, he already feels like shit, he doesn’t want to break down in front of Gabriel.

Gabriel grabs a fistful of Dean’s hair and tugs on it gently to expose his neck. He slowly kisses Dean here going up all the way to his jaw, nibbling at his lower lip until it stings a little bit and finally kissing his mouth again, pushing his tongue in Dean’s mouth almost forcefully and Dean finally feels his muscles relax a bit as he kisses back.

Gabriel pushes him down until Dean’s head hit a pillow and he let’s go of Dean’s mouth, kissing his cheek, his nose, his forehead. With a sigh he holds Dean’s chin up and waits until Dean is looking into his eyes.

“Do you trust me?” He asks.

Dean nods. “Yes.” He whispers.

“And you know I trust you, right?”

Dean nods again. Gabriel bends down and gives him another kiss. When he pulls away he sits on Dean’s hips, legs on either side of them.

“Hands above your head, hold your wrist with your hand.” Gabriel orders.

Dean obeys, raising his arms, letting them rest above his head and he slowly feels the lump in his throat going away. He’s so relieved Gabriel is giving him this. He keeps his eyes wide open, staring at Gabriel, at his eyes, noticing the way his mouth twists while he’s thinking about what to do next, the way his chest rises when he takes one last breath before he straightens up and his face becomes unreadable. He observes everything so that he can keep all of this in mind. He doesn’t want to miss any detail.

“Whatever I do, I want you to stay still. If you move I’ll stop, you understand?”

Dean has a moment of hesitation but it’s mostly because he’s surprised.

“You’re not going to tie me up?” He asks.

He barely dares a whisper though. He doesn’t want to break the mood.

“You’re upset. It wouldn’t be safe. You get that?”

Dean nods. But he’s a bit disappointed. Tonight he needs Gabriel to take over and stops him from thinking about everything and he thought maybe using a rope or two would help achieve that. Gabriel is probably seeing the disappointment in his eyes because he seems to think about something before he speaks again.

“Do you want me to use a gag?” He asks, his voice low.

Dean feels his guts twist in anticipation as the words leave Gabriel’s mouth.

“Yes.”

“Is that how you ask me for something, Dean?”

Dean has to use all his will power not to wriggle under Gabriel’s weight. He takes a shaky breath.

“Please Master.”

He’s completely focused on Gabriel now. He’s pushed all the thoughts about Sam and his escape in the back of his mind and he feels more than ready.

Gabriel extends his arm and suddenly he’s holding a gag. Completely black, made of leather from what Dean can see. With a ball in the middle for the mouth. It’s not as big as Dean would have thought, and the last fears he could have had about this just fly away. He lets out a breath and looks up to Gabriel.

“Are you sure?”

Dean nods.

“Yes Master.”  

Gabriel leans forward and present the gag to him.

“Bite into the ball.” He just says.

Dean opens his mouth and does as instructed. At first it’s weird, it’s still big, and he tries to settle his mouth around it, but it feels like there’s no space for his tongue anymore. He lift his head a little so that Gabriel can tie the thing. When Gabriel is done he sits back and just looks at Dean, waiting. Dean still doesn’t know where to put his tongue. The taste of the ball invades his mouth, but it’s not unpleasant. He has trouble breathing only through his nose at first, with his mouth opened wide like this, but he focuses on it and after a few seconds he manages and he repositions his head, trying to relax.

“Are you okay?” Gabriel asks.

Dean nods. He can’t talk, and he finds that oddly liberating.

“Now I’m not going to be looking at you all the time so we’re going to set a code.” Gabriel goes on. “Can you knock on the headboard?”

His hands are almost pressed against it, Gabriel can see that. But he nods anyway.

“Do it. Show me.”

Dean knocks once with his left hand. His right hand is holding his left wrist, but he can still move his other hand.  

“Good. If you need to answer me, you’ll knock once for yes, two for no, and three if something’s wrong and you want me to stop, are we clear?”

Dean nods. Gabriel raises an eyebrow and he remembers he has to answer with the knocks. He hits the headboard once.

“Once again. What’s ‘yes’?”

Dean knocks once.

“No?”

Dean knocks twice.

“And if you want to stop?”

Dean knocks three times. He’s pretty sure he won’t have to use that one anyway.

“Do you need to stop?”

Dean knocks twice. No, he doesn’t want to stop. He doesn’t even try to think about all the questions Gabriel is asking him, he just answers. He wants to get to the good part as quick as possible. He feels saliva starting to gather in the corner of his mouth, under his tongue, and he tries to swallow. It’s difficult but he’s still not too inconvenienced so far.

“Remember,” Gabriel whispers, leaning over so he can plant a small kiss on Dean’s neck. “Don’t move or I’ll stop.”

Dean knocks once.

With one of his hand Gabriel pushes Dean’s thighs apart and he settles in between them. The fabric of his pants is barely touching Dean’s dick, and it tickles a bit, but he doesn’t move. Gabriel keeps kissing his neck, and he slowly goes down. On Dean’s collarbone, on the top of his chest, until he plants a small kiss next to his right nipple. Dean lets out a breath. He wants to gasp but he can’t because of the gag.

“If you move…” Gabriel starts again. “Once, I’ll stop for five seconds. Twice, I’ll stop for ten seconds. A third time and I’ll stop for fifteen seconds. You won’t get another chance after that because I’ll stop everything if you move a fourth time. Do I make myself clear?”

Dean can feel his breath on his skin, right next to his nipple and he wishes Gabriel could put his tongue on the little bit of flesh there. He knocks once to answer the question. Gabriel hums against his skin and moves on the left to play around the nipple there, always without touching it.

Dean feels like his skin is on fire already. And Gabriel hasn’t even done anything. Just having to stay still, to restraint himself all on his own, it’s overwhelming. Gabriel moves on his side, letting just the tip of his tongue graze the skin over Dean’s ribs and Dean has to hold his breath. It tickles. Like, a lot. He tries to take big breaths out of his nose and he manages to stay still for about three second before his whole body jerks and he almost reaches down to push Gabriel away. Almost. At least he keeps his hands above his head.

He wants to say ‘sorry’ but he only manages a weak moan. Gabriel pulls away and quirks an eyebrow.

“One.”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“Two.”

Okay, Dean gets it.

“Three.”

He fucked up.

“Four.”

He takes another breath, willing his heart to slow down.

“Five.”

Gabriel bends down again, keeping his eyes locked onto Dean’s and he let his lips slide on the same bit of skin. It tickles even more than before since Dean was waiting for it, and he tightens his whole torso to prevent himself from moving. Gabriel finally looks away as he comes back to Dean’s chest and Dean tries to sigh in relief, but the gag prevents him. Gabriel keeps kissing him, sometimes using his tongue, sucking on the skin until it stings a bit and then he moves down. He takes his time on Dean’s stomach, and Dean is breathing faster now and he can’t stop.

When Gabriel reaches his belly button he starts holding his breath, only letting it out when he starts feeling dizzy.

“Dean, Breathe.” Gabriel says, looking up.

He plants a series of kisses on Dean’s lower belly until he reaches the point where thigh meets hip. It fucking tickles like hell and Dean feels his abs tightens in anticipation when Gabriel lift his head up again. He tries to bring his breathing back to normal.

“Are you okay?”

It takes Dean a couple of seconds to remember the code. He knocks once. _Yes_.

“What’s the code for when you want to stop?” Gabriel ask again.

He kisses Dean’s hipbone. Dean knocks three times.

“Good. Do you need me to stop?”

He comes back to the ticklish bit of skin right above Dean’s dick. He doesn’t touch it, he just give a small lick next to Dean’s shaft. Dean knocks twice. _No. Please, don’t stop_. He’s so hard now he can feel the blood pulse through his dick. He just wants Gabriel to touch him, to put his mouth on him already.

His whole body is tightening with the effort of preventing himself from moving because he wants something to happen and he doesn’t want Gabriel to stop. And with the gag he can’t apologize if he does. He’s starting to sweat a bit but he doesn’t care, he keeps his eyes locked onto Gabriel’s face to see where he’s going to go next.

The angel only goes further down, licking at the skin inside his thigh, so close to his balls it’s almost unbearable. Then he keeps going down until he reaches Dean’s knee and he lifts both of his knees up until his heels are almost touching his butt.

“Stay like this.” He says.

He climbs up Dean’s body and drops small kisses on his neck, and he starts going down again, following the same path as before. Dean is hyperaware of every touch now, and he’s eagerly waiting for each and every one of them. When Gabriel gets near his right nipple again, he feels dizzy with how much he wants the angel to lick it, suck on it already. Both his nipples are pointing right up, and it feels like they’re full of blood too and if only Gabriel could touch them he’s pretty sure he could come only from this.

When Gabriel’s mouth hovers over it he holds his breath. But the angel moves on and kiss the bit of skin right next to it. It’s a torture. He can feel his blood pumping in his whole body now, and he wants to move, he so wants to move but he doesn’t want the game to stop. He lets a shaky breath out of his nose, but he doesn’t have time to finish it because Gabriel’s tongue his finally on his nipple, just the tip of his tongue moving around it almost playfully and Dean tries to gasp. He only manages to take a weak breath and he almost chokes when his reflexes take over and he tries to breathe through his mouth.

“Remember to breathe, Dean.” Gabriel says.

He takes Dean’s nipple in his mouth and starts to suck, hard, and Dean can’t help it, he arches his back and he lets out a long, muffled moan.

Gabriel pulls away and gives him an amused look.

“One.”

Oh, come on! He didn’t move that much!

“Two. Three.”

It felt so good, so, so good and now he’s probably going to start all over again.

“Four.” Gabriel starts smiling as he sees the expression on Dean’s face. “Five. You did this to yourself Dean. Six.”

Dean can only huff at that.

“Seven.”

Dean gets his breathing back to normal.

“Eight.”

He tries to calm down, relax his muscles.

“Nine. And Ten. You’re wasting those chances away, you know that?”

Dean rolls his eyes. It’s not like he does it on purpose. Having to restrain himself like this, with no rope or cuffs or anything to help, it’s hard. And it’s even more exciting than anything they’ve done before.

Gabriel chuckles and he bends down again and luckily for Dean he doesn’t start teasing again, he moves onto the left nipple and he gives it the same treatment he gave the right one. Dean sighs in relief. It feels so good he doesn’t want it to stop. At the same time he would like it very much if Gabriel could put his tongue to use on other parts of his body.

And Dean barely has time to think this that Gabriel is already moving down and he has more and more trouble holding back his excitement. His jaw is starting to hurt because he’s biting on to the ball really hard, so he tries to relax his whole face. But Gabriel is back to the ticklish part of his body right next to his hipbone and he can’t help but tense again. The angel drops small kisses there, then on the inside of his thigh, going lower and lower which each kiss.

“You’re allowed to come.” He starts. And Dean feels his heart jump in his chest. “But only if you promise not to move. If you do, I’ll have to stop, even if you’re in the middle of an orgasm.” He looks up to Dean. “Do you understand?”

Dean’s eyebrows furrow in anguish, almost against his will. But he knocks once on the headboard.

“You’re only allowed to move if I’m inside you. And I don’t mean my fingers, or my tongue. Are we clear?”

Dean knocks once again. He’ll just hold it then. He can do that, right? He’s used to it. Gabriel keeps kissing his way down, on Dean’s right thigh, until he reaches his butt cheek, then he just grazes Dean’s sack with his lips and moves on to the other thigh, going up until he gets to Dean’s left knee. Dean feels his lower body clench and he makes an effort to relax again, breathing steadily through his nose.

Gabriel goes down again, and Dean wonders how long he’s gonna keep doing this. He’s close to Dean’s hole again and this time he just stops right there, and Dean waits, and his hole clench in anticipation. He’s starting to breathe faster again, he can’t help it. Gabriel just blows a bit of air on his skin and Dean suddenly feels like he’s on fire. There’s a great wave of heat coming from the pit of his stomach right up to his face and he feels sweat slowly dripping from his temples. He lets out a whine.

Gabriel moves and kisses the inside of his thigh again. Dean lets out a frustrated huff. Gabriel chuckles.

And suddenly there’s a very hot, very wet tongue on his hole and he almost arches his back again but he stops himself at the last moment. Gabriel’s tongue moves mercilessly fast on his skin and it draw a long, pained moan out of Dean. He wants to spread his thighs, to reach down and run his hands through Gabriel’s hair but he can’t. _God!_ He wants to say. _Gabriel!_ But it comes out as muffled groans because of the gag and he feels helpless. It’s good, though. It’s exactly what he wanted and more and he’s so grateful to Gabriel for this he feels a tear of relief roll slowly down his cheek.

He feels his pleasure growing incredibly fast and he’s suddenly not so sure he’ll be able to hold it anymore. He knows Gabriel is doing it on purpose. He can’t focus on anything else though, it’s too good and too hot. Gabriel drags his tongue up, going over the sensitive skin of Dean’s sack, up to the tip of his shaft and he goes down again to lap at Dean’s hole. Dean can only let out small whimpers muffled by the gag now. He manages to keep still, he doesn’t know how. He wants more. So much more, it’s unbearable. He groans when he feels a finger pushing at his hole as Gabriel keeps going with his tongue and he feels the first wave of overwhelming pleasure that precedesan orgasm washing over his whole body.

Gabriel pushes another finger in with the first, pushing his tongue in between them as far it’ll go, and Dean has to close his eyes or else he knows he’s going to lose his focus. Gabriel goes up again, wrapping his lips around Dean’s shaft and moving his fingers following the rhythm of his mouth. Dean knows he won’t be able to take it for long. His thighs are shaking, he’s sweating and he feels the little bursts of pleasure going up his spine, more and more powerful each time. He feels his orgasm grow in the pit of his stomach and it’s good, it’s so good he gives up on the idea of trying to hold it. He lets it grow and grow until it’s about to explode.

Gabriel’s fingers find the sweet spot inside of him and he’s just gone. He feels pleasure invading every cell of his body and he hears he’s making a lot of noise but he doesn’t care.

But suddenly Gabriel pulls away entirely and the pleasure disappears, and he tries to protest because he wasn’t done, he was in the middle of it and the orgasm faded away before it had time to burst.

He opens his eyes and looks down.

“One.” Gabriel says.

And he’s smirking.

“Two.”

Dean realizes he let his thighs fall open and he mentally slaps himself.

“Three. Four.” Gabriel sighs when Dean gives him a pleading look. “Five. Sorry Dean, the rules are the rules. Six.”

He feels like his whole body is going cold. He wants Gabriel to touch him again.

“Seven”

And quick.

“Eight”

And now he doesn’t have any more chances.

“Nine. Ten.”  

Gabriel starts to crawl up Dean’s body again.

“Eleven.”

Dean stares at him and he waits.

“Twelve.”

He tightens his grip on his own wrist.

“Thirteen.”

Their faces are leveled now and Gabriel is just smiling at him.

“Fourteen.”

Dean takes a breath through his nose and lets it out slowly.

“Fifteen.”

And Gabriel’s hand goes down, pushing two lubed fingers inside of him again and he huffs in relief. He opens Dean gently, still staring into his eyes.

“If you move again now I’m going to be really disappointed.” He half-laughs.

Dean hears he’s a bit out of breath, like it’s getting hard to control himself. Dean tries to stay very still. Gabriel pushes a third finger inside. He’s getting impatient, Dean can tell. He feel a surge of  pride just looking at the way Gabriel’s cheeks get a little pink when he looks down on his hand. Dean moans again when Gabriel moves it in and out of him. He wants more.  

Gabriel drops a kiss on his forehead, then on his nose and he buries his face in Dean’s neck and removes his fingers. He settles himself in between Dean’s legs and suddenly Dean feels naked skin on his lower body. He laughs a bit at that, still a bit amazed at how lazy this whole angelic-unclothing technique is. Gabriel huffs in his neck too but he doesn’t lose a second more. Dean feels the head of the angel’s cock at his entrance and Gabriel pushes in, slowly, until he’s all the way in and he pauses.

“You can move now.” He whispers in Dean’s ear.

He starts moving and Dean spread his thighs as far as he can. He lets go of his wrist and let his arms rest on Gabriel’s back, holding onto him tight as the angel starts moving again. He wraps one of his leg around Gabriel’s hips, drawing a moan out of him. It makes Dean’s lower stomach jump with pleasure. He forgot about the gag for a few seconds until he realizes he’s struggling to breathe and he tries to focus again.

One of Gabriel’s hand slides under his back and lifts him up until they’re both sitting, Gabriel on the bed and Dean in the angel’s lap. They stop moving for a minute. Gabriel is deep into him in this position and he starts panting. Dean stares at him, giving him a questioning look, to see if he’s okay or not. Gabriel looks back and a smile graces his face when his eyes find Dean’s. He takes one big breath through his nose.

“Fuck it!” He exclaims.

And Dean feels one of his hand behind his head fumbling with the buckle of the gag. If Dean could talk he’d tell him to use his mojo but he can’t, so he just waits. Gabriel removes the gag and throws it on the ground.

“There, better.” He breathes.

He leans down and gives Dean a desperate kiss as he starts moving his hips, one hand on Dean’s ass, holding him up a little, the other in Dean’s hair. Dean kisses back, bracing himself with one foot firmly planted on the mattress, the other still wrapped around Gabriel’s waist and he tries to moves in sync with the angel. It’s amazing. He’s overwhelmed by how intimate it all feels. A chill runs up his arms, leaving goose bumps in its wake. The pleasure is coming back quickly, building inside of his lower belly, twirling around, going up his body and making him gasp in Gabriel’s mouth.

He wants to cry again because that’s it, that’s what he’s going to lose when he’ll leave, and just thinking about it make his stomach twist unpleasantly. He pushes the thought away and focuses on Gabriel’s mouth on his, on his hand in Dean’s hair, on their hips moving together. He holds Gabriel as tight as he can and he let their forehead rest against each other as he breaks the kiss to take a breath. They’re both panting hard now, and when he hears Gabriel moan he kisses him again, swallowing every sound he’s making as he gets closer to his climax. Dean is close too, but it’s so good he doesn’t want it to end so soon and so he holds the ball of pleasure back, he doesn’t let it expand right away. He just tries to enjoy feeling Gabriel’s skin against his own, their body sliding together in perfect rhythm, Gabriel’s breath against his mouth.  

Gabriel lets go of his hair and Dean feels his hand go down until it reaches between them both. Dean closes his eyes as Gabriel’s hand closes on his shaft and the angel starts stroking. Dean lets out a breath and his rhythm falters for a second. But he keeps going because Gabriel is getting noisy and it sounds like music to Dean’s ears. Finally Gabriel freezes and Dean hears he holds his breath and he feels him coming inside of him. He keeps stroking Dean though, and Dean lets his pleasure grow and his orgasm hits him suddenly, it almost surprises him that he can come like this, just thinking about it. He keeps moving as he’s assaulted by the familiar waves of pleasure and he hears Gabriel gasp. When it’s over he keeps rolling his hips around because it’s good and it makes Gabriel’s grip tighten on his ass.

“Dean, Dean, please just-“ He hisses. “Stop moving.”

Dean lets his weight rest in Gabriel’s lap and he chuckles. He nuzzles his face in Gabriel’s neck, keeping a tight hold around the angel and they stay like this for a while without talking. Gabriel lets his hand run along Dean’s back. It feels good. Dean doesn’t want it to stop. He wants this, all the time, every day. But he knows he can’t have it so he just tries to enjoy it while it lasts.

“You’re feeling better?” Gabriel asks after a moment.

“A little, yeah.” Dean answers quietly. “Sorry about that.”

Gabriel’s hand is in his hair again.

“Don’t apologize. It happens.” He sighs. “I’m guessing it has something to do with the SRM guy?”

Dean’s heart misses a beat before his brain catches up with what Gabriel is actually saying.

“Yeah.” He just says.

It’s better if Gabriel thinks that seeing a free man made Dean freak out. At least it’s a good excuse. Maybe it’ll make things easier for when he’ll realize Dean is gone.

“You know they don’t have any power, right? They can’t take you away from here. Not against your will at least.”

“I know.”

There’s another beat of silence. Dean starts playing with Gabriel’s hair, on the back of his neck. It’s soft, and he wonders how he spent all this time with Gabriel and never took the time to play with his hair before.

Suddenly Gabriel takes a breath, and at first Dean thinks it’s just because of what he’s doing to his hair but the angel clears his throat like he’s uncomfortable.

“You know Dean, what… What Luci said the other day…”

Dean heart starts beating faster and he closes his eyes because he can feel the tears coming back.

“Please don’t.”                                                                                                    

He’s not sure what Gabriel is trying to say but he has an idea and if the words leave the angel’s mouth it’s gonna be the end of him.

“I don’t mean what he said to you… I… I mean what he said about me, how he said I was in l-“

“I know what you mean. Just, not tonight, okay?”

He feels a lump forming in his throat, even though he can’t know what Gabriel is going to say. Maybe he just wants to tell Dean ‘you know when my brother thought I was falling in love with you? Totally not true, dude!’. But the rational part of his brain is telling him that if it wasn’t true, if it wasn’t important he wouldn’t even bring it up. And Dean absolutely cannot hear this right now.

Gabriel pushes against Dean’s chest until they can look into each other’s eyes. He’s frowning.

“Why?”

Dean can’t cry again. If he does he’s going to give himself away. He huffs a laugh.

“I’m all emotional today. I mean, I already had my girly moment when I decided to come see you so I think one a day is enough.”

He forces a smile on his face and finally Gabriel smiles back.

“You need to get over that, Dean.” He says, smirking. “There’s nothing girly about what we do. And there’s certainly nothing girly about you.”

Dean looks down, feigning a laugh. He tries to swallow back the tears.

“I know.”

He looks up again. Gabriel still has that look on his face that means he really wants to talk about feelings. Dean needs to distract him until he forgets about it. He decides to kiss Gabriel. If he can’t use his mouth he won’t be able to talk. He starts moving his hips around again and Gabriel hums in his mouth. He keeps going until he feels that Gabriel is back to full hardness inside of him.

“Can we do that again until I’m not so sad anymore?” He whispers against Gabriel mouth.

Gabriel nods.

“Sure.” He breathes.

And Dean knows he’s already lost in sensations. And if he has to keep doing that until Gabriel forgets, then so be it.

~*~

Dean wakes up in Gabriel’s arms. He feels Gabriel’s hand is playing with his hair and he sighs. It’s good, everything is perfect. But then he remembers what’s going to happen tonight and it feels like someone punched him in the guts.

“Hey.” Gabriel says.

He raises his head and looks at the angel.

“Hey.” He answers.

He tries not to be sad. It’s probably his last moment with Gabriel, he needs to really enjoy it, so he won’t have a bad memory of all this.

“You know, I was thinking…” Gabriel starts. And he sounds cheerful, relaxed. “When we’ll have everything sorted out… I mean, you know, when we’ll be both okay with that relationship thing, maybe you could… You know, sleep here. Every night? I think that would be nice.”

Dean rests his head against Gabriel’s chest. He tries not to tense at the words.

“Sure.”

He can’t take this. Gabriel sounds so happy, it breaks his heart.

“No to pressure you or anything. I know last night was just because you were upset and we still have some issues to resolve. I still want to do things right but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I just… I would like that.”

Dean clear his throat to try and swallow back the tears.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“Good.”

Dean can hear the smile in his voice. He closes his eyes and wraps an arm around Gabriel’s torso. Gabriel yawns.

“Uh, now that you’re up… I don’t want you to feel like I’m throwing you out but Cas is going to be here any minute now so if you don’t want him to see you naked again maybe you should go down with the others.”

He kisses Dean’s head.

“Just… Gimme five more minutes. Please.” Dean says.

He holds onto Gabriel tighter. Gabriel huffs.

“You’re clingy today.”

“I uh… I missed you. This. I just wanna enjoy it for a little while longer, okay?”

He can hear his voice sounds sad, and it breaks before he finishes his sentence but Gabriel just chuckles. The angel probably thinks he’s still a bit sleepy.  

“Okay.”

He takes a deep breath, trying to lock the memory of Gabriel’s smell inside his brain. He runs the tip of his fingers along Gabriel’s chest, to remember how his skin feels, how warm it is. He straightens up and looks into Gabriel’s eyes, to remember how they seem almost golden but they’re just light green with bits of yellow in it and sometimes maybe a bit of Grace when Gabriel is really happy. He places a strand of hair behind the angel’s ear, to remember how soft it feels. He bends down and kisses him, to be able to remember later how Gabriel tastes like, how his tongue is way hotter than the rest of his body and how good it feels when it’s running on Dean’s lips.

He pulls away then and he sees that Gabriel is smiling lazily and so he smiles back.

“I really need to go.” Gabriel says, twisting his mouth like it’s bothering him.

“Yeah, me too.” Dean answers.

Gabriel raises his eyebrows and laughs.

“You’re eager to work today?”  

Dean forces himself to laugh too.

“Mrs. Herbert feels a lot better now, she’s gonna be all over my ass when she sees me. She didn’t know I came here so she was probably pissed when she saw my bed was empty.”

It’s sorta true, but it still leaves Dean with a bitter taste in mouth.

“Uh, yeah, you’re right. I’ll tell her it’s my fault.” He gives Dean a quick kiss and moves to get up. “I’m going to be a bit busy today, probably tonight too but… I think tomorrow will be okay, if you want we can have lunch together?”

He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to Dean, and he turns his head to look at him. Dean nods.

“Okay.” Dean says.

He doesn’t have the strength to smile anymore.

“Just… If you see that Cas is gone by then, come to my study around noon alright?”

“Yeah.” But he does it anyway. He smiles and he feels the tears coming back.

“Great!” Gabriel exclaims as he gets up. He snaps his fingers and he’s all dressed again. “It’s a date then!”

He winks at Dean and goes for the door. Dean watches him leave.

~*~

Dean goes down to the kitchen, pours himself some coffee and just sits there, sipping at his mug, looking into nothing. He doesn’t want to do anything today. He doesn’t want the day to end. Jordan is at school already, he wishes she was here so she could distract him with her endless chatters.

If only he could take them all with him. He could have his own network. Bobby is a bit old, but he hunted before so he could be useful, he could help train Victor and Ben. Victor is strong, he’d make an amazing hunter. Ben is a bit young, and Dean would have to convince Lisa but he’s pretty sure the kid is a fast learner and he would be really good at it too. Mrs. Herbert could supervise everything. With the help of Lisa maybe. Dean’s pretty sure Gabriel already decided she was going to replace the old Herbert when the time will come. She’s quiet but she’s efficient in everything she does. Charlie would make a good hunter too, and she’d probably love it. Gilda and Jess could help Sam with research, they’re both clever as hell. Maybe Jess would like to hunt too? She has her temper, so he thinks maybe sometimes she could help take some monsters down. Jordan is too young but she could help with research and keeping their home tidy and safe. Dean saw her drawing sometimes, she’s really good at it, so maybe she’d be good with protection sigils and all that spell stuff as well.

But he can’t take them with him. Even if he’d hurry today, get them all to agree to get out, that means Sam would have to erase all of their marks, it would be too complicated. Mrs. Herbert would probably want to stay here anyway. And even if they managed, Dean can’t feed them all. How would he take care of them? They’d have to work even harder, and they’d probably get attacked some times. It would be a tougher life than the one they have here. Here they’re fed, the kids go to school, they have nice beds and nice clothes and sometimes they can get out and they’re protected by Gabriel’s sigil on their arm. Dean can’t offer them all this.

His thoughts are interrupted when Jess barges in the kitchen, holding a bag on her shoulder. She’s dressed differently today. She’s wearing jeans, actual jeans, and a cute blue shirt that looks new. She freezes when she sees Dean.

“Hey you!” She beams.

She walks to one of the counter and grabs an apple. She opens her bag and throws it inside.

“Hey.” Dean says, managing a small smile. “You look nice today. What’s the occasion?”

She raises an eyebrow like she doesn’t understand why he’s asking and then her eyes widen.

“Oh, right, you don’t know about it.” She straightens up, leaning back on the counter. “I’m going to school. Like I do every Wednesday. And Friday. And sometimes Saturday morning.”

Dean blinks at her.

“You’re going… to school? Since when?”

She snorts. “Since last September. Master Gabriel offered to pay for it, I said yes. Where did you think I went when I wasn’t here and you had to take care of my chores?”

“I, uh… I thought…” He feels himself blush a little. “I mean you said you knew Master Castiel before we were introduced to him and sometimes I saw you with him so I thought…” He trails off.

She understands what he means, judging by the way her eyes open wide in surprise. She bursts out laughing.

“Oh my God! No! Dean, seriously?”

She laughs again, and Dean feels a smile tugging at his lips.

“Sorry.” He says, feeling laughter bubbling up his throat.

“I don’t think he even knows what sex is.” She goes on, still laughing a little. “No, seriously, he’s very handsome and he has wonderful eyes but just… No. Even if he asked me to I don’t think I could. I mean… It’s _Castiel_.”

Dean snorts at that. Yeah, he knows what she means. He doesn’t think he’s ever met someone less sexual than this particular angel.

“So what were you doing with him then?” Dean asks when they manage to stop laughing.

Jessica sighs.

“He’s the one who takes me to class. He flies me there because it’s safer. And then he comes and get me when I’m done. At first he just did that but after a while we started talking and… You know, if he wasn’t our Master, I think I could say we’re kind of friends now.”

Dean nods. She smiles at him and looks at the clock hanging above the doorway. She looks like she’s about to leave, but Dean realizes he’s doesn’t want her to. Not yet. He want to spend a bit of time with her before he bails.

“So what are you studying?” He asks, hoping she’ll keep talking for a while.

“Uh, medicine.”

Dean gives her a surprised look. “Medicine? Why?”

She smiles. “You remember the first day we came here? And Jordan asked me what I liked to read about?”

He nods.

“Master Gabriel remembered I said I liked to read books about it so he called me to his study one day, I think a week after we arrived. And he said that if I wanted he could pay for me to learn a bit more about it. He said it could be useful. So I said yes. And now I’m studying to be a nurse.” Her smile widens and she looks happy.

Dean smiles too. “That’s great.” He says, feeling his throat tighten again.

“Right?” She beams. “And today is the start of the mid-term exams. I’m really stressed out but I hope it’s going to be okay. I’ve never taken any exams before.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it looks. Sammy took a few, if he managed I think you’re gonna be okay too. You’re clever like him.”

She straightens up and her smile gets gentler.

“Thanks Dean. I didn’t know your brother went to college.”

Dean shrugs. “He tried but when you’re a hunter it’s difficult to keep a life on the side… But he doesn’t need school, you know. He’s doing fine on his own.”

Jessica picks up her bag. “I wish you’d tell me more about him. I mean, beside his name, I don’t know anything and you’re always saying we would get along. That would be nice if someday you could tell me a bit more.”

He looks down at his mug, trying to hide the tears that want to show up.

“You know I don’t want the angel learning anything about my life.” He says, looking up. “I trust you wouldn’t say anything, but I can never be too careful.”

She comes close to him and pats his shoulder.

“I know.” She looks at the clock again. “I’m really going to be late if I don’t go now though.”

She starts to walk toward the door but Dean stands up.

“Wait!”

She turns around, surprised. He tries to calm down a little, and he fakes a smile.

“Just… Come here and give me a hug before you go?”

She raises an eyebrow at him but she doesn’t comment and she comes close to him again, taking him in her arms. He holds her tight and closes his eyes.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

She pulls away and laughs.

“I’ll only be gone for the day. What’s up with you?”

He forces a laugh too.

“Nothing. I just… We don’t say those kind of things enough, you know? Sometimes it’s nice.”

She smiles again.

“Yeah well, I’ll miss you too, Dean, but I really need to go now.”

He nods.

“See ya!” She exclaims happily as she runs out.

He doesn’t answer. He just looks at the empty doorway and he feels a tear run down his cheek. He wipes it away with the back of his hand and he goes to work.

~*~

It’s late when he finally goes to bed. Or at least he pretends to. But when he gets into the men’s quarters, Jordan is in his bed, and he mentally curses himself for not remembering she always come to sleep with them on Wednesdays. She looks sound asleep, but he still doesn’t like it. He hopes she won’t wake up when he’ll leave.

He goes to lie down anyway, since he has to act as if nothing is wrong. She snuggles close to him when he does, and he holds her. He looks at the ceiling, trying to calm himself down and get ready for his escape. He thinks about it, about all the ways it could happen, all the ways it could go wrong, and he makes up plans for every situation to maximize his chances.

Time passes quicker than he would like it to, and soon it’s two forty-five in the morning. He gently pushes Jordan away and sits on the edge of the bed. He leans carefully down, grabbing the pair of socks Lisa made him and puts them on. He does the same with his pants. His heart is already beating hard inside his chest and he takes a breath before standing up. He hears Jordan move behind him and when he turns around to look at her she’s staring at him with sleepy eyes.

“Where are you going?” she whispers.

He puts his finger in front of his mouth to silence her.

“I need to pee. Just… Go back to sleep, I’ll be back soon, okay?”

She nods and closes her eyes again. He quickly tip-toes out of the room, closes the door and grabs his shoes. He feels like his feet are weighting a ton. He hopes he’s not making too much noise as he walks past Mrs. Herbert’s room and finally gets to the kitchen. He puts his shoes on and he realizes he’s sweating already, and he isn’t even out yet. It takes him a lot longer than usual, mostly because he’s really anxious about the amount of noise he’s making, but finally he finds himself out of the house. 

It’s freezing cold outside, but he barely notices. He’s too scared. His heart is beating fast, he’s shaking like crazy and he even feels slightly dizzy. He’s really not used to this anymore. He takes a few calming breaths and he starts running. He knows where he’s going, and the moon is full enough that he can almost see as if it was daylight. He spotted the big stump Sam told him about yesterday. It takes him a while, and he feels the cold air burning his lungs, but he doesn’t stop. He runs and runs and runs and as he comes close he sees the stump and Sam standing next to a car behind it. He stops a couple of feet before it because he doesn’t want to get burned by the force field again. He’s still not sure where it is exactly.

“Dean! You’re okay?” Sam asks.

Dean tries to catch his breath and he laughs when he sees his brother’s face.

“Yeah. I’m good. Let’s do this!”

Sam walks up to him, easily passing through the force field. It doesn’t stop him, doesn’t light up to signal an intrusion, doesn’t make a noise. He almost throws himself in Dean’s arms and hugs him tight.

“How did you… How can you walk in like that?” Dean asks, pulling away.

Sam raises his arm and Dean sees he’s wearing an amulet around his wrist.

“This spell isn’t too complicated to counter. The archangel probably doesn’t think anybody would try to break in.” He smiles.

Dean huffs. “Okay then. Just… Do your thing.”

He looks back toward the house, feeling the anxiety rising up inside his chest.

“Alright!” Sam exclaims.

He crouches down so Dean does the same. He’s holding a backpack, Dean realizes, and he puts it down, opening it. He takes out a folded shirt, a bowl, a match box, some herbs, a weird looking feather and a little jar full of a dark liquid that Dean identifies as blood.

“Show me your mark.” Sam says.

Dean rolls up his sleeve, finally feeling the cold taking over him, making him shiver.

“He’ll know when you’ll take it off?” He asks.

Sam looks up. “What?”

“Gabriel. He’ll know when you’ll remove his mark?”

Sam smiles and he takes a book out of his bag, opening it.

“No, don’t worry. Grace is a bit like blood. Once it’s out, you don’t feel it again. You don’t miss it, you know? Your body just makes more. Same thing with angels and their Grace.”

Dean nods and he watches his brother put the herbs and the feather in the bowl, crushing them until it turns into a kind of thick powder then covering them with the blood from the jar. He starts reciting an incantation – Dean recognizes Latin but he can’t translate it fully. Something about link of souls or something? – And he lights up a match and throws it in the bowl. Some smoke goes out of the mixture and he takes a handful of it, covering the mark on Dean’s arm with the thing.

It smells awful but Dean doesn’t say anything. Finally Sam covers Dean’s arm with his hand and he throws the shirt he took out of his bag earlier on it.

“What’s that for?” Dean asks, curious.

“It’s supposed to disappear in a big explosion of light if it works. I figured we couldn’t be too careful.”

Dean looks back toward the house again. “Yeah.”

When he looks at his brother again, Sam has closed his eyes. He recites the incantation and Dean starts to feel like his arm is getting warm. As Sam keeps repeating the incantation over and over again, Dean arms gets hotter and hotter until it feels like it’s on fire. He has to close his eyes and bit his lower lips to prevent himself from screaming. It goes on until Dean feels like he can’t take it anymore, like it’s too much pain and he lets his reflexes take over. He tries to take his arm away from Sam but his brother is holding on to him tightly and he doesn’t let go.

It burns, it burns so much he doesn’t feel his arm anymore. Then it explodes. Or at least it feels like it. It feels like his flesh is torn apart in slow motion, like someone is cutting out every little bit of flesh and tendon inside and he opens his eyes. He sees light coming out from under the shirt and it seems to last a life time.

Then it’s over, and everything is dark again. He blinks, and he realizes he’s been crying. He feels the tears pour down his cheeks. Sam looks up at him, concerned, and he removes the shirt. The mark is gone. It’s done. He tastes blood, and he lets go of his lip. He broke the skin, and he didn’t even feel it.

He lets himself fall back on his butt, and he stays here on the cold hard ground. Sam takes his arm again and wipes the strange mixture away. Then he takes another amulet out of his bag, the same he’s wearing, and ties it around Dean’s wrist.

“Okay, we’re good to go.” He says as he puts everything back in his bag.

Dean nods, he can’t really speak after this, and he tries to get up. Sam helps, and they’re about to go when Dean hears a noise behind him.

“Dean?”

He freezes when he recognizes the voice. He slowly turns around. Jordan looks back at him with tears in her eyes.

“Go back inside.” He just tells her.

He can’t look at her. He starts to walk away but he hears her run toward him and she grabs his arm. He stops again. Sam is not moving. He’s looking at Dean and Jordan in turn like he doesn’t know what to do.

“What are you doing?” She asks.

He can hear she’s trying not to cry. He can’t just run away from her like this. He turns toward her again and crouches down in front of her.

“Just go back to sleep, okay?” He says, as gently as he can.

She shakes her head.

“What are you doing, Dean?” She asks again. “Are they trying to take you away?”

She frowns at Sam. Dean forgot for a second she doesn’t know who Sam is. She still thinks he’s from the SRM.

“No. No, Jordan, please. Go back inside.”

“You’re leaving.” She states.

And he sees that she’s trying to understand, like it’s too big for her to comprehend. He takes her in his arms because he doesn’t know what else to do.

“I’m sorry but I have to. Don’t tell anyone, okay? You can’t tell anyone or they’ll do bad things to me.”

“But you can’t leave. You can’t leave the Master, he’s going to be sad if you leave.”

Dean huffs a laugh but there’s nothing happy about it. He feels his throat tighten again. He pulls away and looks at her, giving her his best reassuring smile.

“Listen, it’s gonna be okay, you hear? But I can’t stay. And Gabriel won’t mind. He’ll find someone else. You’ll get a new friend, alright?”  

“No!” And she looks angry. “You can’t leave us. You can’t leave me alone. I can’t forget about Mama if you’re not here.”

She sobs and Dean feels the fake smile leave his face slowly. He glances at the house, hopefully there’s no light on, except the one coming from Gabriel’s room.

“Go back inside Kid. You’ll do fine. You have Ben and Jess and Charlie, and everyone else.”

“Dean, we need to leave.” Sam urges.

Jordan is crying hard now and she looks at him like she wants to kill him.

“Gimme a minute Sammy.” He cups Jordan’s cheeks with both his hands and wipes her tears away with his thumbs.

“Please don’t leave Dean.” She cries. “It’s not the same with the others. When I’m with you it’s the only time I don’t feel like crying because I miss Mama too much. If you’re not here I don’t know what I’ll do. Please stay with me Dean. Please.”

Dean pulls her into a hug again.

“I’m sorry but I have to. I’ll come back for you, okay?” And he doesn’t know why he says this, but the moment the words leave his mouth he knows he means them. “I’ll come back and I’ll take you with me but right now I just have to leave on my own. I’m sorry Jordan.”

He pushes her away and kisses her head. He gets up and he runs toward Sam. She doesn’t have time to go after him before he’s already passed the spell limits. She tries to get to him but as soon as her hand touches the force field it burns her. She yelps and Dean turns around, looking at her one last time. She’s holding her injured hand against her chest.

“I hate you!!” She screams.

“I’m sorry…” He says.

He gets into the car on the passenger seat. Sam is already sitting at the wheel and he takes off as soon as Dean closes the door. He keeps looking at Jordan as they leave, until she’s nothing but a vague shape on the horizon.

They’re back on the road pretty quickly. He looks around him, at the sky through the car’s window. He made it. He’s free. He’s finally free.


	9. Home is where the heart is

 

Gabriel sighs. He puts down the book he’s reading on his knees and looks into the fire. He’s bored. Or, not bored, not really, but he feels like he’s missing something.

No but seriously, who is he kidding? He misses Dean. He’s in way over his head with that one. He smiles as he think about his human. He knows it’s going to be a bit tough getting use to his bluntness and his wild temper but he’s fairly sure it’s going to be worth all the efforts he’s putting into that relationship. He hasn’t dared getting involved in a long while, but he just can’t resist Dean. He doesn’t even know why. He just hopes Dean is as invested as he is.

He can’t wait to be tomorrow. He wants to see his human again. He hopes he’s feeling better. He still has no clue what last night was about, so he tries to be careful around him. He likes spending time with Dean. Even if right now he’s a bit angry at Gabriel, he’s pretty sure Dean likes to spend time with him too. He’s not sure how he’s going to do this, if it’s even going to work, but he can’t wait to try. Like Dean said, it would be better if they were equals. And that’s the first step. Just spending time together, learn to know each other until Dean is comfortable enough that he forgets everything about Gabriel’s title. Yes, when they’ll get to that point, it’s going to be great.

He picks up his book again and tries to find the last sentence he read. But he can’t really focus tonight. He feels like he’s full of energy. Last night was a bit of a surprise but he finds he liked it a lot. It had been a long time since he last did something on impulse like this. He wishes Dean would come knocking at his door again tonight, without all the tears and fear though, that would be really great.

His heart suddenly jumps in his throat when he hears someone knock frantically at the door. But it’s not Dean’s voice on the other side. It’s Jordan’s.

“Master!” she screams, over and over again.

She sounds panicked. It’s almost four in the morning, what is she doing up? If she tells him she had a nightmare he’s going to seriously start wondering if something has been put in their food. He stands up to open the door and when he does she throws herself on him. She’s crying and she looks like she’s seen a ghost.

“Hey, hey! Calm down.” He orders.

He closes the door behind her and crouches down in front of her to be able to look into her eyes. She’s avoiding his gaze so he grabs her chin and forces her to look at him.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, as gentle as possible.

“D… D…” She’s sobbing so hard she can’t get a word out.

“Come on now, calm down. Breathe.”

She does, taking a big breath, and letting it out shakily. After a few seconds of this she manages to open her mouth again.

“Dean!” She just says, and she starts sobbing again.

“What about him? You went sleeping in his bed and he yelled at you, is that it?” He smiles.

She shakes her head ‘no’ vigorously and she opens her mouth again.

“He… H… He’s go- gone! He’s gone Master. He di… didn’t listen to me and he…” She trails off, crying harder than ever.

He feels a bit lost for a second and then he laughs.

“What are you talking about? Dean’s right here, I can guarantee that. You just had a nightmare.”

He tries to rub small circles on her back to calm her down. As he does so he sends his Grace around the mansion, seeking his Mark on Dean’s arm to tell her that everything is perfectly fine. But it just doesn’t reach anything. It doesn’t find the mark. It doesn’t find Dean.  

His heart skips a beat before he takes control over his vessel. He stops smiling. He sends his Grace again. Surely he’s just missed it. He seeks the others. His Grace finds them all, every single one of them. Except Dean.

She’s probably seeing the expression on his face change as he realizes she’s right, and she just nods. He doesn’t think she knows she’s doing it. He tries not to let panic wash over him.

“Castiel!” He calls.

He feels his brother’s presence before he hears the wings and he doesn’t bother turning around.

“Search the property. Find Dean.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“What happened?” Castiel asks.

And Gabriel gets frustrated, but he tries not to get angry.

“Jordan.” He says firmly, trying to catch her attention. She’s staring at Castiel and she looks lost. Finally she slowly looks at him again. “Tell me, what did you see?”

Jordan sniffs and she straightens up.

“I was with Dean and he left the room, he s-said he was going to pee.” She tries to wipe the tears from her eyes. “But he took too long to come back so I went to find him. He wa-wasn’t here but I heard a n-noise in the kitchen so I went to see and I saw him go outside.”

Some more tears fall from the corner of her eyes and she briefly looks away before she takes a breath to calm herself down. Gabriel keeps rubbing her back, he tries to be patient.

“Go on.” He urges.

She nods. “I followed him, but he r-ran and he’s really fast, and I lost him for a while b-but I heard some voices. I found him again and he w-was with the Slave Rights man.” She sniffs again and suddenly she looks angry. “He took him Master! It’s the man I saw yesterday, he took Dean.”

Another sob escapes her and she hides her face in her hands. Gabriel turns to look at Cas. He feels like he’s about to be sick. It can’t be true, Dean can’t be gone, not after everything.

“I can’t feel him anymore. Like his Mark is just gone.”

Castiel blinks. “That’s not possible.”

Doesn’t he think Gabriel knows? They need to find Dean. Gabriel refuses to think he could have left just like this. He couldn’t have left _him_.

“Go and look for him. Maybe he’s hurt, maybe…” He trails off.

Did the SRM guy told Dean something yesterday? Why would he take him? It doesn’t make any sense. But thinking that Dean would leave on his own is worse. It can’t be.

“I’ll find him.” Castiel says. And he’s gone.

Gabriel turns to Jordan again.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers.

“It’s not your fault.” He manages.

He doesn’t want to talk, he’s certainly not in the mood to comfort a little girl but he needs to keep a straight face, not let this get to him. Castiel reappears and he turns toward him again, hopeful.

“He’s not… In the property anymore.” Cas says carefully.

Gabriel’s heart misses a beat again. It’s not possible. It can’t be. He’s really gone. His heart is beating too fast now and it sends a rush of blood to his brain, making him dizzy. He feels so mad all of a sudden, so, so mad. He needs to know why. Why would Dean leave? Gabriel gave him everything, and even if he tried to find an escape route when he first got here, Gabriel thought he was over it. He thought he was enough for Dean. Apparently he wasn’t. He’s so angry.

“Wake up the others.” He orders Cas.

If one of them knew something he needs to find out. He needs to ask them. And if they don’t want to talk, he’ll make them. He’s so furious. For the first time, in all the years he’s owned humans, he wants to hurt them. He represses the feeling as he takes Jordan’s hand and leaves the room.

~*~

Everybody’s up, standing in line behind him, but he can’t look at them. He doesn’t trust himself to ask them anything if Cas is not here. He doesn’t know what he could do if he learns they knew something. Because he knows, even if he doesn’t want to admit it just yet, he knows that Dean probably left because he wanted to. He probably knew for a while he was going to, and Gabriel didn’t see anything. He’s been blinded by what they had – or what he thought they had at least – and he’s not sure how to feel about all of this. All he knows is that it hurts.

He hopes Castiel is going to be back soon. His brother is with his own slaves, his soldiers, to explain the situation to them. Gabriel wants them to try and find Dean first, because if they don’t, he’s going to have to report it. He lost a criminal, a high level one at that, and he really, really doesn’t want the other angels to be involved.

He wants to laugh when he thinks that Lucifer was right. And now he’s going to have to apologize. Beg, like Luci said. That’s just great. He’s just so stupid. He was stupid to believe that someone like Dean could be tamed. He was stupid to let himself fall for the human. Now he’s alone, he feels utterly betrayed and he doesn’t know what to do.

He just wants to understand how Dean did it. How did he manage to convince the SRM representative to help? If he was a hunter they would have known. They always run a background check on anyone that enters the property. He just wants to understand. Maybe he won’t feel so bad if he does.

“It’s done.” Castiel says as he reappears.

Gabriel finally turns around. He nods at his brother and looks at his humans. They’re all staring at the floor, standing straight. Only Jordan is shaking as she silently cries, holding her hands against her chest. For the first time since she came to his room he notices her hand looks burned, and he feels a pang of guilt for not seeing this sooner.

“Let me see your hand.” He says, walking to her.

She looks up, surprised, and slowly extend her hand toward him. He takes it and grazes the skin, sending a bit of Grace and erasing the burn.

“Thank you Master.” She whispers, taking her hand away.

“How did that happen?” He asks.

She sniffles. “I touched the Limit when I tried to run after Dean. I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear Master. I’m sorry.”

“So you saw him up close? And he went through the spell without being injured?”

She nods.

“Did you talk to him?”

She nods again.

“What did he say?”

She looks up at Jessica next to her, then at Cas.

“He said he had to go. I tried to tell him you’d be sad if he left.” She says as she looks at him again. “But he told me it wasn’t true and that you’d find someone else. He said not to tell anyone but I couldn’t keep the secret. I’m sorry Master. I’m sorry I let him leave.”

He sighs. “It’s not your fault.”

She starts crying again and he can’t take it anymore. He’s feeling angry and he doesn’t like it.

“Anybody else knows anything about this?” He asks, looking at them all. “Did he say anything?”

They all keep looking at the floor, not saying a word and he wants to grab them and shake them until they speak. Finally he sees Jessica glancing up so he comes to stand in front of her and he pushes her chin up until she’s looking at him.

“Talk.”

He can’t help but sound furious. He doesn’t mean to, but he can’t help it. She looks scared. He doesn’t like it.

“I… He didn’t tell me anything about escaping but… I saw him before I left for school this morning and he was acting weird I… I didn’t think much about it, I’m sorry Master, I should have told you. I’m sorry. I don’t-“

“What did he say?”

“He… He asked me for a hug and he told me he was going to miss me. I just thought… I’m sorry I didn’t notice Master, I should have said something.”

He lets go of her and takes a step back. He thinks about the night before and now he sees it, he sees Dean knew he was going to leave but he doesn’t understand what all the crying was about. He can still hear Dean’s voice in his head. ‘ _I had to leave this place because I had no choice_.’ He feels so stupid he almost wants to slap himself. He should have seen it.

“Jordan, do you remember anything else? Anything that could help?”

She thinks about it. But she doesn’t seem to remember something useful and she suddenly looks distressed. He doesn’t feel like telling her it’s okay though. Nothing is okay. Dean is gone. He turns to Cas.

“What about that SRM guy? You didn’t get anything weird on him when you ran the background check?”

Castiel was about to answer the first question but he suddenly closes his mouth. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and his mouth tighten in a thin line.

“You did run a background check, didn’t you?” Gabriel ask.

Castiel is usually very thorough, he doesn’t see why he wouldn’t have. Cas looks briefly down.

“I intended to but…” He trails off.

“I can’t believe it!” Gabriel lets out.

He’s so furious he has to close his eyes for a second because if he keeps staring at Cas, at anyone really, he’s going to hurt someone.

“So we don’t know anything about that guy either?” He goes on, his voice rising. He can’t hold it back anymore. He opens his eyes again. “We don’t know who he really is or what he was really doing here? For all we know he’s not even part of the SRM! He could have been anybody, what were you thinking Cas?!”

“Master?” Jordan tries, hesitantly.

“I had other things to do, Gabriel, I can’t be everywhere at once.” Castiel answers, stepping up angrily toward him. “Maybe if you had been a little more invested in your duties here instead of fooling around with Dean it wouldn’t have happened.”

Gabriel laughs unhappily and runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault, is that it? You didn’t do your fucking job but it’s all on me!”

“Master?” Jordan says again, a bit louder.

“What?!” He barks, turning to her.

She looks down and seems to shrink on herself a bit but she still opens her mouth.

“The Slave Rights man. I don’t think his real name is Ted like he said. Dean called him Sammy.”

He sees Jessica and Charlie exchange a look.

“Sammy, like… Like his brother Sammy?” Charlie asks, looking at Jessica.

They both turn to him. It takes him a few seconds to process what he just heard.

“What do you know about him?” He asks.

They glance at each other again and finally Jessica talks.

“Dean’s brother… his name is Sam. Samuel. But Dean calls him ‘Sammy’ whenever he talks about him. That’s all we know, I swear Master. He never… We asked about him but Dean never said anything, only that Sam was clever and that…” She hesitates. “That me and him would probably get along pretty well…”

It makes more sense than anything he’s thought about and he almost feels dizzy knowing that this guy, if he really is Dean’s brother, was right under their noses, planning to get Dean out of here and they didn’t see anything. He looks at Cas again.

“Dean’s things… The things he had on him when he was arrested, do you still have them?”

Castiel nods. “Yes but I don’t see-“

“Get them. Now!”

Castiel disappears and reappears with a sealed cardboard box in his hands. He opens it and Gabriel doesn’t lose one second more. He looks inside. There’s Dean’s clothes - a pair of jeans, a plain black t-shirt and a blue plaid shirt - A watch, a wallet, a ring, a pendant that looks suspiciously like a really rare amulet, and a loaded gun. He takes the wallet out of the box and opens it, looking inside.

He finds what he was looking for and takes it out of the wallet. It’s a picture of Dean, the SRM representative and an older man. The three of them are smiling and Dean is holding up a beer. It looks to be a few years old. When he turns it over there’s something written on it. ‘ _Sam, Dean and Dad. We got that vamp bitch!_ ’

He can’t believe it. He can’t believe he didn’t see anything. He remembers Dean acting weird the first day his brother came, the first time he saw him with Gabriel. He should have known right there that something was off but he just thought Dean was tired. He’s so fucking stupid, he can barely believe it himself.

He turns his back on the humans and runs a hand through his hair. He wills his vessel not to react to everything he’s feeling. It’s been a while since he last felt like crying. But it’s a waste of time. Crying won’t bring Dean back any faster. He can’t just wait here either, he’s going to go crazy if he does. And he can’t look at his humans anymore. He just feels so angry at them for not noticing what Dean was planning. He feels angry at himself too, but it’s easier to blame others. It helps with the pain a little.

“Go back to your quarters.” He tells them, waving them off.

Camilla steps up. She looks at him with pity and he can’t take it.

“Do you want something Master? It’s a bit late to go back to bed now. We could make you-“

“Go!!!”

He can’t hear her, he can’t stand the way they all stare at him like he’s weak. He just wants to be alone. He doesn’t look at them as they leave. He needs some time alone.

“I want a report from your slaves every hour.” He tells Castiel. “I’ll be in my study.”

He leaves the room before Cas can answer him.

~*~

They’ve been driving for more than an hour now, and Dean still feels like crap. He thought being free would feel amazing. It doesn’t. He just can’t help thinking about the others. He hopes Gabriel won’t think they knew something. He doesn’t think he would be violent with them though, but he still feels bad. He feels bad for leaving them there too. And being out feels… Kinda weird. Even more so now that he changed into his old clothes.

 They entered a forest fifteen minutes ago and now the path is getting difficult. He’s not sure the car will be able to go through it for much longer. But finally they reach a clearing. A trailer is parked there. There’s another car in front of it.

Sam stops the car and gets out without a word, so Dean follows. Sam knocks on the trailer door and they wait.

“There’s something you need to know…” Sam starts.

Dean gives him a curious look.

“I uh… I didn’t come alone. I mean, I had help to get you out.”

Dean doesn’t like it one bit. But he trusts Sam. So he just nods. The door opens and a little brunette is staring down at them. She looks at Dean from head to toe and then smiles at Sam.

“What took you so long?” She asks him, playful.

He looks down sheepishly.

“I did as fast as I can.”

She snorts. “Okay well, come in guys. We don’t have all night.”

So she’s the one who helped Sam? He should have known it was a chick. Sammy never trusts anybody, except when he’s getting some. When he does he can’t think straight.

Dean decides right away that he doesn’t like her. He doesn’t know why, but there’s something about her that makes him cringe. She disappears inside the trailer so they get in. The mess inside is amazing. Dean doesn’t think he’s ever seen a place so full of crap before. He doesn’t know where to put his feet. There’s even a shit load of stuff on the floor.

When he looks up, Sam, the girl and an old creepy looking guy are staring at him.

“So, Dean.” Sam starts. “This is Frank, he’s the one who’s going to give us our new IDs.”

“Uh, Hi.” Dean says.

The creepy guy, Frank, is sitting down, surrounded computer screens. He turns around, wiping his glasses clean before putting them back on and he starts typing.

“Careful where you put your feet boy. If you break anything, I don’t care how much you paid I won’t give you anything and depending on what you broke I might even kill you. Capisce?”

Dean blinks at him. Okay, that was rude. Dean finds he likes it. He missed rude people. He doesn’t even bother answering him, because he can just shut his mouth and nobody is going to punish him for it.

Okay he might be starting to enjoy freedom again.

“Who’s the bitch?” He asks, tilting his chin toward the brunette.

Sam rolls his eyes.

“I’m Ruby. Nice to meet you, Asshole.” She smirks.

“Is that your street name or-“

“Dean!” Sam snaps.

He crosses his arms on his chest and frowns hard at Dean. Dean just smiles smugly and turns to look at what Frank is doing.

And the guy is really good. After ten minutes they have their new IDs, some new papers for the car, a new license plate, new everything really and they’re all set. Dean assumes Sam paid him in advance because when he’s done he almost throws them out without asking for anything.

“Wait, wait!” Sam says as Dean starts to open the door to go out. “What about the… uh, special protection we talked about?”

Frank sighs. “If you pay me the special fee we talked about, then I’ll call him but hurry up. I don’t want anybody seeing me with you two. Especially you!” He adds, pointing furiously at Dean.

Sam doesn’t answer and he reaches for the inside pocket of his coat, taking out a little plastic bag. Frank takes it, looks inside and puts it away with a satisfied smile on his face. Dean wonders what that special protection might be. He hopes Sam didn’t have to go through too much trouble to get the money to pay for it. If he had to put it in a bag like this, that means he doesn’t want Dean to see the amount. Which means it must be an awful lot.

“Balthazar!” Frank shoots, looking up at the ceiling.

Dean looks up too out of reflex. When he looks down again there’s another guy standing between Frank and Ruby and Dean jumps when he sees him. Sam jumps too but he’s quicker than Dean and Dean sees he takes a fighting stance, his hand behind his back, his fingers on the handle of his gun.

“Hi.” The guy says.

Dean eyes him suspiciously. He’s either or a demon or an angel if he can appear like that, and neither of those things sounds good for Dean. Frank claps the guy on the shoulder.

“Guys, this is Balthazar.”

“And who are these charming people?” Balthazar asks.

“Only those two need your help.” Frank says. “Dean and Sam here want to disappear from angel radar. Think you can help?”

Balthazar eyes widen when Frank points to Dean and says his name.

“Dean?” He asks. “As in Dean Winchester?”

Dean doesn’t move. He’s ready to bolt if something goes wrong. Franks nods.

“Yep.”

Balthazar scoffs. “No.”

Sam’s entire body slumps down instantly.

“What? Why?!”

“Why do you think? Dean here is pretty famous amongst my kind! And he’s certainly not supposed to be here!”

So he’s an angel. Great. Just what they needed. He turns to Dean.

“I’m guessing if you’re here that means you escaped. And I didn’t hear anything about it yet so either Gabriel doesn’t know about it or he hasn’t reported anything yet. Either way I’d rather not get involved. And knowing you’re here I’ll obviously have to turn you in once I hear anything official about it. That was a brilliant idea you had calling me here Frank, thank you!”

He seems agitated and he looks like he’s about to leave.

“Wait, please! We paid for this!” Sam tries, an edge of desperation to his voice. “Just do your thing and then we’ll leave. You can report us, we don’t care! They won’t notice Dean is gone until morning at least, we’ll have time to be far away from here. Please!”

Balthazar sighs dramatically and he glances at Frank.

“All right.” He finally says. “But you don’t know me, you never saw me and you certainly don’t know my name, are we clear?”

“Yes!” Sam says, straightening up again.

Dean just nods. The angel takes a step toward them and Dean has trouble not stepping back. But he trusts Sam on this.

“It’s going to hurt.” Balthazar says, putting his hands on their chests.

They don’t have time to protest or anything. There’s no sound and no bolt of light, only a sharp pain in Dean’s whole chest and then it’s over.

“What the fuck did you do?!!” He exclaims.

“Carved some enochian into your ribs. Now you’re all set! No angel can find you. Not unless you give them an address, that is.”

He smiles, self-satisfied, and he turns to Frank again.

“Well, it’s always a pleasure doing business with you but I can’t stay. I’ll come back for my share.” He looks at Dean and Sam. “Have fun!”

And with that he disappears, leaving only the sound of wings echoing in the room.  

~*~

The first lights of the morning are showing up on the horizon, and still no sign of Dean. Gabriel is desperate. He doesn’t want to have to report this. He’s still clinging to the hope that maybe this was all a misunderstanding, maybe Dean didn’t really want to leave him. But he knows he’s wrong. He recognized the man on the picture in Dean’s wallet, and he knows he’s important to Dean. And he also knows what Dean thinks of slavery, so really, Gabriel had it coming. He should have seen it, he should have anticipated it. He knows Dean never thought he deserved the punishment. Even when it came to Ana. He felt guilty about it, he knew he made a mistake, but he definitely didn’t think it required him to be imprisoned for it. And Gabriel should have told him. He should have told him that eventually he was going to let him out on his own. He could even have brought Samuel close so they could see each other from time to time. It wouldn’t have been a problem, Gabriel wouldn’t have minded, especially if they were getting into a real relationship. But it’s too late now. And now he sees that Dean would never have been satisfied with any kind of arrangement. He just wants to be free. And he’s probably been playing Gabriel the whole time, so really, there’s no point in dwelling in all the thing that could have been, because he probably wasn’t interested anyway.

Gabriel feels another surge of anger coming and he suppresses it. He can’t do anything, he can’t move from his spot next to the window. And he can’t look at the door behind his back, he can only look at the sky getting brighter and clearer as the late winter sun comes up. He keeps staring as he sends his Grace around the mansion for the hundredth time today. Everyone’s here, working. When he pokes a little bit deeper at their marks he finds that some of them are agitated, but most are just filled with deep sadness. They really didn’t know, and he feels a bit guilty for the way he behaved with them earlier. But he can’t afford to be nice anymore. He’s been too soft with every single one of them, all of this because of Dean, because of what Dean did to him. Christmas was a bad idea, it made them feel like he was within their reach somehow, like they could become his friends even. He shouldn’t have gotten that close to them. Humans are just messy, they’re full of emotions and he knows himself, he knows if he gets close then he starts feeling like they do and he can’t do that anymore. It’s bad. It takes him away from his duties and from his Brothers and he should never have allowed himself to become so lenient.

He startles a bit when he hears the familiar noise of wings behind him but he doesn’t turn around. Castiel doesn’t say anything for a long while, before Gabriel hears him finally draw in a breath.

“We need to report this. We can’t wait any longer.”

He sighs. He knows he has to, but he doesn’t want to.                                                                                            

“Fine.” He says. “Do it.”

“Is there anything else you want me to do?” Cas asks.

Gabriel can hear pity in his voice and the anger comes back. But he doesn’t let it get to him. He tries to keep control over those emotions that he shouldn’t be feeling. He finally turns around.

“Send a message to Lucifer. Tell him I’m coming. Today.”

Castiel frowns. He doesn’t look too happy with this idea.

“Are you sure? He’s going to hear about it when I’ll broadcast the news, you don’t have to-“

“Of course I have to!” Gabriel shoots.

And there, he let the anger take over and he feels ashamed. He closes his eyes, takes a breath. When he feels calm enough he opens them again.

“Sorry.” And he tries to smile apologetically. “I need to see him. He was right all along and I just… I can’t renounce my Brother because of a slave. I need to fix this. Just tell him I’ll be here soon.”

Castiel nods. He still looks unhappy but he leaves to do what he’s told. Gabriel turns to look out the window again. He can hear Castiel’s voice in his head, but he tunes it down. He doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to hear his failure being broadcasted to the entire Host.

~*~

“Welcome home!” Sam says, opening the door to the cabin they’ve been living in for the past two years.

Or, almost three years now, Dean thinks, when he remembers he missed a few months. They drove all morning to get here, they’re still in Gabriel’s district, but they decided they were going to come here anyway. After all, they’re protected against angels, Dean has been captured in another part of the country, so the angels have no reason to suspect they’re still inside the district. And they’re close to a frontier anyway. Only a couple hours away.

Ruby left them alone – and Dean was very happy about that – and she’s off to do god knows what. He hopes she doesn’t know where the cabin is, and even if she does he hopes she won’t show up again until a long while.

Dean sighs and he follows his brother inside. It’s so weird. Everything feels foreign. It looks the same, the TV is still on his left, with their old battered couch in front of it. The kitchen is still on the right, with the same round table, the same chairs, the same fridge. The same door in the back, leading to their bedroom. But Dean feels odd, out of place somehow. He doesn’t like the feeling but he tells himself it will go away after a while and he shrugs it off.

It’s dirty. Like, really, really dirty. Sam is usually tidy, so there’s no clothes or old food anywhere in sight but there’s a shit ton of dust on every piece of furniture and it smells like old mold and really, Dean feels the imperious need to scrub everything clean until the whole cabin shines like it’s new. He’s not used to this life anymore.

“What?” Sam asks when he sees Dean wrinkling his nose.

“Nothing.” Dean answers.

He throws himself in the couch. His mom’s old quilt is still spread on it. He let his hand run along the fabric and finally, something feels familiar, and he smiles.

Sam snorts and Dean hears he’s opening the fridge.

“So, angels murders?” He says.

Dean straightens up. Yes, he forgot all about it. He feels a bit guilty talking about it with Sam, because Gabriel said he trusted him when he told him all about the Archangels and the districts. But this is Sam, and Dean trusts Sam more than anyone, so if he tells him not to say anything to anyone else, he knows he can count on him to keep his mouth shut.

“Uh, yeah.”

Sam comes to sit next to him and hands him a beer. He hesitates for a few seconds before he pops the cap open. He hopes he’s not gonna get wasted with only a couple of these. He hasn’t had a drink in a while. But he had a high tolerance before, there’s no way it disappeared that quickly. He can handle beer.

“But before we talk about that…” He takes a swig of his beer and take the time to swallow before he goes on. He looks up at Sam. “Ruby? I mean what the fuck, man? She’s weird.”

Sam scoffs. “Says the guy who’s been playing house with an archangel for five months.”

Dean swallows hard but doesn’t answer and he looks down. Sam starts to smile smugly but when he sees Dean’s reaction his face falls.

“Sorry… But you said he didn’t-“

Dean cuts him with a wave of his hand and he smiles again.

“He never hurt me. It’s just it’s weird to think about it now that I’m here, you know?”

He half-shrugs, trying to shake off the uneasiness.

“Still, I shouldn’t joke about it I… That’s what you usually do, so I thought it’d be better than talk about feelings.”

Dean huffs a laugh. “Yeah, definitely better. But don’t avoid the subject, dude. We were talking about your girl here.”

Sam looks away and rubs the back of his neck. It makes Dean smile. He always does that whenever he feels embarrassed.

“She’s not my girl.”

Dean takes another sip of beer and he raises an eyebrow at Sam.

“So you’re saying you’re not doing her?”

Sam face gets red. “No… I…” He huffs and opens his beer like it personally offended him. “We do… _Do_ stuff. But it’s not like that. It’s not like we’re together or anything.” He brings the bottle to his mouth and takes a big gulp.

Dean slaps his back as hard as he can and Sam’s mouth bumps against the bottle and he spits a bit of beer.

“That’s my boy!!” He exclaims with a big smile on his face.

He only half feels it. But he figures he has to act Dean-like. He’s kind of amazed it doesn’t feel as natural as it should, but it’s another thing that should go back to normal soon, he’s sure. He tries not to worry about it.

Sam wipes the beer off his chin with the back of his hand and he glares at Dean until Dean stops chuckling.

“So. How did you two meet anyway?” Dean asks.

He’s curious. He really, really doesn’t like her.

“Believe it or not but I’m actually part of the Slave Rights Movement.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Why?”

“Why do you think, dumbass? When you were taken and I heard they were selling you as a slave I didn’t know what to do so I looked for people who would know a bit more about slavery than I do. So I signed in with them, it’s actually pretty interesting. And they do manage to help people. Mostly former slaves who are freed and don’t know what to do with their lives, you know?”

Dean nods.

“And Ruby was a part of it too. She’s very vocal about the stuff, she’s very passionate about it. So after a while I opened up to her, I told her about you. She said I had to take action. And I knew I had to do something but it had been a couple of months and I was starting to lose hope that I’ll ever see you again so… She helped me make up a plan, she helped me set it up. She gave me everything I needed to make it work. We owe her, Dean.”

He gives Dean a pleading look, because he noticed how Dean acted with her. He probably knows Dean doesn’t like her and he’s trying to tell him he has to play nice because without her he’d still be locked up. Oddly that doesn’t help her case.

“Okay.” Dean says with a sigh. “I’ll try to be nice. But I really don’t like the way she talks to you.”

Sam looks away but he doesn’t blush this time.

“Like you care. You know I did some snooping around about Gabriel while I was in town after the first time I saw you. Don’t tell me you hate bossy people.”

And now Dean is blushing and has to hide his face behind his bottle by taking another sip.

“Shuddup.” He puts his bottle down on the coffee table. “You probably heard a bunch of bullshit anyway.”

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”

He’s smirking now so Dean pretends he’s not embarrassed and he leans back on the couch.

“So the SRM is sending people to check on slave owners now?”

“Uh, no. We made that up. Can you imagine if they did? They know they can’t do anything about it. And if they did send people most of them would get killed on their first try anyway. They’re not suicidal. I can’t believe that Castiel guy fell for it. I just thought he was just one of the archangel’s messenger or something, that he would relay the message but I wouldn’t truly get in. I didn’t know he was that high ranked. That’s why I didn’t put two and two together when you told me about him, I was surprised when I saw his face that he was the same guy I harassed for weeks.”

He smiles like he’s proud of himself.

“You were lucky.” Dean admonishes. “He’s good at what he does. He’s just… I don’t know, a bit oblivious sometimes? Maybe he didn’t thought much about it because you look like you’re barely legal. You should cut your hair, dude.”

Sam flips him off and he grunts as he reaches for the remote on the coffee table. He turns the TV on and turns the volume down.

“So you’re going to tell me about the murders or what?” He asks, looking at Dean again.

He already downed half of his beer, and Dean realizes he barely touched his. He grabs it again and settles against a cushion. It’s gonna take a while. Might as well get comfortable.

~*~

Gabriel appears in Lucifer’s mansion, in the middle of the entry hall, and he waits. His own home is big, a bit too much for his taste, even more so now that Cas is here less, but Lucifer house is gigantic. It truly is a mansion, a proper one. He doesn’t like to be here. Everything feels cold, even if he knows he can’t feel temperatures like human do, it makes a chill run up his body just looking at the white marble all around him.

Lucifer must have felt his presence because a slave comes running down the stairs toward him. She’s a frail little thing, with long black hair. She looks like she hasn’t eaten in a while, and there’s a bruise on her cheek. He hates being here. When he sees her he just wants to turn on his heels and leave. But he can’t, so he waits until she’s close and she tells him to follow her.

She doesn’t look at him, doesn’t raise her eyes from the floor, and she walks up the stairs again. He stays a good distance behind so as not to scare her. They walk through a long corridor, take another small flight of stairs and she stops in front of the door to Lucifer’s library. So that means Luci wants to make an impression. Gabriel knows there’s only one chair here, a mahogany desk and that’s it. Luci wants him uncomfortable, he wants to make sure Gabriel knows who has the power in their relationship, and if he wasn’t as level-headed as he is, Gabriel would have just fled already.  

He lets out a breath, trying to steady himself. The slave opens the door wide and she kneels down next to it.

Gabriel steps inside and surely, as he predicted it, Lucifer is sitting in his throne-like chair, a book in hand. He looks up like he’s surprised someone is coming in and smiles coyly.

“Leave.” He tells the slave.

She stands up – She has trouble bending her left knee, Gabriel notices – And she leaves as fast as she can, closing the door behind her.

“Gabriel.” He states, closing his book and putting it down on the little table beside his chair.

If he wasn’t as terrified as he is now, Gabriel would laugh at how theatrical his brother always is. He walks closer to him until he’s standing a couple of feet in front of him. He gives a quick look around, impressed as always when he sees the hundreds of books Lucifer keeps in here, barely touched, and looks down on his brother again.

“I heard about your little spy’s escape. I’m guessing you’re here to apologize.” Lucifer goes on.

Gabriel takes a breath. “Yes.” He exhales.

Lucifer smirks. “Lucky for you I kept our disagreement a secret. You’re the one who screwed up. I really hope for your sake and the sake of our Kind that you didn’t blab too much to him about us.”

He has to use all his will power not to look down in shame. He knows Luci is doing it on purpose.

“I know what you want me to say.” He starts carefully. Lucifer lets him talk. “You were right. I was wrong about him and it was wrong of me to trust him and I… I’m sorry. For the things I said to you and the things I did.”

Lucifer chuckles. He stares at Gabriel, licking his lips, and opens his mouth again.

“You really thought that was going to be enough?”

Gabriel blinks.

“What?”

“You really thought you’d come here, say you’re sorry and we’d hug and everything would go back to normal?”

Gabriel slowly shuts his mouth, gritting his teeth. Of course he didn’t. Lucifer knows it but he wants to make a show of all this. Even if Gabriel is his only audience.

“I tried to be patient with you, Gabriel.” Lucifer goes on. “You’re aware I let you win the bid on Dean, right? I knew you wanted him. I let you have him. I knew you were soft but I thought at least you were the best suited to keep an eye on him. You disappointed me on that. You even took his side. I’m still not sure I can forgive that just yet.”

Gabriel can’t help it. He looks down, for half a second, but Lucifer saw it and when he looks up again his brother is smirking, satisfied.

“You lost any right you had on him from the moment you lost him. So now here’s what you’re going to do : you’re going to put a price on his head. A good one, so that demons, humans and even angels alike will turn the country upside down to find him. And when they’ll bring him back to you you’re going to punish him as he should have been a long time ago.”

Gabriel opens his mouth at that, ready to protest but Lucifer raises his hand and his glare turns cold so Gabriel shuts his mouth right away.

“You don’t get to make any objections. You lost that right, I told you. You _are_ going to punish him. I don’t care if you do it yourself or not, but he’s going to suffer for everything he’s done, and we’ll both be there to witness it. Is that clear?”

He raises an eyebrow, almost menacing, so Gabriel nods. There’s nothing he can do, and he doesn’t want to lose his brother, his only support now, for sure. He feels his heart sink in his chest but he tries to ignore it.

“And when it will be done, you’re going to lend him to me.”

Gabriel feels his whole body going rock still.

“I’ll give him back!” Lucifer exclaims with a smile, noticing his reaction. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill him. But he needs to be trained, and you just don’t know how to properly do that so I’ll take care of it. See this as a kind of… brotherly gesture. I’ll let you keep him once I’m done. But know that if you fail to follow these instructions there will be no forgiveness. I would be very disappointed in you, and knowing myself I wouldn’t like the feeling. Who knows what I’d be capable of doing then?”

A wild grin appears on his face, and it makes Gabriel’s blood run cold.

“I won’t.” He finally says. “I won’t disappoint you. I’ll do it. Whatever you ask.”

He’s scared of his brother, he really is, because in the last few centuries he’s changed. Gabriel doesn’t know where it came from, how long he’s been getting darker and darker but in that moment he’s so aware of it it almost physically hurts. But he doesn’t want to give up on him. He knows they haven’t been as close as they were before those last decades, and he thinks maybe that’s part of the problem. He wants to make it up to Lucifer. For everything. The years he’s been getting increasingly distant, the way he chose Dean over him. And he certainly doesn’t want to be alone anymore. He was starting to get close to Raphael before he died, and he lost him. He’s losing Cas too, he knows it, mostly because of the murders but also because he’s been keeping himself separate from the other angels. He understands now why Cas choose to be away most of the time. Michael has been closed off ever since Ana died and now… If he loses Luci he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

Finally, Lucifer smile changes, it almost turns sincere for a second.

“I’m glad that you’re getting on the right path again, Gabriel.”

He stands up, closes the distance between them. He grazes Gabriel’s cheeks with the tip of his fingers and cocks his head on the side, smile still on. Gabriel doesn’t dare move, because he doesn’t want to anger Lucifer again. Before this time, before they started enslaving humans for the first time, Gabriel wouldn’t have been scared. Luci never lost his temper back then. It only came with time, that slow all-consuming anger inside of him that threatens to come out at any time, any ill-placed remark.

“Soon we’ll take our rightful place back, brother.” Lucifer whispers. “We’ll be a family again.”

Gabriel doesn’t know what he means, but it sounds right. He lets out a shaky breath.

“Yes.” He answers.

And he lets himself believe it’s true.

~*~

It’s been a week. A fucking week, and Dean is bored out of his mind. Sam doesn’t want them to work on the angels murders because he says Dean isn’t used to hunting anymore and he has to ease back into it. So he does some research, oftentimes that means he has to go out, find a library or a place with computers since they definitely don’t have the money to buy one, and Dean has to stay inside the cabin, alone, and he doesn’t know what to do with his time.

He’s tried doing nothing, just lay on the couch and watch TV with a beer in hand but he’s not enjoying it. He feels restless. The days are just long and boring and he just can’t do nothing anymore, he has to find something to do.

He finds a little coffee shop, in the town closest to the cabin, and so he settles inside and orders coffee and pancakes. This one has computers, which is good because at first he thought it would be a good idea to at least help Sam finding small cases for them to work on. But his mind drifted to Gabriel while he was waiting for his order, like it often does, and he came up with an idea. Maybe not a good one, but at least he can’t say he’s bored anymore.

When the idea came to him, he just stared at the search engine bar for a few minutes, trying to come up with something to type. Then, after making sure nobody was around to see what he was typing, he entered the four letters into the bar. B. D. S. M. Then ‘enter’.

And okay, maybe he shouldn’t have done that in public. But he can’t help it. He wants to see if what they did was okay or not. Because Sam can’t stop rambling about how unhealthy that whole thing was, especially since Dean told him a little about what happened between him and the angel (no details, but Sam wanted to make sure he hadn’t been hurt). Dean kept the ‘relationship’ talk for himself though. It’s not something he’s particularly happy to remember.

So he started reading everything he could find, and the least he can say is that it’s educational. Gabriel is not into the SM part of the whole thing, not that Dean could see at least, so he restrained his search to the B part, with a side of D/s. God, he hates acronyms! And why is the ‘s’ lower-cased? Like it’s something less than the D, is that it? It’s kind of pissing him off a little. It occurs to him that it’s not very submissive of him to think that. But fuck it. He’s not. He’s not submissive. Maybe he was with Gabriel. Or maybe it was because of the whole ‘master’ thing. That’s a kink too, he learned. And he finds that kind of fucked up since some people are really living it and have some pretty shitty masters. But to each their own, he guesses. Maybe some free men find that cool. Maybe some of them like to remember where they came from? He doesn’t even know. And okay, maybe, just maybe, he liked it too.

People are confused about safe words, too. He sides with the people who can’t do without. He knows Gabriel agrees with people who say it’s not necessary. But eh, Dean thinks, nobody can agree on anything about this, so it’s another thing that he can’t really clear out, not even thanks to the internet.

They say people should talk about it before they get into that kind of sexual fantasies. They also say a sort of contract should be written beforehand. Well, Gabriel did that. Not before the first time though. He fucked up a bit on that, but maybe he’s not used to people second-guessing him on how he chooses to have sex. At least he made Dean read through a list of stuff to see what was okay or not, so that’s a good point. Dean won’t tell Sam about the first few times obviously, but he can tell him at least Gabriel cared about what Dean was scared of or not.

He’s a bit confused when he first comes across talks about ‘sub space’. People seem to agree that it’s the same thing as what he himself calls ‘head space’ but he’s not sure. He thinks there’s a difference, because he sure as hell didn’t felt like what people are describing. So he decides they’re two different things. ‘Sub space’ sounds like being half high, half drunk, and he’s kind of disappointed he never got to reach that state of mind. ‘Head space’ is how he feels when Gabriel and him did stuff. Like how he felt like he was ready for anything Gabriel could come up with, how he almost needed even the crazier stuff after a point. Basically, it’s almost like becoming another person, with different needs. But it doesn’t make him feel like he’s on drugs, just different. Maybe once at the beginning he had a bit of an out-of-body experience like people described on the website he’s on but that’s it.

The ‘sub drop’ thing surprises him. At least it explains why he kind of broke down that one time with Gregory. But he never felt as bad as what people describe, so he thinks it’s probably different for everyone. Like the ‘head space’ thing. He moves on.

He sees that sometimes it’s actually not about sex. And he’s surprised, really, when he sees the list of things people do that they consider as being part of their scenes. Like doing chores, for one thing. Dean doesn’t really get it, but he reads that some people find a great satisfaction in relieving their dominant from trivial tasks that would just stress them out otherwise. And maybe if he thinks about it he can understand, a little, but he doesn’t think he’d like to do that himself. Not for Gabriel anyway. Because that’s what he did most of the time, that was part of being a real life slave, and it’s not something he particularly enjoyed doing.

With a shrug he closes this tab, and comes back to the sexy part of the lifestyle.

He learns about a lot of kinks he’s glad Gabriel never told him about (what the fuck is ‘watersport’? There was an image under the words but he barely caught a glimpse and he’s still not sure he wants to know). Then he learns about some type of rope bondage that he’s a bit jealous of. He wants to try some of them so bad he feels his blood start to go down at the thought of it. There’s one in the ‘suspension’ category that looks really relaxing. Or at least the girl demonstrating looks like she could fall asleep like this.

After that he has to close all the tabs or else he’s going to get an impressive boner, and he doesn’t want that. Not here, not when he’s sitting facing the counter. The young girl behind it would probably freak out and call the cops. And his time is almost up anyway and he doesn’t have any change on him to pay for another hour.

With a sigh he turns the computer off, puts his jacket on and leaves. He knows he’s going to get bored very quickly again once he’ll get home so he stops by a small shop and buys some detergents. The smell of mold is getting annoying and he just can’t fucking stand the dust anymore.

When he’s back to the cabin he starts right away. He gets rid of all the dust first, cleans the floor, the pieces of furniture, the curtains even. The awful smell mostly comes from the floor so he fills a bucket with hot water and detergent and falls on his knees, scrubbing the floor with a brush he found somewhere in the basement. He scrubs every inch until it’s shines and he’s half-way done, sweat dripping down his brow when the door opens. He only turns around when he hears a slow whistle that’s definitely not coming from Sam.

Ruby is standing in the doorway, Sam behind her, looking curiously over her shoulder. She’s smirking, looking around.

“Hey there, Cinderella!” She says.

Dean ignores her and starts scrubbing again.

“If you put dirt on my floor I’ll kill you.” He growls back at her.

He hears Sam huff a laugh and he’s suddenly pissed that his brother chooses to laugh at him rather than defend him. But he tries not to let it show and he keeps going.

“Come on, Dean. We brought burgers.” Sam beams.

And yeah, that’s it, that’s the only thing that could stop him in the middle of his cleaning spree. Burgers. It’s been so fucking long he feels his mouth watering at the thought. He gets up promptly and he doesn’t care that Ruby’s here, he let himself fall heavily in one of the chair with a satisfied groan and digs into the bag his brother just brought.

He moans loudly around the first bite of his double bacon cheese burger, which earn him a disgusted look from Sam. It’s so good he’s not sure it’s the same recipe as before. He would have remembered surely. There’s sauce dripping on his chin but he doesn’t care. It tastes amazing. He wonders how he was able to live without it for so long.

“So…” Sam starts, sounding falsely innocent.

It stops Dean mid-chewing. Sam only takes that tone when he knows he’s going to say something Dean won’t like.

“Ruby and I…” Sam goes on. “We’re going to be away for a couple days.”

He’s avoiding Dean’s eyes and Ruby is staring at him like she can’t wait to jump him. Oh.

“Dude. I don’t wanna know.” Dean says, mouth still half full.

He can pretend he doesn’t mind. God knows Sam needs a bit of fun, even if it’s with someone like Ruby. Thing is, Dean feels lonely. He wishes Sam would spend a bit more time with him. They’ve been away from each other for so long, and Sam keeps working on his research, away from Dean, as if there wasn’t a 5 months gap in their usual routine. But okay, he gets it. Sam wants to get laid, he of all people can understand that. So he shuts his mouth, and he winks at Sam when Ruby isn’t looking. It makes Sam blush, and Dean laughs.

His brother still looks a bit guilty though, so he swallows everything down before he opens his mouth again.

“S’okay, Sammy.” He looks pointedly around the cabin. “This is going to take a while.”

Dean sees tension leak out of Sam’s shoulder and his brother huffs.

“You don’t need to do that.” He says, planting his fork angrily in the middle of his salad. “It’s not that dirty.”

And he looks a little vexed even.

“I just can’t sit here doing nothing.” Dean answers.

He finishes his burger and wipes his hands on his jeans.

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t. I kinda feel guilty when I don’t do anything. I’m not used to it anymore.”

Ruby snorts. She’d been oddly silent for the last minute, but of course it wasn’t going to last.

“Look who’s a good little bitch now.” She beams. “You know my car needs a wash. I can’t wait to see you in a mini short.”

“Fuck off!”

“Aw, come on! I know I don’t have a dick but I can find something if you need a little motivation.”

He stands up abruptly, ready to punch her in her smug little face.

 “Cut it off!!”

Sam’s voice rings in the little cabin and cuts Dean before he can reply. Ruby closes her mouth too and the smirk disappears from her face. Dean sits down again. He doesn’t comment on the fact that she knows what he did at the mansion, even if he wants to. He thought Sam would keep his mouth shut on this. Maybe that means he doesn’t see it as a big deal. But still.

“Can you at least pretend you don’t hate each other’s guts for five minutes?” Sam goes on, looking between them both. “Is that too much to ask?”

Dean and Ruby share a glance, and they look at Sam.

“Sorry.” Ruby says.

She puts her hand on the back of Sam’s neck and strokes the skin there with her thumb. Sam huffs, but he relaxes as she keeps touching him. Dean feels awkward. Imagining Sam having sex is one thing. One very disgusting, uncomfortable thing. But seeing a girl actually touching him is worse.

He clears his throat.

“Yeah, sorry.” He half-whispers.

Ruby finally takes her hand away and it gets a little easier to breathe suddenly. Really, he knows Sam is an adult now, but Dean will just never get used to the fact that he also has a sex life. And now that he thinks about it, it’s probably what Sam felt when he first learned about him and Gabriel. Dean really can’t imagine his brother with another guy, that’s for sure. What if he had been the one being captured? Oh and yeah, right there, that’s an image he absolutely did not want to get. He tries to forget about it. And anyways, even if Sam had been the one being sentenced to slavery, Gabriel would have done the same thing. He would have asked before he did anything. And Sam would have probably said no. He would have said no, right?

Dean tries very hard not to picture the night Gabriel first touched him with Sam in his place. He doesn’t know why he’s thinking about that. Maybe because he feels like a third wheel with Ruby and Sam touching each other in front of him.

“… With us, Dean?”

Dean blinks and looks up. He realizes he’s been staring at a random spot on the table as he was rambling to himself.

“Yeah. Sorry. I’m tired.” He lies.

Sam is smiling again. He keeps chatting at Dean until he’s done with his salad and fries, and finally he and Ruby pack a bag and leave. Dean finds himself all alone, in the middle of the afternoon, and really he starts to miss his time at Gabriel’s. Not the ‘being locked up’ part, but everything else. The way he didn’t have to think twice about what he could do with his days. How he was always surrounded by people. How his bed was soft and warm and welcoming when he went to sleep. Not like his actual bed here. That thing feels like it’s made of concrete. He misses how everything was simple and how he felt wanted and even loved. Now he’s alone, again. Because Sam left, again.

He decides keeping himself occupied will help him feel less alone, help him shake the feeling off. He feels guilty for even thinking this. He knows Sam went through a lot of trouble to get him right here, and he’s just trying to help people. That’s why he’s always researching things, trying to come up with small cases not too far so that Dean can get back into the business of ganking monsters.

He gets back to washing the floor, but it doesn’t take him as long as he thought. He eats some pizza left-over he found in the fridge and sat on the couch in front of the TV, feeling bored and alone again. And after a while he gets angry. He doesn’t need to ease back into hunting, he’s been doing it since he was able to hold a gun. Who does Sam think he is? And Dean just took it, like the big idiot he is. He’s the big brother here, he should be the one making the decisions.

And they have an important case they have to take care of. Angels died, people died. Archangels died even, so really someone has to end this. He doesn’t need training wheels. He can do this.

He gets up from the couch, finds their maps, a stack of blank papers his old notes on the case and an old bottle of whisky and he sits back on the couch, laying everything down around him. It takes him a bit of time, but he locates every single place in the country where a killing took place. He draws little crosses there, writes down what he remembers seeing when Gabriel did the same thing, and what Castiel told him about the murders. He looks at it for a while, trying to see a pattern, or a clue. But he doesn’t find anything, and by the time he looks up everything is dark outside.

Just looking around makes him feel dizzy and he looks down at the bottle of alcohol on the floor next to his foot. It’s almost empty. He’s drunk. He can feel it. He lets out a breath and sits back, feeling exhausted suddenly. There is no pattern to the murders, and he doesn’t remember which Archangels died in other parts of the world, and even if he did he doesn’t know which district they rule, so it’s pointless. Everything feels pointless. The only thing he knows is that Raphael died first. Maybe he ought to take a look at his house, go have a look around in his district. Preferably before Lucifer claims it as his own.

He sighs and looks up at the ceiling. There’s a spider there. It’s not moving or anything, but Dean can’t get his eyes off it. He can’t find the courage to stand up and kill it. He’s too drunk for that. He just doesn’t feel like moving anymore. Slowly, he lets himself slide along the couch until his head hit the little pillow there, and he settles on his back, one arm behind his head, the other on his stomach.

He wonders what Gabriel is doing. Is he looking for Dean? Or for another guy, probably. Why would he give two fucks about Dean, especially now? He must be real pissed anyway. He must hate Dean now. Thinking about it doesn’t hurt as much as it did the night before Dean left. But it still makes Dean’s stomach clench. He wishes he could explain himself. Tell Gabriel it wasn’t against him or anything, but he couldn’t stay. It was nice while it lasted but really, he isn’t meant to be locked up. He needs to be free and do whatever the fuck he likes and even if he thinks they could have had something it would never have worked in that setting. Dean as a slave, and Gabriel as his master. Maybe if they’d met in other circumstances… But they didn’t, and Dean can’t explain all this so there’s no point in thinking about it, really.

Or maybe…

His heart starts hammering in his chest as he thinks about how he could explain. He could pray, simple as that. And that Balthazar guy said no angel could find him until he gave an address, right? It’s a bad idea, he knows it, but he’s too wasted to care.

He sits up, waiting a few seconds until the dizziness goes away and he clears his throat.

“Okay…” He licks his lips. “Uh… Gabriel?”

Wait no, isn’t he supposed to say something more formal? How can he do this? He’s never been to church, he really doesn’t know how to do this but at least he can try to make it less… Less Dean?

“I pray to thee, O mighty Archangel Gabriel!” He declaims.

And he can’t help but snorts and laugh at himself.

“What the fuck am I doing…” He whispers.

He shakes his head. Really, that was a dumb idea. He lets himself fall back, both hands on his stomach. He needs to sleep, and the thoughts will go away.

~*~

Gabriel is slouching in his couch, looking into the fire, the pleasant buzz of alcohol running through his veins, and he’s good. There’s a deep sadness still in his heart, he feels it, it aches in the most troubling way, but it’s good. It’s good to be hurting because if he didn’t he wouldn’t have the strength to do what he’s about to do.

He hears the sound of wings behind him, light and almost careful and he knows who it is without having to turn around.

“Hey Cas.”

There’s movement in his peripheral vision and he sees Castiel walking to him until he’s standing in front of him, looking down at the bottle of whisky on the floor.

“Hi Gabriel.” Cas says.

There’s no emotion in his voice, just like always, and Gabriel is grateful that Cas isn’t angry at him or trying to make him stop mopping. He doesn’t want to. He wants to feel the sadness spreading and he wants to wallow in his feelings one good time so that he can forget about them and be cured of all those human emotions once and for all.

“You called?” Castiel asks when he sees that Gabriel isn’t speaking.

Gabriel nods. He takes a piece of folded paper out of his pants pocket and hands it to Cas. Castiel opens it, reads it and he raises an eyebrow at Gabriel.

“That’s a lot of money…” He says, carefully. “I know you were… fond of Dean, but isn’t that a bit much?”

Gabriel just waves his concern away.

“I don’t need you to tell me what to do with my money, I need you to spread the word. So just… go out there, tell people if they bring me Dean back I’ll reward them. And do it fast.”

Castiel stands still for a few seconds, but finally he sighs and put the piece of paper in his coat pocket.

“Fine. Don’t drink too much.”

He sounds a bit angrier than before and he disappears, the sound of his wings a little louder this time. Gabriel is relieved that he didn’t try to dissuade him. He can’t do anything else anyway. He’s just following Lucifer’s orders. He has to, because he’s the only one that can help.

“ _Gabriel?_ ”

He freezes.

“ _I pray to thee, O mighty Archangel Gabriel!_ ”

It’s Dean’s voice, right in his head, praying to him.

Dean snorts and Gabriel hears his laugh echo in his mind. It makes Gabriel’s heart flutter inside his chest and he can’t move. He can only stay still, half-lying down, one hand on the back of his couch. He tunes every other voices he could have been hearing and focuses on Dean’s prayer.

“ _What the fuck am I doing…_ ” Dean says.

And then nothing. Gabriel feels anger coming up, Dean’s voice bringing back memories of things he lied about. He sinks back in the couch, bringing his arms close to his chest. Dean is probably trying to gloat about how he was able to escape so easily. Gabriel can’t believe it.

“ _I uh… Okay, I don’t know if it’s even going to work anyway but uh… Hi_.” Comes Dean’s voice again.

And he doesn’t sound smug, he doesn’t sound like he’s mocking Gabriel, he just sounds… Well, he sounds like Dean. It’s so familiar, Gabriel doesn’t know what to do. He tries to pinpoint Dean’s location but he can’t. It’s like trying to see through fog, or catch a fish in water. It just slips away as soon as he thinks he’s got something. He’s warded then. Gabriel stops looking.

Dean laughs again. “ _I have to warn you, I’m wasted so… uh… Maybe I shouldn’t do that- That praying thing, but what the hell, right? I just…”_ He huffs, frustrated. _“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry._ ”

There’s a silence, and Gabriel feels one very clear, very pure feeling of loss coming through the link between them. He relaxes, closes his eyes and let the voice fill his head.

“ _I mean, Sam he’s… He’s my brother, you know? I thought he was dead, I really did but when he showed up I… Just… I had no choice, ya know? I uh… Shit. Shit, I’m gonna puke… Wait…_ ”

Another silence. Gabriel can’t help but huff a laugh at that. But he schools his face right away. He can’t laugh, he can’t let Dean manipulate him again.

“ _Okay, false alert. This is totally your fault by the way… I was to-totally able to hold my liquor before you cut me off, y’know? I mean, beer is still okay but anything stronger just… I get drunk with like, half a bottle, that’s totally disgraceful. So, not cool!_ ”

Gabriel tries very hard not to smile at that. He can’t be smiling. He can’t be feeling pleasure at hearing Dean’s voice. The only thing he can maybe allow himself to feel is anger. And that’s it.

“ _So… What was I saying? Oh, yeah… Crap, I’m… I was saying I’m sorry and really, Gabe… I mean, Gabriel. I mean… I don’t care actually, you know what? It suits you. Imma call you Gabe from now on, can I do that?_ ”

“No you can’t…” Gabriel mumbles, raising an eyebrow.

But Dean can’t hear him, and he goes on.

“ _I mean, of course I can I’m free and all that shit. So yeah_. _I can call you whatever I like. Like, Buttercup. Or Short Stuff. This one’s still my favorite.”_ Dean chuckles again, then he sighs. “ _Anyways._ _I’m… I’ve been thinking, you know, I mean I’m drunk so maybe it’s not good thinking but anyway… What we had… It was nice. Not perfect, obviously, with all the master thing and… all the slavery. And I wish we could have met differently, because… Because… The sex, for one thing. Great, great sex. I shouldn’t… That’s not what I wanted to say. I mean we could have been something, you know? But not like this. It’s just wrong, you get that?_ ”

He doesn’t. He doesn’t see where Dean is going with all this.

“ _I never had a concrete relationship before but I’m pretty sure that you need to be on equal grounds with your… uh, partner. For one thing. That’s… You can’t make it work if you’re not equal, y’know what I mean? That’s just…_ ” He lets out a long breath. “ _I’m rambling. I just… Okay I can’t keep doing that because you probably hate me anyway and I can’t just talk to you like this forever, so… I’m sorry, I really am. I couldn’t have stayed, not when I knew Sam was out there. I’m not that guy, I’m not what you think I am so… It’s better this way, you know? You’ll forget about me soon and get another guy who’ll do everything you tell him to do and who won’t complain or ask for a safe word or whatever, and it’ll be alright. I know it will. I’m… Sorry. Shit. Sorry._ ”

The link fades, and Gabriel knows Dean cut the connection. He opens his eyes and stares into the fire, his heart hammering in his chest. He feels sadness and anger and betrayal is still rearing its ugly head in the back of his mind but he’s also… Content? Maybe relieved. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what to feel. He doesn’t want to feel anything anymore.


	10. What's in a name?

Waking up the first thing Dean notices is the hard throbbing in his head. Then the nausea sets in and he groans. So yeah, he probably shouldn’t have gotten wasted last night. He wonders why-

Oh… shit. Shit. Crap. Did he… He didn’t… Holy fuck, he prayed to Gabriel. It comes back, vividly, and he remembers absolutely everything he said and he’s absolutely mortified. He opens his eyes wide, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. He doesn’t dare move. Shit. He even gave Gabriel a pet name and everything. Fucking shit. He’s so fucked.

“Rise and shine, Baby!” Ruby calls out from the living room.

Sitting up, he blinks a few times until the room stops spinning. Ruby opens the door wide and he’s momentarily blinded by the morning sun, but he sees the shape of Sam crossing the living room, pushing someone toward the basement. Someone who’s… tied up? What the fuck?

He looks up at Ruby.

“What the fuck?”

And why are they back so early? Sam said a couple of days… They couldn’t have gotten that far. And if they brought something in here that means they didn’t have much time to do the dirty before they ran into trouble. Sam is going to be in a bad mood, Dean can tell…

“We got ourselves a demon who knows a thing or two about angels getting killed!” Ruby beams, “Move your ass, princess, it’s interrogation time!”

She saunters happily away, following Sam down into the basement. Dean lets himself fall back on the bed again. So, he’s going to get back into the business faster than he’d even hoped. That’s good. He’s still feeling a bit apprehensive, but he knows it’s going to go away pretty quickly. Throwing the comforter on the side, he pushes himself up until he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. He rubs the palm of his hands against his eyes, yawns and let his arms fall at his side, looking around. He’s so hung-over. He shouldn’t have drunk that much last night, but talking to Gabriel was nice, even if Gabriel couldn’t answer.

Gabriel. _Gabe_. He snorts, thinking about that. But yeah, he’s going to call him that from now on. Even if it’s only in his head, he feels a chill of excitement run up his body thinking about how defiant it is to shorten the Archangel’s name.

His throbbing headache reminds him he wants to grab an aspirin, a coffee and maybe a shower to try and rid his body of the last effects of the alcohol. Then he needs to join Sam and his GF, and apparently help them torture a demon. Right.

He sighs, looking at the pile of clothes at his feet. He looks down at himself. He’s only wearing boxer shorts, but there’s no sign that he threw up all over himself, so that’s good. Reluctantly he stands up, stretches out and puts on the pants and t-shirt he wore yesterday.

He slowly gets out of the room, dragging his feet to fetch himself a cup of coffee. After that he spends a bit of time in the bathroom, staying in the shower more than usual, nearly brushing the enamel off his teeth because his mouth tastes like ass. He changes his shirt several times because he’s not sure he likes his old clothes anymore. Everything looks weird when he looks in the mirror. Finally he comes back into the kitchen and finds the bottle of painkillers hidden behind the coffee pot. He hesitates a little, looking at the bottle, and finally decides to take two. He’s not sure of his tolerance anymore, but two is not too much, and he knows one just won’t do. He still feels a bit light-headed, even if the shower cleared his head a little, so he pours himself another cup of that awful coffee Sam likes to buy and sips at it slowly.

It occurs to him that he might be stalling a bit. He doesn’t know why. Maybe he’s a bit anxious about having a demon downstairs. Maybe it’s just because it’s been a while. He doesn’t have time for much introspection though, because Sam and Ruby emerge from the basement and lock the door behind them. Sam looks really unhappy. Ruby’s bright blue shirt has a bit of blood on it.

“He won’t talk,” Sam spits.

He sits furiously at the table in front of Dean.

“Told you Cas already tried everything.”

Sam raises an eyebrow at him when he hears the nickname.

“Yeah, well, I had to try anyway. I don’t trust Castiel. I don’t trust any angel. We don’t trust angels, remember?”

And here it goes again. They’ve been having this argument every day since Dean came back.

“Some of them aren’t huge dicks. I told you that, too.”

Ruby looks between the two of them, her arms crossed on her chest. She sighs.

“We’re going to need a lot more alcohol for this…” she says, grabbing her jacket and walking out.

She probably doesn’t want to stay here listening to them tear at each other’s throat. Sam barely glances at her before he turns to Dean again.

“Besides,” Dean says before Sam has time to open his mouth. “You were in there for like, what? An hour? You’re good Sam, but not that good. Give it time. Sonovabitch will talk, believe me.”

Sam huffs, but he doesn’t press on. Dean doesn’t want to fight again, so he’s happy about that. He doesn’t want to talk about angels, he doesn’t want to have that argument again. Sam is stubborn, he’s adamant about this, and he just won’t change his mind, especially now that he’s involved with those people from the SRM. And what sort of a name is that anyway? Slave Rights Movement. As if slaves had rights. Once he tried telling Sam that, but Sam just looked at him like he had just killed a basket full of puppies in front of him and had explained in great length how the name was more of a symbolic way to give people hope. To show them that there were going to be rights, eventually. Someday. That they were going to be respected as human beings, blah blah blah. But Dean stopped listening after a while. Sam’s never been there, and he won’t understand that slaves don’t give two shits about their rights. All they care for is staying alive, maybe.

Jess explained what happened to her when she was with her former master. He didn’t rape her or anything, and Dean is thankful for that because he loves Jess like a sister and he can’t bear to even think about something like that happening to her. But he beat on her all the time, and the things he did to her… Just thinking about it makes Dean’s blood boil.

And her owner wasn’t a demon. He was an angel, a regular one. The soldier type, too occupied with his missions from Heaven to even care about humans. And Gabriel rescued her from that. Her former master sold her because one beating went too far and she couldn’t walk anymore. She was useless. She was sure she wasn’t going to be sold, and the people at the Market were going to kill her after a while. That’s what they do with slaves they can’t sell.

Does Sam know that? He doubts it.

But anyway Gabriel came and healed her. He could, because he had the extra juice the other angel didn’t have, since he’s an archangel and all. It took a few days, but he asked the Market to keep her safe and alone. He came by every day to help her recover.

Dean’s not going to tell Sam this story, because it took Jess some time to open up to him, and he’s pretty sure she only tells people she trusts about this. He thinks, maybe, Sam would have been the type of person she could have opened up to. He probably wouldn’t understand why they all feel so indebted to Gabriel though. How could he? He’s never been there, and Dean hopes he never will. And that’s nice of Sam, really, that he tries to help the people enslaved, but there are things that he can’t know, can’t understand. Dean wishes he would just quit with all his revolutionary talk already. Dean hates the SRM. Sam said he never met a former slave when he went to their meetings. They’re just a bunch of free people who think it’s so cool to be all outraged about things, but they can’t do anything about it. And those who try just make things worse. They’re just a bunch of hippies craving for a fight. They want to be seen as heroes.

They don’t know what they’re talking about. There’s nothing heroic about taking a slave out of the ‘clutch of their master’. Most slaves are born in the life. What does the SRM want these newly freed slaves to do once they’re out? They can’t get a regular job, can’t go to school because most of them can’t read. The SRM just gives them brochures and sends them out there in the world, sometimes they find them accommodations but once again, they don’t have a job, how can they be expected to pay bills, pay for food and clothes?

After a while Sam moves from his seat and goes back downstairs. It takes Dean out of his thoughts, and he tries to ease the anger he feels coming. It’s not Sam’s fault, he knows that. He needs to calm down, take his nerves out on something else. Like a demon for example. Good idea.

He gets up and joins Sam. The demon is wearing an old truck driver, from what Dean can see. He’s still wearing the baseball cap with the logo from a transport company, and he even has a name tag. Phil. There’s some grease on the front of his thick woolen shirt. The only thing that shows he’s not a regular dude is the sick smile spreading on his face as he turns to look at Dean.

“Are we gonna play again?”

Dean feels the rage building up slowly just looking at the guy’s eyes turning black.

He and Sam work him good, for another hour, until they hear the front door opening upstairs. The demon hasn’t talked, yet. He keeps the sick smile on as they hit him, dose him with holy water, tear at him with their angel blades. He laughs and laughs and Dean is seriously pissed now.

They take a break and head upstairs. Ruby is there, with a pack of beer, a bottle of tequila and a bottle of whisky on the table. But the look on her face is all but happy and ready to party.

“What?” Sam asks.

And Dean has confirmation that it’s not just him. Something is wrong. She eyes Dean, then her gaze turns back to Sam.

“There’s trouble,” She simply says.

Taking a piece of paper out of her pocket, Ruby hands it to Sam. He leans toward Dean so they can read it together. It’s a simple note, written on a piece of napkin. The type of note hunters give each other when they want to be discreet. It reads ‘Dean Winchester. Alive. Report to angel Castiel.’ And a string of numbers Dean has no idea what to make of.

“What is it? Coordinates? Phone number?”

Because he truly doesn’t see what else it could be. But there are too many numbers for it to be coordinates. And it looks weird for a phone number. It’s almost exclusively made of zeros. Maybe it’s a code.

“It’s a reward,” Ruby answers, exasperated.

She looks at Dean like he’s the stupidest man on earth. Dean looks at Sam. His brother’s eyebrows have disappeared into his hairline.

“What do you mean a reward?” He says again.

Because, there are so many numbers, so many zeros. He doesn’t understand.

“The price on your head, dumbass.”

And okay, now his own eyebrows shoot up.

“No way!” He laughs.

Sam just keeps looking at the paper.

“Yes way, princess.” Ruby goes on, taking her jacket off. “I wish I had a dick so I could see if your ass is really worth that much.”

But she’s not smiling, even as she makes the joke. Dean doesn’t have the strength to be offended. It’s surreal. He doesn’t know if he should feel flattered or terrified that Gabriel is willing to pay that much to have him back. It doesn’t make any sense.

“I don’t get it,” He finally lets out.

Because really, he doesn’t.

“Means we have to get out of here. There’s also a picture of you going around, and people have seen your face here,” Ruby answers.

Sam is still silent. He puts the piece of napkin on the table and crosses his arms on his chest.

“We can’t risk moving the demon with us.”

“Let’s get him talking then,” Dean says.

He just wants to do something that he’s familiar with. Everything is just too weird right now. Sam nods. They all go down to the basement again.

~*~

They give up around midnight. The demon is just not talking, and they ran out of ideas to make him spit out a name at least. They’re all frustrated, and Sam is getting angrier as the hours pass. So they walk up, leaving their prisoner where he is, bound and trapped. Desperate and exhausted, they decide that drinking might help them find a better idea for getting answers out of him.

 Dean had been thinking about the reward thing as he watched his brother and his girl torture the demon. It made him increasingly angry. He’s angry that’s he’s going to have to leave a place that had just started to feel like home again. He was good here. He was thinking about taking his old job at the garage again and now everything’s ruined. He still doesn’t understand the amount of money on his head. Sam and Ruby don’t seem affected though, they’re starting to look at each other like they want to tear each other’s clothes off and Dean’s getting uncomfortable.

After they all downed the bottle of tequila, even if Dean knows Tequila is always a bad idea, Sam and Ruby start kissing on the couch next to Dean. He tries really hard to focus on the TV and not look at them, but after a while when he hears a moan coming out of Sam’s mouth he just can’t take it anymore. Clearing his throat loudly, he stares at them until they realize what they’re doing. Granted, they’re all drunk, Dean too, but it’s no reason to fuck right next to him. There’s no amount of alcohol that could ever make Dean forget that Sam is his brother. Really, he doesn’t want to know anything about his sex life.

Sam looks up and gives Dean an apologetic drunken smile, but Ruby grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him into another heated kiss.

“Come on, get a room,” Dean exclaims.

“Good idea…” Ruby mewls.

She gets up and drags Sam by an arm to the bedroom. Their bedroom. The room he and Sam share. Great. Now he’s gonna have to sleep on the couch. He can get that getting all violent on a demon can be exciting, maybe get your adrenaline high enough that it makes you hot but really, here, and now? That’s just what he needed, really. And now he feels hot too. Like, really, physically hot. He takes off his long sleeve shirt and lies down on his side, facing the TV. He’s slightly dizzy but it’s good so far, it’s not too much. He knows nausea is going to come soon, because hello, Tequila! But for now he feels pleasantly drunk. And that’s the thing. He’s too drunk to just sit alone and do nothing. Watching TV makes him want to puke. He sighs and turns on his back.

Okay, no, he doesn’t want to think about last night. He really doesn’t want to, but telling himself that just makes it impossible to chase the thought away. He really doesn’t want to make a habit of drunk-praying to Gabe. That’s not cool. Really not cool. Especially now that he knows Gabriel wants him back really, really bad. But no, he’s not going to do that again. He can’t, not when he hears Ruby getting really vocal in there, that’s just wrong. And yeah, she’s hot so maybe he’s getting half-hard just hearing her voice but it’s wrong. He hates her anyway, it’s just biological response, he’s not going to act on it, and he’s certainly not going to speak to Gabriel because he’s a bit horny.

Nope.

He turns on his side again, eyes fixed on the TV. He tries to focus on it, he really tries. He resists the urge to reach down and jerk off. He can do it. He’s not a dog, for fuck’s sake!

He can do it. He knows he can.

~*~

He sees the sun coming up through the windows. He hasn’t slept. Ruby and Sam made too much noise, and they just stopped a few minutes ago. Dean feels like he’s about to explode. He’s pitching a serious tent here, but he doesn’t want to do anything about it because it feels wrong. He’s not turned on because he heard his brother and that bitch going at it. He’s turned on because he’s been trying to distract himself from the noise and the only place his mind took him was the playroom. And he tried really hard not to think about Gabriel’s hand on his body, Gabriel’s tongue on him, but he just couldn’t help it. He needs to stop, seriously. They’re never going to see each other again, and he needs to get used to it.

But anyway he can’t sleep now, and the furious boner he’s sporting is just not going away so he gets up and almost runs into the bathroom. Shucking off his clothes he jumps into the shower, sucking in a stuttering breath as the cold water runs on his body.

“Come on…” He whispers, looking down at his rock hard dick.

He can’t believe himself. The cold water isn’t working. He turns the hot water tap, adding to the cold. He knows he needs some sort of release because his body is used to it. He can jerk off. It’s okay… as long as he doesn’t think about Gabriel. There’s nothing to fear. It’s okay. He can because he’s free. He does what he wants with his own body. He doesn’t see why he should still feel like somehow it’s forbidden. He knows it’s an implicit rule he had at the mansion, after he and Gabriel had their first fight. After Christmas. God, he shouldn’t think about it!

He shouldn’t think about the way Gabriel pinned him to his desk like it was nothing. He shouldn’t just let his forehead rest on the tiles, parting his leg as if he was getting ready to get properly fucked. He shouldn’t let his hand run down his stomach until the tip of his fingers graze his dick. He shouldn’t, he knows, but he does as he remembers how Gabriel gasped in his ear when he first pushed into Dean’s ass. He starts stroking himself, as slowly as he can to make it real good, and he closes his eyes, letting his imagination take over. He keeps his mouth closed, only breathing shakily through his nose in rhythm with his hand and he keeps going.

He thinks about the first time Gabriel touched him. He thinks about how it felt to have the angel’s hot hand on him, spreading pre-cum all over, and he does what he can remember Gabriel doing and he can’t help but open his mouth, letting out a grunt. He can hear Gabriel’s voice in his head. _You’re about to come, aren’t you?_

“Yes!” He exhales, realizing only now he was holding his breath. “Fuck!”

He tries to keep his voice low because he doesn’t want to wake up Sam. He’s used to jerking off discreetly in motels’ bathrooms. After all they spent their teenage years on the road, so he knows Sam did it too. But right now it feels forbidden, excitingly so, and he feels like it will ruin everything if he’s discovered.

 _Well you can’t. I haven’t said you could_ , Gabriel’s voice says. He strokes harder, his hand sliding up and down his length faster. The pleasure is here, familiar, grounding. It feels so good, so good and he can’t stop. He has to hold himself to the wall with his other hand because the pleasure building slowly inside him is making him tremble all over, his knees so weak he’s barely holding up.

“Fuck!” He gasps again.

_Are you going to be a good boy, Dean?_

“Yes, fuck, yes…”

He’s going so fast his biceps hurts but he’s so close he doesn’t care. He keeps going and going until the orgasm is right here, his pleasure ready to reach its peak. And he holds it. He holds it until he has to bite on his lower lip to prevent himself from whimpering out loud.

_Now Dean. Come for me, now!_

“Fucking shit!” He breathes as he comes.

His whole body convulses once and he keeps stroking until it hurts and he finally lets go. He’s panting and he feels so dizzy he has to sit down in the middle of the shower.

Slowly, he opens his eyes. The water, deliciously warm now, runs along his body, washing away the evidence of what he just did. Fuck. That was… Surprisingly awesome. He feels better, almost refreshed, even if now he’s light-headed and his stomach is growling weirdly. He knows he’s going to puke soon. What did he say to himself last night? Yeah, tequila, that’s right. Never stays down for long. So he stands up on shaky legs, washes himself as fast as he can and gets out.

He’s proud that he only threw up twice, but now he feels the hangover coming again on top of the one he was nursing yesterday. Great. He feels more relaxed than he’s been in a week, though, and he catches himself whistling as he pours himself a cup of coffee. The TV is still running so he sits on the couch in front of it, watching the morning programs without really paying attention.

He’s thinking about the demon in his basement now. Castiel – Cas, he said he was going to call him Cas from now on, too- said they feared death less than they feared whoever it was that pulled the strings of the whole thing. Obviously he’d say that. He bets Cas went all Mighty-Angel on their ass and threatened them maybe once or twice before he killed them. Obviously, he can do that effortlessly. He doesn’t even need an angel blade, he just has to puts his hands on them and-

Yes, fucking yes. That’s it! He’s so stupid! How come he didn’t think of it before? If they’re scared of someone then it’s probably some high-level demon. Someone in Hell maybe? If they threaten to send his ass back to the pit, it would probably be more effective than just plain killing him, right? It’s a simple idea, probably a lame one but he needs to tell Sammy. Right the fuck now.

He puts his coffee down and runs to the bedroom door. He knocks furiously.

“Sammy!!”

He hears a grunt behind the door.

“Go away!” Ruby yells.

And that’s all the answer he needs. He throws the door open and stands there, a big smile on his face. Sam squints at him, looking groggy, his hair going in all directions. Ruby is holding the sheets tight around her breasts, as if Dean was going to assault her if he ever saw a boob peek out from under there. He snorts at that.

“I know how we can make the demon talk! Come on!”

He walks out, leaving the door wide open.

~*~

Ruby scoffs.

“That’s it? That’s your idea? Boy, I’m getting outta here…”

She walks back into the bedroom. Sam watches her go before he turns to Dean again.

“Are you sure it’s going to make a difference?”

“I don’t know but can we try, at least?”

Sam still looks dubious.

“Tell you what.” Dean goes on. “We try. If it doesn’t work we kill him and we capture another one on our way out of the district. What do you say? It’s worth a shot.”

Sam sighs and shakes his head.

“Okay… I just… Let me put some pants on…”

Ruby gets out of the bedroom and she’s all dressed. She grabs Sam by the neck and gives him a quick kiss.

“Call me when you got something,” She orders. “I’m gonna go ahead and clear the road for you. If I see an angel I’ll ring you.”

“Okay,” Sam whispers.

He smiles gently at her. She smiles back, gives Dean a smirk and heads out. Once she’s out Dean sees Sam is still standing where she stopped him, a goofy smile on his face. Awesome. His brother’s in love now, just what they needed.

Dean eyes him.

“Dude. Pants.”

Sam blinks like he’s getting out of a dream. He blushes slightly when he sees the expression on Dean’s face but he doesn’t say anything as he disappears into the bedroom.

They head down once Sam feels awake enough to do this and the demon laughs again when he sees them. He starts singing.

“ _Riiing around the roooses…_ ” A sick laugh escapes his mouth.

Dean walks as close to him as he can, his feet on the edge of the Devil’s Trap Sam drew.

“Who are you working for?” Dean asks for the hundredth time.

“Come on, I thought we were over this!” The demon exclaims dramatically. “I can’t tell you. Now go ahead, let’s start the fun already!”

Dean keeps his face straight and turns to Sam.

“Exorcizamus te”, Sam starts “Omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii…”

The demon’s smile disappears.

“What are you doing?”

“Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica…”

Dean sees the demon starts to panic and he wriggles against his restraints, his face contorted with barely concealed pain.

“STOP IT!!”

“Who are you working for?” Dean repeats, loud this time so the demon can hear him.

Sam keeps going. He looks murderous.

“Ergo draco maledicte…”

“STOP IT! I’LL TELL YOU, OKAY?!”

The demon starts screaming, he’s shaking violently like he’s pulled apart by some invisible forces.

“Et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te… »

Dean raises his hand and Sam stops. He leans forward, resting his weight with his hands on his knees and he smiles unhappily as he looks into the demon’s eyes.

“Who are you working for?”

“Alastair! His name is Alastair, okay? Now just stop! Kill me if you want to but don’t… Don’t do that!! Don’t send me back! Please!!”

He looks at Sam like Sam is the Devil himself. He only looks at Dean again when Dean opens his mouth.

“Alastair. Who’s that guy? Is he the one killing the archangels?”

“I don’t know okay? I don’t know. He’s big, he’s… He’s high up the food chain, I’m just a foot soldier. I don’t know!”

He looks at Sam again as he speaks, anxiety written all over his face. Dean feels like a weight lifted off his shoulder but he doesn’t show it.

“Who’s pulling the strings then?”

“I told you I don’t know! I don’t know anything!! Now kill me, do it!! Kill me!”

Dean straightens up and joins Sam. He sighs like he’s thinking about it and then nods at his brother.

“Eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare,” Sam starts again, “ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire.”

“NO! NO STOP IT! STOP I…“

The demon can’t talk now, his whole body arches back and he opens his mouth against his will.

“Te rogamus, audi nos,” Sam finishes.

Smoke starts coming out, burning as it reaches the ceiling and the demon’s scream fills the little room. It takes a few seconds but finally all the smoke has burned out, and the body of the truck driver slumps down heavily.

They did it. They have a name now.

“So, wasn’t that bad an idea, Right?” Dean beams at Sam.

Sam rolls his eyes.

~*~

They dumped the truck driver to the nearest hospital. He was still out when they did but at least he was alive, so Dean hopes he’s going to be okay. They hit the road right after. He’s driving with both his hands clutching tightly at the wheel, so tightly his knuckles are turning white. Sam eyes him from time to time, looking worried. He knows he’s gritting his teeth and he must be looking pissed, but he doesn’t want to pretend he’s fine. They had to leave their home, and he’s sick of it. He’s sick that every time he feels like he has something of his own it’s taken away from him one way or another.

“Dean, are you okay?” Sam asks after an hour.

Dean sighs. He doesn’t answer right away, but he finally turns the volume of the radio down and gives Sam a quick glance.

“Yeah, I’m fine I just… I’m just tired.”

He tries to relax his hold on the wheel as he straightens up in his seat. He hates this car. It smells like dog and baby poop.

“I know it’s tough but it’s for the best,” Sam says.

He knows what’s troubling Dean. Of course he knows. Dean scoffs.

“I know. I know Sammy, but that don’t mean I have to like it.”

Sam just stares at him some more, his eyebrows furrowed in worry but finally he looks down at his hands on his lap and he doesn’t say a word more. That’s good. Dean doesn’t want to talk. He just wants to feel pissed for a while, at demons, at angels, at Gabriel. He’s sure it’ll pass soon.

~*~

It’s been a week. They found another demon, interrogated him, but he didn’t know shit about Alastair. So they killed him this time. Or rather, Dean killed him. He had been itching for a good killing for a while now, so it felt good, but it only lasted so long. Sam is all worked up because Ruby hasn’t called him, and she isn’t answering her phone either.

They settled into a cheap motel room with only two beds, a table and a couple of chairs, a tiny bathroom with only space for a toilet, a sink and the smallest shower cabin Dean’s ever seen, but at least they stopped somewhere and Dean feels a little bit better eating his cheeseburger in a place that’s not the front seat of their car.

It’s dark outside now, the night is falling and Dean is arguing with Sam again. They have been arguing all day. It’s getting annoying.

“I told you Dean, this is a bad idea,” Sam exclaims again.

He’s exasperated now, and angry, and Dean understands that but he doesn’t get why Sam won’t even consider it.

“We got squat on that Alastair guy. Cas is working on the case too, maybe he knows things, maybe he can help!”

“There’s a price on your head, Dean!”

“This thing is more important than me!!”

Dean spits half of his burger as he says this and he swallows before he talks again.

“I just have to pray to him, tell him the guy’s name, that’s it!”

Sam snorts.

“Right. So that the angels who were on Uriel’s side can hear us and tip Alastair off and tell him all about us!”

Okay, Dean hadn’t thought about that.

“How do you know they’ll hear me if I pray directly to him?”

“How do you know they won’t?”

“We don’t even know if Uriel was related to that demon shit…” He mumbles.

Sam runs a hand through his hair, but Dean can tell he’d rather put his fist in Dean’s face.

“You can’t seriously believe that the two things aren’t related!”

“Okay, that’d be too big a coincidence, but still… We need help,” Dean admits, thinking over the information they don’t have. “The demons won’t talk. What else can we do?”

“No. Dean, I said no.” Sam sighs, insistent. “You’re not praying to him, or Gabriel, if you end up back there I won’t be able to get you out again.”

Dean sighs. Truth is, he knows praying to Gabe is a bad idea but he can’t think of anything else.

“Okay, okay. I give up. I won’t tell him about Alastair…”

Sam has stopped pacing around and he’s scowling at Dean, hands on his hips.

“You won’t pray to him?”

“I won’t tell him about Alastair.” Dean repeats.

Sam looks up to the ceiling and he laughs unhappily.

“I knew it! You did it already, didn’t you?”  

His eyes find Dean again. Dean keeps chewing, he doesn’t answer.

“Fuck, Dean! Are you out of your mind? You want to get caught again, is that it?!”

Dean swallows the last of his burger and, finally, he looks back at his brother.

“I only did it once. I was drunk. I didn’t think.”

“Yeah, clearly you didn’t!”

He sits heavily on the bed and lets out a breath like he’s trying to expel the anger out of himself. He grabs the motel’s phone book, opens it and starts looking through the pages. He’s not looking at Dean anymore, and Dean knows he’s ignoring him now.

“What are you doing,” He asks.

Sam looks up from under his eyelashes like he wants to kill Dean with the power of his mind. He looks down at the phone book again.

“Searching for a local SRM group. Ruby isn’t answering, so I want to have a look and ask around if she went there. She does that sometimes to get some contacts all over the country.”

As he speaks Dean hears the anger slip away, replaced by worry.

“Maybe she’s not that into you anymore,” Dean offers.

He doesn’t want to be mean, but that’s probably the truth. The bitch is cold. Maybe she found someone else to fuck and run on an adventure with.

“Fuck you, Dean,” Sam answers without looking up.

“Don’t be like that,” Dean soothes. “You’ll find another girl some place. You just think you fell for her now ‘cause you’re full of happy sex hormones, but it’s gonna go away and you’ll forget about her.”

Sam stops reading, he closes the phone book furiously and the anger is back in his eyes. His whole body tenses.

“So, when it’s you it’s okay to be in love, but when it’s me it’s just sex hormones?”

Dean blinks, surprised, then he laughs.

“I’m not in love.”

Sam gets up.

“Right. You talk in your sleep, you know. D’you think I don’t hear it? ‘Yes Master’, ‘Please Master’, ‘No Gabriel’, ‘Please don’t hate me Gabriel’… All night long, Dean. And I see the way you space out. You get that look on your face. You thought I didn’t know who you’re thinking about when you do?”

Dean feels his whole face getting warm, and he can only stare at Sam in shock.

“I don’t…“

“Shut up, okay? You’re just so fucking selfish! I don’t know why I even try with you…”

Sam looks disgusted now. He grabs his jacket and gets out as quick as he can. Dean doesn’t have time to say anything to that. He tries not to acknowledge the way his heart clenches painfully when he thinks about what Sam just told him. Sam is angry, he’s right, Dean shouldn’t have said that. It’s not his fault he doesn’t like that Ruby bitch. Sam’s going to go see his hippie friends, maybe have a drink or two and he’ll calm down. Later, Dean will apologize.

Yep.

He starts eating his fries again.

~*~

It’s late when Dean finally lies down on his bed, and tries to get some shuteye. But he’s worried about Sam. It’s been a few hours now and it’s late, but his brother isn’t back, yet. He feels really guilty, now. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say to Sam, but he really wants to apologize. He gets under the comforter but even without his pants he feels awfully hot. He fidgets with his shirt until he decides to take it off, throwing it on the floor next to the bed. There. Better.

He tosses and turns for a while, but he can’t sleep. He just… He’s too worried. He needs something to relax. He doesn’t want to drink because he’s alone and he’s starting to fall back into his old habits again, and it’s kind of scaring him. Now that he knows how he can feel without alcohol, he tries to stay away from it as often as he can. He could jerk off, but again it would just feel wrong. Because Sam is angry at him. Because he isn’t back yet and Dean doesn’t know where he is. Because he and Gabriel had a deal and he’s not allowed.

Okay that last one is not true anymore. He’s out. He has to remind himself that he’s out. He’s free. He can do whatever he likes. But he just can’t. He thinks about that time in the shower, and blushes a bit. What would Gabriel do if he knew? Probably nothing, because he must have a lot of things on his plate right now. And he’s probably angry at Dean, too. But Dean can’t stop thinking about it.

He has to forget about Gabriel, he really does. He can’t keep living like this.

~*~

“ _Gabriel. Hey_.”

Gabriel freezes when he hears Dean’s voice again but this time he focuses on it right away and puts his book down on the little table next to the couch. He’s not drunk this time so maybe he can try to find Dean’s location again. He looks into the fire in front of him, and he tries. He pulls at the link, following it until he thinks he has something but it slips away.

“ _So… I’m pretty sure you’re not even listening anymore but, whatever_.”

He straightens up and keeps looking into the fire. He wonders what Dean wants this time. It’s good to hear his voice, but Gabriel cannot let himself feel again. He’s just starting to be better. Why does Dean keep praying to him?

“ _I’m not drunk this time. Yay me, am I right?_ ” He chuckles but he sounds a bit embarrassed. He sighs. “ _I uh… I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t want to pray to you again, I know you must hate me right now… I mean, I saw the price you put on my head, man, seriously? I don’t know why you would be willing to spend that much on me but… I decided I was going to be flattered, so thanks. You won’t catch me though so don’t worry, you won’t have to spend the money_.”

Gabriel scoffs. Who does he think he is?

“We’ll see about that…” He whispers.

He wishes Dean could hear him.

“ _So… I…_ ” He lets out a breath. “ _This is really embarrassing, okay? But… I won’t be able to sleep until I tell you so here goes…_ ”

Gabriel’s curious. He knows that tone. It’s the tone Dean takes when he did something Gabriel didn’t approve of. What would he want to tell him now? Did he do something before he left?

“ _A week ago I uh… Okay, I need to explain something first. Sam has a girlfriend. Had. Has. But anyway we were all drunk and long story short they were banging not even 5 feet away from me and I… I mean he’s my brother, I’m not gonna get all turned on because I hear him fuck a girl but…_ ”

There’s a silence. Gabriel can’t believe it. Is he really trying to talk about sex? To him?

“ _But it made me think about you. Alright? And… I uh… I had to… I jerked off._ ”

“Are you kidding me?” Gabriel says to the empty room.

He can’t help the little laugh that escapes his lips.

“ _It’s annoying, but it still feels like I have to ask for permission and…_ ” Dean sighs again. “ _I need to do it again. I just… There are just too many things happening, we had some news about the case, you know, but I can’t tell you about it. I mean, Sam doesn’t want me to. I wanted to tell you, but we don’t know who could be listening in on this, and I… I need something good right now so… If someone’s listening they’re gonna get an earful…_ ”

Another silence, then Dean grunts. What is he doing? And if they really have some fresh information about the murders he wishes Dean could tell him. Nobody’s going to listen in on prayers, that would just be tedious. They would have to be really well organized and there would have to be a dozen angels on this. It’s just not possible.

“ _Alright, I’m all set. I’m sorry if you’re still listening. For what I’m about to do but… It’s the only way I can get off in peace so, I’m naked. There. And I’m about to…_ “ he lets out a short breath. “ _There!_ ”

Gabriel’s blood starts pumping harder in his body. He knows what that means. He knows that noise Dean just made. He’s really going to…

“ _Oh, God! Okay… This is…_ ” Dean pauses again, breathes harder. “ _Just what I needed…_ ” he sighs.

He’s really touching himself while he prays. This is just… not just blasphemous, it’s wrong. It feels wrong. But he feels a rush of desire and he does nothing to suppress it.

“ _Shit okay… I feel like a horny teenager right now, if I don’t slow down I’m gonna come all over myself_.” He laughs.

Waves of heat assault Gabriel. He starts to sweat.

“ _So I guess if you were here… You’d probably make me wait a while before you’d touch me but I can’t do that right now…_ ” Dean is breathing harder.

Gabriel feels like he can’t move. He’s paralyzed by what he’s hearing and he doesn’t want his body to respond, but he can’t help it. He lets it, he lets his blood run down to his cock, he lets his stomach tighten and he lets the little sparks of desire gather in the pit of his belly.

He doesn’t know why it’s happening. He hasn’t been that aroused, like this, for a long while. It’s just not his thing. He doesn’t get turned on like this. He needs time. He needs preparation. He likes to watch, he doesn’t particularly likes dirty talk but this… _This_ is something else. This is Dean, praying to him, thinking about him as he does this. Dean with the power in his hands. He can do whatever he likes, and Gabriel is the one who just has to sit back and take it.

“ _Fuck! Okay, okay you’d… you’d take your time, going real slow,” Dean drew the words out,_ “ _like, slowly up…_ ” a breath. “ _and slowly down. And you’d keep doing it until I begged for more. I bet you’d do that. I’m sure you would_.”

This isn’t happening, it can’t be. Gabriel feels heat coming up all the way to his face and he reaches down, pressing the heel of his hand against his erection. He never masturbated like this, not alone. He won’t start now. He just won’t.

“ _I don’t usually make a lot of noise when I’m alone but…”_ Dean chuckles, embarrassed. _“I really hope you’re the only one who can hear me because I can’t help it…_ ” He moans. A loud, filthy moan that makes Gabriel shake. Then another chuckle. “ _You like it when I’m noisy, right?_ ”

“Yes…” Gabriel whispers as he closes his eyes. He tries to ignore the shame he’s feeling as he shoves his pants down, grabbing his own flesh and stroking, following the rhythm Dean is setting as he breathes.

“ _You’d tease me with your mouth too, I know that. You love tasting me. I don’t know how…_ ” Dean hisses. “ _I don’t know how nobody’s ever done that to me before. It’s so good, Gabe… I love feeling your mouth on me. Girls they… kiss my chest, sometimes a nipple, for like ten seconds and then they go down to blow me or whatever but you… you just have to kiss every inch available to you, don’t you?_ ”

He pictures it. Gabriel sees himself on top of Dean is a dirty bed, in a room that has no walls because he can’t see where Dean is and Dean hasn’t told him. He can see himself kiss his way down Dean’s body, taking his time until finally he reaches the space where hip meets thigh.

Dean moans again.

“ _If I close my eyes and I imagine it I can feel it, y’know?_ ” Deanhuffs. “ _Shit, not gonna hold on for long like this… I wish I had some lube at least, I can’t reach… Can’t reach my ass but that’s probably where you’d go next_.”

Gabriel keeps stroking and he can’t help but go faster as he hears the words. He’s panting now but he tries not to make a sound. He feels little bursts of pleasure running inside his vessel.

“ _Shit, I can’t hold it, Gabe… I’m trying, I swear I am but I can’t, not when I’m thinking about you like this I…_ ” Dean moans again, longer this time, and then he’s silent for a while.

Gabriel hopes he hasn’t come yet. He’s not done.

“Don’t stop.” Gabriel breathes.

He wants Dean to hear him. But he knows it’s not possible and it’s frustrating. Then Dean lets out a long breath.

“ _Sorry I was… I’m holding it. I know you wouldn’t want me to come right away… You... Shit, I want you to fuck me so bad, fuck!_ ” A whimper. “ _Just want you to fuck me hard and good and…_ ”

Dean pants, once, twice. Gabriel is close too, he knows he’s about to come but he wants to wait for Dean.

“ _I wanted to fuck you, too._ ” And the words send another powerful wave of pleasure up Gabriel’s spine. “ _I would have made it so good for you Gabriel. I would have done to you every single thing you did to me and it would’ve been so good, so, so good, Gabe…_ “

The end of the sentence is drowned by the strangled cry Gabriel makes. He bites on his lower lips and tries to keep silent.

“ _-I want to come now, please, Gabriel, I want to…”_

He stops to take in some air again.

“Yes, Dean. Come, please, come now!”

“ _Fuck!_ ” The angel hears Dean cry out and he allows his vessel’s body to climax, too.

When Gabriel opens his eyes again he sees that the bottom of his shirt is covered in come. With a thought he makes it disappear and pulls up his pants. His body wants to blush, and he tries not to let it. He’s breathing harshly, still a bit light-headed from the orgasm, and he can hear Dean’s sharp intakes of breath too. But Dean doesn’t talk anymore. He stays silent, keeping the link open until finally his breathing is back to normal and Gabriel can barely hear him.

 “ _I’m not doing that ever again…”_ Dean whispers after a while. “ _I’m so sorry… but that was… uh, I feel better now. I’m definitely not doing that again, I swear. I’m trying to… uh… to go on with my life. And maybe I’m still a bit hooked up on you but that’s… that’s just happy sex hormones, you know? Just that. It’ll go away, but I need to stop thinking about you that way, I know that. And you probably don’t care about that anyway so… If you’re still listening, thank you. And… goodbye, I guess?_ ”

The prayer ends, the links fading slowly, and Gabriel finds himself alone again. All he feels is confusion. Dean needs to stop praying to him. He needs to stop listening to those prayers, he needs to tune them out as soon as he hears Dean’s voice because Dean escaped, he betrayed his trust. Gabriel can’t let himself be softened by this. He needs to follow what Lucifer tells him and everything will be fine again.

~*~

Sam is back in the small hours of the morning. He wakes Dean up by walking around heavily and throwing shit around until Dean finally drags himself out of bed. At least Sam brought breakfast, even if he’s angry. Dean sits to eat his bacon and eggs and Sam does the same, opening the newspaper he probably just bought without saying a thing. He keeps reading until Dean sighs deeply.

“Listen, Sam…”

Sam looks up, his expression unreadable.

“I’m sorry for what I told you yesterday. I didn’t know you liked her that mu…“

“It’s okay, Dean.”

He looks down on the newspaper again. Dean just rolls his eyes and tears the damn things from his hands, putting it aside.

“No, it’s not!”

Sam’s jaws tightens. He tilts his head on the side, squinting at Dean. He crosses his arms on his chest.

“I’m an asshole, okay?” Dean goes on, “And I’m sorry. I just… Don’t do this! Don’t just shut me off like this, Sam.”

Sam finally sighs, letting his arm fall on his thighs.

“I’m not mad at you,” He mumbles. “I’m just worried about Ruby. She never does this. She always answers my calls or my texts, even if it’s a few days after I try to reach her. It’s been a week. Something’s wrong.”

Dean offers him a compassionate pout.

“You really like her that much? Bitch is insufferable.”

Sam huffs a little laugh and he smiles sadly.

“I… you know, it’s like, sometimes you don’t realize how much you like someone until that person isn’t here anymore. See what I mean?”

Dean swallows hard before he nods. Yes, he does. But it’s different with Gabriel. He just misses the comfort, the silky bed, the nice shower, the hot sex. The feeling of longing is going to pass. He’s sure of it.

He clears his throat.

“I’m sure she’s just busy with something… Maybe she found something about that Alastair guy?”

Sam shrugs.

“Speaking of which, I’ve done a bit of thinking last night while you were out… I know you’re not gonna like it but hear me out, okay?”

Sam leans back in his chair and crosses his arms on his chest again.

“Go ahead…”

Dean wriggles in his seat, putting down his fork.

“So, we got a name on the demon side of the whole thing.” He rests his weight on his forearm, leaning forward on the table. “But we never researched the angel side of it.” Sam’s mouth twists in displeasure. “Now, before you can start bitching, I know, we can’t pray, but there’s something else we can do! The Archangel Raphael was the first to die, so maybe we could check his house, see if we can find some clues maybe?”

Sam huffs. He doesn’t even take the time to think about it.

“It’s too dangerous. They probably have angels guarding the property. We can’t risk it.”

Frustrated, Dean throws his hand in the air and falls backward. He slaps his back hard against his chair, making the cheap plastic crack. He has to check to be sure it’s not going to break under his weight.

“What else can we do,” he asks angrily, looking at Sam again. “We’re not going to just stay here and wait for something to fall in our lap!”

“I don’t know Dean, but until there’s no other solution we’re not going to drive into a trap just because we’re frustrated!”

Dean looks down at his eggs, grabs his fork again and puts a big chunk in his mouth. He chews hard on it, too angry to think about something good to answer Sam.

“We could still pray to Cas at least,” he finally says, swallowing.

“No.”

“Why not? He doesn’t know where we are!”

“Right, good idea Dean, let’s pray to the guy who’s looking to get you imprisoned! Or better yet, why don’t we just call him right here, give him our address and tell him ourselves what we learned about the case!”

Dean freezes. He let his fork fall on his plate and blinks at Sam.

“That’s a… that’s a great idea actually!”

“What?”

“Well think about it… we just go into the woods, some place in between towns, we still got some holy oil somewhere, right? So, we call him there, we trap him. We tell him everything and maybe he can tell us something in return. We don’t have to free him afterward or anything, he’ll just have to wait for rain or wind or whatever and so we’ll have time to bail! What do you think?”

Sam is staring at him, wide eyed.

“You’re crazy. We can’t do that.”

“Why not?!”

“Because we can’t! End of discussion!”

Dean snorts.

“Who died and made you boss?”

Sam doesn’t answer and reaches for his newspaper again.

“Come on, Sammy. It makes sense. That way we can talk to him, exchange information and everything.”

Sam sighs.

“No, Dean. Okay? I said no. We’re not talking about it again.”

~*~

Sam huffs unhappily and kicks at a little rock on the floor, hands in his jacket pockets. It’s fucking cold out here. Dean rubs his hands together, jumping around to gather some warmth. And maybe a bit of courage. There’s a slight wind that makes the pine trees all around them look like they’re moving, the almost full moon casting shadows around them, reinforcing the illusion, and if he wasn’t a professional monster hunter, Dean would have been a bit spooked. They chose a little patch of clear stony ground to set the trap, as close as the lake shore as they dared to go, and Dean is a little bit nervous about what they’re about to do, but he thinks they have a pretty good chance of succeeding.

If Cas is as calm and collected as he always is, maybe he won’t try to grab Dean right away and they’ll have enough time to set the holy oil on fire before he has a chance to move. Dean’s feeling really lucky that he finally got Sam to go with his crazy plan, so he really doesn’t want to fuck this up.

Dean looks at Sam right behind him one last time. Sam nods, so Dean turns to around, looking straight ahead so that Cas will hopefully appear in the middle of the holy oil circle.

Dean clears his throat and starts. “I pray to Castiel, Angel of the Lord…” He hears Sam snorts behind him but he tries to ignore it. “I may have some interesting news for you, concerning that, uh, angelic murder problem so… get your ass here if you can. Just… before I tell you where I am, I’ll ask you to come alone. We don’t want any trouble, we just wanna help okay? So… If you want to catch the sons of bitches who are murdering people and angels out there then… Please, do as I say. There’s only two of us but I hope you’re aware we can takeona lot of you guys, and we can hurt you real bad if you…”

Sam clears his throat.

“Dean…”

“Okay… So… Cas, if you’re hearing me, we’re somewhere in east Texas, a place called Huntsville State Park? Near uh… there’s a lake, east shore, near Little Chinguapin Creek. If you could hurry up a bit, that would be great. We’re not supposed to be here and I’m pretty sure there are people patrolling around so…”

The sound of wings resonates in the little clearing and Castiel is standing there, all tall and mighty, glaring daggers at Dean.

“That was quick,” Dean says. He blinks at Castiel. “Hey Cas.”

Castiel starts walking angrily toward him but he only has time to take two steps before Sam moves forward, angel blade in hand to protect Dean.

“Stay where you are,” he almost growls.

Castiel stops, straightens up and squints at him. He’s standing right in the middle of the circle now. Good.

“Before we talk… I’m sorry for this but…” Dean trails off, taking out his lighter, sparking a flame and throwing it on the ground as quick as he can.

Castiel looks around him as the oil catches fire but he keeps silent. Slowly, he looks up at Dean again.

“So…” Dean tries, “It’s… nice to see you.”

Castiel keeps staring. He looks really pissed, and Dean feels a chill run up his arms.

“I thought you were better than this, Dean,” Cas finally says.

Dean sighs.

“It’s not what you think. The fire’s just for protection, but we won’t do anything to you.”      

Castiel gives him a dubious look. His gaze turns to Sam, drops to the angel blade in his hand.Dean looks up at his brother and Sam relaxes a little, letting the hand holding the blade rest at his side. He steps back a little but the expression on his face doesn’t change. Dean turns to Cas, again.

“Like I said, we just want to compare notes, sort of. We found out something, and we thought it would be better to share with you. Put our differences aside to save lives, you know.”

Cas seems to straighten up even more, he tilts his chin up and squints at Dean like he’s thinking about it.

“Alright,” He finally says. “Tell me what you know.”

Sam laughs humorlessly. “That’s not how it works.”

“Yeah, you first,” Dean says.

Castiel suddenly looks exasperated and he lets out a little sigh.

“I don’t have anything to say to you. I didn’t get much time to investigate.” His mouth twists in displeasure. “Gabriel wouldn’t let me. He’s more fixated on you than anything else.”

Dean tries really hard not to smile at that.

“Okay, well…”

He eyes Sam quickly. His brother raises an eyebrow at him, and Dean understands that he doesn’t really believe Castiel. But he’s been bitchy and moody for a few days now so Dean ignores the way his brows furrow angrily and he looks at Cas again.

“We got a name out of a demon. A low level one though, he didn’t know much.”

He sees Sam shift his weight furiously in his peripheral vision. Cas looks surprised and for the first time since he appeared he seems to loosen up a little.

“How did you manage that? I tried everything for months.”

Dean smirks.

“We’re professionals.”

Castiel huffs but doesn’t comment.

“You found out who’s behind all this?” He just asks, sounding impatient now.

“Not exactly.” Dean rocks back and forth on his heels. “Like I said, we have a name. Alastair. We think he’s one of the brains but we can’t be sure. He’s a big deal though. But that’s all we got so far. So we were wondering if the name rang a bell for you.”

Castiel looks up and he seems to freeze. Dean knows he’s thinking about it.

“I’ve heard the name before,” Cas finally says, slowly. “He is, indeed, a very powerful demon. They call him the Inquisitor. He’s a Master of torture, from what I heard, and he is rumored to be the leader of Hell but… I don’t see why he would be involved in those murders. The angels who were killed weren’t tortured.”

Dean and Sam briefly look at each other at that. That’s what they wanted, some new information. Dean isn’t sure it’s going to help much though.

“At least that’s something to start on…” Dean tells Castiel.

Castiel nods. There’s an awkward silence as they stare at each other. The angel lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Was that all you could find out?”

Dean raises an eyebrow at him, and he can’t help but feel a bit vexed.

“That’s enough to start digging. So that’s what we’re gonna do. And that’s what _you’re_ gonna do, I hope.”

Sam tucks the angel blade inside his jacket and he turns to Dean expectantly.

“I’ll do what I can. Once you let me out of here,” Castiel answers, looking around at the fire.

Dean eyes Sam and he hesitates for a second before he looks at Cas again. The angel noticed something was off and he’s squinting back at Dean.

“You are going to let me out of here, Dean.”

Dean laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, about that… Sorry, can’t do. We can’t be too careful.”

He turns around, trying not to look back or let his guilt get the better of him. Sam follows, still not saying anything. He’s still pissed and he’s probably going to keep bitching about this for a while.

“Dean!” Castiel almost growls.

Dean can’t help it, he can’t leave like this. He turns toward the angel and he keeps walking backward as he speaks.

“Sorry, Cas. But there’s water nearby so if it doesn’t rain I’m sure you’ll manage to… you know, let yourself out eventually.”

And he turns his back on Castiel again.

~*~

“I hope he’ll be able to get out before someone sees him…” Dean whispers.

He tightens his grip on the wheel and he keeps his eyes straight on the road. The moon is bright so he can see fine but he still feels anxious. He’s not usually this anxious when he’s driving. It’s supposed to feel relaxing. But Sam hasn’t opened his mouth since they left Castiel. it’s making him nervous.

Sam just huffs angrily but he doesn’t move. Another mile passes in complete silence until Dean can’t take it anymore. He reaches for the radio but Sam finally opens his mouth.

“I don’t get it!”

His voice seems loud in the silence of the car.

Dean pulls back and put his hand on the wheel again. “What?”

He can feel they’re about to have a discussion he won’t particularly like but he goes with it anyway. He’s tired of fighting with Sam. At least, if they let it out now there’s a good chance things get back to normal.

He sees Sam wriggle under the seat belt in his peripheral vision until he’s sitting on his side, facing Dean.

“Why do you keep protecting them? Why do you even care anymore?”

Dean’s mouth tightens in a thin line and he keeps his eyes on the road. It’s the same argument they’ve been having since he came back. Guess he can’t escape it this time, huh? He supposes if today he tells the truth, then maybe Sam will stop asking. He’s tired of the constant fights.

He let a long breath out of his nose and he chews on his lower lip, trying to come up with words to explain everything.

“It’s complicated,” he starts.

He doesn’t know how to say this, he’s never been good with words. Sam doesn’t interrupt, he just keeps staring at Dean and he waits.

“They’re good people.”

He can feel Sam rolling his eyes.

“They’re not people, they’re Angels. They’re Monsters.”

“Well, maybe some of them are, but Gabriel and Cas are different, okay?”

He dares a glance at Sam but he doesn’t want to keep his eyes off the road for too long. Sam looks nothing but exasperated.

“How?!”

Dean tries, he really tries to find a way to get Sam to share his view but he doesn’t know where to start.

“Just… give me some time to explain, okay?” He sighs. “I… they try. They try to… accommodate their slaves.” He pauses again, looking for the right words. “Like… they don’t see what’s wrong with having some, I know but… they take care of them. I mean back at Gabe’s I had my own bed, I had decent clothes I could change every day. I could shower every day, which is more than what we have now and I… I had food and, yeah, I had to do what he told me and I know I was…” he tries not to blush. “I know why he bought me. I know it sounds like the worst thing to you but… It was nice. That how it felt. Nice.”

Sam doesn’t answer right away. Dean hears him move a little.

“So what? I should have left you there, that’s what you’re saying?”

Dean feels a surge of anger rising up. Sam knows it’s a stupid thing to say.

“Of course not!”

He grits his teeth and takes a few deep breaths through his nose. He doesn’t understand why Sam is pushing so much today. Dean gets he’s worried about his girl but he doesn’t see why Sam is taking it all out on him.

When he feels that his heart has calmed down he opens his mouth again.

“I thought I was good,” He says, so low it’s barely a whisper.

But he sees Sam raising a curious eyebrow at him.

“I thought it was nice. Now, I’m not so sure but… it’s not them. Gabriel he never… maybe he manipulated me at first, he made it so I wouldn’t be able to think about escaping. I didn’t have the time or strength anymore but… I don’t know. The others… they’re so happy with him, you know?”

He finally looks at his brother and gives him a pleading look.

“They didn’t always have it this easy.” He looks at the road again. “And I just… after a while I started to feel comfortable with them. We never had that, you and me. We never… I mean I saw them every day, I lived with them for 6 months so… after a while it felt like… home.”

He whispers the last word, afraid of what Sam will do after hearing this. It feels weird to admit that out loud.

Sam doesn’t say anything to that. Dean keeps his eyes on the road. He focuses on the shadows of the trees on each side of it, on how they look like they’re gliding past the car and not the other way around.

“You’re aware it wasn’t real, right?” Sam says after a while.

His voice is low now, it sounds almost sad.

“Yeah. I know.” Dean lets out a sigh. “But I still need a bit of time I think… it’s just… it’s hard to forget about everything, okay? I can’t just forget about them, I can’t stop thinking about everyone just like that. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I left them there and…“

“Dean. Don’t go there, alright? It’s not your fault if they ended up as slaves. You can’t save everybody. You don’t have to help everybody you run into.”

 _Why not?_ He wants to ask. But he keeps his mouth shut.

“If you say Castiel is different then… okay, I believe you.” Sam starts again. “But it’s over, Dean. You need to let it go and you need to see that it wasn’t real. Everything you felt. It was different because the context was different but…“

“I get it, Sam. I know, okay?”

Sam freezes for a few seconds then finally sits back properly, facing the road. Dean clears his throat.

“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“Fine.”

And they stop talking about it, just like that.

Dean turns on the radio, some obscure jazz song blasting through the crappy speakers keeping the awkward conversation away. He focuses on the road again.

 


	11. Betrayal

Sam hangs up his phone furiously.

“She’s not answering!”

Dean looks away from the TV and gives his brother a blank look. Sam’s been trying to call Ruby so many times by now it’s not even funny anymore. Dean doesn’t know what to tell him.

“Maybe she ditched her phone,” he tries.

“She would have sent me her new number if she did!” Sam answers as he let himself fall on the battered armchair next to Dean.

They found a nice motel for tonight, and Dean would love to stay here for a little while, but Sam keeps insisting on moving until they find someone who’s heard about Ruby, or seen her at least.

“Don’t worry, Sammy. She’ll get back to you when she can,” Dean says automatically, his eyes finding the TV screen again.

He’s so tired of all this. Now that they stopped fighting, Ruby is the only thing on Sam’s mind and it’s driving Dean crazy.

Sam slumps forward, letting out a long sigh, pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

“I don’t know, Dean. I think something happened…”

Dean just barely holds back an eye roll because, duh! Obviously something happened. He doesn’t say anything though, forcing himself to look away from the TV and at his brother, and he pats Sam’s shoulder reassuringly. He doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. He just waits until Sam looks up again and he gives him a small smile.

Sam doesn’t react as he stands up, looking lost for a second. Walking to the door, he grabs his jacket.

“I’m just going to ask around, I’ll be back soon,” he says before he rushes out.

Dean doesn’t even try to protest. The sooner Sam realizes Ruby is no longer in the picture, the better. They’ll finally be able to get back to finding that Alastair guy, or at least something useful to stop the killings. He doesn’t know if some other Archangels have been killed, he didn’t hear about any angels being murdered either, but he knows it hasn’t stopped. He doesn’t know why that case feels so important now… before Ana, before he was captured, it was just a simple hunt. But now he just knows too much, he has to see it to the end.

He turns back to the TV again. The only thing he can do now is wait for Sam to come back.

~*~

Gabriel looks at the piece of paper in front of him, but he doesn’t really see what’s written on it. Camilla is frowning at him, an impatient expression on her face, her arms crossed over her chest. He just wishes he could be anywhere but here, sitting at his desk, taking care of some petty administrative work.

Camilla huffs, visibly annoyed that he’s not listening to her. “Is it okay?”

He blinks at the piece of paper and looks up.

“Yeah. Yes, sure.”

She sighs. “Then can you please sign the schedule? Master?”

He looks down again. Oh yeah, the schedule. For the month. That she just put together. He hasn’t even read the thing, but he trusts her. Good old Mrs. Camilla Herbert. She could run the whole thing without him, he knows that. So he takes a pen, signs the piece of paper and hands it back to her.

“I don’t see why you even bother making these. Nobody even reads them anymore. Not even me.”

She scowls down at him but doesn’t answer. She just tears the thing from his hand and walks away. When she’s gone he sinks back in his chair, looking around at his study. He wonders why he even bothers anymore. Everything feels empty and useless.

Castiel appears suddenly, looking angry and exhausted, water dripping from his clothes onto Gabriel’s precious carpet. Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him, surprised.

“What happened to you?”

Castiel seems to be almost vibrating with rage.

“Dean,” he growls.

And Gabriel’s heart skips a beat. He sits back up swiftly, almost violently, his hands gripping the arms of his chair so tightly it hurts.

“Did you find him?”

Castiel shakes his head.

“No.” Gabriel tries to relax at that. “He called for me. He said he had information about the murders so I went to see what he had to say. He trapped me.”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him.

“You went to see Dean… by yourself?” He can’t believe Castiel. “He gave you his location and you didn’t think it was a good idea to plan for some backup?” He feels anger boiling up again inside of him, making his heart speed up. “And could you please dry your coat? You’re getting water all over my floor!”

Castiel clicks his tongue, clearly exasperated.

“I spent the last couple of hours trying to extinguish a holy fire I was trapped in,” he spits. “I’m sorry if your floor is suffering because I drained almost all of my Grace in the process!”

Gabriel huffs, biting down a witty retort. Castiel looks truly miserable, and drained. Gabriel stands and, walking slowly to him, sends a wave of Grace his way, erasing every little molecule of water he can find.

“Sorry.” He finally breathes. “Did he hurt you?”

“No,” Castiel answers.

He seems to relax slowly, taking a seat on the couch facing Gabriel’s desk. Gabriel follows and does the same.

“He just wanted to talk,” Castiel adds. “I think he uncovered something useful. But I need to investigate to know if it’s truly valuable.”

Gabriel tries to hold back any questions he could have about Dean. Instead he straightens up and tries to smooth the lines of his face, tries to shake the anger away.

“What did he tell you?”

Castiel sighs.

“He said the demon Alastair was partly responsible for the murders. Or he was a part of the whole scheme, at least.”

Gabriel is momentarily struck dumb by surprise. Alastair is well known amongst the members of the High Council. He’s the one who laid claim on Hell. He’s the current king. If the word gets out it will mean war.

“Is he sure?”

Castiel nods sternly. “Alastair mostly keeps to himself, he doesn’t meddle with humans, I doubt that Dean would have given me his name at random. That’s the only piece of information he had, I don’t think he would have called me if he didn’t believe it was true. And I don’t see how he would have heard of Alastair otherwise.”

Gabriel is looking at him without really seeing him. He’s trying to think about all of this, about what Alastair would have had to gain from this. He doesn’t see it. The demons are great in number, but they’re disorganized, and they’ve been behaving for centuries because they know the Angels overpower them. He doesn’t understand why now, of all times. Why would Alastair try to start a war now?

“Okay then…” he licks his lips, feeling suddenly nervous. “But that means you’ll be gone when the Council will take place, doesn’t it?”

Castiel nods and he looks away at some random spot in front of him.

“If I go alone I might get more efficient results…”

“It’s too dangerous, Cas. You know Alastair’s reputation. What if what Dean says is true?”

“If it is, then it’s better that I don’t draw attention to my investigation.”

Gabriel huffs unhappily. But he knows Castiel is right. They really need to put an end to all this so that life can get back to normal.

“Alright,” he concedes, “but be careful…”

Cas nods as he stands.

“Don’t worry about me, Gabriel.”

He gives Gabriel a pointed look before he flies away. Gabriel slumps back into the couch. Why did Dean call Cas and not him? He’s a bit jealous, even if he knows he shouldn’t be. He sighs. He knows why Dean didn’t ask him to come. His brother didn’t want him to, that much Gabriel remembers from Dean’s prayer. And he probably didn’t want to face Gabriel either, or be taken again.

But it still hurts.

He goes back to his desk and starts working again. Or at least he tries.

~*~

Dean is half-way through an obscure demon glossary they found in an antic shop a few days ago when Sam comes back. He opens the door slowly, looking at the ground like he’s trying to avoid Dean’s eyes. A weird foreboding feeling invades every cell in Dean’s body. Blinking at his brother, he closes the glossary and puts it down on the table in front of him.

“What is it?”

He needs to ask, because Sam never looks that uncomfortable. Never. He’s tall and most of the time that means he’s awkward and, yes, he often tries to appear smaller than he is because it’s hard for him to be inconspicuous, but the way he’s acting now… it’s like he killed a bunch of puppies by accident and doesn’t want Dean to find out about it.

Sam looks up, almost surprised when he hears Dean’s voice, but quickly looks at his feet again. At least he’s bringing Dean the papers. But there’s no lunch in sight, unfortunately.

“I think I know what Ruby’s been up to…” he answers.

Dean quirks an eyebrow at him. “That’s good, right?”

Sam shakes his head ‘no’ and hands him the papers. He gives Sam a curious glance as he takes it and looks down on it. Sam marked a page. When Dean looks at the title he feels like all his blood left his body.

“Dean, I’m sorry, I didn’t know she would…” he trails off.

But Dean barely hears him. His ears start ringing and everything’s spinning for a second. That’s it. He’s dead. If Gabriel finds him again he’s dead. His eyes can’t leave the page, he reads the title over and over again.

> **‘The truth about Archangels : the poignant story of Dean Winchester  
>                                                                                                                      ** **By Ruby Flanigan’**

He tries to focus, tries to come back to reality. Maybe she just wrote a bunch of bullshit. He starts reading the article.

> ‘ _Some of you may have noticed I have been absent from the writing scene for a while. I can tell you now that I was on an investigation. Regular readers will know I’m fiercely opposed to slavery, and I do everything I can to help the poor souls still subjected to that abject treatment. But what I uncovered these last few months could very well change the ways of the world as we know it, forever._
> 
> **_A Tale of Two Brothers:  
>  _ ** _I first met Sam Winchester at a Slave Rights Movement’s meeting. Some of you may know I am a member of that group, as well as a member of their less known sub-party, the Righteous Path, which takes care of the things the very legal and very proper SRM cannot accept publicly. I wasn’t going to stay that day, but something about Sam caught my attention. He seemed lost, and desperate, and so I decided I was going to help, in whatever way I could._
> 
> _It turned out that Sam’s brother, Dean, had been captured by angels, for a minor crime at that. He’d been sentenced to slavery and bought by an Archangel. Sam was devastated. He and Dean had been brought up as free men, like many of us, and it was the first time in twenty-six years he’d been separated from his brother. I could only imagine what he was feeling, but my revolutionary side was screaming, begging to do something to help the poor boy. I quickly went to work._
> 
> _It was hard to convince Sam to take action. I knew it was going to be. I didn’t relent, I just kept encouraging him. We had to get his brother out of there. God only knows what Archangels do to their slaves. We had little time if we wanted to help Dean before something horrible happened. So when Sam finally agreed to my plan, we had to work quickly._
> 
> _Sam did admirably. I helped him as much as I could, and finally we were able to take Dean out of the Archangel Gabriel’s grasp. What a sight it was to see those two brothers reunited! I remember telling myself : ‘That’s what I’m fighting for!’. I was proud, and happy for the both of them, and I thought it was over. I couldn’t have been more wrong._
> 
> _We talked a great deal, Dean and I. As the days passed, I grew attached to him. We became the best of friends. We were close and some of the things he hinted at regarding his captivity made me increasingly curious. So I gathered some courage one day and asked him if he would like to give me an exclusive interview. He refused at first, still traumatized by his time at the Archangel’s mansion. He was scared, understandably so. But soon his outrage at what he discovered won him over, and he finally agreed to tell me everything. He and Sam both courageously accepted releasing their names as well. In doing so, we are hoping it will help those who are too scared to take action. There is nothing to fear, and as most of you know, the Righteous Path will be here to guide and protect you._
> 
> _Dean first told me about his childhood. They both grew up on the road, travelling with their father. The man was rough, drunk most of the time, often absent. Dean had to take care of little Sammy on his own._
> 
> **_Ruby :_ ** _So you had to take care of Sam from a very young age, then?_
> 
> **_Dean :_ ** _I… [He smiled at me apologetically while he searched for his words.] Yeah, it was tough. But Sammy is my whole life, and I didn’t have a choice. This is a period of my life I don’t regret, we spent a lot of time together, my brother and I, and I learned a lot._
> 
> _I think Dean was trying to show me how close they both were, how much he had missed Sam when they were separated. I think he wanted to convey gratitude for all the help I provided. I quickly waved his concerns away. “I’m always happy to help”, I told him. He gave me one of his special smiles. Those were rare ever since he came back from captivity._
> 
> _I pried a little, and finally Dean opened up about what happened during his time with the Archangel Gabriel._
> 
> _Dean is a beautiful man (see picture on page 25). The Archangel saw what was obvious and bought him for one purpose, and one purpose only. It is difficult for me to write what follows, but Dean insisted on telling the whole story._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _So… Tell me, Dean. What was it like?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _[A sigh]. I don’t know where to start._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _Well… Can you tell me what it was like to be a slave? What did you have to do?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _Okay. I… At first it wasn’t that bad. I had chores, I mean… It was everything you would expect from slavery. Lots of works, lots of hours… You get used to, to the hunger, the dirty clothes, the… the way we slept too it was, uh, difficult. But overall it was okay, I mean… I didn’t think it was okay at the time but when he… [He cleared his throat, looking away]. It was okay until I… I realized why he bought me._
> 
>   1. _: I know it’s hard Dean, we can take a break if you’d like?_
> 

> 
> **_D. :_** _No, no! [He smiled weakly]._ _I’m okay I… Okay, ask me. It’s easier if you ask me and I can answer yes or no._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _Alright. So he bought you for… you became a pleasure slave?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _[Whispered]. Yeah. I, uh, I think he waited until I got used to the life, knowing I wasn’t used to all this and he… One night he called me._
> 
> _Not a lot of people are aware of Gabriel’s taste when it comes to pleasure slaves, but Dean told me a bit about them, and I did some additional research. The least you could say is that the Archangel has some rather unorthodox needs. I saw Dean’s eyes shine with unshed tears as he recalled all the hours he spent tied up and all the things he had to do to please his master._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _So that’s how he did it? He called you and… can you tell our readers a little more about this?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _At first I didn’t… I didn’t understand right away, you know? And the other slaves, they hinted at it but I didn’t think… It wasn’t something I was expecting, at all. I’m not into… I’m straight, you know? I had never done that before I… I’m not into the kinds of things he enjoyed but, what could I do? I still had hope that maybe Sammy would find me and I had to survive. I did what I had to._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _How did it go, that first night?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _Uh, it… was the worst night of my life, I think. I… even now, just thinking about it I feel sick. Sam tried to ask about it but I couldn’t… I couldn’t go through telling him the whole story._
> 
> _His position as a pleasure slave gave him access to information a lot of people would have been ready to kill for however, and this is why he agreed to talk. What Dean learned during those days will shatter every misconception we have about Archangels and hopefully will help set us, humans, free. “I felt like I had to tell the world about this,” Dean told me, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “It’s hard for me to remember but I’ll tell you everything.”_
> 
> **_The Shocking Truth:  
>  _ ** _We all heard the story. How God, looking down upon us, saw that we were flawed. He decided we needed guidance, thus sending the Archangels to watch over us, as He would take command and take over our lives as punishment for our misguidance._
> 
> _What Dean told me made me rethink that story._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _So you heard things?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _Yes. I mean he told me. He told me a lot of things. We talked after… After I performed my, uh, duties. I mean he talked to me, and I listened, It was what I was supposed to do. And after a while, well… I think he thought I was into it too, and maybe he thought we had a connection or something, and he started opening up to me. He talked about other angels. About the High council._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _What about it?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _It’s bullshit._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _What do you mean?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _The High Council, it’s a scam. It’s them. It’s the Archangels. They gather once every few years, they call themselves the ‘High Council’ because they have authority over us, but they don’t want us to know about that. They think if we know it’s not God, we’re going to rebel. They don’t even know where God is._
> 
> **_R. :_ ** _I… [A moment of silence]. Are you sure?_
> 
> **_D. :_ ** _Yeah. Sorry to break it to you that way but… It’s the truth. And everybody must know. We can do something._
> 
> _Dean and Sam are risking their lives to bring this message to the masses. What Dean endured is a lot, but sadly his story can be compared to the stories of many still enslaved by the angels. By talking to me, Dean is trying to save all those people still under angels’ and demons’ influence._
> 
> _**R.** : What do you expect will happen now? _
> 
> _**D.** : Well, I hope people will react to what I‘ve told you. I hope they’ll see that they have a real chance at freedom. Real freedom, you know? Without angels watching over us 24/7. And we could maybe get rid of demons that way, too. We could take the Earth back. We were here first, so why shouldn’t we? I just hope people won’t ignore this.“_

Dean is practically vibrating with rage as he gets to the end of the article.

“That fucking bitch!”

He closes his eyes, feeling heat coming to his face in waves and suddenly he can’t stay still. He stands up in one furious move, turning his back on Sam. She outed him. Him and Sam. There’s a picture of him in that journal. If it get widely distributed he’s fucked. If Gabriel finds it he’s fucked. The whole thing is so full of bullshit, anyway!!

“I’m sorry, Dean, I didn’t know…”

He turns to Sam, finally opening his eyes.

“Where did you find it?”

Sam sighs. “The local SRM group. Everybody was reading it… I think… I think it’s spreading.” He gives Dean a pleading look. “I’ve seen people in town reading it, too… I think we need to leave, Dean. We need to hide.”  

He looks down at the table, his anger turning to rage, and suddenly he can’t hold it anymore.

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!” He explodes, grabbing his half-empty bowl of cereals and throwing on the wall beside him.

The bowl hits the wall hard, the sound of it shattering making him feel better for a second. He let his arms fall as he tries to stand still. All he can hear is his breathing, loud in the silent room, and the ghost-echo of the bowl breaking against the wall.

He focuses on his breathing, trying to calm down. After about a minute he feels level enough to look at Sam again without wanting to punch him in the face.

“How did… how did she even know all that stuff?” His voice is still shaking.

Sam sat down on the bed, runs a hand through his hair. He’s avoiding Dean’s eyes.

“I didn’t think…”

“Tell me how the fuck she learned about those things I told you not to tell a fucking soul, Sam!!”

Sam winces when Dean raises his voice and he finally looks up.

“I told her,” he admits sheepishly.

Dean sits down on the chair behind him and he huffs.

“You told her?”

He can’t believe Sam. He knew it. He fucking knew it. Give the kid a good fuck and he loses his mind!

“Not on purpose, Dean! I just…” He looks around as if something or someone was going to barge in and save him from that conversation. “When we… after we… you know… we’d just talk about stuff and… I don’t know. She felt trustworthy, okay? She helped me save you, how could I not trust her?”

“Fuck, Sam!”

“I know, Dean… I’m sorry…”

Dean closes his eyes and he tries to think but it feels like his brain is on fire, unable to grab hold of a single thought. He does his best not to yell at Sam, not to be too angry at him. He tries to reason with himself, tries to tell himself he would probably have done the same. Hell, he did do the same. He told Gabriel about Sam once. He can relate.

“Sorry ain’t gonna help,” he says as he opens his eyes.

“I know, I…”

“Shut up!” He tries to keep his tone even. “I know you’re sorry and you didn’t know, just let me think!”

Sam shuts his mouth. Dean can still detect a hint of anger in his brother’s eyes, probably aimed at him, but Sam keeps still and he waits.

“Okay.” Dean says, trying to organize his thoughts. If he keeps talking maybe it’ll help. “Okay. We tried your way, Sam. And so far my ideas are the only ones who made things go forward so…” Sam finally looks up at him. “We’re going to go check out Raphael’s house. And I don’t want to hear any different!”

“Dean, that’s too dangero…”

“I don’t care!!”

A heavy silence settles in. Neither of them moves until Dean is sure Sam isn’t going to protest anymore.

“We can’t stay here, and we need something to do. So pack your bag, Sammy, we’re doing this.”

~*~

A loud crash resonates into the whole mansion and Camilla, who was just coming back from the dining room, rushes back in at the sound of it. This can’t be good.

Charlie comes out from the kitchen, looking around curiously. She gives Camilla a scared look, and she hesitates before she opens her mouth.

“Mrs. Herbert? What’s that?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Camilla whispers harshly, waving her concerns away. “Go back to work!”

She hears the sound of glass shattering again and she tries to go faster. She isn’t as young as she’d like to be, and her legs have trouble carrying her around the house now.

She knows what the sounds mean. She read the article, and as much as she would like to find Dean and strangle him right now, she needs to keep her anger in check and help the Master first and foremost. She’ll yell at the others later.

Those stupid boys… She told them not to bring that particular newspaper in the house. She told them to throw away the ones they had, or to hide them well at least. She told them not to let the Master see the article. If he’s happy everyone’s happy. If Mr. Herbert was still alive, he would take care of them for her. He was really good at having people following the rules around here.

She tries not to let herself be overwhelmed by the sudden feeling of nostalgia and carefully pushes the door to the dining room. A plate comes crashing on the wall next to her head and she freezes, staring at the Master who’s standing in front of her as he paces furiously on the other side of the room. He grabs another small plate and throws it, rage twisting his features.

Jessica is here too, trying to blend in with the wall it seems, and Camilla sees she’s trying to keep a proper stance but she flinches every time something breaks. She’s shaking like a leaf, looking like she’s about to burst out crying any minute.

Camilla silently signals her to come closer and as soon as Jessica is near she pulls her by the arm and pushes her outside, closing the door behind her. The Master turns around when he hears the door closing. When he sees Camilla he stops for a second before he takes a hold of his empty coffee mug and throws it at the wall on his right with a furious grunt.

He looks at Camilla again. She doesn’t flinch, she just stands at attention, not even trying to take the stance, and she waits.

“Get out!”

He’s practically barking at her. He’s not yelling, though.

“I’m sorry, Master, I don’t think that’d be wise.”

He huffs, his body trembling with anger for a second before he closes his eyes and it stops.

“I said get out, don’t make me repeat myself.” A warning.

“If I get out now there wouldn’t be anybody to stop you from breaking the whole room.” She goes on, trying to keep her voice even. “Then who’s going to clean everything? Because I know it surely won’t be you.”

She tries to keep her scolding face on, even as he opens his eyes again and he stares at her with what looks like murderous intent. He never hurt her before, not even once in over fifty years. She _is_ scared, but she knows he wouldn’t do anything to her. He wouldn’t.

Suddenly the newspaper is in his hand. He waves it at her furiously.

“You knew about this?”

It surprises her, usually he tries to act human around them. He doesn’t use his Grace that often.

“Yes, Master,” she answers, her voice soft, appeasing she hopes.

These last few weeks he’s been moody, and mostly sad, but she tried to be extra careful ever since Dean ran away. He’s never showed that much anger before though, and she doesn’t really know what to do other than trying to calm him down. She wishes Master Castiel was here. At least they could yell at each other, it would do the Master some good.

“Why didn’t you say anything?!”

She waits a second for emphasis, looking pointedly around her then back at him, twisting her mouth and raising an eyebrow.

“Do I really need to explain myself?”

She doesn’t add his title. That’s what she always does when he’s acting like a child or he’s doing something she knows, and he knows too, is wrong. She’s very much aware that he’s older than time itself, but he still looks half her age, even after all these years, and sometimes it’s easy to forget he’s not one of the boys.

He huffs again, turning his whole body toward the window to avoid looking at her. He just stands there, the newspaper in his hand, staring out the window.

“You could maybe call Master Castiel?”

“He’s not answering,” the Master snaps back.

She sighs. She can’t help it. She doesn’t know what to do to get him out of the state of mind he’s in and get him to do something. Before she can think of something else to ask he turns to her again.

“Do you know…” he lifts his arm slightly, the newspaper still in his hand. “Where is it distributed?”

She doesn’t want to answer that, she knows he won’t be happy about what she’s going to tell him but she doesn’t really have a choice. She doesn’t want him to throw another fit if she doesn’t answer fast enough.

“Everywhere, Master,” she simply says.

He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

“What do you mean ‘everywhere’?”

She shifts her weight from one foot to another, suddenly uncomfortable. She wishes she wasn’t alone with him.

“It’s not officially approved, Master. It’s… Those slaves’ rights extremists, they use it to pass news around but it wasn’t broadly distributed until…” He opens his eyes again. He looks more tired than she’s ever seen him be. “That article made a lot of noise. They… It got quite famous. I’m afraid you won’t find a single soul in the country who hasn’t read it by now.”

“Heavens…” he whispers as he closes his eyes again.

He seems to sway on his feet a little, all colors draining from his face.

“I’m… sorry, Master,” she offers.

Startled, he looks up, giving her a curious look.

“About Dean,” she specifies. “I didn’t think he was that kind of man… I’m sorry.” He keeps staring at her, his face blank. She thinks if she keeps talking maybe it’ll help. “What he said, it’s a lie, Master. I hope you know that.”

He raises his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“He was happy when he spent time with you. Don’t let that damn article convince you otherwise. He really was happy. I don’t know why he said those things. I don’t know what he had to gain with…”

“Please, Camilla… I… If I promise I won’t break anything else, will you leave? I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to…” he trails off, takes a shuddering breath.

She nods. She doesn’t know why she started rambling anyway. Maybe because it hurt her, too. Reading things like that. It doesn’t sound like the Dean she knew. She doesn’t understand.

“Yes, Master. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you, Camilla.”

She tries to smile to him as she leaves the room. When she’s about to enter the kitchen she hears another glass breaking. She doesn’t go back.

~*~

Gabriel tries to catch his breath, counting to three each time he inhales, doing the same as he exhales. He’s overwhelmed by anger and fear and he doesn’t know what to do. Cas isn’t answering, Gabriel cannot even feel a nudge from his Grace letting him know he’s busy but okay, nothing. So now he’s alone, the Council is in two days and so he’s done. They’re going to take everything away from him. He betrayed them. They held on for so long and he ruined everything because he’s been stupid enough to let himself feel.

He can’t escape it. There’s his name, right here on the piece of paper crumbled in his hand. He looks out the window again, at the sun setting on the horizon and he tries not to panic.

“ _Gabriel_.”

Anger invades every cell in his body, so violently it makes his head spin. Dean.

“ _Listen, you probably read the article by now and I’m about to… I… I want to say I’m sorry, okay? I never gave that bitch an interview. I never… I hated her! But Sam he…_ ”

“Shut up! Shut up!” He growls, closing his eyes.

Gabriel just shuts everything down, pushing Dean’s voice away, ignoring the prayer. He doesn’t want to hear about him, he doesn’t want to hear his excuses. He can’t.

He’s still standing in the middle of the dining room and he doesn’t know what do with himself so he just flies to his room, sitting on the couch as calmly as possible and he just breathes. He does, for a couple of minutes, but he can’t help thinking about Dean praying to him and curiosity wins him over.

He opens the link between him and Dean again.

“ _…I mean, does that even sound like me? I would never say things like that. I wouldn’t lie.”_

Gabriel snorts. He can’t help but answer out loud, even if he knows Dean can’t hear him. He can’t hold it in anymore.

“Right. You wouldn’t. Like the time you said you wouldn’t leave.”

But Dean can’t hear him and he goes on.

_“You can’t believe it’s true, you know me, Gabriel…”_

“No, I don’t. I really don’t…” Gabriel breathes, leaning forward and hiding his face between his hands.

 _“I swear to you I… Okay, I told Sam about the whole Archangel thing but… I trusted him. I still do he just… We fucked up. But we can fix this okay? Please, believe me._ ”

Dean takes a breath and Gabriel wants to laugh and cry at the same time. He doesn’t see why Dean is even bothering anymore. He has what he wanted.

“ _I swear, I never did anything against you, I wouldn’t hurt you. Ruby, she did it all on her own, she used Sam to fight her cause but I had no part in it. I hope… I hope you can hear me right now_.”

Gabriel keeps breathing, but the anger comes running back, his heart feeling like it’s about to explode with rage. He doesn’t want to hear about Dean’s brother. He’s the guilty one, most of all, he’s the one who found the journalist. He’s the one who took Dean from him.

_“And anyway, people only talk about it because I’m one of them but they… if it would’ve been a regular slave they wouldn’t care that much, it wouldn’t be that big but I’m not that important… they’ll forget about it in a few days. Maybe a few weeks.”_

He can’t take it anymore.

He doesn’t have the strength to try and come up with an answer that Dean wouldn’t even hear anyway, so he just stays still. He keeps listening but his heart seems to pump harder, sending waves of hatred all over his body. Dean has no idea, no idea that he ruined everything, and it makes things even worse.

“ _Okay, I hear the car, Sam is coming back but please…_ ”

He shuts the link down, severs it, pushing so hard against it with his Grace that he almost hears it snap.

~*~

It’s like a door has just been slapped in his face. Dean blinks, stopped short in the middle of his prayer. If he wasn’t sure Gabriel was listening before, now he knows the angel was. And he’s officially fed up, if the wave of Grace Dean was just hit with is any indication.

Sam comes in and finds him here, sitting on the floor on top of his sleeping bag, eyes open wide in surprise. Sam stops at the door and looks at Dean like he’s five.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Dean answers.

He stands up and goes straight for the bag of Chinese take-out.

“Right,” Sam snorts, but he doesn’t press on.

That means Gabriel was listening when Dean… okay, he shouldn’t be thinking about that. If he does he’s going to blush, or worse, get an impromptu boner, and he doesn’t want Sam to ask question and realize he’s been praying to Gabriel again. He tries to listen to what his brother is saying as he goes back to sit on his bedroll.

The little hunting cabin they found is full of shit, so they had to push away all the broken traps, all the pieces of broken chairs and a number of things Dean has no name for into a corner of the room then  sweep the floor a bit, but it’s cozy. Night settled a solid hour ago, so he scattered some candles around while waiting for Sam. It’s oddly soothing. And God knows he needs something soothing right now. He’s been so angry the last couple days as they drove across the country to get to Raphael’s mansion… he gritted his teeth so much they hurt now. But he doesn’t want to let it out on Sam, not yet at least. So he tries to relax as best as he can.

Sam just came back from a little town thirty minutes from here. They’re far from everything, including Raphael’s place. But at least Dean isn’t on edge because of the fear of being discovered or jumped at in the middle of the night.

“I could only find this…” Sam says, getting a little clay pot out of the take-out bag. “Either Holy Oil is getting rare or people are getting scared. I don’t think we’ll have time to gather much. You need to work on your sigils, Dean.”

Dean grunt as he opens one the white take-out box. Tangerine Beef. Perfect. The smell makes his stomach growl in anticipation. He digs in.

“I can draw sigils when I need to, I’m fine.”

“Last time you said that you ended up enslaved.”

“Won’t happen again.”

Sam just glares as Dean stuffs his face.

“And you’ll be here this time.” He adds, his mouth full.

Sam finally sits in front of him, on his own sleeping bag, putting the bag full of food down next to him.

“Dean, this is serious. We could die. We’re probably going to.”

Dean swallows another bite of the tasty beef before he looks at Sam again. He doesn’t know what to say to that, honestly. So he avoids the subject.

“Dude, where’s the soy sauce?”

Letting out a clearly exasperated sigh, Sam digs in the bag and hands a small pack of sauce to Dean.

“Dean!”

“Sam. I know, okay?” He tears the pack open with his teeth, spitting a little bit of plastic on the floor. “You think I want to go back there?”

“I don’t know, Dean, do you? Because you don’t seem that concerned that it’s a possibility!”

Dean laughs bitterly. He pours the sauce inside a second box, mei-fun noodles with shrimps, his favorite, throwing the empty pack inside the take-out bag.

“After what Ruby wrote I don’t think he wants to even hear about me anymore.” He manages to grab a shrimp with his chop sticks and, triumphant, brings it to his mouth. “So, no. I’m not worried. Eat your food, Sammy.”

Sam huffs but he does as instructed. Dean knows he’s playing on Sam’s guilt about the whole thing with Ruby and he knows it’s wrong but he can’t bring himself to care. He’s still too angry to care.

~*~

“Tadaaah!” Dean sings-song.

He points his flashlight at the debris all around them and he winks at his brother.

Sam rolls his eyes, but a small smile graces his face. They’re standing on the ruins of Raphael’s home, and the least Dean can say is that everything is chaotic. There’s not a wall standing anymore, everything is made of dust, stone and bits of concrete. It gets hard to breathe when they start walking around toward the center of the house, looking for something that could point them in the right direction. But all they can find are bits of dishes, bed sheets, pieces of furniture… and finally a huge imprint, burned into the ground, shaped like wings. The ground is clear here, there’s not one speck of debris on the floor, and it looks as if something exploded outward. Dean knows it’s probably what happened. He can even see the tiles still intact where Raphael’s body would have been.

He jumps into the small hole and looks around, trying to dig under the huge pieces of rock all around.

“This is a waste of time, Dean.”

When Dean looks up, Sam is above him, leaning on his knees, his brow furrowed.

“We should leave. I don’t like the feel of this place. Something’s off.”

Dean smiles.

“Come on, Sammy…” he starts digging again. He finds a collar and frowns at it before throwing it away behind his shoulder. “It’s too late to back off now. Help me here.”

“It’s not that, Dean… It’s…” He looks around, like he heard something. “It’s too quiet. Can’t you feel something’s wrong?”

Annoyed now, Dean stops and looks up.

“I’m sorry but we’re not going to abandon everything now that we’re here just because your Spidey Senses are tingling.”

“No, but I…”

Sam freezes again. Suddenly on edge, he looks around and his eyes widen.

“Dean!” He shoots to get Dean’s attention. He’s already taking his angel blade out of the inside of his jacket.

He stiffens, his brow furrowed as he gazes into the dark. He’s looking at something, someone, in the distance. He keeps staring straight ahead as he crouches down and reaches for Dean. Dean takes his own blade out and grabs his brother’s wrist. Sam pulls him out of the hole in one go and Dean doesn’t lose a single second. He takes a fighting stance, looking around.

He stops dead when he spots him. The angel they met at Frank’s. Bal… Baltimore? Was that it?

“Balthazar!” Sam breathes out in surprise.

Ah. Yes. He knew it was something like that. Leave it to Sammy to remember the oddball names!

“Hey, boys! Fancy meeting you here!” The angel chuckles, like he just made a great joke. Dean keeps close to Sam as they try not to move too much, their shoulder touching so they can be sure the other is okay.

Dean eyes the angel, trying to assess the situation. Balthazar is really something, he thinks, quirking an eyebrow at the sight of his deep V-neck tee. He shouldn’t be a threat since he’s the one who helped them hide in the first place, but Dean needs to make sure.

“What do you want?”

“Ah! Straight to the point, I like that,” Balthazar says, clasping his hands behind his back, a smug little smile on his face. “Well… this is going to be awkward, because I need to pull back on our deal, and I don’t do refunds.”

Sam shifts slightly, uncomfortable.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, don’t worry, Darling boy, I’ve no interest in you. You can leave if you want. But I need to have a word with your charming brother here.”

His eyes glimmer with something dangerous and he keeps his gaze fixed on Dean, his smile widening.

“Nice stunt you pulled with that article.” He goes on. “You know you fucked everything up, don’t you?”

“I had nothing to do with what that bitch wrote!”

Balthazar laughs at the way Dean snarls. “Alright, alright. If you say so…”

Sam huffs slightly, impatient now.

“What do you want?”

The angel sighs. “Can’t you just enjoy the moment for a second?” He rolls his eyes dramatically and he looks at Dean again. “I’m here to take you home to your owner.”

Dean snorts, his body relaxing suddenly. “Right. You’re going to do that on your own? You’re sure you don’t wanna call some of your friends while you’re at it?”

“Nah!” Balthazar twists his mouth, amused. “That would mean sharing the reward and I really don’t want to do that.”

Dean can’t help but laugh. Really, that’s hilarious. Sam keeps alert, though. But there’s nothing to fear. The guy’s alone, what does he think he can do against the both of them?

“So you’re here for the money, is that it? I’m sorry, pal, but I don’t think you realize who you’re trying to screw here.”

Balthazar just smiles more. “On the contrary, _Winchester_. That’s why I’m not going to fight you. You’re going to come with me, willingly.”

Dean is so surprised he can’t find anything to answer to that. Seriously? He just barks another laugh.

“But why do this now? Why are you backing off now?” Sam’s voice is steady but Dean can feel he’s so tense he’s slightly shaking. “If you only wanted the reward you could have come after us when it was first issued.”

Balthazar nods slightly, tilting his head on the side.

“I could have done that, yes. But you were always surrounded by people, it was too risky. I tailed you for a while until I realized you were coming here, and I thought it would be a wonderful place to catch up.” He shrugs, looking around. “I like the theatricality of the place.”

Dean still feels like this is a huge joke, but Sam is on edge and it’s starting to get on his nerves, too. He dares a glance at his brother.

“Told you this was dangerous…” Sam whispers.

Dean side-eyes him.

“Really, Sam,” he whispers back.

Balthazar rocks on his heels, his hands still behind his back like they’re not both armed and ready to jump him, and he raises his eyebrows, questioning.

“So, Dean. Are you coming?”

Dean just scoffs, “Of course not!” Really, this is surreal.

He knows the situation is serious, verging on dangerous now, but even if he tries he can’t stop the little smile playing at his lips. Sam moves slightly, trying to shield Dean with his own body. Dean huffs, annoyed. Sam is the one making him nervous.

“How did you find us anyway? I thought your sigils protected us against all angels,” Sam stalls.

Dean tries to push past him, but Sam doesn’t let him.

Balthazar rolls his eyes. “Obviously I always make sure to know where my clients are. In case they try to screw me and Frank. Beside the sigils that kept you warded, I left a little something for myself as well. Sort of like a GPS. Very useful.”

“Listen, dude,” Dean starts, finally feeling anger coming back again. His brother trying to keep him from doing anything doesn’t help either. “No offense but… you’re not going to catch me today, and we’re probably gonna kill you if you try anything so… how about we just go our separate ways and forget we ever saw each other?”

A full throated laugh escapes the angel’s lips. “You’re hilarious!” He manages in between fits of laughter. “No, I don’t think so!” He laughs and laughs for a good thirty seconds before he gradually stops, but his smile stays in place. He sighs. “See, as much as I like being here with you, I really, really want my money now. I plan to thoroughly enjoy my reward. Just think about it! The games, the prostitutes, the astronomical amounts of alcohol! Come now, Darling, don’t make me take you by force.” 

“You can’t fight us both,” Sam says.

Balthazar shrugs. “I won’t. But if you want to try, nobody’s going to stop you. I have to warn you, though, if you put a single scratch on my face, Dear boy, you’re going to regret it.”

Dean and Sam both stare at Balthazar, tension rising in the air. The angel stares back, waiting.

“So? Come on. Do it. Fight me.”

His annoying little smile is still here, widening as he keeps staring at Sam.

“Come one, Sammy boy.” He goads.

And that’s all it takes.

Sam almost growls at the angel and he lunges forward. Dean is so surprised he doesn’t have time to follow his brother. Sam attacks once, first slashing the empty air to scare Balthazar off, to destabilize him, a second time, aiming right at his heart. But the angel counters the blow, grabbing Sam’s forearm with one hand. He takes the other out from behind his back and blows. At first, Dean doesn’t see what’s happening, things going too fast for him to process, but then Sam starts coughing. Dean sees a thin cloud of dust with a weird glow all around his brother’s head.

“Lovely!” Balthazar beams, releasing his grip on Sam’s arm.

Sam sways on his feet, surprised, and he takes a few steps back. Balthazar lets him go, putting his hands behind his back again. He waits, a satisfied smile on his face.

Sam knees fail him and he falls. In two seconds Dean is at his side, probing Sam’s body, assessing the damages. But there’s nothing. He’s not hurt. He looks up at the angel again, fury making his blood boil.

“What did you do?!”

“Don’t worry, he’ll just feel a bit dazed for a while. And he’ll probably won’t be able to walk for a few hours, sorry about that. He’s so tall I didn’t know if the regular dosage was going to work so I tripled it.”

“D… Dee…” Sam tries.

But he slumps down in Dean’s arms, not able to hold himself up anymore. Dean realizes he won’t be able to defend himself if he keeps holding Sam up so he gently lays him down on the ground, careful not to hurt him.

“It’s okay, Sam, I’ve got this,” he whispers.

Sam tries to frown but he can’t keep his eyes open for too long.

“Wai… Dee…”

Dean elects to ignore Sam for now and he stands up again, his angel blade hold straight in front of him.

“Like I said, I’m not going to fight you.” Balthazar goes on. “And now Sam is incapacitated. You can’t really focus on me because you’re worried something will happen to your brother if you stay too far or too close. So no matter what happens, I’ll win.”

Dean glares at him, tries to appear as threatening as he can, but the truth is he’s lost. Balthazar sounds about right, and Dean doesn’t know what to do anymore. The angel’s smarmy smile grows happy as he sees realization set in Dean’s eyes.

But maybe, just maybe, he can fight the angel solo. They should have taken the holy oil with them. Dean should have listened to Sam when he said they couldn’t be careful enough, he knows, but he can do without. If he can keep the guy talking, maybe he can stall long enough to be able to draw a banishing sigil.

“Let’s strike a deal. You, Dean, come with me willingly, I let Sam live. He’ll be out for about twelve hours, if my calculations are correct, and then he’ll able to walk away, go back to whatever place you call home these days. Or…” Balthazar raises an eyebrow, “you can fight me. I’ll take you out, by force, you’ll probably get injured in the process and then, just for good measure, I’ll kill Sam. Or worse, I’ll take him with me and sell him to the closest slave market I can find.” He rocks back on his heels, “You know I can do it. We have a friend in common who’s very skilled when it comes to faking official papers.”

Gritting his jaw, Dean looks down at his brother who’s desperately trying to shake his head, to tell him not to give in. But he has no choice. That’s not even a real deal, and Balthazar knows it. Dean’s fucked. He wants to believe he can fight the angel off, but he’s not sure he can. Balthazar is right about Sam, too. Dean is too worried about his brother. Plus, there’s no flat surface on which to draw a sigil without the angel noticing right away. Now he’s panicking.

“What’s it going to be, Love?”

Dean sighs shakily. With a little tilt of his head he tries to tell Sam that they have no choice. Sam’s eyes widen, and his mouth opens but no sound comes out.

Dean doesn’t know what to do. The only thing he’s sure of is he doesn’t feel like laughing anymore. Real panic sets in now as he realizes he only has one option. He doesn’t want to go back, he doesn’t know what’s going to happen to him, but he knows it isn’t going to be pretty.

Dean turns to Balthazar again. God, Gabriel must be so pissed at him right now. Dean clings to the hope that he isn’t a violent man, won’t become one because of him.

“Fine,” He grinds out.

He doesn’t know how he manages to keep his voice from trembling.

“Great!” Balthazar grins maniacally as he closes the distance between him and Dean. He makes a circling motion in the air with his index finger.

“Turn around, on your knees, please. Hands behind your back.”

Dean does as he’s told. His mind shuts off as soon as his knees hit the ground. He looks at Sam who’s paralyzed, lying on his side, staring back at him with fear and despair written all over his face, but his brain barely registers it. He feels handcuffs closing on his wrists and it brings him back slightly.

Balthazar pulls him up and he loses sight of Sammy when the angel turns him around so they’ll face each other. Holding his hand out, palm facing up, Balthazar smiles at him, almost reassuringly.

“I know you’ll probably change your mind along the way so…” he blows on his hand and dust goes flying around, hitting Dean in the face. He closes his eyes, coughing a few times, and he feels the dust making its way into his throat and nose. “There. You won’t feel it as strongly as Sam but in about three seconds…” he trails off, his gaze wandering on Dean’s face.

Dean frowns because it’s not working. Maybe it’s different for everyone? His heart jumps, suddenly pumping harder because what if he’s immune to that thing? He could fight the angel! He could get out of here! But before he has any time to think about moving, doing something, the world suddenly starts swaying slightly and his legs give out under him. Balthazar catches him before he falls, holding him up.

“Excellent!” The angel exclaims, satisfied.

Dean has trouble seeing straight and he tries to wriggle out of the angel’s grasp but he just slips. Oh. Yes, his hands are tied behind his back. He forgot.

“Okay, on your feet, Cowboy!”

Dean hears the angel, and he tries, but it’s difficult. He thinks about Sam, remembering he’s still here, lying on the floor. He wants to call his name but his mouth is dry, his tongue feeling three sizes bigger than usual. He’s so dizzy he has to slam his eyes shut or he knows he’s going to throw up.

“It’s going to get better in a few minutes,” Balthazar tells him, still keeping him up. “Take the time to get used to it. I need to call your Master, anyway. We can’t just appear over there uninvited, now, can we?” He chuckles again.  

Dean opens his eyes, disoriented. He tries to look around, to find Sam.

“Gabriel, dear, I’m sorry to bother you so late, but I have news for you. Concerning your little escapee,” Balthazar starts. When Dean finally manages to look at him, he sees the angel has his eyes closed. “Are you listening?” He waits, then something probably happened because he smiles. “Good!” After that Dean has to look away because the nausea is coming back. He turns his gaze toward the floor. “I have him with me at the moment. He’s all packed and ready to deliver. I just wanted to make sure I could bring him back to you as soon as possible. And don’t forget you promised a little something in exchange…”

Finally, Dean manages to stand on his own. But Balthazar keeps a firm grip on his arm. Dean still feels light-headed, though, as if he was slightly drunk. He’s not sure he has full control over his body anymore. He can’t fight, that’s for sure.

“Time to go, Dean,” he hears the angel say.

Panic swells up again inside his chest and he looks around frantically until his eyes lock onto Sam’s. They share one last look. Dean tries to silently tell Sam that it’s going to be okay, but Sam doesn’t seem to believe him. Dean knows he’s right but he wants to pretend, he needs to pretend everything’s going to be fine or else he won’t make it.

Finally, Balthazar tugs on Dean’s arm, and the world starts turning.

 

 


	12. You hurt me, I hurt you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, there!
> 
> I just have to say to all of you that are easily triggered, **please read the tags**. The Graphic Depiction of Violence Warning is mostly here for that chapter and the chapter to come.
> 
> Have a good read!

# CHAPTER 12 : You hurt me, I hurt you

 

They land in the entry hall of Gabriel’s mansion, and Dean can hear someone hurry toward them but his vision is still blurry and the flight made him nauseous again. He decides he’s never going to allow any angel to fly him around again if he can avoid it. This travelling method is horrible. He breathes rapidly through his nose to keep himself from throwing up.

“Jesus! You really found him!”

Dean hears someone. Mrs. Herbert. That’s her voice. He feels a surge of fondness suddenly, before he remembers why he’s here. With a grunt, He tries to straighten up but he can’t. He sees Mrs. Herbert’s feet appear in front of him.

“What did you do to him?”

Balthazar sighs. “Nothing bad, Honey, I assure you. Now show me to your Master. We have a transition to make.”

Dean snorts. Balthazar pulls him up and grabs his chin, forcing him to look up.

“What is it, Big Boy?”

Finding his footing again, Dean manages to gives Mrs. Herbert a look before he looks back at the angel.

“Sh’dn’t call ‘er that.”

Balthazar flashes his brightest smile at Mrs. Herbert. “Why not? She’s so sweet!”

Turning around in direction of the stairs, Mrs. Herbert scoffs. “Follow me.”

Walking up the stairs is the most difficult thing Dean has had to do in his entire life. Or at least it feels like it. When they’re finally standing in front of Gabriel’s study, he’s not sure he’ll be able to take another step. And he doesn’t want to. The walls are spinning and he feels like the shrimps he had earlier are trying to climb out of his esophagus.

And then there’s Gabriel. And Sam. Sam is alone, in the middle of nowhere, and it’s night. What if something happens? Dean only managed to stay away from that fucking place for what? Four, six weeks? He can’t remember the exact number even though he’s pretty sure he must have counted the days at some point. But that’s all the time he had with Sam. Six weeks tops. He really doesn’t want to see Gabriel again. It’s too real. He wanted to before, but in a fantasy way. When his life wasn’t hanging in the balance.

He barely has time to blink and they’re already inside. He doesn’t remember walking from the corridor to here. How did that happen?

Balthazar forces him to his knees and he complies, his body folding on itself without him having to make the slightest effort. It’s frustrating. He wants to move, to try and run but his limbs are too heavy.

The door closes behind him.

“What did you do to him?”

It’s Gabriel’s voice. He’s here, right in front of him, Dean realizes. With great difficulty, he raises his head. But the only thing he sees is Gabriel’s torso, at best. Mrs. Herbert appears in his line of vision and comes to stand behind the Archangel.

Balthazar’s hand reaches out to grab his chin and force his head up.

“It’s just a bit of fairy dust, don’t worry! I wanted him compliant, but I didn’t want to hurt him.”

Gabriel crouches down in front of him and looks him over, but he doesn’t try to touch him. Dean’s heart starts beating faster when Gabriel is close enough for him to see. Everything is fuzzy but Dean can make out his eyes, his nose, his lips. He can smell him and it feels weird, almost like a dream. He didn’t know Gabriel even had a specific smell before now. And he hadn’t realized he missed it.

The Archangel is avoiding Dean’s eyes.

“Gab…” Dean tries.

But Gabriel straightens up and Dean is faced with his crotch. He almost wants to make a joke about that before he remembers why he’s here. He can’t believe he forgot again.

“Where did you find him?”

Balthazar shifts slightly. “Can the lady leave, first? Why are you even here?”

Dean assumes the last sentence was directly addressed to Mrs. Herbert.

“Master Gabriel asked me to be here, Sir,” she answers.

Gabriel steps back and Dean can see her again. He has to look up to be able to see Gabriel’s face.

“Fine,” Balthazar huffs. “He was ‘investigating’, if you can believe it. At Raphael’s.”

Dean’s pretty sure Gabriel’s raising an eyebrow at him. But he can’t really see the details of his face from here.

“At Raphael’s?” Gabriel sounds dubious.

“Yes, I know, surprised me, too.” Balthazar says. “I thought I would find him celebrating in some fancy terrorist bar maybe, with that journalist of his, what was her name? Diamond? Ruby?”

Dean snarls. “Don’t ‘ave anyth’ng t’do with that bitch!”

Balthazar pats his head.

“I know, Dear, you said that already. Funny, nobody believes you. Isn’t that a drag?”

“I sw… swear I didn’t…” he pleads, looking at Gabriel. “Y’ave to b’lieve me. I nev’r…”

But Balthazar clasps his hand in front of his mouth before he can finish his sentence.

“Shhh, Deanie, the adults are talking. Now behave, we’re almost done.”

 Gabriel stares at Dean for a second, his face still mostly a blur, but Dean can feel his eyes on him.

 “I guess you want your reward, now,” Gabriel says, addressing Balthazar again.

His tone his harsh, without an ounce of feeling in it. It doesn’t sound like him at all. Maybe it’s his business voice, Dean thinks. He hopes it is.

“That would be a great conclusion to an amazing evening, yes,” Balthazar answers.

Dean can hear the angel’s voice is pleasant but his grip on his mouth tightens. He can barely breathe now and he tries to protest but it comes out as a whine. Gabriel sighs and walks to his desk, leaving Dean’s sight.

Dean doesn’t know what happens next. He feels like he’s dreaming, actually. A laugh tries to make its way out of his throat, but he holds it. Everything is so unreal! Being here is unreal. Seeing Mrs. Herbert holding still in front of him is just weird. It’s as if everything will be back to normal when he wakes up tomorrow morning, in some shady motel bed, with Sam next to him.

Sam. Sam is in danger. Dean knows that, but he can’t find it in himself to feel anything about it. He’s so high…

“Thank you!” Balthazar exclaims.

He lets go of Dean’s chin to take the check Gabriel is handing him. The shackles on Dean’s wrists disappear and Balthazar releases him. He falls and barely has time to put his hands in front of him to avoid landing on his face. The nausea comes back and he just stares at the floor under him until it stops.

“He’s all yours,” Balthazar adds.

 “Camilla, please see Balthazar out. Then come back here and bring Victor with you.”

“Yes, Master,” Mrs. Herbert answers.

Dean hears footsteps. Mrs. Hebert walks to the door, but Balthazar doesn’t follow right away.

“I know the situation isn’t ideal, Gabriel,” he says, “but it was a pleasure seeing you again, nonetheless.”

They shake hands, Dean can hear the sound of their palms clasping against each other, but Gabriel doesn’t say a word. Maybe he nodded or he smiled. Dean doubts he smiled. He seems pretty pissed, now that Dean thinks about it. He knows he should start panicking, getting worried or something. But he just can’t. He’s good here, on all fours, staring at Gabriel’s weird rugs under him. He traces the patterns with his eyes, and it almost feels like he’s flying. He can even see little faces made by the shapes of the rugs’ designs. Funny.

“Dean.”

Okay, yeah, he’s at the mansion. And Gabriel just called his name. There’s not a sound around, so he guesses the Old Herbert and Balthazar are gone. He huffs as he pushes himself back until he’s kneeling again, sitting on his heels, his hands on his thighs. He can’t do better than that.

He startles a bit when he realizes Gabriel is crouching down in front of him again, and he’s really, really close. Closer than Dean would have expected.

“Hi,” he manages.

Gabriel doesn’t answer. He just looks at Dean, his face all serious, and he waits. Dean doesn’t see what all the fuss is about. It’s not like someone died or anything like that.

He tries to move but he remembers his calves are stuck under his thighs. And suddenly he realizes he’s kneeling in front of Gabriel, just like old times. It’s the funniest thought that ever crossed his mind. He snorts. Gabriel sighs.

“What’s so funny?”

Dean smiles lazily, waving one hand around, then pointing his index fingers at himself and at Gabriel in turns.

“Th… this. ‘Looks kinda famil’ar, see?” Gabriel frowns. “S’like I nev’r left!”

Gabriel keeps staring for a few seconds, taking a deep breath like he’s trying to hold back. From doing what, Dean doesn’t know. Maybe he wants to punch Dean in the face. That’d seem logical.

“Don’t worry, I won’t force you to do that anymore. I wouldn’t want you to go through the _worst night of your life_ again.”

Dean blinks, the implication taking some time to make its way into his brain. Then he huffs, exasperated.

“S’riously? I nev’r…” He has to close his eyes for a second because the walls are starting to spin again. “It wasn’t… th’ worst night o’ my life, I mean… you… ‘ave to admit you took me by… uh, surprise, y’know?” He has to stop again. Suddenly he laughs, because he realizes he just made a bad double-entendre. “But I nev’r…”

“Shut up!” Gabriel cuts him.

Surprised, Dean stops and opens his eyes again.

“Look around you, Dean! Do you know where you are?”

The angel looks angry now, and frustrated, so Dean tries to sober up as much as he can.

“S’rry,” he mumbles. “I know, I just… ‘m so high, okay? I…” He huffs.

Talking is getting more and more difficult and he just wants to sleep. But he blinks a few times again to wake himself up, and he stares at Gabriel. He’s in danger, he knows that. More than Sam is. Gabriel looks really pissed so Dean assumes he’s going to be punished. He wonders how. It’ll probably hurt. Maybe he’ll die.

“ ‘re you gon’ kill me?”

That seems logical, too. He’s glad he’s drugged right now, because he doesn’t even care about dying anymore. That's good.

Gabriel huffs, but his expression doesn’t change. “No. That’s not how we do things.”

“ ‘kay.”

“But you’re going to be punished, you’re aware of that?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t seem too concerned about it.”

Dean feels like he’s going to fall so he tries to steady himself, taking a breath. Gabriel seems angry, but he sounds surprisingly patient.

“I don’ think I can… uh, r’lly care right now. I just… I’ll panic t’morrow.”

Gabriel doesn’t answer to that. They keep staring at each other for what seems an eternity to Dean. He’s okay with that. The angel’s eyes look like they’re glowing, like they’re full of Grace. It’s probably his anger showing through his vessel, but it’s beautiful. Finally, Gabriel opens his mouth again.

“You have no idea how bad things are going to get for you this time, do you?” He whispers. “You’re going to regret the day you were born, you know.”

He stands up. Dean doesn’t know what to tell him. He believes him, alright. And he feels a bit of fear in a dark corner of his mind, but it’s so unlike Gabriel to say things like that. He has trouble believing the angel really opened his mouth to say these things.

The door opens behind him, but he doesn’t have the strength to turn around. He sees Gabriel step aside.

“Take him down,” he orders.

“Yes, Master.”

It’s Victor’s voice. Dean and him never really got along, and it’s a shame. He seems like a really great guy. Maybe after Dean is punished and he comes back to work, they’ll be able to talk a bit more?

He feels strong hands pulling him up and tugging at his arms. Suddenly he realizes they’re taking him away. Panic comes back full force. He doesn’t know why now, why not before that. He just knows he doesn’t know anything, what’s going to happen to him, where they’re going to take him and he’s scared.

“Waitwaitwaitwait,” he blurts out.

But Victor keeps pulling him toward the door and his body is too weak to fight it. He’s just too exhausted to fight. Gabriel has already turned his back on him. As Dean gives in and follows Victor, he sees the angel going back to his desk, Mrs. Hebert standing in front of it and waiting.

Victor closes the door and Dean doesn’t see anything anymore. He stops thinking. It’s easier.

~*~

Hung-over. Again. That’s how he feels. It’s never good. Never good waking up in that state. And this time his brain feels _thick_. This is so weird. And he’s so uncomfortable. This is not normal. What the…?

Dean opens his eyes. Everything’s dark around him, and he’s lying on something very, very hard. He doesn’t dare move as he tries to listen to his surroundings. He doesn’t remember a thing, and that’s never a good sign. But there’s no noise around. Only the echo of water dropping, really, really far away.

He sits up, letting his feet slide until he finds the edge of the thing he was lying on. It’s made of wood, and it’s a bit thick. A large plank then? He lets his legs hang and they quickly find the ground. Hard too. He bends down to touch it. It feels like concrete. Well, this is weird. When he tries to have a clearer view of his surroundings, he sees that the plank is held up by too large chains, embedded in the wall behind him.

Is he in a cell? What the hell?

He stands and walks around, following the walls with one hand, the other held up in front of him in case he bumps into something. He does, on the right of the door, and after touching the thing for a while he realizes it’s a little toilet. But that’s all there is. The cell is not that big. About seven by seven feet. The door is right in front of the wooden plank. He takes a seat again, holding his knees up to his chest. It’s fucking freezing in here. He needs to remember what happened.

If Sammy was here…

Sam. Something, a spark of a memory, then nothing. Sammy. Sam. Sammysam. Sam. Samsamsamsamsamsam. Why does thinking about Sam makes him feel so…

“Holy shit!”

He can’t believe he forgot. Sammy, lying on the ground, paralyzed. The rest is a blank. But it’s coming back he can feel it. Fuck, what happened to his brother? Something about… About angels? He and Sam were looking for something where Raphael has been killed. But it’s not that, it’s something else. There was… there was… Another one, an angel… B… Bal-something. Balthiraz. Baltha…zar. Balthazar. The fairy dust.

“Fuck!” He breathes.

Gabriel. That’s where he is. Gabriel’s place. Somewhere inside the mansion. Fuck. How could he forget? Shit! He remembers gradually everything that happened the night before and as he does his heart seems to sink into his stomach. This isn’t good. It’s worse than the first time he’d been taken. So much worse. He’s going to die, he can feel it. Gabriel said they weren’t gonna kill him, but he’s still going to die. Accidentally. Or at least it will look like it, probably. He’s supposed to regret the day he was born, too, that’s another bad thing. Suddenly he’s not so cold anymore. He can’t believe Gabriel said something like that. This is so unlike him. If Dean could talk to Cas, maybe he would listen. He’s not emotionally invested in all this. He would listen and he would believe Dean.

But first he needs to calm down. His heart is beating so hard and fast it feels like it’s about to pop out of his chest. _Breathe, Winchester_. He takes a few breaths and tries to empty his mind, letting his forehead rest against the top of his knees.

Just a few breaths, and he’ll call for Cas. He just needs to calm down, and stop panicking. _Don’t panic. Just fucking breathe and it’ll be okay_.

One breath in. One breath out.

In. Then out.

In.

~*~

A loud metallic sound resonates into the cell, startling Dean awake. He fell asleep… Well, that’s one way to cope with an anxiety attack. At least it worked. Fear is still here, deep in the pit of his stomach, but everything’s under control now.

The door opens and Dean has to close his eyes at the sudden brightness. He blinks a few times until he gets used to the light again. It’s coming from the wall behind the door. There’s a little window there, on top of the wall. He thinks he can see the ground, so he knows he’s not totally underground at least. He’s never been here before, though.

Bobby is in the doorway, a bowl and a bottle of water in his hands. He abruptly put the bowl and the bottle of water on the floor, and turns to leave.

“Hey, hey! Bobby!” Dean tries, standing up. “Bobby, wait!”

His throat is so dry it comes out as a whisper.

Sighing loudly, Bobby stops and turns around again.

“What do you want?”

Dean coughs a few times, then hold his index finger up in the air, looking at Bobby. _Just one sec._

He grabs the water bottle and tries to drink slowly until his throat burns a little less. He doesn’t drink much, because he doesn’t know how long it will be until they bring him another bottle. He doesn’t want to take anything for granted, seeing as how pissed Gabriel was.

When he thinks he’ll be okay for the time being, he puts the bottle down on the ground. His stomach growls in protest and he almost feels the water going all the way down. How long as he been out?

“Uh… How long have I been here?”

“You slept for almost three days.” Bobby grunts. “Almost thought you wouldn’t wake up.”

Three days? That thing Balthazar dosed him with must have been really strong. He still feels a bit dizzy, now that he thinks about it.

“I… Uh, okay. Well… now I’m all up and ready to work so… how long do you think Gabriel will keep me in here? I mean I know this is my punishment and all but…” He trails off.

He doesn’t know how to ask this, he doesn’t want to seem pushy or anything. He doesn’t want them to keep him locked in this cell forever. Bobby gives him the most murderous glare Dean has ever seen.

“You have no idea what you did, boy,” he snarls.

Dean sighs, exasperated. Why does everybody think he would sell them out like this?

“I never gave that interview. Ruby’s a bitch who just…”

“They can take us away now, did you know that?” Bobby goes on, ignoring him. “The Council. They got Master Gabriel on trial. They want to demote him. If they do they’ll take us away from him. We’ll be sold and we’ll go back to the life he saved us from. You didn’t think about that when you gave everything away! You free men, you’re only just thinking about yourselves!”

Dean doesn’t know what to answer to that. He just opens his mouth, looking for words, but closes it right away. He knows nothing he can say could make this better.

“I’m sorry.”

Bobby huffs angrily at that and steps out, closing and locking the door behind him. Dean is left alone in the dark again.

~*~

Dean slept. A lot. He doesn’t know how many hours, how many days he’s been in here already. His water bottle is almost empty. He figures it mustn’t have been that long, or else they would have brought him another one. Or something to eat, at least. Gabriel is not the type of guy who would let him starve to death.

He wonders if that’s all Gabriel is gonna do to him. Leave him to rot in here, in the dark, with little to no food, just barely keeping him alive until he begs for forgiveness, maybe? That sounds like him. A non-violent solution he doesn’t have to get involved in. Gabriel doesn’t like violence. So maybe that’s Dean’s punishment. Staying in here, in this cell, for a long while.

He needs to take a leak. But the thing that’s supposed to be a toilet stinks, and it doesn’t look like it could hold much anyway. Dean is scared of trying it. His eyes find the empty water bottle. For a while he just sits there, looking at the toilet and the bottle, wondering which one would work best.

Finally he gives in, and walks to the toilet. It really, really stinks. There’s something in it, he doesn’t want to know what it is. His bladder is so full he has no other choice but to quickly do what he has to, without looking into the thing too much.

~*~

He thinks it’s been a week. They brought him another bowl of that awful tasting gruel they’d brought him on the first day again, and another bottle. The first one is full. Dean threw it in a corner, so he wouldn’t have to think about what’s inside. The toilet was stinking so much, and it looked like what was inside was about to overflow, that he decided to use the bottle. At first he laughed about it, but now it’s just humiliating. Last time he tried to empty his bladder that way, the bottle was already too full and it spilled all over. Now he smells like pee. He just wants to get out of here and take a good, long, hot shower. He wants to forget about everything. He wants to tell Gabriel he’s sorry.

He tried to ask for Castiel but Victor was the one who came by this time, and he didn’t even look at Dean. He doesn’t know how long he’s gonna hold on for before he goes crazy.

~*~

It gets better after a while. Dean tries to work out, do some push-ups to keep in shape, or at least to keep himself from thinking too much. It’s the worst, he thinks, in all of this. Being alone, he has no other choice but to think, think, think, until he feels sad and miserable and alone.

Bobby and Victor come sometimes, bring him food and water, each taking a turn, but they don’t talk to Dean. Not even Bobby. He pretends he doesn’t hear what Dean says. Dean tried to ask after Castiel again, but it’s no use. Nobody tells him anything.

They came twice, each. He doesn’t think they come every day. Maybe once every two or three days. So he’s probably been in there for what, a bit more than a week? He can’t be sure. Sometimes it feels like it’s only been a few hours since their last visit. Sometimes it feels like days. He can’t be sure, but he tries not to think about it too much, because he realized thinking about time was giving him some sort of panic attacks.

So he works out. Or paces his cell, looking down at his feet. He can see in the dark, now. He got used to it. He counts the little cracks in the floor as he paces around, and it helps.

Some days, he hopes that it’s not his only punishment. He hopes Gabriel planned something a little more painful, but quicker. Some other days he’s grateful it’s just this.

He’s tired. He hopes it won’t be too long until things go back to normal.

~*~

He hopes Sam is okay. He hopes his brother is not trying to get him out of here again. Truth is, Dean is scared of what Sam is ready to do to save his ass. Dean knows he’s not worth that much. Sam tried once, and they’re all back to square one. There’s no use in trying again, really.

If he just has to stay in this stinky cell for a few months, then so be it. It could have been worse.

He hopes there’s nothing worse coming. He smells like sweat and pee, and he’s cold. And hungry. And thirsty.

God, he hopes Sam is better than him. Because this, right here, it sucks.

~*~

This is too much. He can’t stay in here. He’s not a fucking dog, for fuck’s sake!! They can’t keep him like this, with no bed, no food, no fucking decent toilet so he can avoid pissing himself every time he tries to empty his bladder.

He’s so furious. He hasn’t touched the food they brought him this time. His stomach growls louder and louder as the minutes tick away, but he doesn’t touch it. He doesn’t want to play by their rules anymore.

He’s tired and he’s angry and he just wants to get out of here.

~*~

Fuck Gabriel. Fuck him and his fucking council. Dean never asked for this. He never did anything wrong and he’s the one who’s being punished instead of that Ruby bitch. He hates it in here. It’s really starting to smell. He’s is sick of these walls.

He can’t stay seated anymore. He wants to run, he wants to see the sun. And Bobby and Victor still aren’t talking to him. Well, fuck them, too! He doesn’t give a shit anymore. He just can’t wait to see Cas, so he can explain everything.

Talking about Castiel, fuck him, too! Why hasn’t he shown up yet? He’s the ethical one. He should have been here when Dean was brought in. Where the fuck is he?

Dean is furious. It’s not even fury anymore. It’s more than that. He wishes there was something in the cell he could break. But there’s nothing, nothing at all in here, so he just keeps pacing around, faster and faster until the weight in his chest becomes unbearable and he ends up punching a wall.

The pain is welcomed. At least it makes him feel something other than anger. His hand bleeds for a little while. He just stares at the wounds on his knuckles for what seems like hours, frozen in place. His heart slows down after a while. The anger is still here, it still feels like something is trying to crawl out of his stomach, but at least it’s not as strong as it was before.

He goes back to sitting on the plank. He keeps staring at his hand. It helps a little. He knows it won’t last so he just enjoys the peace for now.

~*~

It’s been so long, now. Dean doesn’t know how long exactly, but it feels like an eternity. He would give anything just to be able to get out of here for just five minutes. Breathe some fresh air, at least. He’s not angry anymore. He’s pretty sure he smells worse than ever before but he probably gotten used to it. He doesn’t smell anything anymore. He’s probably going blind, too, sitting in the dark all day.

Bobby and Victor seem to come more often now. He thinks they bring him food every day, because he feels slightly better than he did before. He’s been in situations like this before, when he couldn’t eat for days at time, so he knows how that feels. He knows he’s getting stronger every day, now. And that’s the worse part of everything. When he was too weak, too tired to do anything, it was easier to accept everything. It was easier to just say ‘fuck it’ and use the stinky toilet when he needed it. Easier to eat the thick porridge thingy they brought him when he felt famished. Now his mind is getting clearer and clearer as the days pass and he feels desperation slowly taking over.

Someone unlocks the door outside and Dean sits up suddenly. Bobby is the one bringing him food and water this time. Great. Bobby is not a bad guy. He’ll listen if he sees that Dean is truly desperate.

Bobby puts everything on the floor in front of the door, like he always does, and he turns to leave.

“Bobby, please, wait!” Dean exclaims, rising up. “Please, just listen to me, five seconds is all I ask!”

With a sigh, Bobby turns around again and glares at him.

Dean tries to smile.  “Thank you!”

“Three seconds. Two…”

“Okay, okay! I… Please! Please, can you ask Gabriel if I… I just want to get out of here, for a few minutes, that’s all! Just… take a shower or something! Please…” He thinks about Sam and his puppy eyes, and he tries to do the same. “I’ll do anything he wants, please…”

Bobby keeps glaring.

“I’ll do anything, I swear… I just want to take a shower at least… come on, Bobby, I know you’re mad at me but I’m sure even you know that he can’t keep me here forever like this… it’s just… I feel disgusting, okay? Please. Can you ask him?”

Dean pleads with all he’s got. He tries to stay away from Bobby, make himself appear non-threatening, and he waits. Bobby just looks at him, seemingly thinking over what he just said. Finally, he huffs.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He lets out.

With one last angry look he steps out and locks the door behind him. Letting out a sigh of relief, Dean sits back on his makeshift bed. He hopes Gabriel will listen. He’s not mean. He wouldn’t just ignore Dean, even if he thinks Dean hurt him. Dean knows he wouldn’t.

~*~

Victor came but he didn’t say anything about a possible shower, or even a change of clothes. When Dean asked he ignored him, like he always does. Either Bobby didn’t tell Gabriel what Dean asked, or Gabriel doesn’t give a shit.

Dean is desperate. He stinks. He really does. He wants to get out of here. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. If only Castiel could show up, everything would be fine.

He hopes they’ll listen to him.

~*~

A few days have passed again. Or at least he thinks so. But he’s still here and he doesn’t know if his plea has been heard or not. He really needs to get out. Just five minutes would be enough. So he decides to try something else. He’s not sure it’ll work, but he really needs to try.

Letting his body slip to the floor, he lands gently on his knees and he lets his hands fall on his thighs. Once he’s comfortable enough, he closes his eyes.

“Gabriel,” he starts, “I hope you can hear me. I know you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore, but please, please listen, just one more time and I’ll leave you alone, I’ll never pray to you again, I swear…”

He stops, waiting for something. He doesn’t know what exactly, but he thinks maybe he can feel it if Gabriel is really listening. But nothing happens.

“I… I’m sorry, you know? I didn’t know about the Council, Bobby told me and… I wish I could do something to help. But I…” He clears his throat. “I really need to wash myself. Really. I mean, I know this is supposed to be my punishment, but please… you’re not cruel, Gabe. I know you’re not. I just want a shower and that’s it. I’ll come back here when I’m done, I won’t make a fuss, I swear. Please. Please, if you can hear me, can you think about it, at least?”

Taking a breath, he opens his eyes and looks up. He doesn’t know where he is, exactly, but it kinda feels like Gabriel would hear him better if he looks in the right direction.

“I’m willing to do anything you want if you agree. You understand? Anything. I won’t protest, I won’t fight you. I’m begging you, please let me out for five minutes so I can clean myself. Please.”

Maybe there’re too many ‘pleases’ there, but he doesn’t want to lose this chance.

“I… I know you think I betrayed you, but I… I swear I never talked to Ruby.” He wipes his brow with the back of his hand and sighs. “Please, believe me. I hated her. Still do. She used my brother to get her own profit. I never said anything, I swear. I only told Sam, and she…” He lets out a shaky breath, thinking about his brother. Running his hand on his mouth, grazing the stubble that started to appear a few days ago here, he tries to shake the thought away and focuses on Gabriel again. “Please, Gabriel. Just give me five minutes out of here… I’ll do anything… and then maybe we can talk about… about that article thing, okay? Just, think about it. Please.”

Finally, he runs out of things to say, so he clears his throat again. “Thank you,” he adds, quietly.

He can do nothing but wait, now.

~*~

Dean’s sitting on his plank, knees hold up to his chest, his head bowed. He’s been trying to keep his mind clear for a while now. He tries to keep the bad thoughts away. Every time he stops moving, his brain takes over and his thoughts are getting gloomier as the hours, as the days pass.

He’s stopped hoping, now. There’s no use. Either something will happen, or it won’t. And it makes everything feel ten times worse.

When he hears the door unlocking, he doesn’t even look up. He knows that whoever this is, they won’t talk to him, so why bother?

There’s a moment of silence, then the sound of something hitting the ground.

“Come on, Dean. I don’t have all day.”

Bobby’s voice echoes in the little cell. Dean finally raises his head, more out of curiosity than anything else. A little basin half-full of water is waiting at Bobby’s feet, and he’s holding a pile of clothes.

Bobby shifts his weight, visibly annoyed, and he huffs.

“What’re you waiting for?”

He looks… tired, sad almost. Dean sighs. He doesn’t want to think about what it means. He looks at the basin instead.

“What’s that for?”

“Decoration.” Bobby deadpans. “What do you think, idjit? You wanted a wash, now get to it, I have things to do.”

So he’s not even gonna be able to get out of the cell? Whatever… He doesn’t have the strength to care anymore. He stands up, slowly, removing his shirt first and throwing it on the ground. He takes off his shoes and socks, then his tee and pants next, and he stands there for a second, shivering in the cold cell, wondering if he feels indifferent enough to get completely naked in front of Bobby.

Yeah, no. He still has enough dignity left to feel embarrassed about that.

“Can you…?” He finally lets out.

Bobby raises an eyebrow but turns his back on Dean.

“Thanks…” Dean mumbles as he pushes his underwear down.

There’s a soft sponge in the basin, so he takes it and starts scrubbing his body as best as he can. The water is lukewarm, but he’s been so cold for so long now it still feels like heaven. When he’s done he puts the sponge back into the water and he clears his throat.

Bobby doesn’t even look back as he hands Dean a small towel. Dean takes it, and dries himself thoroughly. He doesn’t want to catch a nasty cold on top of everything else. He takes the clothes from Bobby’s hand as he gives back the towel, happy to see that there’s a new set of underwear among them.

He dresses quickly, putting on the standard white long sleeve shirt and the brownish, thick pair of pants Gabriel has his slaves wear. The smell of fresh laundry assaults him, and he feels a bit more comfortable all of a sudden. Wearing new socks is also a relief.

“I’m all set, thanks.”

Bobby turns to look at him again and sighs. He’s been doing that a lot in the small amount of time he’s been here. Dean wonders if everything’s okay for them up there. Bobby gathers his old clothes and lifts the basin off the ground.

Hesitating for a second, his gaze flickers to the ground, before he looks back at Dean.

“Good luck, boy,” he offers.

There’s no anger in his voice anymore. All of Dean’s senses suddenly lit up in alarm. Bobby tries to leave but Dean grabs his shoulder before he can cross the threshold.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothin’.”

“Bobby, what do you mean?”

Bobby huffs, he keeps looking at the ground obstinately and his brow furrows. He keeps his back to Dean as he answers.

“You’re gonna need it, that’s all I can say.”

He shrugs Dean’s hand off him and he leaves. Dean hears the door being locked again. He stares at it for a while, wondering what Bobby just tried to tell him. He has the feeling that he’s not going to like the answer.

~*~

Sitting at his desk, head in his hands, Gabriel tries not to think about what he’s going to have to do. Soon. Very soon. He can’t delay it any longer, now. He sent Bobby to Dean because he thought, even if Dean doesn’t deserve any kindness, Gabriel couldn’t leave him like this, stewing in his own filth.

“You finally gave in, hm?”

Gabriel’s eyes snap open when he hears his brother’s voice. He looks up, eyeing Lucifer who just appeared in his study.

“I’m gone for half an hour and you’re already doing things behind my back…” Lucifer goes on, raising an eyebrow.

Gabriel feels so nervous, so full of energy that he doesn’t have the strength to control his emotions. He’s still in his own home, and Dean is still his slave. He’s a bit vexed that his brother is actually lecturing him because he felt merciful.

“I just wanted him to be clean,” he answers, a bit defensively. “I couldn’t leave him like this, it would have been—“

“What?” Lucifer interrupts him, loudly. “Inhuman? That’s what you were going to say, isn’t it?”

Gabriel stares at his brother, feeling anger boil inside of him. He can see in Lucifer’s eyes that he’s feeling the same. He knows this discussion is not going to go in a direction he’ll like. He’s still scared of his brother, of his outbursts, but he can’t help glaring furiously at him anyway.

“When will you understand that humans are merely animals, undeserving of all the attention you give them?” Lucifer spits, “They’re not grateful. They don’t care about your kindness, they use it against you. That Winchester boy is proof of that! Look at how he thanked you for sparing him after everything he had already done!”

Gabriel feels heat coming to his face. He’s only doing what he thinks is right, doesn’t his brother understand? He’s doing what has been seared into his brain since the beginning of his existence.

“Father told us we had to take care of them!”

“Father isn’t here anymore!!” Lucifer counters, his face twisted in anguish for a second, before he schools his features. “We’re making the rules. You’re a traitor in our brethren’s eyes now. And if you don’t want to fall like I almost did all those centuries ago then you’ll do what I tell you, are we clear?!” 

Gabriel doesn’t move. He sees why Lucifer is angry now. He wants to keep his own fury inside of him, he wants to use it to find the courage to stand up to Lucifer but he knows his brother is right. He _is_ a traitor, now. There’s nothing he can do to save himself, except accepting his brother’s help. He suddenly feels despair wash over him, chasing the anger away, and he slumps back in his chair. He nods, his eyes never leaving his brother’s. Lucifer walks closer to his desk, smiling sadly.

“You don’t know what it took to get back to what I am now, little brother…” he says, quieter now. “Believe me, you don’t want to experience it. I don’t want you to experience that pain.” He leans over the desk and his hand comes to rest on Gabriel’s cheek. “Do you understand?”

Slowly, Gabriel nods again. He can see real pain in Lucifer’s eyes, and his heart clenches in sympathy.

“I’m sorry,” He breathes. “I just thought…”

“Don’t think. Act, Gabriel.” Lucifer says, straightening up. “You’re always thinking too much. And it always destroys you. You need to get rid of Dean.”

“Lucifer, I can’t…”

“I’ll call Zachariah tomorrow. It needs to be done.”

Lucifer doesn’t give him any choice in this. Gabriel promised he’d do it. So the only thing he can do now, when his brother is looking down at him, giving him a pointed look, is to nod.

“Alright. Tomorrow,” he reluctantly agrees.

Lucifer smiles, wide and satisfied.

“Good. See you tomorrow, then. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”

Gabriel nods absent-mindedly as Lucifer disappears, flying away. He’ll have to do it. Tomorrow. He’ll have to punish Dean like he promised he would. His stomach tightens in apprehension, and he lets out a big breath.

He can do it. He needs to do it, or he’ll lose everything. He needs to show Lucifer he can be the great Archangel his brother wants him to be.

~*~

Today’s the day. Gabriel stayed in his study the whole night. He can’t do anything, he’s too nervous. He needs to be in full control of his vessel today. This afternoon, Dean will get his punishment. And everything will be set right.

That’s what he keeps telling himself. He’s not sure it’s working, because he feels like he’s going to witness his own execution. His nerves never affected him that strongly before. He doesn’t like it one bit.

Standing in front of the window, he looks outside, admiring the view. Looking at the sun raising or setting has always felt soothing. It’s stable, reassuring. It helps him settle down, usually.

He feels Lucifer’s Grace poking at his own just before he hears the sounds of wings, announcing his brother’s arrival. When he turns around he expects everything but the look of profound sadness on Lucifer’s face.

Suddenly alarmed, he freezes. “What happened?”

Lucifer lets out a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, Gabriel… I’m sorry I have to tell you this now, but I need you to stay strong, do you hear me?”

Gabriel doesn’t dare move. He doesn’t understand. “What is it?”

“One of my lieutenant’s found something… I came as soon as he told me.” Lucifer hesitates before he goes on. “It’s about Castiel.”

Gabriel’s heart misses a beat. “What happened?”

Taking a breath, Lucifer hands Gabriel a trench coat that wasn’t here a second before. Castiel’s coat. Half torn and covered in blood. Gabriel doesn’t take it. He keeps still.

“He’s dead.” Lucifer whispers, walking slowly to him. “I’m sorry, Gabriel.”

Gabriel feels like a ton of bricks has just been dumped on his head.

“That’s not possible.”

“It is, I’m sorry. I know Castiel and I didn’t really get along but… that doesn’t mean I enjoy being the one to tell you this. My angels found a body. Cremated. With imprints of wings around it. This…” he indicates the trench coat with a look, “was on the ground next to the body. Seems like he was trapped, with Holy Oil. And then stabbed.” Gabriel feels his head starting to turn violently. “They tried to bring the body back but it disintegrated as soon as they touched it.”

Gabriel wants to throw up. For the first time in a long time, his vessel is taking over, emotions assaulting him in waves.

Lucifer is close to him now. Delicately, he pushes the coat into Gabriel’s hand. Gabriel tries to push him away but he feels the remnants of Cas’ grace on the coat and he stops fighting.

It’s true. Castiel’s dead. Why else would Lucifer have his coat, soaked in his own Grace?

“Do you know what he was doing? Maybe it could help find who did this?” Lucifer tries, gently.

His voice sounds so far away. Gabriel can’t really hear him. What was Cas doing? Following a lead Dean had given him. And someone burned him to death. With Holy Fire. _I spent the last couple of hours trying to extinguish a holy fire I was trapped in_ , he remembers Castiel said. Dean told Castiel. And Samuel, Dean’s brother, he’s probably looking for him again…

They could have trapped Cas long before Balthazar brought Dean back. They could have just called him. They have Holy Oil, they have Angel blades.

Suddenly he’s sure it’s all on the Winchesters and a furious, cold rage invades every cell in his body. Did Dean know this? Was it planned before he was brought back here? They knew Cas would answer if they called. Last time they did, he went to them without notifying anyone. They probably thought if they killed Cas, Gabriel would let go of Dean. He’s extrapolating but he’s almost sure he’s right.

Lucifer’s hand on his shoulder brings him back and he blinks at his brother.

“Gabriel?”

“Thank you,” Gabriel quietly says. “I’ll see you later. Let me know when Zachariah is here.”

He holds Cas’ coat close to his heart and he flies away.

~*~

The door to Dean’s cell opens again, this time sooner than it usually does. Curious, Dean sits up carefully and waits until he gets used to the day light coming from behind whoever it is this time. It’s supposed to be Bobby. But then again, if he’s bringing him food and water, he’s a bit early.

But it’s not Bobby standing on the threshold. It’s Victor, and a guy Dean hasn’t seen before. A bit chubby, old, with white hair and a creepy satisfied smiled plastered on his face.

“It’s time, Dean,” the guy says.

Victor doesn’t say anything and steps closer to Dean, shackles in his hands. Dean looks up at the old guy, raising an eyebrow.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Zachariah. We’re going to spend the next few hours together. But I doubt you’ll appreciate them as much as I will,” he smirks.

What the fuck does that even mean? Victor comes closer, trying to grab Dean but Dean shoves him away. “Hey! What are you doing?”

Suddenly he’s pulled forward by what he recognizes as Grace. Landing on his knees, he looks up again and sees that Zachariah is pointing two fingers at him. He can’t move. An angel then. What the hell is happening?

“Where is Cas? I wanna talk to him!” Dean snarls as Victor comes behind him and ties his hands behind his back.

“Come with me, please,” Zachariah goes on, not paying any attention to what Dean just asked.

Victor pulls him on his feet and pushes him forward. Dean has no choice but to follow the angel. They leave the cell, taking a long, damp corridor leading to the cellar right under the kitchen. Looking back, Dean notices the little door they just went through. He never saw that door before, even if he came here a few times. He knew they were cells in the basements but he would never have thought they’d be here. They walk up the stairs, entering the kitchen, but nobody’s here to great them.

Dean is curious to discover what this is all about, but as they keep walking, he feels cold fear starting to creep up his body, making his knees go weak and his insides clench unpleasantly. He tries to slow down but Victor is still behind him, pushing him every time he tries to stop.

“Where are we going?”

Zachariah gives him a smile above his shoulder but he keeps walking, not answering the question. Dean keeps following, almost on auto-pilot now, and they find themselves outside. The first person he sees is Lucifer and his heart stops in his chest. He tries to get back inside but Victor pulls him by an arm and almost drags him near the big willow tree behind the house, where a wooden pole has been planted. Gabriel is here next to his brother. Turning around, Dean sees all the others standing in line a bit farther away, heads bowed. Mrs. Herbert, Jessica, Lisa, Charlie, Gilda, Victor, Bobby, Ben and even Jordan. Zachariah joins the Archangels, still wearing his creepy smile.

It’s sunny outside, and there’s a light breeze. It smells like spring, but he has no idea which day it is. Feeling the sun on his skin is good, but he’s too scared to enjoy it.

“Thank you, Victor,” Gabriel says.

Victor goes to stand next to the others, leaving Dean on his own, facing the angels.

“What is happening? Where is Castiel? I wanna talk to him,” he tries, his voice shaking.

He doesn’t dare look at Lucifer. He chooses to turn to Gabriel instead, but the angel is giving him the most murderous glare that’s even been directed his way.

Lucifer scoffs. “You don’t have to pretend anymore, little thief, we found him. We know what you did.”

What the fuck is he talking about?

“What?”

“Don’t act so surprised,” Lucifer goes on, a fake expression of pain on his face, “we found Castiel’s body. It’s over.”

Dean blinks at him, fear almost forgotten.

“What do you mean, ‘his body’?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Gabriel burst, “you know he’s dead.”

Freezing, Dean opens his mouth to protest before what Gabriel just said hits him and he closes his mouth again. Gabriel’s face seems twisted by rage, and Dean finds himself just staring dumbly at him, the small remnants of hope he still had left in him now gone.

“What?” He repeats, his voice having trouble getting out.

Zachariah clicks his tongue in annoyance as he turns to Lucifer.

“Sir, do we really have time for this?”

Lucifer takes a step toward Dean, eyebrows raised. Dean tries to step back, fear coming back, making his whole body shake. He trips on a little pebble and he tries to wrestle with the cuffs holding his arms behind his back, barely managing to stay upright, but it’s no use.

“You can’t run,” Lucifer says. He looks _happy_. Dean feels nauseous. “I believe Gabriel promised you an appropriate punishment for your escape. And for everything you did. To Ana. To your own Masters… you need to pay for all of this, do you understand?”

Dean tries to catch Gabriel’s attention, his eyes wide with terror, to plead with a look, _please, don’t let him do this. Please, help me!_ But Gabriel just stands there, waiting next to Zachariah, behind the wooden pole.

“Zachariah, here, is my Master of Discipline,” Lucifer goes on, still walking slowly toward Dean. Dean tries to step back but Lucifer raises his hand and suddenly he can’t move anymore. “He’s the one who’s going to administer the punishment. He’s very good at his job. You’ll soon discover that.”

He smirks and turns to Zachariah. The angel is holding a long whip with several tails, and Dean understands what’s going to happen. He tries to fight Lucifer’s Grace but he can’t. He can’t escape, he can’t magic his way out of this. There’s no solution. It’s going to happen and there’s nothing he can do about it. His throat closes off as he tries to take a breath and panic blooms inside his chest.

“You can’t do this,” he blurts out. He finds Gabriel’s eyes again. “Gabriel, you can’t do this, it’s not how you do things, I know, you can’t—“

Lucifer grabs him by the throat, cutting his air. He brings Dean’s face so close to his own that Dean can’t see anything else, he has no choice but to look at the angel.

“Hush, now. Gabriel doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. You’re going to get your punishment, and you’ll come with me.”

Dean’s brain tries to catch up with the enormity of the situation but he’s like frozen, paralyzed in his own body, and he can’t think about anything but fear. Lucifer let’s go of him and he falls on his knees. The pressure of the shackles on his wrist disappears, and he sways forward, his hands finding the ground in front of him. He takes a breath, feeling his throat burn as air makes its way to his lungs again.

The wheels in his brain start turning again, and he understands what Lucifer means. Gabriel probably sold him to his brother. He’s not going to stay here anymore. Lucifer will have him, free to do whatever he likes to him. Panic threatens to overwhelm him again. Trying to push it away, he just breathes, looking at the dirt beneath him. He takes the time to feel it, to let the cold coming from the ground sip into his skin.

Dean can’t let Lucifer think he won. He can’t let him know he’s scared. He has to fight, he has to show the Archangel getting Dean as his own was the worst thing that ever happened to him. _Come on, Winchester, get your shit together_.

Dean steels himself, and he stands, staring into Lucifer’s eyes.

Lucifer smirks. “Are you ready to get your punishment?”

Clenching his fists, Dean raises his chin up. “Go fuck yourself,” he says, loud and clear.

His whole body is shaking, but he tries to ignore it. Lucifer’s smile grows amused. There’s not a single sound around, except for the wind and the early birds.

“Breaking you is going to be so much fun,” Lucifer finally let’s out.

Dean is pushed forward by an invisible force suddenly, and he collapses into the wooden pole. He holds the pained growl that wants to come out of his throat. He doesn’t want to give Lucifer the satisfaction. He’s forced to his knees and he doesn’t even have time to think that his arms raise on their own on each side of the pole and a thick rope is already biding his hands together.

He hears Lucifer walk toward him and he sees him reappear in his line of vision. Straightening up, Dean pushes himself up to his feet and he turns his gaze to the other angel, Zachariah. He can see the whip from up close now. The thing looks gigantic to him, and he feels a shiver run along his body the first time he sees the black leather on the handle. He counts the tails. Nine. Nine thick, braided, pure white tails, that each end with a little knot. He doesn’t want to imagine how it will feel on his skin. He’ll find out soon enough. His heart starts beating fast again, cold terror resurfacing, and so he turns to Gabriel to distract himself.

“I didn’t know you were into that kind of things,” he says, raising an eyebrow in fake nonchalance. “You didn’t have to go through all that trouble, though, you could’ve just asked.”

Gabriel grits his teeth, but doesn’t answer.

“Maybe we could add the little extra I talked to you about?” Zachariah comes in, turning to Lucifer.

Lucifer looks at him with a smile and he gives Gabriel a questioning look.

“What do you think? He’s mouthy. He deserves a special treatment, don’t you agree?”

“Do what you have to,” Gabriel answers, barely opening his mouth.

Dean has to use all his willpower not to show how scared he is. But he keeps pretending everything’s fine, he forces a cocky smile on his face and he tries to keep his voice from shaking.

“Awesome!” He deadpans.  

Lucifer’s smile gets wider and he snaps his fingers. Dean doesn’t know what he did at first, until there’s a gust of wind and he feels goose bumps rising on his skin. When he looks down he sees that he’s only wearing his underwear.

“Is that it?”

It’s the only thing he can get out because he’s so terrified he can’t feel his heart anymore and his stomach hurts so much he’s barely holding up. He tries to keep staring at Lucifer but his vision is blurry. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the fear, or the cold, or the stress. Maybe all of them combined.

There’s another snap of fingers, and he’s naked. Maybe he should have shut his mouth this time.

“Do you like this better?” Lucifer asks, almost pleasantly.

Dean tries really hard not to blush. He’s very much aware that the other slaves are behind him, even if a bit far away, and he can almost feel their eyes on his body. Jordan is here, too. That’s the most embarrassing thing of all. Jordan is seeing him like this and he can’t do anything about it. Holding on to the pole, he tries to hide the front of his body against it as best as he can.

He can’t look at Lucifer anymore. He turns his gaze to Gabriel again. At least he knows how Dean looks naked. It’s less mortifying if Dean pretends he’s the only one here.

“I was thinking I needed a tan. Thanks.”

Zachariah sighs, looking annoyed and maybe slightly impatient, and he raises his hand at Dean. There’s a violent rush of wind and Dean feels like a waterfall just appeared above him. He closes his eyes, freezing under the unexpected amount of water that has just been dumped on him. It stops almost as soon as it started. For a few seconds he just stands there, eyes closed, coughing water until he can breathe again. He wipes his eyes on his shoulder as best as he can, his hands being tied on the other side of the pole, and he opens them again, blinking until he can see his surroundings again.

“Not what I meant when I asked for a shower,” he manages.

He’s shaking so hard now, because of the cold wind blowing on his wet, naked skin, and because of the fear, that even speaking is difficult. But if he keeps talking, if he keeps treating this whole situation as a joke, then maybe it’ll be easier. Maybe it won’t hurt as much if he laughs about it. After all, that’s what he usually does in any other situation. Maybe this’ll work, too.

Smiling, Zachariah walks away from the Archangels and comes to stand behind Dean.

“The interesting thing about water,” he says as he slowly takes his place, “is that it actually makes the skin more receptive to any kind of stimulation. That includes pain, obviously.”

Dean hears the sound of the whip hitting flesh, probably Zachariah’s hand, and he flinches against his will. Lucifer smirks at that. Dean straightens up.

“You must be a real charm at parties,” he tells Zachariah, twisting his head to be able to look at the angel behind him.

Zachariah scoffs. In the corner of his eye, Dean sees the angel is slowly fondling the whip. He turns his head toward the pole again and tries to forget that he’s naked. Gabriel is still staring at him with the same stern look, and the more Dean stares back, the angrier he feels.

“What are you waiting for?” He taunts. “Let’s get this party started!”

He tries to smile but he’s so cold his teeth are chattering and he barely has control over his muscles anymore.

“Two hundred, to begin with, Zachariah,” Lucifer says.

Dean thinks he knows what that means, and his eyes open wide in surprise and renewed fear. Two hundred… lashes? Are they crazy? Giving Gabriel a pleasant smile, Lucifer gestures toward Zachariah.

“I’ll let you count the blows, Brother.”

Gabriel doesn’t nod, doesn’t move. He keeps staring at Dean with that unnerving, murderous glare. Dean can’t take his eyes off him. He can’t believe Gabriel agrees to all of this. He’s not going to do it. He’s going to tell Lucifer to stop everything. He can’t let it happen.

Dean’s hopes get up suddenly when Gabriel takes a breath.

“One,” the angel says.

He barely hears the whip crack. The pain is so unexpected, so sharp, that Dean can’t help but cry out, half in surprise, half in agony. It seems to resonate in his whole body, taking his breath away for a second. Bracing himself against the pole, he closes his eyes and tries to breathe again.

His back feels like it’s throbbing with pain, but so far it’s bearable. Blinking, he straightens up, and gives Gabriel the best cocky smile he can muster.

“Would it kill you to give a guy a little warning?”

“Two,” Gabriel answers.

This time Dean’s ready, he grits his teeth and closes his eyes when he hears the sound the whip makes as Zachariah lifts it in the air. The second blow is so much worse. Dean feels every single tail land on his skin, each one hitting a different spot, sending waves of pain in his whole body. But he holds any sound that wants to come out of his throat.

When the pain recedes, he huffs, realizing he’s been holding his breath. He opens his eyes again. His lower back and the back of his left thigh feel like they’re burning, but there’s a gust of wind again and it helps soothe his skin.

Two out of two-hundred. A hundred and ninety-eight to go.

He’s scared of what it’s going to feel like by the end of it. He doesn’t think he’ll hold on for that long anyway. He wants to say something else, to keep the façade up, at least for himself, but Gabriel beats him to it.

“Three.”

This one hurts even more. It sets his nerves on fire. He’s starting to get really cold while his whole back is burning. His body doesn’t know how to react. He feels his muscle spasm under the cold, and he keeps breathing evenly until it gets a bit better. Gabriel is giving him the time to recover between each blow at least. Maybe he can get to the end of it without too much damage, then.

“Four.”

A shiver run up his whole body as the four blow lands. He doesn’t feel the tails anymore. It seems like the whip is made of one, giant, spiky tail, tearing giant patches of skin every time it touches Dean’s back. He huffs again, expelling the muffled cry stuck in his throat. He doesn’t want to make any sound. He doesn’t want to let them know how much it hurts.

He looks up again and raises an eyebrow at Gabriel. The angel looks pissed now. Dean is strangely satisfied by that. He opens his mouth again, but Gabriel is faster, once again.

“Five.” Whack! “Six.” Whack! “Seven.” Whack. “Eight, nine.” Whack! Whack!

Dean holds everything in. He clutches the pole, his forehead resting against it, and he closes his eyes. The only thing he can do is wait for it to be over. It takes him a few seconds to realize Gabriel isn’t counting anymore. Opening his eyes, he blinks, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. He curses himself for that. Now they’ll know how much it hurt.

He keeps his head bowed, waiting for the burning pain to fade a little. But it doesn’t. It keeps spreading, and spreading, and it doesn’t stop. His body is shaking lightly, and he can’t control it anymore. Feeling a bit lost, he tries to lift his head but he can’t. The world is spinning slowly around him. He starts laughing. He doesn’t know why. But he laughs and laughs and laughs until he’s out of breath. He’s probably going crazy.

Another blow lands all the way from his left shoulder to his right thigh. It stops him short, and he barely holds a scream. Now that he’s stopped laughing he’s scared again. And it expands, making his chest feel three size smaller. It gets difficult to breath. The world spins faster and faster as he tries to catch his breath. He didn’t hear Gabriel count the tenth blow. His ears are ringing. For a second, he doesn’t know where he is, he doesn’t know what’s happening anymore.

As he takes a big breath, reality hits him in the face again.

“Looks like our little Thief has lost his wit,” he hears Lucifer tease.

The ringing in his ears disappears. He blinks a few times and the spinning stops. He only feels the throbbing pain now, sharp, pulsing in rhythm with the beats of his heart. He wants to tell the angel to go fuck himself again, but he can’t talk. It’s not that he lost his voice, or that he’s shaking too much. He just can’t. He doesn’t understand it.

“Eleven,” Gabriel says again.

His voice sounds so far away and so close at the same time. Dean hears the whip being lifted up again, he hears the sound it makes cutting through the air as it’s about to hit his skin. He hears it clack against his back. He knows where it landed. But he doesn’t register the pain until half a second later. It makes his vision go white for a second. It feels electric, piercing. Like someone just ran a dozen razors up his body.

A whine escapes him, but he manages to keep his mouth closed. As he looks up at Gabriel, he feels anger boiling inside of him, almost overcoming his fear. He can’t believe this is happening. He can’t believe Gabriel is doing this to him.

Suddenly he hears a sob behind him, but he doesn’t recognize the voice until he sees the tiniest hint of guilt appear on Gabriel’s face. It’s Jordan. Jordan’s crying. He hears someone trying to shush her quietly. She stops after that but hearing her voice, just for a second, warmed Dean’s heart a little. He’s still ashamed that she’s seeing him like this, that they’re all seeing him like this actually, but it helps to know that at least one person cares about him.

He tries to look back to smile at her, letting her know it’s okay. He’s fine for now. But he doesn’t have the time to do so.

“Twelve,” Lucifer says.

The whip cracks again, one of the tail catching the lower half of Dean’s face and he has to hide in the pole again. The pain is as fierce as before. It takes him a while before he can open his eyes again. When he manages to look at the archangels in front of him, he sees that Lucifer is staring pointedly at his brother. Gabriel’s gaze quickly shoots down and up again, before finally turning to Lucifer. Jordan’s reaction probably caught Gabriel off guard, Dean thinks. Maybe he’s second-guessing the punishment. Maybe he’ll stop everything.

Lucifer clears his throat. “Do I need to take over?”

Gabriel shakes his head. “No.”

“Good,” Lucifer smiles. “Zachariah, I think that’s enough for a warm-up. Let’s get serious now, shall we?”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Dean feel his heart pumping vigorously inside his chest at the words. He wishes there was something he could do. But tied up like this, naked, weakened, he can’t move, he doesn’t have any chance. And it’s terrifying. His whole body tightens up in anticipation.

There’s a moment of silence.

 “Thirteen,” Gabriel says.

This time it’s like Dean’s whole body has been split in half. He can’t help but cry out. Feeling the tears coming up, he tries to swallow them back. For a second he thinks he died. There’s no other explanation. There’s too much pain, like his skin has been stretched, torn apart. But the pain doesn’t fade away, the wind still blows on his skin, making him shiver violently. A tear rolls down his cheek again, then two, then three. He can’t stop them. He thinks he’s bleeding. Something thicker than the water they dump on him is slowly running down his back.

“Fourteen.”

He doesn’t have time to open his eyes, to breathe before it happens again. It feels like every tail of the whip has little pieces of sharp razor blades on its end.

“Fifteen.”

It hurts. It hurts so much he can’t think anymore, can’t hear anything anymore. And it doesn’t stop, Zachariah keeps going, again and again and again, faster it seems. Dean is only sure of one thing: it’s too much. He’s pretty sure he won’t have any bit of skin left on his back and the back of his thighs soon. He can almost feel his muscles being torn apart. Soon there’ll only be bones left and he can’t, he can’t hold on anymore, he wants it to stop, needs it to stop. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t, please, stop, please—

His back feels like it’s on fire, but the blows stopped. He realizes his forehead is pushing into the pole, his shaky legs barely holding him up, his hands digging into the pole so hard he can’t feel them anymore. But Zachariah stopped. There’s not a sound around, except for someone crying. It doesn’t sound like Jordan this time. It takes him a little while before he understands it’s him. He’s the one crying. He feels heat rushing to his cheeks and he forces himself to stop, taking big gulps of air to calm himself down.

His legs give out, and he falls on his knees, the pole leaving little pieces of wood stuck on the palm of his hand and the pulp of his fingers as he keep clutching at it to avoid falling too hard, but he doesn’t care. He barely feels them.

“Get up.”

It’s Lucifer’s voice, Dean knows that. He recognizes it, but his brain can’t register the order. Not right away. It takes him a little while while before he manages to open his mouth.

 “ ‘can’t,” he finally utters between gritted teeth.

 _You’re killing me_ , he wants to add. But he can’t talk much. He’s in too much pain.

“I said get up!”

 _Whack!_ Another blow hits him unexpectedly, reaching the back of his head.

“I CAN’T!!”

It comes out as half a scream, half a sob. His head feels like it’s going to explode. He’s going to throw up, or faint maybe. He’s not sure. He’s not sure of anything anymore.

“Yes you can,” Gabriel says, so low Dean barely hears him. “Do as you’re told.”

It fills Dean with anger again. It’s so familiar, but yet so far from what they’re used to, it makes Dean’s blood boil. Gabriel is probably mocking him.

Huffing, he pulls his body up, pushing on his legs, until he’s somehow standing again. He’s not sure he’s going to hold on for long. He hopes he’s going to faint soon. _Please, God, let me faint soon_.

He tries to open his eyes but as soon as he does the world starts spinning so fast he has to close them right away if he doesn’t want to throw up all over himself.

“Good,” Lucifer exclaims. “Where were we?”

“Twenty-six, Sir,” Zachariah answers.

“Let’s go on, then. Gabriel?”

Dean wants to tell them to stop, please, to not start again, but he still has a bit of pride left. Or maybe it’s stubbornness. In either case, he doesn’t want them to see him beg. Not now, not ever. He’ll just have to bear the punishment until his body finally gives up.

“Twenty-seven.”

It’s weird how after a while, the human body has that ability to feel pain without really feeling it. Dean couldn’t explain it, but it hurts, much more than before, and yet he barely feels the blow.

“Twenty-eight.”

It’s too much again, he doesn’t want them to touch him anymore. He can’t move. He knows that if he moves his skin is gonna fall apart. He can’t do anything but scream. He tries not to cry, at least. He doesn’t want them to win, he won’t let them.

“Twenty-nine.”

Maybe if he tries to turn the burning, never-ending pain into something else, he’ll make it. Gabriel likes count-downs. He tries to remember what he felt the last time Dean heard him count from ten to one. He knows it was supposed to be pleasant. Not the night before Dean left. Maybe the first time Gabriel and him…

“Thirty.”

God, no, he can’t. It hurts so much, he just can’t get away from the pain and he wants to die. Please, please, let him die, now. It’s enough, he can’t bear it anymore.

“Thirty-one.”

Maybe sometimes, when humans really need it, God hears their prayers. Because Dean finally feels like he’s floating, like he’s out of his body. He keeps his eyes firmly closed, and he keeps asking. _Please, please, let me die. Please_.

“Thirty-two.”

His arms are so heavy. He doesn’t know how he’s still standing. _Please, help me, I’m begging you_.

“Thirty-three.”

And it hits him at the same time as the tails of the whip hit his back. It’s working. He can feel unconsciousness slowly coming, his body relaxing minutely. He’s not sure he’s breathing anymore. His whole body still hurts like hell, but he knows, he can almost see it coming, like a great wave of white light. It’s almost over. Almost. _Please_.

“Thirty-four.”

Finally, he falls. He can’t see anything since his eyes are closed but he’s pretty sure time stopped. Or slowed down at least. That probably means he’s dying. He read somewhere that when you die, your brain has one last boost of power, making you think at the speed of light. That’s why you’re supposed to see your life flash before your eyes. He doesn’t know why he’s thinking about that now. He doesn’t see anything. He just feels the wind on his abused skin. And he’s on his knees suddenly. _Thank you_.

“Thirty-five.”

 


	13. Friendship is magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to my beta, Lisa! I know you're super busy right now, I appreciate everything you do even more.
> 
> And to everyone else, thank you for reading me! Enjoy the chapter :)  
> (And please if you're easily triggered, read the tags, they're here for you!)

 

Gabriel stops counting when he sees Dean’s body going limp, his heart briefly jumping into his chest. That’s the only thing he feels, though. Just that. A tiny jump. No satisfaction, no joy. Nothing. Just empty numbness.

“Thirty-six,” Lucifer goes on.

Gabriel can’t take his eyes off Dean. Zachariah keeps hitting his body. Surely he can see there’s no use, now.

Slowly, he opens his mouth.

“Stop.”

He really thought it would make things better. The punishment. He thought it would feel like justice. But it doesn’t. It just feels wrong. Even more so if they killed Dean in the process. He doesn’t want to believe it just yet.

Lucifer makes an annoyed sound and turns to him.

“What is it, now?”

Gabriel keeps staring at Dean, looking to see if he’s still breathing.

“Don’t you see he’s unconscious? You can stop,” he tells his brother.

He can’t find it in himself to be angry, though. There’s so much blood. How can he feel so numb?

“He could be faking, we can’t take that risk. It’s also possible that he wakes up after a few more strikes.”

“It’s enough,” Gabriel answers. “You killed him.”

Raising an eyebrow at him, Lucifer sighs.

“You didn’t really think we were going to give him two-hundred lashes, did you?” He starts laughing. “Seriously, Gabriel, you should really research how proper punishments work. Two-hundred would have killed him. I just needed him to be scared. I didn’t think he would last as long as he did.”

Gabriel grits his teeth.

“Then why are you going on, now?”

“We just need to check if he’s done,” Lucifer shrugs. “But if you want to stop now, fine. He still yours, for a few minutes at least.”

Sighing again, he nods at Zachariah, who walks closer to Dean and bends down to take his pulse.

“He’s okay,” the angel says after a while, straightening up.

Gabriel feels his chest constrict hearing Zachariah’s cold assessment. How can he be okay? The back of his body looks like it’s been flayed. He’s not okay. He’s never going to be okay. Not anymore. Not ever. Gabriel can’t stand to look at him anymore.

“Take a good look at Dean, here,” Lucifer bellows, turning to the slaves waiting in line. “See what happens to slaves who betray their Masters. Keep that image in your thick little chimpanzee brains, and remember that if any of you is even thinking about doing something remotely similar to what he did, then I’ll come for you. Am I clear?”

There’s a second of silence.

“Yes, Master,” Bobby says.

The others follow his lead, all at once. “Yes, Master.”

Gabriel cannot bear this anymore. He needs to get out of here, now. He needs to be alone.

“Thank you, Luci…” he whispers. “Please, take him away from this house.”

Leaving his brother behind, he walks to the house, looking straight ahead of him. He can’t look at Dean’s body, can’t look at Zachariah, can’t even look at his slaves as he passes them.

“Go back to work,” he just tells them.

He hears them walk behind him, following him inside. Jordan is still crying.

~*~

Pain. Everything is pain. There’s no world. No up, no down. There’s just pain and white light and the taste of blood in his mouth.

_Dean?_

He burns, constantly. He burns, even if he doesn’t have a body. He doesn’t have a name. He’s just pain. Pain. Sharp and overwhelming. He’s just floating, drowning in it.

_Come on, Buddy, you need to drink this. Just swallow, just once. Come on…_

He’s drowning. He’s drowning and panic flares inside his chest. He has a chest. He has a body. His body is on fire. It burns, and burns, and burns and he wants to scream but he can’t. He can’t do anything but hurt.

~*~

_He’s not going to make it…_

There’s a loud metallic noise. It resonates, and for a second Dean’s head explodes and all he sees is white. And it’s gone as quickly as it came.

_Like hell, he’s not. You know what happens to me if he dies!_

His skin feels like it’s three sizes too small for his body. He hurts all over, so much he can almost hear the pain making its way inside of him.

_Come on, Dean. One more time, and I’ll leave you alone. Drink!_

Something is against his mouth and he’s drowning again. He wants them to stop, whoever they are. He just wants to sleep.

_See, he can’t even drink anymore. He’s lost._

_Shut the fuck up! Get the hell away from here!_

_Fine. Have fun with the Vegetable, Bitch!_

_Asshole…_

The voices are weird. Disturbing. There’s a loud noise again, and something in his hair. Like… a hand?

There’s something in his mouth. Water. It tastes like water. His throat burns, like the rest of his body. But the water makes it better. He swallows, and it’s the most wonderful feeling. It helps with the pain, with the dizziness, everything. It’s so good, so, so good he wants to drink forever. But they take the thing away from his mouth.

 “Hey, hey, slowly there, Dean-o. You’ll hurt your stomach.”

One of the voices is closer now, he can hear it better. It’s a person. A real person. A woman. Huffing, he frowns and he tries to talk, tries to tell her to shut her mouth and give him water again, but he has no voice.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Just sleep, okay? You can call me all the names you want when you’re better. Just… don’t die on me just yet. Sleep. You’ll have more when you wake up, but only if you do what I tell you. Sleep when I tell you to and I’ll give you as much water as you want, deal?”

He wants to say yes. He wants to nod. He can’t move. The pain is too great. Why does it hurt so much? He can’t do anything. He can’t open his eyes. So, he does what she tells him. He sleeps. It’s easy, he just has to think about it, really. He just thinks about it and lets the darkness take over.

~*~

“Hey, there, Sleeping Beauty.”

Dean blinks a few times. He’s lying on his stomach, on a sort of sleeping mat. He doesn’t know where he is and he can’t see much. His eyes are full of tears. Everything is dark. There’s a shadow in front of him. A person. A woman, judging by her voice.

He tries to push himself up and suddenly pain flares up from the back of his thighs to the back of his head and a whine escapes him.

“Whoa, slow down, Cowboy. The fever just broke, don’t try and play the Manly, Courageous Man just to impress me, Buddy.”

What?

“Don’t try to talk, you haven’t drunk anything in a while. Here.”

She pushes a straw in his mouth. Startled, he blinks again.

“Drink, Dumbass.”

He does as he’s told. Fresh water tumbles down his throat, too much at first and he coughs, which sends another wave of pain through his body. She pushes the straw in his mouth again.

“Take your time.”

He drinks again, until his stomach growls in protest, and he let his head rest on the mat. He tries to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand, until he can see what the woman looks like, at least. She has a cute, rounded face, sharp eyes, and long, dark hair.

When he looks around, he sees he’s in a cell again. There’s no window, just a bunch of candles on a little table next to where the woman is sitting, crossed-legs.

He feels a chill run through his body, and he looks down. He sees that he’s naked. The lower half of his body is covered by a sheet.

“What…?” He can barely manage a whisper. When he looks up, she’s raising an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t do anything. You were already naked when they brought you here. Not like you’d appreciate clothes in the state you’re in, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

But as he tries to lift himself up to at least lean on his elbows he feels the blinding pain again. He winces and tries not to make a sound. It comes back to him, all of a sudden. Gabriel, the punishment. Lucifer.

“Shit…” he breathes.

“Right. Welcome back to reality.”

He feels dizzy under the sudden pain, and he closes his eyes for a moment. Fear makes his heart beat faster, but he tries to push it away. There’s nothing he can do about it for now.

“The fever broke but your temperature is still a bit high. I wouldn’t move too much if I were you.”

Turning on her right, she takes something out from under a white cloth that was sitting on the table.

“Here,” she says, handing him a piece of bread.

He looks at it for a little while, wondering if bread is supposed to have that sickly white color.

“What’s that?”

“Food. Dry bread. That’s all I have, so eat.”

“Rotten bread, you mean?”

She gives him a bored look. “I’m sorry, Your Highness.” She deadpans. “Do I need to fetch the cook for you and tell him your palate is too delicate for this wonderful meal he made especially for you?”

He huffs, turning his palm up. He’s too hungry to even care. He wants to eat something solid.

“I get it. Don’t be a bitch.” She raises another eyebrow at him. “Please,” he sighs.

She let the piece of bread fall into his hand.

“Thanks,” he smiles, weakly.

She seems okay. She looks like she wants to be anywhere but here, but at least she’s not plain mean. It makes him forget how much pain he’s in for a while. It comes back as he tries to break a piece of bread and bring it to his mouth. But he bears through it, and he eats the whole thing faster than he would have liked.

Licking his lips, he looks up at her again. She’s just staring at him.

“I’m Dean, by the way,” he tells her.

“I know.”

But she doesn’t say anything else.

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?”

She snorts. “I’m one of the Archangel Lucifer’s slaves. I don’t have a name. Neither do you. Get used to it. Call me ‘hey you!’ if you want. I don’t care. We won’t talk much once you’re all better, anyway. I’m just here to take care of you until you can work.”

He frowns.

“Come on.”

She doesn’t answer and gives him a bitch face.

“Come on! Like you said, I’m here for a while. That means you’re here for a while, too. And you know my name. It’s only fair that you give me yours.”

She keeps staring for a while, then let out a little breath.

“The only reason I’m staying with you is because the Master told me he would kill me if you died, and he would make the time between your death and mine so painful I’ll enjoy finally getting into Hell. So, no, I’m not going to give you my name. I’m not your pal. Now sleep before I decide to stun you.”

She sounds angry all of a sudden, and she lies down, turns her back on him and crosses her arms over her chest.

He doesn’t dare say anything after that. He’s dizzy, and he feels nauseous now, he doesn’t know if it’s because of the fever or the rotten bread, but he closes his eyes to make it go away. He falls asleep in no time.

~*~

He wakes up, drenched in sweat. There’s no light around. He has no idea what time it is. The only thing he knows is he needs to pee. Urgently.

“Hey,” he croaks.

His voice has trouble coming out. His throat hurts. His back hurts. His bladder hurts. Everything hurts.

“HEY,” he whispers as loud as he can. The woman doesn’t move. “Hey, you! Hello?”

Nothing happens.

“Bitch,” he tries out loud.

She stirs.

“Come on,” he whispers again. “I need you. Wake up!”

“Fuck off…” she mumbles, turning around. “What d’ya want?”

He can’t see her face, but he’s pretty sure she’s giving him a bitch face again.

“I need to take a leak. Like, right now!”

“Fuck you, Dean.” She turns her back on him again.

“Please!”

Letting out a long, annoyed sigh, she sits up. She lights the candles again, and stands up, walking to a side of the room. She picks up an old, rusty basin and throws it at his feet.

“There,” she snaps.

“What the fuck is that?”

His voice breaks at the end of the sentence. His throat is so dry, the only thing he wants to do is drink water until his stomach is about to burst but he doesn’t dare to because he really, really needs to take a piss.

She crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m not peeing in that thing,” he whispers, trying to spare his throat. “Take me to a real toilet.”

She snorts. “Even if I wanted to, first, we can’t get out of here. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this ain’t a five stars hotel. And second… You can’t stand. You can sit, maybe, but it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.”

He stares at her for a while, waiting to see if she’s going to drop the act, tell him she’s kidding. She doesn’t. She keeps staring back with that permanent bored look of hers.

He closes his eyes, taking a breath. He can’t believe this is all happening to him. He fucking aches all over and he just wants to pee, for fuck’s sake!

Sighing, he opens his eyes again. “Help me sit.”

“You sure? It’s gonna hurt.”

“I get it. Shut up and help me. I’m gonna piss myself if you don’t hurry.”

She raises an eyebrow, clearly annoyed, but she crouches down next to him.

“Okay, relax you muscles, and tell me if it hurts, alright? It’s gonna take a while.”

He nods as he watches her hands take position under his shoulder and his hip. He’s half expecting her to count down to three before she moves him but she doesn’t. She pushes him on his side in one swift move, and he has to close his eyes under the sharp pain. It feels like his skin is so tight it’s going to crack if he moves too much.

“Shit!”

“Told ya,” she breathes.

He wants to keep the façade up but right now everything hurts too much for him to even try to talk back. He’s starting to get angry.

“Okay, once again and you’ll be good.”

“Wait!”

He hears her sigh, and it makes something swell up in his chest.

“Come on, it’ll only hurt longer if we wait. I know what I’m talking about.”

He opens his eyes, looking up at her, suddenly feeling murderous.

“You don’t know shit!!”

Something seems to pass on her face, and for a second he thinks she’s going to cry, but she just scoffs.

“Believe me, I do. I’ve been there. More than once.”

They stare at each other for a second. Neither of them speak.

He looks down, tries to forget the pain for a second. “Sorry.”

When he looks up she’s raising an eyebrow at him, condescending.

“Yeah, you’re a real jerk. Now come on. I thought you were about to pee all over yourself.”

It takes a lot of time and maneuvering, but eventually Dean ends up sitting, the sheet pooling into his lap. It feels as if there’s a dozen needles stuck into his back. The woman is still holding him up, allowing him to ease the tension in his muscles. It doesn’t help the fierce burning sensation under his thighs, though.

He closes his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths.

“Okay, now, do your thing,” she tells him. “I wanna go back to sleep.”

He opens his eyes again, looking at her. She doesn’t move.

“I can’t do that with an audience,” he tries.

She huffs. “Believe me you need me here. You can’t hold yourself up on your own. So just go ahead.” She turns her head, looking at the wall behind him. “I won’t look.”

“I’m not peeing while you’re sitting next to me.”

“You don’t have a choice!”

“Like Hell I don’t!”

Letting out a long sigh, she turns her head back to him.

“Fine. You want to hurt yourself even more? Suit yourself.” She moves a little, sliding on her knees until she’s facing him. She keeps her arms on his shoulder the whole time. “I’m going to let go of you now. You ready?”

He nods furiously.

Several things happen at once. She lets go, her hands hovering over his shoulder. He tries to scowl at her, but his upper body tips over and he tries to straighten up. The pain is unbelievable. He’s pretty sure he felt his skin pop and crack. He lets out a yelp and double over. She catches him before he falls.

“Breathe, you fucking moron.”

“Fucking shit,” he half sobs.

He can’t believe he’s crying again. He tries to stop it, but the tears are falling now and he can’t hold them back. It hurts too much, he just wants it to end. He’s barely aware that she’s almost hugging him now. He let his forehead rest on her shoulder, his arms held up tight against his chest.

“I know. Just breathe, okay? It’ll get better in a minute.”

It’ doesn’t. It feels like it doesn’t. It feels like the pain will never go away. Trying to breathe like she said, he turns his head on the side to catch some air, but as soon as his cheek touches her shoulder the pain spreads to the side of his face.

“Fuck!”

“Yeah, sorry, should’ve warned you about that. That’s one nasty bruise you’ve got on your face.”

He keeps his eyes closed, his head against her collarbone, for what seems like hours. He hears her huff after a while.

“Damn, you pulled some stiches. Good job, Dumbass!”

He doesn’t answer her. He’s still waiting for the pain to pass, to come back to a dull ache like it felt when he was lying on his stomach but it doesn’t. And now he’s really going to piss himself.

“Dean?”

“Shut up…” he mumbles.

She pats the back of his head, awkwardly. Dean is too deep in agony to even notice that they’re hugging and that his face is right next to her breast. But after a little while she starts shifting restlessly, and he starts to understand she’s getting uncomfortable.

“Help me up,” he grumbles into the top of her chest.

She pushes him, keeping her hands on his shoulder. Looking at him, she searches his face for a while. Then she raises an eyebrow at him.

“Are you gonna do what I tell you, now?”

He scoffs. “Shut your mouth and give me the damn basin, will you?”

She does as she scouts over to stand on her knees, at his side again, her gaze firmly fixed on the wall behind him. He wipes the tears from his eyes and pulls the basin toward him.

At first he doesn’t know how to proceed. But he quickly gets it. He pushes the sheet off his body and pulls the basin closer between his thighs. He hopes it’s gonna be quick.

As Dean empties his bladder, he tries to think of another situation he found himself in that could have been as humiliating as this. He doesn’t find one. When he’s done, he covers himself, pushes the basin away and lowers his head to hide the furious blush spreading all over his face and the back of his neck. Thankfully, she doesn’t say anything. She helps him lie down on his stomach again, and when she’s done she takes the basin to a far corner of the room and empties it in a little hole there. Dean hadn’t notice it before. He guesses that’s the only toilet they’ll get in here. There’s a little faucet above the hole. She turns it on, lets the water flow into the basin and onto the floor until it’s clean enough. She puts it on the ground again and comes to sit on her makeshift bed, directly facing him.

“There. Wasn’t that hard.”

Dean feels heat coming to his face again.

“Thanks,” he just says.

He’s exhausted. He hurts and it’s preventing him from falling asleep. He’s tired of hurting, tired of the hunger, tired of being tired. He closes his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep.

“We’re not done, yet,” the woman says.

He opens his eyes again, giving her a curious look.

“I need to fix the stiches you pulled,” she adds.

“Great.”

She pulls a bag from behind her and opens it, laying some disinfectant, a roll of thread, a needle and a bunch of compresses on the table.

“Hold still,” she orders as she takes a look at his back. “Shouldn’t take long. You just pulled three… no, four. It’s gonna hurt, though.”

He nods.

She gets to work. She was right, it hurts like Hell. But he keeps his mouth shut. As she cleans his wounds again and starts on the stiches, he takes the time to study her. Just to have something to do, to keep the pain from becoming too overwhelming.

For the first time he notices how tired she looks. She has deep shadows under her eyes, her hair is going in all directions, and her whole face looks dirty, like she hasn’t been able to clean herself for days. Her eyes look red, too. She probably hasn’t slept in a while. He doesn’t know if the way she speaks, letting the syllables hang at the end of her sentences, is because of the exhaustion or if it’s just the way she talks. He feels bad, all of a sudden.

“There, done,” she exclaims after a while.

“Thanks,” he says again.

Really, he doesn’t know what else to say. He’s grateful that she’s here, taking care of him.

“How d’you feel?”

He huffs. “Like shit.”

She sits back on her heels and puts the needle down on the table, on a pile of compresses soaked with blood.

“Care to expand? That was a real, medical question.”

He blinks, fighting the dizziness he’s been feeling ever since she put him on his stomach again.

“It burn. It hurts. I don’t know. It feels like you poured the entire bottle of disinfectant all over me.”

She stands up, walks to the basin and fills it with water. When she comes back she kneels in front of him again. He opens his eyes wide when he sees her dip another compress in the water.

“Hey, I peed in that.”

“And I rinsed it, don’t worry. It’s clean water.”

“You’re not putting that on my back!”

“What did we say about doing what I tell you without asking questions?”

He tries to glare at her for a second, but he quickly looks away.

“Fine.”

She smiles, self-satisfied.

She starts gently patting Dean’s back with the compress. It’s amazing. It soothes the burn and Dean feels like he’s relaxing already. He closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling. They spend a few minutes in companionable silence as she keeps going, starting from the top of his shoulder and making her way down slowly.

It occurs to him that he likes talking to her. He tries to think of something to say.

“How many stiches do I have?”

She snorts. “Do you think I counted? I don’t know… not much. I only closed the deepest wounds you had. You don’t usually close whip wounds, you know? But if I didn’t take care of those you would have bled out, probably. I didn’t want to take any chances.”

That’s good, he thinks.

“You’re gonna have some ugly scars, though. I can’t do anything about that.”

He hums, letting her know he heard her, but he doesn’t really know what to say to that. He didn’t think about it before, to be honest. He’s not sure how he feels about it.  

“Why are you the one taking care of me?”

He doesn’t know why he asks that.

“Why? Tired of me already?”

“No. It’s just… I’m locked up here. That means you’re locked up here, too. I was just wondering…”

“I’m the only one here who has some medical knowledge,” she cuts him off.

He opens his eyes again, twisting his neck to look at her.

“Really? How come?”

She sighs, like he’s annoying.

“The Master bought me because of it. There was a girl who took care of that before. But she died. Like, two months ago. So he bought me.”

“I mean, how come you know about medicine?”

She throws the compress on the table and takes a new one, dipping it in the water again, and comes back to his wounds.

“My first Master taught me.”

“Why?”

“What are you, the Slave Police? You don’t want to know anything about me, trust me.”

Noticing that she’s side-eyeing him, he smiles.

“Come on, humor me. It’ll pass the time. Tell me about yourself. You know things about me, I don’t know anything about you.”

She doesn’t answer and keeps patting his back with the wet compress for a while, before she opens her mouth again.

“When I was little I was free,” she starts.

Dean raises his eyebrows, surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah. But my mom wasn’t really interested in me. Or in my father. She left the first chance she got. And my dad, well… He was a drunk asshole. He couldn’t afford the life he was living without my mom’s income, he had tons of debts. So he sold me.”

She shuts her mouth suddenly. She seems lost in her memories for a while, until she shakes her head and takes on her default bored expression.

“Anyway, the guy who bought me was an angel. I was like, seven or eight. He liked human stuff. He was fascinated by them. He had entire rooms filled with books and shit he accumulated over the years. So he taught me some things. He liked medicine because he said it was interesting to see how humans managed to keep on surviving without the powers of angels.”

“That’s cool,” Dean comes in.

He feels like he needs to comment because he doesn’t want her to think he’s not interested. She looks like she doesn’t talk about that too often. Probably nobody even cared to ask before.

“Yeah. I mean, it was cool until I realized he really, really liked human stuff. Like…” she hesitates, “girls. Sex.”

He sees her eyes quickly turn his way and back on what she’s doing. Maybe trying to see if he’s judging her.

“Sorry,” he says.

She shrugs. “It’s okay. He wasn’t mean. And I got used to it pretty fast, he started when I was really young. But he was always nice with me, always asking if I was okay, making sure he wasn’t hurting me… You know?”

He nods. He’s not sure she saw him.

“I mean, I guess you _would_ know,” she adds.

He blinks at her until he understands what she means.

“Oh,” he breathes. “Yeah. Yeah, but it wasn’t the same.”

“Sure it was,” she smirks.

“Well, first, he didn’t forced me into anything. He asked me if I wanted to… do anything. Before. Before it started.”

She laughs unhappily, taking another fresh compress and throwing the one she just used on the table again.

“Right. Guy’s an archangel, don’t you think that when he wants something he gets it? As if you had anything to do with what happened.” She laughs again. “You’re funny sometimes, Dean.”

A little vexed, Dean feels his cheeks get hot.

“Last time I checked you needed at least two people to have sex. Of course I had something to do with what happened. And if I’d have said no, he would’ve left me alone.”

She stops what she’s doing, raising an incredulous eyebrow at him.

“You really believe that?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, my poor boy,” she laughs again.

“What?”

She starts tending to his wounds again.

“Think about it, Dean. Really. Try to see things from an outsider’s point of view. Can you sincerely say he didn’t manipulate you into saying yes? Because angels are really good at that, you know. That’s how they still manage to find vessels all over the world, even after years of enslavement.”

Dean tries to think about it. But he really thinks that Gabriel isn’t that kind of guy, even after everything he did to Dean. Even if Dean hates him, now. Or at least he tries to.

“He didn’t,” Dean mutters.

“Okay, then just tell me how your first time went.”

“What? No!”

“Come on, humor me. It’ll pass the time,” she mocks, trying to imitate his voice.

He huffs, hiding his face in his arm. She told him about some very personal stuff. The least he can do is tell her a little bit about himself.

“Fine,” he grunts.

“Good. Go ahead, don’t mind me touching your butt.”

“What?” He feels the sheet lift off his hips as she pushes it down to his calves. “What are you--?”

“Relax. You have a very nice ass but this is strictly professional,” she goes on as she delicately presses the compress on his skin.

And it feels good. It’s just really awkward. He didn’t realize the burning sensation extended to there, of all places, until she did something about it.

“Okay…” he whispers.

“Story time, Dean-o.”

“Gimme a minute!”

He hears her snicker behind him. Taking a breath to give himself some courage, he turns his head to be able to look at her.

“Lucifer was there, he beat the shit out of me. When they were done, Gabriel told me to go wait for him in his study. He came to find me a bit later, he healed me and… I don’t know how it happened. We were… he was drunk and we…” he clears his throat, “we were standing really close to each other, and he asked if he could, uh… touch me.” 

Okay, phrased like that, it sounds weird. He wants to explain himself further but she doesn’t give him time.

“And you said yes? Just like that?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you ever sleep with another guy before that?”

He feels her hand sliding dangerously low and his butt muscles clench involuntarily.

“No,” he chirps.

“Relax,” she smiles. “So, why him, then? I mean, you just didn’t take one in the ass because he asked nicely.”

He blushes again.

“I don’t know!”

“He never did anything that made you think about it for a while before that?”

What is her problem? It’s starting to piss Dean off.

“No!! He didn’t…” he trails off, remembering his first month at the mansion.

Gabriel did make suggestions. Had him take off his shirt, touching him… There were all the times the other slaves suggested it, meaning they knew why he’d been bought in the first place. And Gabriel even offered him work on the Impala, maybe as bait?

Dean looks up at the woman.

“He did work on you a little bit before that, didn’t he?”

She’s not really asking. He nods.

She puts the last compress on the table and takes a towel out of her bag, then proceeds to delicately dry his back.

“See, we’re not so different. For a long time I thought I wanted my Master as much as he wanted me. And then I grew up and I stopped being naïve. At least I got some experience out of it.”

 He looks away, his eyes finding the flickering flames of the candles. He lets her finish without saying another word.

“There,” she breathes, pulling the sheet up again, just over his hips.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

He’s half asleep already.

“Stop saying that, I feel like a real nurse.”

He snorts, trying to give her a smile. But his eyes are closing on their own.

“Okay, bed time, Big Boy. Don’t wake me up again unless you’re about to die, okay?”

“’Kay. G’night.”

“Shut up.”

He finally lets his exhaustion take over. He tries to smile one last time for her benefit. He doesn’t know if she saw it. He falls asleep right away.

~*~

Waking up is hard. He feels like he’s on a rollercoaster. Everything is spinning. He’s burning hot and freezing cold at the same time. He has trouble remembering where he is, why he’s here. His eyes won’t open. His throat is so dry it feels like someone’s choking him. Every time he breathes, it seems like the air is made of liquid fire.

He tries to fight the panic swelling up in his chest and he forces his eyes open. Everything is dark, he can’t see anything. He tries to call the woman but his voice just won’t come out.

Extending his arm as much as he can, he feels around for the woman.  His hand reaches out into the dark until it lands on her back .He shakes her. He feels so weak he fears he’s going to pass out before she wakes up.

“What?!”

Finally. He shakes her again.

“Seriously, Dean, one day I’m gonna—“

She stops dead in the middle of her sentence when her hand comes in contact with his. She sits up, alarmed, and lights the candles urgently. Dean can’t keep his eyes open when the lights are on. It hurts his brain. Her hand on his forehead feels like it’s divinely cold. It soothes his headache for a few seconds.

“Shit, Dean… you’re burning up!”

He hears her run to the other side of the room. Then water running, falling into the tin basin and she comes back to him. She puts a wet, cold piece of cloth on his forehead and his eyes. He sighs. It’s pure bliss.

“I don’t get it, it was gone…You were fine two hours ago…”

He tries to speak. Has it only been two hours since he fell asleep?

“I mean I should’ve known something was wrong when I realized you slept all day but really…”

She lets her hand rest on his cheek, pushing a straw in his mouth.

“Here, drink. You’ll feel better.”

He does, but it’s like swallowing a mouthful of little swords. He starts coughing and spills water on the floor.

“Slowly…”

He tries again but it’s no use. He can’t drink. He feels his throat starting to close up and he lets panic take over.

“Okay, breathe, Dean. Gimme a second…”

He hears her move, but he doesn’t know what she’s doing. There’s the sound of water.

“Come on, come on, come on…” She mutters to herself.

A few minutes pass. Or maybe hours. He doesn’t know. He can’t think anymore. And then there’s something soft and wet being pushed against his lips. He opens his mouth to protest but she forces the thing inside it.

“It’s just bread, Dean, come on. I soaked it in water. You need to eat and drink, so don’t be a baby and do what I tell you, okay?”

He tries to grunt and swallows the piece of bread reluctantly. This time he doesn’t choke on it. It tastes disgusting, but it soothes his throat for a few seconds.  She keeps feeding him like this for a while. She gives him encouragements from time to time, but soon he feels so nauseous he can’t put anything into his mouth anymore.

He tries to tell her to give him a minute. She seems to understand. He just breathes in and out slowly until the nausea goes away.

~*~

He blinks. She’s still here, her hand on his forehead. It burns. He tries to push her hand away but he can’t move. He probably fell asleep. Or fainted. That’s just great, really. He feels like he’s dying.

“Welcome back,” she whispers. “D’you wanna eat some more?”

He just let out a long sigh instead of answering. His stomach is growling. He’s gonna throw up, he can feel it. He just wants to sleep. He can’t take it anymore. Everything hurts. Everything burns. He feels tears coming to his eyes again.

“No,” he breathes.

“Okay, but you need to drink.”

He just grunts as an answer because he can’t do anything else.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

Pushing the straw in his mouth again, she takes her hand away from his face. He tries to swallow as much water as he can. He knows it’s supposed to help, but frankly he doesn’t think it’s working. It’s probably too late for him, now.

“ ‘m gonna die,” he mumbles.

“Don’t you dare. You know what happens to me if you die,” she answers, casually.

Turning around, she picks up a piece of wet cloth and brings it to his forehead. He sighs in relief when the cloth touches his skin.

“I’ll wait for you in Hell, then,” he manages. “You won’t have to look for me. ‘don’t even know your name, anyway…”

She looks back at him like he’s a five year old who just asked how people make babies.

“I’ll only give you my name when you get better, then. Deal?” She says after a few seconds of silence.

He scoffs. He’ll never know her name, then. Well, nevermind. He nods, anyway. Just to make that worried crease on her brow disappear.

“Good,” she whispers.

He’s so tired. But he doesn’t want to fall asleep. He’s scared he’s never going to wake up again. He looks at the woman sitting near him, not quite across.  Her eyes are locked on his back.  She frowns as she keeps staring. He isn’t sure what to make of that

“Talk to me,” he tells her as she bends over him to check his wounds.

“What?”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep. Talk to me.”

She keeps her eyes on his back, but he can see she’s still frowning.

“What do you want me to say? You’ll get nothing interesting out of me.”

He takes a hurt breath when she pokes at one of his wounds, but he doesn’t complain. He waits until the pain recedes to open his mouth again.

“Why aren’t you with your first Master anymore?”

She stops, cut short by the question. She only blinks at him for a while as she sits back on her heels. Then her face starts moving again, turning into a scowl as she raises an eyebrow at him. She smiles, but it’s clearly fake.

“I don’t want to bother you with my tragic backstory.”

“I already told you, it doesn’t bother me,” he counters.

His eyes are closing on their own and he’s starting to get really anxious. He really doesn’t want to fall asleep. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stares at him, seemingly thinking about it. Finally she sighs.

“Fine!”

She fidgets a bit, visibly embarrassed, but she quickly gets herself together again, and soon the bored look is back on her face.

“There’s not much to say,” she finally starts after a while, “it was quick and I didn’t really expect it but it happened. He gave me away and I found another Master.”

A blush creeps up her face and she suddenly seems fascinated by Dean’s back. He can’t help but press on.

“I thought he cared about you.”

“Yeah, when I was little. But then I turned sixteen, and I had breasts, and pubes, and that’s not really what he was into, so…” she clears her throat, “so he gave me to a demon in exchange for some rare book or something, I don’t know the details. And that was it.” She scoffs, looking up at the wall behind Dean. “I guess he really wanted that book. Hope it was worth it.”

Dean just looks at her for a little while, searching for something to say.

“I…”

No, he can’t say he’s sorry. It won’t help. He can keep her talking, maybe. She probably never talks about herself. And Sam is always ranting about how Dean never opens up to people, and it’s eating him from the inside out and making him bitter and angry. So, it probably applies to her as well. He’s thinking if he keeps her talking about it then it won’t feel as awkward and it’ll ease the pain for her. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t want to see her sad. He barely knows her, after all. But she seems compassionate, and fair. A bit bitchy, yes. But he likes that about her, too.

“And then you got sold to Lucifer?”

“Nuh-uh, that’s not how it works, Dean-o. Your turn.”

Dean can’t help but smile at that. He should have seen it coming.

“Okay, what do you want to know?”

She seems to light up all of a sudden and a wicked smile appears on her face.

“Is it true, what they say about Gabriel?”

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Dean tries not to blush too hard.

“What do they say?”

He’s pretty sure he knows what people say. He hopes it’s not it, though. He’s a bit dizzy, now, but listening to the woman’s story helped, oddly. He’s not sure that kind of talk will help him feel better.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Sunshine, you know what I’m talking about. The SM stuff? Is it exaggerated or…” she trails off, the smile on her face growing bigger.

Dean sighs.

“I don’t know, I’ve never heard the rumors. What d’you want me to tell you?”

“What did he do to you? What does he like? Did you have to wear latex suits or something, I don’t know! Give me some details!”

He barks a laugh but he’s stopped by the pain in his back.

“It’s not…” he tries, forcing down the heat he can feel coming to his cheeks, “it’s not like that. He’s… When people hear about BDSM they all think we chain each other to some dungeon wall, and we dress in leather and like… whip each other for kicks but that’s not… I mean some people do that, and it’s completely okay, but…” Crap, he doesn’t know how to explain this. “But, it’s not what Gabriel and I did. There’re plenty of things you can do, you know. It’s not as crazy as people think it is.”

He’s kinda rambling but he really wants her to understand. He doesn’t want her to think he’s a freak or something. And he also feels the need to defend Gabriel. It’s not the first time people told him about those ‘rumors’.

She’s still smiling, indulgent. “Okay, it’s not creepy, I get it. So what does he like?”

“I… I guess I was still trying to figure it out but…” Now he’s pretty sure his whole upper body is bright red. “Mostly bondage. And Toys.”

He looks away at a random spot behind her shoulder.

“That’s it?”

When he looks at her again, she seems disappointed.

“Just so you know, the rumors were way wilder.”

Laughing, he briefly hides his face into his arms.

“Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint. Next time I’ll ask him for a leather suit and I’ll send you pictures.”

She laughs too and pats his shoulder gently.

“That’s the spirit!”

There’s a moment of silence and exhaustion suddenly takes over his whole body. He can feel the fever running through his blood, and his eyelids are dropping on their own.

“You should rest,” she says.

Trying to wake himself up, he blinks a few time. “I’m okay.”

“Sleep, Dean.”

“No.”

“Why are you being all difficult today?”

He keeps his mouth firmly shut at first. He’s a bit embarrassed, and he doesn’t want to tell her why he wants to stay awake.

“Dean.”

“I’m scared I won’t wake up, okay?”

He tries to look anywhere but at her. He hears her snort.

“Seriously?”

And now he’s blushing again.

“Come on, I guarantee you’ll wake up. I’m a professional, I know what I’m saying.”

He doesn’t answer. She waits, patiently, still kneeling next to him. When he dares looking up again, she’s raising an eyebrow at him, like he’s being unreasonable.

“You trust me, right?”

He hesitates for a second.

“I guess, yeah…”

“Then go to sleep, Dumbass.” The wicked smile comes back on her face and she takes a little girl’s voice. “And if you’re nice I’ll tell you a story when you’ll wake up.”

“Shut up…” he mumbles, resting his forehead on his folded arms in front of him.

His neck hurts like hell from staying in that position for so long. He can’t wait for the day he’ll be able to sleep on his back again. Or just sit up, for that matter. He keeps thinking about it for a while. He hears her move around. He has no idea what she’s doing, but the quiet sound of her bare feet moving around lulls him to sleep.

~*~

“Wanna try sitting up again?”

Dean stares at the woman sitting on her mat, in front of him, and he makes sure to let her know what he thinks about that in a single expression. She raises an eyebrow.

“We’ve been here for a while, now. The fever’s gone, it hasn’t come back so far, and your wounds are better. I’m pretty sure you can sit. Don’t give me that face.”

It’s true that he can at least lie down on his side, now, with his head propped on his hand. So maybe she’s right. Doesn’t mean he’s willing to risk pulling the stiches again. She should know. He never tried to sit up again after the first time, even when he needed to take a piss. Usually he asks her to push him on his side and he uses the basin while she stands as far from him as she can.

He doesn’t know for how long they’ve been in here. First, because he was half unconscious the first days, and she couldn’t tell how many days it was. And second, there’s no window in the cell, and he can’t be sure how many days have passed. Not even the little pieces of bread they bring them can give them a clue, because from what she told him it isn’t regular. He’s hungry all the time, and he feels weak. He knows it’s because he’s not fed properly. He wonders how she can look so tired and so lively all at once. She’s probably used to it. He’s not, and it sucks.

And there’s another thing. The better he gets, the sooner he’ll have to face Lucifer. He’s so not ready for that.

“I’m tired. Maybe another time.”

She rolls her eyes. “Come on. You know you’re going to have to face the Master someday. Whether you feel good enough or not, one day he’ll decide you’ve spent enough time slacking down here and he’ll have you fetched.” He purposely avoids her eyes when she bends down to look at him. “Spending your days lying down instead of actually trying to get better won’t help you.”

“I said I’m tired.”

“Don’t be a baby.”

He finally looks at her. “I’ve been tortured, I think I’m allowed some rest!”

“Boo-hoo,” she mocks. “I forgot you were the first ever slave to get whipped for disobeying. I’m so sorry, Dean. I’ll never laugh at your pain again! I have absolutely no idea what you’re going through, that’s right. I’ve only been a slave for the last twenty years, after all! How would I know anything about it?”

He can’t help but look down in shame, but he doesn’t apologize. He’s tired of hurting, she should get that. She should be more compassionate. Her constant snarky attitude is starting to piss him off. And now his stomach hurts, of all things. He wonders how many more days he’s going to hold on for.

“And if you think that’s torture then you ain’t seen nothin’…” she adds, so quietly he barely hears her.

He keeps his mouth stubbornly shut, and he waits until she decides to ignore him. It’s better this way. They keep staring at each other until finally she throws her hands in the air.

“You wanna keep moping? That’s fine with me. But let me make you an offer first. Just try to sit, just once, I’ll help you, and I’ll tell you the rest of my story in exchange. What d’you think?”

He blinks at her, surprised.

“What?”

“You wanted to know what happened after I was given to that demon. I’ll tell you if you at least try to get better. Just this once.”

He keeps staring stupidly at her. He doesn’t think he could sit, even if he was willing to try. He feels like he’s wearing a too small cat suit made out of human skin. He didn’t hurt as much these last few days, he doesn’t want to risk bringing the pain back. But he’s very curious about her story. He doesn’t really have a reason why, and maybe it’s selfish. It’s a bad kind of voyeurism. He wants to know because what she already told him was disgusting and almost inhuman and he needs to know what more there could be. And it makes him feel guilty. But he can’t resist.

“Okay. But you tell me your story first and then I’ll do whatever you want.”

She huffs. “If it makes you happy…”

She crosses her legs together, and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Right, where were we last time?”

“Your first Master gave you to a demon for a book.”

“Right, don’t sugarcoat it.”

“Sorry.”

She shrugs. “Whatever. So, yeah. My new Master was a demon. But he had an awful lot of debts. He loved gambling. One day he met that strange guy at a bar, and me and two other slaves were accompanying him. Anyway, he drinks, he starts talking and boasting about how I’m educated and everything.” She looks down and starts pulling at a thread on her tunic. “And the guy just praises him, tells him what a good deal he got with me. He asks him if he likes poker, by any chance, and my Master, that stupid asshole, he says yes, of course. The guy tells him he’s not very good at it but he likes to play with friends, and my Master looks like he could become one of them. So he asks a bartender for cards and they start playing.”

“After a while my Master gets really drunk. And they played for nothing before that, just to ‘get warmed up’, the guy said. But then he asks my Master if he’d like to play for real. And since he acted like he didn’t know a single thing about poker and kept on loosing, my Master agrees. The guy asks what he wants to play for, so my Master starts pulling out his wallet. The guy stops him, tells him he has plenty of money, that he wants to bet something else, to up the stakes a little bit. So he points to me and he says ‘let’s play for that little lady. If I win I get to keep her. If I don’t you can take her back home and I’ll give you this,’ and he gets a small bag full of cash from under the table. And that was it,” she sighs. “You can guess that the guy won, my Master lost and had to give me away. He wasn’t really happy about it, he tried to fight the guy, but he was so drunk he could barely stand up.”

Dean is fascinated by the story. He doesn’t want her to stop. But she just stares at some little bits of bread crumbs left on the table next to her.

“Wow,” he just breathes, trying to make her talk a bit more. “What happened next?”

She looks at him again. “The guy’s name was Lionel. He worked for a Slave Trading company. He took me to his boss, and they kept me there and tried to sell me, but I was too expensive. Nobody wanted to buy me. They couldn’t lower their price because I was too educated. And they usually kill slaves when they don’t sell. What they do is, they put you in a single cell. At first it’s nice, because you’re usually crowded in those kinds of places. But slowly they stop giving you food, and water, and you just end up dying of hunger or dehydration.”

Dean can’t stop staring at her eyes. Her whole face changes, becomes softer when she recalls her past, it’s fascinating. He feels guilty for enjoying the story so much, though. But it’s so unbelievable for someone like him, who always knew what freedom was, that it almost feels like fiction.

He can’t help but ask. “They did that to you?”

A sad laugh leaves her mouth. “No. I was too valuable. They kept me, gave me some work there. And I was good at my job, you know? After a while I even had my own room, and I was fed three times a day, I could take a shower whenever I wanted… It was really nice. Even if the boss liked to take advantage sometimes. He was a fat little guy, with a really weird mustache and he always smelled like grilled cheese but… if it meant keeping my room and my privileges it was worth it. It wasn’t that bad.”

She looks up and he can see some tears shining in her eyes. This time he doesn’t try to prompt her to say more. She lets out a breath.

“So there you have it, my whole story. I spent ten years with those guys, and then Lucifer showed up and asked for a slave he could use as a nurse sometimes, so they had no choice but to give me away. I was getting a little old for the boss, anyway. And here I am.”

Her eyes find his again and she smiles, raising an eyebrow.

“Are you satisfied?”

He smiles sadly back and tries to shrug. “Sorry you had to go through all that. I really hope it’ll get better for you some day.”

She shakes her head, laughing bitterly and running her hand through her hair. “Don’t sweat it, Dean. It’ll only get better when I’m dead. And don’t you worry for me, anyway. When we’re out of here you’ll hate my guts, same as everybody else here.”

He huffs a laugh. “I’ll never hate you. You’re like the little cousin I never wanted,” he tries to cheer her up.

“The kind of cousin you bang?”

There a trace of real smile playing at her lips. “Uh, no offense, you’re a great chick but I had to pee in front of you and you touched my butt in a non-sexy way too many times for it to be attractive anymore. Sorry.”

She laughs. “Yeah, same here. And anyway you’re too whiny for my taste.”

They keep laughing for a while until he manages to stop enough to take a breath.

“So, are we doing this or what?”

“Right,” she says, all serious again.

She helps him to a sitting position and holds him up, her hands on his shoulder. It hurts, but less than it did the last time.

“I’m gonna let go. Push on your thighs or knees if you feel you’re gonna fall. Ready?”

He nods, and she lets go. This time he doesn’t fall. He waits a minute or so to be sure, but soon he looks up, and smiles happily at her like he just took his first steps.

“It works!”

“Of course it works, Asshat,” she smirks.

Dean’s never been this happy for something this small before. He tries to hold on to the feeling. He knows he’s going to need to remember this later.

“Thanks…”

She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Shut up.”

~*~

He spent a couple hours sitting like this, but he felt so tired after a while that he decided to take a nap. When he wakes up, his stomach hurts so much it feels like something is trying to cut its way out of his belly. And he starts to understand why it hurts so much. Should have thought about it way sooner, really. He doesn’t know how he held on for that long. Maybe it was because he was unconscious, or because of the fever.

His stomach growls, and he looks up in the direction of the little hole they have for a toilet. Shit.

The woman looks up from where she’s standing doing God-knows-what from the other side of the room, near the door.

“What are you looking at?”

She picks up two bowls from the floor and walks back to him.

“Nothing,” he answers, sheepishly.

She gives him an excited smile as she sits down in front of him. “Look, real food!”

He pushes himself up on his side and takes a look inside the bowl. Frankly, it looks like someone barfed into a bowl. He doesn’t see how it could be appetizing but his stomach growls again at the sight.

“Are you giving a concert in there,” she laughs, looking in the direction of his stomach.

His wounds hurt a little less now, so he can cover himself a bit more. He starts to blush at the words. She frowns at him for a few seconds and then her eyes widen.

“Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah, should have guessed it would happen someday. Sorry but you gotta do what you gotta do, you know. I won’t judge.”

Heat comes to his face in waves and he looks away.

“Nothing to be ashamed of, Dean.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry but I’m not used to having to take a shit in front of people. Not about to start now…”

She snorts. “What’re you gonna do? Hold it until we get out of here? You’re gonna burst a pipe in there if you do.”

“I’ve never seen you do it.”

“What do you think? I’m human, just like you. I just wait until you sleep to do my thing, that’s all.”

He huffs, and another growl from his stomach fills the silence. He hides his face in his arms, flopping on his belly again.

“Suit yourself,” she says. “Just don’t soil the sheets, I’m the one who has to clean if you—“

“Shut up.”

She laughs but doesn’t press. He hears she starts to eat.

He’ll just wait until she’s asleep. He’ll crawl to the corner of the room if he has to.

~*~

So this was awkward, but he managed. He’s starting to let go of his dignity, anyway. Like she says all the time, it’s just bodily functions, it’s natural. And it has to happen. So it happens. And that’s it. In those moments, he truly wishes he was at Gabe’s. But he’ll probably never see the mansion again.

He didn’t really have to crawl, either. He realized he could walk on all fours. It made him feel like a dog, but at least it’s something.

It’s been a few days again, he doesn’t know how many, but he can sit on his own now. The wounds started to scab, and he’s really happy about that, because even if it pulls on his skin a bit more, at least it doesn’t burn anymore.

Someone brings them the same kind of gruel they got the other time in the same little bowls, twice a day. He’s grateful for that. He feels he’s starting to get his strength back. And that’s good.

They talked a lot now that he’s awake most of the day. He told her about Sam, about life at Gabriel’s, about the other slaves. He’s pretty sure she knows a lot more than his brother does, by now. He even gave her some details about his nights with Gabe. But only because she insisted.

“So d’you miss it?”

He’s sitting with the sheets wrapped around his body, as tight as his wounds allow. It’s a bit cold today in here. She’s sitting next to him, wrapped in her own sheets, her entire side pressed to his so they can keep warm.

“What?”

“The hot, gay sex?”

He laughs. “Honestly? Yeah.”

He gives her a side eyed look, a shy smile on his face.

“I knew it,” she exclaims. “Well at least you’re sure you didn’t catch any weird MSTs with that one. Angels are so careful it’s insulting sometimes…”

She keeps shaking with silent laughter, and he laughs with her, but what she just said makes him stops slowly.

“I, uh. I don’t know actually.” She turns her head toward him, tilting it to the side, interrogating. “I mean he’s an angel, so he probably cured everything if something _was_ there…”

She blinks. “Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”

“I guess?”

“Dude!!” She punches his shoulder, hitting the top of one of the whip wounds in the process.

“Ow!! What?”

“ ‘Don’t be silly, cover your willy’. ‘Wrap it before you tap it’. Ever heard of that before?”

“Gee, thanks, Mom.”

“I’m serious.”

“Well, I’m sorry but I never thought about it. With girls, yeah, I don’t wanna leave a bunch of kids on the way but—“ She slaps the back of his head. “OW! What was that for?”

She raises her chin up and waits a few seconds before she answers. She’s so dramatic sometimes…

“You’re stupid.”

He sighs.

“You’re gonna tell me why, I suppose.”

“Do you have any idea the number of deceases you could catch while having sex with someone?”

“What is this, Sex Ed 101? I know all that. It’s not like I had a choice, anyway. You really think angels care about condoms?”

“Sure they do. My Masters always did. You said yours asked for your consent, I’m pretty sure if you had given him that one condition he would have worn one.”

“Your Masters wore condoms? Even the angel ones?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Told you he was interested in human culture. And the other one didn’t want to ‘catch anything from a filthy slave’.” She air-quotes the last words.

“Well, sorry. Like I told you, I forgot about it…” he pouts.

She turns her head away from him, looking at the door. “Well, next time you won’t,” she says, smugly.

He snorts. “ ‘Next time’, right. Can’t believe we’re even talking about that.”

“What? You’re done with dicks?”

“I’ve never been into dicks.”

“Right. Keep telling yourself that…” she says, turning to the little table so she can grab the glass of water and take a sip.

He doesn’t answer and takes the glass from her hand when she’s done. She stares at him while he drinks. When he’s done she takes it from him and puts it back down.

Finally, she looks at him again, squinting like she’s thinking about something.

“So you miss the sex, but only with him, is that it?”  

He shrugs.

“Do you miss him?”

Truth is, he doesn’t know. Maybe. He can’t be sure. He doesn’t blindly believe that everything Gabriel did was innocent anymore. It’s hard to think he could have been manipulated into wanting all those things. He doesn’t know which feelings are his own, now.

“I… wouldn’t say that, exactly. I don’t know. Maybe a little.”

Her smile turns gentle. “Do you love him?”

He almost jumps when she says the word. “No!”

“Don’t panic, it’s just a question.”

“I don’t love him… I mean… no. And if I thought I did it wasn’t real anyway. You can’t love someone who owns you and think you’re his thing.” He’s blushing again, dammit!

“Yeah, you can. That’s the problem.”

He looks down, pretending he’s suddenly very interested in his fingernails.

“Yeah, well, it stopped being possible when he decided to have me whipped because he trusted a fucking journalist words more than he trusted mine.”

Hot anger flows through him, and he huffs to expel it away.                                 

“Right, sensitive topic. Sorry. Let’s talk about something else, then.”

~*~

The days pass, or he thinks they do, and they all look the same. They both spend their time talking, because there’s nothing better to do. It’s nice. He never took the time to bond with someone like this before, especially with a chick. Maybe he did, a bit, with the girls at Gabriel’s, but it was different.

He can walk now. His back still hurts. The woman says the pain will never truly go away, but he’s healing well. She says he has to prepare himself, that they’ll have to come back ‘up’ very soon.

He’s been trying to avoid the thought, but now he can’t escape it. He doesn’t want to leave the cell. Every time he think about it, thinks about Lucifer, it feels like his insides are trying to crawl inside themselves. It’s not a nice feeling.

One day it happens. It’s a day like any other. They’re sitting on Dean’s mat, wrapped in their sheets, arguing over what they’d first eat if they ever escape slavery, when there’s a knock at the door. The small trapdoor where someone passes them food everyday opens, but this time there’s no bowl. Just a bunch of clothes. She turns to him, eyes wide with… something. Not exactly fear, but maybe regret? Sorrow?

“They’re for you,” she simply says.

He nods. He doesn’t want to think about it.

When she sees he’s not moving she gets up, and goes to pick them up, bringing them back to him. Just some thick black pants and a long white shirt with long sleeves. He puts them on, slowly. The lock makes a noise, and someone’s opening the door.

She pulls him up quickly, keeping him close.

“Meg,” she whispers, urgently.

He blinks at her. He feels like he’s high. Too much adrenaline. “What?”

“That’s my name, Dumbass!”

The door opens. There’s a guy standing in the doorway, but Dean barely looks at him. He only sees that he’s smirking at Meg.

“Vacation’s over!” He chirps.

“Follow my lead,” she tells Dean.

Meg tells Dean. It feels weird that she has a name now.

She smiles reassuringly at him and they leave the cell, following the other guy.

 


	14. I promise I'll be good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than usual (15k+. 46 pages. Seriously. Wtf.) to make up for all the time you had to wait for this chapter, and also what's inside... 
> 
> Please read the tags, there's some very triggering content toward the end! I put some ***** on the right just before the scene starts if you want to avoid it (the scene continues toward the end, so when you reach that point and don't want to read further that means you're done with the chapter).

# CHAPTER 14 : I promise I’ll be good

 

When Gabriel first came to be, when he first saw the light of his Father and his older brothers, the first thing he noticed was how beautiful the others were. How bright and powerful they looked to him. Amongst them, one shone brighter than all of them together, though. Lucifer, the Morning Star, they called him. He was the first born, the favorite.

Gabriel, naïve and compelled by his all new sense of curiosity, felt immediately drawn to him. He followed him around a lot, and eventually Lucifer took him under his wing. Taught him about the universe and all of Creation. About their Father and His work. About them, the Archangels, too. About the other angels that were going to be but weren’t yet.

And it was wonderful. Lucifer was wonderful. Now… Gabriel isn’t sure what happened.

He knows that when humans were created, Lucifer felt betrayed. And he sinned. He created the first demon as he was trying to see if humans were really as worthy as their Father said they were. He questioned their Father and for that was almost cast out of Heaven.

After that, even if he was quieter, he kept taking care of Gabriel. His light was duller, but he was still himself. He was still the Brother Gabriel loved.

But things changed in the last decades or so. And Gabriel doesn’t know what to think about it. He wonders what turned his Brother into the cruel angel he became.

Gabriel can’t entirely blame Dean for what’s happening to him, either. Truth is, he feels alone now, and lost. He wishes Castiel was here, still. Cas never hesitated to tell him when something was wrong. Dean didn’t either. But nobody’s here anymore.

Heavens, he needs some guidance! His slaves are behaving oddly. They barely talk anymore. He tried seeking the company of Camilla, he knows she never hesitates to tell the truth. But she seems… withdrawn. He doesn’t get it.

He thought things would get better once Dean was taken away, but it’s worse, actually. He tries not to acknowledge how guilty he feels when he thinks about Dean, now. But sometimes his mind takes him to the day he gave Dean to Lucifer. He can’t help picturing him lying bloody and unconscious, and it’s unbearable.

He tries to tell himself Dean deserved it. He’s not sure it’s entirely true. He’s not sure of anything anymore. He needs to talk to someone.

With a sigh he leaves his study and makes his way to the slaves’ quarters. He hears whispers through the half open door once he gets there, and stops to listen in.

“Sweetie… You didn’t have to do that,” Charlie says.

She seems distressed. He wonders what happened.

“It’s okay,” Jordan answers. And it makes Gabriel even more curious. “I’m an adult now, I have to stop living in a dream. That’s what Mrs. Herbert keeps telling me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that…” Camilla comes in. She sighs.

He needs to know what happened. He straightens up and knocks, pushing the door without waiting to see if someone is going to answer.

They all freeze when they see him. Bobby, who was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed above his chest, straightens up. The others don’t move and they just stare at Gabriel with wide eyes.

And finally he sees Jordan, hidden behind Charlie. Her hair is cut short. He guesses she did it herself. It’s uneven and messy, some strands longer than others, especially on her neck. When she notices he’s looking at her she steps aside, taking the stance.

He blinks, struggling to find his words. He’s really surprised. And with her hair cut like this… he really sees the boy in her. He almost forgot.

He walks to her and crouches down in front of her, pushing her chin up until she’s looking at him.

“Why did you cut your hair, Kiddo?”

She hesitates before she opens her mouth.

“I’m an adult now,” she says. She glances toward Camilla, then back at him. “I’m a man. I have to start looking like one.”

Gabriel frowns. “Do you feel like a man, now?”

She swallows, uncomfortable. “Yes, Master.”

“I can see when you’re lying, you know,” he whispers, as gently as he can.

She bites her lower lip and she struggles for a while, he can see she wants to cry maybe, but she doesn’t. She just raises her chin up, like Dean did sometimes, he notices, and stares right into his eyes.

“Sorry, Master. I just want you to be happy.”

He hums, thoughtful. This is weird. “You know I’m happy when you’re all happy, right? I never said I wanted you to look like a boy if you don’t feel like it,” he tries.

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, looking briefly down. He sees she’s shaking slightly, and she takes a breath through her nose, gathering courage before she answers.

“I know you don’t like to go to the slaves market. I know you were happy with Arthur and Dean, so…” She stops. Hesitates again.

This isn’t good. He sees where she’s going.

He sighs. “Jordan…”

“I know you like me,” she interrupts. “That’s what everybody says, so if I become a boy again then you won’t have to go to the slaves market and you’ll be able to…” she trails off.

He closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. When he opens his eyes again, Jordan is still staring at him, resolution clear in her eyes.

He can’t believe it. He can’t believe she thought he would…

He looks around at the others. They’re all staring obstinately at their feet.

“Camilla, did you know about this?”

Mrs. Herbert looks up when she hears him say her name, her face blank.

“No, Master,” she answers. “But Jordan’s right. It would save you a trip to the outside, especially now that the free men have their eyes on you. It would avoid another scandal. She… _he_ didn’t have any training but I’m sure he can learn quickly. If you don’t want to take care of it we can find someone who’ll come and teach her… him the basics. You won’t even have to think about it.”

The only reason he doesn’t interrupt her speech is because he can’t find the words. He can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“You really think I would…” he doesn’t end the sentence. He can’t.

Standing up, he looks at all of them in turn. A humorless laugh leaves his mouth.

“I can’t believe I’m actually hearing this.”

 “Sorry, Master,” Camilla says.

He doesn’t get them. What’s happening? He turns to Jordan again.

“Jordan, I won’t ask that of you. I know you don’t want to be a man, alright? You don’t have to do this. I appreciate you, but not in that way, you understand?”

A single tear rolls down her cheek but she doesn’t move.

“Are you going to give me away, then?”

“No! Why would I do that?”

Her voice shakes when she answers. “You appreciated Dean,” is all she says.

He looks around again. And suddenly he understands. They’re scared. Of him.

“Listen,” he tells them all. “What happened with Dean… it was exceptional. I wouldn’t do that to any of you.”

They don’t answer.

“You believe me when I say I wouldn’t hurt you, right?”

A few seconds of silence. And finally…

“Yes, Master,” they say, all at once.

But they don’t believe him, he can see it. They’re scared of him and he won’t change their mind just by telling them they don’t have to be. He feels dizzy all of a sudden.

“I…” Sighing, he turns to Camilla. “Please, do something about her hair, alright? Make it less…”

He doesn’t know which word to choose to avoid upsetting Jordan so he just waves his hand in a vague gesture.

“Yes, Master,” she answers.

He can’t stay here anymore, he needs to go. He barely refrains from running up the stairs to go back to his study.

He can’t believe it. They’re scared of him. He saved them, he gave them a home, he’s been a nice Master. He did everything he could so they’d be comfortable. He doesn’t understand how a single event turned their respect into fear. They know what Dean did. They should understand why he punished him. He had to. He couldn’t just let it pass.

Locking himself inside his study, he throws himself on the couch and tries to think. He needs to win their respect back. He needs to chase the fear away. Maybe, if he manages to see Dean, to see he’s okay then they would change their mind. He could even take one or two of them with him. So they’ll know it’s the truth. He’s sure Dean is fine. Lucifer wouldn’t do anything unjustified… he wouldn’t.

But he can’t really be sure of that. He can’t know what his Brother is capable of anymore.

Guilt comes back, and he can’t think anymore. He’s not sure Dean’s sufferings equaled his crime. He’s not sure they were justified. But as long as his slaves acknowledged the fact that Dean needed to be punished, it was okay. As long as they were with him, he knew he was right to trust Lucifer.

But now they’re scared. It makes him feel like he went too far. Maybe he did.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything anymore. For the hundredth time, he wishes Cas was here. He would know what to do.

Gabriel sighs. He needs a drink, first. And then he needs to find a way to see Dean. He’s not sure Lucifer will allow it until Dean is ‘properly trained’. But the least he can do is try.

~*~

Dean’s walking up the stairs and for the first time in a few days his back is killing him, but he doesn’t really care about the pain. He’s too scared to find the strength to pay it any attention. The heat coming from Meg’s body on his left is a silent comfort, but he’s not sure it’s gonna be enough. Lucifer is a psychopath. Who knows what he’s gonna do to Dean next?

They reach the first floor, and the dark, moldy walls give way to a wonderful décor. Everything is made of white marble. The pieces of furniture scattered around are all made of white wood. The house looks dead, empty. Cold.

The way to Lucifer seems to last forever, and it seems to pass in a blink at the same time. They walk up another flight of stairs, across a narrow but long corridor, turn left twice, then up some stairs again. They turn on their right after this and take another corridor, wider this time, and they stop in front of a door. The other slave accompanying them knocks, and Meg’s hand finds his. She squeezes once and lets go.

Pushing the door open, the other slave lets them in. Meg pulls Dean inside and the door closes behind them. Now they’re trapped. They can’t turn back.

They’re in a huge room, filled with richly decorated, thick rugs. The walls are covered with blue and silver drapes. There are some armchairs standing in a semi-circle in the middle of the room, and a coffee table in front of them. Lucifer is sitting in one of the chairs, his eyes boring holes into Dean as he looks at them come closer. The room looks like a living room. But it’s so cold it just feels like a really beautiful tomb.

Meg keeps going until they’re standing about ten feet from Lucifer, and she bows her head. Dean follows, and when he gets to her side she falls on her knees. He decides the best thing to do is follow her lead, like she told him. So he bends down, careful of his back, and folds his legs under him, eyes straight to the floor. His heart is hammering so hard in his chest he can’t hear anything ~~else~~ but the quick _thump thump thump_ of his blood pulsing through his body. As he lets his hands rest on his thighs, he realizes they’re shaking. He checks on Meg and sees she’s holding her arms being her back. He does the same.

Lucifer chuckles quietly.

“I see you’re much more obedient now…” Dean hears him move. “The punishment worked, I guess?”

Dean sees Lucifer’s feet appear directly in front of him. He refrains from shivering. His whole body tightens in fear and anticipation.

“Take off your shirt,” the angel says.

Dean hesitates for a second, because he’s scared Lucifer is going to hurt him more, but he reasons it’s gonna be worse if he doesn’t do as he’s told. So he slowly takes off his shirt. Lifting his arms is painful. He hopes Lucifer is not gonna touch is back, or do worse.

The angel walks around him and stops behind him. He stays there for a while, probably enjoying his good work, until Dean feels the tip of Lucifer’s finger brushing his neck.

“Perfect…” the angel whispers.

He walks around again, and comes to stand in front of Meg.

“You did a very good job, Girl. I am satisfied.”

“Thank you, Master,” she quietly answers.

She doesn’t sound like herself at all. It terrifies Dean even more, because back in the cell she looked like nothing could scare her. In his peripheral vision he sees that Lucifer is running his hand through her hair. She keeps her eyes open wide, staring obstinately at her knees. When he lets go and takes a step back, Dean’s pretty sure she lets out a relieved breath.

“You can leave, now.”

She barely glances toward Dean and stands up swiftly. He makes a move to stand up as well but Lucifer turns to him.

“I’m not talking to you,” he snaps.

Dean settles on his knees again, fear twisting his guts. He doesn’t want Meg to leave him alone, but he can’t do anything about it. As she turns around to go, her hand brushes Dean’s shoulder. He tries to take comfort in that, but as soon as he hears the door closing behind her he forgets all about it.

Tightening his grip on his shirt, he tries to reign himself.

“You made friends with her, didn’t you?”

Being free is so easy, Dean thinks suddenly. He should have listened to Sam. Sam is always right, he knows that. When he told Dean going to Raphael’s was a bad idea he should have listened. Now he’s here, he’s gonna die, and he’s never going to see Sam ever again and tell him he was right.

 _Breathe, Dean_.

It takes him a few seconds before he remembers he’s supposed to answer, and how. He doesn’t want to hurt more than he does now.

“Yes, Master.”

Lucifer chuckles again.

“What a good little dog you became,” he exclaims. “But I know you’re only being good so I won’t hurt you anymore. I’m sorry, it doesn’t work like that. I haven’t forgotten all the things you spat to my face.”

His voice is pleasant, he sounds relax. Dean’s muscles are so tight that he’s starting to shake all over.

“I can understand what Gabriel sees in you. I could keep you on your knees for days, this is a very pleasing sight.” He walks around Dean again. “But that would be too kind.”

He presses one of his fingers into Dean’s back, on a spot where two wounds cross. Dean holds back a cry. Lucifer takes his hand away.

“Get up.”

Standing up and letting his shirt fall on the floor, he takes the stance. Lucifer’s hand brushes his arm as the angel comes to stand in front of him again.

“Look at me,” he orders.

Dean looks up, but he tries not to stare into the deep blue of Lucifer’s eyes. They’re nothing like Castiel’s eyes. They seem cold and cruel.

“There, perfect,” Lucifer smiles. “I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen to you. You’re going to suffer, a lot. Until you almost forget your name. I want you compliant. I want to destroy that rebellious spirit of yours. If it works, if you let me, then I may give you back to Gabriel to end your pitiful days with him. But before that I’ll ruin you for him. I hope you understand what that means. He betrayed me because of you, and he needs to be taught a lesson as much as you do.”

He smirks, and Dean finally let a shiver run up his spine.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes, Master.”

At least it’s almost automatic. Like riding a bike. You never truly forget and the habit comes back pretty quickly.

“Good.”

Dean doesn’t know it happens but one moment he’s standing in the weird living room, the next he’s outside, and Lucifer’s hand is on his arm. The sun is almost down, and the air is chilly. They’re standing in the middle of a neatly mown lawn, surrounded by bushes and flowers of all sorts. The mansion is right in front of them, tall, impressive. Colorless. Like a giant prison.

With a wave of his hand, Lucifer has Dean’s ankles cuffed and chained to the ground. Dean doesn’t know what’s holding the chains down, but he’s pretty sure he can’t escape them.

“Stand properly,” Lucifer orders.

Dean takes the stance. The grass feels divinely cold under his bare feet. It’s much better than all the concrete he’s been surrounded by all this time. He takes a deep breath, and it’s soothing. He’s a little less scared now that he’s outside, able to see the sky for the first time in days. Keeping his arms behind his back hurts a little. It almost feels as if his wounds are protesting against the position, but he holds on.

The angel is right in front of him, hands behind his back, giving him a once-over.

“Do you know what we do to pets that misbehave?”

Dean doesn’t know what to answer to that. He’s panicking again. Was it rhetorical? But Lucifer isn’t expecting Dean to open his mouth, or he probably doesn’t care. He keeps going.

“It’s customary for humans, I believe, to chain their dogs outside for a couple of days when they’re not happy with them…” He smirks. Dean tries not to feel too angry at being called a dog. “If you sit, if you move, or if you attempt to get free of the chains, the punishment will be so terrible even I don’t have the words for it. Do you get it?”

What? Is that it? He’s not going to leave Dean here for days, is he? Dean blinks at the angel.

“Yes, Master,” he mutters, taken aback.

He was expecting something painful. Apparently this isn’t it.

“Good boy. Stay,” Lucifer mocks.

And he vanishes with a smirk. Dean just stares at the spot he was standing on a second before and tries to figure out what Lucifer’s end game is with all this. He’s relieved for now, though. There’s no pain coming, not right away at least. He just has to stand here.

Somewhere in the mansion, on one of the last floors, a light goes on. Dean sees the curtain being put aside, and Lucifer appears at the window and smiles down on him. That smile doesn’t promise anything good.

Whatever it is, Dean will endure it. He has to. Lucifer said he would give him back to Gabriel if he did was he was told. Getting back to Gabe’s mansion wouldn’t be easy for Dean, it would suck, but at least it would be better than being stuck here, and it would bring him one step closer to Sam. His brother will probably be able to get him out of there again.

So he stands there, on the grass, shirtless and shaking with the cold, until the sky turns almost black and he can barely see the mansion anymore. Obviously, it had to rain at some point. At first it’s just a few drops. Then it’s like there’s an apocalypse coming. It’s worse than anything. The thick drops of rain seem to burn his skin. Not to mention what they do to his wounds. He just stands still because he doesn’t see what else he can do anyway. When the rain stops, he’s pretty sure he’s bleeding again. He’s so cold now, he hopes he’ll only have to stay here for the night. From time to time, he can see Lucifer checking up on him through a window. He wishes he could deep fry that fucking asshole archangel with some holy oil. But he can’t, so he stays up, standing straight all night long, until, finally, he sees the first ray of morning light pierce the sky.

His back hurts, his legs hurt. He wonders how long he’s going to hold on. He doesn’t want to face worse than the whipping session. All the stories the other slaves at Gabriel’s told him come to his mind again. Jessica’s story was the most memorable. She couldn’t walk anymore. She was going to die. He probably wouldn’t be as lucky as her if the same thing happened to him.

At some point the sun is high in the sky, and his stomach starts to growl. But he’s been hungry most of the time for that last month or so, and so he knows it’s gonna go away after a while. He just has to stop thinking about it. Instead, he thinks about the things he can feel crawling in the mud under his feet. The ground is drying slowly. His knees are killing him. His wounds burn again. He’s pretty sure he caught a cold, and he’s scared the fever will come back. From what he understood, they’re not allowed antibiotics here. He wonders if Lucifer is aware that humans can die from a simple fever.

This is the longest day Dean’s ever been through. He starts getting tired as the sun sets again. He tries looking at the mansion, tries figuring out what each room could be. It helps him forget about how cold he feels. From time to time he flexes all the muscles he can, to be able to feel his body again. Or to stop feeling it so much. Sometimes it’s almost like he’s only a brain floating in mid-air. He needs to sleep. If he’s starting to think things like this, that means he needs sleep. He’s done worse with Sam, when they were on hunts. Sometimes they didn’t sleep for forty-two, fifty hours straight. But they kept each other company. They didn’t have to stand half-naked for so long.

When the second night ends, he’s shivering again. This time it’s not just the cold. He’s sure something’s wrong with his back. Some of the wounds hurt much more than before. Or maybe that’s because he’s thinking about it too much. He starts getting a headache when the sun reaches its peak, around noon. He’s exhausted. He can’t feel his legs anymore. He peed himself. But it’s okay, now that it’s done. It’s going to dry, he doesn’t even care anymore. It’s a bit warmer today. It feels good. He tries to stay awake, but he’s dizzy now. He’s probably going to faint soon. He scared of the punishment Lucifer promised, but he’s almost past caring. He just wants it to end. He can’t take it anymore. He won’t hold on until nightfall. It’s not possible.

But he does. The moon starts to get visible, there’s no clouds anymore. He can see the stars. He tries to remember what he told Sam about them when they were little. He’s so tired his brain can’t quite catch the words, though. He feels like he’s dying again. But he knows from experience now that it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end. It can get much worse.

There’s the sound of wings and he looks down. Lucifer’s here, smirking at him. Dean never thought he could be so happy to see that particular angel.

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “Do you think it’s enough?”

There’s no right answer to that question, he knows it. He almost wants to cry.

“Answer me.”

“I don’t know, Master,” he croaks.

He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was until he tried to speak. Lucifer’s smile grows wider.

“Good answer.”

He takes Dean by the arm and they land into the blue living room. Dean falls to his knees and he tries to hold back the nausea. He just wants to let himself fall right here and sleep for an entire week. Lucifer’s hand comes to grab his hair and pulls his head up.

“Hold yourself correctly,” the angel spits, letting go of his hair.

Dean sits back on knees, trying to hold his hands behind his back. He knows he should fight, but he’s so tired, and he hurts. He can’t do it. He just wants to sleep.

“Good. Now you can leave. Go to the slaves’ quarter. You’ll answer to The Girl while you’re here.”

“But I don’t know where—“

It came out as a reflex, and he doesn’t have the time to stop himself. Lucifer puts two fingers on his forehead. Dean waits for the pain to come, but it doesn’t. Instead his ears start ringing, and he forgets where he is for a second. He blinks, and Lucifer is standing in front of him, both his hands behind his back. Dean doesn’t know what happened.

“You can leave, now,” Lucifer says.

And Dean knows where he has to go. He knows his way into the whole mansion. Just like that.

“Yes, Master,” he whispers, stunned.

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He gets up quickly and finds the slaves’ quarter on the first try, carried by the adrenaline. He opens the door, his hands shaking. The room is small. And there are already four people lying on the floor. He doesn’t know where he’s going to fit in here.

“Dean!” He hears whispered.

It’s Meg. It’s so dark in here it takes him a few seconds to see her wave in the far left corner of the room.

“Come here, I have a mat,” she adds.

“Shut the fuck up,” someone says behind him.

That’s the guy who took them to Lucifer a few days before. Dean decides he’s an asshole. The other two slaves don’t move. Maybe they heard them, but they’re not commenting.

“You shut the fuck up before I cut you a new one,” Meg exclaims, sitting up.

Dean quickly maneuvers his way through the people on the floor and reaches Meg. He’s so happy to see her he almost wants to cry. He can’t help it. He crouches down and hugs her.

“Wow, you okay Dean-o?”

Hearing her voice whispered in his hear is even better than he thought it would be.

“Yeah,” he whispers back. “Sorry, had a shitty couple of days.”

He lets go of her, and she sits as far as she can against the wall. His voice has trouble coming out, and he coughs. She takes something from behind her mat.

“Here.”

It’s a water skin. He takes it eagerly and drinks the whole thing down. Taking the water skin from him and putting it away, she lifts the sheets up.

“Come on.”

He slides next to her but doesn’t lie down right away, even though the only thing he wants to do is sleep. But instead he leans over to her to be able to whisper into her ear.

“Can you… can you check my back? I think something’s wrong…”

“Sure.”

He can’t see shit in here, but he can make out the shape of her body as she gestures for him to turn around. Carefully, she brushes his whole back with the tip of her fingers. He keeps silent as she does so. Sighing, she removes her hands after a while.

“I don’t think the skin broke. Scabs are still here. I think you’re gonna be okay for tonight, I’ll check tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Now sleep.”

They both lie down, and he turns his back to the others and spoons her.

“Don’t take advantage, I’m watching you,” she whispers.

He hears the smile on her voice.

“I should be the one saying that.”

She laughs quietly. There’s a rustle coming from behind them.

“Will you shut your fucking mouths?!”

“Screw you, Asshole!” He and Meg answer at the same time.

It makes Meg laugh harder. Dean falls a sleep with a smile on his face.

~*~

In the mornings they’re allowed a dry piece of bread. During the days they’re fed the weird looking broth. There are only five of them, so they have to work hard, and long, without any breaks. The first three days are tough, but Dean manages. He quickly gets some of his strength back. Having Meg helps. On the morning of the fourth day, Asshole Guy comes to tell him he needs to go see Lucifer. Right now.

Dean feels reinvigorated by his nights with Meg. Not that anything happened, far from that. He doesn’t think about her that way. But it feels good to know he has a friend here. He feels less alone. In the morning, they sit on her mat in the slaves’ quarter while they eat, close to each other to keep warm. Dean has been given his shirt back, he feels better already. She checked his back, and she said it looked fine, so he tries not to worry about it. The pain is constant, but it’s bearable now. She says he has to learn to live with it and he’ll be fine.

Today is no different. But this time the fear is back, and he feels agitated.

“Okay so, when you go to him, you do exactly like I did the last time we went together, okay?”

She looks deadly serious. Taking a little bite of bread in mouth, he nods.

“Play dumb, be nice and obedient, and everything will be fine, alright?”

“Alright,” he answers, swallowing.

“I’m not kidding, Dean.”

“I know! I’ll be fine. I’ve got you, and I’m not stupid.”

She frowns, shaking her head. “Yeah, you are. I won’t always be here to save your ass. If you piss him off, God only knows what’ll happen. Don’t be cocky.”

“I get it, Meg. Don’t worry.”

She lets out a breath. “Okay. Don’t let me down, Dumbass.”

“I won’t.” He stands up, dusting away some bits and pieces of crumbs that fell on his pants.

She stands up, too. Her knees look blue, probably from the cold. She’s not wearing any pants. He guesses since she’s a woman, she’s not allowed a pair.

“Are you okay?”

He looks pointedly at her legs.

“Yeah, I’m used to it. Summer’s almost here, I’ll be the happy one when it’ll be hot as hell out there. Now go.”

She pulls on the black collar around her neck to try and flex the leather, like she does every five minutes ever since she had to put it back on. Apparently Lucifer didn’t want Dean to know about the slave collars right away. He told Meg he wanted to keep it as a ‘special surprise’ for Dean. How nice.

“Can’t you take it off at night?”

He knows she doesn’t like to talk about it, but he can’t help it. It seems to be attached pretty tightly. He can see angry red marks on the skin of her neck.

“D’you think I wouldn’t if I could?”

He raises his hands up in the air, placating. “Fine, sorry.”

“Go!”

“I’m going.”

He leaves before she can throw something at him. She did that once. He knows she has a good aim.

As he finds his way easily to Lucifer’s bedroom, where he’s supposed to go, he feels like his guts are starting to liquefy. He doesn’t want to go there. But he tries to remember what Meg told him. Be obedient and everything will be fine. Right. He only half believes it.

Too quickly, he’s standing in front of the bedroom door. Fuck it, he thinks. What has to happen will happen anyway, there’s nothing he can do about it. He just has to go through with it until he can go back to Gabe’s. Fuck Lucifer and his fucking fetishes.

He knocks.

Not hearing an answer, he pushes the door and enters the room. Lucifer is standing at the window, his back to Dean, a glass of something in hand, Dean can’t see from where he’s standing. He closes the door, his heart hammering against his ribcage, and he walks to the center of the bedroom. There’s a bed on the left. A giant bed, covered in black silk sheets. He wonders if it’s an angel thing. They don’t sleep much on them, so they think silk is cool. It’s not. There’s not much else. The room is smaller than all the others in the mansion. The angel probably doesn’t spend much time here.

This doesn’t feel good. Dean has a pretty clear idea what he uses that room for. He doesn’t want to think about it.

He’s starting to shake all over again. Kneeling down, he places his hands behind his back, trying keep calm. Lucifer turns slowly and raises an eyebrow. _Drama queen_ are the first words that come to Dean’s mind. He hopes angels can’t read thoughts.

“Frankly, I’m disappointed,” Lucifer starts, “I really thought you’d put more of a fight.”

Dean wants to snorts. He doesn’t.

“But I have to admit that you’re doing well, so far. I can appreciate that. So I had a little something made for you, as a reward for your excellent behavior.”

His smile turns dangerous and his eyes lit up.  Dean lets his gaze fall to the floor and tries not to let his fear show. This doesn’t sound good. He doesn’t want to know what Lucifer has in store for him.

He hears the angel walk closer to him, and one of his hands reaches Dean’s chin and tilt up his head, pulling him up until he’s forced to rise to his feet.

“You’ll look so beautiful wearing this,” he adds, holding something up in front of Dean’s face.

Goose bumps start running all over Dean’s body at the touch, and he has to move his head back a little to be able to see what Lucifer’s gift really is.

It’s a collar. Different from the ones the other slaves here wear. Theirs are just plain black, verging on gray. Made of leather, it seems. It’s more practical than anything else, a simple mark of ownership. On the back of it, Lucifer’s sigil is engraved. They don’t have a mark on their body, like the slaves at Gabriel’s. The sigil on the collar is all they need. But this one, _Dean’s collar_ , it’s different.

It’s a shiny black color, looking so pure Dean almost feels the need to touch it. It also seems more rigid than the other collars. It looks like it would hurt, cut the skin with every move. And there’s a single metal ring attached to it. To tie a leash to it, Dean guesses. Bile rises up his throat.

“Do you like it?”

Lucifer’s voice sounds amused. Dean looks up.

Of course he doesn’t like it. He wants to grab the thing and strangle the angel with it.

“Yes, Master,” he manages to get out through gritted teeth.

Lucifer runs his thumb on Dean’s lips and Dean can’t help but close his eyes and huff slightly. Remembering where he is, he opens them quickly and glares at the angel.

“Ah, there it is,” Lucifer says, gleeful. “The rage… I missed it.”

He takes his hand away from Dean’s face and unbuckles the collar, opening it. Dean blinks, waiting for Lucifer to buckle the thing onto his neck, but he never does. He just waits.

Dean looks up, eyes questioning.

“Come here,” Lucifer simply says.

It takes Dean a few seconds to understand what the angel means. But when he gets it, he feels heat coming to his face. Tightening his hold on his wrist behind his back, he lowers his body until all Lucifer has to do his close the thing on his neck.

Lucifer knows this is humiliating to Dean, having to put this on almost on his own. So Dean just goes along with it. He refuses to show it makes rage starts slowly burning in the pit of his stomach. He keeps it all inside, stores it for a better time.

He’s not stupid.

Straightening up, he looks straight into Lucifer’s eyes, his features as peaceful as he can make them. Lucifer arches an eyebrow.

“What do we say, then?”

“Thank you, Master,” Dean answers immediately.

If the angel wants to see him angry, then he’s gonna be really disappointed.

The collar burns against his skin, slowly. It’s secured so tightly around Dean’s neck that it feels like it’s choking him, but he endures it. Until he realizes the burn doesn’t go away. It’s only coming from a small part of the collar, on the back of his neck.

“You’re welcome,” Lucifer goes on. “I hope it’s not too uncomfortable. See, it’s slowly burning my mark into your skin. The more you’ll wear it, the more it’ll show.”

He smirks. The burning sensation intensifies, but Dean tries to ignore it as best as he can.

“It’s okay, Master,” he says.

He keeps staring blankly at the angel, hoping he’ll dismiss him soon. He needs to get out of here, pull at the collar until he can breathe normally again. He doesn’t want to start panicking here.

Lucifer keeps starting at him for what seems to be an eternity, and Dean keeps staring back, trying not to show anything. Finally, Lucifer sighs, like he was looking for something that he didn’t find. Taking a step back, he nods at Dean.

“Good, then. You can leave, now.”

Dean bows, like he saw the Asshole Guy do a few times, and he turns to leave.

“By the way,” Lucifer starts, making Dean stop right in front of the door, “I want you to report here every morning. Don’t think you’ll get off that easily.”

When Dean turns his head to look at him, the bastard’s smiling. Dean only nods, and he goes back to work.

~*~

Dean spends his days feeling deeply anxious of things to come. He knows Lucifer is gonna do _something_ , he just doesn’t know _when_. And it’s making him antsy. He’s so wound up all the time he wakes up sore every morning. And then he has to ‘report’ to Lucifer. Which basically means he has to go wherever the bastard is, follow him around for a couple hours or kneel at his feet, until the angel gets fed up and sends him back to work. It’s unnerving. He knows Lucifer is going for the whole dog metaphor, and he knows it’s supposed to make Dean feel angry as hell and he shouldn’t really pay it any attention, but it’s starting to work. He feels murderous now every time Lucifer throws a remark at him.

He’s not going to act on it. He’s not going to open his mouth, no, sir. He doesn’t want to get in trouble. He doesn’t want to die. He needs to get back to Sammy. That’s the only thought keeping him alive, now.

He’s gonna stop thinking about what he could do to Lucifer once he’s free again. He has other things on his mind, anyway. He’s filthy, for one thing. They have a shower. Just one, though. It’s nothing like the sort of communal shower room they had at Gabriel’s. Here there’s just one stall, and you can take one hot shower before the water gets cold. It only warms during the night, so if you’re not the first to wash yourself, then you’re fucked. It’s fucking cold all the time in the mansion, so Dean doesn’t want to risk getting a pneumonia or something. He just doesn’t shower anymore.

Meg doesn’t either. Or at least he never saw her take one. So he thinks it’s okay. He smells like shit, not literally, but still, but at least he’s not the only one. He tells her that one day, as they’re both trying to polish the wooden floor of the main reception room.

“You’re the smelly one,” she answers, raising an eyebrow at him from the other side of the room, “you just rub your smell on me at night.”

She smirks and gets back to wiping the floor with the scented paste they’re using, sliding on her knees like she’s been doing that her whole life. Which she probably did, now that he thinks about it. It’s more difficult for him, though. His knees and back hurt from moving around on all fours all morning long. And the collar cuts into his skin ~~with~~ every time he moves, even just a tiny bit.

Straightening up, he huffs and slides his finger between the leather of the collar and his skin. There, better. He’s still bleeding, though. Not much, since he tries to clean the patch of hurt skin every night.

He’s stretching his arms when Lucifer appears through the open door. Startled, Dean just has time to fall forward again and pretend to do what he’s supposed to. His heart starts hammering in his chest again, and he has no idea what he should do. In the corner of his eyes he sees that Meg keeps going so he does the same.

Lucifer takes his time, walking in the room slowly, until he’s standing right in front of Dean and Dean has no choice but to look up. Sitting back on his heels he lets his hands rest on his thighs. He’s working, for fuck’s sake! What will the angel think he was doing this time?

“You’re distracting The Girl,” Lucifer says.

It’s a statement, not a question.

“No, Master.”

Lucifer’s reaction is immediate. He grabs Dean by the air and pulls him up.

“Don’t you dare lie to my face, I heard your voice!”

Dean can barely turn his head but he manages a glance toward Meg. She looks at him, worry evident on her face as she stands on her knees, gesturing and mouthing “Play dumb!”

Looking up at Lucifer again, he licks his lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t think… I… I didn’t mean to. Master.”

Lucifer arches an eyebrow. “Say that again.”

The collar digs into the back on Dean’s neck. He feels like his hair is going to tear away from his skull.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—“

Lucifer slaps him so hard he feels dizzy for a second. His body hits the floor, hard. He’s disoriented for a moment, and the only things he feel is the throbbing pain in his cheekbone and the burn on his scalp.

“You’re here to work, not to make friends,” the angel spits at him.

From the back of the room, behind Lucifer, Meg nods at him exaggeratedly, and he understands she’s trying to tell him he should answer.

“Yes, Master,” he breathes, pushing himself up on his knees again. Lucifer strolls out of the room, leaving them both to their work.

But Dean can’t start working again. He’s shaking all over and his cheek hurts like hell. He thinks he’s going to throw up. The pain in his skull is unbearable. He groans, closing his eyes. In an instant, Meg is at his side, her hands on his face.

And it makes him feel shameful.

He pushes her hands away.

“I’m fine.”

“Dean, come on, let me see…”

She tries to turn his head on the side to see the damage on his cheek but he doesn’t let her.

“I said I’m fine! Gimme a sec, okay?”

He takes a few calming breaths and finally opens his eyes, blinking back tears. Meg is looking at him, waiting. He sighs.

“What was that for?”

She shrugs. “He has bad days, like everybody else. He probably felt like hitting someone, and he chose you ‘coz you’re the newbie here.”

“Awesome…”

Pushing the tip of his finger into his cheek, he checks for damage, maybe a broken bone. He hisses when he touches the most sensitive spot, but he’s pretty sure nothing’s broken. He’ll just have a big bruise on his face for a while, probably.

Meg stares at him while he does, but she doesn’t try to touch him.

“Are you okay?”

He nods. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Do I need to remind you I’m the only one in this place with a medical education? Come on, let me take a look.”

“I’m fine.”

“I know, it hurts your manhood to let a woman take care of you,” she smirks, “but if you don’t let me take a look I’m gonna punch you in the face and I’ll make sure to knock you out so I can examine you.”

He blinks at her.

“Don’t be an ass, Dean.”

He lowers his head, running a hand through his hair.

“Fine,” he concedes, looking up again. “But I’m pretty sure it’s nothing.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

She smiles at him, a genuine smile, not one of her sad smirks, and she carefully turns his head so she can look at the right half of his face.

“Don’t let it get to you,” she whispers, absent-mindedly.

“What d’you mean?”

He hisses when she touches the sensitive spot on his cheek.

“I mean you’re too proud for your own good, Dean-o. Don’t let those angels use that against you.” Her eyes find his again. “Alright?”

He nods, uncomfortable, and avoids her gaze, staring at a random spot behind her instead. He clears his throat.

“I can’t believe I’m going to say this but Lucifer is not the worst angel I’ve faced.”

She arches an eyebrow, giving him an amused look.

“Yeah, you met Zachariah.”

He wasn’t expecting the name to come out of her mouth. He shudders. Shrugging to hide his discomfort, he forces a laugh out of his throat.

“Yup. Complete nutjob.”

“You think he’s bad. Wait until you see the guy who taught him everything.”

She lets go of his face and sits back on her heels.

“There’re people who teach that kind of things?”

“Only one who specializes in ‘human discipline’,” she air-quotes the last words. “That Alastair guy, I swear…” Dean’s heart skips a beat. “I only saw him once but the guy is completely out of his mind. You’d think Lucifer is the worst Traditionalist ever, but this one, if you could hear all the things he said while he was here… Seriously, I want to punch something just thinking about it.”

Dean can’t believe he almost forgot about the murders. But here he is, talking with Meg about _Alastair_. The guy he was looking for. He tries to pretend he’s not affected, and he grabs his piece of cloth on the floor and starts sweeping the floor again.

“Isn’t he a demon, though? Why would he come here?”

“You know him?” She sounds surprised. “And duh, Dean. Why do you think demons don’t kill us on sight? They have to negotiate with angels if they want to keep slaves and their freedom.”

“Uh, I didn’t know.”

She stands up, going back to her corner.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t. Free people don’t give a shit about that, as long as it doesn’t affect them.”

He keeps the retort he wants to throw back at her for himself. He knows she’s right.

“I never met the guy, but from what I heard he’s pretty dangerous. Why would Lucifer do business with him?”

“How would I know? I’m just a slave, I know they’re tight, from what I saw, but that’s it.”

She frowns at him like she doesn’t understand why he’s asking all this.

“Don’t look at me like that, I just think it’s strange, demons trading with angels.”

“Yeah, you got some Hunter residue left in you…”

Shrugging, he goes back to polishing the floor.

“Can’t help it.”

“Yeah, well, forget about it and do your job before Lucifer comes back to decorate your other cheek.”

He does what he tells her and he doesn’t open his mouth again. This is weird. Why would Alastair try to get close to Lucifer? Does he want to kill the archangel, too? Not that Dean would blame him if he did… He should maybe let things follow their course. He’ll see what happens. Maybe he’ll get a first row seat to Lucifer’s execution. That would be nice. He needs an actual proof that the demon Alastair is actually their guy, right?

Nothing more he can do about those angel murders for now, though.

~*~

“You look like someone glued a steak to your face,” Meg says, sitting down on her mat next to him.

This day felt like it was never going to be over. Dean has a headache, and his whole face is throbbing with pain. He tries to snarl at her but it just hurts even more. Hissing, he takes the pack of ice she brought him from her hands.

“Shuddup.”

The ice brings him relief almost immediately. He closes his eyes and sighs. He can’t believe he slept on the bruise during the night without even noticing. It’s been getting worse and worse ever since he woke up. And Lucifer noticed. He kept him longer this morning and kept taunting him as Dean kneeled at his feet, bumping his knee on Dean’s cheek on purpose, the bastard.

He should stop thinking about it. He’s okay now. He’s with Meg. Everything’s fine.

“Thanks,” he whispers.

“Turn around, I need to check your back.”

He complies, too happy to be free of the pain to say anything. She lifts his shirt and runs her finger on his wounds. They’re all closed now. Even the ones she had to stitch up. She took the thread out the day before, so now everything’s back to normal. Or, almost back to normal. His skin still feels like it’s too small for his body, and every move he makes pulls at the wounds and scars, but she said it was normal. That’s what he’s going to feel for the rest of his days from now on, so he decided to just get used to it.

“Everything’s good,” she states, pulling his shirt down.

He hums and lies back down until his head is resting on her thighs. She laughs.

“What d’you think you’re doing?”

Opening one eye, he smiles at her.

“You’re comfy. And I’m tired.”

“You’re tired? You sleep more than anyone here. You lazy ass.”

He closes his eye again and sighs. “I don’t mean… I mean I’m not that tired, we work a lot but I’m used to not sleeping much it’s just…” he blinks and looks up at her, “I’m… tired. Of all this. You know?”

She hums, pensive, and runs her hand through his hair.

“You’re taking things too seriously.”

He laughs unhappily. “ ‘cause this shit ain’t serious, is that it?”

“Not what I mean. But, when life gives you lemons…”

“Come on! Seriously?” He sits up again, turning around so he can face her. “Don’t give me that bullshit.”

She smirks. “What can I say? I’m an eternal optimist.”

“After everything that happened to you? You’re seriously telling me you’re happy here?”

It pisses him off, he can’t help it. Especially because he knows she’s been free once. He doesn’t know how she can say stuff like that so calmly.

“I’m not happy, but I’m contented by what I have, there’s a difference.”

Dean snorts at that.

“Don’t laugh at me, Dumbass. That’s how I survived all these years. And that’s why I’m not crazy or half dead, yet. You noticed how Will and Leo never talk?”

He frowns. “Who?”

“The two other slaves?”

Oh. Yeah. The young ones. They’re so discreet he always forgets they’re here.

“Well, Leo doesn’t talk because he’s deaf. And anyway he only chats with his brother. They even have their own secret sign language. That’s amazing, by the way, you should watch them sometime.”

“They’re brothers?”

She gives him the ‘are you really that stupid’ look again.

“Yeah. But anyways, the point is they don’t talk to anyone else because they care too much, just like you do. And it broke them. So stop worrying or you’ll end up just like them.”

“So what? I should just be ‘content’ that I’m here?”

“Not that you’re here, no. Find something to hold on to. Something positive.”

He rolls his eyes and tucks his legs under him. The ice pack is starting to burn his skin. He puts it down.

“You’re shitting me. Don’t tell me you found something positive to think about every time you ended up with someone new.”

“When my fist Master bought me I was happy because I was taught a lot of things. When that demon piece of shit got me I was happy because I finally had friends. I had other slaves to talk to. When the guy from the slaves trading company won me, I was happy because I had a room of my own, a hot shower, and real food. Now I’m happy because I don’t have to use my ass to stay alive. Not Lucifer’s style apparently. So, yeah, I always find something. That’s how I stay sane.”

He stares at her, studying the look of conviction on her face. She really believes she’s happy like this, then? It fills him with deep sadness, and he has to look down, unable to bear her gaze any longer. He brings the ice pack to his face again.

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky.”

“You don’t believe me because you don’t want to let go of your freedom. But you have to accept it’s over, Dean. You have to accept your fate, or everything Lucifer is doing will get to you.”

His head snaps up and he’s about to answer but she interrupts him.

“I don’t mean you should abandon the idea of freedom forever. But the sooner you’ll accept that for now there’s nothing you can do but take what happens and not let it affect you, the better you’ll be.”

“It’s easy for you to say…”

“Yeah, it is, actually. Trust me. If you wanna survive as a slave and maybe see that brother of yours you’re always talking about again, then you should follow my advice.”

Huffing, he stands up and starts walking to the door.

“Where are you going?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Come on, you’re gonna get mad at me because I told you the truth?”

“I need to take a piss,” he answers, slamming the door behind him.

She doesn’t get it. If she doesn’t want to fight, that’s fine, but he’s not gonna give up because she thinks it’s the right thing to do. Lucifer is not going to break him, whatever he does. Dean will get through this like he always did. He’s tired of pretending he’s a nice slave. He lost himself along the way, but what Meg said brought him back.

From now on he won’t take any of Lucifer’s bullshit anymore. He’s gonna fight. And he’s gonna win.

~*~

Dean steps inside one of the small reception rooms, where he knows Lucifer is waiting for him, steeling himself for what he’s about to do. He barely slept last night, first because he slept on the floor, as far from Meg as he could, and second because he couldn’t stop thinking about what a stupid ass he’s been. He grew soft during his stay at Gabriel’s. The whipping didn’t help either. And Sam was right, again. He’s been manipulated, _tamed_ , until he did everything he was told, but that’s over.

This time he doesn’t walk far inside the room. He stays near the door, standing up, his arms at his sides, and he waits. Lucifer is reading the papers, sitting in one of his fancy ass armchairs. He snaps his fingers, indicating the floor in front of him. Dean doesn’t move.

The angel looks up, arching an eyebrow. He looks amused.

“We’re in a mood, today…” he smirks.

Dean keeps staring at him, not moving. He’s unable to move, anyway. He feels paralyzed. By fear, or anxiety, or probably both. He can hear his blood pumping in his whole body. But he stands his ground.

Lucifer sighs. “Okay, you made your point. Now come here before I have to get up and drag you here myself. And you know I’d love to.”

Feeling a lump forming in his throat, Dean takes a breathbefore he opens his mouth.

“No.”

Surprise crosses Lucifer’s face before he full-on laughs.

“Heavens, Boy, I didn’t know you still had that in you!”

He keeps silently laughing as he folds the newspaper he’s holding, standing up and putting it down on his seat.

“Good for you,” he goes on, walking up to Dean slowly. “I was starting to think you were over-selling yourself at Gabriel’s the few times we saw each other. I was disappointed, frankly.”

Dean tightens his fist, trying not to let the angel see he’s shaking.

“Yeah, well, sorry I kept you waiting,” he sneers.

Lucifer is close now, barely two feet away from him, smiling.

“Are you going to go kneel near my chair or do you want to keep going for a little while longer?”

Dean holds the angel’s gaze, and he tries to smirk. Makes him think about Meg.

“I’m good here, thanks.”

Grabbing him by the hair violently, Lucifer drags him across the room until they’re both facing the armchair. Dean can’t help but groan under the pain, but he holds back any scream.

“Kneel!”

“No!”

Lucifer huffs, pulling Dean’s head back.

“Do I need to break your knee, again? I said : Kneel!”

As an answer, Dean spits in his face. For a moment, everything freezes. Until someone knocks on the door.

Slowly, Lucifer wipes Dean’s spit from his face with the back of his hand. He keeps a tight grip on Dean’s hair with the other, and turns to face the door.

“Come in,” he says, as if nothing happened.

The door opens, and Meg steps in, letting the Archangel Michael in. She freezes in her spot near the door when she sees them.

Michael just looks mildly surprised.

“I thought you said he was behaving,” he tells Lucifer.

“He is, he’s just throwing a tantrum today,” Lucifer replies.

He knees Dean on the back of the thighs. Dean falls on his knees with a sharp cry, and Lucifer takes advantage and steps on his calves, one hand still pulling his head up.

“But everything’s under control,” the angels adds.

Michael just stares for a second before he looks away, disinterested, and heads for the couch next to the armchair. Meg is still here, looking at Dean with her mouth open in disbelief.

“If you keep staring I’m going to think you want to get the same treatment, Girl,” Lucifer growls.

Meg seems to snap out of wherever her mind took her. Blinking, she looks up at Lucifer and bows.

“I’m sorry, Master.”

She hesitates before she leaves, closing the door behind her, but not before she sends Dean one last look. And Dean sees on her face that she’s worried, and that she’ll probably give him hell once he gets out of here. If he gets out alive, that is.

Lucifer turns to Michael.

“So, you wanted to see me, Brother?”

Michael eyes Dean before he answers.

“Yes, I wanted to talk to you. Privately.”

“You can talk, Michael,” Lucifer smiles, his other foot coming off the ground and landing on the back of Dean’s neck, pushing him down. Dean’s face crashes to the floor, on the side where Lucifer hit him last time. He groans again and closes his eyes. “I can assure you he won’t say a thing.”

“Have you forgotten all the secrets he spilled, already? What tells you he won’t blab again once Gabriel gets him back?”

Lucifer laughs. “Who said Gabriel was going to get him back?”

“You did. You told Gabrie-“

“I lied,” Lucifer cuts his brother.

Dean can’t see shit, but he can feel his heart speed up as Lucifer’s foot pushes him down. He can barely breathe with his face pressed down on the wooden floor like this. He’s starting to see stars.

“Gabriel doesn’t deserve any favor, anymore. I won’t give this one back, whatever Gabriel promises to give me, or at least not until I break him completely.”

“Lucifer…”

“Now, Michael. Talk. I’m losing patience.”

There’s a moment of silence. Dean doesn’t know what’s happening. He only knows his head feels like it’s going to explode.

“I want you to give me my district back,” Michael finally says.

Lucifer snorts. “Why would I do that? You gave me power over it. You gave it up.”

“Only because I was grieving, Lucifer. I couldn’t find the strength to keep watching over it… You offered… I…” he sighs.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not how it works. Your district is mine, now, Michael. You dumped your responsibilities on me. You can’t take them back.”

“I know I can—“

“Have you forgotten what our deal was?” Lucifer’s voice is cold, and even in the state Dean’s in, blinded by pain and half unconscious by now, it chills him to the core.

“No, I just thought—“

“What? That I’d honor my part of the deal, and I’d forget about yours? This isn’t a debate. I’m keeping your district. And like I promised, I avenged you, I avenged Ana. I brought her murderer to justice. I brought him to you. And you want to take back what you freely gave me in exchange now that it’s done? Are you that ungrateful?”

Another silence. The tension is so thick Dean can almost feel it. The only sounds in the room are the little grunts Dean is making as he tries to wriggle out from under Lucifer. But the angel is too strong. So Dean stops fighting.

Finally, after a while, Michael speaks again, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m sorry.”

“Of course you are. But there’s nothing you can do. You chose your feelings over your duties. And now you’re paying the price of that choice.”

“I know. But Luci—“

“Is there anything else you wanted to ask me, brother?” Lucifer cuts him off.

The weight on Dean’s neck lifts off, and he can finally breathe again. He stays on the ground, though, trying not to attract attention on himself.

“No,” Michael answers.

It’s not just Dean, then. Lucifer uses everyone around him. Michael is probably as scared of Lucifer as Gabriel is. Nobody is going to save Dean. Nobody is going to take him away from here.

“Good. Then we’ll see each other another time.”

Michael stands up, sighing.

“Before I go, Gabriel wanted me to ask you if he could visit.”

Lucifer raises an eyebrow. “What for?”

Michael shrugs as he walks to the door.

“I think he wants to check on his slave.”

Gabriel wants to check on Dean. That’s rich. Dean is in no mood to laugh, though. A fierce headache is making its way into his brain. He’s not sure he’ll be able to stand up to get out of here.

The door opens on Meg, who enters the room and bows to Michael.

“Tell him I need to think about it. I’ll let him know what I decide,” Lucifer says, sitting back in his chair as he picks up his paper again.

Michael nods, and Meg leads him outside, closing the door behind them both. Dean is alone with Lucifer again. If his heart keeps beating that fast every time he’s near the angel he’s gonna get a heart attack very soon.

He tries not to move his head too much while he waits for Lucifer to do something. Punch him maybe, drag him around the room by his hair or something.

“You can go,” the angel says instead.

Dean just huffs. He’s surprised, but he’s in too much pain to protest. He’ll take what he can get.

Getting out of the room is a relief, but it also feels like a failure. He still wants to fight, but for now his head is pounding with heavy pain, and he still has to get through the day. He’ll think about something else.

~*~

“Wake up!”

Dean hums in annoyance, pushing away the hand that’s shaking him.

“Dean, wake up!” Meg whispers insistently.

Huffing, he opens his eyes. He can’t see shit. Means it’s really, really early in the morning. Or late, whatever.

“Wha’ time s’it?”

“Three thirty. Get your ass out of bed. Quick before we wake up the whole room.”

Three thirty? What the fuck does she want? His head is still pounding and he just wants to sleep. Forever.

“Fuck you,” he breathes.

He tries to turn his back on her but she pulls the covers away from his body.

“Come on!”

Reluctantly, he gets out of bed. He knows she won’t leave him alone until he does what she tells him. He follows her all the way to the shower room. She turns the light on when they get there, closing the door behind them. Once she’s done she turns to him and whistles, looking surprised.

Dean would scold at her if his face wasn’t all swollen on one side.

“What?”

“You look like someone glued two steaks to your face,” she says, holding back a laugh.

He doesn’t answer, looking around instead.

“You’re gonna tell me why you dragged me here in the middle of the night or what?”

“I figured you needed something good, and the only time we can get warm water is during the night. The other Asshole is the chief of staff so he gets priority in the morning. And he uses all the water. So we have twenty minutes of warm water to steal from him, you game?”

He laughs quietly, surprised. “Sure.”

“Awesome!”

“How do we do this? Ten minutes each?”

“Are you kidding? We have twenty minutes, Dean. I want to enjoy every single one of them. We’re going together.”

“Uh…” He feels a blush coming to his face. “You sure?”

“Come on, I’ve seen you naked plenty of times,” she smirks, pulling her dress over her head.

She’s completely naked under it. That’s a surprise. He hadn’t thought about that, but it’s true that Lucifer never gave him any underwear. He should have guessed she wouldn’t be allowed any either. He turns his gaze away.

“I’ve never seen you naked,” he says.

“There’s a first time for everything. Now come on, I want to sleep a bit before we go back to work,” she says, lifting his shirt up.

He can’t help but look down, and the blush intensifies.

“I can… do that myself.”

She shrugs and walks to the shower stall, turning the water on. He quickly takes his clothes off, trying not to think too much about the fact that he’s naked, with a woman, alone in a room. It hasn’t happened to him in a while.

She groans when she steps under the water.

“Shit, that’s good!”

She closes her eyes, throwing her head back. Dean can’t help but look at her body, his eyes getting stuck on her breast.

“Perv.”

He looks up, startled. She’s smiling.

“S’ okay, I know you probably haven’t seen a pair of these in a while.”

She wriggles her chest as she speaks. He laughs awkwardly.

“Yeah, sorry,” he answers, stepping under the water as well.

And God! It feels good.

“Shit!”

“I know, right?” Meg laughs, grabbing a bar of soap and rubbing it all over her arms and stomach.

She passes it to him and he does the same, scrubbing his skin thoroughly until he doesn’t feel like he’s covered in dirt anymore.

He hums, closing his eyes and letting water run on his face.

“We should do this more often,” he says, looking down again.

“Yeah, we should. You’re still tight all over, though.” She pokes him in the arm. “You need to relax, Dean, or you’re not going to last till the end of the year.”

He huffs, smiling down at her.

“I’m trying.”

“Well, try harder. What do you usually when you’re stressed?”

“Uh,” he bites on his lower lips, feeling awkward. “I find a way to… not be stressed anymore.”

She arches an eyebrow.

“So you jerk off, is that it?”

He laughs. “Yeah, that or I find the closest bar. But I can’t do either of those things here.”

She’s smirking again, all of a sudden. That doesn’t mean anything good.

“Yes, you could.”

“I know what you’re thinking, I’m not stealing any bottle of anything from Lucifer.”

She punches his shoulder.

“Not that, Moron. But I could help. With the other thing. You know.” She wriggles her eyebrows.

Suddenly he doesn’t know what to say. He stares at her, wide-eyes, and tries not to picture what she just proposed.

“Uh, Meg… I don’t think…” he stammers, “I… That’s nice of you to… I mean, you don’t have to, okay? It’s nice but you don’t have to force yourself to-“

“Who said I’d be forcing myself? Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

She gives him an appreciative once-over. He blushes.

“Come on, I didn’t think you’d be the shy type.”

“I’m not shy but it’s… it’s you. It’s weird.”

She snorts. “Gee, you could find another way to say you don’t want me. Thanks a lot, Asshole.”

Where should he put his hands? He’s so uncomfortable he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He decides to cross them in front of his crotch. At least it’ll hide the erection he feels coming.

“It’s not that… You’re hot, okay? It’s just that I know you. We’re friends. It feels weird.”

She sighs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“So you don’t want me to… give you a hand?”

He half-laughs. “It’s tempting but… I don’t know. That would be…”

“Weird?”

She took a step to him and now she’s standing so close their noses are almost touching. He nods.

“Okay, I really, really feel like it, so here’s the deal,” she starts, “I’m going to try it. I’m not going to blow you, ‘cause I don’t know where you’ve been…”

“Hey!”

“But I’m told I’m really good with my hands. So I’ll try. If it’s weird you just tell me and I’ll stop. Alright?”

Dean feels pleasantly warm thanks to the shower and it’s true he hasn’t had any contact with anyone in a while. He swallows.

“What about you?”

“We only have about ten minutes left so I’ll do you this time, and you’ll do me the next.”

At least she knows what she wants…

The hot water keeps sliding down his body, and he feels like his skin is suddenly aware of every drop making its way down. She opens her mouth again when she sees he’s not answering right away.

“You know they say orgasm releases dopamine which helps with some types of pain, especially with headaches…”

“You don’t need to give me the medical speech to convince me.“

“So you’re in?”

He huffs, looking down briefly. He feels his whole chest and face warm up as he looks up at her again.

“Yeah. Okay, yeah, I’m in,” he whispers.

“No kissing, though.”

“Alright.”

“Just a little handjob between friends. And just because I’ve been needing to get this out of my system ever since they first brought you here. We clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Good.”

She smiles up at him, resting her hands on his hips. She moves him until her back is resting against the tile and he’s facing her.

She draws little circles on his hips with her thumbs. “You’re nervous?”

“A bit,” he admits.

Last time he did something sexual with a girl he actually knew and liked, he wasn’t even legal.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” she mocks.

“Shut up…”

She drags the tip of her nails on his lower belly slowly, and he starts to feel little sparks of desire there. He takes a shaky breath through his nose when she finds a ticklish spot, at the junction of his hip and thigh. She goes down, on the top of his thighs, then up again until she reaches his navel. She doesn’t put her hands anywhere near where he wants them to be. He’s so hard he feels a bit light headed. That’s good. He hasn’t felt that way in a long while.

“For real, though. I promise you’ll like it,” she says, looking up into his eyes.

“I believe you,” he breathes.

She smirks and finally runs the back of her knuckles along his shaft.

“Still weird?”

Huffing at the sensation, he nods.

“Good weird or bad weird?”

“G- Good. Good weird. So far.”

As she wraps her hand around his dick, he feels the blush increasing on his cheeks, and he closes his mouth, his throat suddenly dry. His fists tighten on their own. His breathing quickens, following the rhythm of her hands as she starts stroking him slowly.

She raises an eyebrow, questioning. “Still weird?”

“Do you ever stop talking?”

She doesn’t answer, twisting her wrist instead, getting a moan out of him. He has to hold himself on the wall behind her, one hand on the tiles above her shoulder, the other on her hip.

“Shit, keep doing that!”

“Is that an order?”

His laugh is cut short when she squeezes harder and starts going faster. She keeps staring into his eyes, always smirking like she knows exactly how good she is and it’s the hottest thing Dean has seen in a long while. His brain goes blank, overwhelmed by pleasure, and he just leans forward, his forehead against the tile behind her. She’s trapped between him and the wall now but she just chuckles and her hand on his shaft goes faster, her thumb brushing the slit of his dick every time she goes up, spreading pre-come as she does. Shit, he’s going to come so hard he’s afraid he won’t be able to move to go back to bed. At least he’ll sleep like a baby.

He feels a bit bad about her doing all the work, though, and so he moves his hand down her body, slipping it between her legs. She’s soft there. It’s familiar and reassuring somehow.  

She’s a bit out of breath he hears. He guesses the position is not ideal for her, but that’s the only coherent thing he can think of right now. The pleasure is growing and he just grunts. He starts moving his hips, pushing into her fist. He can’t help it.

“Fuck, Dean, that’s hot,” she laughs.

Her other hand moves from his hip to the curve of his ass. She doesn’t push, doesn’t help him, she just… feels him move, he thinks. And yeah, that, right here, is hot as fuck, too. He doesn’t even know why, he can’t understand anything anymore because it’s really, really good. His hand moves faster between her legs as he buries his nose into her hair, rubbing back and forth between her clit and hole. A surprise huff of pleasure leaves her mouth and she squeezes his ass.

And oddly, that’s all it takes to make him come. He holds his breath as he feels his dick pulsing and his toes curl. She keeps stroking him, slowly, until he’s soft again.

Shit, he can’t move. That was awesome.

The water is lukewarm now, but his body is still too hot to be bothered by it. He keeps his head buried into Meg’s hair for a few seconds. She let go of his dick and is stroking his back gently, now. He realizes she’s completely stuck between him and the wall, her face into his chest. Shit, she’s so small. He hadn’t noticed how small she was compared to him before that.

He huffs. “Thanks,” he whispers.

She laughs again. “Stop thanking me every time I do something. This was totally selfish on my part. I‘ve been wanting to do that since I had to stitch your butt.”

He pushes himself away so she can breathe. The water is really getting cold, now.

“Sorry I couldn’t get you off in time.”

She arches an eyebrow, smiling. “That’s cool. It wasn’t in the deal, anyway. Save it for next time, alright?”

He huffs a little laugh, and keeps watching her as she washes the few drops of come off her stomach, and it occurs to him that it’s the weirdest thing he ever did, but at the same time it’s not. She’s a friend, he knows that. She’s hot, so he wouldn’t mind sleeping with her, and he fully intends on returning the favor, but he doesn’t feel anything else. It’s not awkward, it’s not shameful. It’s weird because it’s not weird.

When she’s done she looks up again.

“So, feeling better?”

He nods, snorting. “Yeah.”

“Good. Let’s get dry and go back to bed!”

She turns the water off and turns to him again, pushing him out of the stall. She’s smiling like she really enjoyed herself as well, and it makes Dean feel all happy inside. But suddenly her face falls when she looks behind Dean, toward the door. He hears her whisper ‘shit!’ and she falls to her knees, her head bowed.

His guts twist inside him before his brain fully catches up with what’s happening. His body turns around on its own, he’s not even thinking about it.

Lucifer is there, leaning on the doorway, his arms crossed above his chest and a little smug smile on his face. It looks like he’s been here for a while, and Dean’s heart fully stops. He can’t move. He doesn’t kneel, doesn’t even think about it because, shit, it’s bad. It’s really, really bad.

The angel chuckles and shakes his head, and it looks to Dean as if he’s thinking ‘ _I can’t believe that idiot gave me a reason to fuck with him_ ’. And that’s exactly what Dean is thinking, too.

When Lucifer is done laughing, his eyes find Dean’s, and his smile widens.

“I want you two in my room in ten minutes,” he says, straightening up.

Dean’s brain doesn’t registers that the angel leaves, not until a few seconds later, when Meg stands up again, and throws a towel at him.

“I’m so sorry, Dean,” she’s saying. “I shouldn’t have… shit! I’m sorry!”

She dries herself quickly, almost running to get her dress back. Dean hasn’t moved, yet. His heart is beating again, he doesn’t know when it happened. He’s still breathing. He’s shaking.

“Dean!”

He blinks, and starts drying himself as well. Meg keeps saying she’s sorry as he puts his clothes back on, and again as they’re fast-walking toward Lucifer’s bedroom. It’s starting to get on his nerves.

“I’m sorry I should’ve let you sleep, I don’t know what I was thinking--“

“S’okay,” he manages to get out through gritted teeth.

He’s not mad at her, not really, but there’s nothing they can do about it. What happened happened, there’s no going back, so being sorry isn’t going to help them.

“No, it’s not, I fucked up and I--“

“Yeah, well, it’s done. Please…” He takes a breath through his nose as they reach the bedroom’s door. He starts whispering. "Just stop, okay? We’re gonna be fine.”

She looks up at him, her wet hair clinging to her cheeks and neck, her eyebrows furrowed in fear and concern.

“No, we’re really not,” she breathes.

As if on cue, the door starts opening on its own, squeaking ominously. Looking away from Dean, she walks in, determined, and he has no choice but to follow.

*********

Lucifer is here, standing straight, hands behind his back, waiting.

“No,” he says, when he sees Meg starting to kneel.

She looks confused for a second, but she stands up again and takes the stance, looking down. Dean does the same.

“Look at me,” Lucifer goes on.

His voice is hard and cold, and Dean feels goose bumps run along his body. They both look up. The angel stares at them for a few seconds, for dramatic effect, Dean guesses, before he opens his mouth again.

“Take off your clothes,” he orders Meg.

Dean thinks she’s going to hesitate, or plead, but she doesn’t. She takes off her dress in one swift move, like she did in the shower room and lets it fall on the floor. She takes the stance again, this time completely naked.  

“On the bed.”

She’s shaking hard, Dean sees. But she does what she’s told, her face never giving away anything of what she actually feels. She climbs on the bed, settling on all fours, her ass turned toward them. Dean can’t look anymore. He can’t see her like that. He doesn’t want to see what’s going to happen next. He doesn’t want to see Lucifer mount her like she’s a fucking dog just to punish Dean. He can’t help but imagine it, though. He wants to throw up.

“Your turn,” Lucifer says, looking at Dean. “Clothes. Off.”

Dean blinks, not understanding what the angel wants. He takes off his shirt, mechanically, pushes his pants down and steps out of them. He’s still a bit foggy with sleep and the aftermath of an orgasm and his brain has trouble grasping everything fully.

Once naked, he waits. He doesn’t know what Lucifer wants. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He wants it to be over, he wants to go back to bed. Or go back to work, even. Anything but this.

“Come on,” the angel tells him, looking unimpressed.

Dean doesn’t know what he wants.

“Do it. Fuck her. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”

And Dean’s heart is suddenly beating in his throat. He looks at Meg again, avoiding her lower body. He wishes he could see her face, see what she’s thinking. He turns back to Lucifer.

“I—“

“I’m not saying it twice, Boy.”

Dean has no choice, then. It can’t be that terrible. They both want each other. He can do this quick and be done in five minutes and they just won’t talk about it ever again and Lucifer will leave them alone. Right.

He steps toward Meg, slowly, almost shy. He can’t look down. He hesitates, putting his hand on her hip. Should he stand on his knees or…

“Master?”

Dean sighs in relief when he hears Meg’s voice. She’s going to say she can’t go through with all this. She’s going to save them. Lucifer tsks in annoyance.

“Speak. Quick. I don’t have all night.”

“Can we… I’m sorry, Master, can we have some protection?”

Dean feels like he’s been struck by lightning. This can’t be happening. Lucifer rolls his eyes but something appears in his hand and he throws it at Dean, who catches it, more out of reflex than anything else. And yes, it’s a condom. Fuck. He can’t believe she thought about that. He can’t believe she asked.

He looks down at the rubber inside its plastic wrapping and his hearts starts hammering frantically against his chest.

Shit, he can’t do this. He can’t let a fucking angel turn him into a… a rapist. He won’t allow it. He can’t do this to Meg, even if he knows she wants him, he also knows she never asked for this. And Lucifer wouldn’t let them enjoy it anyway, he’s sure of it. He steps away. His own body is betraying him, though. He’s half hard again. He doesn’t even want her right now. Not in this situation, not like this. But his brain is confused, apparently. Maybe it’s the fear. Fuck.

“I can’t,” he says, avoiding Lucifer’s gaze.

Finally, Meg turns to look at him. There’s no emotion on her face, but her eyes are wet.

“Tell him, Girl,” the angel says.

“Dean.”

He hears the plea in her voice. He swallows, his mouth dry again. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth. He feels paralyzed.

“Please. I want it,” she goes on. He sees she’s lying. “It’s okay, come on.”

He shakes his head ‘no’, he can’t do anything else. He feels like he’s five again.

“Dean!”

And this time there’s a bit of anger, there. She probably wants to get this over with as fast as possible. But he can’t, he can’t do it. He can’t do that in front of someone. Despite everything Gabriel made him do, he can’t rape her in front of Lucifer. He just won’t.

He looks at Lucifer again, and does the only thing he capable of when he’s scared. He raises his chin up, throws the condom at Lucifer’s feet.

“I said no.”

He sees Meg shifts slightly in the corner of his eye. “Dean, don’t—“

“Fuck you,” he adds, just for good measure, spitting the words at the angel.

Lucifer arches an eyebrow. “Fine.”

And he starts undoing his belt, walking toward Meg. No. No, no, no, this isn’t what Dean meant. Fuck. He can’t let that happen either.

“Wait!”

But Lucifer keeps going, taking his time to unbutton his pants. Meg bows her head, trembling. Panic swells inside Dean’s chest. Fuck. Fuck, he needs to do something. It’s his fault, he’s so fucking selfish sometimes. Shit!

“Please, I’m sorry, I’ll do it. Please don’t—“

“Too late,” the angel answers casually as he forcefully grabs Meg’s ass. “I haven’t done this in centuries,” Lucifer tells her, bending over her. “I hope you’re proud of being the first since the Dark Ages,” he whispers in her ear.

“Yes, Master,” Meg says, her voice shaking.

God, she’s on the verge of tears. Shit.

Finally, Lucifer’s hand slips into his underwear, and he’s about to push them down or get his dick out and Dean can’t see that. He can’t let it happen.

“Please, stop, I’ll do anything you want,” he blurts out.

Lucifer freezes, and he turns to Dean.

“I’ll be good, I promise,” Dean goes on, desperate. “Please don’t do that to her, it’s my fault. It’s me. I’ll do anything.”

He doesn’t even know what he’s saying anymore. He just doesn’t want to make Meg miserable. He’s still remembers what she told him. ‘ _Now I’m happy because I don’t have to use my ass to stay alive_ ’. Fuck, he feels so guilty…

“Dean, shut your fucking mouth,” Meg breathes.

She doesn’t know what she’s saying. He won’t allow her to do this for him. He keeps staring at Lucifer.

“Please, Master.”

Lucifer straightens up, one hand still on Meg’s ass.

“Anything?”

“No!” Meg exclaims.

Dean ignores her. “Anything.”

Relief washes over him when he sees Lucifer step away from Meg. The angel bends down, picking up Meg’s dress and throws it at her.

“Get dressed, and get out of here.”

Sliding off the bed, she pulls the dress over her head, following Lucifer.

“Please, Master,” she says, looking at the floor. “I’m the one who woke Dean up, please. He didn’t know.“

“Get out!”

“Please, let him go, I convinced him to touch me but he didn’t even want—“

Lucifer backhands her, cutting her off. He probably didn’t strike as hard as he does when he hits Dean, because she just sways on her feet a little but doesn’t fall.

“You’re making things worse for him, Girl. I said, get out.”

The angel isn’t in a rage, he’s not yelling, but the cold calmness in his tone is worse than anything. Meg seems to think the same thing. She bows quickly and almost runs to the door, not turning once to look at Dean.

And Dean finds himself standing naked in front of Lucifer, alone with the angel. He said ‘anything’. Sometimes he’s such a moron… But he knows he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he’d let Lucifer do what he was going to do. So, yeah. He’s a moron. But an honest one, at least.

“On the bed.”

Same thing he said to Meg. Dean said ‘anything’. He knows he did. Anything but… this. He looks to the bed, then the angel again, hesitating.

“You offered to take her place, remember? Now go before I put you there myself.”

Dean can’t believe he’s doing this, but he slowly walks toward the bed. As soon as he takes a step, it’s like he got out of his body. He’s floating. Nothing’s real. He’s a bit relieved to be feeling this way. It’ll make things easier.

He crawls on the bed, and takes the same position Meg took. He closes his eyes. If he can’t see anything then it’s only half real. Maybe he can imagine it’s Gabriel. Back when Gabriel actually liked him, and Dean liked him back instead of resenting him.  

“Not like this. On your back. I want to look at you.”

Lucifer’s voice is closer than Dean expected. He jumps when he hears it.

He still turns around, though, and lies on his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Look at me.”

Fuck, the floating feeling is slipping away. Dean looks down at the angel. Lucifer forcefully spreads his legs and climbs on the bed between them, his hands on each side of Dean’s head. Dean swallows. Fuck, he can’t do this. He needs to, but he can’t. He doesn’t know what to do.

“I don’t indulge in the pleasures of the flesh often,” Lucifer says, smirking down at him. “I find it somewhat… disgusting. But it’s oddly pleasurable. So sometimes…” he trails off, running his hand along Dean’s side until he reaches his thigh. Dean starts shaking again, his heart pumping so hard it feels like it’s going to burst.

He lets out a breath when he feels the angel’s hand slide between his legs.

“I’m going to give you a choice,” Lucifer says, taking his hand away. “Either you fight me, and it’s going to be really, really painful for you. Or…” he holds up his arm and, suddenly, there’s a bottle of lube in his hand. Dean wants to throw up. “You behave, and I’ll make it easy for you. You understand?”

Dean nods, automatically. He doesn’t want it to happen either way, but he needs to think about Meg. It’s him or her, and he won’t let it be her. Not again, after everything she went through. He can take this. Just this once. He can do it.

“What’s it going to be?”

Dean tightens his fists, trying to stop his body from shaking so hard.

“I’ll behave.” He tries to relax a bit. It’s gonna hurt more if he’s all tense. “Master.”

Lucifer seems satisfied, and he sits back on his heels, opening the bottle of lube. Dean takes advantage before things go further and takes a few breaths, trying to calm down his heart at least.

The lube makes an obscene noise as it comes out of the bottle, and Dean has to close his eyes for a second. God. He understands why Gabe always made it appear directly from the bottle on his fingers. He feels his cheeks getting hot but he opens his eyes again. His headache is back full force, his whole face feels like it’s throbbing with pain.

Lucifer can’t go through with this. He’s just screwing with Dean. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. The angel is going to pretend until Dean shits himself. He has to. Dean almost expects him to yell ‘fooled ya!’ and send him back to bed.

But there’s a hand between his thighs and Lucifer is smirking down at him and, shit, he can’t do this. He grits his teeth and tries to push himself away but Lucifer holds him back, a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Ah, ah, ah! What did we say?”

Dean wants to scream for help. He can’t do this.

“Let me go, I’ll do anything you want but not this, I can’t—“

The angel’s hand on his shoulder shoots up to his mouth and cuts him off.

“Last chance,” the angel spits, suddenly angry, “will you behave or will I have to force you?”

Dean shakes his head ‘no’. And anyway, his body is not going to open up if he doesn’t want it to, right? Lucifer can’t force him. Gabriel had to work him open for a long time every time they did something even though Dean was completely okay with everything that was happening, so surely Lucifer is going to give up and just beat his ass or something if he keeps saying no. The angel has to. He has to.

Please, God, he has to stop.

“Fine, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Lucifer finally sighs.

He keeps his hand on Dean’s mouth, his elbow digging into Dean’s shoulder and reaches down with his other hand. Dean only hears the sound the angel’s belt makes as he pushes his pants down. His heart is going to burst. It seems to be beating into his whole body, pumping blood so hard it makes Dean’s muscles ache.

Dean feels panic settle into him, sudden and overwhelming.

It can’t be happening. Dean’s dreaming, that’s it. It can’t be real, there’s not a hand sliding between Dean’s legs again, no knees pushing his thighs apart with such inhuman strength he can’t do anything about it. Lucifer is definitely not slicking himself up. Dean is not even looking anyway. He can’t move his head, but he can still look away. It’s not real. No warm flesh against his hole. Not happening.

He keeps telling himself it’s not real as the first tears escape him, a few seconds before he feels like he’s being torn apart from the inside. Not real. As he screams his lungs out, his cries muffled by Lucifer’s hand on his mouth, bursts of heat surging to his brain through the panic and the most horrible pain he’s ever felt in his whole life. Not real, as it keeps happening while he’s pinned to the bed, unable to move, almost unable to breathe because the angel is still holding his mouth shut and he’s getting less and less careful as he chases his pleasure.

Not real. It’s not real. He wishes he would faint, already. He feels on the verge of unconsciousness. But it never comes. The whole ordeal ends, and he can’t tell himself anything anymore.

It’s real. It’s real, and it’s done. Dean cries, and the pain in his heart is as real as the pain in his body.

 

 


	15. Nobody's fault but mine

# CHAPTER 15 : Nobody’s fault but mine

 

Dean stops caring.

He doesn’t care that Lucifer attached a sort of leash to his collar and tied the other end to the bed post. He doesn’t care that the leash is so short Dean has to sit on the floor if doesn’t want to strain his neck. He doesn’t care that Lucifer called him a good bitch after he was done with him. He doesn’t care about anything. He just wants… not to die, but he wants to stop existing. He feels empty and exhausted. He can’t fight anymore.

No. That’s not true. It’s not that he can’t. He doesn’t _want_ to fight anymore. He doesn’t care.

He doesn’t even look up when the staff door on the other side of the room opens. He keeps his eyes closed. If he can’t see anything, then nothing is real, and he doesn’t have to care. He doesn’t react when he hears it’s Meg, doesn’t listen to what she’s saying. Not until she’s close to him, kneeling in front of him, and he has no choice but to hear her words.

“You’re fucking stupid, you know that?” she whispers, her voice shaking. “You and your damn hero complex…”

She sniffs. It makes him open his eyes and look at her. Her eyes are red. Maybe he cares a bit about that.

“I brought you something,” she adds, sliding her water skin from under her dress.

She hands it to him. Staring at it for a second, he sighs, but doesn’t reach for it. He’s thirsty, but he doesn’t want to drink. What’s the point, anyway? He looks away.

“Come on, Dean, don’t… don’t be like that…”

“Like what?” He can’t even find the strength to be angry. “Like I’m literally on a leash, or like I just got raped for the first time? You think I should just look for something good to hold on to, right?”

His throat is dry, his voice barely a rasp, but he still doesn’t make a move to grab the water skin. She holds it up in front of his face anyway.

“I know how it feels… I know, the first time it’s…” she trails off, putting the water skin on her knees.

“Just go,” Dean breathes.

He can’t do this, he can’t talk to her because he’s starting to feel angry at her for letting him go through this, even though he doesn’t want to be. He did that for her, he brought this on himself, but still he’s mad at her. He doesn’t get it, and he feels tears coming to his eyes because he doesn’t feel like himself anymore.

He doesn’t want her to see him like that. At least he was able to put his clothes back on. That way she can’t see the dry blood on the back of his thighs.

“Please, don’t shut yourself off.”

Looking away, he feels her hand running through his hair. Shit, won’t she get the hint already? He just wants to be alone. He can’t face anybody. He just needs to hide because he’s so ashamed he doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away. He’ll have to carry it with him for the rest of his miserable life.

Tears make his eyes sting, and after a blink or two they start falling on his cheeks. He wipes them away with the back of his hand. Meg takes his free hand in hers.

“I know it feels like nothing will ever be good again,” she says, rubbing her thumb on his palm, her voice still shaking slightly, “but after a while it gets better, I promise.”

He doesn’t react. He doesn’t care. It’s easier not to care. She takes a breath, like she wants to say something else, but the bedroom door opens and Lucifer comes in. He frowns when he sees Meg.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry, Master,” she just says.

She keeps rubbing her thumb on Dean’s hand, and she doesn’t move.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you near him again,” Lucifer spits. “Get out of here!”

Squeezing Dean’s hand, she gets up and lets go of him. She bows to Lucifer and leaves, using the staff door. Closing the door, Lucifer walks up to Dean. Dean doesn’t look up. He keeps staring at his hand, where he can still feel Meg’s touch if he focuses long enough.

~*~

Meg lied. It’s doesn’t get better. Not after the second time. Not after the third, or the fourth. Not even after Dean stops counting.

~*~

Sam stumbles out of the bar, a bottle of beer still in hand, and his file with everything he could find on Ruby in the other. He’s drunk, alright. Not too much, though. He’s just… good, for now. He’s less pissed than he was when he first stepped into the bar, that’s for sure.

He knew it was likely, but when he found out ‘Flanigan’ wasn’t Ruby’s real name it made him angry. If he wants to help Dean, then he needs her. He needs to show the Archangels Dean never did anything against them. He’s not sure it’ll make them release Dean, but at least it would lift one of the charges against him. And then they can focus on the angels murders again, and he can clear Dean’s name once and for all. But Ruby eludes him. Every time he thinks he’s one step closer to finding her, it appears the lead he’s found is long cold. And so tonight he drank as much as he felt capable of. That’s what Dean usually does. That’s what he does, too, now. If it works for his brother, then it should work for him, right?

By the time he reaches his car, he knows he’s in no state to drive. He sighs. He should maybe sleep it off in the back seat. Or he could walk to the motel. It’s not that far. Probably a good hour and a half on foot and in his state but… it’ll probably do him some good. It’ll allow him to breathe some fresh air, and he can come fetch the car in the morning.

He’s contemplating that option when a hand lands on his shoulder. His reflexes kick in before his brain can catch up with what’s happening and in a second he’s pushing someone on the floor, one knee on the ground and the other on the man’s chest. The half empty bottle of beer he was holding crashes to the floor, papers flying around Sam’s head for a moment before everything freezes again as he takes a look at his assailant.

“Samuel Winchester…” the guy wheezes.

Taken aback, Sam stops himself before he starts punching the guy in the face. He squints, trying to recognize the man under him. When he does, he can’t believe it. He’s been very attentive of everything happening at the Archangel Gabriel’s mansion. He clearly remembers having read an obituary with that particular guy’s name on it.

“Castiel?!”

The man nods, relief evident all over his face.

Sam may be drunk, but he’s no fool. He takes an angel blade out of his inner coat pocket and sticks the end under the angel’s throat. Castiel sighs.

“I’m in no state to fight. And I swear I don’t want to, anyway.”

Suspicious, Sam doesn’t move, trying to ascertain the situation. In the dim light of the few street lamps scattered around them, Sam can only make out the angel’s face. He looks pale and sick. Like someone who hasn’t slept in days. He’s slightly sweating and now that Sam sobered up a little, he can hear he has trouble breathing.

“Why should I believe you? You’re supposed to be dead.”

Castiel huffs. He’s clearly tired, almost on the verge of tears. That’s weird.

“Obviously, I’m not. And you shouldn’t. But I’m human now.” He holds up one of his arm, eyeing the angel blade. “You can check.”

Sam hesitates, but he brings the blade down, rolling Castiel shirt’s sleeve up and slices his arm. There’s not light, no grace leaking out. Just blood. He can’t believe it.

He stands up, holding out his hand to help the angel up. Grateful, Castiel takes his hand and pulls himself up.

“Thank you,” he breathes, brushing away bits of dust on his pants.

Sam can’t help but take a cautionary step away from him. It’s not because Castiel is supposedly human now that it means he’s necessarily friendly.

“So, why are you here? What happened to you?”

Castiel looks around, as if he was chased after. It wouldn’t be a surprise to Sam if he actually was.

“I was looking for you, Samuel.”

“Sam. Samuel is my grandfather.”

Castiel looks toward him again, squinting at him for a couple of seconds.

“Sam,” he says, testing the nickname. “I need your help. And as to what happened, I—“

He stops, suddenly, and sways on his feet a little. Sam holds his arms out in case the angel starts falling or something. What is happening?

“Woah, you okay?”

Castiel blinks. “I’m…” He looks somewhere behind Sam, seemingly absorbed by what he sees.

Sam looks behind his shoulder but they’re alone. He can just make out two guys standing outside the bar, nothing wrong. When he turns to Castiel again, the angel looks visibly paler.

“It appears I’m about to faint,” he states.

“What?! Wait! No you can’t--”

But Castiel closes his eyes and falls into Sam’s arms.

Okay. He’s not sober enough for this. Fuck. He doesn’t know what to do. Castiel is a dead weight in his arms, and even if the scare he just had helped him see things a little bit clearer, Sam’s still pretty smashed.

He shakes the angel. “Come on!!”

Castiel doesn’t move. Shit. Looking around, Sam sighs. Looks like he’s gonna have to take the car after all…

~*~

Gabriel can’t believe it took so much time, but Lucifer finally caved in and allowed him to visit. He’s still not sure he’ll be able to see Dean, but at least it’s a start.

He’s nervous when he first steps into Lucifer’s mansion. A girl comes to lead him to his brother, bowing as she comes toward him, but something about her makes him curious. From time to time she glances toward him as she walks in front of him, and he has the clear impression she’s giving him the stink eye.

He can’t help but arch an eyebrow at her, slightly amused as she looks over her shoulder for the umpteenth time.

“Is something wrong?”

She stops in front of a door, looks at him from head to toe and _huffs_.

“I’ll let you see for yourself,” she answers, stepping aside. “ _Master_.”

Hearing the resentment and anger in her voice, he can’t help but frown, anxiety coming back. All of a sudden he’s not so keen on finding out what’s on the other side of that door.

Without another word, she opens the door, lets him in and leaves. Lucifer is there, already walking to him, his arms wide open in welcoming invitation.

“Ah! Brother! I’m glad you could join me!”

Gabriel is a bit taken aback. He hasn’t seen Lucifer in such a happy mood in a very long while. Trying not to show his discomfort, he lets himself be guided to one of the couches in the cozy room. He’s never been in this one before, although it looks like the other reception rooms he’s been in once or twice. The only difference he can notice is that there’s no chair, armchair or anything of the sort around, just some little couches that look more like those little beds romans used when they wanted to settle down to eat. It’s… very unlike Lucifer.

Gabriel clears his throat, looking up at his brother who remained standing.

“Well, I’m… happy you agreed to see me. I hope everything’s fine. I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

It took a month between the day Michael told Gabriel he had relayed his request to Lucifer and the moment he finally received a positive answer. That’s suspicious, to say the least, especially when Lucifer was the one visiting Gabriel almost daily after the whole debacle with Dean’s escape.

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I needed some time to take care of your little… problem,” he smiles.

Gabriel realized in that moment that it was because of Dean, that's the little project that had Lucifer so occupied he didn't come to visit anymore.  Knowing that, now, leaves him a bit cold. He tries to smile back at Lucifer.

“So you’re… done, then?”

“Almost. He still needs a bit of guidance. He’s never been properly educated, but I’m confident that in a few weeks he’ll be the perfect slave. Good as new!”

This time Gabriel’s smile is genuine and relieved.

“When will I be able to take him back home, then?”

A look of fake surprise crosses Lucifer’s features before he chuckles.

“Take him back home? Gabriel…” he finally sits on the couch in front of the one Gabriel is sitting in, “you can’t take him back! I’m having too much fun!”

His smile turns shark-like and all Gabriel is left feeling is uneasiness.

“Then why am I here?”

“You wound me, Brother. I thought you wanted to see me.”

He knows that Gabriel knows he’s screwing with him. And he also knows Gabriel can’t do anything about it.

“I do, but… I want to know how Dean’s doing. I know you’re a bit harsh with your slaves.”

Lucifer laughs. “Harsh? They’re just humans. There’re billions of them on the planet. That’s what they’re here for, to serve us. I don’t know why I should pamper them. And I don’t understand why you do. Maybe it’s another one of your fetishes?”

Gabriel looks down.

“Can we just agree to disagree for now?” He looks up again, sighing. “I don’t want to fight, today.”

“I don’t, either. Actually I have a surprise for you.”

Raising his eyebrows, Gabriel gives his brother a questioning look.

“A surprise?”

This doesn’t mean anything good, Gabriel knows that. He’s a bit sad to admit it, but he’s starting to mistrust Lucifer. He doesn’t like the feeling.

Lucifer stands up, holding his hands behind his back, an almost goofy smile on his face. Gabriel’s stomach seems to drop.

“Girl,” Lucifer calls, “bring him in!”

The door opens right away. He probably planned this all along. Gabriel stops breathing when he sees the slave girl from earlier walking in with Dean in tow. On a leash.

The girl brings Dean in between the two couches, and Dean kneels, his eyes firmly locked on the floor in front of him. His clothes are dirty, he has some fading bruises on his face, and what looks like choking marks on his neck, visible under a black collar that seems to be attached way too tightly.

Gabriel freezes, forgets to act like a living creature for a second.

“What do you think?”

He blinks, Lucifer’s voice bringing him back to life. He can’t speak, he can’t look away either. Dean is… not Dean. He looks like Dean but that’s it, there’s nothing left of him and the realization hits Gabriel so hard he feels dizzy for a second.

“Impressive, isn’t it,” Lucifer goes on as he walks behind Dean, taking a handful of his hair and pulling his head back.

Dean lets him do it, he doesn’t resist, his eyes empty of emotion, looking at some random spot on the ceiling. He’s like a puppet, letting Lucifer pull his strings. It makes Gabriel sick. That’s not what he thought would happen when he agreed to let his brother take care of Dean’s education…

But he can’t help but think that he actually knew what to expect, because he knew how Lucifer behaves with his slaves. He should have thought about it. He let Dean go knowing the worst things were going to happen to him and he just ignored it, because he didn’t want to think about it. Because he didn’t want to be bothered.

Heavens, what did he do?

Lucifer lets go of Dean’s hair and pats Gabriel on the shoulder.

“I know why you wanted to see him, Brother,” Lucifer smirks, knowingly. “I don’t usually lend my things but… I know you’ve been waiting a long time, so I’m willing to make an exception for you.”

This troubles Gabriel enough that he finally manages to tear his eyes away from Dean for a second to look up at his brother.

“What?”

“Come on, Boy,” Lucifer urges Dean, “show him!”

Dean stands up, keeping his hands behind his back, his movements mechanical and precise like he did this all his life, and Gabriel’s heart misses a beat when he starts taking his shirt off.

“Wait, I—“

But Dean is already stepping out of his pants, and Lucifer interrupts Gabriel.

“Present.”

Dean climbs on the couch in front of Gabriel, completely naked, and he settles on all four, his head bowed. Gabriel can’t believe what he’s seeing. Dean isn’t even blushing. What did Lucifer do to him to make him act like this?

“I prepared him for you,” Lucifer grins.

And Gabriel sees what he means when Lucifer pats Dean’s ass and he sees the handle of a plug coming out of him. He understands what Lucifer did, then.

He realizes his mouth is hanging open, and he closes it, swallowing hard. He needs to talk to Dean. Alone.

“Thank you,” he breathes, looking up at his brother. “That’s… very thoughtful of you.”

Lucifer bows his head, a hand on his heart. “You’re welcome. I hope you appreciate the gesture.”

“Yes, I do…”

He can’t look away from Dean’s face, and the more time passes, the more he wants to pull him away from that couch and cover his body so Lucifer will stop looking at him like he’s hungry for him.

“I’ll leave you to it, then. Don’t worry, I won’t interrupt. You can take all the time you need.”

Gabriel just nods, standing up slowly. As soon as Lucifer has closed the door, he turns to Dean again, his hands hovering over him, unsure of what to do first. He wants that plug gone, for one thing, but he doesn’t dare touch it. His state of mind is so far from anything sexual he just feels like throwing up at the idea he’ll have to take it out himself. But he has to. He can’t ask Dean to do it.

Heavens, Dean looks so different. He’s pale, looking sick. He’s lost weight and now Gabriel can see bones in places there were only muscles before. His back is covered in ugly scars, there are bruises on his wrists and thighs. It’s a wonder he can still walk on his own.

He’s been standing in front of Dean for what seemed an eternity, wondering what to do when he hears someone clear their throat somewhere near the door. He almost jumps, and turns to look, surprised. It’s the slave girl. She’s still here, kneeling near the door.

“Do you need a hand, Master?”

She’s staring at him so insistently he’s pretty sure she’s trying to tell him something. She also seems to be avoiding looking at Dean. It probably makes her as uncomfortable as he is.

He can’t do this in front of an audience…

“Why are you still here?”

She bows her head. “Master Lucifer asked me to stay. I’m here to observe and report, Master.”

“Report?”

She looks up again, and her mouth twitches.

“He thinks you won’t touch Dean. He said I should tell him what happened, and everything you’re going to say to him.” Her eyes quickly glance to Dean and come back to Gabriel. “If you order me to lie, though, I could tell Master Lucifer anything you want. He didn’t order. He just said I should. So if you give me an order, I’ll have to follow it.”

She stares at him, her mouth pinched in a thin line, waiting. He stares back, lost. He doesn’t know if he can trust her. He doesn’t know what she is to Dean, he can’t just—

“Are you going to leave him like this all night?”

She raises her chin toward Dean. He blinks, straightens up, and looks down at Dean again. Dean, naked, on all fours in front of him. His skin is covered in goose bumps. Gabriel lets his vessel feel the temperature in the room for a second, and realizes it’s cold. Really, really cold.

“No, I just…” he gestures toward Dean, to the lower half of his body, “I just can’t…” he huffs, frustrated.

He can’t believe he’s unable to answer her question. She’s just a slave, he shouldn’t act like this in front of her. But this is just too much. She stands up and walks to them, finally looking down at Dean when she gets close.

“Do you want me to do it?”

It’s painful for her to ask, he can see that, but he’s grateful.

He sighs. “Yes, please. I just can’t…”

“I get it,” she says.

She puts her hand on Dean’s back, between his shoulder blades, and bends over so she can talk to him.

“It’s going to be pretty uncomfortable for the both of us but I’m gonna remove that thing from your butt, okay?” Dean doesn’t move, doesn’t nod, doesn’t show that he heard her. “This is strictly professional, though. Just… try to imagine you’re seeing a doctor or something…” she straightens up, her hand sliding down until she reaches the back of his thigh. “Which wouldn’t be far from the truth, considering all the times I had to stitch you up.”

She smiles to his back, a forced smile that Dean doesn’t see. Gabriel has the feeling this isn’t the first time she’s been trying to get Dean to react. When he doesn’t, her smile drops, and she sighs.

“Okay, here we go.” She clears her throat, puts one hand on Dean’s lower back while the other stays on the back of his thigh. “Try to relax.”

Gabriel can’t watch as she takes it out. Dean huffs slightly at some point, the only reaction he shows, and soon she’s done.

“There,” she says, handing Gabriel the plug.

Taking it, and he doesn’t even know why he does, he steps away a little and tries to see if Dean is going to do something. Say something, maybe. But nothing happens.

“Dean, please… just… get down from that couch and put your clothes back on. I’m not going to…”

The plug is still in his hand, and he looks at it while Dean does what he’s told. There’s blood on it. If Gabriel was human he would have already thrown up.

Once dressed, Dean kneels at Gabriel’s feet. He keeps his eyes on the ground. It’s getting on Gabriel’s nerves.

“Don’t…” he realizes he’s waving the plug around so he throws it on the floor. It rolls away. “Just sit here,” he tells Dean, indicating the couch in front of him.

Dean does, still looking at his feet, and Gabriel sits in front of him. The girl stays standing, awkwardly shuffling from one foot to the other. She’s not going to leave, Gabriel knows that, so the least he can do is make her comfortable.

“What’s your name?”

She looks surprised, and more than suspicious, but she straightens up and puts her hands behind her back, taking the stance.

“Meg, Master.”

“Meg. Megan?”

Her mouth twists in displeasure. “Just Meg.”

“Okay, Meg. Please sit, you’re making me nervous.”

She raises an eyebrow but she slowly relaxes. She gives Dean a look, then sits next to him as close as she can, almost shyly.

Gabriel takes a breath, running a hand through his hair. He can’t wrap his head around this. He still feels… negatively toward Dean. But this… he wouldn’t wish this on his worst enemy. The punishment had been given, he doesn’t understand what Lucifer is trying to do. He just thought Dean would work here, that it would be a bit harder than it was under himself. Lucifer never lays with humans, he did once or twice, to try, always with women when he had a male vessels, and with men the one time he tried on a female one, because he said it was more convenient that way. He doesn’t understand why his brother would do this.

“Dean…” he tries. Because now he needs to focus on him. He’ll have time to think about Lucifer later. “I’m…”

He’s what? He doesn’t know what to say. Meg snorts, crossing her arms over her chest, one leg over the other. He glares at her.

“What?”

“Nothin’,” she answers, looking at Dean. “But please, do try to say you’re sorry. Maybe it’ll bring him back to life to smack some sense into you.”

Gabriel blinks at her. Did she just… ?

“Careful how you speak to me. I may be more indulgent than my brother but I’m not your friend.”

“Yeah, Dean told me all about you. Don’t worry. I know how you work. Don’t think I wouldn’t—“

She stops mid-sentence, her eyes wide as she looks down. Dean’s hand is on her knee. Gabriel hasn’t seen him move. Looking up to Dean, Meg puts her hand on his.

“Sorry,” she breathes.

Dean is still looking away, but judging from Meg’s reaction Gabriel deduces that he hasn’t shown her any sign of acknowledgment in a long while. She looks up to Gabriel again, her eyes shining.

“I guess that means he doesn’t want us to fight.”

Gabriel nods. He feels like a stranger, here. Like he’s intruding. The way she looks at him…

“Does he ever talk to you?”

She shakes her head. “He stopped talking a couple weeks ago. And before that… he couldn’t even look me in the eyes after the first time the Master…” She trails off, turning to Gabriel again. And this time there’s anger in her eyes. “But I guess you knew that when you sent Dean off.”

Talking about him like he’s not in the room when he’s sitting in front of Gabriel feels wrong, and so Gabriel tries to talk to Dean directly.

“I didn’t. I didn’t know, Dean.” He waits a few seconds, but when Dean keeps looking down he can’t help but feel a surge of impatience. “Look at me!”

Slowly, Dean looks up, straight into Gabriel’s eyes. It Takes Gabriel’s breath away. Dean’s eyes are empty. There’s nothing there to see, although Gabriel was expecting hate, or maybe rage.

He clears his throat.

“I’ll take you home, I promise.”

“I think he’s trying to tell you to go fuck yourself,” Meg comes in, looking at Dean.

Gabriel sighs, and he turns to her.

“I know he must be angry at me. And I’m equally mad at him. That doesn’t mean I approve of what’s happening here.”

Meg huffs. “You’re mad at him? For what? An interview he never gave?”

“Is that what he told you?”

“Yes.”

“And you believe him?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I know he wouldn’t lie about that.”

Gabriel arches an eyebrow, mocking. “You seem so sure of yourself…”

“Yeah, I am. Because you know what? He told me all about his time with you. He told me how hard it was for him to leave you because he actually liked y—“

She looks down again, cut short in the middle of her sentence, then up at Dean.

“Dude, you’re hurting me,” she tells him.

Gabriel sees that Dean is squeezing her thigh so hard his knuckles are white.

“Okay, I’ll shut up. God, you’re such a baby sometimes…” Dean’s hand relaxes. Meg turns to Gabriel again. “Men…” she scoffs.

Dean eyes are still on Gabriel. Looking for an emotion, something that would give away what Dean is thinking, Gabriel stares back. But he finds nothing. He tries to ignore what Meg just tried to tell him. He doesn’t want to believe it’s true.

An awkward silence falls on them, and after a while he sighs.

“Well, if we’re going to pretend I’m… using the time Lucifer gave me, I need to stay here a while longer,” he tells Meg. She raises an eyebrow at him. “This is going to be very boring if we don’t find something to do, though.”

She looks at Dean. “What do you think? Should we play poker?”

“That’s not what I meant…”

She turns to Gabriel again, looking at him like he’s stupid. “I know. It was a joke.”

Gabriel blinks.

“Just… tell me what happened since Dean got here, okay?”

“I’m not sure he’ll let me,” she says, patting Dean on the shoulder.

“Just… try. We’ll avoid the stories he doesn’t like.”

~*~

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Gabriel closes his eyes.

“This is just…” he can’t finish his sentence.

“I know,” Meg whispers.

They both stare at Dean who’s gone back to looking at the floor like it holds the answers to all the mysteries of the universe.

Gabriel sighs again, feeling exhausted.

“I think I can go, now. Dean?”

Dean looks up, and Gabriel reaches for his forehead with two fingers.

“Don’t!!” Meg interrupt, suddenly panicked.

Gabriel freezes, his arm raised, and gives her a questioning look.

“If you heal him, Master Lucifer won’t be happy.”

“I’m not going to heal him. But if I leave him like this Lucifer will never believe I…” he stops, looking for words. “Dean would still be as filthy as he was when he first came in but there would be, uh… no bodily fluids. You see? I just want to clean his skin.”

“Oh,” Meg shuffles on her seat. “Okay.”

She lets Gabriel do what he has to. Dean still doesn’t move. It’s really unnerving. Meg turns to him when he’s done.

“So what should I tell the Master?”

“About?”

“About what you’re supposed to have been doing with Dean?”

Taken aback, Gabriel opens his mouth and closes it right away. He clears his throat.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty sure you’ll find something to say.”

“I don’t know what you like, what if I go overboard and say too much?”

“I don’t think you can go overboard with… this.”

She scoffs. “Believe me, I asked Dean. I thought you were way more hardcore than you actually are.”

“Well, you know what you have to say, then,” he answers, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No I don’t. And Dean didn’t give me any details. I need something specific.”

“Do you really think you would have watched the whole thing and stored every detail if I really…” he gestures toward Dean because he just can’t say it.

Obviously, she understands what he means.

“You’re right,” she admits. “Okay, I’ll just… I’ll think of something.”

“Thank you.”

He stands up, looking at Dean one last time. He needs to think of something, and fast. He can’t let him be used by Lucifer any longer. Maybe Michael could be of some help.

“Just to be clear,” he adds, turning to Meg. “You will tell my brother something happened here. Tell him the raciest thing you can think of. And I want you to do your best to keep Dean from enduring my brother’s whims again. That’s an order.”

She nods, smiling. “Yes, Master.”

~*~

“I’m sorry, Gabriel, there’s nothing I can do,” Michael says, avoiding his brother’s gaze.

Shifting in his seat in front of Gabriel’s desk, he sighs. Gabriel can’t believe it. He looks around at his study, hoping that maybe something will give him an idea about how to convince Michael.

“I don’t understand. Lucifer talks to you, he invites you often. Can’t you at least talk to him?”

Michael shakes his head ‘no’.

“You know how he is,” he almost whispers.

He looks up at Gabriel, almost sheepishly, and down again, twisting his hands nervously.

“Michael…”

Gabriel isn’t sure, but something is off about his brother. He’s never looked that shameful before.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

All tension seem to leak out of Michael’s body and he finally looks up again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would go that far…”

Gabriel freezes. “What do you mean?”

“When Ana died, I couldn’t… I needed… something. I had never felt so strongly before and Lucifer… he said he’d help. He said I could get my revenge if I did everything he asked. I believed him. We made a deal.”

Gabriel doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s so unlike Michael, who’s always so calm, so collected… He just stares at his brother, mouth open in disbelief.

“I thought I wanted revenge,” Michael goes on, seemingly unable to stop now that he started talking. “I didn’t know how to get rid of all those… those… _feelings_. So I said yes. He said he’d take care of Ana’s killer, in exchange for my district.” Suddenly, his gaze turns pleading. “You have to know what it feels like, at least just a little… I didn’t care about Humans anymore… I didn’t care about the district or any of those Earthly things I just… needed… something. And Lucifer gave it to me. He managed to find that Winchester boy and get him arrested and put on trial. He was going to buy him but then you bid first and you took him and we thought… we thought it would teach him a lesson. We knew why you wanted him. When we saw it wasn’t as much of a punishment as we thought it would be for him, we tried to think of something else… but he gave us the answer himself. He left and it was the perfect opportunity. Lucifer took advantage and we… he decided the Boy needed a proper punishment. And now he thinks… he thinks you betrayed us. He thinks you need to be taught a lesson, too.”

Carefully, Gabriel sits back in his chair. He runs a hand through his hair, giving Michael an incredulous look. This is… he wasn’t expecting this.

“Do _you_ think I need to be taught a lesson?”

He feels betrayed, cheated, and empty. His brothers worked against him, all this time.

“No,” Michael exclaims. “I don’t, believe me! And I realized I made a mistake. I went back to Lucifer and I tried everything I could so he would give me my district back but he… he said he held his side of the deal, so I had to hold mine as well. And he’s right. There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry, Gabriel. You know how he is. We can’t fight him.”

A heavy silence settles on the both of them, while Gabriel thinks about all his brother told him. He can’t believe Lucifer would do something like this… even if it was in order to help Michael. He doesn’t understand love, he doesn’t know what Michael has lost. Gabriel thinks he knows, on a lesser scale. But Lucifer has been lost in hatred for many centuries now.

Michael sighs.

“You need to let go of the Winchester boy, Gabriel. It’s over. He’s gone, now. I know you saw him. You know he’s gone.”

It takes a second to process what Michael is saying, and when Gabriel finally gets the words he feels anger slowly building up until he can’t hold it anymore.

“Get out,” he says through gritted teeth.

Dean isn’t gone. Dean isn’t dead. Michael has no idea what he’s talking about. He saw Dean react, he knows he can take him away from Lucifer and bring him back to his old self. Michael doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Ana is dead. If she was alive and in Dean’s place, Michael wouldn’t even hesitate to do something.

“Brother, be reasonable – “

“I said, LEAVE!”

Michael blinks at him like he doesn’t understand. Gabriel lets out a breath, trying to calm down.

“If you’re not going to help then leave,” he tries again, his voice shaking. “If you can’t even fight for yourself, what good are you?” He shouldn’t be saying that. He knows he shouldn’t, but he does anyway. “Lucifer took everything from you and you just sit there telling me you can’t do anything. You’re pathetic, Michael. Just leave. You don’t deserve to be called my Brother anymore.”

He sees Michael wince when he hears the words, but it doesn’t hurt Gabriel much. He feels so detached from his body, his vessel, he reminds himself, that he can’t even bring himself to feel the pain of his brother. He knows that pushing him away like this, removing the honor of being called a Brother is like stabbing an angel right in the heart.

“You can’t possibly mean that, Gabriel.”

Gabriel just stares, and waits. Michael’s face is unreadable, a mix of too many emotions for Gabriel to understand. And in a flap of wings, he’s gone.

~*~

“ _It appears that these seemingly harmless riots are taking new proportions_ ,” the journalist is saying, her voice distorted by the old TV speakers of the motel room Sam’s staying in while he waits for Castiel to wake up. “ _We can only relay rumors for now, but it appears that some of the leaders of some of the most influential Human Rights groups have met several times. We are still unable to tell what has been said during those meetings, but the general population is starting to ask questions. One thing is sure, though. Ruby Flanigan is now the most wanted person on the planet. People want to know the truth of her article. Some want her to lead what they call ‘The Rebellion’. But still no sign of her_.”

As she speaks, images of people marching in the streets holding signs follow each other endlessly. Sam sighs as they show short clips of people claiming that ‘God will punish the non-believers’, followed by an old picture of Ruby. This is getting out of hand.

_“The Angels haven’t reacted, yet, but a demon task force has been sent.”_

On TV, a young girl, who can’t possibly be older than eighteen, gets slammed on the concrete floor by a massive man in a black uniform. He holds her head on the ground and cuffs her. She squirms, tears on her face, trying to get away. She knows it’s over for her. Everybody watching TV right now knows it’s over for her. She’s going to be put on trial, and then sold. Like all the other people Sam can see getting arrested in a huge crowd of protesters as the images change again. That’s what Ruby did. She didn’t free them. She condemned them by making them believe they could fight.

Dean was right, Sam thinks suddenly. Nobody gets the reality of slavery. Not until they lived it. All of these people, they don’t know what’s waiting for them. It’ll probably be worse than anything they can imagine for most of them.

A groan coming from the bed behind him jerks him out of his thoughts, and he almost runs toward Castiel who’s slowly waking up.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, drink this,” Sam says, grabbing a glass of water he put on the night stand a while before in the hope the former angel would soon wake up.

At first, Castiel frowns, but he starts coughing when he tries to talk and he finally let Sam push the glass against his mouth. He drinks the entire glass in one go and, panting, pushes Sam away.

“Being Human is tedious,” he breathes after a while.

Sam just smiles at that. Castiel sits up awkwardly and closes his eyes. Sam puts his hand on the angel’s forehead to see if he has a fever, but Castiel is just a bit warm. Nothing that’s not normal.

“How are you feeling?”

Castiel huffs. “I think I need to relieve myself.”

He opens his eyes again and it looks like it’s the most dreadful thing he’s ever had to face in his entire existence. Holding back a laugh, Sam points to the door on the bed’s right.

“Toilet is there.”

Castiel looks at the door like it’s going to eat him alive.

“Thank you,” he says, pushing the covers away from his body and getting up from the bed.

Sam lets him walk on his own to the bathroom and goes back to sitting in front of the TV. The news report is over, and now there’s a debate between two experts to know if Humans should ask for an audience with the Council or if they should believe what the angels say blindly.

“ _They wouldn’t send demons after us if there wasn’t a bit of truth in what this Flanigan woman said_ ,” one of them exclaims, getting a bit red in the face.

He’s probably right, Sam thinks, but his opponent is keeping his calm and he looks to be in perfect control of his emotions, which makes him more credible in the eyes of any regular Joe watching their TV right now.

“ _Who said the angels sent the demons? If we analyze the article you’re talking about, we can see some things aren’t adding up_ ,” the opponent says. His name appears under him on the screen. Reverend Boyle, TV host, preacher. Right. This doesn’t look good. “ _The fact that Miss Flanigan is a member of that hideous group, ‘The Righteous Path’ just proves that she’s nothing more than a wannabe rebel who just wanted to start a riot, maybe gain some fame in the process. And she’s got what she wanted. We shouldn’t give more credit to her story than the story deserves. Let’s wait for an official statement from the Council before we start waging war on our Saviors_.”

Of course he would say that. Sam shakes his head in disbelief.

“ _Our saviors? You mean the creatures who took our planet and decided to enslave us so we wouldn’t stop them?_ ”

The guy is angry now, and Sam finds himself protesting against him under his breath. His words are right, but his attitude is all wrong and that Boyle guy is gaining from it.

“ _They punish the criminals, better than we ever managed to.”_ The reverend answers. _“If one day you decide to open a History book, Sir, you’ll see that before they took command under God’s order, prisons were full, serial killers were ravaging the Earth, killing their brothers en masse. We needed them then. And after the recent events, it is clear that we still do_.” 

If his arguments weren’t somehow pleading Dean’s case, Sam would turn the TV off. This guy is unbearable to watch, but his arguments are compelling.

_“That Winchester boy probably helped her in exchange for his freedom, I suppose,”_ Boyle goes on. _“But there’s no credit to his story. Can you really imagine an Archangel, one of our very own Guardians, doing the things that boy said he did? Because I can’t_. _That boy deserves what’s happening to him_.”

Okay, that’s it. Sam turns the TV off.

“Sam.”

Sam turns around, and Castiel is standing there, his gaze fixed on the now black screen of the TV.

“Will you tell me the truth if I ask you a question?”

Sam nods as Castiel walks to him and sits down on the couch.

“Did Dean give that Ruby girl an interview?”

“No,” Sam answers, firmly.

Castiel nods and looks down.

“Then how did she find out about… everything?”

“Dean told me things he made me swear not to tell a soul. But Ruby, she helped, you know? So I told her. It was a mistake. But it wasn’t Dean’s mistake. It was mine. And he went back to Gabriel’s willingly to save me.”

Castiel stares at him for a while, squinting, until finally he nods.

“I believe you.”

“Why would you? What changed?”

Castiel sighs.

“I followed your lead about the demon, Alastair. Some of his followers probably jumped me, I don’t remember a thing. When I woke up I was alone and my Grace was gone. But the information you gave me was genuine, from what I gathered. And I never felt anything fake about Dean during all his time at Gabriel’s. So by all logic, he’s someone I can trust.”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Is that it?”

“You could have killed me,” Castiel answers. “But you didn’t. So I assume I can trust you as well.”

Sam blinks at him, a bit surprised about Castiel’s way of thinking. They look at each other for a while, and soon Sam feels more than awkward. The angel’s gaze is… really piercing.

“Can I ask you something else,” Castiel finally adds, squinting again.

“S… Sure.”

“Can you tell me how to use a penis?”

“What?!”

“I think I didn’t grasp the subtleties. There’s pee on the bathroom floor. I’m sorry.”

Sam starts laughing so hard he can’t stop for long minutes, during which Castiel just stares at with wide, supplicant eyes.

God, those angels. They’re really something.

When Sam has calmed down enough, he tells Castiel he’ll figure it out, eventually. He can’t just… show the angel how to pee. He doesn’t even want to think about it.

After that, Sam puts some food into Castiel. Turns out he fainted out of exhaustion and hunger. He told Sam it was very difficult to survive ever since he woke up as a human. He doesn’t have any money, and he had to steal mostly to be able to eat. And during all this time, as he put it, ‘learning how to use a penis wasn’t one of his priorities’. Sam just laughed some more.

“And so your only idea was to look for me?”

“You’re the only free human I know.”

Sam shakes his head. He can’t believe it.

“How did you find me?”

Castiel stands up and retrieves his suit jacket lying on the bed. He looks into the inner pockets and get out a photograph. When he comes back to sit in front of Sam again on the little couch, he hands it to him.

It’s the picture of him, Dean and their Dad that Dean always kept in his wallet.

“I was lucky enough that I still had that picture. I showed it around.”

Sam huffs in surprise. “Yeah, really lucky. Look at that!” He laughs awkwardly. “I’m never cutting my hair again.”

Castiel raises an eyebrow at him but doesn’t comment, and doesn’t protest when Sam folds the picture again, careful to follow the old creases that show Dean’s folded it and unfolded it time and time again, and puts it in his jeans’ pocket.

“So, what now? What do you want me to do?”

Castiel seems to get out of his thoughts and does something strangely human, he runs his hand through his hair, not even aware he’s doing it. It doesn’t suit him, Sam thinks.

“I need you to take me to Gabriel.”

“I can’t do that,” Sam states.

He won’t abandon everything he’s worked so hard on just to give a fallen angel a lift. Castiel squints again, his brow furrowing in anger.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m working on something!” Sam gestures toward the coffee table in front of him and the papers scattered around. All the different versions of the Article he could find, all the data on Ruby he managed to gather. “I need to clear Dean’s name. I know I can’t bust him out a second time. I need to do things properly. Legally. I need to find Ruby so she can testify.”

Castiel’s expression softens, and he looks almost sad.

“It won’t change the fact that your brother killed an angel.”

“That’s why once I have Ruby I’ll start working on those murders again. To prove we were working on a case, and we thought she was guilty.”

“Even if it worked, Sam…” the angel seems to hesitate. He looks away at the black screen of the TV, thoughtful. “I’m scared that my brother has made a fool decision, based on his feelings. Lucifer… have you heard of him?”

Sam nods, a shudder running through him. Oh yes, he did.

“Well, what you probably heard doesn’t compare to what he is in real life. Your brother probably told you about his encounter with him… Gabriel tried to rein Lucifer, when he still felt for Dean. But now that he thinks Dean has betrayed him…”

“What does it have to do with Lucifer?”

Castiel sighs. “He came by more often the last days I was with Gabriel. That’s unusual. It’s not a secret that I don’t like him, and maybe I’m mistaken, but it seemed to me that his interest in Dean was… odd, to say the least. He usually doesn’t care about slaves. He didn’t care about Ana either. The only reason I can see him being that kind to Gabriel is if he wants something from him. And I think… maybe Dean is a part of it.”

Sam doesn’t know what to say to that. Suddenly hot, white fear grips his heart, clenching his guts. Castiel looks at him again.

“Again, it could just be paranoia on my part but… I have a bad feeling about this.”

Sam grits his jaw.

“If I help you,” he starts, “if I bring you to Gabriel, will you help me set Dean free?”

Castiel is silent for a moment, clearly thinking.

“I can’t promise you anything, because I’m not an Archangel, I’m not part of the Council myself, but… I’ll try. For the help you provide me. And for Dean.”

Sam nods. That’s all he needs.

“Fine, let’s not waste time then.”

~*~

He’s going to find something, he knows it. Lucifer granted him another visit. So he’s going to plead, he’s going to beg if he has to, but Gabriel is going to get Dean back. If he manages to heal Dean, then he knows all of Lucifer’s work would have been for nothing. It’s a good way of getting revenge. A first step to a plan he hasn’t fully developed, yet. But he’ll find something to get back at his brothers.

He doesn’t care about the Article anymore. Or he’ll care later. Maybe he still cares a bit about Castiel, but he reasons that it was probably Dean’s brother who went after him and killed him. Dean liked Cas, he wouldn’t have hurt him.

It takes him a couple days before he musters the courage to go knock at his brother’s door. Well, he didn’t really just knock… Lucifer doesn’t like surprises, so he announced himself before. But here he is, now. His last chance to get Dean back, and set everything straight. Dean’s done things, but he’s been punished for it, and that’s it. They need to resume their life, now. That much he understood from his other slaves’ behavior.

When he enters Lucifer’s home, Meg is already walking down the stairs. She doesn’t talk, just bows to him. She looks sad, and in pain. It worries Gabriel. She keeps walking in front of him, as fast as she can without making him run, and she doesn’t turn around this time.

“Something happened?”

She doesn’t answer as she keeps walking. He walks up to her and grabs her wrist to tell her to wait, but the hiss of pain she makes, barely repressing a yelp, stops him dead and he releases her. She stands there, looking at the floor, and bring her hands to her chest, holding her injured wrist with her other hand. Her right arm seems fine, but her left wrist is wrapped into a piece of cloth. Now that he’s really looking at her, he sees that her left thighs his bruised, too.

“Tell me what happened,” he whispers.

She shakes her head, closing her eyes.

“Please, Meg.”

“Gimme a minute,” she breathes.

Her voice is shaking with unshed tears. Taking a few breaths through her nose, she slowly swallows them back.

She sighs, trembling all over. “He’s waiting,” she murmurs.

“I know, just make it quick. What happened?”

“He knows you haven’t touched Dean. He knows I lied. He punished me, that’s what happened. And he punished Dean.”

“What did he do?”

She shakes her head again. “I can’t…”

“Okay, it’s okay. Just…” he looks at her wrist, carefully bringing his hands closer. “Can I see?”

“Don’t heal it!”

“I won’t, just show me. Please?”

She’s in a sort of shock, he thinks. She seemed so different when he first met her, so strong. Now he feels like he’s talking to a frightened little girl.

Slowly, she holds out her arm. He removes the cloth and sees that her whole forearm is swollen, almost purple. He can’t help but wince in sympathy as he tries to seek the true nature of the injury with his Grace, careful not to startle her.

“Some of your bones are broken,” he says gently.

“No kidding,” she answers, sniffling.

Well, maybe she isn’t completely lost to shock.

“I could heal them, without healing the bruise, so it would look like it’s still broken. No way for an angel to know it’s fixed unless he looks for the broken bones with his Grace. And he would have to touch your wrist for that. I don’t think Lucifer would bother to check. Do you want me to try?”

She looks confused for a second. “Why would you do that?”

He shrugs. “Because you tried to help me and you failed, so the least I can do is try to help you.”

“I didn’t do it for you.”

“I know. Please, let me help.”

She hesitates, looking at the corridor behind them. Then, carefully, as if she’s not sure, she nods. In two seconds he’s done, his Grace flowing through her wrist, finding all the molecules it needs to repair the damages done to her.

She sighs in relief. “Thank you, Master.”

He lets go of her.

“Now take me to my brother.”

She nods as she starts walking again, re-arranging the cloth around her arm.

Lucifer is waiting for him in the library again. So he’s pissed at Gabriel, then. Or so Gabriel thinks, until he sees another chair has been added in front of Lucifer’s.

“Gabriel,” his brother says, nodding at him.

Gabriel sits, and tries to look as sheepish as possible. He tries not to let anger overwhelm him. It’s less easy than he first thought. He needs to think, quickly, of something to say that would convince Lucifer to give him Dean back. He’s been so angry he forgot about what he was going to say.

“What brings you here?”

Gabriel sighs, and looks up dramatically. Surely, his brother can at least give him points for all the effort he’s putting into this. He’s playing the game, now.

“I felt bad, I needed to see you, to apologize.”

Lucifer quirks an eyebrow, apparently surprised. “What for?”

“I… I didn’t touch Dean, last time I was here. I thought… it didn’t feel right, now that he’s yours. And I was too ashamed to tell you so I asked your girl to lie. I’m sorry.”

Lucifer doesn’t talk for a long while.

“I know,” he finally says. “Do you really think you could fool me?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking, clearly… I just… can I have him back? I just want to touch him but here… it doesn’t feel right.”

Lucifer holds up a glass of wine from out of nowhere, and takes a sip before he answers.

“No.”

Gabriel is taken aback. He thought Lucifer would at least try to talk him out of it.

“W… why not?”

“Do you really think I’m stupid, Gabriel? Do you really think I wouldn’t see right through you? I’m the one who raised you, since the first day you were brought to existence. And you come here, lying to my face, just to get your human toy back?” His voice is calm, pleasant almost, but his eyes are ice cold. “Don’t you think I know you’re lying right now? You reek of anger, _Brother_. You’re not sorry.”

“I don’t—“

“Don’t bother. You disappoint me. I thought you were better than that.”

Gabriel slumps in his seat. He knows Lucifer doesn’t believe him because he can feel everything Gabriel is feeling. Slowly, he tries to calm down. He looks down in what he hopes looks like a defeated gesture, and he tries to think about Dean. Specifically about Dean’s hands on him, about Dean’s body. He needs Lucifer to believe he really wants Dean right now. And it won’t work if Gabriel can’t feel a bit of desire as he talks about the human, even if right now he wouldn’t even touch Dean with a ten feet pole.

He remembers the first time he allowed Dean to see him naked, to touch his skin. The way Dean took charge and eased him into it. How Dean’s tongue on his skin felt so hot and perfect and how it made him almost squirm. How he wants to do it again but not in those circumstances, never like this. How he wants _his_ Dean back. How he wants to see the perfect muscles of his back roll under his skin as Gabriel takes him apart.

He feels something, a tiny spark in the pit of his stomach. He knows it’s enough. Just a flash of lust.

“Please…” he tries again, looking up. “I need him.”

“I’m aware, yes. And you’re ready to try and trick your own Kind to be with him.” He arches an eyebrow. “Tell me, Brother, what’s so special about him? Because I tried. Everything I knew you used him for. And I still can’t see it.”

Gabriel swallows hard, feeling bile rise in his throat. He tries to think of Dean, only Dean. The old Dean. The healthy Dean.

“He’s different,” he says, as he feels something indescribable when he thinks about the time Dean first kissed him.

“So everything he did to you, to _us_ , is forgotten, because he’s a good lay, is that it?”

Gabriel huffs in frustration, closing his eyes.

“Please, Lucifer, I don’t want to fight with you.” He opens his eyes again. “I can give you anything you want in exchange. You want to teach me a lesson, I get it. But this is going too far.”

Lucifer laughs, unhappy. “Listen to yourself, Gabriel. You’re obsessed. And for what? You won’t gain anything out of this. What could you possibly give me that I don’t already have?”

“My district.”

There, he said it. His Grace pulses in alarm as soon as the words leave his mouth and he sees genuine surprise cross Lucifer’s features.

“Oh, I see…” Lucifer says. His voice is bitter, and cold. “Michael’s been complaining to you, hasn’t he? That’s why he won’t answer my calls anymore…”

He stands up, and Gabriel cowers in his seat.

“Leave this house, Gabriel. And I don’t want you back until I say you can.”

Gabriel stands up, his jaws firmly shut to keep himself from saying anything else. He looks at his brother one last time before he steps toward the door.

Meg enters the room before he has time to reach it. Lucifer probably called her. Bowing, she waits for Gabriel to exit the room.

Meg doesn’t talk as she sees him out, but she looks back from time to time, like she’s trying to say something. Once they finally get to the entrance hall, she suddenly freezes, turning around with a sigh.

“Will you try again?”

She looks down as she asks, probably afraid of what she’ll see on his face when he answers.

“I don’t know… I think I played my last card, today…”

She nods, resolution hardening her features.

“Good night, Master,” she says.

Then, bowing, she takes one step back and leaves him here.

~*~

He could have appeared in his study directly when he flew out of Lucifer’s property, but he couldn’t bring himself to. So he appears outside his house, in the garden, and stands here for a while, letting the small breeze and the smell of newly bloomed flowers calm his nerves. He needs a moment before he faces his slaves again. He said he would bring Dean back tonight. But he didn’t. He doesn’t know why he told them that. And anyway, they didn’t believe him, he saw that on their faces.

Letting out a breath, he walks to the house. When he enters, nobody’s here to great him. He’s grateful. He doesn’t want to see anybody. He just wants to forget for a little while… maybe he’ll try to sleep.

“Master Gabriel!”

He doesn’t turn around as he’s already half up the stairs, and he doesn’t want to know what Camilla wants with him.

“No, Dean’s not here, and no, I couldn’t bring him back.”

He keeps going. She runs after him. Which he would find odd if he wasn’t in such a foul mood. Good old Mrs. Herbert never runs. Unless she’s forced to.

“No, Master, please wait,” she calls after him. “There’s someth—“

“Not now, please.”

He’s almost there. Almost to his study. He doesn’t want to fly away and disappear on her, but if he slams the door in her face, maybe she’ll get the hint.

“Master, wait, don’t open the –“

 “I said, not now!”

Her eyes widen in fear when he looks at her. She freezes. His hand is already on the door knob, door half open. He wants her to understand he doesn’t want her to follow him.

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” He tries to sound appeasing.

But she’s not even looking at him anymore. She’s staring at something behind his back, or someone, judging from the apologetic smile she’s wearing.

He turns around.

There are two people in his study. Two people he surely never expected to see here.

“You got even worse while I was away,” Castiel says, raising an eyebrow. “Thank you, Mrs. Herbert.”

Gabriel just stares at him, he can’t believe it. Castiel is here.

Dead Castiel.

Alive.

In his study.

Wearing a hoodie.


	16. When you want something done...

# CHAPTER 16 : When you want something done…

 

Gabriel takes a step inside, or maybe Camilla pushed him, he isn’t sure, and it takes the sound of the door closing behind him to bring him back to the present.

Castiel is here, standing in front of him. He’s real. He’s alive. He’s… wrong. Something’s wrong.

“Cas?!”

Castiel sighs. “Yes,” he just answers like Gabriel is stupid.

First, he’s wearing a hoodie and jeans. Second… Gabriel can’t feel him. At all. He can’t feel his Grace. What the—

“What are you wearing?”

Wait, no. That is definitely not what he wanted to ask. The man next to Castiel huffs, and Gabriel finally remembers Cas wasn’t alone when he first came in. Gabriel has to look really hard and good to believe what he sees. It’s Dean’s brother. Heavens, what is happening?

“What are you doing here?” Wait, no. Even better. He turns to Cas. “Why did you bring him here?”

“I know this must be confusing, Gabriel, but we need to talk. Urgently. Sam helped me, that’s all you need to know. We can trust him. Where is Dean?”

This stops Gabriel, he hesitates.

“He’s… not here.”

Sam seems to come to life, suddenly, all anger and rage.

“Where is he?”

“You listened to Lucifer,” Castiel states.

There’s no interrogation in his voice. He knows. Gabriel looks down in shame.

“He won’t give him back,” he whispers.

Sam looks between the two of them, a frown on his face.

“Where’s Dean?”

“With Lucifer,” Castiel answers.

Seeing the look of pure terror Sam is now giving Castiel, Gabriel feels guilt invade every single cell in his body. Sam turns to him.

“What do you mean ‘he won’t give him back’? I thought Dean was yours. Legally.”

Gabriel nods. “My brother doesn’t care about legalities.”

“Why would you give him away in the first place?!”

He can’t believe everyone is mad at him. First, Meg, who looked like he’d been a huge disappointment. Now Castiel, that he thought dead and just got back, and Dean’s brother. And his slaves. His slaves are mad, and scared. He can’t take that anymore.

“Because of that article!!” He can’t help but answer with the same tone Sam took. “Because Dean betrayed us. He betrayed me! And I thought…” He looks at Cas. “I thought you were dead because of him.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Dean never gave that interview, how many fucking times will we have to tell you?!”

“Why should I believe you?”

“It’s true,” Castiel comes in. “That journalist… Flanigan. She’s used Sam here to get information from him. Things Dean told him in secrecy.”

Momentarily losing his ability to speak, Gabriel looks away before his eyes find Cas again.

“How do you know?”

“Because Sam told me. And I trust Sam.”

“And because I’m here, telling you I’m the one who told Ruby everything. Isn’t that enough?”

Gabriel’s head starts spinning, and he covers his eyes with the heels of his hands. That’s everything Dean said. Everything he repeated again, and again, and Gabriel never listened. And he punished him for telling the truth.

Gabriel lets his arms fall down at his side.

“The only thing he did, like he admitted willingly, was killing Ana,” Castiel goes on. “And arguably, escaping from us. But can you blame him for that?”

Gabriel needs a drink. He feels sick.

“What did Lucifer told you to do? What happened to Dean?”

He doesn’t answer right away. He can’t. He walks to his desk, sitting in his chair heavily, getting a bottle of whisky out of his desk, and summoning two glasses. Wait, Dean’s brother is here. He summons another one, and pours everyone a drink.

He downs his glass in one go.

“Gabriel…”

“He told me…” he can’t finish the sentence, not in front of Dean’s brother. “Heavens!”

In three quick strides Sam is at his desk, an angel blade digging into Gabriel’s throat.

“What happened to my brother?!”

Looking up in his eyes, Gabriel sighs. He feels so tired. And so awful.

“You know this won’t kill me, right?”

Sam grits his jaws.

“No, but it’ll probably hurt.”

“Sam,” Castiel calls behind them. “You drove all day, you need a rest.”

They keeps staring at each other until Sam reluctantly pulls away, hiding the blade inside his coat pocket again.

“When we get Dean back, we need to have a little chat, you and me,” Sam tells Gabriel.

Gabriel nods. He deserves this. He deserves worse, even.

“Come on,” Castiel urges Sam, taking him by an arm.

They leave Gabriel alone.

~*~

Sam wakes up the next morning, groggy and sore and he has no idea where he is. The pillows around him and behind his head are so fluffy he can’t find the strength to open his eyes. The mattress is the most comfortable thing he’s ever slept on. Everything smells like fresh, just-cleaned linen. He doesn’t remember having had a better night than he just did.

That’s weird.

When he opens his eyes, he’s in a small room, big enough to fit a queen size bed, a drawer and a nightstand. On his left there’s a window, the sun is streaming through the thin curtains.

The wall paper is the most hideous thing he’s ever seen. A kind of… he doesn’t even know… flowery pattern? Red and green and with bits of blue. Okay.

The blue reminds him suddenly he’s in Castiel’s quarters, in Gabriel’s mansion. To find Dean. And he’s here, lying in bed while Dean is probably getting tortured, Jesus!

He jumps out of bed, put his pants and shirt on as quick as he can. When he finally makes it to Gabriel’s study, he’s not sure of what he should do. Knock? Just… burst in there? He thinks knocking is a good solution, for a start. He still wants to strangle the bastard to death, but for now he needs him.

He doesn’t wait for anyone to tell him to come in, though. He opens the door, and finds Castiel and Gabriel sitting on the couch, talking in hushed voices. They stop when he enters.

“Close the door,” Gabriel says.

“A little ‘please’ would be nice…” Sam answers, just because it makes him feel better.

He closes the door and walks closer.

“Gabriel,” Castiel urges.

Gabriel rolls his eyes but waves toward Sam.

“ _Please_ , sit.”

“Whe--?”

Sam doesn’t have time to finish his sentence. As he looks around to show them there’s nowhere else to sit, there’s suddenly a comfy looking chair behind him.

He huffs, sitting down.

“This is going to be more difficult than we thought,” Castiel tells him.

Gabriel nods.

“Lucifer won’t let me come back. I tried to ask again… but he’s not even answering anymore.”

God, every time he moves or talk, Sam wants to rip his throat open. He tries to collect himself before he answers.

“Can’t we just… go in, take Dean and go out? You don’t need to ask permission to do that…”

The two angels look at him like he’s nuts. Gabriel is the first to say so.

“You mean… steal Dean from Lucifer? Are you crazy?”

Sam smirks. “I did it once, it worked.”

“I didn’t know your face,” Gabriel counters. “And if I remember correctly it took you weeks to find a way to breach the protection around the property. Lucifer is way more paranoid than I am. Nobody can enter without him knowing. He’d let you in, yes, but he probably wouldn’t let you out!”

“What if it’s someone he knows?”

Castiel arches an eyebrow, not doing anything to hide the hate in his eyes.

“It’d depend on the person, I guess.”

They turn to Gabriel, both at the same time. The Archangel looks surprised.

“What? Me?” At first he laughs, like it’s a good joke. But when he sees they’re serious he stops. “I told you, he won’t let me in. And he’d feel it’s me the first millisecond I step in.”

“But you would have the element of surprise…” Castiel answers, squinting.

Usually, that means he’s thinking, from what Sam gathered from being around him for a few days. Gabriel crosses his arms across his chest.

“It won’t help. Even if I distract him, you’d need to be here, you’d need to find Dean, and Cas, you know Lucifer’s mansion is a maze… and even if you’d manage to escape his notice at first, he would find you eventually. And we’d all be dead.” He looks away. “And he’d probably punish Dean for it.”

A heavy silence falls on them, and a solid minute passes before Castiel opens his mouth again.

“Lucifer likes his rituals. Does he still do this thing where he summons you, sends a slave to greet you when you first come in, and they lead you to a different room every time?”

Sam opens his eyes in disbelief. That Lucifer guy is a psychopath.

“Yes,” Gabriel answers. “It’s more than annoying.”

“Do you know where Dean is held?”

“No…” the Archangel looks defeated for a second before his eyes light up. “But I know someone who knows!”

Sam sits up, interested.

“There’s a slave… her name is Meg. She made friends with Dean, apparently.”

Sam can’t help the little smile that appears on his face. Sounds just like his brothers, making ‘friends’ with every chick he meets. It’s a sad smile, though, thinking about everything Dean must have endured. If Gabriel doesn’t want to talk about it, then it must be bad.

Castiel looks sceptic.

“She’d help you?”                    

“Yes. She already did. Or at least she tried. And she paid for it, poor thing…”

“Then that’s good.”

Gabriel sighs. “I still don’t get how you want me to distract Lucifer and get Dean at the same time. He’s probably tied up somewhere, and I’m sure Meg doesn’t have the keys.”

Sam feels hope coming back. This is good. He knows what they have to do. 

“You don’t,” he says.

Gabriel frowns. “What?”

“You don’t distract him. You get there, he won’t expect it. If he does like he usually do, like you said, then you use the time it’ll take him to set up his little drama to get Dean out with the help of the girl. You go in, you get Dean, you go out, you won’t even have to go and say ‘hello’ to Lucifer. You don’t need keys to open a lock, right? You can just use Grace.”

Looking at Sam with a whole new level of intensity, Cas nods slowly.

“This could work.”

“I… I don’t know…” Gabriel hesitates. “He’ll know it’s me. He’ll know… there’ll be no going back.”

“You know what he did to Dean, and you won’t talk about it, so I take it it’s really bad,” Sam says, suddenly furious. “And you’re still not sure about it? Aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I am!”

“Then do something about it!”

Castiel watches them but doesn’t say anything. Breathing hard, Sam sits back in his chair. Gabriel doesn’t move, keeping his eyes on him.

“Fine,” he finally lets out. “I’ll do it. When?”

Sam holds back the relieved breath that wants to come out of his mouth.

“Tonight.”

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

They hold each other’s gaze until Sam can feel his eyes tear up from not blinking.

“Okay, then, if we’re all set…” Castiel says, conversationally. “I guess we just have to wait now. And I’m hungry.” He stands up. “Sam?”

Looking away from Gabriel, Sam nods and follows Castiel.

~*~

When they get to the kitchen, Sam stays a bit behind, and lets Castiel go in first. Apparently, people like him here, judging by all the “Master Castiel!” and “We’re so happy you’re alive!” he can hear.

Sam steps in, and silence falls on all of them. Castiel turns to him, but doesn’t say anything, a small reassuring smile on his face.

“Hi,” Sam starts, awkwardly, “I, uh… I guess we got off on the wrong foot so… you know my name isn’t Ted. Maybe I should introduce myself properly…”

He clears his throat and waits, but they don’t move.

“So, I’m Sam, I’m Dean’s brother. And I’m sorry I had to make you believe I was someone else…”

His eyes find Jessica when he says this. He tries to smile apologetically but she lowers her gaze.

“Sam is here to help us,” Castiel goes on when the silence becomes uncomfortable. “We’re going to get Dean back and put an end to all the craziness we found ourselves into. Everything will go back to normal, I assure you.”

The slaves all look at each other, and the older woman nods.

“Thank you, Master.”

She sounds relieved. Castiel turns to Sam again, a pleading look on his face. His stomach makes a loud, rumbling noise. The older slave arches an eyebrow.

“Oh, yes, I almost forgot…” Cas adds, sheepish. “I am human now.” Everybody’s surprised, but nobody says anything about it. “Someone took my Grace. So, first, please don’t kill me in my sleep,” there’re a few laughs in the room. “And second, I’m really hungry. I know it’s past noon, but Mrs. Herbert…”

“I can make an omelet,” the red-haired girl chirps.

The old woman nods, and finally the guys leave the kitchen, all smiling at Cas. Some of the girls, too. When they’re all gone, there’s only Jessica, the red-head, Charlie, if Sam remembers correctly, and the little… Oh. Yes, Jordan. Dean told him about her. But she looks… her hair is shorter.

Castiel gestures to him so he’ll sit. Sam takes a chair, and waits. The girls are cooking in earnest, and Sam can’t help but stare at Jessica. He hopes she won’t notice. He can’t help it, even if he knows it’s a bit creepy. He remembers thinking she was beautiful when he first met her, and on top of that she was smart. But ever since Dean said they’d have probably made a cute couple, well… he thinks about it from time to time. He never thought he would see her again.

Castiel’s voice is what manages to make him look away. The angel is sitting next to Sam, now.

“What happened to your hair, Jordan?”

The girl looks down, sadly. Sam doesn’t remember her being that tall last time he saw her. But he thinks she must be closer to fourteen than thirteen now. He knows at that age people grow really fast. At least he did.

“I cut it, Master,” she whispers.

“And I arranged it,” Charlie smiles.

Castiel frowns at her, like he’s confused. He probably wants to know why. Charlie shakes her head ‘no’. Castiel pats Jordan’s hair, turning to her again. “This is very cute.”

“Thank you, Master,” she answers, looking up. She doesn’t seem convinced, though. “I’m happy you’re not dead.”

He laughs slightly and nods at her. She sighs and leave. Sam can’t help but think that Dean lived here all those months. He wonders what it was like, for him. He wonders if his brother will be able to see all those people again. He doesn’t know what to expect. Maybe it’s too late already. He doesn’t want to think about it.

Instead he eats the most delicious omelet he’s ever tasted, and he listens to Jessica and Castiel as they catch up.

He’ll have time to think about Dean later.

~*~

“You look nervous.”

“I am nervous,” Sam answers Gabriel, angrily. “I have to sit on my ass in here while waiting for you to do something I’m not even sure you have the guts to do. I’m allowed to be nervous.”

Gabriel sighs. “I get it, you hate me. But trust me on one thing: I want Dean out of there as much as you do. I won’t fail.”

Sam snorts, and starts pacing again. Gabriel looks up at him from where he’s sitting in the study’s couch. Sam refused to go wait in Gabriel’s room. He knows what he did there. He doesn’t want to think about that. God, he’s thinking about that, now. Fuck.

He stops pacing, closing his eyes. He wishes he could just go and wait with Castiel, but Cas went for a nap. He sleeps a lot. He’s not used to having human needs. Also he goes to the bathroom a lot. Sam wonders how he’s never been able to figure out how to pee properly.

“Do you need a drink?”

And, oh, will the Archangel ever shut his mouth? Sam wants to punch him in the face.

“No, I need…” he lets out a breath, looking at Gabriel again. “I need to tell you something, since it’s almost time. But I… I don’t know if I can say the words, I…”

Huffing, he looks out the window. The sun is setting. They said they were gonna wait until it’s completely dark. His heart is beating in his throat. He hates this whole situation. Cas is going to miss the start of it…

“I’m listening,” the Archangel says.

He’s staring at Sam with the same intensity as Castiel, and for the first time, Sam remembers this is an Archangel. One of the oldest being in the world. He swallows, suddenly uncomfortable. The angel’s golden gaze doesn’t leave his face.

“What if,” he starts, slowly. “What if when you get there… what if Dean is already…”

He can’t say it. He can’t even imagine it. He doesn’t want to believe it’s a possibility.

“Dead,” Gabriel finishes his sentence for him.

And Sam thinks that for a second he saw something resembling pain in his eyes, creasing his brow. Sam nods.

“Promise me you’ll bring him back, anyway. In any state you find him in. If he’s…” he blinks. “If he’s gone,” a breath, “then he deserves to be cremated, like a proper hunter. Not sold to a demon as a cheap meat suit.”

Gabriel closes his eyes, nodding. When he opens them again, Sam sees determination there.

“I promise.”

~*~

Giving Castiel, who fortunately woke up in time, and Sam one last look, Gabriel finds he probably has less courage than he first thought he had.

He flies away, but doesn’t go to Lucifer immediately. Instead, he lands on a small hill, not far away, and looks up to the sky. Heavy clouds hang above his head. He can see no stars.

“Father,” he says aloud. “Please give me some strength, tonight.”

He’s not one for prayers. He’s never been. After all, he’s seen their Father, he basked in his glory. How can anything ever compare to that? But it’s been so long, and he needs this so much, he couldn’t stop himself. After everything that happened with Dean, and now Castiel who lost his Grace, he can’t afford another mistake.

Only after he took a few seconds to send a wordless prayer to his Father, does he allows his wings to take him to Lucifer, right before the front gates. He can’t appear further than that anyway. Lucifer has the whole property protected against everything. Including his brothers.

He pushes the gates and steps inside, walking as calmly as he can, pushing the anger away. When he gets to the front door he doesn’t knock, he enters as he usually does. He hears footsteps running down the stairs.

“M… Master Gabriel,” the slave in front of him exclaims when he sees him, a look of sheer panic on his face. “We weren’t expecting you…”

“Oh, I know, please apologize to my brother, but it’s urgent,” Gabriel says, letting his true voice ring a little to make it clear to the slave. He wonders where Meg is. “I’ll wait here.”

The slave doesn’t move, blinking. Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him.

“Well?”

“I’m sorry, Master, I don’t usually take care of this… I…”

Someone comes in on Gabriel’s left. He’s so relieved to be seeing Meg come his way that he almost laughs. Remembering himself, he starts clearing his throat, but the slave is faster. He turns to her.

“Where were you?!”

She puts her hands on her waist.

“Working. What’s happening?”

She glances toward Gabriel. He clears his throat, raising an eyebrow at her until she falls on her knees, and he turns to the slave boy again.

 “Do I need to get angry now or will you go tell my brother I want to see him?”

“Master, I…”

“The girl’ll keep me company, don’t worry? Isn’t that right, Love?”

He eyes Meg as ke says it, trying to look as condescending as he can.

“Uh…” the slave just says, frowning. He bows. “Yes, Master,” and he runs up the stairs.

As soon as he disappears, Meg stands up, hurrying toward him.

“Love?”

“I panicked.”

She gives him a worried look as she steps closer, lowering her voice.

“Why would you panic? Why are you here?”

“I don’t have time to explain, take me to Dean before your little friend comes back.”

She snorts. “He’s not my friend. He’s an asshole.”

Gabriel huffs, trying to expel the nervousness out of him. He’s trying to play it cool, but the truth is, he’s scared to death.

“Meg, take me to Dean. Now!”

“Why?”

He leans in toward her. “I’m taking him out, whether Lucifer wants me to or not,” he whispers, urgently. They don’t have much time. Her eyes widen and she opens her mouth but he doesn’t let her interrupt. “Will you help me? I’ll make sure Lucifer believes I tricked you into this. I’ll change your memories if I have to. Please.”

He sees the wheel turn in her head. She glances upstairs.

“Okay,” she breathes, “come on.”

She starts running up the stairs. He follows. She’s careful, tip toeing when they get to a corner, peeking around to see if they’re alone. It seems to Gabriel they’re never going to get to Dean in time. He doesn’t have the will to calm his vessel down, and so his heart hammers in his chest, sending blood pumping hard in his body, making him dizzy.

“Why are you doing this?”

Meg’s voice seems to resonate all around the corridor, even though she barely opened her mouth.

“Dean’s brother is waiting at my house. He told me what happened with the journalist…”

She snorts. “Let me guess, everything Dean tried to tell you time and time again was true?”

He only has the strength to nod.

“I hope you feel like shit,” she says, looking around.

Nobody’s here, they go up another flight of stairs. Sometimes, Gabriel could swear that the mansion is alive. He’s been here so many times, and still he’s incapable of knowing where he is. It’s like the rooms are changing location every time someone new comes in.

“Believe me, I do,” he answers.

He doesn’t have time to feel guilty now, though.

“Here,” Meg finally says, stopping in front of a door. “But it’s locked, I don’t have the keys.”

Putting his hand on the door knob, he sends his Grace inside the mechanism. There’s a ‘click’ and the door opens. ~~~~

Meg steps inside, quickly, and as he follows her she closes the door behind the two of them. The curtains are closed, darkening the room, but Gabriel can make out a large wooden bed. He sees someone lying on the floor at the foot of the bed. He recognizes Dean. Heavens.

Meg runs toward Dean, and slowly, gently, she kneels next to him and shakes him.

“Hey…” she whispers. “Wake up, Sleepy Head.” Dean gasps and she hushes him reassuringly. “It’s me, Dean, it’s Meg. Hey!” She slowly runs the back of her knuckles on his cheek, as if it will help him get what she’s saying. “It’s Meg, come on…”

Gabriel sees Dean’s arm raise slowly to her face, touching her hair. Once he’s sure she’s really who she says she is, he sits up, his eyes finding the floor as he takes his hand from her hair. He stills.

“It’s over, Dean,” Meg breathes.

 “I’m sorry, but we don’t have time for this,” Gabriel interrupts.

It breaks his heart to have to stop this, because he can feel Meg’s sorrow at seeing Dean leave, mixed with joy that Dean is finally going to see his family again, and it’s so pure it almost feels like it’s piercing through his Grace, but they can’t waste any time.

He steps forward, crouching next to her. Dean’s collar is attached to a leash, the other end tied against one of the bed post. When Gabriel tries to detach it, he can clearly feel Lucifer’s Grace running through it. Checking Dean’s collar, he feels the same thing. They’re fucked. They are totally, completely, utterly fucked.

Meg gives him a questioning look. “What’s happening?”

He shakes his head, holding one finger up to make her understand he needs a minute. He needs to focus, and he can’t do it if she keeps asking questions. A bead of sweat slowly drips from his brow.

He has to push Lucifer’s Grace with his own. There’s no other choice.

“Dean,” he tries to sound as appeasing as he can, “I’m going to remove your collar. It’s going to hurt. A lot. It’s going to burn your skin, I’m sorry… it’s the only way.”

Dean still doesn’t move.

“Dean, look at me,” Gabriel orders, lacing his words with a bit of his true voice to have Dean respond. He feels his stomach flip with dread, knowing he’s probably making Dean hate him even more by doing this. But he has no choice. Time is not on their side.

Dean’s eyes snap up, devoid of all emotions. Gabriel feels sick, but he shakes off the revulsion that churns his stomach. “I need you to keep silent while I’m working on it. Nod if you understand.”

Dean slowly nods.

“Good. Meg is here, okay? Focus on her.”

Shuffling on her knees, she gets closer to Dean, finding his hand and rubbing soothing circle on his skin with her thumb. Gabriel feels a spike of jealousy seeing this, but he doesn’t let it distract him. Dean’s in this situation and it’s his fault, and he shouldn’t be jealous of someone who somehow made Dean’s life more bearable here.

Raising his arms, he delicately puts his hands directly on the collar.

“Alright, here we go.”

He sends his Grace all in one go, hard, knowing they don’t have much time before someone raises the alarm. He doesn’t expect Dean to feel so much pain, though. A sharp yelp escapes his lips and, closing his eyes hard, Dean lowers his head, biting on his lower lips until Gabriel can see blood there.

Dean’s arm shoots up as Gabriel sends another wave of Grace, finding the angel’s biceps and holding on to it hard ~~~~

The noise the collar makes as it opens suddenly resonates into the silent room. Dean still has a firm grasp on his left arm, so Gabriel removes the collar with his right hand, careful not to startle the human.

He wants to wrap his arm around him, nuzzle his head in his neck and let the smell of Dean overwhelm him, but he doesn’t dare to. His hand hovers over Dean’s back, and he pats him gently.

“It’s over, we’ve got to move, now.”

Dean doesn’t react. He stills again, and it seems that nothing could make him move from his spot on the floor.

Sighing, Gabriel bends over, reluctantly using his true voice again to get Dean to release him. “Let go,” he urges, “we have to move.”

Dean obeys, and Gabriel stands up, pulling the human with him. “I’m sorry I had to do that,” he adds.

He knows Dean probably isn’t listening, but he needed to say it. ~~~~

He gestures for Meg to show them the way and follows her out of the room. Gabriel keeps one hand on Dean’s neck, the other on his arm. He’s not sure taking a position of authority like this is really necessary, but he doesn’t want to take any chances. He hates himself for it, but he has to if he wants to bring Dean home.

They make their way through the mansion slowly but surely.

“We’ll take one of the back entrances,” Meg whispers. ~~~~

Gabriel nods.

They’re about to take a turn at the end of a corridor when Meg freezes in front of Gabriel and Dean. They can all clearly hear heavy footsteps coming toward them.

“Where have you been, you fucking bitch?!”

She takes a step back.

“Hey! Come back,” the voice says.

Gabriel recognizes the voice of the slave who came to greet him when he first came in. He really sounds like an asshole. Not knowing what to do, Gabriel just stays where he is, his heart hammering in his chest, he feels Dean go rigid.

Meg pushes Dean and him both, opening a door Gabriel didn’t see, and she shoves them inside. It’s a small closet, full of linen. There’s not much space. He shakes his head ‘no’.

The other slave is close now, Gabriel can tell by the sound of his voice. Meg gives Gabriel a panicked look, mouthing ‘sorry’, and closes the door on him and Dean.

Gabriel is stuck between Dean and the door, and he’s pretty sure the shelves behind Dean are cutting into his back.

“I’m… sorry, Dean,” he manages to say, turning his head on the side so he won’t have his whole face planted onto Dean’s chest.

He can hear Meg and the other slave’s muffled voices behind the door, so he tries to keep his own voice quiet.

Dean doesn’t react, as usual, but Gabriel can feel his heart beating faster.

“I know you might not want to listen to me, right now,” he keeps whispering, “but I—“

Dean’s hand shoots up, shutting him off. Gabriel just gives Dean’s a questioning look, but Dean’s is looking straight at the door.

“What’s that noise,” the other slave asks on the other side on the door.

“Nothing, you moron,” Meg answers.

“What are you hiding in there?“

“My favorite pillow! What do you think?”

There’s a moment of silence, and the doorknob starts to turn.

“You’re going to check everything I do from now on? I can’t believe you!”

“I don’t trust you…”

The door opens, slightly, the light passing through lighting Dean’s arm.

Meg sighs exaggeratedly. “Right, look if you want. Let’s just waste time here while there’s an archangel scouting the mansion.”

The door slams shut all of a sudden.

“Like it’s my fault,” the slave sneers.

Well it’s not mine either. Now keep looking or we’ll both be fucked!”

“You’re the one who lost the archangel! Why should I help you?”

“You want Zachariah to pay us a visit, is that it? Because you know he won’t care who lost what!”

“No!”

“Then keep looking! I’ll take this floor, you look upstairs. Come on!”

The other slave spits something at her under his breath, and Gabriel can hear him walk away. A few seconds after everything came back to silence, the door opens, and Meg steps aside to let them out.

“That was close,” she whispers.

“Let’s not waste time,” Gabriel answers, pulling Dean from the closet.

Meg quickly takes them down several flights of stairs, to the basement levels, and the lower they go, the shadier everything gets. The cold doesn’t usually bother Gabriel, but he can almost feel it without wanting to. He sees goose bumps appear on Meg’s arms.

 “Here,” Meg says.

They enter a big storage room, where Gabriel can see boxes piling up on top of each other. It’s dark, moldy, and it smells like an old cave. The old brick walls look like they’re about to collapse under the weight of the entire house.

Meg raises her chin, indicating a small door on the other side of the room.

“You can get out through here.”

Gabriel nods, at loss for words. This is it. The last step. And probably the last time Meg and Dean will see each other. She comes closer to Dean, taking his hands in her as she looks up at him.

“You take care, alright?”

It takes a few seconds, but Dean finally looks up into her eyes. She smiles, a tear falling on her cheek.

“Shit. I’m crying. You’re making me cry. I swore I wouldn’t cry,” she half laughs, half sobs, pulling Dean into a crushing hug.

Dean raises his arms, holding her carefully.

“I’ll miss you, Dumbass.” She pulls away, opening the door. “Now go!”

Gabriel didn’t thought he would feel so many emotions on this day, but after all the stress and the fear, seeing this now is making his eyes sting. He can’t tear them apart. He needs to do something. To Hell with Lucifer. He’s already on his Brother’s shit list, might as well make it worth it.

“Come with us,” he says.

His voice echoes in the storage room, louder than he expected. Meg pulls away from Dean, surprised as she stares at Gabriel. “Come with us. I’m already stealing one slave, what’s one more?”

She gapes at him, and finally sighs.

“I- I can’t.”

“Of course you can, I’m telling you. Come with us.”

“I’m…” She quickly glances at Dean, then back at Gabriel. She blinks, looking confused. “There are others here, if I leave, who knows what’s gonna happen to them? I can’t do that. The Master will punish them for me and I can’t live with that. I can’t leave, I can’t…”

She looks up at Dean again, tears filling her eyes. She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. She looks down, sniffling, and when she raises her head again, Gabriel sees resignation in her eyes.

“I can’t leave, I’m sorry.”

Smiling sadly at her, Gabriel pats her back.

 “Be careful, then.”

She smiles, and pulls Dean into a quick hug again.

“Alright, just go, now.” She swings the door open wider as she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “Follow the walls until you get to the garden, then turn on the left and you should see the Gates after that. Good luck.”

Gabriel takes a breath to give himself some courage, and pushes Dean gently through the door ahead of him. He turns back to Meg.

“Thank you.”

She gives him a quick nod and shuts the door.

“We need to make a run for the Gates,” he tells Dean. “We can’t stop, and I can’t fly us out as long as we’re on the property. You get it?”

Dean nods. He seems a bit lost, so Gabriel hopes he understood.

And he starts running.

He holds on to Dean tightly, afraid he’s going to lose him. Dean is nearly outrunning him, but they need to stay together. Gabriel hasn’t run in a very long while, he forgot how tedious it was in a human vessel. But he does, he keeps going, until his lungs burn, but he puts the feeling aside, turning where Meg told him to, and running, running, running.

His heart jumps in his chest when he sees the top of the Gates appear on the horizon, still hidden behind the high bushes of the Garden.

_Gabriel_ , Lucifer’s voice says inside his head.

He blocks the prayer. Or at least he tries to.

_You’re going to regret it. Come back inside and we’ll talk._

“Fuck off!”

He keeps running, even as he feels Lucifer’s thoughts slowly insinuating inside his mind, making his head throb. Dean is still here, but the more they run, the more his breath sounds labored, and he’s losing his footing, tripping over bits of rocks. But Gabriel keeps pulling him by the arm. If he has to carry him he’ll do it. They’re almost there.

_You know what I can do, Gabriel. Don’t try me._

The path clears, and finally he can see the Gates fully, standing in front of them, their golden arches shining under the moonlight. They run, and run, and the Gates come closer with each step. They’re almost there, almost there.

_Gabriel!_

Lucifer’s voice echoes in Gabriel’s head, splitting his skull for a second, and Gabriel falls on his knees with a sharp cry. Dean’s momentum takes him a few steps away, not even ten feet from the other side of the property, but he stops, turning around to wait for Gabriel.

Pushing against Lucifer’s power, trying to make the pain stop, Gabriel stands up. One foot on the ground, then the other. They’re right here, right in front of the Gates.

“Dean…” he tries.

But his voice doesn’t carry.

“Gabriel, you’re being childish,” Lucifer’s voice says again.

But this time when Gabriel sees Dean’s eyes widen, he knows it’s not just in his head. He turns around, slowed down by the throbbing headache Lucifer is inducing. His Brother is here, standing tall, his brow furrowed in anger.

“You really thought you could pull that off?”

“Dean… run! GO!”

Lucifer’s laugh is humorless. “And where would he go? He knows I’d go after him once I’m done with you.”

He steps closer to Gabriel, and Gabriel takes a step back, instinctively. His whole Grace is vibrating with alarm.

“Leave him alone,” Gabriel tries.

The pain makes his voice shake, and Lucifer laughs.

“And what are you going to do if I don’t? There’s nothing you can do against me, little Brother. I taught you everything you know.” He turns to Dean, his gaze calculating. “And Dean, if you leave, you know what happens to your friend, right?” His smile turns devilish. “I’ll flay her alive, bit by bit, I’ll make her scream for days, until she can’t make a sound anymore, then I’ll rip her apart, and put her back together so I can start all over again. Is that what you want?”

Gabriel takes another step back, his arm extended behind him in search of Dean. He has to keep his eyes on Lucifer. Distract him.

“What you’re doing, it’s wrong,” he says.

Straightening up, as much as he can, he takes another step back.

“Why? Because they’re human?” Lucifer takes a step forward, raising an eyebrow. “Please, Gabriel. Don’t let your fetish get to your head.”

The pain gets unbearable again and Gabriel winces, trying not to close his eyes under the weight of it.

“Why does it matter so much to you? I’m just taking Dean home, and that’s it. That’s all it is, Lucifer.”

Lucifer’s features twist in rage, suddenly.

“NO! IT’S NOT!” He takes another step forward, forcing Gabriel to take one back. “You’re taking something that’s mine, and I won’t let that pass!”

Gabriel feels Dean’s hand on his. His heart jump inside his chest. Almost there.

“We haven’t signed anything, he’s still mine,” he tries.

Lucifer snorts. “Do you think I care about your contracts? We’re only using human laws so they’ll submit to us!”

Dean his holding his hand so tightly Gabriel’s pretty sure it would have hurt if he was human. He squeezes back, in hope of reassuring Dean.

“Well, I’m taking him anyway.”

They need to run. Gabriel has lost all sense of distance. He doesn’t know if they’re close. He just knows they need to get out, now.

“What are you going to do? Fight me?”

Gabriel lets out a breath. “No.”

He turns around, abruptly, pulling Dean with him, and he runs. Hopefully, he just has to take three steps to cross the threshold of the Gates. Once his foot touch the ground on the other side, he spreads his wings, turning around so he can take Dean into his arms.

As he flies away, he feels his physical body dissipating, but there’s a sharp burn on one of his wing. It’s not normal. Something happened. He hears Lucifer’s voice one last time before everything turns to a blur of molecules.

_You’ll regret this, Brother._

~*~

He lands hard, on his back, on something soft, still clutching at Dean. The human pushes himself away, rolling on the side.

“Dean!!”

Gabriel opens his eyes. Sam is already running to his brother. They’re in the mansion. They did it. He did it. He brought Dean back. They’re in the room he let Sam sleep in, in Castiel’s quarters. He landed on the bed.

The burn on his wings doesn’t go away, though. It only increases, and he winces.

“Gabriel,” Castiel says. He’s close. Gabriel can feel his weight on the bed next to him. “Are you okay?”

“ ‘M fine.”

He closes his eyes again, trying to feel his Grace, his wings, beyond the realm of physicality. It’s like a punch to the guts when he realizes one of his right wings is almost torn apart, burned to the bones. Lucifer burned his wing. He could have done much worse. He can’t believe it, because he knows it only means one thing.

His Brother tried to kill him.

He sits up. “We need to put up some protection. The strongest we can find.”

He looks on his left, where Dean is now sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at his feet. Sam is crouching in front of him, worry evident on his face.

“Dean? Say something…”

“He doesn’t talk,” Gabriel says, quiet. “Hasn’t in a while.”

Sam stares at him, his gaze questioning, before he turns to his brother again.

“Dean…”

It seems it’s the only word he can get out. _Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean_.

Gabriel needs to get out of here. But first he needs to do something about Dean’s injuries. There are still bruises on his face, the burn on his neck. Probably something broken or twisted in one of his hips, judging by the way he walked and ran. Gabriel still has enough Grace to make him comfortable, for now.

He get up on the other side on the bed, slowly walking to Sam and Dean. Sam looks up at him when he gets close, and Gabriel deliberately takes his time to lift two fingers up toward Dean’s forehead. Sam pulls away a little, and that’s all the permission Gabriel needs.

But when Dean realizes what Gabriel is doing he jumps and lean back, looking scared.

“It’s okay, Dean, I’m just going to heal you,” Gabriel says, soothing.

He tries to come close to Dean again but Dean slaps his hand away and turn his back on them, lying on the side.

“Dean…” Sam repeats for the hundredth time.

He tries to stroke Dean’s shoulder, but Dean shrugs his hand away.

“Wha--”

“Come on, Sam,” Castiel comes in. “Dean needs to rest. And we need to protect the house against Lucifer.”

Sam blinks a few times, disappointment crossing his features, before he pushes himself up and follows Castiel out. Gabriel goes with them. There’s no point in harassing Dean now. Maybe it’ll get better once he slept.

~*~

They put every protection they can think about, the three of them, Cas, Sam and Gabriel. Gabriel hopes it’s going to be enough. Lucifer knows every trick in the book.

Once they get back inside, they settle in the reception room. Gabriel throws himself on the couch, and Cas sits next to him. Sam remains standing, and he sighs.

“How long do you think it’ll hold Lucifer back?”

“Not long,” Gabriel answers, fear twisting his guts. “A few days. A couple weeks at best. He knows how to diffuse all of the spell we put up, but it’s going to take him some time.”

Sam nods. “We need to get ready.”

Gabriel feels so tired, he doesn’t have the strength to yell at Sam for how crazy he is. He half laughs, unhappily.

“You want to fight my brother?”

“Yes.”

“Are you crazy? Look at us! Cas is human, I used almost all of my Grace getting Dean back, and it’s gonna take a long while to recharge. What do you want us to do?”

“But you still have your blade,” Castiel states.

Gabriel turns to him, wide eyes.

“Cas. No.”

“What do you think Lucifer will do once he gets through the protections? We at least need to prepare our defense.”

Anger overtaking him, Sam leans over, until Gabriel’s and his face are leveled.

“Listen to me,” he says, his voice shaking with rage, “this is your mess. You put everyone in this house in danger, so now you need to clean it up and protect them. It’s either this, or I’ll be the one taking care of your miserable ass, do you understand?”

Castiel shifts next to Gabriel.

“Sam…”

“No, Cas,” Sam exclaims, straightening up. “You’ve seen Dean, you know it’s all on him. I’m tired of playing nice.”

Gabriel sighs, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

“If we do this… if we fight…” he opens his eyes, looking up at Sam, “you’re aware there’s a good chance we’ll die?”

Sam grits his jaw.

“I’m ready for it. Are you?”

Averting Sam’s gaze, Gabriel doesn’t answer. Instead, he sighs, and stands up slowly.

“Where are you going?”

Sam’s voice is still full of anger, hailing Gabriel as he steps out of the room.

“Gabriel…” Castiel says as Gabriel closes the door.

But neither of them makes a move to run after him. The truth is, Gabriel is tired. He can’t fight. He’s not strong enough. He can’t believe he did what he did tonight. Now, he feels empty, and alone. Nobody gets it. Lucifer can absolutely not be defeated. And he is his brother. Gabriel can’t kill his brother. He can’t even think about it.

He feels miserable after what happened to Dean. Sam is right, everything’s on him. And if Lucifer comes to get his revenge, then everybody here is in danger. Everybody will die.

He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand Lucifer anymore. He doesn’t understand why he wants Dean so bad, why he wants to hurt Gabriel, what this whole revenge thing is all about. It doesn’t make any sense.

Heavens, he wishes someone could give him some answers. He feels so lost!

He’s been thinking about this so hard that he didn’t notice where he was going, until he looks up and realizes he’s standing in front of the room Dean’s in. He almost turns back, but something pulls at him, urging him to go inside. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t bother Dean. Not now.

But he opens the door anyway, enters the room as quietly as he can, and, closing the door behind him, tip toes around the bed until he can see Dean’s face. Dean’s sleeping on his side, his face turned toward the window, and the chair in front of it. Carefully, Gabriel sits, and just stares at the human for a while, trying to empty his mind.

After some time, maybe ten minutes, maybe an hour, he doesn’t know, his wing starts throbbing again. But there’s nothing he can do about it. If he hadn’t rejected Michael, then maybe he could have called him, ask him for some Grace to soothe the burn. But he can’t. So he remains as still as a statue, and waits.

Dean looks peaceful in his sleep. From time to time, a whine escapes him, and his brows furrow in fear, but it doesn’t last long. Gabriel wants to wake him up, and hold him, tell him everything’s okay now. But he knows he can’t, because everything’s his fault. He has no right to.

Dean stirs, taking Gabriel out of his thoughts. He opens his eyes, freezing when he sees Gabriel in the chair. Gabriel, surprised, can’t find anything to say. He wasn’t expecting Dean to wake up.

“I’m sorry…” he whispers, as if talking to a frightened animal. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Dean still doesn’t move, his whole body locked tight in alarm.

“I just… I don’t know why I’m here, actually,” Gabriel goes on. “I needed some place calm, I guess…”

He avoids Dean’s gaze and looks around, trying to find something to talk about. But the only thing he can think to say is ‘I’m sorry’, over and over again. He can’t say that. He doesn’t deserve to apologize. And Dean deserves so much more than that.

He takes a breath. “I… I know I did things wrong, and I’m trying to fix them…” he bows his head, looking at his knees. “But I think I… I don’t know. I fucked up again, and now Lucifer is probably trying to get his revenge and I don’t know what to do… I don’t want to fight him. I can’t. He’s too strong.” Looking up, he gives Dean a tired look. “I don’t know why I’m telling you that. You’re probably the last person I should talk to…”

Dean is slightly more relaxed than he was a minute before, and so Gabriel keeps talking.

“The thing is, your brother… he’s very stubborn, but he doesn’t get it. Even Cas doesn’t get it. He hates Luci too much… I just think maybe...” he sights, “I was going to say ‘maybe we should talk to him’, but I guess we’re way past the talking phase…”

Slowly, Dean curls up on himself, his posture relaxing, and he blinks, as if saying he’s waiting for Gabriel to continue.

“I wish you could answer me… I wish… so many things. It would be easier if you could talk to me, yell at me if you want to…” Dean is staring straight into his eyes, now. “But I guess you can’t, can you? Or else you’d already have given me an earful. You’d probably have tried to punch me, knowing you…”

Gabriel smiles when he says it, but the expression on Dean’s face doesn’t change. It looks like he wants to say so much, though. Gabriel wonders what’s happening inside his head. He can’t help but stare back at the human’s familiar face. He recognizes his eyes, his freckles. But there’s an ugly bruise on his cheek, he looks like he lost a lot of weight, and he sees a desperation there he never saw before.

“Dean…” he breathes, sliding from the chair to his knees, until he’s right in front of the bed, “May I…?”

He lifts his hand, as gently as he can. He can’t stand seeing Dean like this. He needs to heal him. Dean’s body seems to tighten in fear, first, but he relaxes, almost reluctantly, it seems, and sits up. Gabriel comes closer, still careful but fully intending to be quick, afraid Dean will change his mind and pull away again. He sits on the bed, to be closer to Dean, as Dean removes his shirt. Gabriel’s about to tell him it’s not necessary when he sees Dean start to fumble with the opening of his pants.

And he realizes what Dean thought he just asked.

“No! No no no no!”

He grabs Dean’s hands, stopping him from pulling his pants down.

“I didn’t mean…” his vessel wants to blush. He prevents it. “That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry I… I just…”

But Dean takes Gabriel’s hand and lifts it up to press it against his chest.

Gabriel’s mouth is suddenly dry. “Dean…”

Dean is looking straight at him, the same vacant expression he wore at Lucifer’s on his face. Gabriel’s heart is hammering against his ribcage, but it’s not because he’s scared anymore. They’re so close. Dean’s skin is cool under Gabriel’s hand. He would only have to bend over to kiss him. To kiss his fear away. Worship every ounce of his body with his tongue.

He can’t do that. That’s just wrong. Not after everything.

Reluctantly, he takes his hand away, and hands Dean his shirt back.

“That’s not what I meant.” Dean looks… Gabriel can’t tell. He doesn’t even know if he’s really here with him, actually. The Dean he knows would never do something like this. “I would never… especially not after what happened… I would never take advantage of you that way. Believe me.” He lifts his hand up against. “I just want to heal you.”

Dean turns his head away, putting his shirt back on. When Gabriel tries to bring his hand close again, Dean avoids it. It’s not as violent a rejection as it was a few hours earlier. But it still hurts.

“Dean, please…”

But Dean lies down again, turning his back on Gabriel. Gabriel doesn’t understand him. He just wants to help. Why won’t he let him help? But he doesn’t want to press on. He doesn’t want to pressure Dean and scare him for good. He still has hope that the human will come back to himself after a bit of rest.

He sighs. “I’m sorry…”

It’s all he can let out, for now. Slowly, he stands up, and leaves the room. He’ll try again another time.

 


	17. The worst part is when I wake up

# CHAPTER 17 : The worst part is when I wake up

 

One day, Dean wakes up, and he’s not at Lucifer’s anymore. At first, he’s disoriented. And scared. He doesn’t dare move for a long while, until someone comes in the nice room he’s in. It takes him a bit of an effort to recognize Jessica. And he feels bad about that afterwards. He knows her, it hasn’t been that long since he left, or at least he doesn’t think it’s been long. He doesn’t know what day it is, or what month. Maybe it’s been a few years? He can’t tell. But surely he should’ve recognized her at first glance.

Slowly, after she left and he ate a bit of what she brought him, he remembers what happened. Meg. Gabriel. Sam. Cas. He remembers how he got here. And he can’t stand it. He can’t stand to know he owes his life to Gabriel. He can’t stand the crippling fear taking over him when he thinks about the way they left Lucifer’s house. He knows the archangel will probably come after him. He’s in no shape to fight. He knows it means death. Or worse.

He can’t think about it. His brain feels like it’s been scrambled. Thinking for too long just hurts. So he sleeps, a lot.

When he wakes up, sometimes there’s someone to see him. Oftentimes it’s Sam. Sam talks to him, pleads with him to just _say something, Dean!_ But Dean can’t. The words, the sounds get stuck in his throat. He can’t even open his mouth. It’s like his body is fighting against him. It’s exhausting. So he avoids Sam’s eyes, and he sleeps.

When he sleeps, he dreams. Weird, uncomfortable dreams. His whole body aches, night and day, and so he aches in his dreams, too. Sometimes, it wakes him up, but most of the time it turns the dream into a nightmare, images of Lucifer on top of him, pulling at his skin, cutting, probing, stabbing, until Dean is nothing more than a heap of flesh. He wakes up in sweat, clutching at his neck until he remembers there’s no collar to pull at anymore. It’s just a burn, nothing more. It’s not real. For now, it’s not real. But there’s always the fear it’ll become real again. It usually keeps Dean awake long enough that someone else comes in, and tries to talk to him, tries to keep him company.

He doesn’t dare turn his back on them, because he knows they only want to help. But the truth is, he needs to be alone. He can’t stand having people around. So he tries to tune out their voices. Or sometimes he tries to turn their voices into Meg’s voice. He misses her. But then he thinks about what Lucifer said he’d do to her, and he can’t think about her anymore. So he listens to what the others babble about.

“You know you can take a shower if you want, Sweetie,” Mrs. Herbert is saying, “Jessica probably showed you. Right behind you, see that other door? That’s a bathroom, just for you. Master Gabriel made the boys buy some things so you’d be comfortable. So don’t hesitate.”

He doesn’t look where she’s pointing. He noticed there was another door near the exit. But he didn’t even think about what could be behind it. Now he knows. He’s not sure it changes things for him. He doesn’t want to move. He doesn’t want to do anything. He feels stuck. In time. In this bed. In his own skin.

She keeps speaking, but he barely listens. He hears her mention ‘Master Gabriel’ from time to time, and he wants to tell her to shut her mouth. He doesn’t want to hear about Gabriel. He doesn’t want to think about him. This is all about him. Now Dean feels dead because of him. He killed Dean. With his stubbornness and his weird ideals about humans, he killed Dean, and there’s no bringing him back.

Dean doesn’t feel anything, that’s the first clue. That’s how he knows he’s barely alive anymore. He doesn’t feel love when he sees Sam, doesn’t feel happiness when he sees Charlie, doesn’t feel sadness or empathy when he sees Jordan. He doesn’t feel a thing beside annoyance. And fear. Fear is always here, nestled around his heart, and every time he wakes up, every time he manages to forget about Lucifer, then something reminds him, and the terror comes back. It’s exhausting. He wants it to stop, but there’s nothing he can do about it.

There’s also the pain. It’s here, all the time. All over his body, the soreness that almost paralyzes him at times, from everything that has been done to him. The burn on his neck wakes him up regularly. The stabbing pain inside his chest sharpens when he thinks about Lucifer, about Meg. But he doesn’t let Gabriel heal him. He doesn’t want any angel using their powers on him anymore. He lets Jessica take care of his wounds, though. But he doesn’t take the painkillers she leaves next to his food every time. He doesn’t trust the drugs. He wants to be as alert as he can be.

He can’t express any of this, though. Because he can’t open his mouth. He can’t talk. He wants to, but he can’t. And he doesn’t get why.

“You know, I’ve heard about something in class, once…” Jessica suddenly says out of nowhere as she’s taking care of the burn on his neck. “I mean… I only had an introduction to psychology class, but… the teacher told us about something called ‘selective mutism’… I remembered that yesterday and I thought I’d tell you about it.”

She finishes what she’s doing, wiping her hands on her dress.

“She said it was more common during childhood but it could happen to adults after a traumatic event… I guess that fits your description. I noticed you never answer people, but you don’t look at us either. So I figured, maybe it’s because you can’t talk, and when you don’t look at us it makes us leave faster. But I could be wrong.”

For the first time in a long while, Dean looks up and stares at her, really stares into her eyes, surprised. It makes sense. Everything she said makes sense. For a second he forgets he can’t open his mouth and he tries to ask ‘how do I get rid of this, then?’ But obviously, it doesn’t work.

“You’re probably wondering how to get better, huh?” She sits on the side of the bed, her hands in her lap. “I don’t really know, actually… but I think… rest could do you some good. And you need time, Dean. The Master didn’t want to tell us what happened but I’ve been taking care of your wounds for a couple days and I can tell it was bad. So maybe you need time. I’m sorry I can’t help you more than that…”

Dean sighs and looks down again.

“Don’t worry. From what your brother told me and what I saw, you’re a strong man. You’ll get through this. And we’re here to help if you need us.”

She pats his knee. He nods, letting her know he heard her. When he looks up again, she’s smiling.

After that, she leaves, and he finds himself alone with his own thoughts again. It’s tough, and he doesn’t know what to do about it, because being with people is worse, but being alone is pretty bad in itself. He wants to do something, but he doesn’t know what. And he can’t find the will to do anything.

So he sleeps again.

Next time he wakes up, it’s dark outside. He doesn’t know how long he’s been here. He doesn’t care. But there’s a noise next to him and so he opens his eyes, tired even after he slept, even before he has to endure another speech from one of his well-intended friends.

But the face he sees when he turns his head is not one he was expecting.

“Hey…” Gabriel whispers when he sees Dean’s awake.

He smiles, trying to be nice, probably, but Dean can’t help but stare angrily back at him.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing…” the archangel adds.

And Dean wants to rip his throat open with his bare teeth. He can’t stand the look of pure sadness on Gabriel’s face. It’s like the whole world’s resting on his shoulders. Like he’s the one the worst things happened to. Dean can’t believe it. He can’t believe Gabriel made it all about himself, once again.

“I’ve been thinking… about what to do… and I guess your brother’s right. We have to fight, there’s no other choice…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

It makes Dean’s blood boil with rage. He wants to tell him he doesn’t care. He wants to scream at him to just leave him alone. But he can’t.

“I just thought you’d want to know.”

No, he doesn’t. Dean doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, and he doesn’t want to see Gabriel, won’t the archangel understand? _Fuck off_ , he wants to say. He pushes, and pushes, and tries to get the words out, but all he manages is a slight huff.

“Sam says you’d probably want to be a part of it so… we’re trying to come up with a plan. You’re welcome to join, when you feel like it.”

He wipes his hands on his jeans in a nervous gesture and waits for something, maybe a sign that Dean heard him, but Dean doesn’t move.

“Right… I’ll… I’ll let you rest, now.”

Gabriel stands up, looking like he wants to say something else, do something maybe, but he doesn’t dare, and he leaves.

Dean is tired. He’s so tired. And he’s angry. At Gabriel. At himself for only feeling strongly when the archangel is concerned. Gabriel is the only one giving him such intense emotions. It makes him feel so awful, rotten almost. He wishes he could feel for his brother, or even Castiel. But the only person he feels something for, even if it’s rage, and anger, and disgust, is Gabriel, and it makes him sick.

He tries to empty his mind. He settles on his side, under the comforter, making himself comfortable, and he stares out the window. He doesn’t want to think anymore. He just can’t. So he watches the clouds, the sky, the birds, and the stars at night.

One day, he’s sitting in his bed, looking out the window, when everything breaks.

The window is half open, a nice breeze is coming in. The birds sing, and the ray of sunlight that reaches him warms his face nicely. He’s still thinking about what happened at Lucifer’s. How can he not? He has more and more trouble emptying his mind, and even when he tries to push the memories away, they come back. They always come back.

In that moment, they’re not worse than usual. The memories are just here, nagging at his mind. But somehow, and he doesn’t understand why, his face contorts in pain, a sadness like no other filling his heart and he starts crying. The tears start flowing and flowing and flowing and it doesn’t stop. His heart is heavy with _something_ , and it’s all coming out in one go. It takes his breath away, and his chest heaves under the weight of everything.

After a while, he feels gross, snot filling his nose, and he climbs above the comforter, almost running to the bathroom. His body is still hurting, but it’s easy to ignore. He locks the door, grabs the roll of toilet paper and sits on the floor, his back on the door and he cries, he cries and the sound of his own voice is unbearable to hear but he can’t stop it. From time to time, he blows his nose, he takes a breath, and he thinks it’s over. But a memory, something Lucifer said, something Sam said, or even something Gabriel said comes back to him, and the tears start again. He fears he’s never going to stop.

He doesn’t know how long he remains sitting on the floor, crying his eyes out, but at some point he dozes off. When he wakes up, his eyes are still wet, and his nose is still full, but he feels lighter. He drags himself into the bed again, his body sore from staying in the same position for so long. He falls asleep right away, and for once, he doesn’t dream. He doesn’t wake up drenched in sweat, and it’s a relief. He feels… ready. To do what, he doesn’t know. But he is.

Slowly, he gets out of bed, and goes to the bathroom again. For the first time in a long time, he looks at his reflection in the mirror, and it almost makes him cry again. Dean is dead. Someone else is staring back at him. Someone broken, with big black shadows under his eyes, uneven scruff, an ugly bruise on the side of his face, hair longer than ever. An emaciated face, sad, and pale. Sick. It’s such a shock. Dean can’t take his eyes off of himself. Not for a long minute.

He looks down after that, unable to hold his own gaze any longer. He shifts on his feet, and it wakes up the old pain between his legs, the one that never leaves, the one he doesn’t want to think about. He realizes he’s still wearing the slave clothes he was wearing at Lucifer’s. And he can’t stand them anymore, suddenly.

He walks out of the bathroom, looking around the bedroom. He remembers Sam saying something about his ‘stuff’. Spotting his duffel bag at the foot on the bed, he takes it with him as he goes inside the bathroom again, locking the door behind him.

He throws the duffel bag on the floor, and the clothes he’s wearing soon follow. Just as Mrs. Herbert said, there’s everything he needs in the shower stall. The water is blissfully warm, the pressure just right, and he tries not to think about Meg and the night that started everything as he scrubs his body thoroughly.

Looking at himself once he’s all cleaned up feels slightly better. But the thick stubble on his cheeks is bothering him. There’s no razor in sight, so he digs into his duffle bag, and finds his own. Facing the mirror above the sink again, he stops for a while. The razor is in his hand, and he stares at it, stares at the blades. He wants to run his thumb on them, see how sharp they are. He wants to see how smoothly it would run on the scars of his neck.

He keeps his gaze fixed on the blades until his eyes start watering.

It would be too easy. It would be a failure. And besides, he doesn’t want to die, not really. He just feels the urge to see what his blood would look like as it would pour out of his throat.

But he doesn’t act on the thought. He wants to, but he fights the urge.

He shaves. Plainly, simply. It makes things worse. He looks haunted, like a starving ghost. Pale, and thin, and unrecognizable.

Putting his own clothes on, one of Sam’s T-shirt, or maybe it was his dad’s, his oldest plaid shirt and a pair of good old jeans, bleached by hundreds of cheap laundromat washings, Dean feels a bit more like himself. But, not quite.

He stares at his reflection some more, and he takes his time, before he opens his mouth and tries to speak again.

He takes a breath.

“Son of a bitch,” he lets out.

A whisper is all he manages, but it’s something. He sighs in relief at finding his voice back. Now all he needs is to get out of this room, and join the others.

It takes him a long time. First he paces his room for a while. Then he sits on his bed, wondering if he’s ever going to make it out of here. He doesn’t know what to do. What if he’s not allowed to get out? Nobody told him he could. He’s so stupid. He should just stay here, and wait for Jess, or Mrs. Herbert. Then he could ask, at least.

But Gabriel said he was welcome to join them any time. So that means he’s allowed, right? And if he’s not, the door will be locked. Probably. He’s being ridiculous. He needs to move, now.

His stomach gives a protesting growl. That’s what makes him move in the end.

Walking down the stairs is a whole new ordeal in itself. Dean’s legs feel like they’ve been trampled by a herd of elephants. Every flex of his muscles sends sparks of pain up his spine, and it takes him a while before he reaches the first floor. It also brings the pain between his legs back to life, shame creeping up his body, heating his face, and making him regret his decision to come out of the bedroom. He almost turns back when he hears the others’ voices coming from the reception room. But he doesn’t. He needs to do this. He needs to come back to the land of the living, or else he’s never going to get passed all of the shit that went down.

The door to the room is half open, and everyone is listening to Castiel in rapt attention, so Dean takes a few seconds to listen to what they’re saying, and to prepare himself.

“I’m sorry, Master,” Jessica is saying, “but why did you wait until now to tell us?”

“We didn’t want to scare you,” Gabriel says.

He’s sitting on the couch behind Cas, Sam next to him, as they both look up at Castiel who’s standing in front of all the slaves. They’re all standing at attention, too.

Castiel gives Gabriel a look, and he doesn’t seem very pleased.

“Yes, but we changed our minds,” Cas says, looking back at the slaves. “Better have you on your guard and ready, even if it means scaring you a little.”

Dean sees Charlie exchange a look with Gilda, raising an eyebrow at her as if to say ‘understatement of the year’.

“So, like we told you,” Castiel goes on, “Lucifer is coming, and he’s coming soon. We don’t know when, but we want to be ready for him. If you want to fight with us, it’s entirely your choice. We’ll be happy to have you. If you don’t, then you won’t be punished. We’ll protect you. We just need to know where you stand.”

The slaves all look at each other, like they don’t know what to think about all of this. Dean thinks they just don’t know how to handle the choice they’re given, even if ‘choice’ isn’t the word Dean would use here. It’s either die hiding or die fighting.

“You don’t have to answer now,” Castiel goes on, “but if you want to fight you’d better decide fast, because we don’t have much time left to train you.”

Nobody says anything, and a few seconds pass in silence. Dean’s about to make his entrance, taking advantage of the awkwardness in the room, but Jordan raises her hand. Dean is shocked when she takes a step forward and he sees her hair is short. Did Gabriel do that?

“What about Dean, Master?”

Castiel turns to look at Gabriel and Sam before he answers.

“Dean is… it’s complicated. He’s sick, you know that. I don’t think he wants us to bother him with this.”

“What do you know? Maybe he does,” Dean comes in, stepping inside the room.

Okay, he couldn’t help it. It was the perfect opportunity to make himself known. When all gazes turn to him, he feels like he’s going to throw up, but he stands his ground. He can do this. He knows he can. He just has to avoid looking at Gabriel.

He tries to smile. He thought maybe they’d all run to hug him. Maybe Sam would yell ‘Dean!’ and run to him too. But nothing happens.

“Don’t act too happy, I’d get suspicious…” he says.

He’s starting to sweat, he can feel it slide down his back. He can’t help clenching and unclenching his fists, because he doesn’t know what to do. The urge to put his hands behind his back and kneel right here is so strong. The only thing holding him back is the presence of his brother in the room.

“Dean.”

Dean doesn’t turn to look. Of all people, Gabriel had to be the one to speak first.

“Uh,” Sam supplies, helpfully.

Dean sighs. Castiel clears his throat.

“Sorry, Dean, we weren’t expecting you to… how are you doing?”

Dean shrugs in answer. “I’ll tell you when I figure it out. What’re y’all talking about?”

He talks fast, afraid he’ll lose it if he stops. He tries to focus on them, for now. He’ll think about himself later. He doesn’t want them to ask those kind of questions, because he can’t answer them, and it scares the hell out of him.

Blinking, Castiel seems to remember he was here for a purpose. “We were… uh, do you want to sit?”

Again, another question he can’t answer. Should he go on his right with the other slaves, or should he join his brother on his left? He doesn’t want to be near Gabriel, though. But he can’t really—Shit.

“I’m good here, thanks,” he answers.

They keep staring at him like he’s a strange animal just escaped from the zoo.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

He’s tired. He should have waited before coming out of the room. He’s not ready for this. He tries to look at Sam but he only manages to find Gabriel’s gaze weighting heavily on him, a look of self-pity and shame on his face. Fuck. Anger swells up in his chest and he looks away.

Castiel has the decency to look apologetic, and he’s about to talk when Sam finally reacts, standing up and almost tackling Dean as he takes him in his arms. Dean’s body lit up with pain. He hisses, not able to hold that one little sound back, making Sam jolt away.

“Sorry, sorry, did I hurt you? Shit, sorry.”

Sam slowly cups Dean’s face with his friggin’ huge hands and looks at every patch of skin available to assess his injuries. Dean can’t really blame him. That’s what they usually do. But after a while Dean has to slap his hands away. They’re in public, for fuck’s sake!

“I’m fine, Sam,” he mumbles.

Sam smiles sheepishly at him, and tries to pull him toward the couch, but Dean starts back without really wanting to. It’s just too familiar, the Masters facing the slaves, and Dean doesn’t feel like he belongs on one of those sides. He’s just lost, not knowing where he stands, now, and not knowing what to do. He’s lost, so lost and his head starts spinning.

Sam frowns. “Dean…”

“Okay, everybody on the floor,” Gabriel chirps, sliding from the couch.

Mrs. Herbert gives him an offended look. “Excuse me?!”

“Well, sit on the couch if it makes you feel better. Come on everybody. Sit.”

He pats the floor next to him, and all the slaves hesitantly bend down, some more eagerly than the others. Castiel just sighs but sits next to his brother, and soon there’re only Sam and Dean left standing. Mrs. Herbert took a place on the couch, like Gabriel told her she could, and everybody is looking at Dean and Sam expectantly. Dean feels his cheeks get hot, but he has to admit it’s not a bad idea, even if it hurts him to think so, knowing Gabriel is the one who thought about it.

Sam finally gives up, sitting down, and he pulls Dean with him. This is one of the weirdest moments Dean’s ever lived in this mansion, and he’s done some pretty crazy shit around here.

He clears his throat. “Right, now that everybody’s uncomfortable, can someone tell me what’s happening?” He looks around. “What were you talking about?”

“Master Gabriel wants us to fight Master Lucifer,” Jordan says, her face as straight as if she was giving him the weather.

He turns to her, on his right, and raises an eyebrow at her.

“Great idea,” Dean deadpans.

“We have no other choice,” Castiel comes in.

Dean eyes him, trying not to see Gabriel next to him. Indifference is the best punishment, right?

“Okay, tell me what you planned.”

Castiel speaks for a long while, explaining to Dean everything that happened ever since he escaped the first time. He tells him about how he met Sam, how Lucifer manipulated Gabriel, making it seem like Gabriel is just a poor little victim in all this, and Dean has to grit his teeth real hard not to get angry hearing that. He apologizes to Dean, and the other slaves do, too. Finally a heavy silence falls on all of them, and Dean can see they’re all looking at Gabriel, waiting for him to apologize, too, but Dean won’t let him. He doesn’t get the right to do that. He doesn’t deserve anything, as far as Dean’s concerned.

“A’right, well…” he starts as soon as he hears Gabriel take a breath, “I guess we have lots o’ work to do. So let’s get started if we wanna get a shot at this…”

He tries to get up, but there’s a sharp pain in one of his hips and he falls on his butt. Which doesn’t help. Trying not to show the pain, he sighs. Sam helps him up, and everyone follows.

“You can’t fight in your state,” Castiel just says, matter-of-factly.

Dean gives him the bitchiest look he can muster, but one look at Sam tells Dean he’s not gonna get out of this discussion easily.

“Dean, let him heal you.”

Dean snorts and turns to leave. “No.”

Sam grabs his arm and pulls him back. “Don’t be a baby.”

“You’re making everyone uncomfortable, Sammy, just let me go.”

“Not until you stop pretending everything’s fine!” He’s angry, now. “You can barely walk! You’re not fit to take on an archangel! It’s either you let Gabriel heal you or you don’t fight with us!!”

Dean doesn’t know what to say to that, and as soon as Sam raised his voice he couldn’t help but look down, suddenly paralyzed. He can’t move, can’t think of anything to say, because there’s menace in Sam’s voice, and even though Dean knows his brother would never hurt him, his body reacts to the threat, anyway.

He wants to fall on his knees so bad, resisting the need seems to take away all his strength and it makes him want to throw up. Shit, he’s so weak he feels like crying, now.

“Let me go, Sam.” His voice is so weak he sounds like a little kid to his own ears.

“Dean, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sca—“

“Okay, I’ll let him, just… not now, alright?”

He flees the room. As fast as he can, he climbs up the stairs, and locks himself inside the nice room. It’s warm there, there’s no noise, and nobody to look at him with pity. Nobody to yell at him. Nobody to tell him what he has to do.

~*~

A knock on the door wakes Dean up, and he startles, frightened and confused, until he remembers where he is. There’s another knock, insistent, and Dean turns around, realizing he’s sitting on the floor, his back to the door. He stands, slowly, and opens the door. It’s Sam.

“Hey.”

Still a bit foggy from sleeping on the floor, Dean blinks at him. He feels exhausted.

“Hey,” he croaks.

“Are you okay?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I’m fine, Sam…”

“Sorry, I just… I had to ask.”

They stare at each other, and Sam clearly is uncomfortable. Dean knows something is going to happen, and he’s not going to like it. He steels himself. Sam clears his throat.

“So, um. About what we discussed earlier… you know, the healing thing. It would be a good idea to do it now.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Lucifer is closing in on us,” Sam sighs, and he hesitates when he says the archangel’s name. “We need to be ready. You need to be ready, Dean.”

Looking down, Dean lets out a shaky laugh.

“Okay, I’ll just… go fetch Gabriel, I guess…”

“No need,” Gabriel says, as he appears behind Sam.

Dean can’t help but cringe. He tries not to show how nauseous it makes him feel just seeing the archangel. He can’t afford to ignore him if they have to fight together.

“Alright, just get to it,” he says, trying to sound like his usual self.

He knows he doesn’t fool anyone, especially not Sam, but at least it helps a little. Acting confident makes him feel a little bit more like it.

He turns his back on his brother and Gabriel, and goes to sit on the bed. Gabriel follows, but Sam lingers in the doorway, unsure of what to do.

“Do you need me to stay?”

Dean’s brain is shooting ‘YES’ as soon as the words leave Sam’s mouth. But he doesn’t need his brother to know how weak he really is. He tries to smile.

“Nah, s’okay, Sammy. Go find Jess, I’m sure that’s all you’re waiting for.”

A blush appears on Sam’s face and he pouts. It’s the first time since forever that Dean feels his heart warm a little at the sight.

“Okay… call for me if you need anything,” he mumbles as he leaves, closing the door behind him.

Dean’s heart starts hammering in his chest as soon as he finds himself alone with Gabriel.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” the angel says.

Carefully, he sits next to Dean. Dean holds back from pulling away.

“I know.”

“You don’t have to be nervous.”

“I know!”

“I won’t do anything you don’t want to—“

“I know! Shut up and do your thing, already!!”

Dean can’t help it. He’s angry, he’s anxious, he’s scared, and everything is just too much. Won’t Gabriel get a clue? He takes a breath.

“Sorry,” he says, trying to calm down. “I’m just… I know. I can’t help it. You’re making me nervous.”

He can’t look into the angel’s eyes when he speaks to him. Instead, he stares at his hands in his lap. Gabriel seems to wait patiently, keeping still. But Dean can’t bring himself to speak.

“Should I…” Gabriel tries after a while.

“Wait a sec.”

“All right.”

There’s another moment of silence. Finally, Dean looks up, and stares at Gabriel. Not directly into his eyes, he can’t, because he still remembers being given the order to do so not so long ago, and it makes his stomach twist unpleasantly.

“Okay. Do it.”

Gabriel raises his hand, slowly, and Dean watches with dread as it approaches his forehead. The moment Gabriel touches his skin Dean can feel it, he can feel the Grace flowing through him, hot and powerful, and his head starts spinning.

He jolts up, as far away from Gabriel as he can. His body doesn’t hurt anymore. But he can’t, he’s panicking, he can feel his breath coming in short little bursts, his chest tightening and his throat closing. Shit. His stomach lurches.

“Dean, are you okay?”

The room is spinning, and he can’t hold back anymore. He runs to the bathroom and throws up as soon as his knees hit the ground in front of the toilet. He hasn’t eaten in a while, and he remembers that somehow, a few hours ago he was hungry, and he regrets not eating anything now as burning bile passes his throat. It doesn’t stop. His stomach heaves, and heaves, and he coughs, trying to find his breath back.

“Dean?”

Gabriel’s still here. God!

Dean’s stomach seems to get better, suddenly, and he almost crawls to the sink to drink some water. When he’s done, he doesn’t know what to do anymore. His whole body is shaking, he’s sweating and still has trouble breathing.

Gabriel is close to him, now, he can feel it. He’s going to be sick again. He knows what would calm him down. He knows but he can’t do that, it’s too humiliating.

“What do you need, Dean, tell me…”

He wants Gabriel to leave him alone but he needs… he needs…

“Sit, just sit somewhere,” he mutters as he closes his eyes.

He hears Gabriel close the lid of the toilet. He turns around, opening his eyes again. With a sigh, he falls on his knees in front of the angel. He can’t look at him, can’t see his reaction. He just holds his hands behind his back, bowing his head, and he looks at the floor. Tears come to his eyes. He lets them fall.

“Don’t let Sam see me like this,” he whispers.

He’s still shaking, his heart is still beating fast, but a strange sense of calmness falls on him. Shit. He’s so weak.

“The door is closed,” Gabriel just answers.

He sounds startled, and sad, and Dean can’t stand it.

“You must be s- so happy, seeing me like this.”

Even to his own ears, Dean sounds bitter. He hates that he’s crying now. He hates himself.

“No. Why would I be?”

Dean snorts. “That’s what you wanted. You w- wanted to break me. Well, here I am. Kneeling at your feet like the f- fuckin’ animal you think I am. Congrats!”

He tries to sound angry, but he fails. He’s just pathetic.

“Dean…” Gabriel hesitates, “I know what you’ve been through, and I know it’s my f—“

“No! You don’t!” Dean spits. “You don’t get to tell me you’re sorry, and you d- don’t know shit. You don’t know what it was like t- to…” He takes a breath. He shouldn’t break down, he knows he shouldn’t but he can’t help it. Might as well do this now while he has the occasion. “I shouldn’t even talk to you. I hate you. I hate you so much I have to p- puke my guts out whenever you touch me!”

He’s out of breath, but the shaking stopped.

“And I hate that y- you’re not even mad anymore. Because now I feel like crap. I’m the b- bad guy, now. That’s not fair.”

“Nobody thinks you’re the bad guy, believe me. Everyone’s trying to help.”

“You don’t.”

“I came to get you, didn’t I?”

“But you’re the one who put me there. You’re… you p- punished me. You gave me up.”

Gabriel sighs. “I know. And I’ll never apologize enough for that.”

Dean closes his eyes. Breathing, slowly, he tries singing something in his head. Usually it helps. But right now, nothing comes.

Suddenly there’s a hand running through Dean’s hair.

“Don’t TOUCH ME!”

Pulling away, Dean turns his back on Gabriel. He’s still on his knees, he’s still crying. He can’t believe he did that. He can’t believe Gabriel took advantage. Fuck! He’s so stupid!

He stands up, even though he doesn’t feel like he can stand for long, and wipes his eyes with his sleeve.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” Gabriel stammers, “I don’t know why I did, I—“

“Shut up, shut up! Don’t come anywhere near me again! We’re done!”

Hesitating, Dean decides he doesn’t want to wait until Gabriel leaves again. He needs something familiar. He needs Sam.

He bolts from the room as fast as he can.

~*~

Turns out they don’t have time to train the slaves who want to help. Lucifer is close. Gabriel can feel him now, which means it’s only a matter of hours until he breaks all the protections around the property.

So they’re all here, with Dean and Gabriel, who so far are avoiding looking at each other, sitting in the reception room, and waiting. The air is heavy with fear. Nobody talks. They just wait.

There’s Bobby and Victor, obviously. Ben wanted to participate but Lisa said no, and that’s not a surprise either. Charlie is here, too. Scrawny little thing thinks she can take on an archangel. Dean doesn’t want her to be here, but she insisted. So he stopped bickering.

When Sam comes back, the tension eases a little.

“They’re all set,” he announces.

They warded the barn, and Gabriel put some extra stuff there so the others who’ll be hiding will be safe and comfortable. Cas is following closely behind Sam, a heavy bag in his arms. He puts it down, opening it to reveal a bunch of weapons Dean and Sam collected over the years.

The angel comes close to Dean and hands him his gun. Dean missed it. Its ivory handle is spotless, cleaner than it’s ever been in years, even though Dean takes really good care of it. So he assumes Gabriel somehow angel-cleaned it. Shit. He won’t thank him for it, that’s for sure. He cocks the gun, testing the sound of it.

Sounds like home.

“Dean, you sure you feel ready for this?”

Dean sighs, turning to his brother. “Yeah, Sammy. Don’t worry about me, shut your cakehole and hand me the holy oil.”

They spend the rest of the evening filling the rocksalt bullets with holy oil. Dean teaches Charlie how to defend herself with an angel blade. They only have three, so Bobby and Victor will have to make do with the shotguns and the Holy oil bullets.

Tension grows again, until finally they have nothing left to do but chat idly while they wait.

Until Gabriel’s head suddenly snaps up, his eyes wide with fear.

“He’s here.”

They all freeze, silence falling on them. Dean’s heart is pouncing so hard against his ribcage he feels like throwing up again. This is it. Dean’s brain seems to stop functioning, and he’s paralyzed all of a sudden, thinking he should have taken advantage of this little break he had here, before he’s taken back to Lucifer’s to endure a life of Hell.

“Dean!” He jumps. Sam. “I’m talking to you!”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry… what?”

“Let’s go! We need to take him outside, remember?”

Dean nods. But he feels like he’s out of his body, like he’s watching everything from a place above his head. He’s not Dean anymore.

He follows his brother.

~*~

Lucifer takes them by surprise. He’s standing on top of the stairs in the entry hall. Slowly, he comes down, one deliberate step at a time.

“Leaving already?”

He smiles, his usual, smug smile, and Dean feels every one of his heart beat sending fear all over his body. But it’s also pumping adrenaline right now, and he tries to focus on that.

“You know that’s not going to kill me,” he tells Dean, indicating the angel blade Dean’s holding.

“Yeah,” Dean snarls, “but I’m pretty sure it can hurt like a bitch.”

Laughing, Lucifer turns to Gabriel. He stops at the foot of the stairs.

“Gabriel. You healed him. I’m disappointed.” His blade appears in his hand, and he starts playing with it, spinning it around. “I’ll have to remedy that once I’m done with you, dear brother.”

“You won’t get out of here alive,” Sam intervenes.

Lucifer arches an eyebrow at him.

“My, my, what do we have here?”

With a flick of his hand he lifts Sam off the floor before anybody can move, or even blink, and he sends him crashing into one of the stairs’ banister. Sam tries to push himself up, once, twice, and he faints. There’s blood on his forehead.

Dean’s heart is beating in his throat. He can’t hear anything else. He can’t move. _Fucking useless stupid Dean, can’t even save his brother. Can’t even protect him. Too much of a pussy to do anything_.

Lucifer crouches next to Sam, and he downright _sniffs_ him. He looks up at Gabriel, surprised but happy in his own weird, twisted way.

“Naughty Gabe forgot to tell me he had a True Vessel at home, didn’t he?”

Gabriel seems to get out of his stupor for the first time since they entered the room.

“What?”

“The boy. Can’t you feel his soul? He’s perfect!”

Slowly, almost reverently, he pushes one strand of hair away from Sam’s face.

“DON’T TOUCH HIM,” Dean yells.

He can’t let Lucifer have Sam as well. He can’t let Sam go through what he’s been through.

“Don’t worry, Dean, you’re still my favorite,” Lucifer answers.

He doesn’t take his eyes off Sam.

“Leave them alone, Lucifer,” Gabriel says, his voice shaking. “Just leave, and nothing will happen to you. Go back to Heaven, leave Earth, and I won’t tell the Council. I’ll find an excuse for you. Leave us alone.”

Lucifer looks up at his Brother, surprised. Standing up, he barks a laugh, and can’t seem to be able to stop.

“Leave? Leave! Gabriel…” He keeps laughing as he takes a step closer to where they’re all herded up together. “Why would I? I own more than half of this country, I own Russia, I own the Netherlands. I’m close to getting the North West part of Africa. Come on. Why would I leave, when I can have all of this?”

Gabriel blinks at him. “Wh—you took over all those lands? But how—the Council would never let you—“

“The Council,” Lucifer spits. “The Council is useless, Brother. Do you really think I need their approval? I just had to make some deals with the owners of those lands. If they refused, I killed them. Simple as that.”

Dean’s head is spinning, swarming with thoughts. He should have known. He should’ve known Lucifer was behind all this. Sam was right, it is too big for them. They shouldn’t have snooped around in the first place. They’re going to die.

Gabriel looks like he’s about to crumble to the ground, his angel blade hanging uselessly in his right hand.

“Why?”

It comes out as a whisper. It seems it’s the only word he can get out.

“You’re so slow, Gabriel,” Lucifer exclaims, rolling his eyes. “Because I can, that’s why! Because Father took everything away from me, he demoted me, and he disappeared on us! Now I’m taking back what’s rightfully mine!!”

He looks down at Gabriel again, his features softening, and his voice becomes smooth, reassuring, like he’s talking to a frightened child.

“Why would I just remain here on Earth, near powerless, taking care of a speck of dirt, when I can own the whole thing and be a God? Be the only God they all need!”

“Wow, you’re seriously damaged,” Charlie says.

Dean turns to her, his brain sending his body into combat mode. She’s so stupid. She looks scared, but she holds her ground, and Dean knows her big mouth is gonna get her killed.

But Lucifer doesn’t say anything, he gives her a condescending look and turns to Gabriel again.

“See, they need guidance. They need to be educated. All of them. We can’t let them damage this beautiful creation any more than they already did.” He tilts his head on the side, almost imploring. “Come with me, help me and I’ll forget your mistakes, Gabriel. Together we can make this right.”

“Don’t listen to him, Gabriel,” Castiel comes in.

Lucifer finally seems to notice him. He frowns.

“Castiel. I thought you’d be dead by now. I guess taking your Grace wasn’t such a good idea. But I thought since you loved humans so much, you deserved to know their fate. How’s life going for you?”

Holding his blade tight, Castiel slowly walks in front of everyone. He’s shielding them, Dean realizes.

“So you’re plotting with demons, now?”  

“Good old Alastair does everything I tell him,” Lucifer shrugs. “He thinks I’m going to give him a part of the Earth once it’s all mine. The poor bastard. And it seems you’ve been digging around, killing some of his followers, so when I asked him to take care of you, he was more than happy to oblige.”

Gabriel looks between the two of them. He looks so lost it’s almost painful to watch.

“Please, Lucifer…”

“Anyway,” Lucifer booms. “Not that I don’t like a nice little chat from time to time, but I have some business transactions to attend, and I don’t have any patience left. What do you say, Gabriel? Are you with me or against me?”

“I can’t—“

“Yes or no? I won’t ask twice.”

Gabriel swallows. He glances toward Dean.

“I can’t let you do this,” he says.

Disappointment crossing his features, Lucifer cocks his head on the side. He takes another step forward, opening his mouth.

The noise the shotgun makes as it detonates is deafening. It seems to resonate in the whole mansion. Dean blinks, looking at Lucifer who’s looking down on himself. There’s blood on his chest. He looks up at Bobby, who fired his gun, anger written all over his face.

He rushes forward, his blade up.

“Who do you think you are, you little—“

Gabriel steps in front of Bobby, holding his blade defensively.

“Don’t.”

Lucifer want to answer but his rage turns to pain when the Holy Oil finally has the desired effect. It’s not lit, so it probably won’t hurt long, but at least it works. Lucifer screams in rage.

“MICHAEL,” he calls.

Dean sees Gabriel straighten up as the sound of wings fill the room. Michael appears next to Lucifer. He looks like he means business, too. Dean knows Michael saw a lot of things at Lucifer’s, but he never lifted a finger to prevent them from happening. Seeing both archangels here, in front of him, it’s overwhelming. He wants to move, he wants to run to Sam, see if he’s okay, he wants to do something but he can’t move.

He’s scared. But fear’s never done that to him before. Usually it propels him, pushes him forward and helps him do his job. This is a job. This is ganking some crap monsters, only these ones are bigger. Same job on a different scale. _This is a job, Winchester. Get your head outta your ass!_

Dean surges forward, blade in hand, the other reaching for his gun in the back of his jeans. He shoots Michael once, twice, taking him by surprise, and when he’s close enough he stabs him in the chest. He knows the bullets are just normal bullets, won’t hurt the sonovabitch, but at least it surprises the angels enough that Dean has time to take the blade out of Michael’s chest and take a shot at Lucifer next to him.

Everyone seems to react after that. Michael fights back, and Dean manages to dodge the first blow, the tip of the blade passing by only a few inches from his throat. He jumps back and there’s a detonation again. Someone fired their shotgun, hitting Michael in the arm.

Next thing Dean knows, Castiel is by his side, fighting with him. Dean can’t see anything, he just moves, attack, defend, move, attack, defend, and everything else is a blur. He doesn’t know if Gabriel is participating.

They’re doing this. They’re fighting, and even if there’s a good chance they’ll all die, Dean finds himself hoping for a better outcome. His heart seems to try and fly out of his chest. He’s shaking, but he’s handling it so far as he tells himself that maybe he’s going to be free soon. It’s almost over. If only Gabriel could reach Lucifer, just one blow would work. He turns to look around, searching for Gabriel in the mess the hall’s in, when an invisible force hits him and he’s pushed away from the archangels violently.

“ENOUGH!!”

It’s Lucifer, Dean notices as the back of his head hits a wall. He sees stars for a moment, his vision blackening. Blinking, he tries to shake the nausea away, and tries to see what’s happening. Everything is silent, suddenly.

Castiel is at Michael’s feet, hurt. Bobby, Victor and Charlie are all on the floor. Charlie seems to be unconscious. Victor’s shoulder is bleeding. Bobby looks paler than Dean’s ever seen him. Gabriel is standing in front of Lucifer and Michael, his back to Dean, his blade raised. He looks ridiculously small compared to his Brothers. Dean feels his heart sink all the way to his stomach.

It’s over.

Lucifer looks furious. When he speaks, he doesn’t yell, though. His voice is ice cold, his eyes calculating.

“You think you can kill me, Gabriel? Is that what you’re trying to do?”

“If I have to, I will.”

Lucifer stares at him, like he’s thinking about what to do to him.

“Michael, kill Castiel.”

Gabriel starts, his head snapping to where Cas is as Michael grabs the angel by the hair, pulling him up, his blade aiming at Cas’ throat.

“NO,” Gabriel screams.

Michael stops, the tip of his blade digging into the skin of Castiel’s throat. Cas is out of breath and in pain but he gives Lucifer an angry look.

“So, Castiel can live,” Lucifer starts, “but I can’t? I thought all angels had to die, isn’t that what you and your rebellious little cockroaches want?”

“No, that’s not what it’s about! Listen to yourself, Lucifer!”

Lucifer arches an eyebrow. “So I’m the one at fault, is that what you’re saying?”

Gabriel huffs. “Please…”

“Tell you what,” Lucifer interrupts him. “Let’s duel. One blow, one chance. We aim to kill, and we see who wins. What do you say? Since you want me dead so badly, I might as well give you the chance. We both know who’ll win, but I guess I need to prove it to you.”

Looking around the room, frantic, eyes wide, Gabriel finds Dean’s eyes. He holds his gaze for a second, then turns to Lucifer again.

“Fine, but you let the humans go first. Including Cas.”

Lucifer shrugs. “I’ll kill them all once I’m done with you anyway.”

He waves toward Michael, who releases Castiel.

“Cas, take them out,” Gabriel tells him. Cas starts to open his mouth to protest but Gabriel cuts him right away. “Don’t. Just go.”

Weakened and obviously in pain, Cas has no choice but to nod and obey. Bobby and Victor get up, fetching Charlie who’s still unconscious, while Cas takes care of Sam. Dean pushes himself up, groaning, and he comes to stand behind Gabriel.

Only once the others have left does Gabriel notices Dean is still here.

“Dean, I said go.”

“No.”

Dean is proud to hear his voice isn’t shaking. Lucifer smirks at him.

“Good little doggy you have here, Gabriel. I thought you failed his education, but now I see you did good. Better than me, actually.”

“Dean, I won’t repeat myself. Just leave.”

“I won’t let you die,” Dean whispers urgently. “I’m the one who has to kick your ass.”

Gabriel sighs. “There’s nothing you can do. Just save yourself. Go.”

Dean eyes Lucifer. “You heard him, he’ll find me if you die. It’s either die here or go back with him.”

This gets a chuckle out of Lucifer. “See, he’s not completely stupid.”

“Let’s get this over with,” Michael snaps.

He looks nervous, his eyes darting between Gabriel and Lucifer in turns. Lucifer gives him a surprised look, but he takes position, a step away from Gabriel, blade at the ready.

“Michael’s right. Let’s finish this.”

Gabriel pushes Dean back.

“Go,” he says again as he turns to his brothers.

Dean hesitates. He sees the two archangels stare at each other, Lucifer looking confident, smiling, and Gabriel looking focused and scared, and he wonders. Should he do something? Or should he leave? Gabriel doesn’t deserve his time. But Dean can’t leave him like this, to die on his own.

Because that’s what’s going to happen, isn’t it? Gabriel is going to die. If Dean knows it, then Gabriel knows it, too. Finally, he’s doing something selfless. Dean can’t leave. He can’t let them do this.

“Gab—“

But Lucifer sends him flying back with a wave of his hand. He crashes on the floor again. When he looks up, he can see Grace leaking from Lucifer’s and Gabriel’s vessels. Michael takes a step back. All around Lucifer, the ground, the walls, everything starts to freeze. There’s a noise, Dean doesn’t know if it’s the Graces, or something else, a low buzzing sound that swells and swells until it almost hurts to hear it.

“Gabriel, you moron, you’re gonna get killed,” Dean yells.

He tries to get up.

“Leave, Dean,” Gabriel says.

And Dean can clearly hear his true voice ring, and he almost lets fear paralyze him again. But he can’t, he needs to do something. What are the others going to do if Gabriel dies? Lucifer will kill them. Or take them with him? He can’t let him have Jess, or Charlie, or Jordan, God! Jordan and Sam and Ben and Lisa and… shit. He can’t leave.

“Don’t be a dick,” he tries again.

He stands up as a soft breeze starts blowing inside. The Graces are coming in contact, like they’re fighting each other. Dean can feel them. On his skin. He can almost taste them. Taste their power.

“Gabriel, I swear to God if you get killed I—“

He stops because the Graces are melting against each other, and Gabriel is sweating like he’s pushing against an invisible force that’s way too strong for him.

Finally, he tries to strike Lucifer with his blade. Lucifer avoids the blow easily, stepping aside, and he punches Gabriel in the jaw in return. Gabriel doesn’t stop there. He comes back, trying to aim at Lucifer’s throat, but Lucifer grabs his hand and twists it. With a cry, Gabriel lets the blade fall. Lucifer punches him, again, and again, until Gabriel spits blood. Grabbing him by the throat, Lucifer chuckles.

“Told you I’d win,” he sneers.

Gabriel turns his eyes toward Dean, and time suddenly slows down, so much it almost stops. Dean feels like he could count his heart beats one by one.

_DunDun_

 

 

Dean sees everything. He sees the corner of Lucifer’s mouth lift in triumph. He sees a strand of Gabriel’s hair being lifted by the wind, the light of his Grace reflecting in it. He sees Gabriel’s eyebrows furrow in anger, maybe anguish? He isn’t sure.

_DunDun_

He sees Lucifer’s muscles contract as he lets go of Gabriel’s hand and his blade appears again as he lifts his arm, his blade plunging forward toward Gabriel’s chest. He sees the way Gabriel’s chest heaves as he extends his arm behind him, in Dean’s direction, opening his mouth and taking a breath to say something.

“GO!”

_DunDun_

Lucifer’s blade is so close to his chest. God, Dean needs to do something. Now!

He takes a breath. The power of Lucifer’s Grace reaches him, making goose bumps appear on his arm. He opens his mouth. His lungs fill with air. Gabriel seems to light up, disappearing, melting like his own Grace.

_DunDun_

“GAB-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding an end note, first to let you know that, yes, this is really how the chapter ends :D  
> Second, the final chapter will be posted in a week. Enjoy what you're feeling right now, because 7 days from now, everything will be over :(


	18. Time will tell

# CHAPTER 18 : Time will tell

“-RIEL!!”

Dean exhales.

There’s not a single sound.

Blinking, he looks around.

No, this is wrong. This is wrong. No, no no! It can’t be right. He’s outside, in one of the fields. He can see the mansion from afar, and his heart starts hammering in his chest.

Gabriel sent him away. He can feel the after effects of the flight. Shit, he needs to go ba—

The mansion lights up with pure, white light, blinding him for a second and illuminating the sky like it’s suddenly day time. As the light fades, Dean looks up at the sky.

He knows what it means. He knows and his whole body gives up for a second. He crumbles to the ground, head spinning.

“Shit!”

He feels tears coming to his eyes, and he angrily wipes them away, trying to breathe through his nose to make the emptiness in his chest disappear. He shouldn’t feel that way, he hates Gabriel. Hated. Hates. God!

He stumbles to his feet and he runs. He runs, he runs to the house. It seems so far away.  It occurs to him that Lucifer is probably waiting for him there. He’s going to take him back. He’s going to kill Sam. But it’s okay. Dean still has his gun, miraculously, tucked in the back of his jeans. He doesn’t remember if he put it there himself, or if maybe Gabriel sent it away with him, but it’s there. He just wants to see what happened, he needs to see Gabriel’s body, and then he can put a bullet in his head. Sam is going to die, too, anyway.

He doesn’t care about anything anymore. He can’t, because his life is over.

He stops dead when he reaches the door. Or what remains of the door anyway. Through the broken wood, he sees that the stairs have crumbled down. There’s dust flying around, big pieces of rock and wood everywhere. Michael is standing there, still alive, looking down, a shocked expression on his face. There’s blood on his blade.

Dean steps inside. Looking down, he sees huge imprints of wings. Three pairs, burned into the floor. His heart slows as he approaches carefully. He wonders where Lucifer is. He can’t see much amongst all the debris around, but he’s pretty sure he can see a mop of strawberry blond hair sticking out from under a pile of wood and dust. He kneels next to Gabriel’s body, pushing the pieces of wood away, until the top half of the angel’s body is free. Michael still hasn’t moved.

There’s something bugging him, though, but he can’t seem to understand what it is. He looks around, and he feels like his chest is ten times too small.

“Shit, Gabe…”

He can’t believe it’s over. He can’t believe Lucifer walks free. He can’t believe… can’t believe what he’s seeing. Shit.

Is it possible that…

There’s no imprint of wings under Gabriel’s body. The floor is clean around him. No ashes. Just plain old tiles.

Dean doesn’t want to believe it just yet. He puts two fingers in the corner of Gabriel’s neck, right below his jaw. And he feels a pulse.

“He’s alive,” he exclaims, looking at Michael.

Michael slowly lifts his head, and looks at him.

“That means…” Dean doesn’t want to believe it just yet.

Michael nods.

Castiel chooses that moment to come barging in. He takes in the sight in front of him, and rushes to Gabriel.

“He’s okay,” Dean whispers, barely believing it himself. “He’s fine. He’s alive.”

Castiel eyes him, suspicious, and then turns to Michael.

“Lucifer?”

“I couldn’t let him kill every single one of our kind, Castiel. I just couldn’t. And Gabriel he…” Michael trails off. He seems lost. “Gabriel chose to fight. He was ready to die. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“You did the right thing,” Castiel answers, his eyes never leaving Gabriel’s face.

Michael nods again, coming closer to them. He kneels next to Gabriel and puts two fingers on his forehead. Gabriel opens his eyes with a gasp. Confused, he looks around, holding himself up on his elbows. Finally, he looks at Michael, and his expression changes from fear to understanding.

“You…”

Michael nods. It seems it’s the only thing he can still do.

Dean can’t stay here, now that Gabriel’s awake. He needs to find Sam, see if he’s okay. He needs to check on the others. He stands up, panic swelling in his chest. What if Sam didn’t make it? That was a pretty tough looking blow he got on his head. He looks around.

And something stops him.

There’s only a little lightbulb hanging from a wire on the far end wall, but it’s lighting the scene enough that Dean can recognize Lucifer’s body on the floor. A mix of emotions assaults him. Relief, pain, fear, confusion. All at once.

He steps closer, slowly, as if rushing this would wake Lucifer up and start the whole thing over again.

But the Archangel is really dead. His eyes are closed, and he looks peaceful. There’s a hole in his chest where Michael stabbed him, there’s blood on the floor and imprints of wings, gigantic wings, all around him. He’s dead. Judging by the look of his wound, Michael stabbed him in the back, until the tip of his blade pierced through heart and muscles and bones and got out on the other side.

He’s dead. It’s over. Dean’s free.

It’s not satisfying. Dean almost wants to cry, because he feels relief, yes, but not the kind he was expecting to feel. He’s not happy, he’s not triumphant. He feels hollow and changed and it was all Lucifer’s fault. But him dying didn’t change anything. Dean’s still broken. He can’t be fixed.

He turns his back on Lucifer’s corpse, and walks away. He needs to see if Sam’s okay.

~*~

Sam is fine, as it turns out. More than fine. Jess is taking care of him when Dean finds him. Gilda, Lisa, Victor, Bobby, Ben, Mrs. Herbert and Jordan are all gathered around Sam and Charlie, in the back of the barn. The three horses Gabriel owns don’t look disturbed at all. Dean passes them, and walks to the others. They put some blankets and pillows on the ground. There’s a chair for Mrs. Herbert, but the others are all sitting on the floor, Jess cleaning Sam’s wounds, and Gilda lying next to Charlie, who’s covered in bandages.

When he sees Dean, Sam pushes Jess away gently and jumps on his feet, running to his brother to hug him.

“You’re okay,” he says in his hair.

Dean closes his eyes, hugging back.

“He’s dead, Sammy,” he exhales.

Sam laughs nervously, and pats his back as he lets him go. They stare at each other for a moment, until Charlie clears her throat.

“Sorry to interrupt, but…” she indicates the bandages around her arm. “I’ve been wounded. I deserve to know what happened. Spill!”

So Dean sits with them and explains everything he gathered from what he saw. When he’s done, they’re all silent.

“Woah,” Ben says.

Lisa nods. Bobby and Victor look at each other, uneasy. Mrs Herbert is staring at the floor. Charlie and Gilda are hugging. Jordan is now really close to Dean, she’s been coming closer as she was listening. Her hand find his, hesitatingly, and he squeezes to let her know it’s okay.

“What’s going to happen to us, now?”

Dean smiles at her, reassuringly. “Nothin’. Why would anything happen to you?”

She looks down. Dean gives Charlie a questioning look.

“Well… Master Michael and Master Gabriel killed another Archangel. That means they’ll be put on trial. And us, we…” she trails off.

Dean gets it. They think they’re going to be sold.

“I think there’s enough proof that Lucifer was a dick. He’s responsible for what happened. He’s responsible for his own death. Don’t you worry, okay? Gabriel’ll be fine, and you’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.” He plants a kiss on Jordan’s head. “Okay?”

Charlie nods. But they don’t seem convinced at all.

“Dean’s right,” Sam says, smiling bright. “We’ll work something out. Castiel and I, we found some stuff I’m pretty sure the Council can’t ignore.”

Bobby sighs. “Let’s hope you two idjits are right.”

“I’m pretty sure they are,” Gabriel says as he walks in.

They all turn to him, surprised. Nobody moves as he, Castiel and Michael approach.

“So, I know what you’re all thinking,” Gabriel goes on. “Why is Michael still here? Well, first, he saved my life, so I think I can safely say he’s not going to hurt any of us. Second, he’s the only one beside me who still has his Grace. So he’s going to help clean and rebuilt the house. And I think if we want to sleep for a bit today we’re gonna need to start right now. Who’s with me?”

He smiles. Dean sees red. He doesn’t even know why, but Gabriel looks happy, and it pisses him off. But he tries not to show it, because he’s not alone. He sees Sam eye him but he shrugs at him and stands up.

“Come on, people!”

Ben stands too, followed by his mother. Gilda apologizes, saying she’d rather stay with Charlie. Sam comes too, followed by Victor. Bobby huffs when Dean gives him a questioning look, saying he’s too old for this and he needs his rest. Mrs. Herbert stays with the girls and Bobby, so Jessica follows them, too. Even Jordan comes to help.

They spend the night emptying the hall, or what’s left of it anyway, of any debris they can. When the sun starts appearing on the horizon, behind the fields, Dean decides to take a break. He sits outside on the porch, and looks at the sky. He can still see stars, and suddenly he feels very small. He thinks about Meg. He hopes she’s okay. They’re all alone, now, Lucifer’s slaves. He hopes she’s not dead.

He needs to put his pride aside, he decides. For her, he can do that.

Going back inside, he spots Gabriel talking to Cas in a corner of the room. Jordan and Ben are long gone, Lisa having sent them to bed a couple hours ago. Sam is helping Jess wipe the floor. Victor is probably with Bobby by now, and Michael is nowhere in sight.

Dean walks to Gabriel.

“You wanna make it up to me?”

Surprised, Gabriel nearly jumps when he hears Dean, and he blinks at him before he answers.

“Uh, yes?”

Cas gives Dean a puzzled look, but Dean goes on.

“Take me to Lucifer’s, now.”

“Why?”

“Meg is still there.”

He sees realization dawn Gabriel’s face. The angel runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh. Right. Right.” He turns to Castiel. “Can you man the fort while I’m gone?”

Castiel squints. “What’s happening?”

“You’ll see when we’ll come back,” Gabriel answers, patting his shoulder. He grabs Dean’s arm. “Come on.”

~*~

Dean’s pretty sure he heard Sam shout “HEY!” as he and Gabriel flew away, but now that he’s inside Lucifer’s house again, he can’t bring himself to care. He tries to breathe slowly through his nose to keep calm.

Gabriel lets go of his arm.

“You okay?”

“Fine, let’s get going,” Dean answers, annoyed.

He doesn’t want to talk to Gabriel, but he has to if he wants to find Meg. He looks around and spots what he’s looking for. He’s not sure the thing works, since he’s never seen it been used once, but he tries. There’s a silky cord hanging from the ceiling. He pulls on it. He knows it’s supposed to be a sort of bell for guests. But there’s no sound, nothing. It’s broken then. Or maybe it never worked.

Dean sighs.

Gabriel clears his throat. “What was that?”

“Nothin’, apparently…”

They start walking toward the stairs, Dean thinking they should go check Lucifer’s bedroom, just to be sure, and dreading what he could find inside, when they hear footsteps rushing toward them. Dean turns, and he sees Asshole Guy, out of breath, stopping a few feet away from them, eyes wide. When he sees Gabriel, he falls on his knees. So the bell works. Must be some kind of Grace thing.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at Dean, questioning. Dean just shrugs. Gabriel takes a step toward Asshole Guy.

“What’s your name, Boy?”

“Lawrence, Master.”

Dean wasn’t expecting that. He doesn’t know why. Guy doesn’t look like a Lawrence to him. Actually, it never occurred to Dean that he had a name.

“Lawrence, do you know why we’re here?”

Lawrence hesitates. But he keeps his eyes to the floor, his hands firmly clasped in his back, and he straightens up.

“Master Lucifer is dead.”

“That’s right. So you know what that means, I’m sure.”

The slave looks up, unsure of himself. “Master?”

“It means you’re with me, now,” Gabriel goes on, crossing his arms across his chest. “Do you get it? You’re mine.”

Lawrence looks down. “Yes, Master.”

“Now tell me, where’s Meg?”

“Um… Meg?”

“Yes, Meg. Small Brunette. Big mouth. You know who I’m talking about?”

“Y- Yes. Master,” he looks up again. “But she’s… I’m not sure she’s… uh, she’s in the basements.”

“Shit,” Dean exclaims.

He needs to get to her, now. He starts moving but Gabriel stops him.

“Dean! Wait.”

“What?”

Looking at Lawrence again, Gabriel gestures for him to stand up, which he does.

“Where are the others? The other slaves?”

“In their room, Master.”

“Good.” Gabriel straightens up. “Michael!”

Dean doesn’t have time to protest. He hears the sounds of wings as Michael appears next to Lawrence. He looks around, but doesn’t say anything. And Gabriel doesn’t let him talk.

“Lawrence, here, is going to take you to the other slaves of this house. Take them to my place. Him included.”

Michael sighs, looking at the slave.

“Lead the way,” he tells him.

And they disappear through a service door.

Dean sighs, impatient. “Come on!”

He doesn’t wait for Gabriel, who manages to catch up with him anyway. He still knows the place, and so he leads Gabriel through the corridors, down flights of stairs, until they reach the cells in the basements. There’s no way to know which one holds Meg, though. So Dean gets to work. He opens every door, peeking inside to see if Meg’s there. He finds her in the fourth cell, the one at the far end of the corridor.

She lying on the floor, her eyes closed. She seems unconscious. She’s so pale, the bruises on her legs and arms seem almost black on her skin.

He runs to her and crouches down, searching for her pulse. She’s alive. But she’s not sleeping, he can tell.

“Hey, Meg,” he shakes her gently, “it’s me, it’s Dean. Wake up, Lazy Head.”

Gabriel puts his hand flat on the top of her chest, frowning like he’s looking for something.

“She’s dehydrated, near starvation and… she’s hurt.”

Dean strokes her cheek, hoping she can feel it. She’s cold.

“How?”

“Two broken bones in her legs, some bruises, some internal damage. No bleeding, though, so that’s good.”

“Heal her.”

“I can’t.”

Dean gives him an angry look.

“It’s true, Dean, I can’t,” Gabriel sighs. “I’m useless, right now. I can fly around, yes, but I’m out of juice. I need time. Let’s get her home so Michael can help her, okay?”

Dean nods. He takes her in her arms, and takes her out of this house.

~*~

“She’s fine, now,” Michael says as he takes his hand off Meg.

They put her in the room Dean was in when he came back from Lucifer’s. He learned since then it’s one of the guest rooms in Castiel’s part of the house. Meg is in the bed, Michael seated on the edge of it next to her, and Dean and Gabriel are standing behind him.

Dean is chewing on his lower lip, anxious.

“Why isn’t she waking up, then?”

“I put her to sleep,” Michael answers, standing up. “I think it’s good that she get some real rest, don’t you?”

He turns to Dean, staring. He always looks like he’s constipated. And he never stops looking at Dean. It’s unnerving.

“Alright,” Dean says.

Michael keeps staring. Seriously, what’s up with him? He’s probably still pissed that Dean shoot him and tried to stab him to death. But still. Dean can’t handle his gaze.

“Nobody ever told you it’s impolite to stare at people,” he snaps.

And something weird happens. Michael smiles, ever so slightly, but he does, the corner of his lips lifting slowly.

“My apologies. It’s just… do you have vessels in your family?”

“What? No. I don’t know.”

“Well, you should check your family tree, then,” Michael shrugs.

And he leaves the room. That guy is really, really weird. And Dean finds himself alone with Gabriel again. But he said finding Meg would make them even, so he tries not to be too angry.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like a moment alone with Meg. Please.”

Gabriel jumps like he was lost in his thoughts and forgot he wasn’t alone.

“Oh, sure. Sorry. I’m going.”

He seems to hesitate, glancing toward Dean once, before he leaves, shutting the door behind him. Dean sighs. He kneels on the side of the bed, not bothering to bring the chair closer to the bed. Staring at Meg, he suddenly feels a bit of the relief he was expecting to feel when Lucifer died. She’s here, she’s alive, and she’s okay. She’s always been so optimistic, and she’s been through worse than Dean. So there’s reason for hope, he catches himself thinking. As long as Meg’s here by his side, he can do it. He can live on.

He bends over, gently kissing her forehead before he stands up again. He takes a note he wrote her when they first got here out of his pocket, and put it down on the nightstand beside the bed. She’ll see it when she wakes up.

He has things to do, people to take care of. Time to get back on the horse.

~*~

“So, Cas and I talked a great deal, last night,” Gabriel says, looking at everyone around him.

They’re all sitting in the barn, because the house is still a mess, even if most of the room are still intact, nobody really feels like staying in there for long. It’s been two days and Meg hasn’t woken up, yet. Dean is worried, but Michael says it’s normal. Not that Dean trusts him, but he can’t do anything beside taking him at his words.

“And I have something to tell you,” Gabriel goes on, “hopefully, you’ll take it as good news.”

The slaves all look at each other. Dean knows what Gabriel’s going to say. He’s not sure everyone’s gonna be happy about it, but he hopes they will. It’s a new life that’s going to start for them. Sam is grinning. Of course he is. He doesn’t understand it won’t look that simple to all the slaves.

Gabriel smiles at them reassuringly. He clears his throat.

“There’s no quick way to say this, and I’m sure you’ll have a lot of questions, so I’m just going to say it, and we’ll see how we handle things from here. How would you all like to be freed?”

The reactions are immediate. Charlie chokes on her own saliva. Bobby’s eyes widen comically. Victor frowns. Mrs. Herbert looks like someone told her she was dying. Jessica looks up at Sam, tears in her eyes. The others just look down.

“Don’t look too happy about it,” Gabriel sighs.

Lisa finally opens her mouth, looking down at Ben next to her.

“Do we… do we have to agree?”

Gabriel looks surprised. Dean almost wants to snorts but he holds back, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Well… I don’t see why you wouldn’t.”

“Maybe because freeing them means you won’t provide for them anymore and they don’t know how to survive in the outside world,” Dean interrupts, unable to keep the sneer from his voice.

He can’t help it. Gabriel has his head so far up his ass he can’t realize that by himself.

“Oh,” the archangel says.

Dean huffs. “Yeah, oh.”

Gabriel turns to Cas who’s been standing there, not saying anything and just looking his usual, constipated self. Scratching the back of his head, the archangel looks at the slaves again.

“Well… You know, you can stay if you want,” he finally says. “I mean… the property is huge, I don’t need…” he waves around “all of this. And you know, angels don’t need to eat or drink or whatever. I mean I like to eat, obviously, or I wouldn’t ask you to prepare my meals every day but…” He sighs, looking at Cas. “What do you think?”

“I don’t see where you’re going,” Castiel answers. “I don’t think they do, either.”

“Uh, I mean,” Gabriel starts again, clearing his throat, “you can stay. We can… built some houses here if you don’t want to stay in the mansion. And you can keep doing your work. I’ll pay you, obviously.”

And all the slaves faces light up suddenly as they share an incredulous look. Dean has trouble believing it himself.

Jessica looks at Sam again, then back at Gabriel.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. I won’t let you go out there until you’re ready. We can work on it. I’ll help you find some other job if you want to. I don’t want to get rid of you, I just want to help. So, whatever you need, just ask.”

A heavy silence falls on them, and Dean finds himself studying Gabriel. He’s not lying. He’s really ready to help them settle down, free them all, and go on with his life as if nothing ever happened.

On the verge of tears, Charlie holds Gilda close as she looks up at Gabriel and Cas.

“So we’re free?”

“Technically, not yet,” Gabriel says. “Sam here agreed to help with the papers, but once they’re done… yeah, you’ll be free. You already are, for me. But you can’t leave the property until you get your ID and papers.”

“There’s one thing that could be a problem, though,” Sam comes in.

He looks uncomfortable, and his gaze lingers on Jordan before coming back to Gabriel.

“Jordan… if you free her, uh…” he looks for his words, avoiding Jordan’s eyes. She looks distressed, suddenly. Dean smiles at her. But he’s not sure it’s going to help once she hears what Sam has to say. “If you free Jordan then she’ll be registered as an orphan,” Sam goes on, “and since she’s a minor she’ll have to go into the system. There’s no guarantee she won’t end up…” he trails off.

No guarantee she won’t end up a slave again. Alone. With some pervert maybe. Dean looks down as he sees Jordan’s eyes fill with tears.

“I don’t want to go,” she says.

Gabriel twists his mouth, giving Cas a quick look, but he doesn’t seem to be worried.

“You don’t have to. I’ll adopt you,” he turns to Sam, ignoring the look of utter shock on everyone’s face. Even Cas looks surprised. “Would that work?”

“Uh,” Sam answers, at loss for words, “I, uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Good,” Gabriel smiles. “Then it’s settled. Take your time to think about it.”

Jordan bolts from where she was sitting and throws herself in his arms. Crying, she holds him tight. Gabriel runs his hand through her short hair, whispering to her.

“Hey, don’t cry, it’s okay, see? It’s gonna be okay…”

She’s almost as tall as he is, now, but in that moment, she looks exactly like the shy little girl Dean first met. He swallows, feeling tears coming to his eyes. For once, they’re tears of joy, but he doesn’t let them fall, nonetheless. He’s tired of crying.

“So,” Gabriel says, his arm still around Jordan, “if you want to, you can still help restoring the mansion. You don’t have to, but I think we all need a distraction for now, hm?”

Slowly, like they’re getting out of a daze, all the slaves nod, standing up.

~*~

It’s the middle of the afternoon when Dean finally looks up from what he’s been doing, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. They’ve all been working hard, renovating the stairs. It’s not going to be made of stone anymore. But Gabriel doesn’t mind, as long as they can all walk up again.

It’s hot, now. The doors are wide open, letting a small breeze come in. Dean knows which date it is now. May 12th. He missed Sammy’s birthday. But it’s okay, they don’t really celebrate, anyway. He doesn’t know how to feel about that period of time he feels he missed. He tries not to think about it.

Something catches his eyes on the second floor and when he looks in that direction, he sees Meg precariously climbing down the ladder they put there to be able to navigate the floors. Once she reaches solid ground, she looks around, unsure of herself.

And then she spots Dean.

As she walks up to him, he can see she’s doing everything she can not to run. He smiles bright as she comes close, and wraps her arms around him. Oddly, he doesn’t flinch. It doesn’t feel weird. She’s touching him, and he doesn’t mind. A happy huff escapes his mouth.

“Hey, there,” he breathes in her hair.

Her only answer is a sob. He chuckles.

“Are you crying?”

“Shuddup…”

Running his hand on her back, he tries to calm her down.

“You’re okay, now, alright? You’re good. It’s over. He’s dead, you hear me? He’s fuckin’ dead, Meg…”

She nods, again, and again, and the crying seems to stop after a while and she laughs into Dean’s shirt. She’s so small, Dean thinks to himself. So small, so easy to break. She lets go and punches his shoulder.

“Stop babying me,” she sniffles.

He smiles fondly. “Okay.”

Looking around, she takes a step back when she sees the others are eyeing them, pretending they’re not looking. Gabriel is outright staring, though. Dean raises an eyebrow at him, and the angel seems to realize what he’s been doing. He goes back to whatever he was doing.

“Looks like someone’s jealous,” Meg whispers.

Dean refuses to answer that. “You hungry?”

She shrugs.

“The other guys who were with us at Lucifer’s are here, too, if you wanna say hi,” he goes on.

She looks up to him, surprised.

“Even Asshole Guy?”

Dean nods. “Even him, yeah. Did you know his name is Lawrence?”

“Yeah, but ‘Asshole’ suits him better.”

Dean laughs at that. For the first time in a long while, he finds himself laughing. His eyes find Sam’s, who looking at him, a happy look on his face. Dean winks.

Yes, with Meg, he can make it. Everything’s fine.

~*~

When night falls, they stop what they’re doing. The stairs look good, Sam thinks. He’s not carpenter, but they did a good job in his opinion. Tomorrow they’ll need to finish building the banisters, and they’ll need to install them. Then all the stairs will need is a paint job, and they’ll be done.

He wipes his hands on his dirty jeans, looking around. Jess is chatting with Gilda, Lisa and Charlie. She glances in his direction, a shy smile on her face as she keeps talking. He smiles back. If Dean saw him, he would totally make fun of him. But he doesn’t care. This is good. Dean is back, the slaves of this house are free, they killed a very dangerous guy, resolving the hunt that started all this.

He’s thinking maybe they could stay for a bit. Help them build their houses. Help them get jobs, homes. A new life. And that way he could stay close to Jess for a little while. He can already hear Dean’s voice in his head. _Don’t get attached, Sammy. That’s no life for a hunter, you know that_.

Yes, yes he knows. But still. He thinks he can be selfish for a little while. He earned it.

Speaking of Dean, Sam sees him come out of the slaves’ quarter, a smile on his face, followed by his friend, Meg, and the slaves from Lucifer’s house. They all walk to Gabriel, and the three boys kneel. Meg starts to say something but Dean put his hand on her arm and pulls her away. Sam comes closer to see what’s happening.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow.

“Come on, none of that here. Get up,” he says, his voice gentle.

The oldest gets up right away. The other two look at each other and slowly, like they’re not sure it’s a real order, they stand up. Gabriel keeps a smile on his face, and he comes to crouch in front of the youngest one. He doesn’t seem to be very old. Not even ten, Sam would say.

“Hi there, what’s your name?”

The boy keeps looking at the floor, he doesn’t move, doesn’t answer.

“I’m sorry, Master,” the slave next to him, his brother, if Sam isn’t mistaken, whispers, “he can’t hear you. He’s deaf.”

Gabriel looks at him curiously. “Oh. Okay. Does he speak sign language?”

The older boy nods. “Yes, Master.”

Gabriel tilts the little boy’s chin up, until the boy is looking at him.

“Hi,” he says again, making a salute.

Or rather… Sam recognize the sign for ‘hello’. Gabriel signs too quicjly for Sam to catch everything, and he only knows a few signs, but he recognize the sign for ‘you’, and the one for ‘name’, Gabriel pointing at the boy, then raising two fingers on each hand and tapping them twice against each other.

“What’s your name?”

It shouldn’t surprise Sam that Gabriel can sign. But it does.  Dean seems as equally baffled. And he frowns, crossing his arms across his chest. Everything Gabriel does seems to piss him off, lately. Sam can relate. But now that Dean’s okay he’s found that his anger is slowly dying away.

The little boy answers, his hands working too fast for Sam to decipher.

“Leonard,” Gabriel exclaims, signing as he speaks, “Nice. I like that name. And who’s that?”

The angel points at the other boy next to Leonard. Leonard frowns when he sees Gabriel spelling his full name. He seems to correct him, because Gabriel suddenly laughs.

“Leo, alright. I get it. Leonard is a mouthful. So, that’s your brother, right?”

Leo nods. He starts signing again, looking excited now. The other boy seems a bit tense, though. Everyone in the room is just staring at them now, looking at the exchange.

“Will,” Gabriel repeats the signs. He looks up at the other boy as he keeps signing. “Nice to meet you, Will.”

“It’s William, Master,” the other boy says, flushing slightly.

“Ah, but I bet you don’t like being called that, too, am I right?”

Will nods. Gabriel looks at them both in turn.

“William and Leonard. Where does that come from?”

Will clears his throat. “I was told we were named after a writer and a painter, Master.”

Gabriel laughs. Sam can’t help but smile, too.

“Ah, well,” the angel answers, “they were great guys. I’m sure you will be, too. Both of you.”

He stands up again, and looks at the three boys, then at Meg.

“So, now that you’re here…” They all straighten up, even Meg. “You’re mine. Not legally, but it’s being arranged at the moment. So… I’m going to tell you the same thing I did the others…”

~*~

The kitchen is filled with laughter. Sam is sitting in a corner, near Jess, but not too close to avoid spooking her, and he looks at everyone. Dean fits, here. Strangely, they seem to all be looking up to him. Meg stares at him, enraptured by the story he’s telling, eyes bright and a big smile on her face. Dean is always touching her, somehow, Sam noticed. Like he can’t hold on if he’s not sure she’s here.

The guys from Lucifer’s are quiet, especially the one called Lawrence. Apparently, Meg and Dean don’t like him so much. But the boys took a liking to Jordan and Ben, and they’re eagerly chatting together, sitting on the floor in a circle, Will translating everything being said to Leo with a form of sign language Sam’s never seen before.

Sam now knows Leo is eight. Will is nineteen. So once they’re free, like Gabriel explained to them earlier, Will will be able to take care of Leo, as his guardian. Meg spent a lot of time in Dean’s arms after Gabriel gave them the same speech he did to all his slaves. They can be free. She looks like she couldn’t believe it, and Dean kept telling her it was real. He looked happier than Sam’s ever seen him in years.

Castiel and Gabriel are sitting a bit apart from the others. They’re not saying anything, just watching. Gabriel seems highly uncomfortable, but Cas seems to be enjoying himself.

And now Dean’s telling them about all the places they saw, thanks to the hunts, adding a little fun story about Sam every time.

“It’s really big,” he’s saying, looking at Meg. “Like… I don’t know… I can’t really describe it. It’s… Sammy, help me!”

Sam starts. He was barely listening.

“What?”

“The Grand Canyon, dude! They want to know what it’s like!”

Sam smiles. He gets his wallet from his back pocket, taking a picture out of it, and hands it to Dean. It’s a picture their Dad took, of the both of us, standing in front of the Grand Canyon. Dean is fourteen on the picture. Sam is ten.

Meg laughs. “Oh my God, Dean! You were a baby!”

They all look at the picture, impressed. Only the children talk now, as they all admire it.

Castiel’s stomach rumbles loudly, suddenly. Everybody turns to him.

“Sorry,” he says, sheepish. “It’s late. I didn’t want to say anything but…”

“Yeah, I’m starving, too,” Charlie chimes in.

“Same,” Jess says.

They all nod.

“Alright,” Dean exclaims, “who’s up for the famous Winchester’s burgers?”

They blink at him. Even the kids get quiet.

“Burgers,” Meg states.

Dean huffs.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that? You don’t like burgers?”

Shrugging, Meg leans against the kitchen counter where Dean and her are standing in front of the others.

“I don’t know. Never had one.”

“What?!”

Dean looks scandalized. He eyes them all, one by one, a small, incredulous smile on his face, as if to say ‘can you believe it?’

But they all seem uncomfortable, suddenly. Dean huffs.

“What?”

“Actually…” Charlie starts, careful. She eyes Gabriel. “Last time we had some was when you were here. But even then, that was kind of… exceptional.”

She looks down, in shame it seems, and Dean’s eyes open in understanding.

“So what you’re saying is,” Dean almost whispers, a quiet kind of rage in his voice, “the whore wanted some greasy food and the Master indulged him, is that it?”

Dean finally turns to Gabriel, all humor gone from his face. Gabriel shifts his weight.

 “Meat is expensive,” he just says.

“That’s it? Meat is expensive? You’re loaded!”

Dean looks like he’s going to explode with anger.

“I never thought about it, okay? There’s no need to get angry,” Gabriel answers, defensively.

It’s like the temperature in the kitchen suddenly dropped. Everybody’s staring at them both, uncomfortable, scared. Leo is poking his brother’s arm to ask him to translate what’s happening. But Will doesn’t move. He seems to be shrinking on himself, looking at Dean and Gabriel with wide eyes.

“I’ve seen what you gave your friend Balthazar for me, and you never thought of buying meat for the people who live under your roof? What’s wrong with you?!”

“Dean,” Sam starts.

He needs to calm Dean down. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. He’s shaking now, and Sam can see tears coming to his eyes. Meg is holding on to his shoulder, running her thumb in a circle there.

“Shut up, Sam!”

He steps closer to Gabriel, shrugging Meg’s hand away. But Gabriel is faster.

“I’ll go get some, okay? No need to get angry, Dean,” he tries again. His voice is calm, now. Appeasing. He stands up. “You just had to ask.”

“Right, like they’d even think about asking! You’re just like all the other angels!”

The archangel keeps coming closer to Dean, hands in the air in surrender.

“Dean. It’s fine. I’m sorry, alright? It’s fine.”

He snaps his fingers and some grocery bags appear on the table. Sam has an inkling that nobody wants burgers anymore. Castiel’s stomach chooses that moment to rumble again, and Dean huffs, turning to him, the tension leaking from his shoulders.

“Alright, let’s do this,” he exclaims, as if nothing happened.

“If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m gonna go lie down,” Gabriel says.

Dean eyes him as the angel gets out, but he doesn’t say anything. Meg positions herself against the counter again, watching Dean as he unloads the groceries from their bags.

“You’re going to make him pay forever, aren’t you?”

Dean snorts. “He deserves it,” he says, not looking up.

“Yeah, well, there’s no need to be a dick about it and make everyone uncomfortable in the process…”

Dean finally looks up, surprised. He realizes they’re all looking at him, and he seems lost all of a sudden.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset y’all, I just… I wanted…”

He lets out a breath, and it looks like he’s about to cry again as he looks down.

“It’s okay, Dean,” Jess says, “you want to do something nice for us. Don’t worry we get it.”

“Yeah,” Charlie adds quietly. “Thank you, Dean.”

An awkward silence follows, and suddenly Meg is in Dean’s space, slapping the back of his head.

“So, now that we all acknowledged that you’re an ass, can we get to it? Show us your way, Ô Great Winchester!”

Dean smiles shyly, but he straightens up and looks at them all.

“Okay, so, first, the buns! Very important…”

Sam gets out of the kitchen. He needs some air. He can’t stand to see his brother like this, angry and broken, always in tears every time something happens. He doesn’t know what to do. He wants to be mad at Gabriel for that, but he has to admit that the Archangel is doing everything he can to make amend and fix his mess.

As he enters the hall, he sees Gabriel sitting on the new stairs, looking into nothing. When he hears Sam, he looks up, and huffs tiredly.

“Came to tell me how much you hate me? I mean, come on, please, it’s not like I don’t get that every day from your brother, anyway.”

Sam sights as he walks closer, until he stops right in front of the angel.

“Can you blame him?”

Gabriel doesn’t answer, turning his gaze to the floor. Sam debates with himself for a while. He wonders if he should stay, offer comfort like he would anybody else, or just leave the angel alone.

He decides to stay.

“Are you okay?”

“Why do you care?”

Sam shrugs. “I don’t know if I really do, but everybody’s in a good mood. You’re the only one brooding. So I’m just trying to understand. Lucifer’s dead, it’s over.”

“Yeah, I’m the only bad guy left,” Gabriel whispers.

“That’s not true. You should be celebrating, too.”

Gabriel’s head snaps up. “Celebrating what? My brother is dead, Sam. Because of me. I’m sorry I’m not dancing around his corpse!”

Frowning, Sam crosses his arms across his chest.

“Your brother killed a lot of people, humans and angels alike.”

“You don’t get it… I know… I know the brother I knew and loved died a long time ago. Not in this house. But… Lucifer, he was so…” he sighs, trying to come up with words.

“He was the most beautiful creature in existence. He took care of me. He took care of Michael, and Raphael, and when humans were created, he made a mistake. One mistake. And our Father punished him, cast him out of Heaven into Hell and… I pleaded, Sam. I pleaded, for years, for him to be released.”

He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes.

“It took a Millennium, but finally he was brought back. And when he did… his light was all wrong, he was… he was dulled, quiet, but he was still protecting us, protecting me, and teaching me about all things. But when our father disappeared, he became even quieter. He was withdrawn, and silent for long periods of time, spending most of his time in his thoughts and even though we tried to make him open up again, he wouldn’t. He just wouldn’t. When we decided to come down to Earth, he wasn’t okay with it. But he had to follow the majority. So he managed to get Michael, Raphael and I a bit of land next to his own. And I thought it was going to be a new beginning… I didn’t see that he was growing darker and darker as the years passed. I should’ve…”

His voice wavers, making Sam feel awkward. ~~~~

“That’s a sad story, sure,” Sam says, pausing for a second to find his words, “but that doesn’t mean it makes everything Lucifer did okay. And it certainly doesn’t mean what you did was okay.”

Laughing bitterly, Gabriel takes his head in his hands.

“I know. Heavens, I know, Sam. I’m not trying to justify what we did, I just…” He takes a breath, and looks up again, eyes shining. “I miss my brother.”

“I can get that. But we can’t pity you. We can’t forgive you. I’m not sure Dean will ever be able to look you in the eyes.”

Gabriel doesn’t answer. Instead, he looks away. Which pisses Sam off.

“Dean’s broken,” he goes on. “He’s not Dean anymore, and it’s all because of what you did. I miss my brother, too, Gabriel. The only difference between you and me is I don’t just sit here with my thumbs up my ass, waiting for something to get me out of my misery!”

“I’m sorry…” Gabriel utters after a few seconds of silence.

Sam huffs. “That’s great. I am, too. Just try to do something about it, then. Stop moping. You’re not the only one who lost everything.”

He turns around then, storming off outside. He needs some fresh air. He needs to clear his head.

~*~

Dean swallows back the tears as he watches his brother step outside. He gets it, too. He gets Gabriel’s pain. But he can’t bring himself to care. It makes Dean angry, actually. So angry. God, he needs help. He can’t do it. He won’t be able to look at Gabriel without feeling hate ever again, he knows it.

It’s not the worst, though. The worst is that Sam considers him broken. He doesn’t see the brother in Dean anymore, and it hurts. It hurts more than anything else.

He tries not to cry, and he goes back to the kitchen, mind heavy with dark thoughts. He can’t stay here. He needs to go. Far away from here. Far away from Gabriel.

~*~

“Sam, I said no,” Dean grunts, pulling a wooden pole from the truck in front of him. “We wait until they all get their IDs, and once it’s done we’re outta here, capisce?”

Sam follows him as he drags the pole away.

“I get it, Dean. You don’t wanna stay here too long, but they’re your friends. Don’t you wanna help them build a life, too?”

Dean lets the pole fall on the ground, next to the other poles and planks they already took out of the truck. Gabriel ordered some wood so they could build the first house in the property. Right between the barn and the gardens. This one will be for Charlie and Gilda. They’re really excited about it.

“I’d love nothin’ more than that, Sammy, but I can’t, alright? I just…” he looks away, “I can’t stay here. I need to get away, okay?” He walks back to the truck.

Sam still follows, sighing. “I get it, Dean. Sorry I asked…”

“I know why you’re asking, though, don’t think I’m stupid. We can take Jess with us if you want, for a hunt or two, then bring her back here.”

Sam huffs. “That’s not… whatever. The girls need my help.”

And he leaves, a small smile on his face. Dean keeps working, but it’s so hot now that he feels he’s going to faint if he doesn’t stop. He still hasn’t recovered his full strength back. He’s pretty sure it’s all in his head, though. Physically, he’s perfect. Gabriel healed his whole body. Even the scars have disappeared.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, he straightens up. A small break in the shade would do him some good. As he walks in the direction of the big willow tree in the back, he passes Meg, who’s trying to bring a lot of planks at once to the place where they’ll build the house, all on her own.

“What,” she barks at Dean when she sees him look at her.

He raises his hand in the air, placating, a smirk on his face. She turns to Cas who’s standing there, frowning at the planks like they’re going to move on their own if he looks long enough.

“Hey, Clarence,” she calls.

Castiel looks up, clearly used to the nickname, even though he doesn’t seem too happy about it.

“Castiel.”

“Whatever, come on and help me here! These things are heavy!”

He lets out a long sigh, and goes to help her.

Dean wants to smile at that, but he doesn’t find the strength to pretend anymore. He needs a break. From everyone, and everything. Finally, he lets himself fall under the willow tree, and settles, his back to the trunk. His eyes find the spot where he’d been whipped, and he feels the violent need to throw up, suddenly. He closes his eyes, focusing on the heat around him, the slight breeze on his face. Breathing in. Breathing out.

It’s just a memory. Memories can’t hurt him if he doesn’t let them.

He stays like this for a while, just listening to the sounds the others make as they work. The sound of birds in the trees. The sound of the wind.

He jumps when he hears footsteps, and his eyes snap open. Gabriel is coming toward him, a bottle of water in hand and a sheepish smile on his face. Dean wants to punch him. He doesn’t say anything. He looks away as Gabriel comes closer, hesitating when he gets close, then sitting next to him, a reasonable distance away.

“You’re going to over-heat if you don’t drink something,” he says, handing Dean the bottle.

Dean takes it, but doesn’t open it. He hears Gabriel sigh.

“Sam says you’re going to leave soon.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want, you know.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah, well, sorry if I don’t wanna stick around more than I have to. I don’t exactly have good memories of this place.”

He looks at the place where the pole he was tied to had been a few months ago, and he can’t help but shudder. Gabriel follows his gaze, and he stares silently for a while.

“Not even one good memory, uh?”

That’s all he can think to say? Dean closes his eyes, feeling anger bubble up his chest, but he holds it back. He looks at Gabriel again, taking a breath.

“I can’t think about us without thinking about you, and right now the only thing I wanna do when that happens is punch you in the face.”

Nodding, Gabriel looks down. “I understand.”

“Do you? Really? Because it looks a lot like you’re following me around these days.”

“It’s because I wish…” he stops, looking away at the mansion. “It would be… appreciated, if we could find some common ground, try to… get back to what we were before. Before everything. Or at least try to get along before you go.”

Putting the bottle on the ground, Dean huffs.

“It won’t happen. You know it won’t. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore, you get that?” He looks at Gabriel, really looks, for the first time in a long while. “The only thing I feel when I look at you is hate and it’s exhausting! And I’m tired of pretending everything’s good, okay? I can’t stay, and we can’t be friends, and we can’t… I can’t do it.”

Gabriel stares back, eyes shining. Dean has to look away.

“I can’t get better if I’m around you,” Dean adds, final.

And a strange sort of guilt takes hold of him, twisting his guts. The people here, all the things he’s been through, all the things he lived here, he can’t forget them. He hears Gabriel move next to him, and he opens his mouth before the angel can leave.

“Christmas is a good memory, though,” he almost whispers. “The part before you bent me over your desk, I mean.”

Gabriel huffs a little laugh. “It was good. We should do that again this year. Maybe Sam and you could join us.”

“We’ll see…”

They spend another minute without speaking or looking at each other. Until Gabriel opens his mouth again.

“So, can we say we’re good, at least? You and me. Can we at least be civil to each other and have little chats from time to time?”

Dean thinks about it. He doesn’t want them to be, but on the other hand, the others are here, and if he wants to come back and see them sometimes, he has to make an effort, and try to make his stay here bearable, at least. He stares at Gabriel again. The usual rage turns into hate, but he tries not to let it show on his face. He takes a deep breath. He’s tired. _So tired God help I’m so tired Can’t take this anymore Too many feeling Too much hate So tired Can’t do this--_

“Yeah,” he lies. “We’re good.”

“Dean!!!”

Dean looks up, and sees Meg waving at him, Castiel following behind her, hands on his hips. He rolled the sleeves of his shirt and looks like he’s about to keel over and die.

“Stop brooding and come help us!”

A quiet laugh escapes Dean’s lips, and he stands up, groaning. He picks up the bottle of water and extends his hand to Gabriel to help him up. The angel looks at his hand like he doesn’t know what it’s for, but takes it. Dean ignores the goose bumps going up his arm when he touches him. He lets go as soon as he can, but he’s proud of himself. He’s trying. He can do this.

“Come on,” Meg urges, impatient.

Dean follows her. He can feel Gabriel’s eyes on him, but he ignores it for now. When he gets to the place where the construction is supposed to take place, everyone is already here. Even Michael, who doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing here. Charlie is giving instructions, showing blue prints she drew herself. Gabriel comes closer to her, and Dean stays a bit behind, looking at all of them.

Sam and Jess are eyeing each other, a small smile on their faces. Gilda is next to Charlie, looking like she won the lottery. Charlie is talking with great gestures, excited to see her future house built. Bobby and Mrs. Herbert have their arms crossed over their chests, the only ones truly listening, probably, Dean thinks. Lisa is whispering to Victor, and Victor is smiling at her in a way that makes Dean think there may be something there he hadn’t noticed before. Ben, Jordan, Will and Leo are sitting in the grass, as Jordan and Ben try to learn some signs to communicate with Leo, under Will’s supervision. Meg is next to Cas, standing tall and proud like she’s the one who’s going to build the house all by herself.

And Gabriel.

Dean stares at him for a long time, trying to see what he’s truly feeling when he looks at the angel. Truth is, he doesn’t really know. Anger and hate, he got that under control. But there’s something else. Regret, guilt maybe?

With a sighs, he decides to let go. It doesn’t matter, anyway. He’s okay, now. He has Sam, and everyone else. His family. Even if he feels the need to go away for a while, he knows he can always come back. Sam will probably make him, anyway. He’s so into Jess it’s almost comical.

And Dean… Dean is happy about that. He’s happy, he realizes. He doesn’t feel ecstatic, but rather a quiet sort of happiness. He’s happy that Sam’s happy. Happy that Meg is opening up. Happy that everyone is starting a new life. And he is, too. Starting a new life.

And he knows it’ll be okay. He’s sort of okay, for now, and that’s all that matters.

Gabriel’s eyes catch his, and he smiles, a sad, questioning smile.

Dean’s stomach churns, but he forces himself to smile back. Gabriel seems relieved, and the smile finally reaches his eyes.

Dean looks away.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking right now. Is that it? Is that the end? That's scandalous! 
> 
> Well, I have a good and a bad news for you. Which one do you want first? The bad, uh? Yeah, it's better, right?
> 
> So, bad news is, there won't be any timestamps. I know, I know. It's sad. But, I'm not even sad myself right now, because you know what the good news is?
> 
> Yes, I'm writing a sequel. 
> 
> It'll take a little while for me to start publishing, but it'll happen. So, until next time, be patient, give the fic a bit of love, a kudos, or maybe a comment? I love those, they make me very happy.
> 
> I need to thank Lisa, my beta, who works super fast and never complains. You're the best, and I hope we'll work with each other on lots of other things. 
> 
> And I also need to thank you all, who take the time to comment on every chapter, to give me long and detailed reviews, and gave me the motivation I needed to finish that monstruous thing. 
> 
> Thank you for reading me. See you soon :)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [ My tumblr ](http://disizletzi.tumblr.com/search/ride+that+wind+back+home).


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